#transphobia mention (brief)

[disabledunitypunk]

I want to revisit exactly why we founded this blog in the first place.

I was viscerally reminded of it while scrolling an entirely different liberation tag. I found a post that I liked and went to the blog to see if I might like to follow them. The second recent post on their blog was this, which as I was reading I found myself relating to.

Warning for uncensored references to slurs. This is done for readability in the context of talking about them, and the slurs are neither being aimed at anyone nor reclaimed in this context, even where reclaimable.

You know how you look back at past shitty connections, friends, family dynamics, and relationships and you're like "I can't believe I let them treat me that way"? I think it hits differently with disability because when you're disabled you don't always even know that you're being mistreated and/ or abused in regards to it.

I know statistically disabled people are more likely to be abused but sometimes there's an additional type of abuse that's hard to identify even in hindsight because no one tells you how abusive it is.

But ableist abuse relating to your disability can look like:

Pushing you to do things beyond your limitations despite their awareness of them.

Blaming you for the "inconveniences" brought on by things beyond your control (ex: missing a movie because you had to wait for your pain meds to kick in).

Not allowing you to take breaks or antagonizing you when you do.

Bullying or making fun of things you can't help like gait, a lisp, an embarrassing symptom.

Trying to "cure" or "fix" you, often framing it as "helping" you. Sometimes they look similar and you might be able to tell by their reaction towards lack of improvement.

Holding over you the things they have to do for you (cooking, cleaning, driving, working, etc).

Giving ultimatums that demand things of you that you can't do (getting a job, keeping up with multiple chores).

Using insulting terms, language, and/or slurs that you have not permitted them to or in a context where there is intent to harm you.

Interrogating you about your disability or trying to find discrepancies between your experiences and what they've heard/read/seen about it.

Implying or saying anything along the lines of you faking, being lazy, or exaggerating.

Reducing you to a hypochondriac, saying you enjoy being disabled because you seem to like having things done for you, or that you're lazy or abusing them by depending on them for things.

Asking you about it not to learn more, but to use it against you in some way.

Having a martyr complex, acting as if they're a hero for giving you the support you deserve.

Calling you a burden, implying you to be one, or treating you like one.

Acting like you owe them a debt, sometimes even demanding some kind of repayment. Keeping track of money they spend on you that you won't be able to pay back, feeling entitled to things like control, sex, a portion of government benefits, etc.

Self victimizing. They act like you being disabled causes more suffering to themselves than you.

Accusing you of being addicted to your medication. If you genuinely develop an addiction a normal response is concern not rage, finger pointing, etc. if you don't have one baseless claims are very harmful

Trying to force you to stop "depending" on things you need like medication and disability aids

Comparing you to others that are doing "better" than you. Maybe showing you inspiration porn of someone with no legs for example doing incredible things- which is great for them but the "I don't let my disability stop me so you can do anything" shit is harmful. Some of us will get very unwell if we try, and some just can't.

Trying to make others also see you as dramatic, faking, or lazy. Often embarrassing and mocking you as well.

Withholding things you need like medication or disability aids as a punishment

Saying your disability is karma or something inflicted by a divine entity/religious figure. Maybe as punishment for not praying, being queer, or something else they disagree with.

Saying that it's a result of being "promiscuous"/ LGBT. For instance if you have HIV or ME/ CFS that was a result of something like mononucleosis ("kissing disease")

Shaming you for things related to your disability beyond your control or expressing embarrassment over these things. including but not limited to: appearance (general but also things like say a lupus butterfly rash or weight gain/loss), having to lay down in public (ex: with POTS), inability to keep up with hygiene, etc.

Lacking boundaries and acting as if they are entitled to information or intrusion of your space/belongings due to the power they hold over you and assistance they may provide.

Implying/saying you're living an extended vacation. Maybe one they say they wish they had because they have to do x y z while you "sit around"

Abandoning you solely for your disability (ex: because you can't hang out, they don't want a disabled partner, think you're faking, etc)

Note that someone doing one or two of these things a few times doesn't always mean they're abusing you (also depends on which). It's about the patterns and frequency of this behavior as well as refusal to improve once aware that they're hurting you. People who care about you don't want to hurt you and the normal response is to do their best not to repeat the action that negatively affected you

There are more examples and you can feel free to list some

Except it was then, at the very bottom, followed by:

✨This is about physical illnesses and disabilities, please don't derail✨

So let's go point by point, shall we?

Pushing you to do things beyond your limitations despite their awareness of them.

This is universal to all forms of disability, and in fact neurodisabled people are often pushed beyond their limitations by people aware of them precisely because those people think neurodivergence can't be profoundly disabling, rather than thinking a specific individual's physical disability isn't so in their specific case or based on their specific diagnosis.

Blaming you for the "inconveniences" brought on by things beyond your control (ex: missing a movie because you had to wait for your pain meds to kick in).

While this one is universal to abuse in general, I have no problem with a post about ableism focusing on ableist abuse. There is in fact a unique manifestation of this kind of abuse with ableism, where the things that are beyond your control specifically are also causing significant distress to you, as opposed to another aspect of your life like a physical feature or care breaking down or something that is either neutral or external.

However, it is in fact not only not exclusive to physical disability, but in fact one of the primary ways neuroableism manifests, because neuroableism relies on blaming individuals for things beyond their control by pushing the narrative that it would be in our control if we just "tried harder". This is not unique to neuroableism, either; corpoableism very much does this too, precisely because it relies on the sanist ideology that physically disabled folks are not intellectually capable of knowing our own disabilities and limits.

Erasing either type from the narrative would be wrong and lead to a reductive and facile understanding of ableism.

Not allowing you to take breaks or antagonizing you when you do.

Once again universal. Not being allowed to take breaks for neurodisabled people can lead to burnout, PTSD, self-injury, brain damage, traumagenically triggered development of chronic pain disorders and chronic illness, and more.

Bullying or making fun of things you can't help like gait, a lisp, an embarrassing symptom.

Once again universal, and I'd like to point out that gait can be and lisps usually are neurological in nature. They are very much physical manifestations of what are often or even primarily neurological conditions, and are in those cases considered forms of neurodivergence.

Trying to "cure" or "fix" you, often framing it as "helping" you. Sometimes they look similar and you might be able to tell by their reaction towards lack of improvement.

Autism S/peaks exists for this exact reason. "Curing" divergences in functional neurology is the entire basis of sanism and therefore fighting it is a fundamental part of the very foundation of mad liberation. This is actually a form of ableism more prevalent against neurodivergence, especially unpalatable neurodivergence, than physical disability. It is even present against nondisabling neurodivergence (that which causes neither distress nor dysfunction), which is an important facet to consider in understanding how ableism functions - even solely against people who ARE disabled.

Holding over you the things they have to do for you (cooking, cleaning, driving, working, etc).

Yet again universal. Somehow I wonder if this person thinks neurodisabilities aren't actually, well, disabling. Neurodisabilities can make you unable to cook, clean, drive, work, make appointments and access care, do paperwork required to receive the "benefits" you need to survive, and more, just as physical disabilities can.

Giving ultimatums that demand things of you that you can't do (getting a job, keeping up with multiple chores).

Again, neurodisabilities are disabling.

Using insulting terms, language, and/or slurs that you have not permitted them to or in a context where there is intent to harm you.

Retard. Stupid. Crazy. Idiot. Insane. Dumb. Sociopath. Bipolar. Narcissist. Psychopath. Schizo. Antisocial.

Just because you refuse to recognize many of these as slurs doesn't make them not slurs, and they are certainly "insulting terms and language". The ones mentioned are specifically often weaponized against neurodisabled people based on various aspects of their neurodisabilities, and not always based on the exact definitional meaning or common usage of the slur. For example, a person with ADHD might be called "insane" for finding their ADHD profoundly disabling, despite ADHD not typically being considered under the umbrella of disorders/neurodivergencies most impacted by sanism.

Interrogating you about your disability or trying to find discrepancies between your experiences and what they've heard/read/seen about it.

Refusing to recognize autism outside of "Rain Man" stereotypes. Refusing to recognize inattentive and mixed subtypes of ADHD. Refusing to recognize cluster B disorders if a person seems "nice". Refusing to recognize OCD outside of excessive cleaning. Refusing to recognize complex dissociative disorders outside of a very narrow definition that excludes medically recorded and accepted presentations of CDDs. Refusing to recognize psychosis and schizospec disorders in anyone who is able to express themselves.

Those are just some of the many extremes that we have personal experience with - never mind the more subtle and insidious forms of this kind of abuse that don't involve outright fakeclaiming and barred access from treatment/support.

Implying or saying anything along the lines of you faking, being lazy, or exaggerating.

Not only is this a primary manifestation of neuroableism, but it is in fact the one that is most prevalent in disabled community infighting and discourse, most typically weaponized against neurodisabled people. This one is particularly ironic for that reason - physically disabled neurodisabled people are called abled or told we are pretending or want to be more disabled than we actually are the instant we dare to talk about how our disabling neurodivergence profoundly disables us; let alone that we AND "physically abled" neurodisabled people do not in fact gain access to abled privilege.

Reducing you to a hypochondriac, saying you enjoy being disabled because you seem to like having things done for you, or that you're lazy or abusing them by depending on them for things.

*Stares directly at pretend camera like I'm on The Office*.

Another one at least as equally prevalent against neurodisabled people, though for this one I hesitate to claim more so. I've found that our experiences with chronic pain and executive dysfunction are near-identical in this respect.

Asking you about it not to learn more, but to use it against you in some way.

Having a martyr complex, acting as if they're a hero for giving you the support you deserve.

Calling you a burden, implying you to be one, or treating you like one.

Acting like you owe them a debt, sometimes even demanding some kind of repayment. Keeping track of money they spend on you that you won't be able to pay back, feeling entitled to things like control, sex, a portion of government benefits, etc.

Self victimizing. They act like you being disabled causes more suffering to themselves than you.

Doing these all together because they're all related.

Autism warrior moms are the most visible example of this, but people who act in any sort of caretaker role to disabled people, related or not, do this all the time. They do this regardless of specific disability. Parents of disabled children and partners of disabled people (and friends and other relations) are all "heroes" in societies eyes, and often not only don't challenge that, but wield it against their children/partners/friend/etc.

Also, the entire concept of "narcissistic abuse" is just this.

Accusing you of being addicted to your medication. If you genuinely develop an addiction a normal response is concern not rage, finger pointing, etc. if you don't have one baseless claims are very harmful

Trying to force you to stop "depending" on things you need like medication and disability aids

Withholding things you need like medication or disability aids as a punishment

Grouping these together a bit out of order because they're also related. The addiction narrative is especially common with antidepressants, anti anxiety meds, and especially ADHD meds. My own abusive parent tried to get me off my meds for this reason.

This is also the reason meds like ADHD meds are systemically refused and withheld - the anti-addict narratives, fear of "dependence" and withholding meds as a "punishment" for challenging the narrative that disabled people can't know their own disabilities or that a psychiatric professional might know less or be wrong about them.

Accessibility aids that are necessary for preventing meltdowns and/or shutdowns such as stim toys, light-sensitivity glasses, noise-canceling headphones, and such, are also often withheld because they don't want you to "depend" on them or as punishment.

Comparing you to others that are doing "better" than you. Maybe showing you inspiration porn of someone with no legs for example doing incredible things- which is great for them but the "I don't let my disability stop me so you can do anything" shit is harmful. Some of us will get very unwell if we try, and some just can't.

Yes, and Albert Einstein was autistic. Vincent Van Gogh was suicidally depressed and schizophrenic - and the fact he did some of his best art while actively being treated for these is erased. Edgar Allen Poe, among other things, likely had a seizure disorder - which is a form of neurodivergence as much as a physical disability. There's dozens of examples of this for just about any given neurodisability, whether with someone famous or simply another family member with the same diagnosis, just as there is for a given physical disability.

Saying your disability is karma or something inflicted by a divine entity/religious figure. Maybe as punishment for not praying, being queer, or something else they disagree with.

Another universal one, but especially applies to depression, self-harm, and suicidal ideation.

Saying that it's a result of being "promiscuous"/ LGBT. For instance if you have HIV or ME/ CFS that was a result of something like mononucleosis ("kissing disease")

This is so far, the first one I've seen that primarily affects people who are physically chronically ill (though ME/CFS actually specifically causes neurodivergence in the form of profound cognitive disability - an example of how systemic physical conditions are often partially neurodivergent in nature due to the simple physical organ responsible for consciousness being affected).

While there are outliers, such as trauma disorders resulting from abuse occurring in a queer relationship that you have less recourse and resources for in a queermisic society, I think it's at least possible to have a conversation about this one centered on physical disabilities without excluding a group just as severely and commonly effected.

However, it is neither distracting from a conversation nor decentering the most effected to simply acknowledge that even this is not wholly exclusive to physical disability, and it in fact enriches the conversation and makes measures which fight it more effective to analyze the totality of how this form of ableist abuse is used against people.

That's... kinda the whole basis of the theory of intersectionality.

Shaming you for things related to your disability beyond your control or expressing embarrassment over these things. including but not limited to: appearance (general but also things like say a lupus butterfly rash or weight gain/loss), having to lay down in public (ex: with POTS), inability to keep up with hygiene, etc.

I'm not sure if this is just a more specific repeat of the second point or a similar but different manifestation of it, but as someone with physical disabilities that come with flushing and rashes, with POTS, and whose inability to keep up with hygiene is as related to their neurodivergence as their physical disabilities: this I would say is more common in terms of appearance with physical disabilities but equally as common in terms of hygiene with neurodisabilities.

Some exceptions include Down Syndrome, FASD, and even some disabling intersex variations in specific contexts for appearance; and it's worth noting that hygiene is slightly more commonly weaponized against those with invisible disabilities than those with very visible ones in either case, though cases of significant acne and other skin conditions are a large exception to this as well.

Lacking boundaries and acting as if they are entitled to information or intrusion of your space/belongings due to the power they hold over you and assistance they may provide.

Once again a very basic form of abuse, but made worse by the inherent hierarchical power imbalance of being abled while you are disabled (or in some cases, being disabled but a parent or disabled but having financial power over you in any relationship). This is actually one of the single most prevalent types of child abuse specifically, but especially against both neurodisabled and physically disabled children.

Implying/saying you're living an extended vacation. Maybe one they say they wish they had because they have to do x y z while you "sit around"

Hm, I wonder if neurodisabled people ever have the distressing and disabling aspects of their neurodisabilities erased while people act like they are on vacation while being profoundly disabled by their brain to the point of being unable to work. /sarcasm

Abandoning you solely for your disability (ex: because you can't hang out, they don't want a disabled partner, think you're faking, etc)

Is your disability disabling? Then this in fact likely applies to you! I don't know a single neurodivergent or physically disabled person who hasn't experienced this, even amongst neurodivergent people that are in their own words not very disabled by their neurodivergence.

So out of 27 examples, exactly one is primarily experienced by physically disabled people.

Somehow I fail to see how it is "derailing" to acknowledge forms of ableism as experienced equally by neurodisabled people, but I do find conversations of ableism actually derailed by insisting on not letting a significant portion of the disabled community (including what is a significant portion if not a majority of the physically disabled community) talk about the full extent of their experiences with ableism.

Or, to put it more simply, it is derailing discussions of ableism to insist that they are exclusive to physically disabled people when they are not, and especially to accuse other physically disabled people of derailing if they talk about how their experiences with ableism are intersectional with and even inseparable from their neurodivergence.

I have an example to add to this list after all: DARVO, an acronym which stands for Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and offender. When you deny that neurodisabled people face this ableism (or that they face it at similar rates, to the same extent, etc), attack them for bringing that up, and act like they are being ableist while you erase disabled people's experiences with ableism, you are guilty of this.

This is the whole reason we coined unitypunk and made this account - to address lateral ableism within the community and erasure of both corpoableism from neurodisabled folks and neuroableism from physically disabled folks. The community has been more successfully fractured by this discourse than any fed psy-op could ever have done or even hoped for, and part of fighting that is refusing to tolerate ableism in our spaces and reminding people that we have a common goal - total liberation for ALL disabled people.

When you perpetuate ableism against one part of the community, you reaffirm the structures that oppress us all.

There are in fact conversations to be had about variances in oppression that cause unique forms of abuse towards physically disabled people - such as how the slightest of slopes or uneven surfaces can make a "walkable" city utterly inaccessible to mobility aid users, or even the microaggression of the term for a city that is supposed to be more accessible specifically focusing on those who can walk, a language choice which often shapes the inattention towards accessibility needs when planning these spaces. Another fundamentally interrelated example of this is lack of masking and social distancing during the ongoing pandemic - in another way effectively shutting disabled people out of public spaces.

There's also conversations to be had about the unique forms of ableism that affect neurodisabled people - such as the carceral institutionalization of neurodivergent people for anything from refusing to medicate psychosis whether or not it is causing distress or dysfunction, to being plural, to being suicidal, to being autistic and a hacker, and all the forms of violence and especially suppression of neurodivergent identity that come with that.

I want it to be clear: I chose two examples I am directly affected by that I consider equally serious precisely to illustrate how important both of those conversations are. The utter erasure and apathy towards making even the most tiny of steps that are inconsequential for abled people towards accessibility in public spaces that make them completely inaccessible for us as physically disabled people, and the incarceration of neurodisabled people and forced "correction" of our neurodivergence are massive forms of structural ableism that massively impact us as disabled people on a daily level.

The narratives used to justify these forms of oppression often rely on one another to function, and that's a really important part of the conversation! Disabled people are "crazy" for demanding we be taken into consideration when planning accessibility because either "we already are" (except it's ramps that are utterly unusable or similar that is just an elaborate display allowing abled people to get away with patting themselves on the back for doing less than nothing) or because "the pandemic is over" or similar.

Disabled people need to be locked up "for our own good" to cure us of the sickness ravaging our brains until we are compliant - and mental illness diagnoses are weaponized against physically disabled people and we are enforced to endure CBT for chronic pain and illness as a form of medical gaslighting because really, our disabilities and the ableism we face are just "thought distortions".

This is again, basic intersectional theory. Conversations about transphobia are enriched by discussing where transandromisia, transmisogyny, and exorsexism overlap and interact, as well as how these all rely heavily on and perpetuate intersexism. Conversations about the unique ways pluralmisia manifests based on perceived and actual origin and disordered status and how much of pluralmisia relies on sanism and oppression of mad and especially psychotic people benefit from acknowledging all of that, while also acknowledging that aspects of pluralmisia exist independently of sanism and manifest uniquely for nondisordered and endogenic plurals, as well as for plural non-systems.

At the same time, there are conversations to be had centered on the unique forms of oppression within a marginalized group. In my experience, conversations about exorsexism and ceteromisia in particular need a space to focus on the marginalization of those who aren't binary or binary-adjacent, despite exorsexism overlapping significantly with binary forms of transphobia and gender essentialism and bioessentialism based in those false binaries.

Another example that I can speak less to, but want to acknowledge, is the variations in anti-black, anti-indigenous, anti-AAPI, and other forms of racism. Racism as a rule doesn't map in a lot of ways to other forms of oppression and so comparing them as such is often clumsy at best and actively racist at worst.

Given how much eugenics and white supremacism and colonialism rely on and inform ableism in turn, though, I think it's important to bring up. Examples such as schizophrenia being recategorized to diagnose black civil rights activists as violent crazy people so their imprisonment and experimentation on could be "justified" to white society - where it was previously considered a disorder of white housewives; black asylum prisoners being the primary victims of lobotomies and other experimentation; the overdiagnosis of oppositional defiant disorder and other conduct disorders in (typically autistic) black children are some of the ones I'm most aware of.

I am aware however that my knowledge on the subject is sorely lacking and welcome all people of color to add to this part of the conversation.

All this to say - I started this blog to try and open these conversations up. I have definitely been guilty of being reactive myself (and speaking for other headmates as well) in response to ableism and cruelty. I don't mean to tone-police myself or anyone else, but I do want to acknowledge that we personally want to move away from that and feel that doing so will make us specifically more effective as facilitators in this conversation.

Every time we add a related perspective to a conversation and someone says "oh, yes, and also this", it reminds us that the goal of unitypunk in addressing ableism as it affects all disabled people and rejecting ableism within our communities is possible. Every time someone has the courage to add a perspective we did not consider to our posts, we are grateful that they took the time and effort to foster solidarity and educate us and others on it.

We always wanted to create a supportive community and movement that welcomes diverse experiences and perspectives, and allows the valuable insight of different people to enrich our conversations about and activism against ableism. We've been far from perfect in doing so, but even where we've disagreed on matters that specifically affect us and our specific disability, we have no end of appreciation for every participant who has recognized our humanity and disability.

If you agree that at the end of the day, organizing with the ultimate goal of liberation matters most, and that fighting ableism wherever it occurs is the most important thing, you are embodying unitypunk. It's a movement that refuses to handwave ableism as "disagreements", but also refuses to let true disagreements stand in the way of standinf unified against ableism.

We hope that going forward, we can continue to create a safe and accepting space where all disabled people can have both these focused and general conversations about ableism, while specifically making sure to include everyone affected by said ableism.

#unitypunk #ableism #sanism #neuroableism #corpoableism #neurodivergence #physical disability #cw brief mention of suicidality #cw brief mention of self-harm #cw psych abuse #cw psych hospitalization #cw brief mention of 'narc abuse' (in context of it being ableist) #racism #transphobia #intersectionality

[queendeeshorrorimagines]

Short Fanfic please? a chubby, trans masc. s/o (He/HIm) with Pinhead/Elliot Spencer. Lookin' for a pick me up of some sort...something romantic if possible.Rating can be up to you. (Started T again recently after a while and I'm feeling extra emotional lately...) I am prepping for eventual top surgery later in the year, and dysphoria's been a real killer...i am sorry if it's a tough request. Any amount of support helps, honestly. --K

I'm so sorry for the long wait. Between work and writers block from hell, I've been struggling. I hope that you enjoy this!

FtM/ trans masc reader

Warnings: mentions of transphobia (not from elliot, a side character), violence (not towards reader)

Word count: 640

An Angel to Some...

You were curled up in a fetal position as your arms wrapped around your chest, hugging yourself in an attempt to soothe yourself from a rather horrible day. Tears pebbled down the sides of your cheeks as you softly hiccup from your sobbing. 

 It was already a bad day because of the combination of your dysmorphia and the constant harassment by your coworkers, the constant verbal abuse coming from your parents only made your day more unbearable. 

 It didn't help that your manager accused you of being on your phone when you weren't even on it in the first place. To top it all off, you've been dealing with the recovery of your top surgery. 'Can I get a break for once today.' You mentally vented to yourself. 

A soft lullaby faintly echoed your bedroom as you looked towards the antique puzzle box that you got from an unmarked package that only had your name on it, sitting on your bedside table. 

Curiosity filled your mind as you carefully grabbed the box, the music becoming louder. It was rather soothing as you started to touch the textured lines of the puzzle box. You could tell that the box was well built from the minimum damage the box had. The sudden thoughts about opening the box filled your mind intrusively as your sons slowed to the occasional hiccups and runny nose.

The longer that the box was in your hands, the more intense the desire of wanting to solve the puzzle you felt. A loud banging could be heard from your bedroom door as you gave into temptation, carefully solving the puzzle. 

Light illuminated your room slowly, making your vision slightly hazy as you continued to solve the puzzle. Your body felt as if it was on high alert as the banging on your door grew louder and more frantic, your father was slurring out words of anger out of an intoxicated rage. 

Pushing the piece in, the light became brighter, blinding you temporarily as you heard the sound of chains and a distant chattering noise growing closer and louder as your father broke his way through the door. 

As the smoky lights begin to clear away you see chains swung towards your father, ripping his flesh away from his body. His screams brought you a sadistic sense of pleasure and fear as you wished many times that he would feel the pain and suffering that you've felt. 

Time felt nonexistent as the leader of the trio continued his sadistic game towards the man who was supposed to be your father. As the cries died down, the leader turned his attention towards your shaking form, using one of his chains to obtain the box from your bed. 

His gaze was intense against you as he took in the sight of you. His eyes met yours, as if he was looking through you. If it wasn't for the fact that the demon just killed your father, you might've been more crushing on him. Yet, his presence felt safe to you, almost arousing as he made his way towards you. 

The Male's obsidian eyes popped on his pale skin as the metal of the pins sticking out of his head shined duly in your dimly lit room. The leather outfit he wore framed his body perfectly, showcasing the hooks coming out of his chest and stomach. 

"I- I didn't know that opening the box would summon you.." you stammered, afraid that he would hurt you next. The Male's hand gently touched the side of your cheek, his thumb was uncharacteristically careful as he brushed the stray tear away as you continued to speak. 

"Who are you?..." you asked, welcoming his touch. The leather spoke up, his powerful voice causing shivers to go down your spine. 

"An angel to some.. a Demon to others."

#queendeeshorrorimagines #slasher imagines #pinhead x reader #elliot spencer x reader #trans male reader #tw brief mentions of transphobia (not from pinhead) #i might make a part 2 #i dunno #dees sweet tea #with slight angst #death of an minor character

[nonbinarymlm]

30, 31, 36, 39?

30) A trope you dislike about your identity? Well, all the negative tropes for sure. Pretty much all my identities are often accused of being fake, though I suppose all LGBTQ+ identities get that sometimes. I'm aromantic-spectrum (demiromantic leaning aro with some exceptions) without being asexual, which isn't a well known identities. A lot of the ideas about aspecs are really about asexuals, but I'm not asexual. It's caused some misunderstandings in the past. Trope of aros being ace isn't negative because it's not wrong to be ace, but I do dislike it as it doesn't apply.

31) A trope about your identity that applies to you? A lot of the transmasc tropes apply to me, whether I want them to or not. I'm smaller, I'm twinky, I have a common transmasc name. I like being called handsome and dapper. I don't mind any of these things, except for when other people use them to insult or misgender me.

36) Do you align with any gay subcategories? (Butch/femme, bear/twink, etc.) I am, indeed, a twink. My partner actually calls me twink as a nickname. I don't think he'll ever stop, so someday I'll be an elder twink

39) Do you have a type in partners? I like people with short hair and some amount of masc-ness and/or butchness (regardless of gender). I haven't had many real partners, so it's hard to tell. I do also tend to be into other nerds and neurodivergent folk (my current partner is both).

Thanks for the ask!

#ask game #brief transphobia mention #brief queerphobia mention #labels #queer experiences

[disorganisedautodidact]

troth and justice he loved

(my contribution to @tolkiengenweek)

Laurelin had already waned when Ñolofinwë knocked on his half-brother’s door. It had been a long ride out here to the cottage where Fëanáro and Nerdanel and their two sons were staying at the moment. Not a journey Anairë should be having to make right now. In fact, Ñolofinwë would be quite happy not to endure his brother’s scathing comments at a time like this. But they needed his help. He’s going to take this as an excuse to tell me how to raise my own child, Ñolofinwë thought. He supposed he should be glad they didn’t have to travel all the way up to Formenos.

The door opened. Fëanáro’s usual disdainful sneer as he took in his half-brother turned into honest confusion when something seemed to occur to him. “Anairë? Ñolvo? What on earth are you doing here? Isn’t your baby coming soon?”

“Yes”, said Anairë, lifting the tiny bundle in her arms, “that’s rather why we’re here.”

Read the rest on ao3!

#autodidact writes #silm fic #tolkiengenweek #trans tolkien #cw transphobia mentions #brief mentions of trans pregnancy #mild angst #family fluff #or as fluffy as it gets when fëanor and fingolfin are involved #their relationship is still pretty complicated

[bobcatmoran]

Finally pulled the plug on my long-standing subscription to The Economist - been meaning to do it for awhile, ever since their coverage started getting weirdly transphobic.

Boy howdy, they do not make it easy. First, you have to log into your account. Then, you have to jump through 6 hoops of, "YES I WOULD LOVE TO SUBSCRIBE TO THIS SERVICE" and "cancel my subscription"

This will eventually take you to a page where you can either call a phone number or live chat. Then you get to talk to a representative, who's all like, "Do you love The Economist? Why do you want to leave? What about if I discount your subscription? What about if you subscribe to just our newsletter? What about paying for our app instead of the magazine?" Fifteen minutes of repeating, "I only want to cancel my subscription," later, I finally managed to cancel my dang subscription.

#the economist #never agreed with a lot of their POV #but it was a good source for international news #with the occasional fun wordplay #(the week the original les mis revolve closed all the headlines in their news briefing were stealth les mis refs) #but it's not worth it #hasn't been for awhile #i just needed to summon up the spoons to run the cancellation gauntlet #(did i mention the rampant transphobia?) #(it's gotten so bad the last couple years - you can tell they're UK based)

[just-an-enby-lemon]

Kristen Kringle in my Rogues Headcannon Au:

- She is from Metropolis (ew) and since my version of Riddler lived in Metropolis from age six to sixteen the two happened to go to the same middle school.

- She is a bissexual trans woman and while Metropolis by itself is a progressive city there's still a lot of assholes there. Her parents were actually very supportive and at 11 she had already socially transitioned.

- Unfortunally when news spread that she was trans a lot of parents and students alike were opposed to her and tried to banish her from competing in sports and using the right bathroom.

- That was when the bathroom brigade was formed by Lisa Jerkins (my unimportant OC who's main fuction is give Ed extra trauma later) and Eddie Nasthon, they would scoult her to the bathroom, even if it meant just getting up in the middle of class and getting detention, to protect her from being attacked by biggots.

- They were inseparable during middle school.

- She was the first person Edward came out as transmasc for and also his first kiss.

- Unfortunally after two years of suffering attacks from classmates, parents and even some teafhers, her parents decided it was better to her to move schools.

- They keept contact at first, but after his dad broke Edward's phone during a beating, they stopped talking.

- They later meet again in the Iceberg, Kristen was hanging with her new work friends on the Iceberg. One of the girls went to the bar to flirt and grab some drinks and came back crying because some douche she had tried to flirt with had called her "easy, boring and stupid". It was Edward. He wasn't even being purposifully rude, he just has low emphaty and was understimulated and feeling ignored by Oswald witch makes for a very cranky Riddler.

- Kristen of course went to confront the guy and got even more angry when she found him talking with Penguin's underage secretary. Until she realized it was Eddie and he was helping the girl do her homework of all things (in my AUverse Miss Tuesday is Oswald secretary and she bullies/manipulates Ed into doing her homework a lot). So instead they catched up.

- They rekindling their friendship may had resulted in Edward mudering her abusive boyfriend during the most akward double date on history (Edward brough Selina - who was already his ex - because she had shown interest on Kristen and Ed has no common sense or understanding of social norms and is just lucky he was born with a huge charisma status anyway). But hey, he is a known criminal, he is one of the less murderous members of the Dark Knigth Rogue Gallery, but he is a known criminal.

- Selina had the time of her life. No one else did. But Selina enjoyed herself. She got to pet Kristens cat, made a pretty woman blush, stoled a gourgeus astray, helped in the murder of an abusive asshole, she and Ed showed their sick dance moves. It was great.

- To everyone else it was a really bad night. And it almost ended Ed's and Kristen's friendship forever (and Tom was literaly dead by the end of it). But Selina had fun. And that is what really matters.

- No but really. Edward did not murder Kristen, because he isn't a misoginistic creep here and was not trying to convince her to not be mad. He was actually trying to convice himself that he didn't mind she was mad because he was right and is great and fuck her.

- They did slowly recovered their friendship though. With some meedling for Selina, because she cared about the fact other people didn't had a great night.

- Kristen did had a one night stand with Selina at some point.

- She somehow ends dating Doctor Joan Leland who in my AU is - personality wise - closer to Gotham's Lee than this version of Leslie Thompkins.

- The fact Leland is Jonathan Crane's psychiatrist (and the only member of the Arkham staff Jon - bregrundgly - respects, witch is what made her survive being Jon's psychiatrist because Crane is famous for making them became suicidal and quit) is not really important, but I'm briggin it up anyway.

#nico's bat au verse #yes i may be a little harsh with leslie because I was introduced to her in war games #and leslie was done dirty in war games #riddler #edward nygma #kristen kringle #selina kyle #it's really hard for me to not write selina having a good time #kitty is the only one of my favs I can't viciously hurt #she does have issues though #miss tuesday #i love her #dr joan leland #i love leland soo much #i want her to be in more things #tom dougherty #i hate the fact I included this man #brief OC mention #tw: transphobia #kristen dougherty's murder and the fact ed used the word buster once and has suffered the friendly mockery of query and eccho ever since + #are the only things I imported from gotham riddler #he is a very small influence in my au riddler persona #the actual big influences are gorshin riddler arkham riddler btas riddler unburied riddler and a bit btaa riddler

[reduxskullduggerry]

i started playing 'tell me why', a video game that a tumblr post recommended for being free and having a trans protagonist, both of which were true. And small spoiler about the start of the game, it's about twins, and one is trans and killed his mother in self-defense when she attacked him physically for him cutting his hair. and then it flashes forward and the police officer who arrested him is now his sister's adoptive dad and the sister kind of wants him to forgive this guy and now im not sure where i want to keep playing this game bc its so ridiculous to me that you would ever expect someone to forgive that and i'm really not sure the narrative will reflect that by treating her perspective as ridiculous.

#tell me why #tw child abuse mention #? very brief mention but just in case #like im just very univested in the good cop making a difficult decision that they seem to be setting up #rule it a justifiable self-defense and go home #and dont adopt the sister of the kid you arrested?? #hello??? #tw transphobia mention #if other people have played it and have thoughts im very open to hearing them bc could be that im judging it too early

[gibbearish]

so this post has been made unrebloggable now (shocker) but ive been feeling the need to address it since i saw it on my dash multiple times, so let's explore how lying on the internet works. more specifically, how blending truth, lies, and omissions to whip uninvolved people into anger works, because i think this is an excellent example and that pointing out the misinformation and the tactics used to spread it here is important, both in correcting the specific falsities but also in helping recognize similar tactics in the future.

so here we have several things that are technically true: staff has been very openly shitty to trans women for a long time and them banning predstrogen is clearly part of that, there is currently a movement regarding discussing transmisandry/transandrophobia, transmisogyny and transphobes sending transphobic asks is by far nothing new, and baeddel is/was a slur. however, among all of this are half-truths, unprovable speculation, or outright lies made to make you believe these events are originating specifically from transmascs.

firstly, the transandrophobia movement has been drastically misrepresented here in the same way it has been for the whole argument, "they're just trans MRAs" has been repeated so many times now that i'm gonna be hearing it in my dreams when i'm 80. i can understand not being willing to address the nuance of that whole discourse in one post that isn't directly focused on that, i'm certainly not, but in this example it's not unwillingness to address a complicated topic, it's a deliberate misrepresentation to frame one side of the discussion as The Evil Bad Ones That Can't Be Trusted. additionally, this post IS about that discourse and is just pretending it isn't to mislead a wider audience, so refusing to address it at all beyond this brief mention is deliberately misleading people about the goals of the group because They're The Other Side Of The Discourse. "transmisogynists" is used as a buzzword here, it doesn't actually refer to Anyone Who Hates Transfemmes, it refers to Transmascs Who Discuss Transmasc-Specific Oppression Using A Word They Coined To Point Out That Queer Spaces Have A Big Problem With Masculinity and just. doesn't tell you that's what it means, relying on the structure and framing of the post to create the Transmisogynist = Transmasc association in the audience's head so op doesn't have to say it outright (and of course the implied Transmasc = Transmisogynist association that follows because creating THAT association is the Actual Point of this post). the mentions of transmascs in this post are designed to look like afterthoughts, op says "typically those who espouse transandrophobia" to make it look like they're saying there's other people they're referring to here too, but almost everything in this post draws from the transandrophobia discourse. some random cis transphobe in texas has never heard the term baeddel in their entire life much less used it in a debate about transphobia, this is an intercommunity argument through and through, but op is trying to mask the fact that they're just referring to "transmascs who disagree with me specifically" and make it look like it's part of a wider trend. and again, i'm not going to go into the nuances of transandrophobia here, but i highly recommend reading some of the theory on it by @nothorses (x) and @genderkoolaid (x) because the "theyre just trans MRAs" argument kinda just collapses under its own weight as soon as you look into it even a smidgen. i've linked a couple broad overviews there but they both discuss it frequently and in-depth, specifically nothorses has a pinned post linking to many different discussion threads that i would recommend checking out if you do want to learn more about what the actual conversation surrounding these words is.

so, after framing the movement this way, they go on to say that the reason predstrogen was banned wasn't /just/ because staff has a long and established hate boner for trans women, but because the transandrophobia movement was teaming up with TERFs to mass-report her and other transfemmes, and implies that this is part of a deliberate conspiracy between Transandrophobia Truthers™, TERFs, and staff. you'll notice that there are no, say, screenshots of transmascs saying theyre deliberately reporting her or of that they're working with TERFs, behind-the-scenes lists of people who reported a certain account, or any evidence for this beyond "she was a trans woman, they're trans men who hate trans women, she got banned, so these must be related". which i find especially funny now given that photomatt has continued melting down about this since it happened and made it pretty clear it yknow. was just part of staffs ongoing hate campaign against trans women that has been going on much longer than the transandrophobia debate? and that maybe the fact that The Literal CEO is having a personal meltdown about this might explain where that could be coming from or at least why it's been allowed to continue for so long, moreso than any individual users reporting someone could? but i digress.

who reported what account is completely unprovable as a casual user unless people directly admit they did it, so to bring it up like this begs the question of what actual reasoning they have for saying it beyond trying to tie a current display of bigotry into an unrelated discourse. that's not to say it's impossible people who discuss transandrophobia were wrongfully reporting her, because again, thats something we have no way of knowing, and the internet is a shit place so i wouldn't be surprised. but given the circumstances and the rest of the lies here, i have my doubts about this being an actual yknow. Thing That Happened rather than just another lie to make people mad at transmascs. now one could make the argument that op wasn't saying transmascs are /deliberately/ teaming up with TERFs/staff, that "teaming up" was just a poor choice of words to refer to multiple groups who happen to have the same goals in mind at the same time but aren't actually coordinating with one another, but given the deliberate misinformative slant of the rest of the post and the overall phrasing in this section, i have trouble extending that grace. regardless, however, that doesn't change that who is reporting who isn't something verifiable, so stating it here as a confirmed fact is disingenuous at the absolute best, and a lie chosen specifically because it's unprovable at worst. if op /does/ have proof that transmascs have been teaming up with TERFs to get trans women banned, not including that with this post is just uhhhhh dumb, and if op /doesn't/ have proof then Why Would You Go Around Telling People That's What Happened Unless You Were Lying To Them On Purpose With Ulterior Motives.

next, op goes on to discuss the rise of the term baeddel. now as i said before, the truth here is that it certainly was a slur and certainly can still be used as one, again the internet is a shit place so i would be a fool if i tried to say "no one is using this as a slur". however, this is once again a drastic misrepresentation of the situation. baeddel's rising use is due to certain trans women reclaiming it and aligning themselves with the original group's politics, namely that femininity is good and masculinity is bad (aka terfism 101), with the added caveat that by abandoning femininity for masculinity, transmascs are evil and betraying devine womanhood and their community by putting more Evil Manhood into the world. of course that in turn is a drastic oversimplification of their politics and i highly recommend checking out this post with an actual in-depth exploration of the history (and without my added flavor), but the important part to note here is that this is not a term transmascs just Started Using one day because they hate transfems so very much as is implied here, its use is directly tied to a group of people saying "hello, here is what i am, and here is what this word means about what i believe," so others went "ok, these specific beliefs are called this." bringing up the fact that it historically was a slur is misdirection here, when you look closer this is almost a 1 to 1 translation of TERFs crying that TERF and radfem are slurs because People Don't Like Their Politics And Therefore Them, so the name for their politics is used negatively, so therefore it's a slur. that argument just has a little more oomph behind it this time because It Was A Slur Originally. and again, that isnt to say no one is now using it as a slur, the rate of decay for online discourse is ridiculous so it being boiled down to and used as "evil transfemme" has certainly already happened, but to act like /every/ use of it is a slur is literally just a lie, when you self-identify with a term based on your shared politics with the original group then you do not get to claim everyone using that term to describe those politics is doing so exclusively to attack you. also this part is entirely speculation but given that op's url is basically just. baeddel switched around to dae bel, i would hazard a guess that they perhaps are indeed aware of the origins of its re-use? but again, that's entirely unprovable and based just on wordplay, but like. given the Everything here i wouldn't be surprised. now, there's definitely an argument to be made about calling users baeddels based just off of their politics when they don't personally self-identify with it, if that constitutes calling someone a slur and if TIRF should be used instead, but crucially, that is not the argument being made here. the argument being made is "ANY AND ALL use of this term is calling someone a slur," and that literally just Isn't The Case.

finally, to tie the whole post off, op reminds us 1) if you hear anything bad about any trans woman ever, it's probably a lie to make her look bad, and 2) if you hear anyone say anything about transandrophobia, disregard everything else they have to say because they hate trans women. not "be critical of the things you see or get sent" or "be on the lookout for things following a certain pattern," a unilateral "anything bad is probably fake and anyone who uses the bad words is probably evil." that is not something someone does if they are genuinely trying to raise awareness of an ongoing trend, that is what someone does when they want you to turn your brain off and be mad at a group no matter what they say.

so yeah, in summary, do be critical of the things you see and be on the lookout for certain patterns, because sometimes people will just Lie to you. or, sometimes people will tell you portions of the truth while leaving out crucial bits so that you'll come to the conclusion they want without anyone being able to say they lied to you without typing up a thirty paragraph long hell post. transmisogyny is absolutely a problem on this site and there are 100% valuable conversations to be had about it and its presence within the trans community, but this post is not that. this post uses real transmisogyny and the wrongful termination of a trans woman's account as set dressing to say that it was all because of evil transmascs who run the trans community behind the scenes conspiring to take out transfemmes, so you should ignore anything they have to say because All of it is secretly motivated by transmisogyny. they're never discussing transandrophobia because it's something that actually effects them, they're doing it to hurt trans women by saying they have it worse. they're never telling you about shitty things a trans woman did to spread awareness, they're lying to make her look bad, or even if it's true they're only talking about it as part of a hate campaign because she's trans, they wouldn't care otherwise. they're never using a specific term because People Use That Term For Themselves, they're calling someone a slur because they hate trans women. there's always an explanation you can think up that ties it back to transmisogyny, and op says that instead of assessing all of what someone says and the context behind it to determine if that's what's happening, you should assume transmisogyny is the answer and refuse to engage any further as soon as you see a word you've been told is bad.

this post is discourse recruitment masquerading as a public service announcement that doesn't offer you any routes to actually learn more about what's going on, it just tells you Here's What's Happening, Here's Who's Evil And Should Be Ignored, And If You Disagree You're Also Evil And Should Be Ignored. content of the actual post aside, i think anything framed that way should be taken with a MASSIVE grain of salt and this would have raised my alarm bells even if i wasn't already pretty familiar with the arguments, people who genuinely want you to know something just because it's good to know will give you options to learn more or encourage you to actually use your critical thinking to assess things, not tell you to sit down and shut up and ignore anyone who disagrees with them.

anyways i guess tldr

#trans #transandrophobia #transmisogyny #now the question is do i leave anon on after posting this #origibberish #and its interesting too how the lies here cast doubt on other parts too #like i didnt click through the link op posted but just based on everything else theres a part of me thats like #everything else you said here was a lie to make transmascs look bad and transfemmes look good. why exactly should i believe you #when you say some rumor about your friend is fake. like your friend could be entirely innocent but because /you/ are the one saying it #its like. is it actually fake or is that another lie and your friends are just shitty people? #but again i didnt click through the link and know nothing abt that aspect its just. something to note about how lying about some things #makes it very difficult to believe others #long post

[ohworm-writes]

「✰」 ━━ CALL OF DUTY: MODERN WARFARE CHARACTER FAMILY OUTLINES

RATING PG-13 - Parents strongly cautioned [ Content warnings : references to sex, references to breeding kinks, heavy fluff, children, both pregnancy and adoption scenarios, toxic family relationship dynamics, minimal cursing, brief mention of Ghost and Farah's traumas, brief mention of transphobia and homophobia ]

SYNOPSIS In my opinion, what having a family with an assortment of Call of Duty: Modern Warfare characters would look like, be it how many kids they would have, their reasonings for having kids, their relationships with their kids, et cetera.

WORD COUNT 6.8k

CAPTAIN JOHN PRICE

Three sons and one daughter - ages ten, seven, five, and one

I'm certain we're all more than aware of this man's painfully obvious and present breeding kink, so it's no surprise to anyone that he would want to have a lot of children to call his own. He won't just be satisfied with one or two children - he's always wanted to have a full, bustling home, and he'll be damned if he doesn't try to make that a reality.

Every child of his is planned, both in pregnancy and adoption scenarios. He meticulously calculates and works to space each child out a certain range and number of years apart from one another in an effort to give himself extended experience with each developmental stage - or so he claims.

He wanted kids of his own, he decided, the second he met you, and he just hopes and prays that you'll be open to the concept of having quite a number of them. And, in his favor, you do and indulge him in his little fantasies.

And, in the ingenious words of @ghostlywhiskey , "i said that man has SWIMMERS AND THOSE MFS ARE PRICE BOYS". So, there's a very obvious patten that begins to form as more and more members are added to his little family. But, of course, there's one token daughter added into the mix, who he loves all the same as he does his boys.

In my eyes, the ideal father figure. He's extremely open and honest with his children, listens and talks with them whenever they have an issue or question, is very understanding and accepting overall, and, more than anything, works tirelessly to be a present, positive figure in their lives.

Because of all of the experience that he has with his own children, this results in the members of Task Force 141 and associated parties going to him for help or to have him answer questions they may have around their own children.

He tries to be as present of a father as he can be, given the challenges and distance that comes with his line of work, but always makes an effort, at the very least, call his kids whenever he can to ask about how they're doing, what they're up to, et cetera.

Refuses to talk about his job or entertain his children in the very idea of joining the military - the horrors he's seen is not in the slightest something he wants his children to witness for themselves. He knows the job best, and he will not allow any of his children to join.

Raises his sons right - they're respectful, mind their manners, don't start fights (but finish them, should the need arise) and instills all the necessary core morals and values they'll need to be good people when they grow up. All the same, he teaches his daughter not to take shit from anyone.

LIEUTENANT SIMON "GHOST" RILEY

Three daughters and one child (non-binary) - ages ten, six, three, and nine

Originally, he had never even spent a moment in time thinking about or entertaining the possibility of him having children, much less actively putting effort into reaching that goal. Especially when considering his own history, he can't even begin to see himself as a father, fearing he'll end up like his own.

So, when you get pregnant for the first time on complete accident/enthusiastically bring up the idea to him of adopting a child seemingly out of nowhere to him, he's completely shell-shocked. This is something he's ever put considerable thought into, and now it's being dropped into his lap without a moment to process it or breathe.

So, when he lays eyes on his first little girl for the first time, he's terrified. He's a dad now, whether he wants to or is ready for it or not. And no, it's not like he didn't tell you to get an abortion/refuse to sign the papers, but he isn't fully ready for such a heavy responsibility yet. But when he has her in his arms for the first time, he's done for.

After the first, he's so open and willing - and, quite frankly, pushing for - trying for/adopting another child. Yes, he was scared for his life to become a dad at first, but now that he's one now, he can't help but want another - and best you believe that his children are his absolute world.

Curse of the military. That's it, that's the tweet. He had all girls, plus, of course, his one gender non-conforming, non-binary kid, and all of them have equal ownership over his heart.

He's the perfect girl-dad, letting them do whatever they want with him - their own personal dress-up doll, if you will. Painting his nails, putting make-up on him, styling his hair, making him attend tea-parties and playing make-pretend. Whatever they want him to do, he does it.

When his second-oldest comes out to him (they came to him first before they did you), his heart absolutely melts. To know that his kid trusts him so wholeheartedly and isn't scared to share such a private thing with him lets him know just how good of a dad he is.

He's quick to use the right pronouns, allocates a separate room for them, helps them go shopping for clothes and items they may want, tests out new names for them should they want to, et cetera.

He's not at all a strict parent, as much as one might believe. He's stoic, cold, and cruel, sure - but that's to everyone but his family. For them? He's the biggest pushover in the world. If his children want anything, best believe he's doing everything in his power to fulfill their wishes.

SERGEANT JOHN "SOAP" MACTAVISH

One son and one daughter - ages four and five

He's always wanted children, that mindset and dream having been set long before he ever even joined the military in the first place. He used to take care of and watch his nieces, nephews, and younger cousins a lot when he was younger, so it eventually evolved into him wanting little rascals of his own as time went on - to be able to nurture, care for, and have fun with.

So, when the opportunity arises to actually start a family of his own, something that he's always dreamed of, he's so giddy. In complete honesty, he's practically beaming and bouncing on the balls of his feet, so willing and ready to make this into a reality. He has his own fears and anxieties, yes, but his excitement far outweighs it.

Both of his children are planned, of course, wanting them to be close in age as he can get them, and he's ecstatic that he gets to have both a boy and a girl. He gets the best of both worlds that way! And, when he finally gets to hold each in his arms for the first time, his heart shatters, melts, and crumbles in the best ways possible.

He isn't just a solider, a boyfriend, or a husband anymore - he's a dad now.

He's such a fun dad in general, always joking around with his kids, letting them - safely - do things that they aren't supposed to do, messing with them, taking them out for desert and sweets, et cetera.

But, as much as he's the "fun dad", that doesn't mean that he's any less strict. If his kids mess up or do something bad, he's often the one responsible for determining punishment, telling them off, and teaching them not to make the same mistake again.

His work is demanding, yes, and that often takes him away from you, his partner, and his kids for long periods of time, but he always comes back, ready to be a dad again and put "Soap" on the backburner.

The perfect role model for his kids, in all honesty - the best combination between a best friend and a parental figure. His kids tell him everything and they aren't scared of him to keep secrets from him, always telling him the truth without shame or hesitation.

SERGEANT KYLE "GAZ" GARRICK

One son and one daughter - ages seven

Both of children are twins

Having children wasn't something he had ever planned for, in his mind. Not to say that he never entertained the idea of having children of his own, nor is it to say something that he's against, either. He simply hadn't ever thought about making it a reality before.

But, when the opportunity to have/adopt children comes up into his life, it's welcomed, allowing himself to go with the flow of things and let them play out as is. He thinks about it a lot more now, daydreaming about what his child's personality will be like, what they'll look like, who they'll like more...

And then boom! Twins!

He's starstruck when he first gets the news that he'll be having/adopting twins. It's like a two-for-one deal, or so he says, genuinely shocked and excited at the same time. The way he sees it, his kids will always have a best friend (or, a partner-in-crime) and he's all for it.

Twins are a lot, he knows, but that doesn't mean he isn't up for the challenge. If anything, it only spurs him on to push to be the best dad he could ever possibly be.

For better or for worse, his kids adopt his sarcastic nature as their own and increase it by tenfold. It's his fault, given that whenever his kids are around, he's talking to them as if they'd understand his points and smart comments. They don't, most of the time, but they know their dad's tone, and they're quick to match it.

Takes the most time off out of anyone else in Task Force 141 to spend with his family if and when he can allocate it. He wants to be as present of a dad as possible, and if that means taking work home when he could easily finish it on base and then come home, maybe a day or two later, he's doing it.

Very adamant on having days out with his kids, be it for the purpose of a mental health day or just for fun. Takes them out to get breakfast and lunch, plus going to do another activity. Maybe the park, the playground, watch a movie at the cinema, go to the zoo/aquarium, et cetera.

He's not a super strict parent but that doesn't mean he isn't going to disciple his children if they misbehave or do something wrong. His punishments are lax, focused more towards talking out the issue that giving harsh lessons.

STATION CHIEF KATE LASWELL

One son - aged sixteen

She and her wife decided that they really wanted to have a kid of their own a few years into their marriage and, especially given that neither of them aren't getting any younger and didn't necessarily have the energy, time, or willingness to take on the challenge of pregnancy for themselves, they choose the more sensible option available and adopt.

It's a long, deliberate process that they have to go through in order to be so much as be approved for being able to adopt, but, once that hurdle is overcome, the two of them waste no time and immediately begin their search for the newest member of their own little family, allocating time to meticulously decide who they'll, inevitably, choose.

Their hearts end up settling on a little boy whose four years old, somehow resembling the both of them in different ways - be it personality wise or by appearance.

The two of them decide that they want to be able to escape and skip the issues that come packaged with newborns and toddlers, but also have a hand in the development process of their son, thus explaining the age they chose to adopt him at. This accomplishes both of these "goals" they have in mind, and it works out beautifully in their favor.

No matter their son's ethnic background, the two of them make a conscious effort to try and introduce practices, traditions, holidays, ideals, et cetera from their son's culture into their own as a means to keep him connected with his own past and history.

Although her job is connected with the military and does, to an extent, seperate her from her families for periods of time, that doesn't diminish the relationship she has with her son. He's fascinated with his mom's career, allowing for lengthy, in-depth discussion about what her job actually entails with him.

She and her wife are such good moms in general - always supporting him in everything he wants to do and encouraging him a thousand times over. There isn't a second in his life where he isn't being supported or loved, but it by his moms or the numerous different adult figures in his life.

Laswell gets in a fair bit of trouble with her wife for not disciplining her son in any way, shape, or form. She may have no issue with doing so with the military individuals she works with - she can be scary and intimidating when she wants to be - but with her son? She's absolutely a pushover.

Quits smoking the second she and her wife make plans towards actually adopting. It's a harsh line she draws, and one she abides by without hesitation or question.

VALERIA GARZA

None

Now, this isn't because I want to exclude her from this concept for any reasoning whatsoever, but rather because I can't really see her having or wanting any children in the first place. She's "El Sin Nombre", after all. And, in her defense, the cartel isn't necessarily the best enviroment for a child to grow up or develop in - surprising nobody.

She knows this fact better than anyone, and, having sworn her life to her role in Las Almas and the cartel, she chooses to not have any children. Additionally, she isn't going to be irresponsible and make herself vulnerable like that where, to have someone to love and care fore, only for the possibility of them being used as leverage against her later on hanging over her head, putting them in danger.

And, in any case, she has a breeding kink to make up for it, eh?

But, in all seriousness, as wonderful as I think she could possibly be with children in general, I doubt she plans on having or adopting children of her own unless she actually makes the move to leave the business of the cartel altogether - which, lets face it, with who she is and the role that she plays, is highly unlikely.

To make up for this, let's talk about her relationship with kids in general - be it the children of Las Almas and nieces and nephews that she has and interacts with.

She fits the "cool aunt" persona to a tee, always bringing gifts and/or cash to her younger family members, getting them whichever they desire, playing games with them, talking shit about people and listening to them vent, et cetera.

If the children have a problem with someone and, if aren't family, she has no issue doing something about it, be it using a scare tactic on them or completely removing the other person from the equation in more serious scenarios.

All the kids love her, no matter if they're family or if they know her or not. If she isn't busy and one of her men have a child of their own that they need to tend to while they're on the clock, she'll let the kid stay around in her office, so long as they don't disturb the peace.

VLADIMIR MAKAROV

One son and one daughter - ages eleven and five

Now, as cold, cruel, stoic, and heartless of a character that Makarov is, I personally believe that there would be select factors that would influence him to actually want children. Technical, albeit, and not for the sake of having someone to nurture and care for - at least, in the beginning - but I do believe that, for his own reasons, he would still want children as he progresses on later in his career and plans.

The only reason I could ever see for him to so much as bring up the concept of having children, in a way that makes sense when considering his character, would be due to the result of a close encounter that has him just barely scraping out of whatever altercation with his life to spare and hold onto.

He decides then and there that he wants to have a child - a son, specifically - who will be able to take his place and lead the groups that he controls and reigns over when he, inevitably, passes because, like he stated: "even I'm replaceable". It's a morbid phrase, yes, but it makes sense for him to have this be his reasoning.

He wants his replacement to be his own, too, and not for one of men to simply be promoted after he passes. After all, their ideologies, morals, and values could change over time and alter from his own, and he can't have that. However, if he were to have a child, he could foster and tailor their beliefs to match his own.

And besides, there's a certain charm that comes with saying his son is going to be the next in line. So, to his favor, he gets a first-born son, just as he had wished. His daughter, however, is completely accidental and unplanned/an abrupt decision when she is born/adopted. (In the context of pregnancy, though, its entirely his fault that she's conceived out of nowhere - wear protection, folks.)

For the longest time, his relationship with his son is, for lack of better wording, toxic - but this does change! If only with your intervention. All he wants in the beginning is for his son to be able to take over for him in the future - that being his sole purpose. And, unfortunately, he makes that a known fact.

Brings his son in with him to work on base often, working to teach and show to him the empire that he'll be taking over once his dad is gone. He gets a front-row view to the horrors his father is behind and in control of, be it the planning process for strategized and organized attacks, his cruel methods for dealing with traitors, and otherwise.

As much as he might, at heart, want to be a boy-dad, his relationship with his son is so strained and, frankly, falling apart, even if he refuses to acknowledge it, and so toxic in nature that it's only natural he becomes a girl-dad when his daughter is finally born. It's unfair, yes, but it's the truth of the matter.

He keeps his daughter far away from his work, shielding her completely from the badness of the world - the badness that he himself helps to create. She's his his pride and joy, and she's such a daddy's girl, leaving his son to fall to you, his other parental figure, for comfort and support - that of which his dad fails to provide.

COLONEL KÖNIG

Four daughters - ages two, three, seven, and fourteen

Interestingly enough, he's actually always quietly desired and yearned for a family of his own, though, he's never had any open discussions about it until it came to you. It's almost funny, the way that he's so awkward and tends to shy away from others any chance he's allowed to, and yet, he wants nothing more than a sizeable family for himself.

To have someone to fight for, to come back home to... it's all a soldier ever wants - himself included. And, for him, that includes a family that doesn't just consist of him and you (as content and happy as he is with it for now). The mere prospect of coming home to children of his own who can greet him and adore him is all he could ever ask for.

Though, even given this, he's especially nervous to actually become a father. He overthinks it a lot, wondering if his kids will even like him, going over the multitude of different ways that he could mess up even when he has no reason to. Because after his first, that fear melts away into enthusiasm.

Four children, especially when they're all girls, is a lot, yes, but he handles it with ease. He doesn't let the stress of it get to him, simply taking everything in stride and dealing with it rationally. He wants to preserve the positive relationship he has with his daughters, and approaching things from a logical standpoint is just the way to do it.

The true curse of the military - all girls, and so many of them, too. His younger children are all girly to an extent, too, so he's no stranger at a tea party and getting his make-up and nails done messily by his daughters. His oldest, although she may not be as girly, still has her moments, be it certain musicians maybe that she's forced her dad to listen to the entire discography of.

His girls love use him as a prop and character in their bouts of playing "make pretend". He's played a tree, standing still for them to climb all over, a dragon, protecting them from all of the bugs and critters that threatens to offend the, and even a race car, holding onto one or two of them as tight as he can and breaking into a sprint. It's strange and exhausting, sure, but he loves it.

Teaches his daughters to stick up for themselves - it's one of the first lessons he ever teaches them. Whether it be in terms of don't let people see you as a pushover, don't let anyone tell you what you can or cannot do, or stick up for yourself by any means necessary, he instills those ideals into his kids. Teaches his eldest how to fight, too - per her request - as another measure and precaution.

Although being apart of KorTac and being a colonel in general keep him busy and occupied and away from his family, that doesn't stop him from trying his hardest to be with them. He sends each and every one of his daughters, with the inclusion of yourself, gifts he picks up while he's away that reminds him of you all, just as a means to remind you all that he's here and he loves you.

COMMANDER PHILLIP GRAVES

Two daughters and two children (transgender) - ages seventeen, six, and thirteen

Both of his trans children, female-to-male, are twins

In his daydreams, he's always imagined himself with a family of his own. A nuclear family, the American ideal - married with two and a half kids, a dog, a big house with a white-picket fence, a stable job. The whole lot. That's all he's ever had in mind for himself and he yearns to make it a reality.

So, when the topic of children come up after the married, dog, house, and job things are already figured out, he's eager to speak his mind and give his input on the matter. He's got the biggest, most lopsided grin spread out across his face when he lays eyes on his eldest daughter for the first time, and that only solidifies his dreams.

Though, ironically enough, he always had in his mind that he'd have more boys than girls. He loves his daughters wholeheartedly and without shame, mind you, but... still, the sentiment remains. He always imagined himself with one, maybe two or three boys - someone he could play catch or watch sports with.

He doesn't get that, until he does, and his twins come out to him (albeit, at separate ages) as trans ftm. Of course, the whole "trans" thing is new to him, and while he may be a little clueless, seeing how happy it makes the two of his kids is more than enough to convince him him to put in effort and be the most supportive dad he can be.

I don't want anyone coming to me saying "oh, he's transphobic" because no he's not. He may fit that all-American persona of his to a tee, but I refuse to say that he would go as far to be transphobic or homophobic, especially with his own children. (Also, I'm petty, so you get two of them).

He fights and works hard to be present in his children's lives. He may be the Commander and CEO of Shadow Company, but that doesn't mean his men can't function without him from time to time. His family means everything to him, all of his time off being spent towards treating them.

Not the parent who pushes for his children to each be involved in a million after-school activities, but encourages them to take up something. His oldest plays volleyball, his second-oldest plays baseball, his second-youngest plays the drums, and his youngest dances. Takes them all to practice and helps them however he can.

Genuinely just copy and paste Jeff Sadecki from Yellowjackets and that's him as a parent. Except... with less of the drama. He's dedicated to being involved in his children's lives, making memories and having fun with them, telling horrible dad jokes from time to time, and whatever else.

SERGEANT MAJOR RODOLFO "RUDY" PARRA

One child (agender) - aged sixteen

He never actually planned on or anticipated becoming a father in the first place, more focused on dedicating his efforts towards his career and not spending more than a passing thought on creating a family. Not to say that he doesn't want one, it's just a concept he hasn't spent too much time thinking about or worrying over.

So, this means that you have to be the one to bring it up to him. And, granted, it somewhat catches him off guard - you want to try for a baby/consider adoption with him? Since when? It throws him off, to be honest, and he genuinely has to take some time to reflect and decide if this is actually something that he wants.

And, in your favor, it is.

He's somewhat nonchalant about the whole thing, not really realizing how big of an event it is until you're close to the due date/you're approved for adoption. And then it hits him full force that, yeah - sooner than later, he's actually going to become a dad and deal with the responsibilities of one and have a child of his own.

It's humbling, funnily enough, and he revaluates his priorities when it comes to his career, you, and child-to-be.

Even though he never anticipated or saw himself as someone who could accurately fill the role of a father, he's a good one. More akin to a close friend at times whereas others he can more accurately be described as a mentor, but it's important for fathers to share both of those factors, in a way. Which he absolutely does.

His child comes out to him before they reach double-digits, and its another moment that he has to pause for. Of course he's going to love them unconditionally, no matter if they identify as something else or go by different pronouns or want to use a different name, it's simply something he hadn't expected.

Doesn't really at all punish his child if they do something wrong. He'll have a conversation with them, sure, but it never truly extends to anything beyond that. Simply a "hey, don't do that again, okay?" and moving on with life. All that matters is that they understand and acknowledge their faults, in his eyes.

Involves himself in whatever his child is interested in and tries to understand it as best he can. They have a sport they're really into? He's buying them merch and watching matches or games with them. They're really into a certain video game? Start up a new save file, he'd love to play. Genuinely super supportive.

Does not at all plan on having another child. He's content with the one and, quite frankly, even one can be a lot at times. He can't count how many times he's had to go to those parent support groups just to ensure he's being as good of a dad as he can be.

COLONEL ALEJANDRO VARGAS

Four sons and one daughter - ages twelve, eleven, nine, and eight

His oldest sons are twins

The absolute definition of a family man. He, somewhat akin to Price, always imagined himself with a family of his own later down the line in his life - a large, lively one, too. He grew up in a larger household himself with a number of brothers and sisters, both younger and older, and he always imagined the same for his future family.

He's so enthusiastic about it, too. He isn't scared or worried at all, confident in his own abilities to take care of children, given his own extended experience, so he has little to no fear in what he'll be like as a parent or his own capabilities. He knows what he'll need to do, how to do it, what to buy, what to say, et cetera, so he's confident.

He doesn't really have a plan for what their ages will be, more so allowing everything to flow naturally, but he can't deny the fact that he has his own picture in mind for what he wants his family to look like. Ironically, he always imagined himself with more girls than boys, but it seems like life had... a different plan for him.

He loves it, though. He's extremely good with newborns and toddlers especially, and when he laid eyes on his twins for the first time, holding both of them to him, it was over. Plain and simple. With the first step taken, he can now fully immerse himself in being a father and cultivating the lives of his children, and that's all he could ask for.

His boys are rowdy. Especially his oldest twins and his youngest son, his eleven-year-old acting much tamer and calmer in comparison, but still has his moments. They roughhouse with one another, mess with each other, talk shit - the whole lot. Typical sibling behavior, yes, but they had so much energy.

Takes a lot of time off to be with his family when he can spare it. If he isn't physically out for an operation and instead is at the Los Vaqueros base, he sometimes will bring one or two of his children to stay in his office while he works. That is, if he doesn't up and leave to go home the second the opportunity arises.

Defiantly the one responsible for disciplining his children and dishing out punishment. It's not to say that he's cruel or mean in any sense, but he can be strict. If they do something wrong, he's quick to decide on a punishment that appropriate and relevant, dedicated to correcting that behavior as swiftly as possible.

He's an absolute pushover with his daughter, though. Not to say that he doesn't love his boys, because he does, but he'd do anything for her. Tea parties? Dress up? Make believe? You name it, no matter how embarrassing or emasculating it may be, and he's doing it if his little girl asks.

Messes around with his boys a lot. He has a positive relationship with all of them, one that's open and honest, which leaves room for him to be able to roughhouse and taunt and poke fun at them from time to time. They might have to be smart with their own words and responses, but he's making smartass, cheeky remarks whenever he can with a grin.

OPERATION OFFICER ALEX KEELER

One daughter - aged eleven

He's thought about having children before, yes, but never in a realistic context. For him, in the past, it's always been more of a "let me imagine a scenario of how myself and a future family would look" but never actively taking strides or realistically think about how he would achieve that.

So, when you bring the topic up to him, he kind of stills and... actually thinks about it. There's a difference between putting yourself in a scenario and imagining it, and actually taking steps to make it into a reality. He sort of panics, too, because... would he actually make a good dad?

He's the most apprehensive and anxious person out of anyone when it comes to considering the path of parenthood. Of course, he agrees, more than willing to try for a baby/go through the adoption process with you, but he's endlessly terrified of messing things up.

Even when he actually gets to meet and hold his daughter for the first time - he's a man who has no shame in crying, because he absolutely does when he sees her - that paranoia remains. But even so, it solidifies his goal to become the best father he can be for his little girl.

So clueless at first at how to even approach fatherhood, purchasing so many parents books and listening to an abundance of podcasts and going to classes and everything of the like. He's confident in most aspects, sure, but parenthood is something he's never dealt with in the past - it's no surprise he wants to do everything in his power to be the best dad he can be.

As anxious as he is, though, he, in my opinion, is probably the best father he could possibly ever dream to be. He's attentive to his daughter's wants and needs, can gauge her emotions correctly and acts accordingly, is responsible in terms of taking precautions to keep her safe, and he's present as much as he can be.

Number one cheerleader in everything she does. Whether it be getting a passing grade or an outstanding one on a test, he's hyping her up. If she joins and becomes a part of a particular activity of interest, he's taking her out to a celebratory dinner. All words of encouragement and praise from him.

Is a very active an present parent, too. Takes her out on little father-daughter days whenever he can to wherever she wants to go. The mall to look at the one obscure candle store? Sure, he's down. The zoo to go make up conversations between the animals. Absolutely. He loves hanging out with her, and seeing the way she lights up whenever he offers to take her out is all he could ever dream of.

COMMANDER FARAH AHMED KARIM

Two sons and one daughter - ages seven, four, and eight months

In the beginning, actually, she was very opposed to the concept of having/adopting children. Given her involvement with the ULF and that the current climate in Urzikstan was far from safe to raise any child in, she had no reason to even entertain the thought. Especially considering her own past, she was against it.

For a while, most conversations of having or starting a family were shut down by her - she yearned for it in the back of her mind, sure, but it wasn't a realistic goal. That was until she and Samara had a conversation about the topic, Samara telling her that while, yes, there were dangers to it, there's nothing more fulfilling than family.

So, after long deliberations, she began to consider it more heavily, leading to discussions where she finally agreed. She has her own reservations, fears, and anxieties about it, yes, but considering all the work she's done, she's allowed to have this. To have a child or children, to make her own family that loves her unconditionally.

She keeps her family completely separate and distanced from her work. As much as she's passionate about what she does, there's that lingering fear in the back of her mind that, one day, her family could get hurt or even possibly used against her as leverage if they're discovered. So, there's a clean separation between the two.

But it's all worth it when she meets her first born son for the first time. She's playing such important roles in her life - the Commander of the ULF, a resistance fighter, someone associated with Task Force 141, and one of the few key figures tasked with liberating her country in its entirety. But, now, she's more than that. She's a mom.

Even though she's never had children of her own before, she handles motherhood like a seasoned professional. Even before her other two children, she never got too overwhelmed with the work and responsibilities that come with being a parent, handling everything with a level head and a calm voice, turning out in her favor.

Though, she's somewhat a bit stricter with her children - not in the sense of being overbearing and not trusting them, or even that she has high expectations and standards for them. Rather, she wants to ensure the safety of her children and that their childhoods never turn out like her own, so she takes extra precautions.

She doesn't actually send her children to school, rather taking time to teach them herself - with your aid, of course. It's partially for those same reasons of fear and wanting to protect her children, but she's actually really good at it. She's taught her children how to write, how to read, how to speak two different languages... it's a way that shows how invested she is in her family.

As serious as she can be with her work, she's much more laid back and relaxed when it comes to her family - just another perk and upside, she supposes. With all the stresses she deals with, being able to come home to her sons and daughter, being overwhelmed with love - it's rewarding in a way she's never experienced before.

NIKOLAI

Two daughters - ages eight and three

He's always imagined himself with children, in complete honesty, even when he was younger - to have maybe one to three of his own. To your luck, he's open about it too, so he's actually the one to bring up the idea to you in the beginning, having no shame whatsoever in his willingness to try for/adopt a child... or two or three.

He isn't scared to become a parent, per se, nor does he have many anxieties or worries about becoming one, but there is still that subtle worry in the back of his mind that he won't be the most fit parent.

Everyone jokes about how he can be reckless and unethical, and he enjoys the banter, but it does make him self-conscious and second guess his own ability to be an adequate father.

He doesn't really consider or worry about what ages his children are, simply allowing things to fall into place naturally, as they should. He may have imagined himself with children in his own daydreams, sure, but there was never any clear specifics for age or gender he had in mind.

But once he actually gets to meet his daughters for the first time, those worries fade away partially - they still linger, yes, but for the most part he lets them simmer on the backburner, not allowing them to interfere with him as he directs his focus away from worrying and more towards becoming the father his girls deserve.

His daughters are just as much of a menace as he is. Maybe not in the "I deal with sketchy people on a daily basis and have done some questionable things" kind of way, but they have their own mischievous streaks like their father. Be it orchestrating pranks or smaller acts of the like, sometimes they even outshine the father.

He's playful by nature, yes, and he is with his girls, but you'll also never meet a more protective parent than him. He may be sly and smug and appear all cool and collected outwardly, but when it comes to his daughters, he's doing everything in his power to protect them from anything, be it people... or ants.

Likes to be his daughters' own personal jungle gym, letting the two of them hold onto him and climb all over him without a care in the world. Additionally, that means he makes for the perfect mode of transport for them, too - having them cling onto him as he walks around, moving them from one place to the other.

He can act like a child in his own right, but he's still a good father nonetheless. In line with that protective nature, he does everything he can to both foster a positive relationship and set rules and boundaries. Bed times, chores, punishments, et cetera - he's in charge of those things, and, while he isn't strict, he's responsible.

#call of duty x reader #cod x reader #john price x reader #price x reader #ghost x reader #simon riley x reader #soap x reader #john mactavish x reader #gaz x reader #kyle garrick x reader #kate laswell x reader #valeria garza x reader #makarov x reader #vladimir makarov x reader #konig x reader #könig x reader #phillip graves x reader #graves x reader #rodolfo parra x reader #rudy x reader #alejandro vargas x reader #alex keeler x reader #farah karim x reader #farah x reader #nikolai x reader #nikolai cod x reader

[ohdeerfully]

Hi! Can I request Alastor x NonBinary!Reader? Like how would he react/learn about it?

hii sure thing! heres some headcanons! i struggled to write a decent bit because i honestly dont think he would care (or understand) at all, but i hope you like 'em!

Alastor x Nonbinary!Reader

Alastor x Reader (headcanons)

TW: brief mention of transphobia, but nothing upsetting or graphic join my discord!

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Tbh i dont think Alastor really understands the concept of gender outside of male/female

But he would support you either way

Probably finds out through one of the other hotel residents who correct him on a pronoun

Or he saw you looking at your body in the mirror, upset about something

“Why do you look so critically at yourself?”

You hesitated to tell him at first

I mean, he died in the ‘30s. People who died in the modern age are still super transphobic so you were terrified what he would think

You started with explaining how you felt dysphoric sometimes, like things in your body just didn’t fit

He made an awkward comment about how your figure was great, that you were a beautiful (man/woman)

Then you tried to explain how that was the problem, how you didn’t want to be labeled that way

 If you prefer to look androgynous, he would actually surprisingly understand the idea. Sort of. 

“Ah, like Angel Dust! Not an issue, my dear” obviously referring to the male with feminine features

I mean, kind of. Though you preferred not looking one way or another, you could tell he was trying his best to act like he understood

As an overlord in hell, he’s got much bigger things on his mind than worrying about what gender identity somebody else had. It wasn’t that big of a deal to him

Still, he makes sure those around you respect your identity because he knows it’s important to you. Demons in hell can be unnecessarily cruel, so he will hit them back with equal cruelty, either physically or verbally

Nobody can disrespect his partner like that >:(

Definitely the type to say something like “um excuse me she goes by they/them” 

He tries though

if you changed your name, it wouldn't take him long to catch on and kind of just forget your deadname

it isn't uncommon for people in hell to go by a different name, so this wasn't any different

Affirmations go crazy when he notices you feeling particularly bad about your figure

Though, he usually opts to just take you out to get your mind off of it 

He’s not the best at comfort, but you appreciate the gesture

Rosie has definitely made fun (polite) comments about you and him being a queer couple, though Alastor doesn’t understand these At All

“Huh :D?” is a general response from him

Again, whether or not he fully understands the concept of gender binaries, he would care for you just the same as before

#ohdeerfully #alastor x reader #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel x reader #alastor #alastor hazbin hotel #fluff #nonbinary #nonbinary reader #gn reader #alastor headcanons

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for “ruining” my sister’s view of Harry Potter?

To preface, I (18) am nonbinary. I live with my parents and am financially dependent on them. I have been out to them for about two and a half years, and they’re relatively supportive. However, they do not want me to make any “irreversible” changes to my body, e.g. hormones or surgery, saying that I’m not mature enough to know for certain I won’t regret it later.

My sister (10F) and I were both Harry Potter fans (she still is), but I couldn’t really enjoy it much after JKR started spewing all her TERF shit. I didn’t want to be a jerk about my sister enjoying it, though, since she was (at the time) pretty young and didn’t even know what being transgender was, let alone grasp what a TERF was, so I didn’t say anything to her and let her enjoy things.

Anyways, we’re going to London in a little over a week, and my parents previously got tickets for Harry Potter World or whatever it’s called. I privately talked to them about not wanting to go, to which they said that they and my sister would still be going, but I could stay behind in the hotel. Fine, whatever, I wasn’t winning that one.

Last night, during dinner, we were talking about our plans in London and Harry Potter World & how I wasn’t going was mentioned. My sister asked why I wasn’t going, and after my parents exchanged some Looks (you know the ones if you’re trans; if you don’t, it’s similar to the “I’m not going to say anything about that because I’m a centrist” look) and there was a brief awkward silence, I explained to her JKR’s viewpoints, the legislation being pushed in the UK and USA because of her and her platform, and how I didn’t want to support that by going to a monument of JKR’s most influential work. (1/2)

Since then, she’s been a little disillusioned by Harry Potter and hasn’t been as enthusiastic about going to Harry Potter World. My parents are pissed at me for being so blunt about it, and I can’t help but feel bad since I know how awful it felt for me to find out that JKR was a TERF. Also, I did mention the rates of suicide and other mental health problems in the trans community as a consequence of rampant transphobia, and I feel like I might have gone too far with that one, especially since she’s only 10. TL;DR: I told my sister (huge Harry Potter fan) about JKR being a transphobe and now she’s upset, my parents are mad at me, and I feel bad. AITA? (2/2)

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

[lyinginbedmon]

Oh lordy is there bad things going down across the VTuber space right now so I’m gonna try and unpack them for ease of comprehension.

Real quick: A VTuber is essentially just a regular livestreamer but instead of a facecam they have a custom model (usually made of layered images but also often a full 3D object) that tracks their face and such. Big tiddy anime girl representation to say the least but it’s a very creative space.

Next: Silvervale, Silver for short. Silver is one such big tiddy anime (wolf) girl, who is part of a corporate group of VTubers called VShojo. I probably don’t need to describe much more for the purposes of this post.

Hogwarts Legacy is a video game based in the bigotry-entrenched universe of the Harry Potter franchise by notorious face-of-transphobia Joanne K. Rowling. Since its announcement in 2018, trans individuals and groups have quite rightly highlighted numerous ethical and moral problems with the game ranging from the inherent bigotry of the setting, to the involvement of literal far-right YouTubers in its development, to just the basic stuff like its success greenlighting further instalments all while Rowling pockets royalties to (expressly) further fund her anti-trans projects (which includes her writing Literally being read into record to quash things like the Equality Act).

The general advice, which would be true regardless of your actual thoughts on the game or franchise, was to just not play it. That way Rowling makes less money, fewer future games are made, and nobody gets hurt as a result. You end your day $60 better off that you can spend on some other big game that isn’t basically radioactive.

To say the Video Gamers did not take that advice well would be an understatement, but things get really ugly when a streamer who otherwise professes to creating a calm and friendly atmosphere, who makes claims to being an ally, gives in and plays the Wizard Game. I’m not going to say that people haven’t been harassed for playing it, almost certainly someone has, but I just don’t have the data to be certain that it goes much further than just posting “trans rights” in chat.

Enter Silvervale. Despite half a decade of advance warning that she shouldn’t play this game, she played it anyway. Live on camera. The community she’d fostered for years didn’t take this well either, and the stream ended early amid purported harassment from the chat. Silver wasn’t the first VTuber to play the Wizard Game, but she was one of the first English-speaking ones.

Things could have just quietly ended there, but Silver then returned to streaming with more of the game and a statement that she had been “harassed” by “freaks and degenerates” on Twitter. Not her best choice of words, but the damage was done.

Because of the 5-year leadup to the Wizard Game releasing, the right-wing mob had already noticed the controversy around it and had made Huge investments into buying and promoting the game as well as spewing vitriol against anyone who even slightly suggested that doing so was in poor taste. They naturally then flocked to Silver’s defense and, following her unfortunate description of “marginalised people making their discomfort known as they had declared they would Years in advance” using language straight from 1930s Germany, started directly attacking any streamer who voiced their intent not to play the game however detailed their reasoning.

As a brief aside, there’s some confusion over how Silver’s chat moderation is set up, seemingly blocking such phrases as “trans rights are human rights”. Some say it’s an overzealous automod, others that her moderators are actually blocking the phrases, it’s unclear and not hugely worth focusing on here. But I mention it because it’s one of the common points made as people state their side on this issue.

This has essentially made Silver the face of transphobic bigotry in the VTuber community, whether or not she actually considers herself aligned with such bigots. Multiple smaller and independent trans VTubers have completely stopped streaming because of the bile being spewed at them by people with the likes of #IStandWithSilver in their bios. The overlaps between accounts on social media posting in her defense and numerous far-right hate movements is as undeniable as it is unpleasant to catalogue.

And boy that’s just the foundation of this whole sorry affair.

Another VTuber who is part of the same company as Silver, VShojo, is Apricot (more commonly called Froot). Froot not only decided to vocally not play the Wizard Game, but to post a tweet saying that she would personally donate to UK trans children’s charity Mermaids for every like the tweet received. She added that her brother is trans and she supports him immensely.

So the bigots that leapt to Silver’s defense very predictably started calling Froot a paedophile and child groomer, which is more or less what they label every pro-trans individual ever these days. Froot had to lock replies on her charity post and her post about her brother as a result, though the tweets remain up.

Most recently, a third peer in VShojo called Ironmouse came to Silver’s defense specifically in opposition to the alleged harassment she received which, again, anyone could have seen coming in the last 5 years by googling the Steam page for this game.

And honestly, at this point, whatever actually happened to Silver in that first stream is completely irrelevant because she’s become the rallying cry of people who actively want to exterminate the entire trans community from cradle to grave and literally beyond. And so much of it could be resolved or at least get the wind out of its sails if she took 5 minutes to just apologise for and disavow everything that happened in her name after she decided to keep playing the Wizard Game.

But, and I say this with no disrespect to Silver, I’m not holding my breath.

#long post #vshojo #vtubers #drama #wizard game #I've been trying not to just constantly talk about this issue #but the disk horse just keeps getting WORSE

[wrinkledparchment]

a stranger’s whisper | sebastian sallow

BRIEF DISCLAIMER: THIS AUTHOR DOES NOT SUPPORT OR CONDONE TRANSPHOBIA OR DISCRIMINATION OF ANY KIND

Summary: Based on the “In the Shadow of the Study” Quest | You, Ominis, and Sebastian all find themselves stuck where Noctua Gaunt died, blocked in a room that can only be escaped by casting an unforgivable curse. In order for the curse to work, the caster has to really mean it, but you could never hurt Sebastian.

Word Count: 1,793 words

Author’s Note: It’s been a while, I mostly write speculative non-fiction in my spare time and I don’t think I really have an audience for that here so I publish at my school instead, but I felt inspired by Sebastian, so here I am, just a brief one-off. Thanks for reading!

Content Warnings: Crucio curse, graphic depictions of magical torture, a briefly mentioned skeleton, but basically the same as if you’ve done the quest

You could feel your black robes dragging on the dusty stone floor, the green on the inside shimmering in the light of the torches. Ominis stood in the corridor, pacing back and forth, gripping his wand and his robes, trying to contain his anxiety. Quick work with the blasting curse, Confringo, had got you into this blasted place, along with Ominis’ proficiency in parseltongue, but after some quick puzzle-solving on your part, you stood in front of the doorway where Ominis’ aunt had died. The words CRUCIO were engraved on the stone in front of the entrance, a shining snake symbol accompanying it. You swallowed, Sebastian’s presence near the door lingering and a mixture in the air of nervousness and excitement traveling through his bones. You knew what was about to happen. 

A crumpled paper lay in your hands, and a collection of bones lay at your feet. As soon as you begin reading, the screams of a woman echo throughout the chamber, ringing in your ears, and the paper between your thumb crunches. 

“Ominis...” you begin with caution, breath catching while Sebastian stands next to you, briefly looking over your shoulder, skin touching yours. The brief heat leaving as soon as it came was more maddening than the screams, and your stomach churned. “There’s a skeleton. And this...” you extend the paper to Ominis, but he doesn’t take it. “It’s Noctua’s last journal entry. She mentions being trapped here--blocked by an unforgivable curse. 

Ominis’ hands shake and squeeze more, pacing intensifying, “This is where she died. This is where we’ll die.” The frustration in his voice increases with each word, “I shouldn’t have listened to either of you.”

You glance down again at the word engraved in the stone, opting not to look at the tortured faces carved into the doorway, and Sebastian says something, but you’re too busy hoping that his voice will soothe your nerves, that his hand will suddenly crawl to yours through the empty space, that he will whisper in your ear, “you’re brave.”

You can almost hear those words, him talking about your brilliance, in your own mind. But before you can finish comforting yourself in the absence of his warmth, he ushers you over, closer to the door. “I know what we have to do, [Name].” His eyebrows raise, pondering the reaction you’re about to have. “Considering that Crucio is etched into the stone and there are tortured faces embellishing the doorway, my educated guess is that casting the Cruciatus curse will open the passageway.” You, of course, already knew this, but you bit your lip and looked at Ominis anyways. 

“You know I can’t ask it of him,” you trailed off, sympathy and regret filling in your stomach. The Sebastian that lives in your head whispered from behind you--the warm feeling of breath on your neck, Sebastian’s fingertips lacing in your hair and tracing in your collarbone ever so gently, just enough to be a ghost but never real--that Sebastian whispered: “be brave for me.”

“If you cast Crucio, you will regret it forever,” Ominis warns from further down the hall. 

Sebastian’s eyes darken and his mouth twitches, “If we don’t cast Crucio, we’ll die in here.” When he looks back at you, his gaze softens, eyebrows furrowing in that very Sebastian way. “It looks like it’s up to us. I think I know how to cast Crucio, and I can teach you if you want. You could cast it on me.”

Something in your gut twists, and although you ask to learn it, when you turn around for Sebastian to grab your wrist from behind, trace the wand movements for you, his real breath landing on your neck, you know that you could never hurt him. After you’ve practiced at the wall, he whispers, “You can cast it on me. I can take it.”

You trace the movements, and you look him in the eye, and Crucio falls from your lips, but nothing comes from it except for a few sparks. Ominis can feel what happened, senses that Sebastian stayed perfectly still, and he knows that you didn’t mean it. 

Sebastian swallows hard, and he realizes what that means. “You can’t hurt me, can you?” There is a ghost of a smile on his face, and you frown and shake your head. 

“I could never hurt you. I could never mean it, even if it meant dying in here.” He stands up straight, and you look him in the eyes, full of desperation and so much love that you’re surprised it didn’t come pouring out of you. “Cast it on me,” you say, and follow it with a small whisper, “You know that I would do anything for you.”

He steadies himself as you begin to kneel before him, and there is very little hesitation before his wand begins to glow red, sparkling in the dim light. “Crucio!” 

You quickly clutch your stomach, falling the rest of the way to the ground, and there is such a searing pain in every crevice of your body that you need to rip every last piece of flesh on your body until it all goes away. Lightning zips through your veins, every cell on fire, and you begin to lose your ability to think. There are noises in the passageway, but all you can do is lay down and take the pain. 

You think of Sebastian, his eyes sorrowful but full of intent as his wand pointed at you. You think of the feeling of his hand gripping your wrist, his chest against your back, his warmth in the dark, cold crypt. You think of the red sparks that lit up his face, how beautiful he looked in the light his wand made. Your muscles are on fire, eyes contorted shut as you unknowingly scratched at your robes, at your uniform underneath, fingers grappling your face, tugging on your hair. Your toes were constricted and every muscle was as tight as can be. Sebastian whispered to you again, telling you how beautiful and brave you were, how proud he was, and although your eyes were screwed shut, you knew that it was all fake. The screams in the corridor intensified, Sebastian only being able to stand there and watch, face barely contorted with guilt and regret and fear, and Ominis could only cover his ears and rock himself on his feet, begging for it to all be over. 

The feeling in your body had been depleted, and so the curse, all in a matter of seconds, moved onto your mind, a new kind of torture. It conjured up these dreams, Sebastian bathed in the sunlight by the north side of the lake, picnic blankets and chocolate frogs, him over a cauldron with your arms wrapped around his waist, peeking from around his shoulder to watch. But every time, he left. And the curse, searching through every neuron, replayed the memory of a few seconds before, Sebastian’s eyes clouded by the dark magic he wielded, face lit in red, mouth wide open after the curse fell from his lips. There was no sound, only a whisper of a stranger, “he meant it, he meant it, he meant it.”

Sebastian’s stomach dropped, and he tried to keep his face straight, but he couldn’t think, your screams of horror and pain so loud that there was no more room for thought, but the noise of the door melting away pulled him from all of it. As it all fell away, your screams, the metal of the door, the tortured faces, Sebastian pushed away the thought of your pain. If he thought too much, the guilt would eat him alive. He thought of your whisper of a confession, how you knelt for him, how all that came out of your wand when he’d tried to do what you’d done for him was sparks. You could never hurt him, and now, he really and truly had proof. 

All Sebastian could do now is look down at you, gasping for air, tears still falling. Your eyes opened, the same love and desperation present even after he cursed you, and Sebastian’s heart tugged, dragging him down to kneel before your body. His hand moved gently to your cheek, wiping away the tears with his thumb and he half-expected you to flinch away. Instead, you melted into his touch. He frowned deeply, “I’m so sorry. Are you alright?”

Ominis took a few steps from the other side of the corridor, realizing the magnitude of this ordeal, and he could only listen to the light breaths you took, matching Sebastian’s. You began to sit up, pushing off from the ground until you were on your feet, and in your haunted mind, Sebastian was there again, leaving light kisses on your neck in apology, giving soft hugs, rubbing your arms, and as always, whispering that which got you through everything lately. “You’re so brave.”

Lightning passed through your skin again when Sebastian’s hand grazed yours as you stepped into the scriptorium, following behind him, steps fueled solely by devotion. “Thank you,” he leaned briefly over to whisper, “I shan’t forget this.”

When you got back to the dormitories, and to the room which all your previous roommates had moved out of due to your tendency to pace and murmur at all of the devious hours of the night, Sebastian followed you in, pulling out a sweater and draping it over your bed before turning away, giving you privacy. 

You pulled yourself under the covers, looking up to the whispers of the water on your ceiling, and waited with bated breath for Sebastian to come over. He sat on the side of your bed, and he whispered into the dark, “I’m never going to forget today--what you did for me. I’ll never be able to return the favor.”

“Just hug me,” you said, sitting up from under the covers, and he twisted to grab you, squeezing you with all his might. 

“I promise to find a way to cure Anne, in light of your sacrifice.” You nodded, and shifted back under the covers, hoping he would stay there to guard your body as you slept. The soreness from the curse, the anguish had still not left your mind. As far as you were concerned, it would haunt you forever, but you turned to Sebastian, and everything was better. He stood from your bed, weight shifting, and leaned over and gave you the lightest brush of the lips on your forehead. 

“Don’t let the bed bugs bite,” he smiled, and after the door shut, you could hear his footsteps echo down the hallway, but all you could think was those words the stranger whispered to you, he meant it.

#hogwarts legacy #harry potter hogwarts legacy #harry potter fanfic #harry potter fandom #sebastian sallow x reader #sebastian sallow #ominis gaunt #shadow of the study #hogwarts #wizarding world

[ssa-atlas-alvez]

Cowboy!reader Masterlist

Because apparently y’all love this lol (see- see what I did there? Y’all)

I'm trying to put these in a rough order as I go in the fic universe to try and make it easier to read aha

Edith

Description: cowboy has an elderly neighbour (this is literally just cowboy and his neighbour, in my head set before he joins the BAU) Warnings: none

Interestin'

Description: Cowboy reader is new to the team and is feeling unheard. Warnings: bad government knowledge on Atlas' part, I did try to google it but idk guys, trying my best here. Oh, also, stress eating.

I Understand

Description: directly follows from 'interestin'', cowboy reader talks down a teenage unsub. Warnings: guns, hostage negotiations, untrusting team

Lies

Description: Directly follows 'I Understand', Hotch accuses cowboy reader of lying to the teen unsub. Warnings:

The Post That Started It All

Description: Warnings: gunshot wound.

Baking and House Plants

Description: Warnings: briefly mentions anxiety.

Poetry

Description: Cowboy and Spencer talk about reading Warnings: the only thing I can think of is that reader suggests to spencer to read the warnings of a book reader likes

Allergies (Not Really)

Description: Warnings: transphobia, sad reader, guns, bullet wound, fighting, briefly mentions some murders to set the scene a bit, someone calls reader a redneck.

More (Not) Allergies

Description: Allergies (Not Really) Part 2 Warnings: minor sad reader.

Flirting, reckless driving, I didn't mean to hit you I promise

Description: Warnings: minor car accident, unsub is not a nice man, brief mentions of killings/murders.

Mama's Boy

Description: (Follow up from Flirting, reckless driving, I didn't mean to hit you I promise) Warnings: Brief mentions of murder and kidnapping (super brief), a man tries to intimidate a woman, that’s about it. Oh, some swearing. 

Pretty As A picture

Description: Warnings: a shelter?

Gay Panic

Description: Warnings: gay panic, some unsavoury thoughts - like one

Gay Panic Part 2

Description: Warnings:

Darla

Description: Warnings: n/a

Tattoos

Description: Warnings: n/a

Mermaids and Unicorns

Description: Warnings: n/a

Protector

Description: a guy hits on JJ at a bar and cowboy reader is not happy about it. Set before they confess their feelings, they're still "friends" here. Warning: unwanted touching (arm around the shoulder), and guy tries to kiss JJ (when she doesn't want it)

Sleepover

Description: JJ thinks cowboy looks huggable. Warnings: none

Sunflower Seeds

Description: Warnings: Death, sadness, abuse, bad foster parents, death of a child, murderous foster parents. Word count: 2403

Quit

Description: Warnings: Smoking, addiction (smoking)

The Art of Actually Quitting

Description: JJ helps cowboy tackle his smoking addiction. Warnings: Addiction, reader snaps

I'm Sorry, I Promise, Have Some Flowers

Description: Warnings:

My Bio Daddy

Description: Not sexy times I swear. Cowboy reader's father visits, things don't go too well... Warnings: abuse, abusive parents, abduction, claustrophobia, judgy nurse, hospital visits, child abuse mentions

Farmers Tan

Description: just a little snippet of cowboy reader and the team really Warnings: n/a

Southern Belle Ex

Description: the BAU run into an old friend of cowboy reader while near his home town Warning: jealousy, mentions past smoking addiction, that's about it

Home

Description: Being close to home, the team finally get to meet reader's family. Things start out great and then... Not so much. Reader makes sure his younger brother knows that despite what their parents have said, he's still there for them. Warning: homophobia, someone nearly says the f-slur twice (they don't say the whole thing, reader puts them in their place), mentions of going to conversion therapy, pro-conversion therapy views, being kicked out because of sexuality, unaccepting parents, unaccepting sibling (Jason's a bit of a dick and I stand by that). I think that's everything.

Outlaws

Description: Warnings: None

I was worried

Description: Warnings: Blood, guns, gun shot wound, passing out, hospitals, some swear words

Sleepless

Description: cowboy reader can't sleep :( Warnings: can't sleep (idk if it's insomnia tho), very tired reader, I think that's all

Birthday

Description: Warnings: implications of claustrophobia, it's his first birthday party so he's a bit overwhelmed bless him (I say over a fully grown man)

Sick

Description: Warnings: illness, mentions throwing up (no actual throwing up), cold/flu, mentions high temperature, reader feels rough, yeah

Dates

Description: Warnings:

Crazy Ex Girlfriend

Description: Dana, an old 'friend' of reader turns up at his work place and decides to make a scene. Warnings: reader gets slapped, crazy ex girlfriend, she insults JJ, she calls her a sl^t and wh0re, she also tells reader to 'burn in h3ll'

Rain and Thunder

Description: It's raining, and reader can't help but feel connected with the earth. Ever the romantic, this particular type of weather leads to more discussions of feelings. Takes place quite some time after 'Sick' and 'Dates' but you guys dont know about dates yet. I've not written it yet but it happens before this. Warnings: rain, thunder, lightning, that's it this one is happy feelings, bit cliche but ya know I enjoyed writing it aha

TikTok

Description: Cowboy reader tries tiktok Warnings: None

(No) Self-Preservation

Description: scar reveal. Warnings: scars, abusive backstory.

Promise

Description: JJ and Cowboy hit a rough patch, the song is promise by Laufey (just in case you can't see it, Tumblr's being annoying for me) Warnings: sadness :'), smoking

Like A ______

Description: Warnings:

Save A Horse

Description: Warnings:

Allergy Reunion

Description: Mia and reader reunite, chaos ensues. Warnings: gun shots, unsubs go to the school, guns, schools targeted, criminal minds levels of violence (maybe even on the slightly tamer side).

taglist under the cut

Taglist: @xweirdo101x @xdark-acadamiax @ara-a-bird @heidss @chubbyboyinflannel @pendragon-writes @migwayne @bigolgay @technikerin23 @supercriminalbean @honestlycasualarcade @caffeine-mess @1s3v3n1 @oddmiles @kevyeen @stealing-kneecaps @criminalskies @woodandwaxwings @wizardmon3 @aphroditeslovr @ducks118 @azeal-peal @13thdoctor-run @introvertpan84 @goth-boi-atlas @iliketozoneout @chaosofmanyfandoms @logicalhorror @luvfornick @prmsn-17

@xweirdo101x @xdark-acadamiax @ara-a-bird @heidss @chubbyboyinflannel @pendragon-writes @migwayne @bigolgay @technikerin23 @supercriminalbean @honestlycasualarcade @caffeine-mess @1s3v3n1 @oddmiles @kevyeen @stealing-kneecaps @criminalskies @woodandwaxwings @wizardmon3 @aphroditeslovr @ducks118 @azeal-peal @13thdoctor-run @introvertpan84 @goth-boi-atlas @iliketozoneout @chaosofmanyfandoms @logicalhorror @luvfornick @prmsn-17 @pinxeajin

I might have missed some people out - I'm very sorry if I have, also please let me know either in my inbox, on here, or message if you wanna be added to the taglist :)

#bau x cowboy reader #bau x reader #bau x male reader #bau #criminal minds fanfic #criminal minds fanficiton #criminal minds fanfiction #aaron hotchner #derek morgan #spencer reid #emily prentiss #david rossi #jennifer jareau #cowboy reader #male reader #x male reader

[bunnyreaper]

shy fingies

im having a really bad dysphoria day

if possible can i have some trans masc reader/141 comfort? no pressure, im just havin a hard day bc i have medical issues that make a medical transition unsafe and my dysphoria is kicking my asssss

hi!! no need for shy fingies! the dysphoria has been coming too for me lately, so im sending my love your way!! if this sucks im sorry in advance!! ;__;

tf141 x trans male! reader, platonic. brief mentions of transphobia, protective!141, reader users a binder.

It had been a shitty day all round, and things only continued to get worse. 

The day had started with forcing yourself into the shower, in the pitch black darkness, because you just couldn't face it with the light on. Your chest felt tighter than usual, and your skin just felt distinctly not like home. 

When you'd made your way into the canteen for breakfast, the new recruits were staring again, clearly talking about you amongst themselves as they snickered and judged and whispered words and phrases you really never wanted to hear.

Your only salvation was that you were ending this shitty day with a movie night with your task force. 

"Lad!" Soap calls out to you as you enter the rec room with a bag of snacks in hand. "It's yer lucky day, you get ta pick the movie." 

Soap pats the couch beside him as Ghost, Gaz, and the Captain offer their usual smiles. 

"Uh, I'm not too fussed, you can pick." You offer Soap a forced, tight smile as you try your hardest to get comfortable, despite the constriction at your chest. Today it felt a little worse than usual. 

Gaz lets out a groan, as Ghost's eyes narrow. "He picked last week." 

Offering a shrug, you remember you need to grab a drink before you get too settled into the plush of the couch. When you approach the kitchenette, you notice Price beside you.  

"Everything alright, son?" He asks, his hand clasping down on your shoulder as he offers a soothing smile. "Not yourself tonight." 

Son. As the youngest in the taskforce, Price's sweet and affirming nickname for you makes your heart soar.

You struggle to meet his eye as you mumble your response--a clear lie. "I'm fine, just tired." 

Your captain doesn't seem convinced in the slightest, as he remains by your side as you move round the kitchenette. 

"Can always talk to me, you know that? Or any of the boys?" 

"I know." You sigh, knowing they'd be supportive even if they never can quite understand. 

Another body comes closer, joining in the concern party that Price is throwing. It's Gaz, the same look of worry plastered over his face.

"Something happened?" He asks. 

"No." You snap, just a little too quickly, and the entire room falls silent with Soap and Ghost's conversation ending as they turn their attention to you. "Oh god, can you all stop staring at me?!" 

Gaz's hand replaces Price's on your shoulder as he tries to soothe you. "Talk to us, c'mon." 

Ghost and Soap join you all in the kitchen, and the pressure of them all worrying about you is almost too much to handle. They all look so worried, so protective--though you'd long come to accept that it was mostly because you're the baby of the team. 

"The new recruits were talking shit about me behind my back, you know, that kind of shit." You sigh, staring at the floor and wishing it would swallow you whole. 

The atmosphere of the room changes in an instant. 

"I want names, now." Price's words are a demand laced with anger, though not a shred of it directed at you. 

"Captain..." You call out, as Price is already halfway to the door ready to pull the recruits out of bed and give them the dressing down of a lifetime. 

Soap shakes his head. "Easier if you just tell him, lad." Soap's eyes are kind and soft as he considers you, though you know that he will have some choice words for them too next time he's training them. You almost pity them. 

You mutter out the names of the ones you had recognised, and try not to flinch as Price nods and slams the door behind him as he leaves.

"How long have you had your binder on for?" Ghost asks, his gaze severe with concern. 

"Uh... since 6am." 

He sighs, in his 'not mad, just disappointed' older brother way. "Did you take a break at lunch like you're supposed to?" 

You give him a sarcastic look, and cross your arms over yourself defensively. "It'll be fine, promise." 

The door swings open, Soap coming back into the room with Gaz in tow, and you hadn't even realised they have left in the first place. 

Soap holds out a massive bundle of black fabric, while Gaz has a silky garment in his hands. 

"Biggest hoodie of mine I could find, lad, and a fresh compression shirt." Soap explains, as passes the clothes to you. "Binder off, yeah? Then we'll get under the blanket and turn off the lights." 

"And you still have to pick the movie." Gaz smiles.

You nod in compliance before you head to the bathroom to get changed--freeing yourself from the binder and quickly covering yourself with Gaz's shirt and Soap's hoodie. While your chest still aches just a little, the unease you expect doesn't come on as strong as you expected. 

Maybe it's the sense that you get to go back into that room with a group of guys who accept you for who you are and have never made you feel lesser. 

When you get back to the rec room, Price has returned, and the room is cast in darkness. The Captain gives you a nod, but offers no further comment--which means he won't be addressing it tonight. 

You get comfortable on the couch between Soap and Ghost, and try to ignore the groans as you make suggestion after suggestion that they all hate, and you eventually settle on something all of you have seen before. 

You snuggle under the blanket with Soap, and feel euphoric when Ghost wordlessly accepts your toes wiggling under his thigh. Every once in a while, you'll meet the eyes of your captain and see his fond gaze, or Gaz will look to you when there's something funny so he can see if you're laughing too. 

Right there, on that couch, you feel at home with your brothers, with yourself. 

#call of duty fanfiction #call of duty x reader #trans male reader #tf 141 x reader #simon ghost riley x reader #john soap mactavish x reader #kyle gaz garrick x reader #captain john price x reader #ive never written trans male reader before so if this sucks im sorry #as an enby/fluid/??? indivudal i cant say i have the right experience but i hope this is okay!!

[cookiewrites]

bang chan with a trans masc boyfriend

please enjoy these sfw/nsfw thoughts about bang chan, featuring my gender crisis. these are based on my experiences/hopes, and may not match every trans-masc person's - and that's okay!

wc: 1k

cw: bang chan x trans masc/afab! reader, mentions of dysphoria (various forms) and transition, no transphobia, brief mention of misgendering (no one actually misgenders reader), name for reader (baby, boy, boyfriend, pretty boy)

sfw

i have no doubt in my mind that chan would accept you being trans - whether you came out before you met him or whilst dating him. but let's talk coming out; he wouldn't have a learning curve, there'd be no slip ups or small mistakes. it would be an instant shift, and he'd make sure it would be the same with the kids. even if you weren't ready to tell them straight up, he'd let them all know that you were trying more masculine things and they'd just follow his lead.

he'd let you borrow all his clothes, of course. not even in the possessive my boyfriend is wearing my clothes way although yes that as well but so you can try out different styles and have access to a full wardrobe of masculine clothes as you built up your own. tbh i think you'd end up sharing a wardrobe with him from then on, it's your joint wardrobe, easy as that. he'd instantly turn compliments from beautiful to handsome, or whatever would make you comfortable. suddenly you're his prince. sometimes you'd forget you were ever not out to him.

telling him for the first time was hard, you couldn't stop crying and you were so scared, hiccupping over words and telling him over and over that it was okay if it stopped him loving you and how sorry you were and- 'you know i love you, right? and i love that i have a boyfriend now, if that's the term you're most comfortable with. either way, baby, 'm going nowhere, and i'm so so proud of you for telling me.'. he'd hug you close, too, squeezing you tight as you calm down, reminding you over and over how much he loves you as you are.

you'd expect at least a discussion and questions, and maybe him to need some time and maybe take a break and maybe break up with you and maybe- 'god i was so worried you were going to leave me, baby boy, i'm so glad this is all that's been wrong'. he's so happy that you're not going anywhere he can't stop smiling. yes he has a boyfriend, and yes it's a change but you're still his! before you really have time to grasp what has happened he's covering you with small kisses and reminding you how much he loves you.

if someone were to misgender you he'd be quick to correct them, never making a big deal out of it, just interjecting with the right pronouns or terms. if it was one of the kids he'd pull them aside later and remind them to try harder - not that they'd need it, he taught them all better than that and they'd be so happy to have another guy the group, for some of them another hyung.

he already knew a bit about being trans, but he went out of his way to research everything he could, and the ways he could support. you'd often stumble across open tabs when borrowing his laptop or visiting him in the studio. the consideration to not expect you to do all the emotional labor of explaining things the internet could easily tell him. he'd look into chest binding and medical transition in case you ever wanted to, he looked up ways to help dysphoria so you wouldn't have to teach him. he wanted everything to be as easy for you as possible.

would 100% help you with your dysphoria by almost playing dumb to what's making you dysphoric. like he wouldn't even acknowledge your chest being anything but a chest, changbin has a bigger chest, so do you, it's the same. he's not tall, and he's as much of a man as you are. dysphoria where? dysphoria what? you're just as masculine as the rest of them.

'they're just jealous i have the prettiest boyfriend' he'd whisper to you when the kids would tease you both for being so loved up. every time he says that word is makes your heart skip - he says it with so much love.

nsfw

additional cw: mentions of chan bottoming, reader receiving oral sex, reader's parts referred to with the term dick, mentions of chan giving a blowjob, praise/dirty talk

i think chan could have a relationship without sex, he would never expect or push a partner and it is as fulfilling with or without for him. that being said, sex is something chan loves; the feeling of closeness, and trust, and love. the way he loves making a partner feel good, and loved, and cared for. he is such a soft dom, and just wants to make who he is with feel good.

so when he put together that your reluctance to have sex may come from your dysphoria he starts helping you over that; and make adaptions to intimacy to make you the most comfortable. don't want to take your shirt off or wear a binder? absolutely fine, let's make sure you're safe but you never have to be naked around me. don't want penetration? amazing, chan loves playing with you in whatever way makes you feel good. want to top him? oh please, he'll be good for you and really loves whatever toy you want to pick. want him to refer to your parts with masculine names? 'god your dick is perfect baby, fuck, it's so pretty'

he's so into you that he will do anything. there was one time he gave your strap a hell of a blowjob, just because you'd mentioned in passing how frustrating it was not getting to see him like that. even the way he does go down on you changes, with or without going on t, chan gives you head instead of eats you out - there's this masculinity in the way he treats your body.

the praise during sex is always incredible, and we are all in agreement that chan is talkative during sex. he doesn't always expect a reply but simply loves telling you how incredible you are. it's through this that you find just how good it is to be with someone to truly sees what you are;

'oh pretty boy, god you're so good for me'

'f-fuck you're so deep baby, so b-big, fuck'

'i don't think i'll ever get over this dick of yours baby boy, fuck, it's just perfect'

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