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#trans women are women and there is nothing that hack can do to change it besides cry to her terfs on a bird app
the-batgirl · 2 years
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starbright-cobweb · 2 years
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NSFW transsexual depression
One side-effect of being on t is that I've finally felt properly at peace with being pan - but it's in quite a hazy way. Not pan as in, "I love to be a person who desires many different people" but weirder than that; the image of an orgy or fantasy transsexualism or a bisexual-gaze on a heterosexual encounter are closer to the mark, but that's still a bit too specific for something so diffuse; a desire that is pansexual because it is *all things all at once* rather than a sequence of variations. And it seems to be far less about "these are all the people I could be attracted to" than "these are all the genders I might temporarily inhabit", something about me that is unfixed, a homeless spirit in search of a body.
Anyway, I have gone into an immense depression because my chest has changed shape - one would assume, for the better; except I don't feel good, I feel like I've left one nice gender without clearly arriving at a different one. It's *weird* palming off your desire for women onto temporarily being a woman-stand-in during your intimate encounters, but it turns out losing that dissociative-autoerotic experience is strange and sad, when you're used to it, and especially when one doesn't feel a new connection it its place. Presumably, this is what cis mono folk feel all the time
(although apparently, they have done the study to find out that yes, cis women also meet the clinical criteria for autogynephilia {the historic transmisogynist medical diagnosis that theorised trans women were merely fetishists who liked to be attracted to their own body as feminine.} Turns out, most women like feeling attractive in their own body as a component of their sexual life. One wonders if this is quite so true of men, given the way that the male gaze dominates our society, and most women are raised among an ambient noise of sexualised women everywhere in advertising and popular culture. It's probably also true of men! There's nothing unusual about liking to feel desireable. Frankly, I think of anyone I've ever heard talk about it, I think maybe *I* meet the criteria for autogynephilia - in the sense that the original transphobic doctors meant it - that you can sort of enjoy being attracted to women through the medium of your own body, without actually wanting to be one or live as one in your inner mind and soul)
Someone made a throwaway post about the Greek gods existing on a spectrum of "no gender" to "lots of gender", which I thought was funny and wise, and I think a lot about the varying fates of "nonbinary" vs "genderqueer", the former a sort of hazy grey with a tint of watercolour violet to it, the latter a brassy gold and a jewel-tone rainbow. It's more specific than just depression at being trans, more like depression at no longer being anything; and I suppose fears of becoming undesireable, that starts with my own assessment of what I'm personally into. I always presumed that "pan for every gender but trans men" was a kind of internalised Something, but maybe I'm just into an overabundance of gendered signifiers rather than gender-minimalism.
Partly I think I'm just crap at being queer, like we're supposed to have Radically Fixed an eros that doesn't follow scripts or expectations, doesn't require certain kinds of bodies or to be centered around certain kinds of acts; and so when you don't fit, it shouldn't be disabling, it's a roundabout route to empowerment - how beautiful our experiments are. Rather than looking at where I am now and thinking: well, I have no idea what to do with any of this. I feel like the butt of the unkindness of jokes about how the hets just can't hack (mouths/hands/toys/etc) - which were never good jokes, and always a kind of defensively smug - unkind to the ways that what is important, is important.
I don't feel attractive in the male way; and there's a very real sense in which, "attractive in the trans-butch genderqueer cusp way" is my worst nightmare, something that paradoxically feels worse and further away than drifting along in non-denominational womanhood. & that's a worry that's limited me a Lot; like, playing around with suits at the weekend, I'm definitely able to pull myself together in a way that's desireable to someone - but not in ways that I enjoy. But then I think, maybe some time spent hooking up with people specifically thirsty for where I am in this moment might be good for me - like eating an apple or being good for the dentist.
It's strange, given the popular conception of going on T, but increasingly certain over the past few weeks that I've somehow become more asexual; which doesn't feel like a relief or something resolving, as the bi stuff does, more like - oh heck, more uncertainty, more ways to feel weird in my body and relationships. And I feel like I've lost touch with the small handful of things I knew I liked (without learning new ones), and that doesn't feel like an exciting moment of possibility, more like more opportunities to get passively assaulted a lot; if I can't pilot my own body, there's no hope in a stranger figuring it out.
Anyway, last night as I was laying awake in the dark - it came to me clear as a voice from God: I'd rather be dead than queer. oh crikey, how are we in 2022 and yet somehow still there. Love to feel so intimately connected to the long lineage of ancestors that way, to feel their thoughts and know their inmost secrets. This week has been strange; I experimented with my large collection of depression lingerie for comfort, to check that nope - also not good. It feels like I've exchanged a sense of active discomfort in my body for sudden absence and alienation. What would it feel like to stop existing? A bit like this, I suppose.
And I miss my ex; that is, I miss being in a situation where the world seems to be turning aright, I miss having a sense of something that is very certain and deeply-felt, instead of everything seeming a bit false and like I'm sort of going through the motions without a clear compass or star. I can see where I fit into that world; and I don't know how to find that with another person, or independently of a person. An endless sense of wrongness; a half of something. I'd like to sit down with this part of me and talk over a cup of tea, and feel myself warmed.
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honey-dewey · 3 years
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When the Queen Becomes the King
Pairing: Maxwell Lord x FtM Trans Reader
Word Count: 2,092
Warnings; Depression and gender dysphoria, mentions of cancer, Maxwell cries, but a very fluffy ending. 
Permanent Taglist: @phoenixhalliwell
Trans reader having trouble with the whole identity shit and needs a change ASAP, so Max decides to give him the full Maxwell beauty treatment. Yes I am projecting again. 
Maxwell always told you he loved the night. It was dark and comforting, an ever present blanket that wrapped him up and helped him sleep. 
You were quite the opposite. The night was a horror show to you, filled with demons and silence. 
Rolling over in the bed you shared with your boyfriend, you sighed, gazing out the floor to ceiling windows, at the bustling DC midnight. If New York was the city that never slept, then DC was the city that ran on two hours of sleep and eight cups of coffee. The only time you could imagine it ever being quiet and dark was around 2 AM. 
2 AM, which was slowly approaching. Maxwell slept beside you, lightly snoring. It wasn’t him keeping you awake, oh no. It was your own head. Horrible thoughts and even worse confessions, until you no longer felt like yourself. 
Truthfully, you hadn’t ever really felt like yourself, but that wasn’t a concern until the lights went out. 
Sighing as you watched a helicopter in the distance, you tried to imagine a different life for yourself. You were still dating Maxwell, of course. He was a constant, no matter what you imagined. But instead of laying beside him in a soft nightgown, you were wearing sleep pants similar to his, with two sets of men’s clothes in the closet instead of his suits and your dresses. You were different in your imagination, all flat chest and strong arms, a better jaw and less softness to your face. Maxwell always complimented you when you stood displeased in front of the mirror, but his reassurance that you looked amazing only made you feel worse. 
Wiping away tears, you realized DC had gotten quieter as midnight came and went. The quiet filled you, making your thoughts loud. Too loud. 
Slipping out of bed, you walked as quietly as possible to the bathroom. For as much as he slept, Maxwell was a very light sleeper. You shut the bathroom door slowly and as soon as it was shut, you collapsed, feeling the cold tile press into your skin. It was a shock, but a welcome one. Through the thinness of your nightgown, you could feel each groove in the tile, rolling onto your back to stare up at the ceiling. In here, the air conditioning was louder, the gentle hum washing over your thoughts and taking them away, like the ocean reclaiming a seashell from the shore. 
The bathroom light flickered, meaning Maxwell had probably noticed you were missing from the bed and turned on the bedside lamp. 
Sitting up, you began to fabricate your lie, that you’d felt sick and wanted to make sure you didn’t throw up in the bed. Maxwell would believe that. He always did. 
Grabbing the bathroom counter to haul yourself to standing, your hand hit something. Staring down, you took in the innocent sight of Maxwell’s razor. 
Taking a breath, you moved your trembling hand. He had a habit of not putting stuff away when he was tired, and this was no exception. 
“Doll?” Maxwell’s late night rasp shocked you so much you jumped. “Are you okay?” 
You opened your mouth to respond, but no sound came out. The shuffling sound of Maxwell getting out of bed alerted you, but you couldn’t do anything about it. All you could do was shake. 
“Doll,” Maxwell said again, opening the door and squinting in the light. “What are you-“ he cut off at the image of you, terrified, filled his eyes. “Doll, is that my razor?” 
Tearing your gaze from him, you looked down at your hand, which did, in fact, have a death grip on the razor. 
Maxwell carefully wrapped his hand around yours, trying to ease your grip. “Doll. What’s wrong?” 
You still couldn’t speak, choking on your words as you collapsed into Maxwell’s chest, body heaving with sobs. 
“Oh doll,” Maxwell murmured, wrapping you in a hug and carrying you to the bed. “Doll, are you feeling ill?” 
You shook your head. 
“Is it something mental?” 
You nodded, and Maxwell immediately lay you on the duvet and cuddled you to his chest, you still in his lap. “It’s okay, doll. I’m here.” 
“It’s not okay,” you sobbed out, cold hands pressing to Maxwell’s bare sides. “Nothing is okay!” 
Maxwell stroked your hair. “It will be one day,” he promised. “One day, it will all be okay.” 
“Max,” you rasped, pulling away so you could meet his eyes. “Max, I’m sick.” 
It was the wrong thing to say. Maxwell immediately began to cry just as hard as you, securing you in a solid hug. You were surprised until you remembered he’d lost almost half his family to cancer. Telling him you were sick meant, in his mind, you were dying. 
“Max,” you said, still crying. “Max, I’m fine. I’m not, Max, I’m okay.” 
Maxwell clutched your nightgown tighter. “I can’t lose you,” he gasped, you feeling his chest heave. “Not you.” 
“Maxwell, I’m a boy!” You all but yelled, grabbing his face and making him look at you. His eyes went wide, hands taking yours. “I’m a boy,” you breathed, wiping away Maxwell’s tears. 
“That’s it?” Maxwell asked, looking you up and down. “That’s it? That’s all? Promise?” 
You nodded. “I promise. That’s all. Not dying.” 
“But still sick?” 
Another nod. “Still sick. My brain is sick, like yours.” 
Maxwell took a breath. He’d been diagnosed with childhood PTSD, and he hated it. “Just like mine?” 
“No,” you amended. “But close. My brain isn’t the same as my body. My brain is male, but my body is female.” 
Maxwell nodded. “So, you’re not my queen. You’re my king.” 
Smiling, you stroked his face, wiping away the final tears. “Yeah, your king.” 
The next day, after a night of simply holding each other and staying awake in each other’s arms, Maxwell insisted on canceling every meeting he had. He told everyone over the phone that you weren’t feeling well and he was going to take the day off to care for you. 
Taking care of you apparently meant cuddling you for the better part of the morning, occasionally murmuring compliments that made you blush. When he finally did manage to get you out of bed, he rummaged through his closet until he found an old pair of pyjamas for you to wear. They were worn out and a bit too big, but they were distinctly not women's clothes. 
“We can find something for your chest later today,” Maxwell promised, admiring you despite the fact that it was just pyjamas. “And your hair.” 
“Oh.” You reached a hand up on instinct, touching your hair. “Actually, can you do it?” 
Maxwell’s face scrunched. “Are you sure? My stylist can definitely do a better job than I can.” 
You nodded, turning from the mirror to face Maxwell. “I’m sure.” 
Despite what was about to be a bathroom hack job, Maxwell insisted on trying to give you, in his words, ‘a quality experience.’ He dragged one of your barstools into the bathroom, set yesterday’s newspaper on the floor to make cleaning easier, and even refused to use the kitchen shears. You simply watched, laughing as Maxwell passed you with the stool. “Do you want help?” 
“Nope!” Max said cheerily. “Today is about you, so I’m going to do all the heavy lifting!” 
“Literally,” you added, smiling as he put the stool down and rubbed his back. “Do you still love me?” 
Maxwell straightened, clearly confused. “Of course. Why wouldn’t I?” 
“Because I’m a boy,” you said softly. “And that would make you, y’know,” 
“Gay?” Maxwell took your hands and kissed each of your palms, resting them on his cheeks when he was finished. “I don’t care who you are. I love you no matter what. You’re always going to be caring and handsome and perfect, and I will always, always love you.” 
You smiled, trying to get rid of the tears in your eyes. “I love you Max.” 
“I love you more my king.” 
You laughed, burying your face in his shoulder. “Oh, I’m never going to escape that, am I?” 
“Nope!” Maxwell said cheerily, scooping you up and placing you on the stool. “Now, my king,” he said, putting one of his old towels over your shoulders. “How do I do this?” 
“Well,” you said slowly, handing him the scissors. “The bulk has to go. Before we do anything.” 
Maxwell nodded, running his hands through your hair one last time before gathering it in a hair tie. “Ready?” 
“Maxwell, darling, I don’t think I’ll ever be ready.” Truth be told, you were gripping the edge of the stool so tight that your knuckles had gone white. “Just do it.” 
Taking a deep breath, Maxwell sunk the scissors just above the hair tie, face scrunching as he worked. Within a minute, he was gingerly placing the severed hair down on the counter, as cautious as if he was holding a removed arm. “Well. Now that that’s done. What now?” 
You opened your eyes. Hair, choppy and highly uneven, framed your jaw. It was a start, and you could feel Maxwell sifting his hands through your hair. You vaguely heard a joke about a mullet, and then he began to gauge length, humming to himself. 
“Max,” you said, so softly he probably didn’t even hear you. “Max.” 
“Hm? Have you decided on a style? I was just thinking we could do something like mine.” 
You shook your head, reaching for Maxwell’s razor that he still hadn’t put away. “Babe,” he said warningly. “What are you doing?” 
Before he could stop you or even get another word out, you turned the razor on and in one swift movement, shoved it down the center of your skull, sending a cascade of hair down your shoulders. 
“Babe!” Maxwell shouted, but you just handed him the razor and took a stiff breath. 
“Your turn,” you said, never tearing your eyes from the mirror. 
Maxwell was a lot more hesitant than you had been, but he did as you asked. Cradling your head with one hand, he continued what you’d started, taking surprisingly expert care of you. When he finished, he stepped back, turning the razor off and nodding. “Happy?” 
You turned to face him, meeting his eyes. “Yes,” you said, voice no higher than a whisper. “Max, darling, I’m finally myself.” 
Maxwell smiled, holding your hands and helping you down off the stool. “Why don’t we shower,” he suggested. “I’ll find you something to wear, and then we can go out shopping, okay?” 
It was a good plan. Maxwell turned the shower on, leaving you to bathe so he could pull clothes. 
“Try these,” he said, handing you your tightest sports bra and his boxers. You did, smiling as he passed you a shirt and pants. He’d outgrown them years ago, before he’d met you, but kept them for sentiment. Now, they fit you well, and you turned in a circle to see the outfit from all angles. 
“Shall we?” Maxwell asked once he was also dressed, holding an arm out to you. 
You laughed. “We shall,” you said, linking arms with him and following him out into the DC summer. 
It was odd, shopping for men’s clothes. Maxwell was insistent upon getting you a nice suit for events, and you followed him easily. Somehow, he knew all the safe shops, the ones where they accepted people like you. 
“And would you like to try a binding bra?” The woman who was helping you asked. 
You nodded. “Yes please.” 
She grabbed the appropriately sized bra and helped you in it. “That man of yours, he’s very supportive. You better keep him around, or someone else will snatch him up.” 
Smiling, you remembered Maxwell’s seemingly instant acceptance of you. “I don’t think him leaving will be a problem,” you said softly, admiring the suit you were in. “This is nice.” 
“Why don’t you go show your boyfriend,” the woman said, and you did. 
All throughout the day, Maxwell was happy by your side, even when people jeered and a reporter asked him how he felt dating a man. He simply shoved them off and said you and him were as happy as ever. 
And as you snuggled down into bed that night, lulled by the never ending bustle of the DC skyline, you realized that he was right. Tucked up under Maxwell’s arm, wearing his pyjama bottoms and no shirt, the soft stubble of your hair tickling his skin, you had never been happier.
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sassaetcie · 3 years
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The Molten Charcoal - Chapter 4 - Silver x Idia Fanfiction
Yeah I may have... forgotten I was publishing this on tumblr... I apologize krkrkr.
I shouldn't have said "yes" that easily. I'm just so weak after a certain time outside... Like it must be a downgrade or something... Sure I don't want to hurt Ortho but... If I end doing shit in front of Silver, I will ashame everone (once again lol), right? I can't tell anymore if it was a safe bet or not... No, it never has been a "safe" bet because I'm playing with humans www. They aren't as easily predictable as AI if they aren't shaking in fear... if they "aren't shaking in fear". Shut the fuck. Shut the fuck up, Idia. No, I should talk like this, right? This is the way I get to the top in videogames, after all... No, shut the fuck. The only reason you get this high... Is it because of "this"? Or "that"? Or both? Or neither, in the end? Nothing "has" to make sense, after all... If everything had to make sense, they would be true. I DON'T WANT THEM TO BE TRUE. EVERYTHING IS THEIR FAULT. EVERYTHING IS THEIR FAULT. THEY'RE THE ONES BEING WRONG, OR BEING A DIFFERENT KIND OF WRONG. If I'm doing everything "wrong" because everyone keeps thinking like them, then there's a possibility that I'm actualy the only one being right, right? (That's a Higurashi curse-like thinking but that's not exactly what I mean...) Everyone is a fucking weirdo here, so why am I the one considered even stranger? That must mean "something else". Or does that doesn't mean anything? Why am I even thinking about all this crap? That's because of them. I shouldn't think about all this... But if I don't, I'm going to disappoint Ortho because I'm going to be stupid and not trying enough... That's because of them. Because they wanted me so bad to be their heir. "A meeting is funny as long as you can play with the people". Why did you want me to play like you? I shouldn't have been here watching every adult whispering. I shouldn't have been here, hearing all these bad things. I shouldn't have been here. But my hair cannot betray you, right? I cannot hide. I cannot run. I cannot speak. Even if this adult smiles, he will stabs the other. Even if this one threatens to stab, it will be "only" a joke. Will it be? Which of them was joking? Which of them IS joking? Why did you show me this? Why did you show me so many people, as if they were your playthings? You really enjoyed inviting every last of them knowing they would insult you, and making them fear for one day to be fighting each other under your blackmailing, right? You even expected me to be abducted, huh? You didn't give a shit when I was abducted by this smiling couple. They really looked nice. I can't tell if they looked nicer than you. How many days did I spend here? They were still nice when they were with me. They kept on smiling. They lied. They lied again. Do I have to become an adult like this? I hate this. I hate this, I hate this, I hate this. WHY DO YOU EXIST. WHY DO I HAVE TO BECOME LIKE THIS TO SURVIVE? I DON'T WANT TO. I'm tired... Why did they keep on smiling to me even when I told them I knew I had been abducted? Did they really not want to worry me because they didn't bear me a grudge for one of the things you had done to them? I'm sorry... I'm sorry, I can't understand, Ortho. I'm sorry, I'm really sorry, you did so much for me and I'm just lost between all of these things... And I was released and I didn't die, right... Right... I'm sorry, I'm sorry, Ortho. I shouldn't... What should I think? I was almost murdered, right? But I didn't die. Even when another two brothers, two agressive brothers I definitely chose to escape from, caught me and threatened me to death with knives... I didn't die. I knew they were dangerous, right? Or did I want to believe they were not since the smiling couple was a bunch of bastard NPC? I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry... I don't want to apologize outside of this... This will be useless, right? Ortho, you're always trying to help me but you were the one killed, right? I barely woke you up... did I? Or are you another type of fake as well? Who are you, "Ortho"? I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I don't want to doubt you. I don't want to doubt Ortho. If he's the true Ortho, everything's alright. If he is my creation, everything's alright as well. Your skin is alive. Your voice is there. Haha... I should make a Frankenstein's ref here. I feel a bit better but I need to vent... I'll just play a bit.
Thanks [x], WyverneCastel was there and at least my day wasn't an absolute hell (lol). At first the game was total shit since there were a lot of servers crash on this new game, I honestly thought we would just leave and go back to TESO or something casual, since I've already rushed Dragon Nest's new events and the others, lol. We have been able to play but in the end the game was worthless, lmao. It wasn't original, had nothing to be "interesting". Maybe it was "fun" but I don't really care about it anymore... At least, WyverneCastel was funny. They even asked me if I was alright??? I thought they were joking or begging me to buy them something in another game, but it seemed not? I thought it would be good to test out if they were a true friend or not and huh... I was terrified at first.  I thought the whole room was dragging itself into flames and that heat was going to consume me. Either I would burn out or burn the whole world down like I was probably expected to do. So... I've spoken to them, for once. They appeared to be really understanding, somehow. I thought I might get banned or blacklisted for saying out loud that I was gay but oh, I guess our gamers's mindset wasn't that shitty for once. He wasn't surprised that much, so I can't tell if he was really serious about anything but... He told me that of course if the one I loved rejected me because I love him instead of "her", then I should just forget about him because he would be just another bastard I shouldn't pine on... Sure enough, but if love was that easily curable, I wouldn't be on the verge of grieving, nah, crying with all my might just because I "have" a date with the one I love, even though it really doesn't make any sense. Of course I shouldn't be ashamed of being in love with him, and I'm not ashamed of being gay, fuck off. I barely told him that I was in love with a prince-type... Was it wrong? I mean, I have to stay honest or I'll just be the shy-neet everyone likes for no specific reason but pity... And if I can be different than them, it would be for the best as well... If they want to make fun of me for this, I will just hack them and teach them a little something, still lurking in my own den. Or in the worst case, I would have changed my pseudo... WyverneCastel did not mock me, and maybe never ... even fathomed mocking me. That's probably just a dumb thought but I feel like they are just curious and benevolent (I guess they're the depressed mysterious dude character)? Nonetheless, I don't want to be naive and crushed, but even more I don't want to get closer to the Flame Crown. I don't even want to write down their names. They don't deserve it, right? WyverneCastel, WyverneCastel, WyverneCastel. Let's scribble down more about them.
They... told me I would find my prince if I wanted that much to be with one, and yet feared that much being with them. I guess he would be the kind to speak of "trials", "fate" and "forgiveness". A hopeless optimist, an eternal philanthropist (and not the Izaya kind, huh). I should tell him someday that I'm happy to have him as a friend. He probably already knows about it... right? Maybe I'll just make myself a stupid lad by telling him this... But does he want me to tell him this, too? Perhaps he wishes for a single word as an "hope"? He knew of my school as a "miracle", too. He even asked me if my "beloved" was Epel Felmier... I mean, I could have, perhaps? He's way too cute for me, he almost looks like a child (not a girl since just thinking about it would bring a curse upon me lmao, no honestly, even if I don't like him, that would be disrespectful.), I can't. And we also talked about how frightening he was whenever he snapped... Definitely not for me, and he looks fake too... Like all of Pomefiore, except creepHunt, to be fair. They are just so superficial and shiny... It looks like they want to walk on water and leaped out of it to sit on sunny clouds. I would offer my flames to them if I could... I just told WyverneCastel my love was another student, and not a Pomefiore one. Of course, he could have heard of the school because of its reputation and Pomefiore because Vil is in it... But I'm pretty sure he is a student now, since he already told me he was a guy (wouldn't have assume his gender if he didn't tell me). Well! I assumed he was a student because of the ominous silence following my answer before he started rambling again. His Internet couldn't have crashed since I still could hear his mic buzzing, and so neither was the mic off. He simply, didn't make a sound. For a few seconds. And if he had been surprised about my choice not "being Epel", then he would have surprised before, and not lolling as he was, probably. I didn't tell him but he probably wants me to ask him about this someday too. I guess... I didn't have the time to question him since some scams invaded our serv and began behaving as if they were girls with their girly characters in-game... Of course they were asking for money for IRL meetings and all that stuff so I just hacked them... It took a few minutes, but I couldn't afford to lose hours with WyverneCastel trying to ignore them when they were making a ruckus and... using hyper sexualized women characters? Like wtf, are we still in the past, dudes? They're just hurting everyone by doing this, and the LGBTQIA+ community doesn't needs some dumbfucked lads who would just serve as scapegoats for people hating on trans people and women... So fucking tiresome. I just wanted to talk about my prince and bad-written NPCs barged in. In the end, he just told me everything would be alright as long as I was staying true to my self and that I wouldn't find any semi-perfect prince if I didn't... I guess he meant that it would be easier to find one if I was faking but that the prince would indeed be ideal if everything was a lie, but then the whole prince, castle and white horse would be stuck together around me, and there would be no way of separating them... And the other way around, probably. I should take a walk and sleep, now... Or try to sleep, at least.
[Started Recording at : 9:45 am : Fourth? Day]
The coliseum was blessed by hollowness. Void and vacuity, though fake vacuity in the end, facing the sweet void, twirled among the stairs yet engraved by humans centuries ago. The eerie, airy presents were not made to hold any perfume neither scent. Only one or two students jumped from seat to seat to leave but nothing behind them. All of the ancient chairs were on their own, now.  And thus, the presence among them refrained from gamboling as well, and went back to another void. They were, after all, no exception.
-Hmm, it seems the coliseum is empty today. I guess sometimes pups do behave as good boys. Well, if they study in the meantime, that is.
The wind was cut at some point, even if it was authorized to come in this area. He should not be that greedy, probably. No storm, no tempest, no breeze was to interrupt an exam day in the coliseum. Sunshine could not disappear yet, but someday quiet shadows would run accross the dirt field. Stones bedecked by seals and symbols did not need all of this light.
-Pups! Come here. Let us make teams and start the exam right in time.
Each student throngs on the still ground.
-Hm, everyone is here. Good boys. Diamond Cater, Hunt Rook, please make a first team. Mhh... Well, Shroud Idia... What is it, Clover Trey?
-I don't mean to interrupt you at all, sir and I'm sorry if I do. I would like to know if it were possible to be with Shroud? His performances may end up bad if he was with someone he doesn't know, and he may also have panic attack and it would mess up everything.
-This is quite an harsh way of saying things, Clover Trey. I would like Shroud Idia to overcome his fears, but let us be benevolent for this test only. He barely shows up, after all. But next time will be a random pairing, remember this. And this will only works if Shroud Idia agrees with you, Clover Trey. What of it, Shroud Idia?
-I-i-i-i-I... huh... wh-why not... after all...
-Thanks, Crewel sir, thanks Shroud.
The seats were still empty, and were meant to stay away from a temporary crowd. The sun was already too much of a witness, in the end. How much would he suck away all of the water in the flames heir? Perhaps it would first attack his surroundings. He was not alone. There was even a possibility he would get away with a tiny drop in his hands. A drop shining by reflecting.
-Diamond Cater, Hunt Rook, get yourselves ready. Shroud Idia, Clover Trey, stand in front of them. We will start the exam. Let us see who can stand until the end.
The two semi-teams came forth. None of them were fully a team, indeed. Diamond and Hunt smiled to a certain percent, and Clover and Shroud stressing to another. Was it the higher the better, or the lower the better? Several words were muttered by Idia, and Trey barely reacted. Were Rook and Cater deserving of a victory, now?
-Lets us begin, puppies.
-Damoiseau orné de diamants, may you use your unique magic to ease our hunt?
-Suuure~ I planned on doing it from the moment we were facing Shroud anyway~ He fears crowd so let's have fun, Shrouuud~! I'll take a selfie with you if you lose eheh!
-Hey, Shroud you... Hey, why are you hiding behind my back?! Jeez... it was to be expected, I guess. Fine, let's go, Cater! I won't abandon Shroud the way you don't care about Hunt!
-"Split Card"! Let's go, myselves~ Let's pin cutie Trey to the ground and force him to give up!
-Oh, oh, so you think something as simple will work on me, Cater?! Your "selves" won't move anymore if I can strike them all in one single shot... "Doodle Suit"!
-HEHHHHHH?! DID YOU JUST REWRITE MYSELVES?!
-OH YES I DID!
-N-nevermind! It won't be enough to defeat me... as if my unique magic was the only thing that was... shining withing myself! Take thiiiiiiiiiiiis!
A fireball flew across the area, flickering of mad sparkles. Yet, it was alone, as blinding as it could be. No other fires hid themselves. The light went forward, running through the usual sea-like Cater toward the forever lake-like Trey. Cater's "selves" were still, and would not move as long as Trey was not overdoing himself. Basically, Cater "should" have aimed to reduce his focus and magic slots. If Trey could have defend himself twice, then he should have throw several fireballs, as long as they were more than two. Yet he did not. No matter how Trey was stretching his neck and all body as one, there was but one fireball coming his way.
-That won't do it, Cater! I will bring you down... and I will take care of Hunt!
-Heeh~ Could that mean you can't take both of us down? You're really tired, huuh~! I will make you fall asleep and you'll have some sweets dreams, Treyyyyyy~!
They both brung their hands on their foreheads and wiped some sweat, almost in the same fashion as well. There was a possibility they were both lying. Yet, if Cater has used his unique magic and was still forced to maintain it because of Trey's unique magic coercing them into a motionless army... The fireball burst into numerous drops and shone into multiple drips full of infinite colors, filled with Trey's own magic and shades.
-Don't even think your fire magic will be enough to defeat me.
-Then I'll use some tree one... Just kidding! I knew I wouldn't defeat you, but we already won, right, Rook~?
-Damoiseauuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Rook Hunt had disappeared from Trey sight for a long time for obvious reasons, but so had Idia.
-I... don't see Le Roi des Ombres behind Le Chevalier des Roses! Quelle est cette diablerie!
-EHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH?!
-Hehehehehehehheheheheheheheheehehehehe... NEVER UNDERESTIMATE ME AGAIN, FUCKEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERS!
A single ray came behind a still Cater's copy, bouncing between all of the numerous fake selves toward the usual fake one and its superficial yet earnest one, drenching the losing liars with a superficial water worthy of them.
-Huh... we...
-Clover Trey and Shroud Idias team won. A brilliant strategy, I reckon.
-Wait, what do you mean by strategy??? Shroud and Trey had...
-Yeah, I had planned this since the very beginning ufufufufufufuu... From the very moment you thought I was simply muttering to myself, Trey was listening to me and ready to follow my strategy!
-Uwaaa~ Idia Shroud is actually so cooool~ Can I have a selfie with you to apologize~?
-No w-w-w-w-w-way! You hypocrite...
-That aside, I must apologize for judging you, Roi des Ombres. You really do show a beautiful intellect and scheming.
-T-That's okay... Just let me go away, please...
The wind finally thronged in the no-more private area. The void would likely move as well. Among all the droplets, their status was but one, and only one. They were the one hindering the sun fostering reflection. They were the one hiding music. The child of the void's hair waltzed dazzlingly under the bright sun overflowing. His fingers tried to force the hair down in the hood, but only some of his skin obeyed in the end. He coerced his feet protected from the atmosphere by boots to move on, and more especially, back. But the crown of flames rushed forward, gleaming in front of him again.
-How beautiful, Roi des Ombres! Why would you want to hide such brightness...
-Oh, Cater, Hunt, look out, Vil came to cheer you up!
-EHHHHH?
-Oh~?
The flames followed the kid which they were yet meant to fuse with someday. They had no choice once no more could play with them... No sand was brought to their eyes, though. All elements were not helping him, after all. He had disappeared. Only clouds were playing with the sunshine.
-Eeeh, Treyyy~ Vil wasn't there, are you sure your eyesight is good even with your glasses on~...
-I'm sorry! I thought I saw him... Oh, Shroud has left.
-Chevalier des Roses, you are but quite the bad comedian. On a side note, what a great strategy, oh my!
-Rook, what the...
-Le Roi des Ombres sure has thought a lot upon this fight, hasn't he? The fact he asked you transform Damoiseau's copies into motionless mirrors to make his own shot bounce in it... Splendide! It was really splendide!
-Haha, thanks, Hunt. He really thinks a lot... He just needs some time to open up to people. Let's be nice to him.
-You three! Move away, pups! The next team has to fight!
-O-oh, yes, sorry, Crewel sir.
[Ended Recording at : 10:30 am : Fourth? Day]
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ceryanie · 4 years
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I guess I'll need to express this. I'm sorry, but I don't see nothing wrong with people believing Pidge is a Tomboy. They have their reasons.
Um... Hello. It's been a long time since VLD ended, and I'm like two years late, that's for sure and I'm conscious of it.
However, I guess I needed to express something since I didn't see anyone having the same opinion or talking about this the same way I do. I didn't have many people in this topic to agree with, I guess there are some, but I don't blame them if they didn't want to share that here.
I want to say this before I start. The first: Maybe this is going to be a very long post, I don't know how much I'm going to write or how long it takes, so, sorry if it takes a lot of time to read. Second: Maybe I'm going to reply to some points or arguments that I've heard and I feel the need to answer them; however, I'm going to be as respectful and kind as possible, because my main purpose is not ofending anyone or their feelings. Third: please, don't feel harassed, attacked or offended. This post is not made to attack personally someone. It's made basically in order to express my opinions, you have the right to answer to it, I support freedom of expression, and as much as that means your can even insult me, I also have the rights to read your notes and answer to them properly.
So, now that I made this visible, let's start.
I've seen arguments, I've seen opinions and I've seen personal identification. Being a person who has also seen lots and lots of opinions about the show in general, specific treatment of the characters, critical opinions about how and why the show went down, ships analysis and theories and... Like, more. Looking for a lot of information in this fandom like I never imagined I could be able to do because of all the polemic situation behind, I evidently found opinions which I have a very solid disagreement with. Opinions that I thought didn't had answers or nobody answered them, and sadly I guess this is one of these.
I don't have any single problem with people seen Pidge as a girly girl, inf fact, I don't blame any of them, any. It's not even their fault, they'll have their complaints and even myself have some of how this came out. So, please, If you want to keep seeing her this way without any problem, please, do it! Keep what you're doing! This is a fandom, that's what fandom's are for, for expressing ideas, theories, points if view, headcanons, whatever! I also don't have any problem with girly girls in the show, its completely fine that there are, I even love minor characters that just appear in comics, like Princess Malocoti, so... Yeah, and underrated comic female character is one of my favorites.
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I don't think its bad being girly, I don't anything bad with it. I'm also a girl myself. They can be girly, cute and be even more than that! Not only that, but I don't have any problem with other Pidge's headcanons.
My personal complaint it's because of some people whose form of public expression shows the necessity of others seeing the things the same way they do. Saying “its Canon, true facts” while I guess they are (maybe not intentionally) omitting some details that also can be easily considered as Canon and can explain why people see Pidge this way. I felt the necessity of doing this because It wasn't said enough, maybe it's not the popular opinion. I found not discussions, not answers... And I think it needed to be said. You don't need to agree with me, in fact I don't have faith for people publicly say the same as me. So, feel free to express yourself in the notes and reblogs.
So, while I do understand where the arguments come from or why, I have some stuff that I think can answer them. After this first section, of course I have even more to say.
1. Pidge dressed like a boy to enter to the Garrison, being this the only alternative she had.
Sorry but... That's very accurate! That's true. But, what happened to it? Was that exactly the only option she had? No. In fact, dressing like a boy wasn't a necessity. As someone whose name I reserve the mention (its out of Tumblr) “There were already girls at the Garrison”.
She was not obligated to dress like a boy and the show already showed how women in the Garrison (and out) were appreciated and recognized as strong as men there. Ina Leifsdottir, Rizavi, Veronica, Sanda, Colleen... These women already showed having great qualities that make them deserving of their charges. And not to mention the girl students in the first chapter.
And more appart?! Allura, who was incredibly important for Voltron. Axca, Ezor, Zethrid, Romelle... I don't think women were treated so bad in the show that could make Pidge feel bad for herself in order to see herself “obligated” to dress like a boy just to have others respect and be in the same group as men. Instead of existing discrimination, the teamwork and the cooperation of both genders existed in the show. Not to mention that in this, women are the most intelligent, capable and strong characters.
I'm sure Pidge knew she was a girl, I don't find a way about how dressing like a boy is going to easily tell her otherwise. There are women in the Garrison already capable enough, so there wasn't a reason for Pidge feeling bad because she was a girl, the Garrison accepted girls since the first chapter.
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Apart, as I mentioned before, it wasn't the only option she had. If Pidge dressed like a boy, was because she preferred it for some reason, (a reason, by the way, that wasn’t shown), if not, I guess that was a writing or animation mistake. She easily could've changed her identity, not exactly her gender. It would have been better in order to preserve her feminity if they wanted so. It didn't seem to me like she forcedly had to cut her hair and abandon her feminity if she was that worried for that or if that was so important for her. Yes, it sounds like an argument in favor of trans Pidge, and while I do not share the same pint of view as the pople who think she is, I guess this point is a good one, there’s not even a reason for Pidge to dress like a boy in first place.
I had a suggestion.
Instead of the flashbacks we received, I would have preferred an episode of Pidge using her intelligence and spy capacities to steal different girls clothes in a clothing store, trick the employees and making sure her mom didn't suspect anything; after, questioning her most important decision: Go to the Garrison to save her family, which was so important to her that didn't even mind cutting her hair. Also, It would've been good to explain why she preferred to dress like a boy instead of using other options.
I personally didn't like how this happened because of how simple and lacked of effort her change was. Apart from her hair and glasses, she looked exactly the same, as similar as the girl who already hacked a very confidential information at the Garrison. Since that moment, they should've been more suspicious about Pidge Gunderson, even if he was a boy. It only made this seem like the security at the Garrison was low and people was not able to have common sense (that or being really bad at watching or identifying faces). Not only that, but, is Iverson ignoring the fact that “Pidge Gunderson” has exactly the same voice as Katie Holt?! And he even didn’t suspect?! It just felt like... they needed something to explain why the character has the design she has and being a girl, and if it is, it... it just didn’t need it anyway. It would've been funny seeing Pidge getting in trouble in the previous suggestion or at least disguise as a boy, but deal with Iverson. He could have known it earlier and have the dynamic of trying to catch Pidge while she's in the space, for example. Being suspicious but trying to catch her slowly while she notices he knew who she really was and start to take action passive and cleverly. I don't know, anything that could let Pidge know she's not dealing with any person. That would have made more sense, letting know how new Pidge was at trying this kind of stuff because she never had to do something like this before. Intelligent move between Pidge and Iverson every time in the academy with daring, sassiness and blackmail on the way and end being who she was before again with no problem. Other options are still the blackmail or dressing as another different girl and make an effort to look completely unlike, which would make Iverson and the rest of the members, more to identify her than just cutting her hair and pretend that nobody will notice her. And they didn’t for a while! LOL WHAAAT?! I mean, I know is a show dedicated to a general audience and everything doesn’t need to be that complex, but reinforcing the reason of why her decisions were this way and make that more than just the paladins could notice her, could’ve made her change have sense and still being simple. Wait, now that I think about it a little more, it seems like the Paladins have a better eye than military forces at this point.
2. Pidge felt awful because she loved her long hair and cut it.
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 I can’t deny that Pidge didn’t even seemed comfortable taking a big and risky desition like this. This also brings my comprehension of people thinking that this is the only option she had. Because it seemed like that, and they have their reasons. She looked like she didn’t want to do this and it’s sad to not see why she taked this decision specifically.
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I think, however, this argument is actually omitting other reasons completely justifyable to Pidge's feelings that are also according to her story and the flashbacks. 
The situation implies even more than this point. It implies her identity. Along with how she dressed, it also includes every part of herselft, all she was, her whole life was going to change for who knew how long. Her life at school, her hobbies on Earth, and even her interactions with her mom which also were going to cease.
A teenager took the decision to go to an academy alone just to then travel to the space to find her family and not telling her mom anything about it. She also had the probability to die out there without finding anything.
Another reason to be worried like Pidge, it’s the fear of being recognized one way or another. If that happens, possibilities of finding Matt or her father could decrease due to the time they could’ve been out. They were supposed to be “missing”, how long could they survive if they were alive? If Iverson catches, it would’ve been more difficult for her to enter again, even if she could have. They were going to increase the security and make sure more than usual to prevent her from getting into the Garrison so easily.  The more difficult it becomes to find her family, the more time it takes in order to succeed and find it alive.
It can be more okay to me if they mentioned.
Please, remember that Pidge also has more important objective behind and also has to do with this.
3. The comparison with Mulan.
I... I guess I understand how people felt bad because of how Pidge "left behind her feminity of her gender" just two enter to it, imaginating how hurt she had while cutting her hair. Also, the comparison is viable if we think about the disguise, which is the strongest connection I could find, however, some factors like the personal reasons and the ambientations were omitted again. 
Other kinds of people can also see the purpose in both characters:  «Articulate a new vision of the female hero, question and scoff at social conventions and interrogate, through the deconstruction of gender binarisms, the precepts by which we build and order our reality», or at least, it seems so. Both characters are shown like female role models in positions where men are usually placed.
However, the characters have specific differences one from another. Specially if we talk about the personal experiences they have.
For Mulan, it was a higher necesity, and It had to do with her gender, because of historical and cultural instances. A man of every family had to be recluted and her father had to go even though he was sick. It was a crucial obligation serving the army. Mulan was in disagreement and decided to serve in the military, but her only way she could do this is not only changing her identity, but also her gender, trying to keep herself undercover. It’s  also important to point out the way she couldn’t fit with the norms of her gender at that time. If we take the point of Pidge being comfortable with who she was and avoid mentioning her current changes as time passed in the show, we could see a difference between them. 
In other comparison, Pidge had to disguise herself in order to be unrecognizable; it wasn’t exactly a gender problem, because her main  purpose was to hide her identity, and her ambientation, unlike Mulan, was stable enough to disguise as any person of any gender in order to enter to the Garrison. The main objective was remaining long enough to find Matt. In this case we see Pidge cutting her hair and using Matt’s glasses instead of using a more elaborated disguise that can succesfully pass undercover, which is less convincent, taking into consideration, aspects like her face and eyes, enough to make her look suspitious.
The differences are in the ways each character reach a reason to disguise and the resources that let them to it; the way they act over the circumstances. Maybe it’s something that you know, this point seems irrelevant if we talk about the common factor that makes people compare them, however, this is used not just to make a simple and compelling comparison, but as a strong argument in order to make people who desagree look like they don’t have any other option. They can’t see Pidge as a Tomboy even if the show already has some hints to it (and let’s not talk about her at the end of season 8 ). 4. Clothes and gestures
Some people bring the argument to the table that Pidge is girly because she wore a dress. I don’t know about you, but I guess there’s more muliebrity than just wearing a dress. Many of Pidge’s  gestures seemed to be from neutral to male (of course, with some exceptions already seen to enfazise the fact that she’s a girl after all). If we consider the “gender roles” again, Pidge is not much of a character atached to them. In fact, after the flashbacks, going back to who she was didn’t even seem as important as it should be. The character never mention anything about it again, letting me know how low her interest was; her clothes changes aren’t so femenine and is focused of things  men are usually interested while being a girl, not to mention the typical “smart anime boy gesture”, and the different tones of her voice and their variants sound noticely more agressive  compared to characters like Ezor or Allura.
5. (And last one, I hope) Sexual orientation?
It’s been days and months since I started to write this post, so, I really wanted to cover some things and not post things like this in a while. 
I’m not in favor of headcanons forcely being above the facts in the show. I don’t have any problem with people’s imagination or creating a personal sexual orientation to their favorite character, It can hapen and I guess I’ve done that myself; however, Pidges sexual orientation is not confirmed. This can go for both:
a) People who believe Pidge is lesbian/asexual/pansexual/bisexual...
b) People who believe Pidge is straight until otherwise is shown.
For both kinds of people, the character simply doesn’t have almost anything related to it confirmed, specially because the writers gave her character another focus. In this case, literaly every suspition is posible or imposible, depending of how good the writing is, because there’s no negativity or confirmation behind it. The character could be as lesbian, asexual or others, as completely straight. There’s no limitation in this section. It all depends of the ideas, the writing and execution you want to give it. I’ve been reading the nonconformity of the people in this subject. I think both sides have veru extreme solutions, even though there’s no actually a “truth” in there. -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
People always are going to have different perceptions and are allowed to create new ones and let their imagination go, and that’s one of the greatest thing in fandoms, however, things can go a little bit extreme when people become angry and not tolerate other persons opinion. That’s why I’m writing this. I’ve read some comments telling others what to think and how to think, or what kind of headcanons they should have, and even though English is not my first language, I guess there are some things that needed to be said. There are people like that in fandoms in general, but this thing about Pidge has called my atention long time ago.
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tabletopinfinities · 5 years
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7th Sea
Swashbuckling and Sorcery Piracy and Exploration Espionage and Intrigue Welcome to the New World
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What’s the premise?
7th Sea is a world of swashbuckling fantasy, in a setting that’s very much like our Earth circa the Age of Sail, but filled with sorcery, monsters, and the mysterious ruins of a pre-human civilization. The core book focuses on Théah, the 7th Sea world’s equivalent of Europe, which is currently recovering from a bloody war between the traditional Vaticine Church and the reformist Objectionists and emerging into a new age of nationalism and humanism. Monarchs play games of espionage while secret societies work behind the scenes. Traders sail to the New World in search of exotic treasures and pirates follow in their wake. Some nations are even beginning to experiment with a bold new idea - democracy.
The technology level of Théah is slightly higher than our world’s was at the time, thanks partly to a Vaticine Church that values knowledge and discovery and also partly to ancient Syrneth artifacts that are centuries beyond human science. Sorcery and magic are not uncommon - but are primarily the domain of the nobility. Spirits, monsters, and other beings haunt the wild places, and any given folktale has a chance to be true.
The characters you play are all very explicitly Heroes, doing noble deeds to fight tyrannical Villains. The world of 7th Sea has a lot of problems besieging it right now - the looming specter of the Castillian Inquisition, the depredations of the Atabean Trading Company, the tyranny of l’Empereur du Montaigne, just to name a few. It’s a world on the brink of becoming something wonderful - it just needs a few good heroes to show it the way.
You���d like it if you’re into: The Princess Bride, Pirates of the Carribean, Zorro, The Three Musketeers, Brotherhood of the Wolf, old Errol Flynn movies
Why do you recommend it?
If you’ve ever wanted to swing from chandeliers, plunder treasure, cut feathers off caps with a swish of your rapier, and woo the fair maiden / handsome prince / other attractive individual, 7th Sea is the game for you. Magic and strange technology add a great twist to an otherwise straightforward historical fantasy.
7th Sea, the new 2nd edition in particular, is one of the most inclusive and welcoming mainstream RPGs out there. Women and people of color can be characters of all kinds, and queer, trans, and nonbinary characters are littered throughout the books and accepted within the setting itself. That, plus the emphasis on your character being a capital-H Hero, make 7th Sea an unapologetically wholesome game. It’s lighthearted and silly, while still allowing for serious dramatic moments.
Plus your character practically cannot die, no matter how much you screw up.
What are the rules like?
The core idea of 7th Sea is that you will almost always succeed at what you’re trying to do. You’re a Hero, after all. If you don’t roll well enough, though, your success might not be total. The way they mechanically represent this is very narrative-driven and plays quite differently from the standard RPG.
There’s three kinds of rolls to make in 7th Sea. The most basic, the Risk, is when your character is trying to bypass a simple obstacle. For instance, they might be trying to escape from a burning room. You decide what your character’s Approach to that will be, and what combination of skills and traits to use. In this case, they might use Finesse + Athletics to dodge and and jump over falling beams, or perhaps Brawn + Weaponry to use their axe to hack a hole in the wall, or even Panache + Tempt to bat their eyes at the fleeing henchman and tell him that if he rescues you, you’ll surely owe him a favor. Then you roll a d10 for each point you have in the chosen trait and skill. If you’re using a skill you haven’t used yet this scene, roll another die, and if you take the time to describe your action a little, roll a further die. Each set of dice you can add up to 10 is one success - here called Raises.
All it takes to succeed in the Risk is a single Raise. The catch is: there will always be Consequences and Opportunities associated with the Risk. You’ll need to spend additional Raises to either avoid the Consequences or activate the Opportunities. In this scenario, the consequences might be something like “take 3 damage from fire” - and each Raises you spend towards that will remove 1 damage from that. Or perhaps you’ll need to keep your clothes free of ash so you can sneak into the ballroom after like nothing happened. For Opportunities, it might be something like “grab the important-looking letter on the table before it burns” or “lead the poor henchman along enough that he switches sides.” So success or failure is never just binary - unless you roll really well, you’ll have to make some choices about what the effects of your actions on the story will be.
The two other kinds of rolls work in a very similar way. Action Sequences represent fights, chases, and the like, and Dramatic Sequences are extended challenges like sneaking into the castle or snooping around town to find information on the wicked viscount’s plans. You make your Approach, and then each character gets to spend Raises from their pool to take actions. As before, all you need is a single Raise to do something, but if a Hero and a Villain are trying to contest, whoever spends more Raises on it wins. During Action Sequences, you can spend Raises to do damage - yes, this means anything can be used as an attack skill if you’re creative enough (“I use Wits + Scholarship to whip up a gas grenade and throw it at her!”). Action Sequences can have Consequences and Opportunities just like a Risk can, including Brute Squads, which are the nameless flunkies your hero mows through without a second thought. A single point of damage takes out a single brute, but any brutes left alive get to deal damage at the end of the round. There might also be events that happen at certain points in the Action Sequence once everyone’s down to a certain number of Raises - the storm hits the ship at 4 Raises, and it hits the rocks and starts to sink at 1.
Dramatic Sequences are the same but paced over a more extended period of time, and are more about seeing how far you can get in your task before you run out of Raises. As before, each Raise you spend lets you change the scene in some way - climb over the castle wall, for instance. Next, you might have to spend a Raise to sneak past the guards, then to steal the jailer’s key. If you run out, though, you’ll be unable to change the scene any further - so after you’ve rescued your ally from jail and you hear someone’s footsteps approaching, if you don’t have another Raise left to hide you may just have to fight your way out.
Every character is pretty tough and can take a fair amount of damage before going down. For every 5th point of damage you take (or any time you get hit with a firearm, because those things are nasty), you take a Dramatic Wound. Your first Dramatic Wound actually helps you - just like the hero in an adventure story, you become driven to succeed and get a bonus on all your rolls. For your second Dramatic Wound, the tables start to turn and now all the Villains get a bonus on their roles. For the third, you get an even bigger bonus as your heroic determination kicks in - and then at the fourth, you become helpless. Not dead, just unconscious or incapacitated - it takes an explicit act from the GM to actually kill you.
Finally, there’s Hero Points. These work a bit like an expanded version of Inspiration from D&D 5E, and other similar mechanics. Basically, you can spend them for bonuses to your roll, a bonus to someone else’s roll, to fight on for a round after you’re incapacitated, and a few other things. You can also spend them to activate your Knacks, which are big character abilities with effects like “knock out an entire Brute Squad in one go” or Come Hither, which lets you lure a character into another room and return without them… no rolling required. Everyone gets one Hero Point to start, and you can earn more by acting in accordance with your character. You can also get one at any time by choosing to fail a roll - so if you think the odds are overwhelming, or you just want to see what happens if your character gets captured or can’t stop the villain’s plan from succeeding, you can just say “I fail” and bank up another Hero Point for the challenge ahead.
What’s my character like?
Your character is a Hero. They come from a particular Nation that gives them some bonuses, and they have two Backgrounds that tell you what their professions are/were and give them some bonus skills and Advantages, as well as determining what in-character actions give them Hero Points. They have a Virtue and a Hubris, each based off the Major Arcana of the tarot (or Sorte deck, in this world). The Virtue is a powerful special ability they can activate, and the Hubris is a character flaw that you can get a Hero Point for roleplaying. Beyond that, there are no classes per se - the character is yours to define as you see fit. Advantages are the main way of customizing your character and giving them special abilities.
You can choose to take Advantages join a Swordsman School or take Sorcery from your nation of origin. Swordsman Schools give you the option to do some fancy Maneuvers in combat, which let you hit for lots of damage, parry opponents’ attacks, etc, as well as a unique Maneuver for each school based on its preferred weapons and fighting style. The difference in combat effectiveness between a swordsman and a non-swordsman is huge, so if you’re planning on making a character that excels at combat, swordsman is definitely the way to go. You also get to be a part of the Swordsman’s Guild, who are legally allowed to challenge people to duels.
The Core Rules present character creation options only for the primary Théan nations - if you want to play a character from another culture, you’ll need the appropriate book. (See What books should I get?, below.)
Avalon, seat of the Triple Crown, is a green and enchanted land touched by the Sidhe - elves, faeries, goblins, and other creatures. The Sidhe are sometimes beautiful, sometimes hideous, always inhuman, and frequently downright nasty. Queen Elaine recently ascended to the throne after recovering the Graal, throwing off the yoke of Montaignois conquest and bringing the Sidhe back to our world - but now the Sidhe are starting to encroach on human lands. This is a land of faerie tales, and those don’t always end happily.
The other two nations in the Triple Crown are the Highland Marches, a craggy land of proud clans and chieftains, and Inismore, a land with a fondness for stories, whiskey, and a good bar fight. Neither of these two is necessarily happy about being part of the Triple Crown, and there’s a growing separatist movement looking to break the alliance, no matter how much gunpowder and blood it takes.
Avalon’s Sorcery takes the form of becoming one of the Knights of Ellilodd, each one the embodiment of an ancient knight of legend. In exchange for taking a vow to the Graal to be a righteous protector of justice, you can tap into that knight’s legendary powers. Should you break your vow, you’ll need to atone before you can regain your powers, however.
Castille is a sun-dappled nation with a deeply passionate people. They recently held off a Montaignois invasion at dear cost, only to fall under the yoke of the Inquisition. Cardinal Verdugo controls their young king like a puppet while he conducts a reign of terror across Théah aimed at rooting out anything he deems heresy. Castille is the seat of the Vaticine Church, and its people are often devoutly religious and very highly educated thanks to the nation’s excellent universities.
While Castille has no Sorcery in the Core Rules, Nations of Théah, Volume 1 introduces Alquimia as an option, letting you invent various alchemical and technological marvels and advancing along a path of self-improvement towards a grand goal.
Eisen was the center of the fighting between Vaticine and Objectionist, and it left the land a blood-soaked mudhole full of traumatized survivors, divided between small princedoms, some of which seek to unite the nation under their banner. Worse, something about the concentrated misery has spawned literal Horrors, monsters of all shapes and sizes that roam the land and prey on innocent victims. But the people of Eisen are a grim, determined lot, and the nation’s not ready to give up without a fight.
Eisen’s Sorcery, Hexenwerk, is a particularly gruesome art dedicated to refining potions and unguents from dead bodies - and then consuming them to gain powers to fight undead horrors and other foes. Hexen are often hunted down as grave-robbers, but they do what they have to do to survive and stop the Horrors.
Montaigne is often considered the center of Théan culture, or at least the Montaignoise themselves certainly think so. Their courts set the standard for fashion across the continent, and their nobles throw the most lavish parties. Unfortunately, all of this has been built on the backs of the peasantry, who have been pushed to their limit by harsh taxes and conscription to serve in L’Empereur’s frivolous wars. L’Empereur sits on his grand throne, surrounded by an endless party of gilded nobility, oblivious to the whispers of revolution coming from below.
Montaignois Sorcery is passed down through noble bloodlines, but it’s quite ungenteel. The art of Porté lets you rip bleeding holes in reality and slip through the space between to walk to other places, or to pull objects out of thin air. Just never open your eyes while you’re in-between.
The Sarmatian Commonwealth is actually two lands under a single crown - the cosmopolitan Reczezpospolitans, and the more traditional Curonians, who still venerate the old spirits. Recently, the king, disgusted with gridlock in the houses of parliament, made a proclamation of Golden Liberty. This made everyone in Sarmatia was now a noble with voting power, marking the beginning of a chaotic experiment in democracy. Some Sarmatians seek to lead their country into a populist new era, some try to take advantage of the chaos to seize power, and others, resentful of the new order, plot to depose the aging king.
Sanderis, the Sarmatian Sorcery, is about making deals with devils. Dievai, to be more precise. They’ll do anything you wish, from snuffing a candle up to unleashing a firestorm that destroys an entire city - provided that you are willing to pay their price.
Ussura is a massive, wild country with long winters and sparse civilization. The Ussurans are pragmatic and hardy folk, and highly superstitious with good reason - spirits both good and evil thrive in these lands. The greatest among them, Matushka, watches over the Ussuran people like an overprotective mother, rewarding the just and punishing the wicked. The Czar recently died under suspicious circumstances, leaving the nation divided by two potential successors -  one dedicated to modernization, the other seeking to preserve the old ways.
Ussura’s form of Sorcery, Dar Matushki, are the gifts of Matushka herself - often given as the reward for overcoming painful lessons. Those who fall out of favor with her will earn her wrath, however.
Vestenmannavenjar, another cold northern country, is a land of fierce raiders and warriors who have completely reinvented themselves as a modern nation. In recent years they presented the world with a standard, unified currency - the Guilder - that has come to dominate world trade and finance, all to the benefit of the Vesten, of course. Rather than the High King of olden times, they are ruled by the Vendel League, made up of the heads of all the various trade guilds. Now, rather than conquest and pillage, they extract their plunder from fees and interest. Some Vesten mourn for what used to be, a nation of honor and blood replaced by silver and greed.
Vesten has no Sorcery in the core book, but Nations of Théah, Volume 1 introduces Galdr, a magic derived from runic words of power. Each rune grants strengths tempered with weaknesses, to maintain the balance.
Vodacce is a nation of intrigue, divided up between seven Merchant Princes who constantly scheme against each other. Like Castille, they are devoutly Vaticine, but they have a very unorthodox interpretation of sin, believing that it is better to indulge yourself than let desire fester in your heart.
Vodacce’s magic, Sorte, is the exclusive province of women. The Sorte Strega can manipulate the strands of Fate itself, and can be distinguished by their long black veils, to hide the glazed look they get when manipulating destiny. Too much tugging on the strands risks them lashing back out at you, however, giving you bad luck at the worst times. The men of Vodacce all fear the power of Sorte, and keep the women of Vodacce oppressed and illiterate.
In addition to being from a particular nation, your Hero can also join a secret society. In 1st edition, all of these societies had hidden secrets to them that were presented in their own books. Given that some of the 2nd edition versions differ radically from their older incarnations and the book devoted to secret societies hasn’t come out yet, it’s unknown if those secrets still hold true, or if they hold the keys to different world-shattering truths.
Die Kreuzritter are a former order of crusader knights, since gone underground. They hunt monsters and defend the innocent, using the legendary metal called Dracheneisen, which has great powers against monsters and the supernatural.
The Knights of the Rose and Cross, one of the few secret societies with a significant public face, publicly fight injustice and protect the society’s Patrons. There are rumors of hidden occult secrets only revealed to the initiated.
The Invisible College are a loosely-affiliated band of scholars, artists, scientists, and philosophers who seek to preserve knowledge from those who would destroy it - especially the forces of the Inquisition. They have access to devices on the cutting edge of Théan science.
The Brotherhood of the Coast are pirates who have banded together under a shared code of honor, providing protection to ships that pay them and plundering those that don’t.
Močiutės Skara, “Grandmother’s Shawl,” is in its public face an order of nice old ladies who tend to the victims of disasters and wars, and are welcomed across Théah. In private, however, they seek to prevent wars and achieve peace through any means necessary.
Los Vagobundos are dedicated to upholding the reigns of good monarchs and overthrowing unjust ones. Their leader, the masked man called “El Vagobundo,” can appear many places at once - but unbeknownst to outsiders, it’s always a different member under the mask, channeling the power of the legend.
The Rilasciare are anarchist free thinkers who oppose oppression and tyranny in all its forms, but especially seek to do away with the very concept of monarchy. Some accomplish their goals through pranks and subterfuge, others through bombs and daggers.
Sophia’s Daughters, a small branch of the Rilasciare, are more specifically dedicated to aiding the Fate Witches of Vodacce, spiriting them to safety in other nations, educating them in secret, and making strides towards liberation whenever possible.
What’s the campaign like?
In a game where the characters all play Heroes, there’s a strong focus on defeating Villains. Before you fight them directly, you have to defeat their Schemes, upon which they stake some of their influence. Stop the Scheme, and they lose what they wagered, otherwise, they gain back double their investment. Foil enough Schemes, and they’ll be dramatically weakened for the final confrontation. Thus, most campaigns are focused around a central Villain and their underlings that the Heroes can work their way through.
Each of your characters also has their own separate Stories to pursue, which is how the experience system works. You pick what story your Hero will follow, such as “avenge my father’s death,” figure out what benefit they get at the end of the Story, like “Weaponry 5,” and then figure out how many steps the story will have in the story based on what you want. Although you probably know the beginning step of the story (“find the name of the woman who killed my father”) and what the end will be (“I challenge her to a duel”), you and the GM can work together to figure out the most interesting twists along the way (“Step 3: I discover she was secretly my half-sister”). If you want, there’s nothing stopping you from making the ending a tragic one at the last minute, or even deciding that your Hero should fail so that they can be led into a future Story (“She defeated me into the duel and threw me into the sea - but not before she told me the real reason she killed my father!”) In between these main story points, the GM will also weave in their own side stories and recurring stories, which grant rewards in the same way as you complete them.
Odds are also good your party will get access to a ship at some point, this being a setting with an emphasis on seafaring. Ships have their own abilities based on where they were built and their history, and can gain new abilities as the party completes various types of adventures, like unlockable achievements. Players are encouraged to work with the GM and flesh out the ship’s NPC crew. Of course, the crew will also need to be paid regularly lest they turn mutinous.
What books should I get?
It should be noted that 1st edition and 2nd edition are radically different, both in rules and setting. While the 1st edition books are still useful as inspiration, most of the material in them isn’t canonical any more, and a good chunk of the setting is completely new to 2nd edition anyway. Frustratingly, there’s some characters in both editions that didn’t get described in the 2nd edition books on the grounds that they were already described in 1st edition. If you prefer rules that work like a more traditional RPG, 1st edition is probably more for you (and it also has cross-compatibility with the d20 system in its later supplements). Otherwise, stick to the 2nd edition books. You’ll need a copy of the Core Rulebook, and then the other books describe and provide character creation rules for the other nations and continents not described there.
Nations of Théah, Volumes 1 and 2 flesh out the western and eastern nations respectively, adding some more geographical and historical material as well as some new character rules suited for those nations.
Pirate Nations is very useful for a seafaring campaign, covering the various groups in the Atabean Sea, from pirate republics to native sea-monster hunting Rahuri, a slave colony that cast off its chains, and the villainous Atabean Trading Company. It also includes the Théan nation of Numa, once the cradle of Théan civilization.
The Crescent Empire introduces the Middle Eastern-inspired nations, flourishing under a new Caliph who banished her wicked brother from the throne. These five nations are united as one despite their differences, but loyalists to the old Caliph still plant seeds of dissent for his return.
The New World has the Central/South American continent of Aztlan, once ruled by Old Gods that caused a great cataclysm when they were overthrown that made the land itself shift and change. The Aztlani now venture into this uncharted territory to reclaim what they once had, balancing cultural independence against unifying the continent under one flag, whether by alliance or conquest, while wondering how long they can hold back the greedy Théans eyeing the continent’s treasures.
Lands of Gold and Fire presents the African continent, Ifri, home to several wealthy and highly advanced civilizations. They are under threat both from expansionist Théan powers and the Atabean Trading Company, whose campaign of slavery has empowered an ancient evil in the land.
Several other books are forthcoming for 2nd edition, including one with more information on the secret societies, and The Colonies, which will detail the North American continent. Khitai, the Asian continent, will have its own separate game system (called, appropriately, Khitai), with similar but slightly different rules.
What equipment do I need?
7th Sea uses d10s only, and you’ll want about 6-8 on hand per player, plus a decent stockpile for the GM. Sharing dice isn’t recommended here because it’s easier to keep the dice you rolled in front of you to count Raises during Action Sequences. You’ll also need some method of keeping track of Hero Points - poker chips work well, but you can get creative. Official 7th Sea versions of both are available.
There’s also the Sorte Deck, which makes a great in-universe prop (especially for Fate Witches), although you should note that it differs slightly from real-world tarot decks and has a few arcana cards that aren’t detailed even in the Core Rules. You could use it to guide your characters’ fates, or suggest the next step in their Stories.
Notecards are also helpful for tracking ongoing Stories.
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anotherenbyjourney · 6 years
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why now?
Something I was asked by my doctor during my assessment was: Why now? Why look to pursue surgery now? Why come out to everyone and make these changes now? I turn 30 in just over a month. I’m not a kid, or a teen anymore. Far from it. I suppose I should know who I am by now, should have had that figured out, but honestly do any of us ever really know who we are? Ever?
My entire life I’ve felt just... Odd. Weird. “Other” a lot of the time. Not just because I’m a nerd (that’s not helped lol), but I have never really fit in properly with the majority of your average girls or women. I felt the “odd one out” amongst my family who were predominantly female. In offices staffed with majority women, I felt like a complete outsider. I’ve very rarely “clicked” with girls and I get along a LOT easier and faster with guys. Any age, any background, any education level, getting along with guys was much smoother.
I put it down to “they just don’t “get” you”.  I didn’t get the same feeling with my friends, male or female. We shared enough of the same interests, had the same sense of humour, liked the same things etc. But that’s how it works right? The people you click and vibe with, you make friends with. Age was maybe also a factor in “not gelling” with other women. People also come from different walks of life. 
“You're not just a big weird freak, you’re just made from entirely different moulds, right? You can’t get along with everyone?”
It’s only within the last few years that I started finding out about gender issues, nonbinary specifically. The more and more I read into it, the more stats and facts and studies I absorbed, the more little bits of information, the more RELATABLE AS HELL the stories I was reading were getting... the more I started to consider; Hey wait a minute. This is all making FAR too much goddamn sense.
It took a while for things to start adding up to the point I started making changes in my life or thinking differently about myself. All the things I was learning, and how they related to me and the way I think and feel, started to change my outlook on myself. About 2 and a half years ago, I started thinking to myself: “Right. I’m Nonbinary. This is me!” I tried it on, entirely privately, non-verbally. It’s how I thought about myself. And it... fit. It worked. It felt right.
Some time later, I told my husband and a few very close friends “hey I think I might be nonbinary” or at the very least “I’m having very weird Gender Feelings you guys...” The ability to talk it out and bounce ideas and feelings off my friends, some of whom are trans themselves, has been utterly invaluable. Last year I made more baby steps towards accepting this strange new-but-not-new part of myself, that I’d managed to finally put a name to. I told a few more people. I would drop it into casual convo. I made posts around pride week and national coming out day. The binder I’d bought to wear for cosplay purposes, I started wearing on a more casual everyday basis. I -embraced- my masculine swings a lot more often and dressed how I wanted to dress, moved how I wanted to move, spoke how I wanted to speak. The way that felt most natural at that time. I stopped worrying I “looked super butch” or “like a lesbian” when I looked and dressed more masculine.
And it all felt - really good-.
Imagine you’ve gone the majority of your life, thinking like.. “theres just something not quite right here.” It’s nothing causing you physical pain.  There are no real symptoms you can put a finger on. “Not fitting in with women”, “not being into girl stuff”, “having body confidence and body image issues”, “liking to wear boys clothes/have short masc haircuts/wearing cologne/etc/etc/etc” were all just weird little facets of yourself you’d had to live with and feel weird and “other” about.
And then suddenly someone goes: hey that weirdness you’re feeling? There’s a name for that. You’re not just a freak! You’re not different all of a sudden, nothing has changed, but aaaall the stuff that made you “you”, makes a heck of a lot more sense now that you can put a name on it.
This is not “Who I Am Now”. This is Who I Have Always Been.
It all started to make sense. Everything. I wasn’t just weird. I didn’t have to worry about “looking like a man” anymore. My dysphoria made SENSE. It sucked ass, and still made me feel like shit, but it made sense! I’m not broken.
The biggest “click” and the thing that lit a real fire under me was New Years eve 2017. It was a themed party, and people were all in costumes. I went as a male character and wore my binder (I’m going to talk a bit about costuming as male characters later because this is also Important I think). I’d had a few drinks, and when it came time to take the costume off and get into something a bit more comfy after midnight (and because I was coming to the end of my binder time. I like to bind safely) I found that it was HEARTRENDINGLY UPSETTING... to take the binder off and “go back to being girl-me again”. I’d always been really sad after a solid weekend of dressing as a man for male costumes and having to “go back to normal” but this was like an intense version of that feeling. That I’d spent 29 years doing this, living with and putting up with “girl-me”. Like that version of myself wasn’t the real me at all. That I was facing another year, approaching thirty, and that this was going to be how things were for the rest of my life unless I did something about it.
January 2nd I sent out an email to my chosen doctor (I’d been researching it all for months at the back end of 2017 but done nothing about it) to try and book an appointment to pursue top surgery, which I told my husband about and we had a long discussion around. 
February 4th I came out to my mum and my two sisters who had a lot of questions but were incredibly supportive. They told me that “actually that makes a lot of sense...” considering my childhood, and while they were worried for me from a “this is a surgery you cannot come back from, I hope you’re sure” point of view, supported me there too.
Last month I went a lot more public with my gender and I’m trying to make more and more people aware of it, since I interact with large groups of varied people as part of cosplay and costuming. I’ve literally faced nothing but support (and questions of course, but I’ve got all the time in the world for supportive people who just want to understand things so they can better help and support their friends and others like me.)
It’s been thirty years. And I still have a long way to go. But I’ve honestly never been more comfortable within myself and with every babystep I’ve taken towards hacking my way out of this shitty little “desperately trying to conform to gender standards” chrysalis I’ve been trapped in for my entire life, the better I’ve felt.
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innuendostudios · 6 years
Video
youtube
Introducing a new, ongoing series about the rhetorical strategies of the far Right and how not to fall for them. You can make sure this series continues, and support all my other work, on Patreon.
Transcript below the cut.
Say, for the sake of argument, you run a modestly-successful YouTube channel, and, given the current political reality, you’re thinking of doing some videos on the Alt-Right. Say you’ve been trying to understand the Alt-Right for some time, and would like to do a series that tackles the big questions: What are the rhetorical strategies the Alt-Right uses to legitimize itself and gain power? How do these strategies work? Why do they work? How do we keep from falling for them? And, importantly, how do we catch ourselves when we start using them, too?
You’re thinking of calling this series The Alt-Right Playbook.
Setting aside that a lefty who makes a YouTube series with “Alt-Right” in the title will see their life go to hell, there are a three things you’d have to clarify from the get-go.
1. What is the Alt-Right?
For clarity’s sake, you’d have to tell people the Alt-Right is a pack of loosely-aligned groups and individuals that have existed for quite a while at the peripheries of American conservatism but have recently gained footholds in the the Republican Party proper. The term “Alt-Right” implies more or less what you think it would: positioning themselves as the young, edgy Nirvana to the antiquated Mötley Crüe of 70’s and 80’s conservatism. They seek to replace and critique the likes of Barry Goldwater and Ronald Reagan for being - let’s not mince words, here - not reactionary enough.
The Alt-Right - the people who adopt the label and those who just parrot their talking points - has high overlap with white supremacist think tank The National Policy Institute, Stormfront, and the Ku Klux Klan; Breitbart News and various sections of 4chan, 8chan, and Reddit; sections of the asshole atheist community; antifeminist YouTube; pick-up artists and rape apologists; the #NotAllMen, #AllLivesMatter, and #GamerGate crowds; and basically anyone who uses the terms “social justice warrior” or “virtue signalling” unironically. Not everyone in these groups is in the alt-right, but the alt-right traffics at the intersection between them. There’s a wide range of differing and frankly incompatible ideas on government and the social order among these groups, but as it gains power the Alt-Right is congealing into a somewhat cohesive ideology.
And the reason they matter at this moment in history is that, of all the people in the 2016 primaries, only one was the Alt-Right candidate, and, while not everyone who voted for him is in the Alt-Right, they are his base, his most ardent supporters, and they carried him all the way to the White House.
Next you’d want to clarify
2. why they’re called the Alt-Right.
“Alt-Right” is a term coined by National Policy Institute President, avowed white nationalist, and professional speed bag Richard Spencer. The term is meant as a euphemism, a way of painting a happy face on racism. And that’s not an opinion, one of the stated aims of Spencer’s organization is the removal non-whites from American society, and the purpose of rebranding white supremacy with a term like “alt-right” is so mainstream white people are not made to feel like racists when they vote for racist people with racist policies. So every time a journalist writes an article about the dapper fashion of the Alt-Right and doesn’t title it “lipstick on a white supremacist pig,” that journalist is being a coward, and treating a hate group with kid gloves basically because the hate group asked them to. So, uh, you might want to clarify why you put that euphemism in the title of your videos.
And, well, you’d have to explain that, while the Alt-Right is racist, they are not only racist. They’re also misogynist, antifeminist, Islamophobic, xenophobic, homophobic, transphobic, classist, ableist, authoritarian, and fiercely anti-intellectual. So if you just did a find-and-replace of each instance of “Alt-Right” with “white supremacist,” you’d actually be leaving a lot out. That’s not much of a defense for the term “Alt-Right” - it just paints a happy face on a bunch of horrible stuff -  but it’s useful to have a term for the whole cluster, and you don’t have the kind of internet pull where, if you coined your own term, anyone would know what you’re talking about.
So you’ll just have to promise not to use “Alt-Right” as a euphemism. When the Alt-Right is racist, you’ll have to call them racist. When the Alt-Right is homophobic, you’ll have to call them homophobic. If you’re stuck with their term, don’t use it the way they want you to.
Third, you’d have to cover
3. how to engage with the Alt-Right,
which is pretty straightforward: don’t.
The reasoning there may not be immediately obvious… especially if you, say, once devoted an entire video to the importance of talking to antifeminist hate mobs. So you’ll have to explain: you have, since then, learned how such conversations with the far Right often go, thanks to conversations with people who have more lived experience than you. If some guy on Twitter shoots his mouth off about how, for instance, only precious snowflakes would care about how many Black women are getting roles in Hollywood, maybe you push back on that. Maybe the conversation gets heated. Maybe you debunk his arguments, make your points, and he walks away in a huff.
For you, the interaction is over. But, for folks on the far Right, it’s often not. The far Right keeps mental lists of the people who represent the things they’re mad about. The symbol of liberal media, the symbol of video game feminism, the symbol of trans activism. (FYI these are usually women and people of color.) These people aren’t people to them, they’re icons for a thing. And the way they express anger about those things is to attack those people. So while you leave the argument and have a lie down, eat a sandwich, and feel better, he maybe vents his frustration by hacking the email of whomever represents Black women in Hollywood this week. This doesn’t happen every time, or even most times, but it happens reliably enough that, any time you try and debate with a reactionary, you are gambling with someone else’s safety.
The purpose of debating these people is not to change their minds, but to stem the flow of lies and bad rhetoric. The Alt-Right is always recruiting, always trying to expand its audience. There are ways to reach their intended audience without engaging them directly; it’s not only safer, it’s often more effective to cut out the middleman. Speak past them, not to them. If your purpose is to actually change the mind of a reactionary, well, doing that right is tricky, and doing it wrong can have serious consequences, so until you know for sure how to change the mind of a reactionary without fucking somebody else’s life up, do not engage.
Once you’ve got those three bits cleared up, the rest of your announcement is just housekeeping. Because there are a whole lot of topics to discuss, you’ll want to keep the videos short and to the point, and you’ll have to alternate them with videos more in your usual wheelhouse or else, after a few months of nothing but this, videos would just be five minute blocks of sustained screaming. You’ll try to release them in batches when the subjects interlock, but you’ll also try not to make any promises about your schedule.
You’ll have to clarify that anything you say, no matter how insightful or well-researched, is, ultimately, your opinion, and invite people to expand or push back on your ideas provided they can do so civilly.
And you’ll have to be clear that, if people are coming to you for solutions, you do not, as of now, have any. You’re not at solutions yet. Maybe you will be by the end of this. For now, all you know is, if you want to win, you have to understand why you’ve been losing. And if you want to defeat an enemy, you have to know how your enemy thinks.
Then, all that’s left to say is, Welcome to The Alt-Right Playbook.
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defendqueerpunks · 7 years
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Dear Piers Morgan: You Don’t Scare Us (CW: transphobia, violence, sexual assault)
Dear Mr. Morgan,
I can’t count the number of times I’ve been forced to see you on my TV. As a child of the late nineties, it seems to me as if you’ve been a constant presence on my screen while growing up, always ready to sound off about the latest liberal nonsense that gets your goat, be it women’s marches, Star Wars, or Kanye West. Love you or hate you, it seems like the British public just can’t get enough of hearing you complain.
Your latest gripe – gender neutrality, seemingly in all forms – is hardly an innovation. Us trans people have been bearing the brunt of media and political hatred and hysteria for the past few years, with mass debate over our rights to use changing rooms, to be children, to be feminists, and to pee without fearing reprisals. So it’s no surprise that you’ve chosen us as the focus of a televised campaign to persuade viewers that gender neutral school uniforms mean the end of the gender binary is nigh. (We only wish that were the case...)
But I’ve got to admit something to you, and I’m afraid you might not want to hear it. Your big bad baby boomer act? It’s getting old fast. And frankly, when it comes to trying to incite fear within the trans community with your belittling of the experiences of two nonbinary people, Fox Fisher and Owl, on live TV, well, it’s just not working.
You see, us trans folk have always (and by this I mean within the context of Western colonialism) been subject to hatred and ignorance. There’s not a single trans person I know who hasn’t been harassed for being who they are in public or online, whether they were forcibly removed from a bathroom, sent death threats, or had their address made public. Worse still are the high rates of physical and sexual violence within our community: one in two trans people is sexually assaulted in their lifetime, and the number of reported transphobic hate crimes in the UK tripled between 2011 and 2015.
In comparison to the dangerous and daunting reality of existing as a trans person, your mockery of genders such as two-spirit is nothing more than a papercut. It hurts, sure, but it’s little more than a nuisance when there’s a chainsaw trying to hack your arm off. Frankly, there are Twitter trolls far worse than anything you can throw at us.
As I'm sure you know by now, the day of your interview with Fox and Owl fell on IDAHoBIT - the International Day Against Homophobia, Biphobia, Intersexphobia, and Transphobia. All irony aside, this is a sad day for members of the LGBTQ+ community as we remember those who have been victims of hatred and bigotry and those who are still persecuted worldwide. In fact, it’s one of many such days we have scheduled every year. That our community has and continues to face so much violence is a source of heartbreak, trauma, and anger for many of us.
But here’s what we don’t do. We don’t fight fire with fire. We don’t meet our oppressors’ hatred with our own. We don’t launch campaigns intending to mock and invalidate cisgender, heterosexual people, or attempt to create a world in which a different group of people feel alone and unwanted. Instead, we turn to those around us, to give and receive comfort and to remind one another of our value.
When I logged into Facebook this morning, one day after your interview, I was not met with waves of despair from my trans friends at your blatant belittling of nonbinary people. Rather, my feed was filled with love and support for Fox and Owl – two beacons of hope for the mostly young trans people I surround myself with – and offers to inform cis friends and family members as to what trans experiences are truly like. In fact, many of them had nothing to say on the matter, instead posting about their cats, exams, or the upcoming General Election. No matter what happens, after all, our trans lives keep on going.
So, no, Piers, we’re not scared of you. And as for myself, I don’t want your performative attempts at understanding us, or your pity. We’re doing just fine on our own.
Yours sincerely,
A trans man
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the-toxic-radio · 7 years
Text
The Football Club and Georgia Maq @ The Workers Club *updated*
Foreword: This piece was written before sexual assault allegations were made against Ruby Markwell. I have removed the tags from this post, renounce all words of support, and will never feature Markwell, or her band in my writing again. 
“Girls, and non-binary people, to the front. Front of the crowd, front of the stage, front of the fucking industry.”. Ruby Markwell, emphatic in conversation with Oliver Moore of Honi Soit (Moore, 2017).
The Football Club are a folk-punk band from Footscray, Melbourne. Their frontwoman, Ruby Markwell, is a trans woman who is unafraid, and unwilling to be anything less than herself, for herself and her audience. On March 28th, 2017, the final night of a month long residency headlining at the Workers Club in Fitzroy, The Football Club brought the house down in a sold out show, towing Camp Cope frontwoman Georgia Maq along with them as a supporting act.
The Football Club are a dynamic, intelligent and exciting band, and their music is lighting the way for inclusivity and acceptance in Melbourne’s music scene. Much of Markwell’s lyrical content revolves around what it is like to live as a transexual woman in life in general, and in the music industry.
Her perspective, and the perspectives of female musicians like her are vital for the future of our beloved city’s local music scene. Throughout March of 2017, The Football Club performed weekly at a Workers Club residency in celebration of their new single, ‘Ivy’, an incredible song documenting the trials and tribulations that identifying as a woman can bring about when living in a society which refuses to support you.
“I know that I’m changing, And it might seem strange, And yeah, I understand if you don’t want to call me my name. Yeah, it makes me upset, but I try not to let it get to me, I’ve adjusted to the fact you’ll probably never call me Ruby.” Lyrics from The Football Club’s new single, ‘Ivy’.
The final night was a sell out show, and by the time all the supporting acts had performed and it was time for The Football Club to take the stage the band room was packed full to the walls. It felt more like a group hug, than a mosh though.
During her solo, supporting set, Camp Cope frontwoman Georgia Maq’s performance had the crowded room singularly enraptured, the entire crowd hanging on each of her words. Her songs are personal, but their focus is outward: they are a safe place, the comforting hand of a friend who knows, and empathises with what you’re going through. Nothing emphasised this more than her last song, ‘Not All Men’, a powerful anthem decrying the oft-used excuse that ‘not all men’ are to blame for sexism, a cowardly way of shifting blame and focus onto others which every woman in the room would have encountered before.
At the end of the day though, it only takes one man’s words to contribute to sexism, which is the crux of the ‘#ItTakesOne’ movement, a social media campaign aimed at ending sexual harassment at gigs, which was popularised by Camp Cope, along with other Australian artists Frenzal Rhomb, Courtney Barnett, and others.
In a video released by the band, they make clear the reasoning behind the hashtag: "We started this campaign to bring together artists to create a clear message about our stance on the abuse and assaults that continually arise at shows," (Maq, 2016). While in conversation with Liz Ainsley of Howl and Echoes, Camp Cope drummer Sarah Thompson said that “we are about making girls feel safe to be in the front row of our shows and want people to always feel comfortable telling us if things aren’t safe in the crowd.” (Ainsley, 2016).
The band have a well documented history of speaking about gender issues, and ‘#ItTakesOne’ is just one of many endeavors by Camp Cope to use their platform to prop up the women around them. In 2016, they announced plans to launch a zine featuring exclusively female talent, or as Georgia said "It's about women's voices getting heard and I want to pay the women… I want your voices heard and we have this fantastic platform to do it!.” (Camp Cope, 2016).
"Tonight a guy tried to touch me when I didn't want him to. I wrote this song because it's fucking hard being a woman in this world" -Sommer Tothill quoting Georgia Maq at a Camp Cope show (Tothill, 2016),
Songs like The Football Club’s ‘Ivy’, and Camp Cope’s hashtag, and zine ideas have come about in reaction to a music scene which prioritises the voices of men over women. In study on gender diversity within Australia’s music industry study, Triple J’s Hack discovered a number of startling, troubling truths about the state of our country’s music scene.
They discovered that just one in five registered Australian musicians is female, and the same ratio applying to the gender of employees at independent Australian labels (McCormack, 2016).
If this is true, independent music, being at the forefront of social change, is particularly at risk having an overly male perspective and vital female voices are even more likely to be obscured, before they are ever heard.
In talks with Andy Hazel of The Saturday Paper, Georgia Maq explains that everything they do is “revenge against everyone who told us we couldn’t do this our way. In some obvious and some very subtle ways, people have put us down and undermined us, as happens to women the world over.”.
It’s because of this that musicians such as The Football Club and Georgia Maq are so important. In an industry, and a world which wants to keep them in the dark, their lights shine too brightly, and grows brighter with each new defiance.
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tamboradventure · 4 years
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How to Travel Kazakhstan By Train
Posted: 11/18/19 | November 18th, 2019
Kazakhstan is a country I’ve always wanted to visit. In fact, I’ve always wanted to go to all the “Stans”. It’s the region of the world I probably want to visit the most. After having lived in Kazakhstan for 8 years, Doug Fears knows a thing or two about the country and how to navigate it. In this guest post, Doug offers some in-depth advice about how to travel around Kazakhstan by train!
Night spilled across the Kazakh steppe. The train’s steel wheels clickety-clacked below, gently prompting me to point toward a bowl of plastic-wrapped apples. Suddenly, my drunken dining car companion began gesticulating wildly while repeating his favorite, and perhaps only, English-language phrase, “No problem!” With a shake of the head and wave of the hand, this newfound friend seemed to dismiss all other apples as second-rate. Apples originated from Kazakhstan, after all, and we had just departed the city of Almaty, “the father of apples.” I simply had to try one. (It was delicious.)
Taking the train through Kazakhstan, the world’s ninth largest country, presents a changing cultural tapestry every time. Imagine a vast land, once secretive and closed to outsiders, where travelers can now experience an eclectic blend of Silk Road culture, offbeat Soviet-era history, and wide-open spaces spiced with warm Kazakh hospitality.
I’ve shared cabins with young soldiers, border police, language professors and martial artists, just to name a few. My favorite memories are the meals and card games enjoyed with these folks, even when I didn’t have a common language.
So forget everything about the movie Borat, and climb aboard as you browse ancient bazaars, ride the rails, and trek to pristine mountain lakes.
Planning Your Route
I suggest the following itinerary: flying into the capital, Nur-Sultan (formerly Astana) (airport code TSE), heading north to nearby Lake Burabay, taking a fast train back south to Karaganda, then an overnight classic train to Almaty in the southeast, with a possible extension to Turkistan (a city and region in the south of the country).
If you want to continue on in Central Asia, you can easily extend your trip from Almaty to see the gorgeous mountain vistas of nearby Kyrgyzstan or continue by train from Turkistan south to Uzbekistan.
The best time to go is between May and October, as northern Kazakhstan is blanketed in snow from November through April, with typical temps in the minus-20 range. Those wanting to snow ski or experience the excitement of New Year’s, the country’s biggest holiday, however, should consider a wintertime trip.
Visas are no longer needed for most visitors to Kazakhstan (for 30 days) and Kyrgyzstan (for 60 days), though advance visas are required for Uzbekistan, Russia, and China.
Buying Train Tickets
There are three types of trains: the fast business-class Talgo, regular long-distance trains, and regional electrics. Budget travelers should opt for regular trains for most trips. Regional electrics are generally slow and will be of limited use.
On regular trains — highly recommended for the best cultural experience — the two main classes are kupe (a four-person closed compartment with two upper and lower bunks) and platzkar (an open rolling dormitory holding 54 travelers on two-level bunks). The kupe is quieter and more private, but single women might want to choose the somewhat safer open platzkar, as they could be in a locked cabin with three men (no gender distinctions are made when making reservations). Also realize that not all trains run daily.
The new Kazakhstan e-ticket website is not easy to use: while there is an English menu, it requires you to enter destination cities using a Russian keyboard! Some foreign bankcards won’t work for payment, and even successful ticket purchases are often blocked by spam filters. However, there is an option to chat online with an English-language consultant who can help you find and purchase tickets.
My suggestion is to use this site as a reference to find train timetables and to purchase long-distance train tickets that are more likely to be sold out. You can use the helpful site Real Russia for international train ticket purchases (especially for traveling from Moscow to Central Asia).
Then go to a train station or train ticket office in the city, as some have kiosk machines that you can try. Another option is to write your destination and date on a piece of paper and present it to a ticket agent at a station or train office for help.
Once you have your ticket, the most important things to know are the date and time of departure, and wagon number. Check the posted signs in the station to find which platform number your train is on and walk toward that wagon — the conductor will check your ID and ticket and help you board.
Kazakhstan Costs
Traveling by train is much safer and enjoyable than by bus, and an incredible value for the long distances traveled. A standard overnight train ticket from Karaganda to Almaty will be about $9 USD for platzkar and $14 for kupe. By comparison, the business-class Talgo on the same route costs $25 in a four-berth kupe, but it does reduce travel time by six hours (and has much cleaner bathrooms!). A night train provides double value, serving as both bed and transport; they are cooler and more comfortable in the summer travel season too!
Local city buses are cheap, about $0.20 per ride, regardless of distance.
Hotel rooms in the city centers of Nur-Sultan and Almaty range from $30 to $50 per night with breakfast. Full apartments ($25/night) or shared guest rooms ($10/night) can be booked on Airbnb.
Food is also reasonably priced. I suggest finding a hotel with breakfast included on booking.com, eating picnic-style meals on the train, and enjoying a streetside café for other meals (grilled shashlik skewers, bread, salad, and drink for about $4), though if you can’t peel it or cook it, it’s best to forget it. And make sure to try the local apples!
Essential Kazakhstan Travel Hacks
Do reserve an upper bunk if you like relaxing onboard (lower bunks are shared during the daytime and used for communal meals), but you need to be reasonably fit to climb the mini-ladder.
Do bring a comfortable change of clothes to wear onboard (track suit, shorts, and T-shirt). It’s perfectly normal to ask others to step outside while you change.
Do bring extra food to share (tea/coffee, instant noodles, sausage, cucumbers, bread, biscuits, apples, sweets). Note: there is always a steaming samovar of hot water in each car for making tea or noodles.
Do pack a small train kit (mug, fork/spoon/knife, toilet paper, plate, wet wipes, plastic sandals, collapsible hand fan, deck of cards, bottled water).
Do take your street shoes off when entering a train compartment.
Do plan your bathroom visits, as the toilets are locked about 15 minutes before and after station stops (read the timetable posted in each wagon).
Do take some small gifts from your home country (magnets, key rings) to share.
Don’t buy unsold seats from touts lurking around stations — I’ve been stuck sharing a four-berth kupe with six people plus a giant-screen TV!
Don’t get scolded for lying on a bare mattress, but don’t pay extra for sheets and towels in kupe class. They are now included in the kupe ticket fare, but beware you may be awakened very early by the conductor collecting them on overnight trains!
Don’t be bullied by transport police or immigration officials at borders — show your passport and ticket and nothing more.
Don’t miss your stop, get stranded on the platform buying ice cream, or, above all, be forced to jump off a moving train!
Best Kazakhstan Train Routes
Because of the challenges with the ticketing website, I’ve listed the most helpful train routes for getting around. Note that all of these run daily.
While northbound trains from Nur-Sultan stop at Borovoye/Shchuchinsk, it might be easier to take a shared van or minibus for the short 2.5-hour trip. Just listen or ask for “Borovoye” at the Nur-Sultan-1 train station, where vans wait to fill up and leave throughout the day. You can do the same if heading directly south from Nur-Sultan to Karaganda, as a new tollway has opened, cutting the travel time between these two major cities to two hours, although all Nur-Sultan-to-Almaty trains also stop there. Note that both Nur-Sultan and Almaty have two train stations in different parts of the city — make sure you go to the right one!
Train #031 from Almaty to Semey in the northeast traces the historical “TurkSib” route — from here you can head east to explore the Altay Mountains or continue north into Russia to connect with the legendary Trans-Siberian route.
Route
Train No.
Departs
Arrives
Cost
Nur-Sultan-1 – Borovoye (Lake Burabay)
705 Talgo
07:56
10:04
$13 (4p kupe)
Borovoye – Karaganda
706 Talgo
18:40
23:41
$14 (4p kupe) $16 (2p)
Nur-Sultan NurlyZhol – Karaganda Almaty-1
010
20:10
23:22 14:40+1
$7platzkar $10kupe $18platzkar $28kupe
Almaty-1 – Nur-Sultan NurlyZhol
009
17:38
12:34+1
$18 (platzkar) $28 (kupe)
Almaty-2 – Turkistan
071
21:08
10:47+1
$18 (kupe)
Almaty-2 – Semey
031 Talgo
13:25
07:52+1
$24 (kupe)
Note: +1 means “arriving the following day”; p = persons
What to See Along the Way
The major cities of Nur-Sultan, Karaganda, and Almaty are all on the main rail line and make both good stopovers and bases for exploring the surrounding natural and historical sites. Other off-the-beaten-track locations, such as the Baykonur rocket base and Altay Mountains, require special permission and advance planning. Here’s an overview of the major destinations:
Nur-Sultan, formerly Astana) – one of the world’s youngest capital cities, a futuristic Tomorrowland-esqe blend of gleaming buildings, shopping centers, and sculpted monuments.
Lake Burabay (formerly Borovoye) – a scenic, forested lake resort just 2.5 hours north of Nur-Sultan, featuring a wide range of accommodations and attractions.
Karaganda – Kazakhstan’s “third city,” with its leafy wide boulevards, is a good base for exploring Soviet-era history, particularly the museum of political repression at nearby Dolinka, one of the largest labor camps in the Gulag system.
Almaty – Central Asia’s most cosmopolitan city. The stunning backdrop of the Tien Shan Mountains frames this busy business center, a great base for making day trips to the nearby mountains, the skate/ski center at Medeu/Chimbulak, and the red rock Charyn Canyon.
Turkistan – Kazakhstan’s holiest site, and the country’s best place to see Silk Road architecture and tile work.
Baykonur Cosmodrome – the world’s most active launch site for manned space missions. Rocket enthusiasts will need to book well in advance with an agency like Nomadic Travel Kazakhstan to try and see a launch.
The Far Northeast – Well off the beaten path, Semey, Ust-Kamenogorsk, and the pristine Altay Mountains are in a beautiful region worth the extra effort to see. Visiting the sensitive border zone or former Polygon nuclear test site will require special permits and advance planning.
***
As a child of the Cold War era, I recall hiding under my desk during drills to the sound of air-raid sirens, as we lived in genuine fear of nuclear war. I never dreamed I would visit the big blank spots on the map labeled “USSR,” especially the Siberian steppe and Central Asia.
Nowadays, with internet communication and open borders, an amazing opportunity awaits to wander across these once-forbidden zones, sharing goodwill and learning something too.
And one final tip: make sure to buy apples before you board the train! Though I only visited the train’s dining car once, I did purchase the pack of shiny apples that evening, munching on what I figured was a true local delicacy. The next morning when unpacking, though, one lazily rolled across the table, revealing a surprise sticker reading “Product of USA”!
Douglas Fears has always loved everything about trains, boats, and maps. After running a marathon on every continent and working as a computer consultant for 20 years, he moved to Kazakhstan and spent 8 years working in education and administration. He currently lives on the Black Sea and spends his time reading, mentoring young people, helping his wife teach English and writing funny travel stories for his blog Rails, Whales and Tales.
Book Your Trip: Logistical Tips and Tricks
Book Your Flight Find a cheap flight by using Skyscanner or Momondo. They are my two favorite search engines because they search websites and airlines around the globe, so you always know no stone is being left unturned.
Book Your Accommodation You can book your hostel with Hostelworld as they have the largest inventory. If you want to stay somewhere other than a hostel, use Booking.com, as it consistently returns the cheapest rates for guesthouses and cheap hotels. I use them both all the time.
Don’t Forget Travel Insurance Travel insurance will protect you against illness, injury, theft, and cancellations. It’s comprehensive protection in case anything goes wrong. I never go on a trip without it, as I’ve had to use it many times in the past. I’ve been using World Nomads for ten years. My favorite companies that offer the best service and value are:
World Nomads (for everyone below 70)
Insure My Trip (for those over 70)
Looking for the best companies to save money with? Check out my resource page for the best companies to use when you travel! I list all those I use to save money when I travel — and they will save you time and money too!
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Buck
GENERAL
Name: Buck I could imagine that this isn’t his real name or at least not “really his name”. One idea is that he’s in fact called Adrian de Buck but noone uses this name anymore. There was also a real guy named Adriaan de Buck of whom I try to find out more to see if this would be a cool telling name or something.
Alias(es): Bug, Bugboy Not quite sure about this. But since my acc is named amdukiasthebugboy and yours is named voidfan we could have a nice little backstory here
Gender: Male (Cis) I simply see no reason in making him trans or nonbinary or anything like that. He just doesn’t feel like a LGBT* character.
Age: 28 In fact he could be anything between 20 and 35 but I think making him close to thirty is the best in between solution
Place of birth: The town in which the story takes place I’d say we make up a fictive town which only exists in the future?
Spoken languages: A future form of english I think language will develop until then so I’d say there is a new language but it’s based on english. Maybe we could see if we find some kind of slang just as the one used in “Clockwork Orange”.
Sexual orientation: Asexual (Heterosexual but no sex-drive) As said he doesn’t feel like a LGBT* character. I don’t see a point in starting an ace-discourse here, fact is Buck doesn’t count himself as LGBT* he just noticed that his sex-drive vanished after some time of living as a cyborg.
Romantic orientation: Aromantic (Heteroromantic) Same as which sexual orientation. But I think he didn’t even notice until know.
Occupation: Technician Assisstant In Fact he’s something like an humanoid syntheziser or something like that. I feel like he’s also able to control spotlights and stuff like that but only if he got connected with them before (with something like bluetooth etc.)
APPEARANCE
Eye color: Yellow As a red haired person he most likely had light eyes before his surgery and I’d like to stick to green or grey. The yellow is some kind of sulfur-like and his eyes most likely glow a little.
Hair color: Dark Red/Brownish Red He has really long dread locks which hide most of the wires who are connected with his head. He didn’t cut his hair since the age of 12 or something and wears them as dreads since about 5-10 years. Also he really likes his hair color and never died his hair.
Height: 175 centimetres His height is something he really hates. Most of his family are about 10 centimetres taller I guess and he has some insecurities about being that short but thanks to his big mouth most people won’t comment on his height too much.
Scars: Several Scars I have to think about where they are and why he got them. I think he has no huge ones but some have to be there.
Burns: Maybe I’d really like the thought of him having a burn but I still need to think about that.
Overweight: No I think he’s not a body builder or anything but he has some muscles and his BMI is a little close to overweight than to underweight.
Underweight: No Look above
FAVOURITE
Color: Yellow, Orange, Red He loves bright and burning colors but he would never wear them
Hair color: Dark Red / Blonde On himself he loves his own haircolor but he used to have a thing for blonde women
Eye color: Green & Blue He might really likes his yellow eyes but he’d sometimes prever his old color again
Entertainment: Raves, Parties, Concert He is noone who would go to a bar to sit down and have a drink, he always needs a dance floor and even if he seems to be a really calm person he’s absolutely into Rave parties and aggressive dance styles
Pastime: Smoking, messing around with technical stuff Boredom turned him into a terrible chain smoker. Also he always has to touch everything that has to do with sound or light technics. He has no idea what he’s doing exactly but he loves to figure out how things work.
Food: Anything pistachio flavoured Honestly, he lives of that kinda stuff. No matter if salted & roasted or in form of icecream.
Drink: Beer with Coke Not quite sure about that but I think it suits him
Books: // He always hated books
HAVE THEY
Passed university: No I’m pretty sure he stopped after high school because he just doesn’t gave a fuck
Had sex: Yes He actually was some kind of a fuckboy or something I guess. Well not really fuckboy he never lied to any of the girls he had sex with. He only never was into relationships or something
Had sex in public: Yes If parties count as public places. May he had even sex in school but I doubt that
Gotten pregnant: No Obviously not lol
Kissed a man: Yes I think he sometimes kissed a friend of his when he was drunk but it was just for fun and they never assumed there would be more
Kissed a woman: Yes Several actually
Gotten tattoos: Yes He has several in his face and his joints. I don’t think they have a huge meaning but he thinks they are cool and most of them only visible in black light
Gotten piercings: Yes I think is hands are pierced. Also I think of giving him a septum or one or twoo piercings in one eyebrow but I’m not sure about that
Had a broken heart: No Also I think he never really broke one
Been in love: Yes But only as a young teen and only twice
Stayed up for more than 24 hours: Yes I think this happens at least once every two weeks, maybe even more often since he’s a cyborg now
ARE THEY
A virgin: No He lost his virginity at the age or 15-16 I guess
A cuddler: Rarely I think he never really gave a fuck about that until he lost his sexdrive. Now he sometimes wants to cuddle someone but never does. Or maybe he cuddles cats.
A kisser: Rarely He never was the typical kisser but did it when he hooked up with someone. Nowadays the thought of kissing someone without having sex with them disgusts him somehow.
A smoker: Yes As said he’s a chain smoker. I think he sometimes smokes a package a day when he has nothing to do.
Scared easily: No He isn’t extremely brave but he also doesn’t jump at the slightest sound and can deal with the everyday horror of life
Jealous easily: Sometimes He isn’t the typical jealous person but sometimes he feels like he would miss out on something that others have
Trustworthy: Mostly He doesn’t really gossip but when something makes a good story he tells it. But he’s aware of that and doesn’t lie about his trustworthyness
Dominant: A little He isn’t into kinky stuff but he used to have an outgoing personality and even if he got quieter at the moment it’s still a part of him
Submissive: Rarely He is more used to hold his head down now than he was a few years before but he will never be a submissive person
Single: Yes Also he isn’t interested in having a relationship. As a human he described himself as a relationship anarchist.
RANDOM QUESTIONS
Have they harmed themselves: No At least not intentional
Thought of suicide: Maybe I’m not really sure about that but maybe he thought of killing himself after the law got changed and he was no longer human
Attempted suicide: No He’s not the kind of person who would actually try to kill themselves
Wanted to kill someone: No Of course he played with that in his mind but he knew he never really wanted to do that
Actually killed someone: No I’m not sure if he actually could kill someone. Maybe with the help of someone else but most likely not on his own.
Ridden a horse: No Why should he?
Have/had a job: Yes As said he’s a technician assisstant. Aka part of the job of someone else.
Have any fears: Yes Getting sold like a thing because he’s no longer human, getting attacked or killed because he’s a cyborg, getting hacked,...
FAMILY
Sibling(s): Yes I think he has one brother and one half brother, both older than him. And maybe a younger half sister.
Parents: Alive I think he has just no contact with them anymore
Children: No He never wanted some and now he’ll never have some
Pets: Part Time Cat and Part Time Dog The two don’t actually belong to him but they visit him at home (cat) and at his work place (dog).
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awesomedarmoe-blog · 6 years
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I’m NOT a “Bigot”
Recently I had a group of Transgender individuals hack my Facebook pages, file complaints about my various posts, calling me “Transphobic” simply because I do not agree with THEIR P.O.V. with the issue and the fact that there are a couple of trash issues said community refuse to recognize and tend to.  ISSUE #1 -- I have no problems with people that require the surgery to have it.  BUT, I do believe this is only the case for those that were improperly reassigned gender at birth, hermaphrodites or those born with the organs of the gender not being physically represented. I DO NOT believe that 5 and 6 year old boys that play dress up or even play with Barbies and Easy Bake Ovens are Trans. . . I know of very few males, gay & straight, who did not pass through such a phase.  Related to this. . . at 3 & 4 I spoke with a lisp and walked with a swish.  I can assure you, I’m nowhere near Transgender even though I have a form of body dysphoria -- I hate my fat! (who don’t?) Sadly though clinicians are using such phases in life as the grounds of their diagnosis or assumption of a Trans situation. I’m certain most reading this will agree that this is akin to the trend in the 90s when so many “Mental Health” professionals were planting the thought kernel in a child’s mind, that they had been molested. We would discover this deception and the result was a lot of bogus cases getting overturned.  A course correction that’s rather difficult to do when you’ve been on hormone therapy for a few years and finally wake up to the fact that you’re simply gay, and not part of the current popularity movement.  ISSUE #2 -- I have major issues with people that act like and project an attitude of “Kiss My Ass” -- expectation and privilege.  Sadly, I live in a region that is rife with both, Trans and Feminists (typically younger individuals) that are demeaning and all too frequently, rude.  I loathe such attitudes in anyone, but if you are part of a misunderstood minority, why go out of your way to create problems?  Understandably, I live in a region that’s a Bubble in which the Trans and hardcore Feminists have a level of freedom, protection and acceptance that stands way outside of what most consider “common” or remotely “normal”. There is a great sense of imbalance when it comes to men’s issues and even something as simple as dating -- no meeting of gathering places for us, the women manipulate the scenario so that they are allowed in. Gay Men frequently inundated by members of the Trans community for reasons about to be touched upon. . .  ISSUE #3 -- I am not obligated to buy into your delusions. Trans individuals have a belief that they are (typically) of the opposite gender from what biology suggests.  This is a mental obsession and they get their panites in a twist when you don’t use the “proper pronoun”.  GIVE ME A FUCKING BREAK!  I worked as a professional mind reader for 30 years and I’m not good enough to know such things and I learned many years ago, not to assume (met many a bearded lady over the years). Stop labeling people as “Transphobic” simply because they won’t join you in your fantasiful trip down the yellow brick road.  For millennia there have only be BOYS & GIRLS in the world with limited acceptance for those showing a homosexual-like nature; most traditions setting such people to the side, for religious training because they carried within them, the essence of both God & Goddess. From this more primitive perspective you had traditional heterosexuals, Bi-Sexuals, Homosexuals (men & women) as well as the A-sexual or non-gender/non-sexual being.  Again, it’s been this way for centuries and I’m certain these points of reality will prove far more a constant than what we’re seeing in trend currently around the LGBT community
ISSUE #4 -- The Trans Evangelicals i.e. militant and aggressive transgender folk that berate and gang up on fresh out of the closet gay/lesbian kids and harass them into believing they are Trans. 
If there is one thing I loathe in life, it’s a high pressure sales pitch of which zealots of most any cause, fit the mold.  I grew up around preachers and evangelists and know them all to be con artist and bold faced liars. When it comes to this issue things are no different; individuals within the Trans community can be assholes just as anyone else can.  In my area the imbalance seems to empower certain folks that want to share the pain and bring others down into the abyss with them.
We must bare in mind that the Trans community has an exceptionally high ratio of mentally unstable individuals.  Huge %s of them are drug addicts and alcoholics due to self-hate/loathing. Over 40% of all Trans people ultimately kill themselves within the initial transition stages with a relatively similar % killing themselves within 5 years of completing the surgery. Yet, Mental Health professionals are negating the condition as being a disturbing Psychological issue presented by people that need on-going help vs. enabling. 
ISSUE #5 -- The Game Players i.e. Female to Male Trans folk that get their jollies not revealing that they are trans until they have lead gay men down a path that leads to the bedroom where certain body parts are missing (sorry, but most gay men want a real functioning dick).  If you throw them off you, toss them out the door or kick their ass, you are stigmatized with being Transphobic. . and that’s bull shit!  This is a game that will end up with someone getting killed if the Trans community don’t get it stopped FAST!  
I brought this forward on Facebook and was immediately attacked by Trans people and their enablers. Which seems to say, “Trans people can do whatever the fuck they want and you can’t clock them on it.”  Well, I’m going to risk saying that you’re full of shit; this is highly unethical, immoral and disrespectful and it is the sort of thing that hurts your cause far more than it does anything. ISSUE #6 -- Ignorance DOES NOT = Transphobic
I have never understood the appeal of doing Drag; I’m a male and though I don’t mind wearing a kaftan at home it is not something I’d wonder about town in.  I wear MEN’S CLOTHING because I am male.  As an entertainer I have worked with many drag queens and female impersonators and for most of that career never had problem one. . . drop away from the scene for a decade and things change on the social-politica front and the Trans community manages to launch a big PR campaign that makes them special.  Yet, many of their membership fail to understand (accept) that the majority of the world can’t wrap its head around their delusion -- their heart held belief that they are actually “normal” in some way. . . again, a believe invented by today’s Mental Health industry and supposedly supported by Medical Science i.e. the claim that the brain of a trans person is “different” from the brain of a normal person.  
Phil Donahue suggested this very same thing back in the 80s, as an explanation around why some folks are gay and others aren’t. . . it had a short shelf-life in actual scientific circles.  Like the Donahue report however, it is darn near impossible to find supporting data to this claim by the Trans community that is not being posted on sites that are LGBT sympathetic on political & social levels.  In other words, the claim seems to be what one would expect Exxon to say about how safe their products are for the environment or belief in “Clean Coal”. 
Not understanding something does not mean you’re ignorant; I know a lot of well educated people that cannot understand the Trans scenario no matter how it is explained.  I’ve been actively a part of the LGBT community for decades and until this past decade the Trans thing was never a major issue.  It is my belief however, that it is trend just as coming out of the closet was used by young people to shock parents back in the 70s and 80s; it’s the next big step. 
As a Rule I have no problem with 90% of the Trans community.  But, if you are a zealot I will put you in your place.  If you are a game player, I will charge you with rape because that is exactly what you’re doing and I bet a good D.A. could add “Hate Crime” to that charge. The thing is, I honestly don’t understand; especially those that want to change gender in order to become a gay man or lesbian -- makes no sense whatsoever -- simply supporting my belief that much of this is done for sake of shocking society and nothing other. 
IN CLOSING. . . I grew up around real bigots including a rather infamous uncle that was a Grand Dragon of the KKK. I’ve seen and even experienced the extremes of bigotry, homophobia, etc. so I know what it means to be a “bigot”. I also find it curious that I’m condemned by aspects of my own community because of my honesty around the whole Trans issue. Especially given how appalled several notable figures in the local community are around the very issues I’ve listed here.
If the LGBT community continues to enable people to do whatever they want and defend them vs. chastising the bad players, I will gladly step completely out of that niche and work with those who, like me, want to see a positive representation of who and what we are, not Green Bay Quarterbacks in a dress and beard. . . such displays insult women that actually have facial hair and contradicts the gender claim of the Trans. . . at least in the view of most. 
You will always attract more bees with honey so maybe it really is time to get our house in order along with priorities. 
I live by very progressive points of view when it comes to society and politics with a hint of midwestern conservatism a.k.a. simple old fashioned common sense.  I’m really good at seeing both sides of most issues.  But do not condemn me or paint me into a niche, simply because I am incapable of supporting your delusions.  That’s not to say that I wouldn’t protect you or defend your rights as a human being, I most certainly would.  But I do not have to cosign things just because Hollywood is pushing it as an agenda. 
Well, enough from me.  I do hope this clarifies things with those that have lashed out at me on FB and elsewhere. 
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