#transformers angst | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

the-mom-friend-dot-com · 7 months

Text

falling leaves- Optimus prime x bot!reader

authors note: ok so it's not really specifically optimus so you can put whoever you want in it i just didn't know what to put and he was my first choice

TW: death, abandonment, denial?

Autumn leaves pooled around a foreign creature in the woods. Sad, cold metal rested, seemingly rusted together. Colorful paint faded and chipping. Centuries have passed and no sign of life had come from the large metal being. Why was it there? Was it hiding? Was it waiting for someone? How did it get there? Perhaps it was exploring and got lost. Maybe it ran out of energy and sat down to rest, not knowing when it would get up. These are the things that the little critters wonder as they pass by the large metal being. Some say that it was once a tall, shining robot searching for a lover. Some say it was a criminal, hiding away. Stories were told by the creatures over many generations but none truly knew why it was there.

These thoughts continued until one day a strange noise emitted from the metal creature. It sounded like someone was speaking but the creature remained still. The forest became silent, curious as to what was happening. The voice returned and a faint glow came from the metal being. Was it alive? The light shone brighter and brighter until a loud stomping was heard. The critters scattered, scared. What is that? The metal thing hasn’t moved an inch! where was this sound coming from?

As the steps became louder and louder the trees parted and out emerged another large, metallic being. This one was bigger than the dormant one. It was colored brightly with strange patterns, a stark contrast to the faded paint on the other bot.

The new bot looked around, searching for something until it found what it was looking for. It walked over to the unmoving robot and wiped away the vines and leaves. It attempted to wake the dormant bot but upon finding it unsuccessful, it put a hand to the side of its head where its ear would be and started to speak. It spoke of finding what they were there for and bringing it back to base. The bot wrapped its arms around the smaller bot and lifted it with ease. The dull robot looked small and frail next to the newcomer.

The standing bot took one last look around the silent forest and walked. He walked away from the clearing where he had found the bot. He walked and walked until he emerged from the forest and neared his ship. The mech arrived at the shuttle the hatch opened. There stood his best friend. He watched as the mech’s face fell at the sight of the seemingly lifeless bot. He had found them. His long-lost other half. His best friend. His soulmate.

His eyes dulled as he took his lover from the arms of his friend. Soft words were whispered to his lover, unheard but meaningful. How long had they been there, waiting for him to arrive? The guilt was overwhelming for the mech. While he was out fighting they were here, waiting on a long forgotten promise of a new and bright future.

He would make it up to them. He would fix what had happened and build them the life they had dreamed of. If only they would wake up. He was not a doctor so he knew not what to do. He had to hurry. Who knows how long you have been out and how much time you have left. Would you wake up? He does not think he would be able to bear it if you didn’t.

So they shoot off into space, racing the ticking clock of life, unknowing of the outcome and praying. He prayed that you would wake up. That you would wake and be happy to see him. That you would not hate him for the mistake he had made that may have cost you your life. He prays for their forgiveness and love. He prays because that small sliver of hope is all that he needs to continue. That he will be able to see you smile at him once more.

These prayers continue as he waits. Grasping onto that slim chance that all will be fine. That small chance is all he needs. He has gone off of less before. He believes.

He keeps believing. It’s what keeps him going. Every day he believes. He believes even when they say the chances are slim. He believes that you will wake up. He believes that you will come home to him one day. He believes until there is nothing left to believe in. He believes until there is nothing left. Until you are gone because believing is the least he can do. After all he has done believing is the least he can do for you. And he does so until the end. Until your time has run out and there is no fight left in you. Until you're gone and there’s no bringing you back. Until he is forced to realize the truth.

#optimus prime x reader #bot x reader #autobot x reader #transformers #optimus prime #tfp #tfa #mtmte #optimus x bot reader #Optimus prime x reader angst #Optimus angst #transformers angst #autobot x reader angst #decepticon x reader #decepticon x reader angst

79 notes · View notes

cozzzynook · 8 months

Text

Having thoughts of secretly sparked Bumblebee.

He knew something was up when he kept opting out of his favorite energon even giving away his secret stash of his favorite minerals that tasted overly sweet, his favorite secret indulgence.

His tanks couldn’t handle the thought of the stuff and his smell sensor kept malfunctioning every time he smelled the stuff. He snuck from his room late one night, servos nervously fiddling as he tried to work up the nerve to get some fuel into his systems but he simply just couldn’t bring himself to.

His concerns grew as his tank churned almost all hours of the day purging without fail after each transformation. He was thankful his team was none the wiser since he didn’t like being worried over but he knew something was very wrong when he tried to transform into his alt mode and the world went black.

He was thankful it happened after his patrol when he’d already commed the team letting them know he was going on a long lone drive and he was, truthfully he was.

Until he felt so dizzy his processor was faulting on even remembering his name let alone transforming. He doesn’t remember hitting the ground but he woke to pains wracking his frame and joints all over. His hub indicated he’d been asleep for the past seven hours.

He was in so much shock he almost missed the reason his self diagnostic scans provided him as to why he was in such peculiar shape.

Sparked, his hub read.

Sparked.

Him, bumblebee, sparked.

If he wasn’t having a hard time with his air intakes venting before he did now.

Both time and his intakes stopped all together.

The lack of fuel intake, the intolerance to his favorite meal and snack, the tiredness he felt no matter how deep a recharge. The slight raise to his chassis where his spark laid hidden all made so much sense now even if he had half a mind to try and deny it.

He suddenly was overcome with the necessary energy to scramble into a half sitting position and open his spark chamber. Getting a first hand look at the bright glow of not only his own spark but two tiny sparks that were hugged against both sides of his own.

His servos fell and he couldn’t believe it.

He couldn’t believe nor stop staring at his vulnerable and open spark chamber that not only housed his life but two others.

He was sparked.

Bumblebee was sparked and he was going to become a creator in ayear by Earth’s standard time.

‘I’m going to be a creator..I’m..i’m going to be someones carrier,’ his processor drenched in distraught as his faceplates remained in shock. A stream was threatening to leak from his optics when a thought quite literally slammed his spark chamber shut.

Thudding footsteps, heavy peds, glaring red that were once lulling yellow always besides his long time conjuxed. Those four glowing red optics were a sight he was beyond gifted to behold and the little sliver of a smile and two warm fields accompanying it had him melting just the same as he did the day he saw and felt them.

He wasn’t sure why the two felt the need to see him, to touch him, to give caring and wanting touches to him when they were so perfect for each other and far too different from him.

Thoughts like these rang in his processor more often than he would ever care to admit.

He kept his insecurities and lack of assurance along with the rampant fluctuations of his em field close at spark. He never let the another feel the emotions warring inside him no matter how every bot who knew him claimed he wore his spark on his sleeve.

‘I can’t tell them..not..not about this..they’re conjux with each other. I’m..I’m no one. I’m just a momentary interest to spice things up in the berth.’

‘When the war ends, hopefully at a time we’re alive to see it, things will change and they won’t want me anymore…’

‘I’m just a pleasure bot they would use during our time away from our factions…sure they snuck me on board the Nemesis more often than not..but..they’re conjuxed..’

The flashes of the purple tank mech sitting in his large lab, working on a classified project Bee never bothered to ask about. The scientist sliding an optic over at the communications officer who watched the monitors of not only Earth but other territories commanded under Decepticon reign that again Bee pays no real mind to.

He’s not there to gain information just like the tank of a mech and the slim master spy don’t bother asking him for information nor do they try to gather intel from any data pads Bee brings with him.

He knew deep down both would find it illogical under any other circumstance to not take advantage of the opportunity given and yet neither crossed that boundary just as he never crossed theirs.

Only now Bee feels he’s crossed something much worse than a simple boundary.

He’s played with fire and now he’s burning along the frays as he struggles to intake through his vents no matter how much he presses along his chassis.

He slept with two conjuxed mechs.

Two very dangerous mechs known as the SIC and TIC of the decepticon army.

His dark thoughts reared their ugly heads at the front of his processor glimpsing at all the times he turned his optics from the conjuxs loving displays towards each other. The scientist was not a fan of touch or bots in his personal space neither was the communications officer but for each other they made exception.

So Bee avoided initiating any touch between the two along with allowing them to enter his space freely whenever they so pleased even going along with letting them initiate both interfacing and after face care.

The two knew exactly what the other wanted and Bee was happy to take whatever form of affection they would give him. Whether it be simple cleaning him up around his valve and laying comfortably in the berth to getting comfortable in their arms as they both held him on either side or each other.

Deep down he knew he wasn’t special to the two, he was a passing fling that somehow managed to go on for about an Earth years time. He was young and foolish falling for the quiet and mysterious sparks of a conjux couple but he couldn’t help himself. He figured he could keep the feelings close at spark not letting another soul know how he truly felt about the pair. Not even the science officer nor communications spymaster knew he was in love with them.

And seeing as how they were loyal to each other and the cause and not some young foolish bot who managed to get sparked on accident that was on the opposite side of their faction, he knew he needed to keep it that way.

His friends, comrades and family could never know about the sparks he was carrying. Bee would be put in the stockades or worst, they’d rip out his sparklings and send him to be tortured and have his processor torn to bits for information looking through his memory core and hard drives for any intel he may have given or received during his time with the two decepticons.

It wouldn’t matter if he was telling the truth in never giving up intel to the two nor would all his past acts of fighting for the autobot cause be remembered.

He was a traitor.

A sparked traitor who laid in the berths of two highly dangerous mechs who would offline him and their sparks the moment they discovered his condition and status.

He had to get out of there.

He needed to leave Jasper Nevada and with it his connections to both his friends and faction and the two mechs he grew to love.

He couldn’t transformer into his alt mode at the moment out of fear he would purge and momentarily offline again. So he scrapped his comms to his team, hiding his em field and spark signature before taking one last look in the direction of their base before turning and walking off.

If he were lucky he would make it to the cities edge and head out before his team sent any search parties for him.

He was confident the SIC and TIC wouldn’t be troubled once he didn’t show at their usual meeting spot. If he hadn’t passed out and discovered said reasoning for his strange behavior and symptoms he would’ve been on his way to meet with them.

He didn’t think they would be concerned maybe upset at wasting their time and any fuel energon on coming to meet with him but he’s sure after some time away from him they would move on, forgetting him in favor of time with each other.

Flashes of the two having things go back to normal swallowed his processor whole with every step he took away from the city. Images of the purple tank working in his lab as the spymaster cuddled with Ravage who would often curl in Bee’s lap rubbing along his chassis and tank. Bee didn’t think much of it when the feline cassette started doing it he just hoped it meant she was warming up to him.

Though, none of Soundwaves cassettes actually disliked him as far as he knew, they each cuddled up to him one way or another its just more recently they all started to make an engine rumbling noise that had him falling into recharge. He couldn’t for the life of himself fall into recharge in his own berth but every time Frenzy and Ravage laid on his lap and purred with their engines he was able to fall into recharge.

Neither Shockwave nor Soundwave ever disturbed him when this happened even as the habit grew more and more with frequency. Frenzy and Ravage had a habit now of sticking close to him and preferring being by his side whenever he set foot onto their base or met in their secret spot.

Bee should’ve guessed then that something was wrong but he hadn’t, he couldn’t have known it meant he was carrying since he’s never carried before. He was just glad he could recharge in peace after his steadily piling symptoms were leaving him drained.

‘I hope they don’t miss me too much,’ Bee mused to himself with worrying servos, his pedes hurt the farther he walked and he briefly wondered just how difficult his carrying would become since it was his first. Being a carrier meant having to know all there was to it in case of accidental sparking.

Going through his processor he really should have seen all the clear signs that showed he was with sparklings.

‘They won’t miss me..they were just following basic instincts,’ he reasoned with himself, spark and helm hurting at the thought. ‘It’s a good thing,’ he mused with a churning tank, ‘now I won’t have to worry about them telling the two.’

He felt a chill run down his spinal cord making his servos rub at his middle, the soft surface was still flat but the muscle he’d long sculpted there was gone. Another sign of his carrying clear as day that he hoped neither his team nor the two decepticons noticed. If Ravage and Frenzy could sense the sparklings within him from their more primal instincts it was only a matter of time before the two mechs began to notice.

Bee truly hoped neither cassettes told of his being sparked.

‘Just have to make it out of here,’ he thought to himself, rubbing the spot that housed not only his spark but two more he’d already decided to protect with his.

As he walked out of the city limits that nights and headed for a new destination away from the autobots and decepticons, he missed the warp gate opening to his last known spark location. Two large mechs scanning the area as Frenzy took to the skies with Soundwave following in pursuit and Ravage sniffing out the scent of the little autobot. Taking off with Shockwave following closely, both silent mechs held an air of promise with the intent to permanently offline the bot they believed took their future mate.

I love this pairing - all three togethe and the pairing shockwave and soundwave.

Gonna write about shockwave/blitzwing/bumblebee next or just shockbee angst next 👀

107 notes · View notes

poetnix29 · 2 months

Text

Eternal Rest

As soon as my spark came to light,

Violence was all that was in my sight,

Telling me to fight,

Will I be able to stop, just for a night?

War and bloodshed,

Pressure and competition,

Every escape leads to another dead end,

Another day, another sin.

Blinded by the light,

Ended up being my own pride,

Stuck in the same place for years on,

Just another friend gone.

Until my revelation,

To tell people to do more,

Telling others my reason for motivation,

Only to be left sore.

I had the impression that you were another regular person when I met you,

But there was something that made you different and seemed to always remain true,

I thought you were another person to leave from my list,

But you stayed, little archivist.

You became a mentor and a brother to me,

Perhaps something more,

You were always there where I could see,

I was never more sure.

But then on that very day where you stole what was meant to be mine,

My rage caused me to be blind,

I left you in the dust,

Bringing along those I 'trust'.

I caused a massacre,

And fought against you,

Yet I went further,

The price I had to pay was long past due.

Centuries passed by,

Time seemed to fly,

But still the warfare never seemed to meet it's end,

Continuing on like an ongoing trend.

But I know I am the one at fault,

Somehow you act as if I'm not the one to blame,

I am the one that caused it all,

And you stay the same.

On that day when I lost control,

You put it on yourself; the blame of it all,

You paid the price for me,

A kind of kindness I will never once more see.

You were the jack of all trades,

Why do it all?

It felt like a game of charades,

The risks always stood tall.

I'm so sorry old friend,

You lost everything and your life in the end,

The sparks lighted the sky,

May you fly high.

For I regret every last thing I have done in the past,

I would find you again no matter the task,

May your suffering be your last,

For our fate is never in our grasps.

I would go all the way to the heavens to find you there,

But I know I deserve it not,

I deserve every abuse and glare,

But please do not be distraught.

My friend, may you find peace,

Please do not change,

You feel like a missing piece,

Forgive me for the pain.

#transformers angst #megop #???#megatronus #orion pax #tfp megatron #tfp optimus #megatron #optimus prime #poetry #why do i do this to myself #post war #pre war #tw implied death

23 notes · View notes

hx4x4enthusiast · 11 months

Text

Two sparks and a drumming heart

Part 1 (3233 words)

Part 2: https://www.tumblr.com/jorico/721903257373605888/chapter-2-1560-words-warmth-covered-my-sore-body?source=share

Ship: Optimus x gender-neutral reader x Ratchet

Fic category: hurt/comfort

Trigger Warning: Self-Harm, Depression, mention of past suicide attempt,

“Speech”

-Commlink conversation-

kursiv=thought

It was a calm Friday at the base, the kids finally got the permission from their parents, Fowler and Optimus to have a sleepover all weekend long. Difference all the kids sleep with their guardians, and I will sleep n the main area.

You see everyone has a guardian, a protector of sorts, they pick you up from school protect you from the Decepticons spent time with you while you teach them about earth and humans. For example, Arcee is Jacks Guardian, Bulkhead protects Miko meanwhile Raf has Bumblebee as his Guardian and I well, I can take care of myself, always has always will and that is fine. Believe me I can understand Optimus is the leader of the Autobots he already knows all about Earth and humans a top of that he has the burden of an entire planet and war on his shoulder, meanwhile Ratchet constantly works from trying to help with scientific advancements to give constant medical services.

Ratchet is a medic to be more precise the medical officer of the Autobots, and probably the person that loathes me the most. And I tried to befriend him, or at least be on civil speaking terms (like June), with him but every time I try, it seems the opposite happens. Some people just don’t get along with others. And I would stay out his way believe me I can take a hint. My other half guardian would be Optimus he is the leader. He is civil with everyone, and kind of the only bot Ratchet is willing to listen to. He is nice we, on the rare occasion he has time, talk about books. But well Optimus is the Autobot leader and a Prime he doesn’t have time for a small human like me, which is absolutely understandable, I mean he carries the weight of the fate of our planet and the future of his planet on his shoulder. While simultaneously being a strong leader for his team and fighting in a war. Problem they are my guardians, well half guardians, they sometimes just drive me home or well bridges me there. But seeing the other kids with their guardians does make me miss something I wish I had, but that’s just me being silly. And I have my ways to deal with these thoughts and feelings.

Shaking myself out of those thoughts I look at the time and realize the kids are not going to be back soon. Jack and Arcee were on Patrol, Raf and Bumblebee were out as well probably racing and finally, Miko and Bulkhead are out dune bashing. Realizing I have the bathroom to myself I grab my bag and move into the direction of the shower.

We all had bags in the base with back up clothes, sleeping bags and basic hygiene products after one-to-many incidence that ended in us needing a change of clothes or having a spontaneously sleepover. And I was in desperate need of a shower.

Infront of the bathroom we put an old locker where we could put our stuff, the locks were Jacks idea to make the locker Miko-proof. After I took my clothes and shower out of my locker, I checked the floor to check for anyone in the hallway. Knowing it was empty I rummaged through my bag to get to a small cardboard box buried under my clothes. Having the little box in my hands I pull out one of the wrapped articles an put the box back into its hiding spot. Having the utensil concealed underneath my clothes I give one last look into the hallway before stepping into the the room with the showers and putting my clothes into the designated spot. I start to strip out of my clothes, and leave them on the floor, they are a problem for future me. Taking my shampoo, bodywash, towel and the still wrapped object I proceed into the actual shower. The warm water on my skin feels like heaven and I release a shaky breath.

There are several reasons in my opinion why showers are great. But the biggest is probably that a shower washes everything away like stress, exhaustion, tears, and blood. Though I suppose for most people they are just a way to get clean. In the background of my brain my thoughts are continuing their philosophy about humans and shower time. While I watch fascinated, with the occasional sharp sting on my lower arm, as red mixes with the clear water and goes down the drain. I glance to my arm and see my dominate hand holding the now unwrapped blade while continuously slitting red lines into my skin. The little red drops don’t even have time to form as they are immediately washed away. It has been some time since I last did this. When did I last cut myself, it was probably a few weeks before I met the Autobots. Right, I wanted to kill myself on the day I met the Autobots but couldn’t go through with it because The Decepticons attacked me before I could begin. And since then, I didn’t find the time. Oh, right I should go back before someone tries to find me. No one should see me this way.

Quickly washing my hair and body, while being careful around my wound, I turned off the shower and dried myself up, carefully dipping around the wound, it was a good decision to buy black towels. After throwing on a hoodie and a pair of short sweatpants I clean up after me and leave the shower, stuffing the wrapping paper and blade into my hoodie, to dispose of them later. After gripping my bag and putting it back into my locker, I slowly start to trot back to the others.

The main room came into view, mentally preparing myself for the social flood I take a deep breath and step into the room. Only to find nothing, or more like no one, the room is empty. The human area is missing Jack, Miko as well as Raph and even Arcee, Bumblebee along with Bulkhead are missing. Only Ratchet and Optimus are on the computers no doubt calculating and strategizing the future of the Autobots. Having just taken a few steps into the room both of them suddenly freeze which is concerning. After they scan the room for whatever it is that unsettles both their optics land nearly contemporaneous on me.

“Uhm are you okay should, should I leave, I can go no Problem I didn’t mean to interrupt you. Do you know where the menaces are I wou-.”

“You are injured.”

“What?”

“You are injured.”

I blinked my mind trying to process onto what is happening. While Ratchets observation is not wrong, how did he know? Does Optimus know? He looks just as shocked as Ratchet. Wait do they know? Know what I did? No, they can’t that’s not possible. But they are aliens, with high tech and Ratchet is essential a doctor. My body erupts into goosebumps, and I have a full body shiver. Which tears me out of my thoughts. Just in time to see Ratchets green arm scanner disappearing and him looking at the apparent scan results. Looking up it’s like some turned a switch around and he is in doctor mode.

“You have multiple incisions on your underarm. The next steps are to clean the wound and wrap it up to keep the wounds from getting infected and help with the healing process. Now follow me to the med bay so that I can ensure the appropriate treatment of the wounds and check if there are incisions that need stitching.”

I look shell shocked between Optimus and Rachet. Unable to react.

“Well, what are you waiting for the faster you receive medical treatment the lesser the chance of infection.”

One thought crosses my thought. -If Ratchet takes me to the med bay he will see the wound, if he sees the wounds, he wants to know how they came to be. Then I must explain, then they will now that I am a useless wreck, and they should abandon me. - Scared of the reaction that will follow the reveal of the reasons behind my scars I do the only thing, sensible to me at that moment. I turn tail and bolt out of the room into maze which are the corridors of the old missile silo. Followed by an angry shout.

“You better come back here right this nanocycle, or so help you, Primus!”

The floor feels like it is vibrating and the muffled sound of something solid hitting the ground repeatedly, changes to fast approaching vehicles. A Blur of red and white speeds past me, I collied with solid metal. A Ambulance is parked right in front of me. The ambulance belongs to a medic, a medic which patient just went AWOL and not only tried to escape treatment but also him. Doing a 180 is met with yet another collision, this time though the metal adorns a red-blue colour scheme and the vehicle changes from an ambulance to a semi-truck. Both ways blocked by vehicles and surrounded by thick concrete walls that are enclosing rapidly.

“What is wrong with you? What happened back there?”

“Little Archivist?”

A high-pitched tone goes through my ears and my hands instinctively cover them, only for my chest to feel like someone laid multiple rocks on my lungs. Rapidly trying to take deep breath to get oxygen in my lungs doesn’t seem to work and my vision starts to blur. The feeling of a calm deep baritone voice starts to slowly blend the high-pitched noise out. while the feeling of warmth and something smooth encircles me. Drawing small patterns onto the metallic looking appendage start to pacify the wind whirl in my thoughts.

“You are safe our little archivist, everything’s going to be alright, we are here.”

“Can I come closer? Is it okay if I touch you?”

Looking up I am met with the concerned optics of Ratchet. I nod and slowly the feeling of something warm and smooth encircles me. And I find myself sitting in a metal servo with a cybertronian equivalent of a thumb gently draped over my legs Drawing small patterns onto the metal appendage furthers the process to pacify the wind whirl in my thoughts. And I feel a light draft from being slowly lifted, as Ratchet starts to slowly right himself to his full hight. Optimus slowly makes his way over to us with careful steps, like one would do when faced with a scared animal.

“Little Archivist, are you back with us?”

Looking up to Optimus I nod, his faceplate shows the same feelings as Ratchet. Confusion, Concern and behind the two one could see fear.

“We won’t discuss or ask about what transpired if you don’t feel ready for that conversation.”

“But I do need to take of your wounds. I won’t ask any question related to how you got them, in exchange you will go with us to the med bay and let me take care of the injury.”

“And after the medbay you will stay within both see and hearing distance of either me or Ratchet, which includes recharge which we will do once Ratchet has checked you, over. Do you agree to our condition?”

I nod unsure and confused on what else I could do. Ratchet carefully curls his servo around me and we move into the direction of the medbay. No one saying a thing.

As Ratchet walks through the doors of the medbay Optimus directly behind us closes the doors and moves to the side of the berth Ratchet carefully put me on. A series of clicks later two mass-displaced cybertronians are sitting next to me. As Ratchet makes a move to inspect my arm, I get startled out of my vegetive state and recoil back. Right into Optimus. Gently he lifts me up like I weigh nothing and deposit me into his lap. One servo circles around my midsection and remains there light enough to not make me feel trapped but still secure enough to give comfort and be grounding. All the while laying his other servo on my head and tenderly guiding my head to his chest plate right above his spark. The sound of his spark giving me something to focus on, as I lean against him.

“Your safe little archivist, we are here, we want to help you.”

The deep rumble of Optimus voice and the warmth of his chassis made me snuggle closer to him.

“He is right little spark, would it be ok if I touch you? I want to take a closer look at your wounds.”

Looking up at Ratchet I saw the gentle look upon his faceplate, being reassured by his words and voice. I slowly uncurled my arm and hold it out for Ratchet, my scars on full display for both cybertronians to see. Both silent as Ratchet inspects the scars and starts getting the supplies, he needs to clean the incisions, from his human med bag that I only notice now.

“I am going to disinfect the wound now, little spark. This may sting a little.”

Hissing as the alcohol-soaked cotton ball hit my wounds was the only thing I could really do, with the firm grip Optimus and Ratchet had. I couldn’t escape or really move my limbs, though I weirdly didn’t feel trapped, it felt comfortable, it felt safe. After cleaning up the wounds, Ratchet put some ointment onto aid in the healing process and started wrapping up the arm, while continuing to hold my arm in the strong hold. Ratchet took a deep vent, a human custom he adopted. And raised his helm util his optics met my eyes.

“These incisions are very clean, like they were created with a sharp object under the intension to cause harm.”

“A sharp object like a knife or a razor blade.”

That sentenced from Optimus made me look up, only to see his gaze on a small metal object in his left servo that had previously held my head. I paled and try to escape only to realize Optimus had tighten his grip around my mid-section and Ratchet held my arm the same way Optimus held my mid-riff. Atop my legs were trapped between Ratchets thigh guards. It was clear that they both did this before and had no intension of letting me run away again.

“No no, let me go. Please I won’t do it again I swear. Just please.”

In hindsight I also could have tried to move a brick wall and would have been more successful. But in that moment my flight reflex complex was in full motion. Ratchet took that moment to ask the dreaded question.

“Little Spark did you do it? We are not mad or disappointed, we won’t scream or judge you.”

“But we need to know if you hurt yourself, little archivist. We want to help but we can only do so if you let us.”

“You are important to us, we don’t…can’t lose you. Please talk to us.”

Hearing their concern, I hesitantly looked up to see their optics on me. Fear and sadness edged onto both of their faceplates. Seeing the always confident leader of the Autobots and the consistently guarded medic be this vulnerable for me. They cared for me, the one always over, the third wheel made, the back-up friend, made me break. For the first time in a long time, I opened up to someone, let someone see my heart, see me. Not the carefully crafted persona made to please everyone. No, I showed them the real me the shattered person that fixed themselves with all-purpose glues and duct-tape. I always was pretty ugly when I cried.

As my crying ebbed down into silent little sobs and I realize my surroundings. I find myself in a hug, surrounded by warmth and seeing parts of an orange-white shoulder pad. Slowly the shoulder pad moved back to reveal a chassis with a helm and a face plate with a look of love, care and relief.

“Now little spark, I say you need a good recharge, doctors’ orders.”

I heard Optimus chuckle, at Ratchets attempt to hide his as he calls it “soft side”, as he lifts me up and into his arms. Causing me to yelp and latch onto Optimus due to the sudden movement. Causing another chuckle from Optimus and a small smirk from Ratchet.

“I agree with him you need rest, little archivist. Besides I don’t think it is wise to go against a medic’s orders. Especially Ratchets”

“Can I get that in writing.”

I couldn’t help myself and smiled, it was small and a little shaky, but it was real, the first one in a long time, that wasn’t forced. Turning back to his original size ratchet took Optimus with me in his arms into his servo and moved out of the medbay.

“Where are we headed?”

“To our hab suite little spark. Because besides you there is another bot that hasn’t recharged in a few decacycles and desperately needs to shut down.

Said bot kept quiet and didn’t acknowledge the hint Ratchet gave. Continuing the journey to the bot’s quarters while surrounded by Optimus warmth and with the gentle movement of Ratchet, my eyes felt heavy, and I couldn’t contain my yawning. The Adrenalin is probably leaving my body. Fighting against the exhaustion seemed useless as I grew more tired from minute to minute. Until sleep claimed me and I fell asleep in the arms of Optimus.

Feeling a sudden weigh on his shoulder the Prime carefully moved his helm to see their little human deep in recharge on in his arms. Feeling a small smile make his way onto his faceplate as he carefully readjusted his grip on the small human.

-Ratchet it seems our little sparkmate, didn’t make it to our berth to fall into recharge. -

Ratchets gaze fell upon his Counjux to see the little human, in his arms, indeed had felt into recharge.

-Well, are you surprised, after everything that happened today. I am just disappointed we didn’t notice it earlier. Then they wouldn’t have to suffer today. Who knows how long they already had to deal with this on their own. –

Feeling the blame Ratchet put on himself through their spark bond. Optimus looked up to his Conjux.

-Not you or I are to blame for not this. Though the situation my be dire it is good we have found out now before worse could happen. Now we are able to help, able to stand beside them to fight of their inner demons. –

-Always the poet, Optimus. But enough of the sentimental their will be more than enough time for that in the future. For now it’s time for recharge, both of you desperately need it. –

Seeing they arrived at their shared hab suite. They end their commlink conversation, as Ratchet carefully deposits them on the berth. Optimus carefully lays the sleeping human in his arms down, before changing back to his original size and laying himself next to his conjux. Taking their little human between them. They share a little kiss before powering down to the sound of two sparks and a drumming heart.

#transformers #transformers prime #macaddam #ratchet x reader #optimus x reader #optimus x ratchet #optimus prime #transformers angst #transformers comfort #ratchet #gender neutral reader

128 notes · View notes

tripleglitchwriting · 2 months

Text

Hello everyone, I’ve been having a bit of a tough time so here’s a short VERY angsty-venty fic

Also not beta read, sorry.

Blue Flowers

TFP Bulkhead x gn Human reader (platonic)

CW: Character death, Grief, mourning, ANGST!! Heed the warnings!!

Some say “to love and lose is better never having loved at all”. I agree, to an extent I suppose. When you love someone it can be the best feeling in the world- be that platonic, familial, romantic, or anything else. And when you lose them, it can be the most devastating thing you’ve ever felt. Everybody’s been through it, and everyone will go through it. Life and death, black and white, sky and sea.

==========

“Do you miss him?”

“Of course I do. I miss everyone I lost in the war.”

“I miss him too.”

The stars were so beautiful the night you had that conversation with Bulkhead. They barely lit up the sky on Earth, but you knew each and every one could bring day like the sun could. It was a frightening to find out aliens lived among you and hardly any of humanity knew it. At least they were nice. Most of them. The ones you’d met at least. They were more human than some of the people you’d seen.

“I’m sorry.”

“What for? You didn’t do anything.”

“I know, I just- I just. I don’t know. I don’t know. How… do you do this? I can’t even imagine what it would have been like to… to be there when….”

“Yeah, well, that’s what we signed up for.”

“…Are you not, like, upset? At all?”

“Of course I am! It’s just… ‘been through it so many times… it never loses its sting though. It hurts more every time.”

“Well- well don’t you want to get revenge? Don’t you want to hurt them back? Why can’t we just- just- UGH!” Tears pooled at the corners of your eyes, joining the streaks that had already stained your face.

“I do. I really, really do. And I have, when it happened before. But killing never made it any better. It never…. I never got the relief I was looking for.” You didn’t respond that time. Instead you sat up on the grassy hill you were stargazing on and hugged your knees to your chest. Bulkhead’s usually bright optics were dimmed in the darkness. A light you had known to be comforting shaded with a grief you had never known him to show.

“I… I just can’t stop thinking…. I can’t stop thinking about how he’s- he’s-” you broke into a sob, “he’s not gonna come back.”

“I know, I know. Trust me, I know.” Bulkhead cupped his hand to you back in a contorted version of a hug. Head radiated off it, but you never felt colder. For awhile you didn’t move. And neither did he. Stoically, he watched you bawl and release the pain you undoubtedly felt. When you slowed down to a sniffle, the courage to ask a question you already knew the answer to made its way to your throat.

“Does it get better?” Bulkhead smiled.

“Yeah. Yeah it does. Promise.”

“Okay.” You managed to whimper out before collapsing into a crying mess again- but this time he put out his thumb for you to cling to. You squeezed it tight, and he brought his other fingers closer to your back. The embrace lasted for a long time. Long enough for you to fall asleep in his grasp.

When you were deep in slumber, he found it to be a good time to move back to base. You didn’t wake up at the bright flash of the groundbridge or the mildly bone rattling effects it typically brought. The last thing you saw before you went off to a dreamless rest was a very big hand putting a comparably tiny sheet of fabric around you.

It wasn’t something you experienced yourself, but from what you heard, Bulkhead spent the entire next day setting up a memorial. He put all of his friend’s favorite things together. No one spoke to him other than to check on his well being. When it was all said and done, the only thing left was a grave labeled “Wheeljack”, and blue flowers left on its topsoil.

#transformers #transformers g/t #tripleglitchwrites #transformers prime fanfiction #tfp bulkhead #grief #very different from what I normally write #it felt good though #gn human reader #gn reader #bulkhead #angst #transformers angst

19 notes · View notes

sc-02 · 1 year

Text

I had to draw some fucking angst I’ve been craving.

#transformers #earthspark #tf earthspark #maccadam #transformers earthspark #tfe bumblebee #tfe #bumblebee #transformers angst #brawl #TFE brawl #I bet bee had a polyamorous relationship with the stunticon’s cuz I say so

96 notes · View notes

seraphim-seeker · 21 days

Text

So I have a Mildly messed up TFP AU Idea that mostly revolves around Soundwave Angst.

So I thought up an AU where sadly yes, Rumble and Frenzy are dead BUT what Soundwave doesn’t know is that while they’ve been on Earth, Shockwave’s been experimenting on their corpses, rebuilding them, and shaping them into a new individual, they are built anew. Not as Rumble nor Frenzy, no she’s something else! She’s Enemy!

Of course when Shockwave does end up on Earth, Enemy following along. Soundwave notices but does react—not in the presence of Megatron— they kept it together until in their room….and just stand there not knowing how to feel or how act as they normally did aboard the nemesis when Enemy is here, when they can SEE who she used to be. It tears at them to see that Rumble and Frenzy just Gone.

#transformers #nova’s rambles #transformers prime #transformers angst #tfp soundwave #soundwave angst #tfp rumble #tfp frenzy #Tfp Enemy #I like Enemy and want to niggle them into tfp

10 notes · View notes

rin-rin-winter · 1 month

Text

YAY! I FINALLY FINISHED IT, GO CHECK OUT YOUTUBE!:3

#transformers autobots #transformers decepticons #transformers animated #transformers prime oc #transformers prime starscream #transformers prime #transformers angst #transformers memes #starscream #transformers starscream #starscream art

10 notes · View notes

spoopydaskeleton · 4 months

Text

I seem to have a track record of not being able to find things i once had even online as I am now searching for an edit i found on TikTok that haven't seen in forever and i want to see it again. Why does this happen to me, i need to bookmark or save this shit when/if I find it again.

For those who wish to help me find this edit it has the following:

Transformers prime Ratchet & bumblebee (It was specifically those two as the main focus)

It was angsty

It had the song 'This night had opened my eyes' by The Smiths

The person didn't know ratchets age so i think they either guessed or googled it

God i need help finding this because like the kai angst fic, this has been circling my head for a little bit now

#transformers angst #transformers edit #Help me find this edit #tfp bumblebee #tfp ratchet #transformers prime #maccadams #God I need to save this slag better

13 notes · View notes

bots-and-cons · 11 days

Note

Howdy again! Is it possible you could do the same prompt l asked last time (reader dies and turns cybertronian) but with Autobots instead of cons? Thank you so much!!!!

A/N: If someone’s interested in the decepticon version you can find that here. Ratchet has morals, hence no human experimentation on the autobots’ part

•You were taken by the decepticons and experimented on

•Ever since the whole thing with Silas, Knockout and Shockwave were both interested in if they could repeat the experiment

•It was mostly Shockwave though, Knockout thought what happened to Breakdown was absolutely disgusting, but he also wanted to know how it was done, so repeating the experiment on you was a chance for that

•So, they did their experiment, constructing you a body from vehicon parts and putting the necessary parts from you into it

•Anyway, the cons returned you to the autobots in a rather cruel manner, basically Megatron just tossed you at their feet saying something like “I believe this is your pet”

•Ratchet worked for days to make sure you would survive in your new body, but he had a lot of trouble, because he didn’t know how much at all about human anatomy or biology

•Shockwave and Knockout had already done most of the work for him though, so he just had to finish the job and make sure you would continue to stay alive

•When you woke up, you were very confused, and scared too

•Your head was all foggy, you couldn’t remember much of anything, certainly not how you’d come to be this way

•It took a couple of days for you to be even able to move your arms or legs, and being able to stand and walk took much longer

•Ratchet was there to look after you the whole time, someone had to be, because you were pretty confused most of the time

•You had a lot of gaps and holes in your memory, you knew things like your name and you knew the autobots were friendly or at least not a threat to you, but you didn’t know who they were or what they were like

•You also didn’t remember anything about how you’d been made into this thing you now were

•You knew you used to be human, but it felt like it had been a dream

•Optimus was of course furious that the decepticons had done this to you, but he kept it under control, so hardly anyone noticed

•Except for Ratchet of course, he was also horrified by what had been done to you and he honestly just tried not to think about it most of the time, because you were still alive

•Arcee was probably the most visibly furious about the whole thing, she even ranted a little about how this was the last straw, etc etc

•Bee was also seething, but his anger was more mixed with this overwhelming sadness and confusion, he had seen the decepticons committing countless atrocities, but this was undoubtedly among the worst

•The whole team had a very hard time understanding how the decepticons could do this, you were no threat to them

•They were all furious, but they tried to keep a lid on it, some managed that better than others, because they wanted to aid in your recovery

•Your recovery was very slow, but they all tried to be there for you as best as they could

•You had to learn to control your new body, and all that came with being a pseudo-cybertronian

•Ratchet kept scanning you constantly for the first three months, at least twice a day, more if something unusual happened

•You had a very hard time mentally for a long while, because of getting used to your new body, never being able to see your family/friends again, and the fact that you had been dead

•Even though you didn’t exactly remember how you had been experimented on, the whole thing still plagued you in your nightmares

#transformers #tfp #transformers prime #autobots #optimus prime #arcee #ratchet #bumblebee #tfp headcanons #transformers angst #reader insert #platonic transformers x reader

82 notes · View notes

justabunchofhyperfixations · 1 year

Text

I would like to point out how terrible of a mentor heatwave was to blurr in rescue bots

How good of a mentor he is to hot shot in academy

He’s learning. And I may need to write an Angsty fic of blurr wandering why he could change for hot shot but not him now. Ye

#maccadam #transformers rescue bots #transformers blurr #plot bunny #angsty #transformers angst #fic inspo #headcanons

57 notes · View notes

catnerdenby · 2 years

Text

"Transformers: Shattered Glass" *SPOILERS*

*inhale*

I have not experienced such sadness since "Hollow Mind".

Probably you don't care what happened but I will ramble anyway.

"Transformers: Shattered Glass" happened. Oh my fragging god. I am leaking water out of my eyes.

I cannot live with the ending. This shit broke my heart. I cannot control my profanities atm because I was exposed to large amount of curses earlier today.

It's all so twisted.

Basically, a mirror universe. Autobots bad, decepticons good(?). It had 5 chapters and were told from a different characters POV. It had the backstories, explaining how the war started, ended, and why it started.

This was not a fun time. But I did enjoy it.

Surprise, surprise! Starscream is not a dick, but Bumblebee/ Goldbug is. Optimus is like Megatron, but Megatron...isn't quite like Optimus.

Quite obviously I'm no Transformers expert, and I only saw tfp as a kid and recently rewatched "Rescue Bots" because it was also a part of my childhood. Currently watching "Transformers: Animated" (s2 finale). No other experiences.

So I don't know most of these characters and many designs are unfamiliar to me. But the characters I knew a bit better...holy balooey that shit's scary.

Starscream fucking died. Goldbug just stabbed him and then ripped out his spark, which held the key to communicating the Titan. Sadly the comic seems to be discontinued, so kind of a cliffhanger.

I know I'm kinda all over the place rn, but I can't contain it-

I love Starscream's character. Pathetic little cockroach. But in Shattered Glass, he was a hero. And damn. I might be enjoying hero Starscream more than antagonist Starscream. Either way, he's cool.

Btw, that glitch deserves a fucking redemption arc. At least in "Transformers: Prime" he did.

Anyways, I'm tired and I got to express all those Transformers thoughts I had. Might come back with a decepticon OC later. Believe me, she's cool. Also Seeker, btw

#transformers #transformers: shattered glass #bby boy died #sadness #angst #transformers angst

12 notes · View notes

cozzzynook · 8 months

Text

Bumblebee just casually admitting the life he lived before becoming an autobot. It’s admittedly terrifying how calm and detached he sounds as he reveals he wasn’t a regular citizen bot like the others believed him to be. They each had their fair share of trauma but they never imagined Bumblebee to have the most horrifying past between them.

And the most terrifying thing about the little mech was how indifferent he seemed as he talked about it. He gave little detail but it was enough to shake them at their core. His usual childish and bright optics looked far too aged and dim to belong to someone so young and typically full of life. The way he carried himself when he spoke of life on the streets as a sparkling forced to result to being a pleasurebot at such a young build made their sparks turn and their tanks rock solid with despair and unease.

Bumblebee did not meet optic to optic with them when it slipped the first time nor did he look their direction the second time. His teammates made sure he was out of earshot when they purged their tanks at such revelations no matter how short, clipped and brief.

Bumblebee always kept a slight distance once it was brought up and made sure the others were at arms reach for days on end, unable to take how their optics looked at him.

Telling it casually to Blitzwing one night during their secret meetings was honestly a slip up he hadn’t meant to let happen. He had no intentions of telling the con anything vital of himself nor had he any want of the con laughing at his hidden past that he preferred be kept a secret.

He remembers staring with empty optics at the cons chassis before lifting himself expertly off the overly thick and painfully large spike as he stood on shaking stabilizers. Letting the excess energon and transfluids slip from his throbbing and stretched out valve as he closed his port and began the slow shaky trek back to base.

He waved a servo over his helm in parting making it a few steps away before being gripped around his waist and pulled flush against Blitzwings burning chassis armor.

“Vhat did jou just say?”

The deadly calm tone coming Hothead of all mechs was enough to ruffle Bumblebee’s empty optics and void spark.

“Put me down please.”

His request was not granted and the flashes of his teammates haunting optics crowded his processor keeping him from looking at Blitzwing’s face plates.

The triple changer didn’t bother with demanding his bug look at him, he didn’t bother to force him into conversation nor did he do anything more than heave tornado vent after vent in an attempt to cool himself internally.

Blitzwing simply held him close chassis to chassis, spark to spark, trembling frame that quaked in barely contained rage to a frozen shut frame that barely held life as Bumblebee leaked steady coolant.

There was nothing more than a shell that carved his face plates as he was held against Blitzwing. The bot gripped him tight in an effort to keep both himself and the other afloat. It was as if the con feared letting the bug go meant letting the last of his sanity go and he just couldn’t.

“please…”

Blitzwing didn’t bother trying to ask what those words meant, he wasn’t sure he could handle hearing such a broken vox and see a broken bot he grew to deeply care for more than he ever let on.

Blitzwing may have a fractured mind from undergoing the triple changer procedure but he was by no means a bucket bolt dolt. He knew there was something that haunted every bot in the ongoing war. In some way everyone was affected by something and he knew Bumblebee was no exception no matter how bright and cheery the little yellow bug was.

But this. This?

He was never expecting this of all things.

A bot like Bumblebee didn’t deserve to have suffered a fate such as this. He knew something was up when from the very beginning the bot was far too experienced for someone so young. At first he chalked it up to the mini bot having been in boot camp with other mechs. But when his bug revealed he didn’t interface with anyone besides one bot in particular during boot camp he was highly suspicious and wildly jealous at the idea of it being one of two suspected teammates.

But when his bug said the green one was only a close friend and he had no romantic or physical interest in the black and gold mech he was hostile at it being the Prime. Bumblebee outright rejected the idea of even being with Prime and the old medic was never an option and so Blitzwing grew nervous, deep in his spark he knew something was wrong but he didn’t want to believe anything but his bug being ashamed at having berthed so many partner bots.

He never hinted nor openly pried simply enjoyed holding his bug close and being sure to interface as intimately as his bug allowed.

Could he hold his bug by the faceplates as he kissed along his dermas? Letting his servos clasp curved slim hips with an affection he found within he never knew could exist. He wanted his bug gripping his hip struts tight with shaking stabilizers. He wanted to hear those delicious moans surround his audios as yellow servos scraped the paint from his shoulders. His processor dreamed of the day he could fill his bugs tight vavle with his own transfluid, safe in a berth from any war that rages as he envisions the family he once longed for eons ago. Before the war erupted, before factions existed, before he tasted the energon of his fallen comrades and the metals of his enemies.

He wanted so many things before war took hold and grabbed him. Things he’d abandoned in the face of an endless war and cruel existence forced upon him by unyielding bots who pushed them to the brink of collapse in a war they never let physically touch their servos.

Oh how he longed for such an existence with his bug who never spoke of sparklings nor family besides his small faction on Earth. To Blitzwing they were more comrades to his bug besides the big green one and the little human he’s seen his bug look at fondly. It pulled something in his spark to see his bug give a carriers affection to the little creature regardless of how much he hates most of human kind.

But now as his split processor flickers between the memories of his bug so tenderly holding the human as he moved about in front of his base to the sight of him cradling something a bit bigger. Something that beeped and squirmed, happy to be his bugs arms, close to the familiar beat of his spark, little fuzzy optics recognizing him and giggling something pure as they try to reach out to him.

To the empty blue he risks his spark for by meeting with him, separating him on the battlefield to hold him in desperate servos, thinking of fleeing his faction all for the sake of living eternity with the one bot whose mere presence granted his haunted and screaming processor and battle hardened and broken spark peace.

“mien hummel…”

“don’t.”

Its wispy and aching, pained by a life Blitzwing himself has never been forced to imagine. It breaks his spark and his digestion tanks churn painfully until he feels his sunrise of rations will come back up his throat past his glossa.

“I still,” it’s interrupted yet again by his bug who lashes out with anger, a pede hitting against his insignia and a servo pushing against his face plate. But Blitzwing is just as stubborn as his hummel if not more stubborn in such a crucial moment.

“I von’t let you go,” he whispers in his hummels audial, dermas ghosting over a faded scar, “mein hummel, no matter what jour mein hummel.”

Blitzwing did not ever lie and say he was good with comforting or words for that matter but it seems the few words he did speak from the spark and the spark driven back strut crushing hug he had on the little yellow scout spoke more than he physically could.

He hated the feeling of Bumblebee’s coolant dripping down into his neck cables, the painful grip that chipped paint along his neck guards from tiny servos that were shaking. The deafening silence of Bumblebee’s leaking accompanied with a painful quiver of his mini frame that seemed so much smaller as the little scout curled into him.

Blitzwing didn’t see his day taking a turn in this direction but he would gladly deal with the emotional strain if it meant helping his hummel.

Be it tracking down each and every bot that dared touch his precious bug or the people who cruelly left Bumblebee to fend for himself as a mere spark and youngling on the cold dirty streets of their home planet. He would find and hunt them down making them wish their spark had never been forged.

But if his bug wanted nothing more, could handle nothing more, than having him curled above his very spark. Audio pressed to hear every pump of life sustaining energon work through his frame under the protection of the night. Whispering promises his spark long shed darkness over in fear of his previous wants and desires coming to light among comrades and his leader.

He would do it.

His bug, his hummel, his Bumblebee— was more than worth it.

130 notes · View notes