#trauma bond

[demonhuntingcaterpillar]

Can I touch lightly on this topic? Have you ever loved someone that is emotionally manipulative? Someone who can mentally play you like an instrument? Have you ever had someone step into your life and slowly remove others from it? This person could have truly loved you, but loved you in a way that was so silently violent it changed you. Then, by the time you realized it and tried to pull away, you found pieces of them stitched into every part of you.

Now imagine after painstakingly cutting them out, stitch by stitch, they are thrust back into your life. Even worse, you realize you love them. No matter how much grief this relationship has caused you, you crave their love. Their fucked up love. You push away healthy love for this weird battle of wills.

I would throw us both off the cliff too. It makes perfect sense.

#nbc hannibal #hannibal #hannibal lecter #will graham #hannigram #hugh dancy #hannibalposting #mads mikkelsen #hannibal textpost #the wrath of the lamb #trauma bond #trauma bonding #emotional manipulation #there will be a reckoning

[hellfirekitten86]

New Harringrove story in the work. With the help of @thedemonicpup. This story is called Trauma Bond.

#steve harrington #stranger things #stranger things fanfiction #billy hargrove #harringrove #trauma bond

[girl-in-the-thunderbolt-suit]

Baby reindeer was brutal, triggering, uncomfortable, honest and beautiful. One of the best portrayals of someone with sexual trauma I've ever seen on TV.

#baby reindeer #netflix series #richard gadd #jessica gunning #trauma bond #abuse survivor #2024 shows #stalker #power dynamics #emotional abuse

[daughterofanarcissistwoman]

#trauma bond #breadcrumbing #narcissistic abuse #emotional abuse #inner child healing #reparenting #psychological abuse #healing from abuse #self love #boundaries #childhood trauma #gaslighting

[selfhealingmoments]

#mental health #self reflection #be yourself #new life #self improvement #letting go #self help #toxic traits #new beginnings #trauma bond #toxic partner #inspirational quotes #negativity #romanticize #past life #life lessons #moving forward #move on #let go #self worth #self love #self therapy #live for today #forget the past #forgive yourself

[dragonheartstring360]

Just a psa for fic writers who use the “trauma bond” tag, please make sure you’re using it correctly. A trauma bond is not two people who experience similar trauma and bond over it. It’s a carefully curated, manipulative bond between abuser and victim to keep the victim coming back because of the addictive highs and lows that come with abuse.

If you want to tag two characters bonding over shared trauma, a good substitute tag would be “bonding over shared trauma.” Trauma bonding is, by definition, an abusive relationship and may steer people who have experienced it away from your fic. Please spread the word and happy writing!

#important psa #just a psa #writing #creative writing #writing advice #fanfiction #fanfic #fanfic writing #ao3 #ao3 writer #ao3 stuff #ao3 fanfic #fanfic writer #fanfiction writing #fanfiction writer #trauma bonding #trauma bond #trauma #friendly neighborhood writer

[b3achysurfur]

realized they’ve formed their own trio

#Logan step away from them #third wheel 😒 #sbg #school bus graveyard webtoon #school bus graveyard #schoolbus graveyard #sbg (webtoon) #logan fields #taylor hernandez #taylor sbg #ben clark #sbg ben #logan sbg #TRAUMA BOND

[scoutingthetrooper]

I hate that loneliness makes me second guess every decision I have made in the past 6 months and makes me feel like everything would just be better if I went back into the arms of my abuser.

#I love my brain... but WTF #what the actual and absolute fuck #I get it's a #trauma bond #but yA GOTTA LET THIS SHIT GOOOOOO #when I was still in the relationship I KNEW hands down I would not get the emotional support I needed #so why is it now when I'm finally OUT my brain forgets this???? and is just like #“hey. go back to him. you'll find all the comfort you need there” #but I never did??????? #brain... who's side are you really on

[unwelcome-ozian]

#trauma bond #signs of a trauma bond

[iridescentmemoria]

#Nmom #narcissist mother #bpd mother #toxic mom #toxic parents #toxic family #mom trauma #abusive mother #abusive parent #trauma poetry #childhood trauma #cptsd #grey rock #grey rocking #narc abuse #bpd abuse #trauma #trauma bond #Nmom abuse #vent poetry #poetry #mom issues #trigger warning abuse #trigger warning childhood trauma #silent treatment #first poem #first poetry post #my poetry #depression #anxiety

[hellfirekitten86]

Trauma Bond Chapter 1: Black Eyed Secrets

~Chapter 1: Black Eyed Secret~

   Steve was sitting in the living room of his house watching TV when he heard car doors close outside. He got up from the couch and walked to the window to see his parents were home now. He groans knowing he is going to hear shit from my dad. He didn’t want to deal with his dad’s abuse today. As he was walking to grab his keys, the front door opened and his parents walked in. His dad starts in on him about not having the grades for college and being cut off. He didn’t care about being cut off. He didn’t want to live off of his parents' money. he wanted to be his own person His dad slaps and punches him trying to prove his point of Steve being worthless. He takes this opportunity when his dad walks away to run out of the house to his car.

  He got to his car and quickly got in. He could feel his eye swelling from where his dad punched him. It somewhat hindered him. He pulls out of the driveway and drives off toward Skull Rock. Going to Skull Rock was his safe space. It was the only place he could go to think and be himself. He had a few secrets about himself that he didn’t have anyone to tell. He didn’t know how to process any of it. His thoughts kept drifting to one person that he would think of as his rival in high school.

  Billy had arrived at Skull Rock. He needed to get out of the house away from that bastard of a father. Constantly hitting on him and using intimidation to make Billy fear him. Billy didn’t fear Neil, not at all but he also didn’t want to be beaten again. He leans against the skull-shaped formation with a lit cigarette in between his lips. It was quiet there and no one was around, the escape was bliss.

   Steve finally pulls up to Skull Rock. He got out of his car only to see a familiar blue Camaro in front of his car. His stomach dropped as he looked at it. He began to realize he was not going to be alone here this time around. He ran his hand through his hair before making his way to Skull Rock. He was thinking as he walked to the rock formation. Billy’s floated into Steve’s mind and his stomach filled with butterflies. He comes upon Skull Rock and sees Billy leaning against it with a cigarette in between his lips. Steve looks at him before he makes his approach. He took a deep breath and walked over. “What are you doing here, Hargrove?” Steve asked Billy.

  Billy glanced toward the familiar voice. His eyes fell on the form of one Steve Harrington. Billy had his face slightly turned away to disguise the black eye that Neil had inflicted most recently on him. “What does it look like I’m doing, Harrington?” Billy sighed on his exhale, the smoke rolling from his lips.

   Steve rolled his eyes but winced slightly from the pain in his swollen eye. He walks over to the rock formation. Steve leans against it next to Billy. His black eye facing away from him. Steve lays his head back against the rock and sighs. “What’s eating at you to bring you here, Hargrove? I never expected to find you here.” Steve glances over at Billy with his arms crossed over his chest.

   Billy side glanced at Steve. He reframes from wincing at the pain that soared through his eye that was not visible as of yet. Billy didn’t want Steve Harrington to see him as weak. “It’s quiet here, Harrington. Besides it’s not against the law to be here is it.?”

   Steve groans as Billy always had to be a smartass. He started questioning why he even would think about Billy so much. He shakes his head. “I never said it was. I know it’s quiet here. I come here all the time to think and to be alone. It’s the one place I can be myself.”

   Billy chuckles and takes another drag of his cigarette. “So what’s got up your ass to want to be here, Harrington?”

  Steve keeps his head against the rock and looks up at the sky. “I had to get away from my house. I didn’t want to be there right now.” Steve couldn’t let on that his parents were home and that his dad punched him.

   Billy smirks and shrugs. “Alright then. Honestly, I thought you would have been hanging out with that Henderson kid playing the whole Scooby Doo bullshit.”

   Steve chuckles and shakes his head. “Not this time around. Henderson is camp and the rest of the little shits are God knows where.” He runs his hand through his hair again. He glances over at Billy and slyly as possible runs his gaze up and down Billy’s form.

   Billy glances back at Steve. He noticed his eyes raking over his body. Billy smirks. “Why are you looking at me like that, Harrington? Do that too much and you might cream yourself.”

   Steve looks straight ahead again. A soft pink hue crosses his cheeks as Billy catches him. “I have no idea what you are talking about.” Steve tries to play it cool that he isn’t checking Billy out. He clears his throat. Steve decides to steer the conversation in another direction. “So, are you going to tell me what brought  you here?”

   Billy chuckles and shakes his head. “You know, Steve, you are one terrible liar that’s for sure. I’m just here to steer clear of being at home.”

   Steve looks at him in sympathy. He knew what it was like to get away from home. “Okay, I will admit, I can be a terrible liar but I have kept things secret for a very long time.” Steve sighed and closed his good eye. “Why are you trying to steer clear of home?”

   Billy turns his face away not wanting to tell Steve. “It’s complicated to explain and you wouldn’t understand.”

   Steve fully turns to look at Billy. His black eye is in full view. He leans against the rock on his side. “You never know unless you talk about it.”   Billy looks at Steve in shock as he sees his black eye. He closes his good eyes for a second. “Steve…I swear if I tell you, you best not see me as weak.”

   “Why would I see you as weak, Billy? You literally beat the shit out of me several months back.” Steve crosses his arms over his chest as he looks at Billy.

   Billy groans and turns to Steve fully, his black eye visible. “This is why.”

   Steve looks at Billy in shock. “What the hell happened?” He slowly reaches up to touch his face but quickly pulls back. He didn’t want to get hit again.

   “I could ask you the same thing. What do you think happened to me?” Billy asked Steve.

   Steve sighs and drops his hands to his sides. “My dad happened to me which is why I’m here. I’m going to guess yours is for the same reason.”

   Billy sighs. “Neil is a bastard that likes to beat on me okay? I’m here because I didn’t fancy being wailed on again.”

   “That is something I can understand. It was the first thing my dad did when he walked through the front door.” Steve leans back against the rock.

   “Neil has been doing this for years to me, even in California. Fuck knows why but shit I don’t ask for it. Neither of us asks to be beaten.” Billy says as he looks at Steve.

   “Is that why you have always been an ass since you came to Hawkins? Because of your dad?” Steve looks at Billy and he starts to get butterflies in his stomach. “No one deserves to be treated like that. Not even you.”

   “He fucking beats it into me. It’s not like any of you have seen the real Billy Hargrove.” Billy snaps slightly. Steve flinches as Billy snaps at him.

   “It’s not right.” Steve shakes his and looks at the ground. “I want to get to know the real Billy. Maybe we could actually be friends but no one needs to know about it. If you don’t want them to anyway.”

   “I’d rather them not know, Steve. I’m known for being an ass and I want it to stay that way.” Billy looks at Steve. “The real Billy is far more sensitive, he’s…different.”

   “I want to get to know that Billy. And no one will know about us being friends.” Steve smiles softly at Billy. “You know how everyone was calling me King Steve before?”

   Billy looks at Steve and gives him a slight smile back. “Yeah?”

   Steve takes a deep breath. “It was all an act. That’s not really who I am. It was all a show for my dad. I used to act like a dick and bully others but that’s not me.”

   “Well, if you want to be friends with the real Billy and not the ass, I want to be friends with the real Steve.” Billy said with a soft genuine smile.

   “You will get to know the real Steve.” Steve smiles softly back at Billy. He wanted to reach out and touch his face but he held back. “We can meet up here to hang out or when my parents are gone we can hang out at my house.”

   Billy smiles more at Steve. “I’d like that. I mean we are known to be at each other’s throats. But this could be something for just us, y’know?”

   “This will be just for us. No one needs to know about us being friends.” Steve responds with a bigger smile.

Written with the help of: @thedemonicpup

#steve harrington #stranger things #billy hargrove #fanfic #harringrove #trauma bond

[moonlit-positivity]

Trauma Bonding: You're Using That Term WRONG

And it irks me so here's a post about what trauma bonding is and what its not.

A trauma bond is a term that references a specific type of emotional abuse in which the abuser will be an abusive asshole one minute, follow that up with promises to change their behavior or flourish you with gifts and promises of changing and doing better, and then IMMEDIATELY go back to being the same abusive asshole they were the very next second. Sometimes in the same second actually.

Trauma bonding is a dynamic that repeatedly happens when the abuser escapes any and all attempts for accountability, acknowledgement, and self awareness of their part in the situation.

They will instead, beg for your forgiveness and promise you they will go to therapy, promise you they will change their behavior, promise you this and promise you that. They will fawn so sweet you'd think they were a different person altogether. And for a glimmer of a second you will believe them. They will have deployed this tactic to escape the acknowledgment and follow through of actually taking accountability and making some fucking effort to change their ways.

Then later when you ask them about it, they will get defensive. They will immediately revert back to their abusive ways. They will project, gaslight, manipulate, and blame you for bringing it up.

And this cycle repeats itself. Over and over and over and over and over and OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND

Until you're literally ready to either kill yourself or kill them to escape.

Because this shit drives you to ABSOLUTE FUCKING INSANITY.

This is what the term "trauma bonding" refers to.

Trauma bonding is NOT you bonding with your homies about the trauma y'all share together. Please stop using it in that way.

Trauma bonding is a real fucked up scenario in which you are being preyed upon for your emotional capacity to love and care for someone who is "going through a rough time," "misunderstood", "they have an abusive childhood so I know they're a little bit misguided," and "I love them," "I don't know what to do without them," "they've isolated me from everyone else so now I don't know how to get help or what that would even look like."

These types of feelings mixed in with our own low self esteem and (possible) childhood trauma, leave us CLINGING to these assholes giving us UNDENIABLY BELOW the bare fucking minimum and stuck in a cycle of harmful, abusive, and EXPLOITATIVE emotional damage.

It's psychological torture. It's psychological warfare. It's a complete mindfuck to be put through this. You never know what the fuck is happening. It's gaslighting. It's humiliating. It's shameful to know that it's happening and yet you just feel so fucking stuck and not know how to break free from it. It's humiliating to finally get to break free and see just how fucking damaged it will have you. It's humiliating to know there will be people out there who will never fucking understand what this feels like. It's a completely fucking absolute MIND FUCK to go through this.

It's also shameful to have people around you, who do not know what this feels like. Because then they will blame YOU for "not leaving sooner." And blame YOU for "not seeing the signs". And blame YOU for "not speaking up."

In reality, your heart and soul have been so fucking DESECRATED, that it turns you into a completely different person once you open your eyes to the tactics involved.

What are the tactics?

Promising change but never putting in the work

Promising therapy with no follow through

Getting defensive and shutting down the conversation in a violent and explosive manner when brought up

Buying you gifts to placate the mood

Doing something nice but you know there's an ulterior motive involved because they'll go right back to treating you like shit the next day

Using their history of childhood abuse to guilt and gaslight and manipulate you into staying

Feigning ignorance and playing dumb to get you to stay

Never taking full accountability for anything

Never recognizing their part in the situation, ever

Never acknowledging you or your feelings ever exist at all

Always turning the situation back to them and their feelings while also making you feel bad for being upset and accusing them of bad intentions

Physical violence and then apologizing and acting sweet to "make up for it"

Taking you shopping or giving you extra attention directly before or directly after being abusive & exploitative

Demanding you never give your attention to anyone else

Demanding your reactions line up with what they expect of you and getting volatile when you "disobey"

Threatening suicide if you leave

Other harmful retaliations if you leave or talk of wanting to leave

Physical abuse

Violence

Rage

Silent anger

Revenge

Dogmatic behavior

God complex behavior

"put you in your place" behavior

This is why this is such a mindfuck. Jekyll & Hyde dynamics will never have you knowing which side you'll get and when you'll get it. They will never be able to give you any sense of safety or peace of mind. They will always be like this.

If you find yourself relating to any of these, please understand that this is not your fault. This is their fault, and this is incredibly heartbreaking to realize that you have been going through something like this. And I am so fucking sorry you've ever had to go through it. You do not deserve the constant paranoia. You do not deserve the constant fear. You deserve to find a safe and reliable exit and protection from this horrific behavior.

PLEASE LEARN AND UNDERSTAND THE DIFFERENCE IN HOW YOU USE THIS TERM. TRAUMA BONDING IS A REAL FUCKING HORRIFIC THING TO GO THROUGH. IT IS NOT THE SAME THING AS BONDING WITH SOMEONE OVER THE SAME TYPES OF TRAUMA YOUVE BEEN THROUGH.

PLEASE STOP USING THIS TERM WRONG. PLEASE. I AM BEGGING YOU.

#recovery #ptsd #trauma #mental health #boundaries #healing #trauma bond #trauma bonding #abuse #abuse tactics #emotional abuse #gaslighting #childhood abuse #abusive relationships #abusive parents #abusive parenting #advice #life advice #escaping abuse #actually traumatized

[straightfromthetorturedpoetsdept]

psa and im really fucking tired of having to explain this but a "trauma bond" is a very, very, very specific phrase that refers to the bond you feel to your abuser. it is talking about how the abuse (trauma) your abuser puts you through creates a strong connection (bond) between the two of you because of the positive reinforcement that comes afterwards. the actual physical going through the abuse/being abused makes you grow closer to your abuser. it is also known as "stockholm syndrome" amongst the public but i am fucking tired of seeing people use the word incorrectly. you cannot "trauma bond" as a way to get closer to people. you cannot "trauma bond" with another but your actual literal abuser, if you have one. you do so much real life harm when you use words you don't comprehend correctly.

in other news, allistics stop looking at words and just assume you fucking know what they mean and google the definitions of new words or phrases before you use them.

#personal #trauma bond

[selfhealingmoments]

#trauma bond #attachment #codependency #toxic person #toxic people #toxic partner #self reflection #self improvement #self help #letting go #new beginnings #you got to let it go #let it go #let go #life lessons #new day #new me #new life #psychotherapy #self worth #self love #self care #keep moving forward #moving forward #mental health #inspirational quotes #forget the past #forgive yourself

[babygirlstuff]

I wish i can be someone's "favorite person", i wish i can experience being loved the same way i love. I wish i can experience that unconditional love that i so long for and crave. I wish i can experience love with that lingering sense of safety, security and warmth. I wish i can I wish i can comfortably laugh cry scream and still be sure that I'm loved in every single state. I wish i can show my darkest deepest messiest sides of me and still be accepted. I wish i can finally open up to someone without feeling the urge to runaway, hide and isolate myself. I wish someone would always chose to see the good in me the same way i always choose to see the good in my loved ones no matter how fucked up they are. Oh to experience that no matter what type of love. Oh to feel their eyes light up at the sight of seeing you, their heart warms up to the choice of spending all their time with you and their soul at peace when they're surrounded by you. Oh to be able to run to them and hide between their arms from such cruel world we live in. Oh to feel that sense of security that they won't leave for anything or anyone. Oh to feel that sense of security that someone truly loves you. And oh lord to receive that reassurance without even asking for it. Oh to feel that satisfaction of their words matching their actions. And oh to be able to let go. To be able to detach yourself from what hurts you. To be able to walk away from all the conditional limitations. To be able to stop yourself from clinging on to the breadcrumbs. To be able to accept your deepest darkest void. To be able to regain your will to live again..

#bpd #bpd vent #living with bpd #bpd thoughts #hard to swallow pills #depression #anxious attachment #trauma bond #toxic traits #bpd triggers #suicidal #anxiety #bpd love #fear of abandonment #abandonment issues #favorite person #bpd favorite person

[kimchicuddles]

Trauma Bonding :( Thank you for supporting my work: patreon.com/kimchicuddles text reads: Resurfacing after a trauma bond relationship can feel incredibly disorienting and agonizing. It feels like someone expertly picked the lock to the center of my heart, turned on the lights in all the secret rooms of my hopes and dreams, and then proceeded to set them all on fire. And the person who did this to me was my best friend, deepest confidant, the person who understood me more than I thought anyone ever could. But trauma bonding creates an intensity in connection that is at least partially a lie. True love doesn't require that I sacrifice my peace.  The person intermittently stabbing me and then gently treating my wounds might not be aware of what he's doing or why he's doing it, but it doesn't really matter."I love you so much. You are my favorite person. You are my cosmic wife throughout all timelines. Now get the hell away from me." The hardest part is that I know parts of it were real. But I need to lean into my supports and safeties APART from him. Because I know that he doesn't need a key to walk straight into the depths of my soul whenever he wants to, and I know I can't trust him in there right now.

#trauma bond #trauma bonding #codependency #come here go away #push pull