my transition journey in pictures
before realizing i’m trans (she/her)
coming out as nb (they/them)
coming out as a trans guy (he/him)
last photo before starting T (he/him)
first photo (roughly) after top surgery (he/him)
one year on T (he/him)
two years on T (he/him…..?)
two years post-op (he/him….?)
today, two and a half years on T and settling on the label of a genderqueer trans man (he/they!)
it’s been a long journey and there’s still so much to come but i want every young trans person who thinks it won’t get better to know that it does, it totally does. i remember being that scared girl, unsure of what she was, and i remember being that scared boy, scared of not passing enough and being too much of a burden on people. today i’m comfortable knowing that i’m both nonbinary and a man, and that’s ok. some people might not understand at first, but those who matter will try. if someone tries to deny your existence, they don’t belong in your life. being trans is a beautiful experience, a painful, hard, tedious, yet ultimately worth it experience. i’ve lost people along the way while i’ve become myself, but i grew stronger than who they were trying to force me to be.
tl;dr : it does get better. keep fighting
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What to expect from Testosterone from just starting to 2 1/2 years
hi friends, i just hit my 2 and a half year mark on T, and i’m going to summarize all the changes in chronological order! this is gonna be long so buckle up
- SWEAT. so much sweat. the middle of winter? sweat. summer? EVEN MORE sweat. it was the first thing that happened to me, and i felt gross until i got used to it. weirdly enough, the strong body odor wouldn’t really come until 3 months, but by that time, i was already wearing a lot of deodorant to help with the sweat so i didn’t stink. i still have an almost permanently shiny face tho
- oils. your body starts to get oily and combined with the sweat you’re just glistening and you suddenly understand what greasy pizza feels like. you’re an oily snack.
- acne. because of the sweat and oils, your pores start to get clogged and acne begins to form. it’s also natural to get more persistent acne even if you have a skin care routine. remember, you’re essentially a teenage boy going through puberty. you’re gonna get acne and it’s gonna last for a few years. i still have persistent acne
- hunger. i was so fucking hungry for the first few months on t, starting right after i started t. try to keep eating healthy but it’s good to satisfy that hunger because your body is using a lot of energy shifting and also you’re literally going through puberty and that’s when cis guys eat like crazy
- leg hair thickens and darkens. it’s so fun!!! my leg hair also got a lot longer even tho i stopped shaving a while before i started T. if you already have thick hair/have family with arm hair, it won’t be just your legs. i just am like my moms side of the family and they don’t have a lot of leg hair to begin with let alone arm hair so i had to start from scratch
- start of bottom growth. at this point, your clitoris is going to start to grow. this is because when a baby is in the womb, they begin growing as female, giving the babies nipples and female genitalia. a wave of progesterone happens at a point and at this point, the baby develops in a way that will make them be assigned either male or female at birth. if the baby grows to be amab, testosterone amount grows in the body and the clitoris the baby has gets bigger and the urethra elongates and goes through the now penis, and the vagina closes and the labias majora and minora seal to create the ballsack (which is why there’s a seam on the ballsack) and testicles form in the ballsack. that’s essentially what t is trying to do to you. it’s recognizing the increased testosterone and is trying to grow the penis that would have been grown in fetal development. this normally hurts like a burning sensation, because the clitoris is a bunch of nerves and those nerve endings growing and shifting is painful. just get an ice pack or a heating pad (whatever helps you specifically) and put it between your legs.
- start of voice drop. it won’t be a drastic change, but you may start having voice cracks and your voice may become more ambiguous sounding. it will continue to deepen the longer you’re on t, and it normally hits its peak around 2 years. mine is still getting deeper, but it’s much less drastic than the 1 year to 2 year range
- potential facial hair growth
- menstruation should be stopped by now if not already stopped by norethindrone
- by this point you’re probably feeling a rollercoaster of emotions. again, it’s puberty. you’re feeling teen angst. you may feel gross. you may feel more irritable. you won’t cry as easily to the point when it’s frustrating when you’re really worked up and just CANT cry it out. you get used to it, don’t worry
- facial hair continues to grow. mostly starts of as baby fuzz but will thicken up over time. i started getting facial hair on my side burns first, then on my chin and neck. even at 2 1/2 years, my beard isn’t fully formed, it’s patchy and needs some more time but it started here
- face structure begins to change from softer to more angular
- fat redistribution. fat moves away from the hips and butt to the stomach and legs. potential weight gain as it shifts
- muscle mass changes. muscles start to appear bulkier without working out. will affect weight as muscle is heavier than fat
- continuing and increase in what i mentioned before
- here’s where my voice went from slightly getting lower to a full on drop
- upper body is settling into either a rectangular shape or a triangle shape, depending on what you’re starting with. even if you get to a rectangle shape here, you may reach a triangle later on (like i did).
- this is also the point where top surgeons start accepting referrals for the procedure. personally, my doctor did 6 months on T, but most doctors like 6months to a year on T
- leg muscles settle into place, as it can be a bit irregular up until this point (i had thick thighs and small calves up until this point)
- slow steady muscle building and bulking up. i went from being drowned in my new Philadelphia Flyers jersey i got for christmas last year to completely filling it out a year later. slow and steady wins the race my friends
- if your acne hasn’t gotten better with a skin care routine, or is becoming cystic, i suggest seeing a dermatologist. they can give you antibiotics and creams
- intense hunger starts to die down, as well as mood irregularities
- voice should be pretty deep at this point, and your body has gotten used to the thickened vocal chords so it doesn’t strain your body anymore to talk in a deep voice, it comes naturally. if you’re still having trouble at this point, consider doing vocal training
and that’s all i got folks, i may update this post when i hit 3 years to add what happened between the second and third year but i hope this helps!
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