#trauma really wasn’t understood like it is today

[shadesoflsk]

YOUR? OUR MARGARET

PAIRING: Leon Kennedy x Single mom!reader

SUMMARY: Life slowed down when Leon first saw those tiny rays of sunlight. But he didn't think he would fall in love with the whole sun. Or: Leon falls in love with a single mother.

WARNINGS: Brief mentions of alcohol, government, leon's traumas, love confessions, Leon is a bit insecure and awkward but he's also a sweetheart and has a soft spot for kids, cheesy and corny type of love, this is just fluff believe me!

WORD COUNT: 4.5k

AUTHOR'S NOTE: If I had a nickel for every time I've written about Leon's transition from vendetta to death island I would have two which it isn't a lot but it's funny it happened twice. If you wish to know what song Leon played this is the one I had in mind. As always, I hope you like it. This is my Valentine's Day fic for today!

MY MASTERLIST

Gruesome scenarios and depressive states of mind have tainted Leon's path in life. However, the grizzled and gloomy agent has had a rather rough patch this last year in which he was left alone to die in his own sorrow—Raccoon City, Spain, China and his already-known addiction took a toll on him.

He doesn't have anyone to blame, nor does he want to. Yeah, he could blame the government for stripping him of his innocence and his genuine wish to help people but he felt like he had failed his nation, not the DSO, not the FBI, just him.

Behind closed doors, in the white house and for everyone else he's Agent Leon Kennedy, Mr. Kennedy, and if someone were to ask the president he'd say he's the most trusted weapon the country has. 

He has grown accustomed. His shield has hardened to the point he's numb to most things he should find disturbing or annoying yet he couldn’t help but wish someone would see him the way he really is. 

A bittersweet feeling grew in Leon’s system. Alcohol no longer brought the same dull sensation that’d put him to sleep even in the loudest and sleazy bar. So, slowly he grew out of his addiction. Not alone, though. Alongside him were a couple of therapists which he reluctantly confided in. Not because he didn’t believe in mental health, but because he thought it wasn’t for him.

Also, his friends made his life a bit better. Spare the man the embarrassment, but friendship does indeed make you see the world more colorfully. It was nice hearing his name slip out of his friends' lips. Leon, Leon! Aww, Leon. 

However, life didn’t prepare him for the moment his name was replaced by a:

Dada.

Therapists had told him he should look for a hobby, something that’d fill those moments where boredom or monotony would push him to fall back into his deadly addictions. And he completely understood, he ought to follow the experts’ advice in order to actually improve.

It was rather easier, he was not a complicated man. 

Even before the Raccoon City incident, he loved exercising. Whether it was lifting weights, cycling, or plain running he’d always be found doing something. The mere thought of just lying in bed was something he’d never engage in, especially not now that he’s getting better. 

So, he combined two things. One he was familiar with and a second one he hasn’t been able to really connect with: nature. 

Near his current apartment, there was a small park in which he goes jogging. Usually, his schedule would only allow him to go there in the early hours of the morning where the only people he’d find were retired grandparents who danced to some Spanish music he couldn’t understand.

Peaceful, he liked it. 

But when he was getting used to his daily morning jogging, a call from work told him they needed him ASAP. So, his little detoxicating activity would be postponed to the afternoon. 

After dealing with the usual stress from work, calls from Hunnigan, and a rather bothersome headache, he got to his apartment and decided to get ready and not skip his so-needed jogging. 

The afternoon sky was painted with a hue of blue mixing with the slightest orange color, the gentle breeze hitting Leon’s face as he jogged around the park. His tempo never missed a beat not even after an hour or so between his physical training and some pauses. Sweat fell from his forehead and onto the ground with each step he took, meaning that he was reaching exhaustion.

At last, he found solace under a tree that cast a shadow, perfect for Leon to catch his breath. Closing his eyes, he let his lungs inhale as much air as they could.

His peaceful moment was broken when a tiny voice called out for him. Or rather, mistaken him for someone else.

“Dada!” A little girl came walking to where he was seated, wobbly steps trying to reach him. 

“Margaret!” You appeared out of nowhere before the toddler could reach and hug the stranger. The giggling and excited kid seemed to have heard “run faster” by the way she didn’t stop at your call.

A hint of confusion washed over Leon as he watched the scene develop with rather curious eyes. A mop of curly hair running away from your grasp. The white dress turned into a slightly brown color, Leon guessed the child must have been playing in the dirt.

And then a glimpse of a faint smile replaced his previous bewilderment as his eyes fell on you. As you tried catching your daughter, he observed her antics and your patience. 

Finally, your hands lifted the little one as her tiny legs kicked in the air, ready to run in the air. 

You fixed Margaret’s dress and messy hair while her bright eyes continued being focused on the man sitting on the grass. Her hands doing the typical “grabby” motion to Leon. Sighing in defeat, you spoke to the man.

“Sorry, don’t know what happened.” You sheepishly said as you offered the man an apology for your daughter’s previous mischievous actions. “She usually doesn’t call random people dada I assure you.”

“She gave me quite the scare.” Leon chuckled as he got up from the grass. “My past actions flashed before my eyes.” 

“As I said, I’m sorry.” You repeated your words while your daughter tried wriggling her way out of your arms. When she saw that her mother’s grip wasn’t budging, she took matters into her own hands.

She started crying.

You weren’t letting your daughter play with a stranger, that much you knew. 

“My name’s Leon, by the way.” Leon said, extending his arm, but he pulled back as soon as he saw that you were too busy handling the tantrum your daughter was having. 

You told Leon your name which easily fell from his lips to confirm he heard you well. “Do you normally come here?” You asked.

“Yes, but just in the mornings.” He responded, watching the little one pouting. “Something came out today so duty called. Cops don’t rest.”

“Wait, Are you a cop?” You seemed to relax at the revelation and he couldn’t help but get a Deja Vu from this little interaction. A friend of his asked him the same question, but at least now he wasn’t surrounded by zombies.

“A cop…” A whisper came out from Leon’s lips, a playful yet gentle smile formed on his face. “Kinda.”

“I’ll assume you’re way more important than that.” You adjusted Margaret in your arms when she finally calmed. Although she kept on staring at Leon, her bright eyes focused on him. “Because if you were indeed a cop or a chief you’d be puffing your chest out.”

“Are they always like that?” He acted surprised.

“Here, in New York? I don’t know… you tell me.”

It’s been a while since he last spoke with someone this freely. Surely he has talked with his friends a lot. But they were people he had previously known and shared the same past as him, a connection to the outside world seemed impossible and even greedy in a way.

Soon, both of you found yourselves unable to stop talking, even Margaret chirped from time to time, making her opinion loud and clear. He got to know a bit about you, and you got to know little fragments of his life. The ones who wouldn’t lead him to share more than necessary, obviously.

Despite the rough exterior, his constant frowning stopped as a soft expression replaced it. Margaret's chubby hands absentmindedly held one of Leon’s fingers as he spoke with you, blabbering and being overjoyed by his presence. 

However, her cheerful mood slowly turned sour as soon as she got hungry. Glassy eyes and sobs warned you that the conversation would come to an end.

“Yup, I gotta go.” You murmured trying not to bring more stress to your already distressed baby. “It was nice talking to you.”

“Likewise.” Leon kept his hands in his pockets, unable to come up with anything else. He wanted to say that perhaps they could repeat this. But then again, he’s been so deprived of normal social interactions that he no longer knows if that would sound creepy. 

“Have a good night.” He decided it would be the wisest thing to do. He watched your soft expression as you took your little girl’s hand and waved goodbye. 

Ever since that little interaction, his schedule changed. His morning routine was long forgotten. An excuse was made, something between the lines that his shift changed so he has to work in the mornings. 

And he was delighted to spend time with both of you. The highlights of his whole day would be getting to hear about you and Margaret. 

Each day that passed meant new memories being made. From the way he got to know Margaret’s favorite ice cream flavor to your childhood dreams. Every detail mattered for him because he could now see how simple life could be.

He took—both of you mostly— on little dates. Let it be to try a new cafeteria near the park, drinking an americano while Margaret drank from her sippy cut which was filled with chocolate milk. 

However, there were times in which Margaret would stay with a friend of yours. Allowing you to be alone with Leon. And while he appreciates the joy and happiness your daughter brought, he also loved the moments in which he could focus just on you. 

Sadly, years of training didn’t prepare him to man up and make the first move. When he thought he would brush away every insecurity and second guesses, something would come up. 

He wanted to grab your hand, the waiter would come at the worst time. He wants to compliment you, he'd almost choke with his own saliva. He wanted to give you a goodbye kiss after driving you home, someone would call him.

It was as if the universe was against him.

Thankfully, you had picked up those hints. And if Leon wasn't the luckiest man out there, you can help him in his predicament.

On a usual afternoon, as Margaret played with the leaves that had fallen from the trees, you shot him a question.

“Would you like to have dinner with me?”

“Huh? Yes, it sounds nice.” Leon absentmindedly replied, thinking it would be like the rest of your dates.

“I mean… In my house. I don't think I've invited you yet.”

In the meantime, Margaret had grabbed some leaves which she placed on Leon's hair. The man didn't even react to it, already used to her antics.

“I wouldn't like to intrude.”

“You wouldn't. See it as a friendly meeting.”

Friendly meeting, of course. He couldn’t be so selfish.

“If you insist.” He says as the little one giggles, her smile just showing two teeth. “When would it be?”

“Are you free this 14th?” 

He nods, he doesn't even remember if he's in fact free. But he'd make time. 

Besides, who works on Valentine’s Day?

     ⊹˚₊‧───────────────‧₊˚⊹

He wishes he would've realized about the implications of the day sooner.

The other dates have been nothing but platonic. Of course he had been nervous, biting his nails to the point where had to put on clear nail polish. 

But this one is for Valentine's Day. Day where people confess their love in dramatic ways. Some lucky people even propose on this date. 

Leon has been out of the dating game for years. He believes he'll mess it up somehow, especially as he sees the reflection of himself in the mirror. 

Of course, he knows he's getting better. But his appearance tells everyone otherwise. His hair continues being dark, a big contrast from his past self whose blond hair would be the talk of some people.

The palm of his hand brushes over his stubble cheek. The sensation of those tiny hairs is similar to blades. He looks at his watch, there is no time to shave. The last thing he wanted was to be late on his first date.

He sighs and walks toward the table, on top of it are two bouquets. One has multiple red and pink roses, that one is for you. The other one consists of a single white rose, for Margaret. Even if he has forgotten the basics of dating, he wouldn’t go empty-handed to your home.

The drive to your house isn’t an easy one. Not because he lacked driving skills, he is pretty much proud of how well he could drive when he is not facing life-or-death situations. 

He takes his car, just for today. He knows he has to be himself and show you his love for bikes. But he would be lying if he wasn’t a tad scared about coming to your house driving his usual motorbike. What would you think? Surely you’d dump him for risking his life or something like that.

But he is so damned anxious. He turns on the radio, trying to muffle his thoughts but the first thing that comes up is a Valentine's Day advertisement. ‘Don’t mess up your date today! Try our newest product and—’ He’s trying, he doesn’t know what the ad is talking about but he needs no product for this date to be a success.

He turns off the stupid machine. After all, today’s music sucks. Nothing personal, he just doesn’t like it. He’d prefer if the radio played real music. Some Deftones and Korn would do. 

But right now he’d dance to anything. Valentine’s Day, after all, should be a romantic getaway from the normalcy of life. Even though years had made him a corny individual, if it’s with you, romanticism should never die.

He’s rambling, his head is a mess. He sees himself slow dancing with you, Somethin’ Stupid playing in the background. He foresees a future in which he could paint next to your daughter, suns and trees never looked so pretty as he imagines that scenario. 

Dating you would come with the whole pack, he knows well. But even at his age, he still feels like a broken child whenever he sees himself in the mirror. Memories of his innocence being stripped away of him and his present still clinging on to the faint threads of hope. 

So that’s why he made the promise of taking this relationship seriously. No matter if you end up being nothing more than friends. People often say that you just know when you meet the one. And he saw the beacons of lights announcing the whole sun when he met you and your little one.

Eventually, he reaches your home. Double-checking the address you had previously sent him over text, he confirms this is the place you live in. A modest house, enough for you and Margaret. 

He switches off the engine and takes out the key from the ignition. Placing his hands one last time on the steering wheel, he takes a deep breath, mentally preparing himself. And with a newfound conviction, he grabs the two bouquets and gets out of the car.

When he walks towards the door, he immediately knocks. If he dared to wait just a second just to calm his anxiety, he’d spend at least 5 minutes staring at the wooden material. So, he sacrifices that priceless time in order to face reality.

A ‘coming’ is heard by Leon a few seconds after he knocks. Eventually, the front door opens and you welcome him with Margaret in your arms. “Hey.” You greet him, Margaret doing the same as she waves her hand.

“Hey, you two.” Leon says with a warm smile, trying to hold back the fact that there hasn’t been a better image than this. “I couldn’t come empty-handed to your house so I took the liberty to bring you these.”

Leon then hands you the bouquets he had brought—the bigger one for you, and the smaller one with a single rose for Margaret. 

“Are these for me?” A dumb question, of course. But there’s no harm to ask and surely it would get a nice reply from Leon who has been dancing around the idea of flirting with you. Too scared to come off as awkward and silly.

“I don’t see another pretty woman around here.” It slips so smoothly out of his lips. Leon Kennedy, you still got it, he mentally praises himself. 

“Yeah, right.” You roll your eyes, satisfied with the answer you received. “Please, come in.”

Leon nods and enters your house. The living room was nicely organized, and the way some toys blended in with the decoration brought a smile to his face. The perfect balance between the sober expected room with the colorful and childish playthings.

You set Margaret on the floor not before giving her the rose Leon gifted her. She absentmindedly walks toward the couch and sits down to inspect what an amazing thing the funny man brought.

“Well, looks like she likes them.” Leon hums as he watches how Margaret starts happily tearing the flower into tiny pieces. Her antics filling Leon’s heart, he could get used to this feeling.

He wants to.

“Yup, definitely.” And your eyes meet Leon’s, his piercing blue eyes are not cold as he often thinks. They remind you of the beach sea, of the gentle waves and the gentleness they carry. 

And he sees himself in yours. In your eyes, he isn’t a cold and depressed agent who is fighting off the odds. He admires the man he’s becoming. The man who despite everything he has experienced, wants to do better.

“I haven’t told you yet but…” Leon trails off as he gathers the courage to do this simple yet nerve-wracking action. “Happy Valentine’s Day.”

He grabs your hand and brings it to his lips. Without breaking eye contact, he kisses your knuckles. A gentleman through and through. If he could win your heart, he’d do anything to protect both of you.

Although he was lying, even if he weren’t to win you over, you have already gained a friend who would literally save the world for you to live in with your most beautiful miracle. 

“You’re sappy.” You shake your head laughing, but you don’t push Leon away. In a way, your teasing comes off as a thank you. 

“And you break my heart.” He chuckles, letting go of your hand which falls to your side.

As it does, your eyes fall on Margaret. While she continues playing with torn pieces of the flower, you see her head swaying slowly from side to side, as if fighting off sleep. 

“It’s nap time for little Margaret.” You break the silence as you walk toward Margaret whose tiny fingers still try to tear up the already destroyed rose. 

You pick up Margaret and with the way she isn't getting fuzzy, your assumption was correct. She is fighting against Morpheus, sadly losing.

You glance at Leon who is standing in the same place you left him. Admiring the scene of you carrying your daughter. 

“Would you like to help me?” You murmur. 

Of course he does, he wants nothing more but to embark on this new life. He has seen so much horror and for once, he wants to indulge in this domestic dream of his.

“If you let me.”

Humble, timid, and definitely not showing how enthusiastic he was about helping you. 

You nod and guide him upstairs. Margaret’s room was just next to yours, even though you prefer to sleep with her, still too nervous about her getting tangled in her own blankets.

As both of you reach the room, shades of pink and white greet Leon. Some toys are scattered around the floor too. Proof of Margaret’s wholesome behavior. 

Margaret shifts in your arms, her previous peaceful demeanor changing given the frustration of not falling asleep yet. She is pretty much easy to handle when nap time comes, but today is one of those days.

“You told me I could help.” Leon's hushed voice reaches you. His eyes express the need to assist you in a task like this. 

“Sure…” Your heart flutters as Leon steps up to help you. You indeed asked him if he wanted to come with you. But the fact he had so eagerly accepted the role made you appreciate him even more.

If that was even possible.

As Margaret starts letting out soft cries, you hand her to Leon who is quick to catch her. At first, Margaret is held rather awkwardly which brings a smile to your face before her cries get really serious.

You help Leon by moving his hand. That gains a quiet ‘ok ok’ meaning that he got the hang of it. 

He positions Margaret on his chest, her face seeking the crook of his neck as she continues letting out tiny sobs. With his hand supporting his back, he rocks her.

If anyone were to see him, they'd think he's a father holding his daughter. But in his mind, he's holding your world, his world. 

Oblivious to it, Leon started humming a song. He doesn’t know where he had heard it before. Maybe it came from his mother, a memory he thought was deeply buried in his mind.

Eventually, your baby falls asleep which definitely boosts Leon’s mood as she grins. He's built for this! He thinks.

He lays Margaret in her crib. The little one breathes slowly as she drifts off to dreamland.

Both of you slowly and quietly walk out of the room making sure not to make any loud noise and wake the sleeping princess. 

As you slowly descend from the stairs and are once again in the living room, Leon’s mind is filled with expectations.

What's next?

What is he supposed to do now? 

As if on cue, your words break the silence.

“I forgot to order the food.” You sheepishly admit as you nervously laugh. Between cleaning the house before Leon came and taking care of a toddler the fact that a dinner without food wouldn't be a dinner slipped out of your mind.

“I'll do it right now just give me a second to search for this one restau—”

“Hey, it's okay.” Leon reaches for your arm before you can walk toward where the phone is. He takes this opportunity to do all the things he has wanted to do with you. To accomplish each one of those silly yet endearing wishes of his.

“Besides… this is a great excuse for us to bond more.”

He lets go of your arm but instead, his hand takes out his cellphone. Your eyes curiously watch as he types something.

For a moment, Leon doesn't utter a word and you can see how his fingers are slightly shaking.

Leon looks up from the phone and gives you a gentle smile before he sets the phone aside. After a couple of seconds, the slow and wistful chords of a piano announce the beginning of a song.

“May I have this dance?” Leon extends his hand toward you. 

You opt to accept his hand. In the back of your mind, you wanted to tease him one more time. Just like you did when he told you happy Valentine’s. But you feel this is way more important than those simple words.

As your hand locks with his, he pulls you closer to his body. His free arm finds its home in your lower back, not too low to keep it PG and not to discomfort you in this intimate dance.

Letting him guide you, you sway from side to side. His past self wouldn't have imagined that he could reach this level of serenity and tranquility. The simple thought of having a family was like a faraway dream.

Your head rests comfortably on Leon's shoulder, the scent of his cologne being your new favorite aroma. The one that brings you memories from the time you met him to all the dates you had that led to this very moment.

The song continues its course, and the outside world is forgotten for a moment. No words are exchanged as both of you drown in the homely feeling of dancing in each other's arms.

After a while, without lifting his head and allowing his lips to ever so slightly graze against your ears, Leon's voice cut through the peaceful melody.

“Let me in.” He whispers, his hands ever so slightly tightening around your middle section. His words brush against your ear like the soft melody that plays in the background. 

“What do you mean?” 

“Let me in, in your life. I don’t want to ask you to just be your partner.” The weight and truth of his statement turn your head in a messy place. “I want to be part of your life and Margaret’s.”

He wants to stick around, he wants to be greeted by you and Margaret each time he comes back from a mission. He wants to give Margaret the childhood he never had. And, he wants to fulfill every little dream you and he may have. 

“I want to wake up next to you each morning. To Margaret telling us she's hungry in her own way.” He's always been a man of few words, but in this moment he could recite the whole bible if he wanted. 

“I want to put Margaret to sleep every day just like I did today. And I want to sleep next to you every night, knowing that you're safe.”

“I don't want you to be a memory.” His lips move to the side of your face, daring to kiss your cheeks in a sweet manner. “I want you to be my whole life.”

Smoothly and with ease, his words fall from his lips while his tempo never falters. His thumb now softly rubs your skin, where his hand is located to support your back in the dance.

He'd want to take pride and tell you he's that good with words. However, many times he has rehearsed this speech that if he had stumbled on his words he'd have let the earth swallow him.

And as the song came to an end, so did Leon’s confession. 

A few seconds of silence create the worst nightmare in Leon's imagination. He could already hear your words telling him you don't feel the same that you're already in love with someone else or—

Your knuckles caress Leon’s face, feeling the growing stubble on his cheek and jaw. The sensation of being touched like this has been a long-distance memory that he's completely forgotten what being loved felt like.

He now feels both of your hands cupping his face, prompting him to look you in the eyes. His blue eyes lock with yours and admire the softest of expressions drawn on your face.

As he gazes into you, he can only think how in love he is. And what a good life awaits for him.

And what feels like both an eternity and a split second, your lips connect with his in a tender yet meaningful kiss. One that he's been expecting after all this time.

The one is indeed not a myth.

AUTHOR'S NOTE 2: I had so much fun writing this. There's something about found family that makes me all soft and sappy lmao. And sorry if my despiction about cops is wrong... I've never set foot in the US so spare your writer the embarrassment. Anyway, I hope you all have a beautiful day! No matter if you spend it with your lover, friends or alone. (Dividers are from: @/cafekitsune)

💬 SHADESOFLSK: Comments, reblogs and likes are very much appreciated.

#leon kennedy x reader #leon kennedy x you #leon kennedy #leon s kennedy #leon kennedy fluff #resident evil #resident evil x reader

[magics-neptunes-things]

Hate and love

Hello!

This one is from a request, you still can ask me to write something if you want to :)

I have to say that I'm not really sure about this one, but here it is.

Enjoy ♥

TW : Angst, harassment, divorce, loneliness.

______________________________________________________________

Your arrival in Barcelona at the winter transfer almost a year ago has gone rather well. You quickly bonded with most of the players and you didn’t have any trouble becoming a part of the FC Barcelona family. You maybe wasn't in the Top 3 of the public favorite players, but you don't really mind. You were a bit sad about the departure of some of them this summer, especially Jenni and Ana who were kind of mentors for you during these few months. And even if you continue to exchange news with them, you must admit that it is not the same.

Playing previously in Seville, you already knew quite well some of the players of the team, usually staying on the pitch after the matches to chat a little. You were separated during the World Cup, your national team not being strong enough to pass the qualifications you were in the first to return to training in Barcelona. This did not prevent you from making the trip to Australia to support your friends and obviously the Spanish national team.

You celebrated their victory from the VIP party with friends and family before returning to Barcelona in your daily routine. The world champions have gradually returned to training and you have welcomed new players to the team, always in a good mood.

Everything seems perfect told like that, yet there is something that bothers you since your arrival in Barcelona.

Aitana Bonmati.

She never seemed very happy to see you arrive and you never understood why. At first you said to yourself that she was perhaps afraid that your arrival would cause an imbalance in the group, as can happen sometimes when an element has a too strong personality. Some are afraid of change and you have not asked yourself more questions than that, letting this information slip into a corner of your brain. She wasn’t necessarily part of the small group of girls you trained with regularly anyway since you don’t play in the same spot on the field.

But this summer, you could see that the new arrivals had the right to a big smile and other privileges to which you were not entitled. It’s not really a question of ego, but you don’t understand what you did to her to make her react this way with you. And that's hurt.

You have even noticed with the passing of time that she tends to be rather unpleasant with you, not responding to your hello when you arrive in the locker room for example. It happens to her to roll discreetly her eyes when you speak and you even surprised once Ona throwing her an elbow in the ribs while making the big eyes. It was a relief to see that you were not crazy and that your teammates were taking your side, but it also confirmed what you thought.

And gradually, it plunged you into a kind of constant anxiety, reminding you of some of your traumas during your childhood and adolescence. During which you were often mocked, the girl who preferred to play football rather than dance. Your father always supported you in your choices, unlike your mother, your big brother and your big sister. When they separated you went to live with him and he sacrificed a lot so that you would be where you are today, but you never had the heart to tell him about the harassment you were experiencing at school.

**********

"Can I talk to you?"

Alexia’s voice surprises you while you were focused on the laces of your Converse, making you jump a little. Lost in your thoughts, you were ruminating about the disaster you were during this training. You didn’t put a single ball in the net, you got so distracted that you got a remonstrance from Jona and you almost kill Mapi with a bad pass. Mapi preferred to laugh and quickly came to reassure you by giving you a friendly slap in the back and a hug, to your greatest relief. You would have been horrified to be hated by another of your teammates.

"Sure" you mumble without looking at her.

Alexia’s voice was sweet when she offered to follow her to one of the conference rooms and you complied after picking up your bag and stuff. All the other girls have already returned and the corridors now seem deserted.

When you arrive in the room, you watch Alexia open the blinds slightly as you stand against the wall, very close to the door. You’re anxious and just waiting to be scolded. It often happened like this, teachers taking you aside to say that you weighed on the morale or level of the class. That you had to work on it if you wanted to be accepted and have good results. But no one ever seemed to wonder why you didn’t get along with your classmates. No one ever noticed or understood the harassment you were experiencing. You never mentioned that either, but you would have given ten years of your life for someone to notice. Anyone.

So when Alexia turns to you with an almost maternal expression, it completely disarms you. Her eyes were soft and you can easily detect a form of concern in it.

"You can come closer, I won’t eat you" Alexia gently smiles before sitting on one of the tables, probably to make this conversation less formal.

After hesitating for a second, you settle down in front of her playing nervously with your hair.

"What can I do for you?" you ask, instead of "How are you gonna let me know that I’m gonna heat up the backup bench over the next few weeks?"

"I just wanted to make sure that everything was fine. You seem a little out of place these last few days and it’s starting to worry us. I talked with Jona about it today"

She seems embarrassed to tell you that she told someone else about you without you knowing, making you frown. Your facial expression is probably misunderstood by your captain as she hastens to add

"Don’t take this the wrong way. we’re just worried about you"

"I... I'm fine"

You shrug before biting your lip. You are a bad liar, you know it. And it didn't fool Alexia.

"You don’t have to tell me if you don’t feel comfortable with it. But there are other people here who will listen to you with pleasure."

"Don’t worry about me. It was just a time like this, but I’ll be fine"

Because it's what you always did. Figuring and fighting things alone, even if you have now friends who you trust and who you know you can count on.

"You don't have to do that alone, you know"

"Why do you even care?"

You roll your eyes. Sur Alexia is a great captain, and you like her a lot. As a friend of course, but you can't denied that she deserve her title. Like most other girls she is sincerely kind and knows how to distinguish between competition and friendships in the locker room. This is an example for you, as it is for many other girls. And even if she knows all this, she remains modest and does not take the big head. Pretty impressive, in your opinion.

"Is that even a question Y/N?"

Alexia laughs, but it’s a surprise laugh. She seems surprised at the sincerity of your question. And, seeing that you don't answer, she gently shakes her head before answering you.

"Because we care, you're part of this family and even if half of us are totaly crazy, we care for each other. Whatever your problem is, you don't have to figure out alone."

And these sentences, even if it seems to be the most natural thing for Alexia, break down the barriers you have put up until now. You feel tears wet your cheeks without being able to do anything to stop them. As if the dam that you had formed all these years had broken and all the tears that you had retained until today finally decided to come out. And obviously, it bothers you terribly.

You mumble excuses between two sobs, but after more or less calling you an idiot, Alexia breaks the distance between you two to take you in her arms and rock you against her. You don’t know how long you stay like this, but you still stop crying.

So you tell her everything.

The harassment when you were little, from part of your family and the children in your classes. The divorce of your parents which you feel responsible despite everything, this feeling of loneliness that you have since you were born certainly. This feeling of never being fully understood by anyone, until you arrived here. And then you talk about your teammate who reminds you of that, without giving her name. You don’t want to be a problem and Alexia doesn’t ask you to name her. Maybe because she already knows who she is?

The blonde listens to you without saying a word, patiently wiping the tears that continue to roll on your cheeks. When you are silent, exhausted by these confessions and your tears, she speaks again in a calm and soothing voice.

"I’m not going to pretend that I understand you because I was lucky enough to have a family that always supported me. I wouldn’t be here without them, honestly."

The bond between Alexia and her mother, even her sister is know by anyone. You nod, still looking at her.

"But you, you made your way all by yourself. You're only 21 Y/N, you don't realise how strong you are. But being strong doesn't always mean you have to be alone. You have friends here, people who love you and care for you. You are not alone anymore."

With that you smile at her, feeling relieved. As if the weight of all these years were coming off your shoulders. You even feel like you can breathe better. So you thank Alexia, with simple words but you couldn’t explain how much you think about them. As she lays a kiss on your cheek, you put your arms around her neck to hug her and press your words. She gives you your hug back before training you out of the room. Tomorrow is another day and you promise to do better than that.

**********

The rest of the workouts of the week are much better and you decide to completely ignore Aitana. You remain polite nevertheless, but you act as if she's not there. And this seems to annoy her even more but you decided that's not your problem. Many times you feel her look burn your back and you have time to see her black look before she realizes that you are looking at her and she looks away.

But your morale and your game are back to normal and it’s a great relief for you. For Alexia and your coach too, the man simply slips you a short compliment at the end of a session. No need to make tons and that’s enough for you.

The last practice before the next game goes as usual. You do your warm-ups with your fellow defenders, then you are shuffled for courses and drills before a five-player mini-team tournament is organized. You feel a form of anxiety that makes your heart beat when your team is against Aitana, but you decide to focus on the game.

It goes pretty well until you are tackled a little too ferociously by someone from the opposing team. The pain in your ankle and instantaneous and you can’t hold a cry of pain as you collapse to the ground.

"What the fuck Aitana?" Mapi snaps, but you don't really care for now.

The second duel that took place next to you seems to have stopped too, but the tears of pain that fill your eyes prevent you from seeing it for the moment.

"You're ok?"

Irene has knelt beside you and you feel a compassionate hand behind your back. Long black hair obscuring part of the view informs you that it's Ingrid. You answer a simple no with a nod and a few minutes later you are transported to the infirmary. Ona offered to accompany you and you agreed, realizing that you didn't want to be alone.

**********

"Sprain" informs you the nurse and you let yourself go against the file of the infirmary bed on which you are. "It means rest for two weeks."

You pout, but turn your attention to Ona when she places a friendly hand on your arm. You are so used to spending this kind of time alone that you sometimes forget for a few seconds that she is with you. You must be able to easily win the worst friend award.

"At least it’s not the ligaments" Ona said softly.

"You’re right" you sigh.

She gives you a compassionate smile and you assure her that she can take a shower and change. You still have the prescription to wait and the nurse must come back with your brace and crutches. After making sure you weren’t going to go home with an Uber but with her and Lucy, she eventually left the room. She even offers to inform the rest of the team of your injury and you accept willingly, not wanting to go to put a show there downstairs.

A few minutes pass and you always wait when someone knocks on the door.

"I still haven’t finished Ona, but you can come in."

Except that it is not Ona who enters, but Aitana. The look fixed on her shoes and the air of someone who goes to the torture room. And this time, the anger you had not yet felt takes hold of you.

"I came to apologize" Aitana mumbles without turning her eyes towards you.

"Well, it's done" you answer coldly, turning your back on her.

You don’t want to look at her. You’re mad at her, at her behavior. That she doesn’t like you is one thing, but that she makes you unable to play for two weeks is another.

"It wasn't voluntary"

You hold a sarcastic laugh and slowly shake your head.

"Ok."

Aitana seems surprised at your reaction, but you don’t care. It's true that usually you are more the one who flees the conflict and who prefers to go with the idea of the person in front of you to please her. She stands there and it annoys you. So you suddenly turn your head in her direction and you talk to her dryly.

"All right, you can go now. Just leave me alone."

The tone of your voice seems to make her react since she frowns and steps in your direction.

"Don’t talk to me like that."

You feel your heart racing, you have never been very good at dealing with disputes and emotions. Until now you had managed to buried them deep inside when they became too powerful but it seems that since your confessions to Alexia you are no longer able to do so. She says it’s a pretty good things, but you're not really sure about that.

"Don’t tell me how to talk to you when you’ve been treating me like shit since I got here, Aitana."

Aitana is stunned. She never saw you angry and expected you to accept her apology so that she could get out of this room as quickly as she got in. Her lost look irritates you a little more, she knew very well what she was doing by behaving as she did since the beginning. And you gradually realized that you didn’t deserve this.

"Who made you come here? Mapi, Alexia, Jonatan?"

She blushs and it's enough for you to understand that you are right. If she had the choice, she would never had been here, begging for your forgiveness.

"Get out" you groan, turning your back at her once again.

She didn't and you sigh before getting up as you can. It may not be the most graceful way to do it and it may take some drama off the stage, but you don't care.

"I said get out" you say, raising your voice now. "You don't want to be here and I don't want you here."

But she’s still not moving and your patience is coming to an end. From now on there is nothing else that separates you, except the bed on which you were lying a few moments ago. The nurse still hasn’t come back, but this might be the time to do it please.

"I- " began Aitana, without saying anything more.

"What do you want? Two weeks without me aren't enough? Want to break my other leg too?"

The frustration you feel about not understanding Aitana’s reaction and behavior may be pushing you a little to say things you never had the courage to say before. But it was less positive to return the floor to your interlocutor, whose face and eyes finally come alive again.

"I told you I didn't mean it" she half-screams and you snort. "Maybe I was wrong for acting with you like I did but..."

"Maybe?!" you interrupt her coldly.

"You made my life a living hell! You came here with your damn smile and skills and all my life fell appart!" Aitana is clearly shooting now and you blink, surprised by her rage. "I was in an healthy relationship, happy in my life and with this team. And you came along and everything fell apart! I am straight ok, I am so fucking straight but all I can think about all the time is you! I hate you for the way you make me feel but I'm not fucking able to change it even if I tried since you are here"

It is your turn to remain silent, your brain analyzing each of the words that she just said. And all this has absolutely no meaning for you, except the part where she confesses her hatred to you perhaps. Aitana’s breathing is fast and noisy, you can’t tell if it’s that or your screams that didn’t allow you to realize that you were no longer alone in the room.

"Hmm."

You look over Aitana’s shoulder and you realize that Ona has returned to the room with Lucy holding your crutches and a sheet of paper while she herself carry your bag.

"Maybe it’s time to go home"

Lucy’s perfectly expressionless face keeps you from knowing how long she’s been here. Two steps behind her, Ona makes her look between you and Aitana without saying anything. You nod and pass in front of Aitana with a limp, Ona reacting by breaking the last meters to help you take your crutches in hand.

You follow them silently to Lucy’s car and after some arguments with Ona you finally agree to sit in the passenger seat. By taking your phone out of your pocket, you realize that you have received some messages from your teammates wishing you a good recovery. And you quickly understand that they have created a tournus between them so that you are not alone at home. There will apparently be only during the trip next weekend where you will not have peace. But it makes you smile and a little forget what just happened.

"You want to eat with us tonight?" Lucy asks.

"Nah I'm good thank you. I usually watch some crap TV show on friday night."

You see Lucy peeking at you to make sure you’re not playing superhero and you feel the way she’s measuring you. You look up and sigh.

"I assure you it’s okay. Enjoy your Friday night, I’ll probably go to bed early anyway."

This time it's Ona that Lucy looks through the rearview mirror but neither of them insists, to your relief. Being alone doesn't bother you. Once at home, Ona helps you get out of the vehicle and before she can open her mouth, you speak again.

"I promise, i'm fine Ona."

"All right. I’ll leave you alone on the condition that you swear on your cat’s head that you will write me if you're not okay."

"Leave the poor cat alone" you joke, making her smile. "I promise."

**********

The doorbell on your front door makes you frown. You’re sitting on your couch, a blanket on your legs and your cat on your stomach. Your sprain is better, it must be said that after a week and a half of rest it would be dramatic that this is not the case. You have resumed muscle training, but it is obviously out of the question that you start running again for now. You can now move without your crutches and it was a great relief to be able to get rid of them. Your ankle is still carefully immobilized but you are now doing quite well.

Salma left your apartment half an hour ago, and you’re supposed to stop receiving visitors. Your father phones you every day and hasn’t done it yet, but he has no reason to show up here unannounced. That’s really not his style.

The bell rings again, waking up your cat who is rustling a little before going to eat croquettes in the kitchen. So you get up from the couch and go to the door, opening it without removing the safety chain to see who it is. And almost immediately you close the door, but the fingers of Aitana who slip into the opening prevent you to do so.

"Don’t make me break your fingers"

"Just let me in"

"No? What the hell"

"Y/N, please…"

The despair of her voice makes you flinch and you press your forehead against the door. You’re too sensitive to people’s distress to leave someone with that feeling. Even if it was Aitana herself who put you in this emotion there a few weeks ago. You sigh and, already regretting your gesture, you open the door to let her in. You avoid looking at her when she enters your home, closing the door behind her.

"You have a cat?"

You refrain from pointing out that if she had been interested in you instead of making you regret your arrival, she would know. If you don’t talk about your cat several times during the day, there is a problem.

"How do you know where I live?"

Aitana stop looking at your cat who spread out on your plaid to turn to you. With your arms crossed, you wait for his answer with a certain hint of curiosity. Aitana has never set foot in your house and if you are not mistaken, she does not really live in the neighborhood.

"I asked Irene"

She shrugs and you signal her to settle down on the couch. You go back to your place, gently pushing your cat to be a little more comfortable. With a simple look he made you understand that you're annoying, making you smile gently. You caress him to apologize as he stretches, rolls into a ball and closes his eyes.

"I came to apologize"

Sitting on the edge of the couch, Aitana looks at you with the same suspicion as if she had been the last piece of meat in the middle of a horde of hungry lions.

"I’ve already heard that before" you answer by arching an eyebrow

"I know. But I just... I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, really. My problems shouldn’t have affected you. I should have handled things differently, but I was confuse and scared."

She looks sincere and does not look away when you judge her with yours. Next to you your cat stretches lazily before turning around on the other side and continuing his nap.

"Ok. Apologizes accepted"

She looks at you so long it makes you uncomfortable. You have never been in her presence for so long and you find yourself nervously wrapping your hair around your finger.

"If I could, I would do things differently, you know? I understand it’s out of the question that something is happening between us now, but I would like to start all over again. Get to know you, possibly offer you a date and then two if things go well."

You’re slowly biting your lip looking at her. You’d be lying if you said that the words she said in the infirmary didn’t mark you. You were far from imagining that the reason for his behavior was related to an attraction to you. You think it’s pretty toxic, but you like to think people deserve a second chance. After biting your lip, you bend over and reach out to her.

"Well... Hi. I'm Y/N, nice to meet you."

#aitana bonmati #aitana bonmati x reader #woso imagine #woso x reader

[punching-pentagrams]

Stolen Away

Here is the one shot for my first giveaway winner @hawke1917 ! Enjoy!

Lucifer x fem sinner reader

Word Count: 4.6 k

CW: Trauma, Anxiety, Kidnapping, Fluff, Fear, Hurt/Comfort, Angst Depictions of Violence, Torture

It was a relatively peaceful morning in Hell, you stood out on the balcony of your room that you shared with Lucifer and watched the residence below as you brushes out your hair. At some point you feel a hand on your arm, and you turn to she Lucifer smiling at you with loving eyes.

“May I?” he said, holding out a hand for the brush. You smiled and handed the brush to him, you loved how much he loved brushing your hair. You never wanted to make him feel obligated, but he always seemed to find you when you were brushing your hair or he would find times to play with it. And you were never upset by it because his touch was to die for.

Lucifer started to brush, “How are you this morning, my love?” he asked.

“I am doing well, it’s nice today, I like people-watching on days like this,” you smiled and sighed at the blissful sensory of Lucifer brushing through your hair. He blushed to see you so content at his touch. After a few minutes, he too looked out over the city.

“It is nice, isn’t it? Would you like to go out shopping with me in the city today?” he asked.

You turned and pulled him into a tender kiss, “Yes! I would love to. Let me go get ready.” You ran off to your closet, leaving Lucifer in a lovely daze on the balcony with the brush in his hand. He set down the brush and get himself ready as he waited for you. Along with his usual outfit, he also put on a necklace that you had gotten for him a few months ago as pet of a matching set. He wasn’t much of a jewelry guy but he loved matching with you or wearing things you got him.

You came out in a nice top and skirt with comfortable shoes for walking the city in, as well as the necklace than matched his own. Lucifer looked you over as you came out and gave you a dopey smile, “Hells you are beautiful.”

You giggled, “I feel a little underdressed next to you though,” you said, flicking the tip of his hat.

He looked down at himself and then as your sheepishly, “Is it too much? I can change!”

You took Lucifer’s hand, “No no! I was just teasing you, Luci. You look wonderful. Come on, let’s go out!”

You give him a kiss and start to pull Lucifer towards the door. You knew you had to get him going or else he would overthink that comment into an oblivion, you loved him so much but his anxiety and depression could just engulf him sometimes if he couldn’t get distracted fast enough. It was getting much better over time. But you still worried about it at times.

Before long, you and Lucifer make it down to the shops of the entertainment district of the Pride ring. It couldn’t be helped that you too would attract the stares and comments of the people of Hell, mostly people gawking and wanting to talk to Lucifer, which you understood, he was the King after all!

Some people also wanted to talk to you though, wondering how you snagged the King, some weird comments about you stealing him from Lilith, and then every once in a while you would get someone who just wanted to tear you down. Today was one of those days, because it wasn’t someone you could identify, just every once in a while you would hear a quick word or phrase. “Fake”, “sellout”, “homewrecker”, “slut”. They were all so spread out over the day that you didn’t really notice a pattern, Lucifer noticed one of the words on a more quiet part of the walk and got angry, shouting towards the sound, and you wrapped your arms around him to calm him down.

“Sweetheart, it’s ok, don’t feed into it, they just want to get a rise out of us,” you said calmly, holding his face.

“I know… I just hate that they are going after you. Lilith and I had an amicable split and she knows that I’m with you now. That should not be anyone else’s business,” he pouted.

You gave him a soft smile, “We are in hell baby, this is going to happen. Come on, let’s go get some food.” He sighs, tucks a stray hair behind your ear, kisses you, and then takes your hand as you walk together down towards a favorite food place of yours. On your way to the restaurant, you saw a store on the was that had the most adorable little circus clown rubber duck in the window, you almost pointed it out to Lucifer, but then you realized that you would rather it be a surprise, so you kept quiet and had a thought to come back for it later.

You two arrived at your favorite lunch spot, and of course one of the staff scrambles seeing the King of Hell at their front door. Lucifer tries to help the poor sinner remain calm and you get set up at a table. Lucifer reaches over to hold your hand during most of the meal, partly because he was romantic like that, but also because all of the attention was starting to make him feel nervous. He liked being out with you but fuck, these sinners sometimes made it really hard to be out. You tried to sooth him by rubbing your thumb on the back of his hand, and you watched him relax a little. He sighed, maybe he should have dresses down a little, maybe he wouldn’t have gotten as noticed then.

Food came and the both of you ate and chatted, giggling and having fun. At the end, Lucifer went to go pay for the meal. You told Lucifer then that there was a store you wanted to go to by yourself really quick and that you would be right back. Lucifer gave you a quick kiss before you walked out and down to the store. You tried not to run, but you were just so excited about this duck, it just fit his vibe so well.

You walked into the store and saw an imp in a cowboy hat and bright yellow eyes at the counter. They saw you approach and gave you a big smile, “Welcome in! It’s an honor to have you in your highness!” he said with a a southern accent and a wide sharp smile, a smile that almost felt a little forced.

“Oh… hahah… oh no I’m no royalty,” you added.

The imp laughed and walked around the counter, holding a glowing white lasso, “Haha, oh I know.” He quickly tossed the rope and caught you in it, spinning you in tightly before you can get free. You try to scream but he uses his tail to hold a knife to your throat, and not just any kind of knife, one made of angelic steel. You went quiet.

“Ahh, a smart one I see. Figured you may have been at least a little familiar with this metal. Seeing as how you and your Princess’ little friends seemed to be dripping in it several weeks ago,” he sneared. So… he had been watching you?

“What do you want from me?” you asked quietly.

“I want you to come with me,” he said, tugging the rope tighter, “we are gonna go someplace where your little King will never find you.” He laughed and you felt a sharp pain in the back of your head before everything went dark.

Over near the restaurant Lucifer waited for 10, 20, 30, minutes, and you never returned. He started to get nervous. He sent you a text or two and you didn’t respond. This was not like you at all. After the half hour, he decided to just call you. There was no ring, it went straight to voicemail, a chill ran up his spine. He called again, voicemail. And again, voicemail.

At this point, Lucifer was starting to panic. He took off and started to fly up and down the streets, most were just marveling at his wings, but a few called out to him. “My girlfriend, (y/n), she was just with me and now I can’t find her. Has anyone seen her?” He gave your description, showed a picture of you to a few people, even showed the necklace to see if anyone had seen someone with the same one. One person pointed him towards the shop that you went into. He went towards it and landed, seeing the circus rubber duck in the window, is that what you had come here for?

He walked in but saw no one there, “Hello!” he called out, still on guard. He heard a noise from a hall closet. He carefully went and opened the door, and a young imp woman tided in ropes tumbled out. Lucifer got her free of the ropes quickly.

“What happened?!” he said to the woman.

“Your majesty! I… I don’t know! This man came in, an imp, cowboy hat and yellow eyes, southern accent. He tied me up and shoved me in here! I heard someone else come in, a woman that he called “your highness”. I think he took off with her.”

“Where?!” Lucifer yelled.

The woman pulled back, “I don’t know! He didn’t say! Please don’t hurt me, your majesty!”

Lucifer took a breath, realizing he was scaring an innocent woman. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to yell at you… I have to find her.” He ducks out of the shop and takes to the air, looking to find and signs of you or the imp the woman had mentioned. But this man was quick and he had gotten you out of there quickly, there was no trace of you or him.

What could he do? Where was there to start looking for you? Who could he call? One of the Sins? He thought quickly, thinking about who would be the best to call. Then he remembered that Ozzie had told him about his boyfriend Fizz getting kidnapped several months ago, maybe he would have an idea of where to start. From the skies, Lucifer started a video call with Ozzie.

Ozzie’s face showed up on the screen, “Hey Luc, not like you to call out of, ohhhh noooo, Lucifer what’s wrong?” Ozzie said after seeing Lucifer’s face.

“It’s (y/n), I think she’s been kidnapped. Please I need help and I don’t know where to start,” Lucifer wailed into the phone.

“Oh shit! Uhh… ok, hang on.” Ozzie’s faces move to look at someone off screen. “Fizzy? Do you have the number of that old friend of yours?” Muffled response from Fizzaroli. “Ya, Blitzø.” Muffled response. “Shit.” Muffled response. “Stolas? Ok.” Ozzie looked back at the camera, “Do you mind if I add Stolas Goetia to the call? He has a… friend of sorts that can help. He has saved both Fizzy and Stolas before.”

“Anything, I’ll take anyone’s help. I just need to find her!” Lucifer panicked.

“Ok ok! Try to stay calm Lucifer, we will find her. Try to find a place to land for now. I don’t want you flying while you are panicking.”

Lucifer nodded and landed on a nearby building roof while Ozzie got Stolas on the call.

“Well hello Asmodeous! A pleasure to hear from you, and… my stars, is that Lucifer?” Stolas asked.

“It is, he has a bit of a problem, we are wondering if you can help connect us with the person that saved you and Fizzy, that… Blitzø? Lucifer’s girlfriend has gone missing.” Ozzie said.

“Oh my! Has she been taken from you, my dear King? I would be happy to connect you with my Blitzy, him and his friends are very good at finding and saving people,” Stolas said with pride in his voice.

“Yes! Please! I need someone to find her!” Lucifer said, pulling at his hair. How many more people would he need to get on the phone before he could find someone that could help? As many as it took! He kept anxiously fidgeting with his necklace.

Stolas added Blitzø to the call, and Blitz chaotically picked up the phone ”What the fuck do you want Stolas? I’m in the middle of a meeting right now! Also video call, that’s bold of… whoa. Holy shit is that fucking Lucifer?” Lucifer awkwardly waved. “Whoaaa, Moxxie, Millie, Loonie, look it’s King Lucifer!” Lucifer watches as the faces of the other three squish into the video and wave, Lucifer gives another awkward wave back.

“Wait,” Blitz said “this isn’t some weird sex thing, is it Stolas?”

Stolas waved a hand, “No no no darling, this is a matter of the utmost importance. His majesty’s girlfriend has been kidnapped and I know you are just so talented at finding things, he needs your help.” Lucifer caught some flirty undertones in Stolas’ voice towards Blitz but he chose to ignore that.

Blitz blinked, “The King of Hell needs our help, this is fucking awesome! Alright, lay it on me, Luci, what’s the sitch?”

“And you uhh… trust this guys Stolas?” Lucifer added.

“With my very life,” Stolas said, putting a hand over his heart.

“Mine too!” Fizz called out from behind Ozzie.

Lucifer nodded and told Blitzø everything that had happened with you leaving to go get something, no response on phone calls or texts, and the reports from the woman.

“Wait… run that guy’s description past me again?” Blitz asked.

“Imp, short white hair, cowboy ish hat, yellow eyes, a kind of southern accent?” Lucifer said, “I didn’t see him but the woman at the shop did, she was tired up with rope.”

“Kinda like she had been lassoed?” Blitz said flatly.

“Ya!” Lucifer said.

“Fuck! Not that god damn prick again, why does he keep fucking kidnapping people?!” Blitzø said as he set down the phone and started to dig for tools.

Stolas gasped, “You don’t think it’s that Striker now, do you Blitz?”

“Oh I know it’s fucking Striker, he has such a signature style I can practically fucking smell it at this point,” Blitz added.

“Who is Striker?!” Lucifer asked.

“He is an Imp who is a sort of bounty hunter of sorts, he kidnapped Fizzy, Blitz, and Stolas before. He almost kicked Stolas before!” Ozzie added.

Killed? “Wait… does that mean he…” Lucifer said.

“Has access to angelic steel? You bet your fucking ass he does, and I have a fucking score to settle with him,” Blitz picks the phone back up, “but that also means I know exactly where he is. The Wrath Ring.”

“What? But… mortal souls don’t leave the Pride ring?” Lucifer added.

“That wouldn’t stop him from finding a way to smuggle her into the ring, also you would be less likely to suspect him there with a mortal soul. Trust me your majesty, I have this covered. Anything else you need me to know?” Blitz asked.

Lucifer sniffles, “No, just bring her back to me. Please.”

Blitz salutes Lucifer, “We will get her back sir” Blitz puts on some sunglasses, “Alright, bitches. Saddle up, we are heading to Wrath!” Then Blitz hung up on his end.

Lucifer took a deep breath and sighed, he was so worried about you. Worried that this “Striker” guys was going to harm you. Was it to get to him? Or something else?

“It’s gonna be ok Luci,” Ozzie said.

“Yes, and is there anything else we could possibly do to support you, Lucifer?” Stolas added.

“I… I don’t know… I wanna go back home but I don’t wanna be alone right now. I’m so scared for her. If I knew where she was I could take care of it myself… but tracking is not one of my strong suits…” Lucifer said.

“They have a hellhound on their team, she is good, she found my daughter when she got lost on Earth one time. They will find her, Lucifer,” Stolas said.

“How about you come over and hang with me and Fizz, Lucifer. Stolas can come too if you want that,” Ozzie offered.

Lucifer nodded, “Be there in a sec.” Then he hung up. Lucifer opened a portal and stepped into the lobby of Ozzie’s residence, and a second later, Stolas opened his own portal and stepped in, right as Ozzie rounded the corner with Fizz. Ozzie sighs and puts a hand on Lucifer’s shoulder.

“I’m just so worried about her, especially if he has access to angelic steel… oh… my darling girl…” Lucifer started to cry. Ozzie and Stolas looked at each other, Stolas was thinking back to his own encounter with Striker, but he was not going to share that with Lucifer now, it would only worry him.

“Nothing we can do now besides wait Lucifer, I’m sure once they find (y/n), Blitz will be calling us so that you can swoop down there and take them out yourself,” Stolas said.

“Until then, come join Fizzy and I for food, we just finished making lunch,” Ozzie said leading them further into their home. Lucifer had still recently eaten and was not feeling like more, but he was willing to be with them while he waited for the results of the search. Fizzaroli chanted “Burger time, Burger time,” as they walked to the kitchen, which at least got Lucifer to crack a small smile. But seeing Ozzie with Fizz and Stolas talk about Blitz made him feel your absence even more. He held onto the necklace that matched yours, and thought, ‘We will find you, Sweetheart, I promise.’

———————————————————————————————————————

Your eyes opened as you came back to consciousness, the only thing you could see was the white glow of the rope around you, and two bright yellow eyes, that were looking at you from several feet away.

“Aww, so the King’s pet is now awake. Welcome back to the land of the dead… for now,” the man said and chuckled.

“Who are you? What do you want from me?” You asked.

The eyes squinted and moved up and then slowly towards you, “Name’s Striker, not that it will matter soon. and I’m here to torture you, maybe kill you.” He gave an evil chuckle, and as he grew closer, you saw another light start to shine silver about a foot below his eyes, in the shape of a blade. You froze, remembering that he had angelic steel on him. One wrong move and you would be dead for a second time, no Lucifer, no hotel.

You swallowed hard, “I’ll do anything you ask, just tell me what you want.”

He continued to walk towards you and held the angelic blade to your chin and lifted it up, you could now see a little more of his face, and it was the same man who tied you up.

“Smart girl,” he growled, “But I didn’t drag you here because I needed something from you, although using you to get to that royal family would be pretty nice. But I know I can’t take him on. No… I’ve been hired to kill you my wanna-be royal.”

You scowled, “I am not a wanna-be royal, I love Lucifer despite him being the King, and I care about what Charlie is doing despite her being the Princess!”

Striker flicked the blade across your check and you gasped as you started to feel blood drip down your face. “Pitiful that you would believe your own lies, anyone that chases a blue blood is always wanting what they have. Even if you do care, there is something someone wants out of it. And the people that want you dead, don’t like that some sinner got to be by his side. What makes you so special that he chose you above anyone else?”

You breathed heavily, “There… there are other sinners that want me dead because I’m with Lucifer?” This comment earned you another flick of his blade, this time on your arm, then he kicked you over in the chair you were in and glared over you.

“More than just sinners, baby cakes,” he glared down at you. “I’m personally a fan of all the royals and their mates being dead. They treat us like scum!”

“No! Please! Striker I don’t want anyone to feel that way! Let me talk to Lucifer and we can try to fix things!”

This response ended with the knife plunged into your thigh, and you let out a scream.

“Oh see! Now that you are at the end of my knife, you are willing to reform things. Well it ain’t gonna work this time! I’m not listening to blue bloods, or their lying simps!” Striker yelled.

Tears started to stream down your face. All you could think about was Lucifer, how scared he probably was, and how he was going to find you in this cave, dead. You dare not make any more comments, hoping that maybe your silence will buy you more time for… something, anything. You didn’t know if anyone was going to save you from this, but you wanted to hope.

Striker continued to walk around in the darkness for a while, leaving cuts or jabs into your body with his knife, leaving you screaming as he tormented you. You secretly hoped your screams would tell someone, anyone, that you needed help, but who in Hell would come save you other than Lucifer and the hotel crew? How would they know where to find you.

A while later, you heard something that sounded like a motor and a light, showing more of the area round you, and showing that you were in a cave of some sort. Striker was distracted by the car as it came closer until it came to a screeching halt as three imps and a hellhound jumped out.

“There you are you fucking psycho! Nice job finding a different creepy ass mine shaft in Wrath, how many of these places are there!” The tallest of the imps called out.

“Blitz?! What the hell are you doing here?!” Striker asked as he moved into a more aggressive stance, pulling out a gun.

“Ahh, well you see, you pissed off the King of Hell and uhhh… he has contacts. And unfortunately for you, you are so fucking bad at your job that you practically leave a calling card at this point! An imp with yellow eyes, a cowboy hat, and a southern accent that loves kidnapping royals or there bitches? That just screams “Striker” pal.” Blitz started pulling out his phone as he talked.

“What are you doing?” Striker said.

Stolas picked up the phone, Blitz smiled and just said, “Oh nothing, just tell my friend where we finally found you sick fucks with King Lucifer’s girlfriend, at the middle part of the eastern mineshaft in Wrath by the way, so that he can come take care of you.”

A moment later, a red portal opened up above you all and Lucifer flew out, all six wings flapping furiously, full demon mode out on display. Lucifer saw you, and then locked his eyes on Striker and dove at him. Striker was able to narrowly miss Lucifer’s first lunge, but not the second as Lucifer swung back around and grabbed Striker, taking him to the ground and knocking the weapons out of Strikers hands, and holding him down.

“WĦÄȚ ŤĦĘ FŲĆĶ ÐÍÐ ŶØŰ ŤĦĨŅĶ ŶØŮ ŴĚŘÊ ÐØÏŃĞ ĶĪÐNĄPPÌÑĞ ĦĚŘ?” Lucifer roared at Striker below him. Striker was now shaking.

“Please! Ahh… My King… it was a job, a good paying one, I just take what I can get,” Striker stuttered beneath Lucifer, now fearing for his life.

“ŴĦØ ĦĨŘĘÐ ŶØŮ ȚØ ĶǏŁŁ HĘŘ?!” Lucifer roared again.

“Just this small group off pissed off sinners! Fan girls of some kind, I don’t know! They had crazy money to pay me!” Striker pleaded.

Lucifer was about to start swinging when he heard your voice.

“Lucifer, stop,” you pleaded in a pained whisper.

Lucifer turned to look at you, bloodied and beaten in a tipped over chair. Millie and Moxxie ran over to untie you and put on some basic bandages to cover open wounds.

“Būț ŵħŷ, mŷ løvę? Łøøķ ãț ħøŵ ħę ħåş ħůřț ŷøù?” Lucifer said calmer.

“Yes… but he says the imps suffer… and are treated poorly… worse than sinners… I want… to figure this out…” you slowly said through a rasp.

Striker’s eyes went wide, was this bitch for real? He looked up at Lucifer, who looked down at him. “Ïş țħâț țřüę?”, Lucifer asked down at Striker, who nodded. Lucifer then looked over at Blitz, Millie, and Moxxie, who also nodded.

Lucifer sighed, and referred back to his normal self while still holding Striker down, “Fine. I’m sorry you have all had that experience, I will work on seeing how we can do better with that. But if you come for me and my loved ones again, it’s gāmė øvęř for you pal, ok?” He said looking down at Striker. He nodded again. Lucifer got up and released him, and Striker slinked away.

Lucifer then ran over you and looked you over, cupping your face in his hand, “Baby… oh fuck…” He almost started you cry seeing all of your cuts. He started to heal you, and it sort of worked, but heeling does not work as well again wounds made with angelic steel.

“Sweetheart, it’s ok… I’m ok. I’m sorry I was so stupid,” you apologized.

Lucifer shook his head, “No… this isn’t your fault my love. There are some crazy people in hell and… I’m sorry. I should have known better.”

“Sounds like we just need to be more careful going out,” you added.

“Well… as touching as this love fest is, can we get the fuck out of here? One of your little portals would be killer for getting out of this shithole… ya know, if you don’t mind… your majesty,” Blitz said, realizing throughout the statement that he should probably talk to Lucifer with a little more respect. Lucifer lifted an eyebrow, but sighed and picked you up, and opened a portal back up to the Pride ring, not far from the hotel, and everyone went through, even Blitz’s car.

Lucifer and you then took your leave of the others and he flew you over the hospital, even though you insisted that you were ok. You were patched up and sent back home a few hours later. Once at home, Lucifer continues to fuss over you until you asked him to just lay by your side. Eventually he did lay down next to you and calm down a little, holding you close to him but being careful of your wounds. Every shift and groan made him look at you with fearful eyes still.

“Do you need anything? Do you need me to move?” He asked.

“Luci, it’s ok, it’s gotta hurt for a bit but I’ll live, I promise,” you stroked his hair, “What would help the most is if you don’t panic with every move I make. I promise if I need something I will tell you?”

“Ok…I just don’t understand how you can be so calm after all of that,” Lucifer said setting his head down of the pillow and looking at you.

“I’m not calm… but I’m not scared either… I’m home save in your arms. I know I’m safe with you,” you said.

“I’m the reason you got hurt,” he said sadly.

“No. You are not responsible for what sinners do or how imps act. I left myself in the open. Shit happens. I just know that I need to protect myself more in the future. Ok?” You said, moving a hand to cup his check.

He nodded, and he snuggled in close to you as you both drifted to sleep after a long, chaotic day.

#hazbin hotel #lucifer morningstar #hazbin hotel lucifer #lucifer hazbin hotel #lucifer #lucifer magne #fanfic #fanfic writing #lucifer x reader #fanfiction #angst with a happy ending #angst #hurt/comfort #asmodeous #stolas #blitzø #hellaverse #punching pentagrams

[justmeinadaze]

I Have Nothing (If I Don't Have You) Part 5 (Steddie X You)

A/N: I bare you a gift :)

Warning: Security Guards/ Soft Dom Steddie X Singer Sub (slightly bratty) Fem Reader, SMUT, spanking, slightly rough, pretty much just the norm :), FLUFF and ANGST! Reader is trying to do better with her vices but gets so overwhelmed she disappears abruptly and the boys need to find her, the three of them do go into details with their trauma especially the reader. My own personal trauma (like with most of my fics) leaked through a bit i.e. feeling like I'm not enough. I think that's about it.

Word count: 6862

“How are you feeling today, Y/N?”

“Annoyed.”

“Because…”

“Because I want a fucking drink. I should at least be able to have that! Do you know how hard it is for me to not have BOTH the things that made me feel better when I was fucking depressed.”

You had been on the tour now for two weeks and you were exhausted. You love singing for your fans, you really did, but after your breakup and cutting out your vices…you felt like you were drowning. Talking to Daniel helped a bit but he was getting to that part of therapy where you needed (his words, not yours) to talk about the personal things in your past that led you to drink and drugs. 

You just couldn’t get there. It was like you kept running into a wall, the wall that you built to protect yourself. Even when you tried to open your mouth to talk about your family or relationships, nothing came out. Your brain froze like mental stage fright and it just made you angry. 

“No, I understand, Y/N. Trust me. I’ve been where you are before. I know it’s hard.” You scoff at his response as you fold your arms across your chest. “What you don’t seem to realize is those things, drugs and alcohol… didn’t actually make you feel better. You need to find something that does and focus your energy there.”

***

“Y/N! Jesus Christ, stop! Everyone stop! What the fuck is going on!?”, Mark shouts at you as he comes out on to the stage.

“I’m fucking tired! Can we take a goddamn break?”

“Not until we get this right! Your show is in two days!”

“Get off my back, Mark! I’m doing my best!”

It took all of Eddie’s energy to not get up and defend you. To an outsider looking in, they would think you were being a brat but this asshole was pushing you and they both knew that. Unfortunately, there was nothing they could do. They were your security and their job was to protect you. Mark wasn’t physically hurting you…all they could do was grit their teeth and watch as you slowly fell apart. 

“Fuck this! I’m taking a 10. If you have a problem with it, call Jack.” The boys quickly got up to follow you as you headed outside and sat on the emergency stairs just near the back door.  “Fuck off.”, you growled when you heard Steve sigh. 

“You’re right, you know. You need a break.”

Their eyes scanned you over as your leg jumped anxiously. “Y/N, everything is going to be ok.” Eddie was trying to comfort you and you understood that but it wasn’t enough. You were spiraling. “Sweetheart, look at me.” He commanded as he descended to his knees in front of you. “I promise you. You’re safe, okay?”

“Eddie…I’m so tired.”

“I know, baby.”, he whispers.

Steve comes to sit beside you, pulling you closer to his side as you fold into yourself and begin to cry. 

***

The following morning when you aren’t in bed, they assumed Mark pulled you away again without notifying them but as they hurry down to the auditorium, they notice the man pacing back and forth. 

“Where is she?!”, he shouts when he notices them.

“She’s not here?”, Steve asks and Eddie immediately turns way to check his phone for your tracker. 

“No! No, she’s not here! I’m fucking sick and tired of her diva attitude. Fuck her!”

“HEY! She’s the reason you have this job. Now show some fucking respect!” Steve shouts before turning to his friend. “Did you find her?”

“I think this might be broken, Harrington. It says she’s in the Atlantic.”

“Fuck me. She got on a plane. Come on.” The man tugs his arm as they run to the hotel room to hastily grab their things. As they pack, he dials your publicist’s phone number. “Sarah! Y/Ns on a plane right now. We think she’s headed to Europe. Do you know where she might go over there?”

“Fucking hell! I thought she was doing better.”

“She was…is…she’s burned out. She… she wasn’t ready for this tour.”

“That doesn’t surprise me. Jack and them are always pushing her. Um…she used to talk a lot about this hotel in France. Her and her family stayed over there once when she was little.”

“My family went on vacation there when I was a kid. It was the happiest I remember us ever being. I go there sometimes when I want to be left alone. I feel safe there.”

“I know where she’s going. Thanks Sarah. I’ll keep you posted.”

###########

“I swear, sir. There is no one by that name here.”, the concierge at the front desk sighs as Steve glances towards the metalhead again.

Eddie flashes him his phone. “It says she’s here. I’m surprised she hasn’t ditched it like she did in Vegas.”

The other man’s eyes widen as a sudden thought hits him. “That’s because she wants us to find her. Um, excuse me. Is there anyone by the name of Munson or Harrington listed?”

“Actually, yes. First name Munson, last name Harrington checked into her room yesterday evening. “

***

They quietly opened the door with the key front desk gave them as Steve scanned the room. Nothing seemed out of place except for the bottles of wine and vodka spaced out on the coffee table in the tiny hotel room. This wasn’t like the usual places you stayed in. 

It was much smaller with only one bedroom and living room that doubled as a kitchen. The back balcony doors were open wide and Eddie noticed a figure sitting on one of the chairs outside. They cautiously headed that way, finding you with your knees under your chin as you smoked a cigarette. Your eyes were bloodshot from tears and lack of sleep. Your hair that was usually styled in some way was haphazardly slung into a messy style bun as loose strands fell against your bare shoulders. 

It was relatively warm but there was a cool breeze that allowed you to be outside with your spaghetti strap shirt and pajama pants without feeling uncomfortable. 

You made no movement to acknowledge them as they placed themselves in front of you, leaning against the concrete wall of the patio. Eddie casually lit his own cigarette, offering Steve one who declined. 

“My parents were so excited…when we were able to afford a vacation out of the country.”, you stated in a gravelly, rough voice that tugged at their hearts as you continued to stare down at their feet. “My mom always wanted to go to Paris. ‘It’s the city of love!’.”, you smile as you mimic her enthusiasm. 

“My dad got us the tickets and I remember seeing the city as we flew over…I thought it was magic.”, you giggle but a tear fell down your cheek. “We went everywhere. I mean we literally saw every touristy thing you could think of. But…what I remember most is…that first night, we stayed in this hotel. My dad ordered us food and we all curled up in the bed to watch some black and white French romance film. A song started to play and I recognized it so I started to sing along but in English.”

“My father smiled and yanked my mother off the bed so they could dance as I sang. I knew then…that’s what I wanted to do with my life. I wanted to sing and make people happy like that. I think that was the one and only time they approved of my wanted profession.” Your eyes shifted towards theirs as you tried to smile. “I’m sorry. I-I-I…”

Steve shook his head and bent down to take you into his arms which you eagerly accepted, wrapping your own around his neck and legs around his waist as he carried you back inside with Eddie close behind. He sat on the couch, petting your head as they allowed you to cry. 

The metalhead inspected the unopened bottles of liquor before quietly looking around the little hotel room for any more of your vices, signaling to Steve that he found nothing. After awhile the tears stopped but you didn’t want to let him go. He felt your fingers run through his hair behind his head absently as you nuzzled your nose into his neck. 

“It’s ok, baby girl. You’re safe. It’s alright.”, he cooed. “Do you think you can move to Eddie’s lap so I can make some phone calls. Let people know you’re safe.” Your head hung as you pulled back and climbed over to the other boy as you pouted. “Hey…you trust me, right?”

“They’re going to be so angry with me.”, you whispered in a small voice. 

Steve placed his fingers under your chin and lifted your eyes to face him. “Do you trust me?”

“With my life.”

They both smile at your answer as he rises from the sofa. Leaning your forehead into the nook of Eddie’s neck and shoulder, you gently run your palm along his chest. It wasn’t sexual and he understood that. Any other person may think you were trying to flirt or making a move but he knew. This was your way of grounding yourself; making sure they were still there in the moment with you. 

You had fallen into a little girl mind set but it wasn’t for pleasure. It was self-preservation. They knew how to identify which was which and were happy to take care of you in either instance. 

“Eddie?”

“Hm?”

“Are you mad at me?”

“No, sweetheart. I’m not mad at you. I’m worried about you; we both are.”

Your gaze shifts to Steve who was now pacing in the bedroom with the phone to his ear. 

“Yeah, we found her…No, Jack, she’s not alright. You guys are pushing her too hard. She’s exhausted… First off, don’t cuss at me. We just spent all night trying to get to her and I’m not in the mood. This wouldn’t have happened if you and Mark would listen to her. She’s a person, not a cash machine… Fine. Fire us, but we’re still not going to drag her back. Not until some changes are made and she takes a break.”

“I’m not going to let him fire you.”, you murmur. 

“Hey, don’t worry about that right now, okay? Is it alright if I ask you some questions?” You nod as he holds you tighter to his body. “Why did you place all these bottles on the table?”

“I…I wanted some. I really did but I couldn’t. I took them out t-t-to see them. I needed to see all of them.”

“Why, sweetheart?”

“Because…I used to drink all this…in one night. I-I-I thought maybe if I saw it front of me, it would help…stop me. Daniel said I should focus my energy on something else so…when I look at the bottles, I think of something else.”

“What do you think about?”

“You two.”

His soft brown eyes met yours and he knew instantly you were telling the truth. 

“Hello, front desk? Yes, for the Munson Harrington room, can you make sure no one disturbs us besides faculty. We don’t want any phone calls or unexpected visitors…Yes, sir. If anyone other than myself or my friend Mr. Munson asks don’t tell anyone we are here…thank you.”

“He’s assuming if he won’t tell them where you are then they will start hunting for us and since our names are on the room, they could ask which one. This way now if they do, the front desk won’t give them anything.”, Eddie explains. “Baby, I see the bottles but I have to ask, have you hidden any drugs for later or anything like that?”

“No, sir. I promise. Do…do you need to look at my eyes?”

The fact that you were being so open with him was slightly jarring but, again, he understood. They made you feel safe and you wanted to continue making them feel like they could trust you as much as you trusted them. 

“No, sweetheart. I trust you. Would it be alright with you if I got up to move these bottles so you don’t have to keep looking at them?” You nod but as he adjusts you so he can stand you continue to cling to his shirt. “Alright, hey, it’s ok. Follow me.” 

He takes your hand and pulls you towards the bedroom, playfully twirling you into Steve’s side who silently grins as he dips you before tugging you back up with one arm. Eddie fades away into the background as you hold the other boy to you. 

“Ok, I think that’s everyone and Sarah said she would release a statement for you regarding the shows this week. She said if you need more time just let her know.”

“I like Sarah.”

“Me to.”, Steve grins down at you sweetly. “Have you eaten anything today?”

When you shake your head, he nods before lifting you into his arms, carrying you to the kitchen, and setting you down on the countertop. 

“You know, I’m looking through this cabinet like I can read any of the French here.” 

His tone makes you giggle as you point to a piece of paper beside him. 

“That’s the menu for the hotel. They have some really delicious French toast.”

“Yeah? Let’s try it.”

After you three ate, everyone crashed. When you arrived at the hotel, you had been so anxious you couldn’t lie still long enough to get any kind of sleep. The guys had immediately hopped a plane when they had an idea of where you were and were so concerned about your wellbeing, they hadn’t slept either. 

When you finally woke up, you felt so much better and less heavy with your worries. It was dark outside but the lights illuminated the city as people walked around the Paris streets. Both men were still knocked out beside you so you snuck into the living area with an idea as you began situating the space.

##########

“Eddie. Steve.”, you whispered as you gently shook their arms.

“Huh? Wha? What’s wrong, honey?”

“Nothing’s wrong. I just wanted to show you something. I also ordered some lunch/dinner for us since it is a little after nine.”

Your breathy chuckle and calmer tone cause them to open their eyes fully as they drink you. Physically you did look a lot better. You had changed into a new set of pajamas and your hair was now down around your shoulders. Your energy as a whole seemed much less erratic than when they had first walked in and that made them both extremely happy. 

They rolled out of bed, reaching for some sweats to be more comfortable before following you out of the room. Their mouths fell open at the sight in front of them as you opened your arms in a grand gesture. You had taken some of the couch cushions and pillows, creating a makeshift fort with extra sheets thrown over to finish the design. The little tv the hotel room came with was pushed in front of it with food and drinks on the nearby table. 

“Y/N, what--”

“I thought it might be fun. The guide on the tv says their also about to play a movie I really like.” You shift your weight from one foot to the other as you look towards the floor. “I wanted to do something for you…to say thank you for coming all this way. It’s not enough, I know, for all the trouble I caused but…it’s all I could think of in the moment…especially since this means a lot to me…like you two and what you just did for me.”

Steve’s hand reached out and brought your lips to his, letting you go so Eddie could do the same. 

“What’s the movie called?”

“Amélie. I love it. It’s about a woman who tries to help people find their happiness while also finding love.” You grin like giddy schoolgirl making them smile with you. 

You three devour the food concierge brought up as the movie played. They were completely entranced by it and occasionally mimicked the young actresses French as they tried remembering words for later. For a couple of hours, you forgot you were a famous singer and they were your security. You forgot that just a few hours ago you were falling apart and one bad decision away from opening the wine in the hotel. 

For a couple of hours, you were a tourist in a hotel room with two men you really cared about and seemed to genuinely care about you. 

“That was amazing. How have I never heard of this movie before?”

“Because you have never heard of most movies, Steven.”, Eddie laughs. His eyes shift over your frame essentially checking in and reading your body language. “May I ask you something, sweetheart? What was the song you sang when your parents danced?”

You softly smile as you get to your feet and run in the bedroom to get your phone. Ella Fitzgerald’s beautiful, soulful voice flows through your speakers as you place it on the couch and reach for Eddie’s hand. 

“Let's fall in love Why shouldn't we fall in love? Our hearts are made of it Let's take a chance Why be afraid of it?”

Placing your palms on his bare shoulders, you both danced to the music. 

“My mother loved music like this. She actually wasn’t a big fan of TV so anytime my father was out she would turn it off and play her records.”, you giggled. “God, and Ella always had the most gorgeous voice.”

“She really does. I feel like I should be wearing a shirt.” He smiles when you laugh harder, pulling him closer to you as you rest your chin near his head. 

“I remember once she played her album while she was cooking, waiting for my dad to come home while I sat on the counter and watched her move. She was swaying while she was singing and I thought she looked so beautiful… then she turned around with this big smile and said ‘Now see, that woman is a singer. You’ll never be as good as her I’m afraid, baby.’”

You heard Steve rise from the floor and you detached from Eddie to dance with him.

“Let's close our eyes And make our own paradise Little we know of it Still we can try to make a go of it.”

“It wasn’t just with music…that was just my biggest disappointment to them. When I was growing up, I was too fat or too thin, not dressed right, or I didn’t speak properly. They always acted like I embarrassed them. The first time I was arrested was actually when I was 16. I got caught at a party drinking with bunch of other kids. My dad hit me and said I was stupid. That I may as well become a whore because there was no way I was getting into college now. I didn’t have the heart to tell him I never wanted to go anyway.”, you chuckled but Steve just held you closer to his chest.

“We might have been meant for each other To be or not to be, let our hearts discover.” 

“I can’t do this. It’s too hard.”, you whisper as you push away from him and try to head for the bedroom. 

“Hey, hey, hey.” Eddie quickly grips your wrist. “Don’t run from it, Y/N. You’re doing really good. Just…let go.”

“Let me go, Ed.”

“Fuck them.” Your head turned to look at Steve. “Y/N, fuck them. If they can’t see how amazing and talented you are then fuck them.”

“You…you don’t understand.”

“Oh? Not being good enough for your parents. Your right I would have no idea what that’s like. My dad still calls me 24/7 commanding I come home to give up this ‘childish job’ and run is obnoxiously boring and bland as fuck company. When I was in high school, he always wanted me to be MVP and a straight A student but freshman year when I figured out that didn’t matter I just coasted by. Little did I know that would just make him worse. After I graduated, I said fuck them. I’ll do what makes me happy. My dad still thinks he can change my mind but…”, Steve shrugs. 

“I wasn’t good enough for my father either. So much so he left me with my uncle and ended up in jail. Supposedly, he complains about me in there. I’m a ‘pansy fucking pig’ now or some bullshit. I’ve explained a thousand times I’m not a cop but it doesn’t matter.”

“You still talk to him?”

“Sometimes…”, Eddie sighs. “Not as much as I used to.”

“Where’s your mom?”

The metalhead crosses his arms over his chest as he shifts his gaze to the floor. “She, uh, she died a long time ago.”

“What about you?”, you ask as you focus your line of questioning on Steve again. 

“My mom follows my dad around like a puppy. Honestly, I think she’s afraid of not having the money and lifestyle he provides her.”

You exhale heavily as you sit on the couch, fidgeting with your fingers. “The, um, the first time I drank excessively was after I was signed to my first label. I called my family and I told them thinking maybe this would prove to them I am good enough to make it. One of the many times I would think that while moving up in my career.” You roll your eyes before continuing. “My dad said ‘Wow. Amazing. Hey, did you hear that they renewed that show your mom and I like for a new season? Pretty cool.’”

Eddie and Steve came to sit on either side of you as they listened to you speak. When you froze, they tried to urge you to continue. 

“What about the drugs? When did that start?”

“Simon.”, you chuckle under your breath. “Three years ago…my mom and I got into a fight because I invited her to come visit me for the billionth time and they both came up with some excuse. I was drinking but it wasn’t enough so…” Your eyes met Steve’s before turning to find Eddie’s. “You both are actually the first people to walk into my life and not use me or be toxic.”

“Give us time. I’m sure we can be toxic if we tried.”

“Munson, oh my god. Shut up.” Steve reached over to playfully swat at his friend making you laugh. 

“Why aren’t you guys taken? Do you get into bad relationships to?”

“Yes and no. Stevie here has gotten the bulk of bad relationships.”

His eyes met yours as he softly smiled down at you, throwing his hands up in slight surprise when you crawl into his lap.

“I’m sorry, Steve.”

The man heavily sighs as his palm reaches up to pet your head. “It’s alright. I mean, it is what it is.”

“I haven’t…been with anyone…since what happened with Simon. I wouldn’t hurt you both like that. I…I really like you. I like the way…I feel with you.���

“And how is that?”, Eddie asked with a gentle tone.

“Safe. Protected. Cared for.”

“We do care about you. Very much.”, Steve cooed as he kissed your forehead. 

“Can you show me? Show me how much you care about me.”

“Are you sure you’re up for that? You’ve been through a lot these past few days.”

You nod vigorously as your lips land on his neck, tenderly kissing along the skin of his throat. 

“Hey, hey…” Lightly tugging on your hair, he pulls you back to look at him as his voice changes to a more authoritative one. “What’s the rule? When we ask you something…”

“I verbally answer. I’m sorry, Steve. Yes, yes, I’m up for anything as long as I’m with you two.”

He flashes you a comforting smile before shifting your body till your legs were straddling either side of his and your back was to his chest. 

“Good girl, baby. Lean back and get comfortable.”

You do as he suggests, placing a kiss on his cheek before resting your forehead against it. His palms roam you along your arms to your knees and back up between your thighs. 

“You’re so beautiful, honey. Isn’t she beautiful, Ed?”

“Gorgeous.” The hand closest to him reaches out to caress his face as he turns into your touch and kisses your hand. 

Steve’s fingers grip the bottom of your shirt as he lifts it over your head and tosses it aside. The feeling of him rubbing his strong, palms along your tummy and just under your breasts sets you ablaze. You could sit like this forever and be happy. Eddie scoots closer and you lightly moan when you feel his lips kiss your shoulder, down to your tits. 

Your legs start to close to relieve the pressure building in your core but they are both faster, each hand keeping you open as the metalhead wraps his mouth around your nipple. Throwing your head back, Steve’s lips meet your own as his tongue dances with yours. Feeling him shift slightly, you gasp out a groan when his hand massages your other breast, his fingers gliding over the erect bud as Eddie’s tongue plays with the one on his side. 

“Fuck…”

“Does that feel good?”

Your nose grazes his as you nod. “Yes. Fe-feels really good.”

“Is that why your grinding your hips?”, he chuckles.

“Can I take off my shorts, please?”

Eddie’s mouth released its grip on you with a satisfying pop as he trailed up your body to the side of your neck. 

“Oh, Steve. She said please. How can we say no when she’s being so polite?” Hooking his digits into the waistband of your pants and panties, you lift your hips, allowing him more mobility to pull them down your legs. 

His head tilted to look at you as he reached between your thighs to spread open your pussy lips.

“Jesus. Pretty girl is so wet already.”

As soon as the pads of his fingers graze your clit, you know you aren’t going to last long. 

“Please…”

“Please what, princess?”

“Touch me.”

“I am touching you.” Your eyebrows furrow in frustration at his answer and Eddie promptly grabs your cheeks, turning you to face him. “No attitude. No whining. If you can’t tell me…why don’t you show me what you want.”

As if to help you, Steve grabs your wrist and places your hand where his friend’s had just been. Sliding your fingers through your slick, you push two into your sex, leaning back again as you moan. It’s not enough, not even close. You need their long, thick fingers to reach the places you can’t. Your eyes meet the metalhead’s as you silently plead for him to get the message. 

“Need something?”

“You. I need your fingers inside of me. Please.”

Placing his lips gently on your own, he takes over what you are doing and effortlessly glides his digits into you. Eddie thrusts into you at a quick, brutal pace as your arm wraps around Steve’s neck to cling to his hair. 

“You have to be open with us, Y/N. Always. We can’t automatically know what you want.”

“I-I figured—fuck—I thought you would…know what I need. Wh-what’s best for me?”

Your surprised when you hear them both chuckle.

“That’s a whole different level of trust, sweetheart. I don’t know if we’re there yet.”

“I’m sorry.” His rhythm slowed then as he scanned you over. “That…that I haven’t given you enough of a reason to trust me yet. I’ll do better. I promise.”

“Baby…” Your heart broken little girl voice was tearing them apart. Steve kissed your temple as Eddie used his free hand to brush some of your hair back. “I’m sorry. That’s not what I meant. We do trust you. You’ve gotten so much better at proving that to us since we met you.”

“What he means is, he doesn’t think you’re ready to let go and trust us like that.”

“But—”

“Sweetheart, it’s not a bad thing or anything you should be ashamed of. We just…after everything you’ve been through with people commanding you around and hurting you…”

“I wouldn’t have asked you here, if I didn’t feel comfortable letting go and trusting you.”

“To be fair, you didn’t ask. You led and we followed.”

Gripping Eddie’s wrist, you moved his hand from between your legs and climbed onto his lap, cupping his cheeks forcefully in your hands. 

“Tonight, I’m letting go. I told you to show me how much you care about me. No reservations, no holding back.” When they glanced at each other, you roughly moved his face to focus back on you. “I said…show me.” His chocolate eyes glare into your confident ones before you’re abruptly lifted from behind and carried to the bedroom. 

You were so entranced by the other boy that you didn’t even notice Steve stand until he took hold of you. After throwing you on to the mattress, you watch as they quickly get undressed, and kick their clothes aside. Without saying a word, Steve dropped to his knees, grabbed your thighs, and yanked you to the end of the bed. 

Closing your eyes, a moan left your throat as he practically shoved his face into your cunt and his tongue began devouring you. You felt a dip beside you and turned to find Eddie holding his cock as he brought the end to your lips. 

“Open.”, he commanded. As soon as your mouth parted just enough, he pushed himself between them, lacing his fingers into your hair as he began to thrust his hips slowly. “That’s it, princess. Flat tongue, open throat. Fuck… we can do the rest.”

The metalhead grunted as you whimpered around him as his friend built you up. As your thighs tried to close, his firm hands pressed them flat as his mouth wrapped around your clit. Your eyes squeezed tighter together as you mewled and hollowed out your cheeks. Drool and spit were leaking from both corners of your mouth as both men held you still.

Eddie suddenly pulled back, leaning down till his forehead was against yours as his grip on your hair tightened. 

“Cum, baby. Cum all over Steve’s face. It’s ok if it’s messy. We like it that way.” Your hand clung to his wrist as you panted against his lips, moaning as the coil snapped, and your legs shook in the other man’s grasp. “Good girl, sweetheart. Good girl.”

Steve rose to his feet lifting you again, bringing you further up the mattress, and man handling you onto your stomach. Spreading your legs a bit wider and lifting your lower half, you groaned when you felt him spit directly into your pussy before guiding his cock into your entrance. Falling flat against you, he rolls his hips, allowing you to adjust to the feeling of him as your eyes roll.

“F-fuck yes. Yes, Steve. P-please.”, you beg as he tenderly traces kisses along your shoulder. 

“Why are you begging, honey? I thought—fuck—I thought you wanted us to take control? For us to show you we know what’s best for you?”

“I-I-I do. I just… you feel so good. Please.”

“Shhhh. Shhhh. It’s ok, pretty girl. I got you, baby.” His palm slides around to grasp your throat as he grounded his hips harder into you. Your eyes widen, jaw going slack as he grunts loudly behind you and thrusts into a bit faster. “You feel so fucking good, Y/N. Your little pussy takes me so well. I’m gonna take care of you, ok? You…you remember what to say if I’m hurting you?”

You could barely form a coherent thought let alone answer his question. Ringed fingers moved some of your hair out of your face as Eddie’s breath warmed your ear. 

“Come on, princess. You can do it. What do you say if you feel uncomfortable or if we’re hurting you?”

“P-P-Paris.”

“Good girl.” You felt like you wanted to cry with happiness when they both praised you.

Steve leaned back on his knees and lifted his leg, placing his foot near your side. One of his hands held the meat of your ass as the other grabbed the back of your neck, pressing you into the mattress. At this angle, when he slammed his hips into yours, you swore you felt him reach your inside your stomach. Eddie’s hand reached for yours and you held on to it tightly as Steve punched his cock into you. 

Releasing his hold on you, the man placed his hand beside your head allowing you to crane your neck so you could look at him. 

“So…deep, Steve. Fuck.”

“Does my dick feel good, baby?”

“Y-Yes, Steve.”

“Cum, Y/N. Cum hard on my cock.” Pumping into you faster, you screamed into the sheets as you felt your walls clench around him and your vision was blinded by white. “Goddamn it! Come here. Come here, pretty girl.”

Pulling out, he grabbed your arm as he fell back against the bed, fisting himself with your slick as he guided your lips to his tip. “Open up, honey.” Without hesitation, you took over, bobbing your head as fast and deep as you could. Whimpering, his fingers aggressively threaded through your hair to hold you still as he thrust his warm spend down your throat. “Fuck…go-good girl. Take it all and swallow.”

As you softly trailed kisses up stomach to his chest, Eddie laid himself beside you two, shoulder to shoulder with his friend. You glanced his way and he offered you big, sexy grin in return. 

“No rush, sweetheart. Take your time.”

When your eyes met Steve’s again his head tilted in amusement when he realized what headspace you were in and what you were looking for. Cupping your cheeks in his hands, he brings your lips gently to his own.

“You want to fuck Eddie, baby girl?” When you nod, his thumb caresses your bottom lip. “Ok. Why don’t you ask him if that’s ok.”

“Eddie…can I fuck you, please?”

Your needy, little voice had the metalhead licking his lips as he motioned for you with his fingers. “Yeah, beautiful. Come here.” Placing you on his lap, you straddle his waist as your hands reach out to hold his shoulders while he grips the base of his cock. Lifting your hips, you gradually descend on to him, both of you moaning at the feel of him stretching your walls. Your sweaty forehead falls against his as you begin to grind. 

“That’s it, sweetheart. God, you’re so gorgeous especially—mmm—especially riding my dick. Really ride it, babe. Take all of me.” His palms take hold of your sides as you lean back and do what he says. They both watch with glassy eyes as your tits bounce along with you. “Come on, Y/N. Harder!” You whimper with pleasure as he smacks your ass, trying to move as hard as you can. 

“E-Eddie. Please…help.”

“You need some help?” Taking your face in his hands, he brings you down to your chest is flush with his as presses your face into the pillow behind him. “Of course you do, little one. You know why? Only we know how to please you.”

His hips thrust up into yours hard and you immediately saw stars. Grunts and groans filled your ears as he set an aggressive pace. 

“Y-you’re doing so good, Y/N. Fuck…your cunt is so fucking tight. It’s too good. Let go again, sweetheart. Let me make you cum.”

Eddie released you and you sat back as your own palms leaned against his chest while his hands forced you down to meet each pump of his hips. Steve reached over you both and rapidly rubbed against your clit as you moaned loudly. 

They watch as you come undone, trembling as you pant and fall forward with your mouth just above his. The metalhead’s lips passionately dance with yours as he continues thrusting into you until you feel him release inside of you. 

Everything is silent except for both of you trying to catch your breath. Eddie’s hands glide up your back as he holds on to you, carefully turning you two on to your side and slowly pulling himself out of your now aching hole. 

His breathy chuckle fills the room as he pets your head that is still pressed into his chest. 

“You didn’t die on me, did you?”

Feeling movement behind you, you quickly turned to grab Steve’s arm. “No! Don’t go.”, you plead.

“Hey. You said you trust me right?” You nod. “Good. Plus, this hotel room isn’t like the fucking mansions you usually stay in so…” He continues talking to you in a light tone as he heads for the kitchen to grab a bottle of water. “…you can see me walk from each room without a telescope.”

You smile as he jumps back into bed, opens the cap, and hands it to you. After glugging back half of it, you hand him back the bottle who in turn hands it to his friend. 

“You always put him first.” Steve’s head shot up to look at you. “I’m not saying it like it’s a flaw. It’s just something I noticed. You make sure everyone else’s needs are met first.”

He gazes out the window for a moment before softly smiling in your direction and taking you in his arms to carry you into the bathroom. Placing you on the sink, he spoke as he started making a bath. 

“Probably because I know what it feels like not to be taken care of. That’s probably also why we’re so good at this job. Remember, I told you my dad had this idea of who he wanted me to be? Well, he never even stuck around to make sure it happened. I spent most of my childhood alone or with friends.”

“I’m sorry, Steve.” Eddie comes up to your side and lifts you again, placing you in the warm water before they both follow after. “I like that you’re both loyal to each other. It’s one of the first things I noticed. Honestly, except for Sarah, I think everyone else is looking out for themselves.”

“Maybe…when you go home…you should change that.”, the metalhead sighs as he cleans you. “It’s been really hard for us watching Mark talk down to you the way he has.”

“And Jack.”, Steve adds. “It sucks because we can’t protect you like that.”

“Like what?”

“Y/N, if you worked for us we would have fired all these people already. As soon as Mark raised his voice to demean you, we would have told him to fuck off. But we work for you. Technically, even he is above us.”

“I’m learning. It’s part of the reason I’ve been such a bitch. I panic when I feel out of control so I just ugh!”, you playfully growl to emphasis your point. 

“It’s called fight or flight, sweetheart.”, Eddie smirks. “You lean more towards the fight side like we do but sometimes…”

“What about you, Ed? Were you cared for as a kid?”

“By my mom, yeah. Then a few years later with my uncle after my dad went in.”

“May I ask what he did to get sent to jail?”

“No, you may not.” His tone was stern but not rough in any way. It was meant to be a warning. 

“Are you ready to get out, honey?”, Steve whispers. After you nod, he rises from the tub and helps you step onto the tile, wrapping you in a towel as he dries you off. 

“Have you two ever been out of the country?”

“My parents have so many times but not me.”

You glance at the metalhead who shakes his head as he shuffles the towel through his hair. The other boy leads you back into the bedroom and helps get you into some fresh pajamas. 

“Maybe, if we’re up for it, tomorrow I can show you guys around. Paris is a beautiful city.”

“That sounds like a good idea, baby. For right now though, are you hungry or anything?”

“No. Thank you for asking but I’m exhausted.”

Steve smiles as he watches you crawl under covers, letting you get comfortable before doing the same and pulling your back to his chest. Eddie lays in front of you and you pleasantly sigh as he touches your cheek. 

“I’m sorry for being short with you. I have some trouble talking about that period in my life.”

“I understand. Trust me. I get it better than anyone. Whenever you’re ready, sweetheart. I’ll be here.”

He chuckles as he watches your eyelids become heavier. “I don’t think you’ve called me anything like that before. Usually it’s just ‘Eddie’ or ‘Asshole’.”

You smirk as he leans down to kiss your forehead. 

“We’re here to, Y/N, and we aren’t going anywhere any time soon.” 

###############

@rckstrbee @melodymishahiddlestan @strangerfreak

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[lavenderfluorite14]

A Taste of Plums | Astarion x Female!Tav

Chapter 2: Gift

Summary: Tav gave Astarion a gift. Astarion tries to pay her back.

Chapter Rating: 18+, Blood drinking, Grinding, Frottage, Making Out, Hurt/Comfort, Angstarion, Astarion Character Study and everything that entails, PTSD, Descriptive Explorations of Emotional and Sexual Trauma Full tag list on AO3. Read on AO3. Chapter 1.

The morning dawned pink and rosy, the sun a bloody jewel in the sky. Tav would be waking up soon and Astarion was putting the finishing touches on his apology. He would be concerned, tender. He would be apologetic but not obsequious, and this would never happen again. Unless Tav wanted it to.

Would she want it to? She had certainly been willing, in the beginning at least. But how would she feel the morning after? Astarion wasn’t used to mornings after. And he had been…rougher with her than he had intended. Shame flooded through him when he remembered how he had lost himself in her like a wild beast. But she had felt so good. Astarion didn’t know if he had ever felt this good before.

He felt happy. That was the word, happy. He must have felt happy once, a lifetime ago. But dwelling on ghosts he could no longer remember and who hadn’t bothered to remember him never led anywhere.

He fully understood now why Cazador had deprived them of good blood. Seven full, strong vampire spawn could find a way to overpower a cruel master. But seven malnourished, pathetic slaves were too busy trying to survive the day to plot a coup. Astarion despised how Cazador could cloak his sadism in calculated logic. He could bash Cazador’s skull in.

Tav stumbled out of her tent, clearly still delirious. She had donned her leather jerkin as usual, but she had also conspicuously wound a strip of cloth around her throat and tucked it into her collar, wrapping her neck snugly in the fabric. Blearily, she scanned the camp until she saw him lounging by his tent. Astarion steeled himself.

“Good morning. How do you feel?” He said lowly, so the others wouldn’t hear.

“A bit woozy, but I’ll be ok,” she said sheepishly.

“It’ll pass,” he hoped.

“How do you feel?” Tav asked.

“I feel wonderful,” he preened. “And now you get to reap the benefits of a fully fed vampire.”

“This is true,” she said. “I’m looking forward to seeing you fight today.”

“I’ll have to put on a show for you. Now that I can fight with all my weapons.” He shot her a fanged grin. Tav laughed, a sound he realized that he was beginning to like.

“Good thing I have a front row seat, then,” she said. Tav began shifting uneasily from foot to foot. “Astarion. I know you’ve been hesitant to talk about yourself so far but we really should discuss this, ah, turn of events.” Astarion nodded stiffly. “I suppose I owe you an explanation or two."

He described the difference between a vampire and a vampire spawn and how you can become one. Tav stiffened at the implication: had he been a true vampire, last night could have gone a lot differently.

“But I thought that sunlight killed vampires?” She asked.

“Oh, it does. I should be cinders in this light. I shouldn’t be able to do a lot of things, honestly.” He went through the list: standing in the sun, entering homes uninvited, crossing running water. “As for any other quirks, well,” he chuckled, “we can figure those out in time.” He was looking forward to it. Maybe the tadpole had bestowed other latent powers.

“Well, if I can help, just ask. We are in this together.” Tav gave him a bright, warm, reassuring smile.

“Oh, you are such a sweetheart,” he deflected. Of course she would say something like that.

“Tav, what’s that around your neck?” Shadowheart called towards them. Tav’s hand flitted towards her neck instinctively, her eyes darting to Astarion. He didn’t move. He wanted to see what she would do.

“I’m just a little cold today so I found a scarf,” she said. She was covering for him. She was really covering for him. Astarion’s stomach dropped. Usually Tav was better at this.

“Tchk. We heard your carousing last night,” Lae’Zel spoke.

“Is that blood?” Wyll pointed towards the scarf, where a small patch of crimson was blooming across the fabric. Astarion licked his fangs.  

“Darlings, I’m afraid I have something rather small I’ve neglected to tell you.”

“Astarion,” Tav turned towards him but he anchored his hand on the small of her back reassuringly. If he now had Tav's support then this was his best opportunity to tell them.

“It’s all right, my dear. They were going to find out eventually.” He squashed the doubt inside him into a hard little ball and cleared his throat. “I am a vampire,” Astarion announced. There was a brief moment where no one spoke.

“So be it. But if I wake with so much as a drop of blood at my throat, I will end you,” Lae’Zel growled. Duly noted.

“I trust him,” Tav interjected. “He won’t hurt us. He has had ample opportunity to do so and has instead become a strong ally.” The group paused again, sharing a glance among themselves. Gale broke the silence.

“Well, I’m disappointed that you didn’t tell me sooner. I’m a pretty open-minded man, actually. But just a word of warning, Astarion: I taste absolutely awful.” What a shame.

“Vamps don’t scare me. No sense judging someone for who they are.” Karlach piped up. “’Cept devils, obviously.” He knew he liked Karlach.

“So long as there are no innocents, I am fine.” Wyll said. “And so long as you keep your fangs to yourself.” Wyll would probably be too sweet, anyway.

“A vampire?” Shadowheart rolled her eyes. “I suppose I can live with that. We’re already monsters in the making, what’s one more. Now come here, Tav. We can’t have you leaving camp looking like that.” Shadowheart led Tav away, her healing magic already surrounding them in a soft blue glow.

But once Tav was out of earshot, the others closed ranks. “I meant it when I said no innocents, Astarion. And if you hurt Tav, you will have to answer to all of us.” Wyll said.

“Is the Blade of Frontiers already rushing to the damsel’s rescue?” Astarion scoffed. “I didn’t do anything to Tav that she didn’t sweetly ask for.”

“I don’t care what happens in your tent. But if you can’t control your bloodlust then I will control it for you,” Lae’Zel rasped, her words a heavy threat.

“Now that I no longer need to hide and we all have an understanding, we will have a perfect accord.” Astarion sniffed. “I am here in the spirit of teamwork and understanding-”

“You say all the right things Astarion, but I don’t think you mean the right things.” Gale accused. Astarion glared back, uncowed. “But either way, Tav trusts you and I will respect that decision. Just promise us there’s no more secrets.”

“I have already told you everything you need to know about me,” Astarion smiled thinly. Gale sighed disapprovingly. “Very well. I suppose I can live with that.” The group dispersed uneasily, leaving Astarion alone to finish donning his armor. Astarion released a shuddering sigh, relief flooding through him. That had gone much better than he had expected. But although they weren’t going to kill him, he had been right: his companions would never actually accept a vampire. And rightfully so, he thought bitterly.

~

Shadowheart had been able to close her wounds and heal her neck, but she hadn’t been able to cure Tav’s dizziness. Apparently she knew the perfect spell, but wasn’t strong enough to cast it yet. Of course.

Tav had been keeping up so far, but she wasn’t acting quite like herself. Before she had been quick with a joke and a laugh, but today she was lagging behind. She lacked her usual air of conviction when she spoke. Yet although his eye lingered on her worryingly, Astarion couldn’t bring himself to regret last night’s unexpected tryst.

She had been incredible. Delectable, even. He had known conceptually that such pleasure was possible, he’d imagined it often, but he had never physically experienced anything like that before. And now its source slept 20 feet away, snug in its own bedroll. Would she let him taste her again? Tav had been understanding and supportive of him so far, but one could never be sure.

The thought of never having Tav again made him feel cold. He could content himself with less, he had done so for centuries. He’d keep himself warm with the memory of her. And her support had theoretically opened up a veritable buffet of other dining options for him. Surely someone else would be just as delicious. He didn’t need Tav.

His eye lingered on her as they moved deeper into the Emerald Grove. Tav really was beautiful, in her own way. Cazador had demanded that they bring him only the beautiful and the strong to dine on. It was said that beauty and strength made the blood richer to the taste. Astarion could recall several times when Cazador had rejected his victims for whatever fickle reason he could concoct. He had still drained them of course, but Astarion had been punished hideously each time.

“Are your standards truly so low? You think this is beautiful, you think this is worthy of me ?”

He wouldn’t reject Tav, Astarion thought. Cazador would have been delighted if Astarion had brought her home. His gut squirmed.

The druids were awful, tedious creatures. These petty squabbles had nothing to do with him and Astarion didn’t see the point in sticking his neck out for Tieflings who would be dead in a week anyway. Especially now that he could choose whether he stuck his neck out or not. But Tav cared. So they were off to find this Halsin character. Astarion rolled his eyes.

Tav needed to rest earlier than usual today. While they were resting, Astarion wandered down to the small, sandy coastline bordering the grove and plopped down onto a rock, slouching gracefully. He just needed a quiet moment to himself. But something clinked when he sat down. Astarion craned his neck to investigate and caught a flash of gold hidden beneath the rock. Carefully, he slipped his hand underneath the rock, fishing for the trinket. He extracted it delicately, holding it up to the light. It was an amulet, carved in the Oakfather’s likeness. As Astarion turned it over, he realized that it had been imbued with a spell, Lesser Restoration, which would cure the wearer from disease, poison, paralysis, or blindness. Astarion swiftly pocketed the treasure, hoping that no one had seen him. Finders keepers.

~

He returned to find his companions laughing. Wyll was in the middle of regaling them with some heroic exploit of his while Tav spasmed with laughter, her body curling in on itself. Karlach, who Astarion noticed was wearing new leather armor, egged him on. No doubt the armor had been bought by Tav with the gold they had all scavenged, which seemed unfair. Why should Karlach get fine new leathers while he was dressed in rags? He had mended his doublet countless times over the years, but it was still falling apart at the seams. They probably couldn’t tell, he thought bitterly. Astarion had taken enormous pains to hide his threadbare appearance and would be mortified if anyone saw through his embroidered facade, but it still stung that no one did. “Get over here, Fangs!” Karlach called. “You’ve GOT to hear this. Wyll, tell it again.”

“So there I was, surrounded on all sides-“ It was surprisingly a pretty funny story. Wyll had lived a full, interesting life in such a short amount of time. His ragged scars only accentuated his dashing charm and handsome face. Somehow Wyll could make a stone eye twinkle with warmth and sincerity. Despite his own alleged beauty, Astarion knew he could never compete with that. And Tav looked at him with such open fondness and admiration. He ran his thumb over the amulet in his pocket, soothed by the sharp edges.

When Wyll finished his tale, obviously victorious, Astarion said “Yes, well. I’m glad our Blade could sharpen himself on such a useful whetstone.” His words were nice enough, but his tone was sour and ambiguous. Wyll gave him a slight nod, as if he didn’t know what to make of Astarion’s almost compliment.

“Alright everyone, let’s keep moving. We can keep swapping stories while we walk.” Wonderful. He could regale them with all the inventive ways Cazador had enjoyed hurting him over the years.

~

Tav retired early that night. They had defeated the false paladins, but only just. Astarion had been at the top of his game: his movements were more graceful, his thrusts stronger and more precise. But Tav had fought badly. She had crumpled underneath the swing of a Divine Smite, which had hit her straight in the chest. Astarion had yanked her back up to her feet as fast as he could, but Tav never fully recovered after that. It was Wyll who dealt the killing blow, sending those charlatans back to the hells.

Tav limped all the way back to camp. Karlach had offered her arm, which Tav had taken, but once they arrived at camp Tav quickly disappeared into her tent. Tav had given him so much today, too much. He could never truly repay her, but maybe he could give her a present of his own. One that would keep her in peak condition should they dally again. He could feed on beasts for a time, but if he had the option there was no contest about what he’d choose. She’d been willing last night. Perhaps with the right persuasion, and the right protective amulet, she would be again. Astarion pulled the Amulet of Silvanus out of his pack and slipped it back into his pocket.

He strode as casually as he could to Tav’s tent and gave the canvas a few soft taps by way of greeting. “Come in,” came Tav’s groggy, exhausted voice. Astarion slipped silently inside.

“Darling, today was positively marvelous,” he began. Tav was curled up in her bedroll, already falling asleep. Tav rolled over to face him and Astarion laid down beside her, close enough to tease but not close enough to touch. “I’m glad it was good for one of us,” Tav said, rubbing the premature sleep from her eyes. “Are you feeling better?”

“This is the best I have felt in a long time.” Astarion regretted his words as soon as they left his mouth. They were too true. “You gave me a wonderful gift today. I think it’s only fair that I give you a gift of your own.” He produced the amulet with a quick flick of his wrist. “It’s imbued with a spell that will make you feel so much better,” he purred. “May I?” Tav nodded. “Then sit up for me, my Sweet,” Astarion ordered softly.

As Tav sat up, Astarion gently maneuvered them so that he was sitting behind her, pulling her against his lap. He brushed aside her hair carefully, baring her neck to him. Despite Shadowheart’s healing, he could still see the faint imprint his fangs had left on her skin. He suppressed a possessive shudder. He settled the amulet gently against her throat, trailing his fingers along her collar bones, then her shoulders, then her neck, where he clasped the chain into place. Tav touched the amulet tentatively, using it as a conduit for the Weave. A soft blue light surrounded them and Tav felt her body surge with energy again.

“Thank you,” she said.

“You are more than welcome,” he whispered against the nape of her neck.

“About you biting me,” Tav began.

“I hope this is a satisfactory apology,” Astarion countered. “What more could you possibly want.” His hands drifted down to her waist. “Unless?”

“You can bite me again, if you want,” she said, arching her neck. “If we talk about it first.” Astarion buried his face in her hair.

“I suppose that is a deeply reasonable compromise,” he murmured. “But I promise, no more bites in the night.  I will wait very patiently until you invite me to dine with you.” He allowed his hand to slide across her abdomen.

“Will you dine with me tonight?” She asked.

Astarion audibly sighed. “I don’t know, darling. You just got your strength back. You should really rest.”

“I feel so much better, really,” Tav said. She gently clasped his hand in hers, slowly entwining their fingers. “Please, Astarion.” His fangs ached.

“Oh alright,” he said, sliding her backwards so that she sat fully in his lap. Astarion pressed his mouth against her ear. “But only because you beg so prettily,” he said lowly. Tav whimpered softly, but remained still. Then he bit her, hard and deep.

Tav was even more delicious the second time. She was rich and full-bodied, like the wine he must have loved in life. Now that he was merely ravenous and no longer on the brink of starvation, Astarion took smooth, consistent pulls from her, running his tongue over her throat after each bite. Tav melted against him, clutching his hand tightly. He wanted this to feel good for her. He wanted to be able to do this again.

“Astarion,” Tav moaned. He sucked harder against her neck, trying to bruise. She gasped and writhed against him, seeking out friction. Astarion finally allowed himself an experimental thrust, dragging his hard length along her backside. Tav gasped, delighted. They found a crude rhythm, instinctively grinding themselves against each other. Soon the tent was filled with the heady musk of arousal, the metallic tang of blood, Tav’s breathy gasps, and Astarion’s low, guttural groans of pleasure.

All too soon Tav’s heart began to stutter. It was a small murmur that interrupted her previously steady heartbeat. The dark animal inside of him told him to ignore it, to keep drinking until he was completely full. Astarion pulled away, swiping his tongue one last time over her, licking up any stray droplets he had missed. Once he was finished, Tav turned in his lap to face him, winding her arms around his neck.

For a moment they were both still. Tav’s eyes shone with lust and adoration, her breath coming in soft pants. Astarion’s neglected cock pulsed beneath her and he fought the urge to thrust up against her. He couldn’t remember the last time he had felt this warm, this desperate to be touched. He stared at her, trying to memorize every detail of her wanton expression. Tav pressed her lips against his hungrily and he opened his mouth to her with a soft moan. Tav’s tongue gently lapped at his own, sensuously licking up the remnants of her lifeblood. Astarion reluctantly broke the intoxicating kiss.

“I think it’s time you went to sleep, my dear,” Astarion said. Tav drew back, stung.

“Oh, um, alright.” She quickly slid off his lap and Astarion stood up, too quickly to be nonchalant. “Was that too-“

“Don’t worry, darling. You were perfect,” he said, brushing off non-existent dirt. “But you almost died today. And I need you in tip-top shape tomorrow.” Tav flushed with embarrassment, but nodded. “You are right,” she slowly agreed.

“I always am,” Astarion said. He moved to go, but turned back once he reached the exit to her tent. “Sweet dreams, pet. I’ll see you tomorrow.” He left before she could respond.

~

Of course there would be a condition. Tav wouldn’t let him drink her blood for free. It was him. He was the price. She would let him drink from her, perhaps nightly, so long as he slid into her bed each time. On some level this felt inevitable. He had always known that he would end up here, tangled in the most powerful party member’s sheets. The tadpole had changed many things but it hadn’t changed what he fundamentally was.

She wanted him. He wanted her. This was a good thing, he’d been actively aiming for this. So what was the harm? His old master had forced him to spread his legs for rotten scraps. His new one would have him on his back in exchange for a feast. This was a good thing!

But Astarion didn’t want a master. He wanted to be free. He wanted….he didn’t know what he wanted. If this was the price then he didn’t think he could pay it after all. Don’t be an idiot, his inner voice mocked. This is the way the world works. Blood for blood. Do you want to go back to Cazador? Then suck it up. This is our one in a million chance to be free and I will not see you fuck it up because, what? The pretty girl wants to kiss you and it makes you feel weird? Would you rather be tortured to within an inch of your pathetic life?

And yet another voice inside of him insisted that this was not fair. Tav had been kind to him. He had fallen on her in the middle of the night and she had fed him. She had defended him publicly to the rest of their company. She had stopped when he had wanted to stop.

Because she wants to fuck you, you imbecile.

He’d talk to her tomorrow and clearly iron out the details of this little arrangement. It was better, actually, if he left her wanting more for a while. He didn’t want her growing bored with him. So long as she didn’t eject him from the group, he could live with anything Tav threw at him. He had survived Cazador. He would survive Tav.

Author's Note:

Astarion is going to have a lot of complicated and contradictory feelings about Tav until more trust is built. This will take time, but I promise we will get there.

Chapter 3: Kiss

#astarion #astarion fanfic #astarion fic #astarion x tav #astarion x reader #the night shift #a taste of plums

[portaltothevoid]

hypothetically….

what if… there was an enemies to lovers, slow burn, mafia au fic… the ghafia, if you will… starring (dark) copia… what if i discovered the canon fact of copia having a gun… and i took that and ran.

and, hypothetically of course, there was an OC named arianna diodati who’s copia’s (very catholic) rival’s daughter… and he uses her as a bargaining chip to get what he wants…

and, also hypothetically, he becomes hellbent on corrupting her catholic ways….

then what if i told you… this was coming soon, very soon and there’s a teaser below the cut… 👀

and…. maybe…. chapters 1 & 2 of “God Called In Sick Today” can be found right here

trigger warnings for series include (but won’t be limited to): angst, abusive relationship, violence, gun use, kidnapping, blood, religious trauma, corruption kink, eventual smut, enemies to lovers, slow burn, dark romance

~~~~~~

Arianna never liked the Emeritus family. In fact, she borderline hated them with their menacingly painted faces and blasphemous way of life. She never quite understood how they rose to rival that of her family. Perhaps they really did make a deal with the devil.

“I’m going to grab a drink,” she said quietly. Alessio just waved her off, her father already in a passionate discussion regarding something she could care less about.

She made her way to the bar, getting the attention of one of the bartenders. “Your usual, Ms. Diodati?”

“Yes, please,” she smiled.

It wasn’t long until she felt a pair of eyes on her from the other end of the bar. She looked up to see Copia, the ringleader of the Satanic circus, staring her down like a hunter watching its prey. It sent a shiver down her spine, but all he saw was the scowl that encapsulated her face. That only made him smirk at her.

She rolled her eyes in disgust, looking away from him. Out of the corner of her eye, though, when she knew his attention was back on someone that wasn’t her, she couldn’t help herself from taking in his appearance. She hated to admit, he looked… elegant. His burgundy pants were impossibly tight in all the right ways. It pained her to acknowledge the way they perfectly hugged his thighs. He had foregone his suit jacket, leaving just his matching burgundy vest and black dress shirt and tie. His sleeves were rolled up and she could see his muscles flex as he grabbed his drink.

Her eyes lingered for a few seconds too long. This time, he caught her watching him. His mouth curled up again into a sly half-smile as he took a drink. His dichromatic eyes never left her. The instant her drink hit the counter, she brought it to her lips and weaved her way through everyone back to Alessio in hopes of putting distance between her and whatever exchange had just taken place.

~~~~~~

thoughts? if this sounds like something you’d want to dive into… let me know in a comment you want to be added to the tag list!

#fic teaser #copia x oc #copia #papa emeritus iv #papa copia #popia #copia smut #copia angst #mafia au #the band ghost #ghost bc #ghost the band #the band ghost fanfiction #copia emeritus #ghost copia #popia copia #papa emeritus 4 #papa emeritus iv x oc

[rogerswifesblog]

1 - The Devil I Desire

Series Masterlist

My Masterlist

A/N: Hi! This is my first Stucky Series and I hope you’ll like it. Tbh Steve is a dick in this one (at least in the beginning) and it won’t be Peggy friendly either. Also, READ TGE WARNINGS, it’s important since it’ll later on contain still like age gap, cheating and other rather controversial stuff.

Here’s the first chapter! Have fun reading!

And a big thank you to @jamneuromain who helped me with the idea and especially some things later on in the story…(especially some extra drama👀)

Likes, comments and reblogs are appreciated ❤️

Pairing: silver fox Steve Rogers x college student Bucky Barnes

Chapter summary: first meeting after a disaster….just leading into another one.

Warnings: age gap, alcohol consumption, past trauma

Bucky wanted to get wasted. Like, really get wasted. His tinder date was once again a total disaster and right now he just wanted to spend a fun evening with his best friend (preferably by getting wasted).

> waitin at the bar < Bucky texted Wanda, while sipping at his second tequila sunrise, scrolling through Instagram. All those happy couples annoyed him, posting all those cute pictures together. Why couldn’t he have this? Why couldn’t he be in such a cute relationship too?

He wasn’t even picky. He just wanted someone who didn’t hate cats or wasn’t a serial killer. (Tho he’d probably be able to look past the second part. As long as nobody hated his dear Alpine everything should be fine.)

Bucky definitely didn’t want anyone like today's date. He hadn’t felt this bad in a long time, really. First he had already suspected the other guy to be very egotistical and vain. Turned out to be the truth.

But after Bucky pulled up his sleeves from it being too hot in the restaurant? God, that’s where it all started to go downhill.

From the first moment where his scars were on display Bucky could feel his gaze on them, interested in a way, but mostly disgusted.

Just…

He couldn’t describe the vibe the other guy was giving him.

It made Bucky feel like…like an animal at the zoo, in a way. Everyone was looking at him. Judging for something he couldn’t change.

So after faking a family emergency he left his date and decided to text his group chat about wanting to go clubbing tonight. And getting drunk.

Very, very drunk.

Unless he’d find a hot guy to spend the night with. Then he’d rather remember it.

“Bucky!”, Wandas voice sounded close to him, even with the loud music killing every sound existing. Sometimes he was surprised how loud Wanda could be if she wanted to. Especially since she was always rather quiet. “Are you okay?”, her arms wrapped around his waist, hugging him from behind. “Hi, Wanda”, Bucky smiled tiredly, leaning a bit into the hug, sighing,

He explained to Wanda what had happened and why he was in such a bad mood. She was understanding, especially since she knew how much it took Bucky to carry himself with the confidence he did now.

Wanda hugged once again after Bucky finished the story, finishing the tequila sunrise.

After a while also Clint and Pietro came to the bar, both of them immediately ordering shots.

“So, tell us what happened and how drunk we wanna be tonight?”, joked Pietro, the accent strong on his tongue, especially now after already having drank some beers with Clint before they came to the club too.

Bucky chuckled at that, only giving Pietro one exhausted smile before explaining the whole story once again to both him and Clint. Just like Wanda they understood how Bucky felt.

While complaining to his friends he hadn’t even noticed the lingering gaze of a middle aged man, watching Bucky as he sipped from his tequila.

Steve sat with Sam in the corner of the club, having a whisky on ice in his hands and only partly listening to whatever Sam was trying to tell him. It was hard for him to hear what he said and he also couldn’t really concentrate on him when his eyes were glued to the younger man’s lips wrapped around a straw.

Then he looked back at Sam, noticing he had stopped talking. “Can you repeat anything of what I’ve said?”, Sam raised his eyebrows, laughing when Steve lowered his head, clearing his throat. “I’m listening…?” “Sorry, I was in thought-“ “yeah, yeah, watching someone out of your age range. At least if I’m correct about you looking at the guy with the manbun at the bar. I’m jot even sure if he’s out of high scho-“ “of course he is. He’s in a club. Drinking alcohol. He’s at least 21”, argued Steve, already slightly Offended.

He may like younger partners than himself, but he’d never be interested in someone who’d be below 21. If he had to be honest with himself he’d rather meet with people closer to thirty than twenty, but this young man definitely didn’t seem like mid twenties.

It broke his heart to imagine he couldn’t spend the night with him, but he was definitely too young…on the other hand, it’d be just for one night.

But he also couldn’t be too sure if Mr Man-bun would even want him. Who knew if he’d be into older men? Even though Steve kept himself fit and took care of his appearance, he couldn’t hide the graying hair in his beard, the gray strands in his hair and the few wrinkles that were already covering his forehead the more he furrowed his eyebrows. Or the little crow‘s feet from all the laughs in his life.

Sighing he looked into his Glas, noticing how some of the ice had already melted, making the alcohol watery and less enjoyable….which was a good reason to go to the bar and- “don’t think about it-“ “already did it”, Steve answered, standing up and walking over to the table, purposefully stopping next to his object of desires. Who was alone. His friends were on the dance floor while he was drinking something light blue again.

“Isn’t that a bit too much for one evening?”, Steve chuckled to the young man, after ordering himself a whisky. The young man quickly finished his drink, sipping from his straw. His lips wrapped around it so nicely, as he sucked the liquid…god, Steve, keep it in your pants.

“You get me another one and I’ll stop after that”, he said flirty, winking at Steve.

So Steve was game. A smirk crept onto his lips as he called out to the bartender to get the young man the same drink as before. This time a double.

“I’m Bucky”, the young man introduced himself, holding out his hand for Steve to shake, which he did. “Steve Rogers. Nice to meet you.”

Hm, the name Rogers sounded familiar to Bucky's ears, but he ignored it.

Instead he was already looking forward to meeting this attractive man, “so…what are your plans for tonight? What are you gonna do?”

Hoped You. Was Steve's First thought but he kept his mouth shut. “I’m not sure yet…I think I’ll finish this drink and go home”, he shrugged, not being able to keep the smirk hidden.

Bucky felt like he should immediately tell this gorgeous man he would leave this place alone but…he was never one for one night stands. He actually never had one, hell, he never had sex with someone, he only had his cock sucked a couple of times or did it himself. The closest thing he had to a one night stand was when he rubbed off a guy in the toilets of a bar on a first date. Afterwards the guy never talked to him again.

He decided to be honest.

“I’d be lying if I’d say you wouldn’t be going home alone even though I’d love to say it but…I’m not that kind of guy. I mean-I really want to know what you’re hiding beneath those clothes because your shoulders seem wider than the doors but…-“ “hey, hey, don’t worry, we can just get to know each other, talk a bit…we can go back to mine and just leave it at a conversation”, Steve smiled even though he had definitely intended the night to be different.

But he was good with his words. And he knew it’d work out to his favor.

It wouldn’t be the first time anyway.

So he wasn’t surprised to see Bucky texting his friends he wouldn’t be home for the night as they were leaving the building together.

Thank you for reading! I’d appreciate some feedback ❤️

What do you think why Bucky knows Steve’s surname?👀it’ll be important later on….👀

Taglist: @ozeriterchick @guiltypleasureisfun @ayronren (I’ve decided to tag some people that had reblog the series summary and might be interested! )

All posts taglist: @rogersbarber

#steve rogers #steve rogers fanfiction #steve rogers fluff #bucky barnes fluff #bucky barnes drabble #james bucky buchanan barnes #james bucky barnes #bucky barns fanfiction #bucky barnes smut #steve rogers fic #stucky fandom #stucky moodboard #stucky fluff #stucky fic #stucky fanfiction #stucky fanfic #stucky smut #stucky #college!bucky #silver fox Steve

[mymoodwriting]

25.6K, werewolf, vampire, hybrid, blood, gore, kidnapping, experimentation, drugs, torture, needles, death, claws, fangs, murder, biting, mating, smut, non-con, knotting, mind control, manipulation, compulsion, self-harm, trauma, magic, yandere (@starillusion13)

“Did you miss me?”

    Today was supposed to be uneventful. Just a gathering of the elders, and the higher ups from the pack to celebrate your fifth year wedding anniversary, as well as the anniversary for the unification of the packs. There were cheers, and congratulations, an endless amount of alcohol flowing as well. This was cause for celebration, but you weren’t in a festive mood. So you sat quietly at the main table next to your husband, a simple smile on your face to keep up appearances. Everything was going well until some unexpected guests interrupted.

    It seemed that some unknown pack had come to ruin the festivities. Although there was something off about their scent. Everything had gone quiet as the situation needed to be assessed, but everyone was on alert. The intruders were already causing trouble, the pack members stealing food and drinks while climbing on top of tables. Only one appeared calm, most likely the alpha, who approached the main table. His gaze was fixed on you which was rather intimidating but you stayed calm. Your husband had already gotten up and had no issue confronting this intruder and getting his attention.

“Who are you? How dare you storm in here and run wild!”

“Me? In all honesty, I’m disgusted. After all these years, I return to this?”

“What the hell are you talking about?!”

“Silence.” The wolf growled. “This betrayal will not stand!”

    A thunderous roar startled everyone, and suddenly disruption turned to rage. The other wolves began attacking, and soon a fight had broken out. The assumed alpha charged up to the main table, climbing over it and easily tossing anyone who wasn’t you. He grabbed your husband by the throat, digging his claws into their skin before throwing them to the side. You had been too stunned by the whole ordeal to move, and now this wolf was staring you down with fierce red eyes.

“Let’s see what I missed!”

    You only saw a flash of silver fangs before they were buried deep in your neck. The pain was unlike anything you had ever felt before, and then just as quickly as it came, it was gone. A feeling of euphoria began to overtake your senses, and in the moments before it took over you thought to yourself, vampire. That didn’t make sense though, he smelled like a wolf, he roared like one too, yet there was something off about him. You could only be left to wonder as your thoughts slowed and you sunk down into a void.

🖤

“Sangyeon, come on! I want to show you something!”

    When you got up and saw yourself in the mirror you were overjoyed. You quickly dressed and found a hat, sprinting off to Sangyeon’s house to get him. It was still early in the morning but you knew he was already up. As soon as you found him you took his hand and pulled him along into the woods. He laughed and asked you where you were going but you said it was a secret. You kept running, going outside the pack’s territory and finding some nice shade under a tree.

“What’s this about?”

“I wanted you to be the first to see!”

    You took off your hat, revealing your wolf ears. Sangyeon’s eyes went wide, and he couldn’t help but reach over to touch them. Your regular ears had gotten slightly bigger, changing shape and were now very soft and fuzzy.

“Your ears shifted!”

“I’m so excited! And I want you to help me learn how to control them!”

“What they say about your family is true, your powers develop so early in life.”

“You’ll get your powers soon too!”

“When I do you’ll be the first to see, promise.”

    The two of you stayed out in the woods as you tried to figure out how to control your ears. You were just kids so no one would really be looking for you, and the rest of the pack would know you’re together. Neither of you really understood what being betrothed to each other meant, besides that you were going to get married when you were older, but it was a great reason to hang out together. You were introduced to each other a few months back and became fast friends. Now you did everything together which pleased your elders.

“This is so hard!”

Sangyeon chuckled. “You’ll get it though. You just have to keep trying.”

“I’m tired…”

“Then let’s take a break. Should we head back? I’m sure your parents want to see you too.”

“No, I want to get this right so I can show them!”

“They’ll be proud either way, and they can probably help you more than me.”

“I know…”

“Come on, let’s go back.”

    Sangyeon reached over to pet your head, scratching your ears a bit before taking your hand and helping you to your feet. He always brought a smile to your face, and you were happy to have him as your best friend. As you were walking back to the territory you suddenly came to a stop, Sangyeon pulling you to the ground. Before you could ask why you heard an arrow fly over your head. You whimpered, and Sangyeon covered your mouth, raising a finger to his lips. Moments later you heard footsteps around and you both knew what they were, hunters.

    You were still rather far from the border of your pack’s territory. Hunters knew better than to cross the line, but that wouldn’t stop them from lingering around just outside every now and then. Unfortunately today had been one of those days, and you’d surely be spotted if you just made a run for it. You couldn’t just hide either, as that was just as dangerous. You were terrified, and Sangyeon was well aware of that too. He carefully led you over somewhere else to hide, assuring you that everything was going to be alright.

“Y/n, listen to me closely. I’m gonna draw the hunters away, and I want you to go get the pack for help.”

“But what about you? What if something happens…”

“We’re both fast. I can out run them so you can get help.”

“No, no I don’t like this plan. Sangyeon-”

“Sh, everything’s going to be alright.” He pet your head again. “We’ll play together again, I promise.”

“Sangyeon…”

“When it’s clear, I want you to run, got it?” You nodded. “Good. Run as fast as you can.”

    Sangyeon smiled so brightly at you before running off. Soon enough you heard footsteps following after him. Once things had gotten quiet you ran towards the border, towards your pack. You were in tears when you finally found one of your elders, babbling nonsense about hunters and how Sangyeon was still outside pack territory. You wanted to go back out there with the ones that were sent out, but you were just a child and had to stay. Your parents asked you what happened, and then it dawned on you that this was your fault. You had taken Sangyeon outside the territory, and put him in danger. Many tried to say that wasn’t the case, that this wasn’t your fault, but when the others returned without Sangyeon it got quiet.

    You were locked up in your room after that, not because you were forced to stay there, but because you didn’t want to leave. After the incident you heard the Lee family over at your house a few times, arguing with your parents and wanting something to be done, but there wasn’t really a solution. You didn’t know what to do anymore, you didn’t know how you could face anybody ever again. They all had their reasons to be mad, or even resent you, but no one hated you more than yourself. After another long night of crying you found yourself staring at your reflection in the mirror, your eyes fixed on your wolf ears.

    Just seeing them upset you, knowing full well those stupid things were the reason for all of this. The night you snuck into the kitchen and stole a knife, staring in the mirror as you planned to cut off your ears. The pain was bad enough that all you could really manage were a few deep cuts on your left ear, and nicking a bit off the tip, before your parents found you and stopped you. The wounds healed, but the scars remained. You wore a headband after that, always hiding your ears, never bothering to learn how to actually control your power and just ignoring it. If you could ignore the world for the rest of your life, you would have, but that wasn’t an option for you.

    Your pack, and the Lee pack, lived together, and claimed the same territory, but they were still separate. The idea had been that your marriage with Sangyeon, being that you were the children of the alpha from your respective packs, would unify everyone. Without Sangyeon, that unification was left floating in limbo, but sooner or later it had to be discussed. As you were coming of age the situation was brought up, and the Lee family were refusing to go through with the unification. They rightfully hated you and blamed you for the death of their son. You felt the same way, carrying that guilt with you, but even if you’ve neglected your responsibilities over the years, you had to do something about this.

“Please accept me, I beg of you.”

    Making your way to the Lee house, and begging on your knees was certainly humiliating, and causing quite a scene, but you didn’t care for that.

“I am a murder, a monster who took your son away from you. My actions should not be the cause of suffering for either of our packs.”

“Your pack? What have you ever done for them besides being a burden?”

“All I can do for them is make sure that innocent lives aren’t taken. If our two packs don’t unify, there will surely be a war, innocent blood will be spilled, something that neither of us want.”

“You’ve already spilled innocent blood!”

“I know I have done you wrong by taking your son from you, and I am here now offering you my life.”

“Your life?”

“I will wed whoever you deem worthy, and step down from any and all positions of power. The pack that will form from this union will be yours. I will be nothing but a stepping stone for you in this matter, one that’s to be forgotten afterwards. Whatever you want of me, I will give it to you, all I ask is that you accept my pack as your own without harboring any ill will towards them. I bear all the responsibility and guilt in the matter of your loss, not them.”

    You were thrown out of that house without an answer, but with a notion of consideration. That’s all you could hope, left to anxiously wait for their response. When you said you would do anything you meant it, and the Lee’s were going to take you up on that. They’d accept the union under the promise you’d never shift, which included your first. To anyone else such an ask would be horrifying, but you accepted without hesitation. Ever since the incident you abandoned your wolf side, and since you lived like you were dead, nothing properly developed either. Of course that wouldn’t stop the power of the moon once you were of age, which meant you’d need to take suppressants.

    You had no problem with that, you just had to make sure no one found out, especially your parents. If they knew about this they would never allow it but this wasn’t about them but what’s best for the pack. It wasn’t easy getting suppressants, but you managed. The bright side of being a loner all your life meant you didn’t have to worry so much about being caught. Over time you certainly began to feel different, a lot weaker than normal, and then came the big day. There wasn’t much of a celebration for your eighteenth birthday, but there was a lot of anticipation for your first proper full moon. You already knew how it was going to go down, but your pack didn’t.

    It hurt that night, on so many levels. The moon was calling out to you, but you resisted and fought back. Even with the suppressants, you didn’t want this, not just because it was part of the deal, but because the wolf inside you was a monster. One that should never see the light. There were a handful of witnesses to watch you struggle, to them appearing like you just couldn’t shift, that you didn’t have any power at all. Your parents were heartbroken to see that. To them that trauma of that day had affected you so severely you couldn’t even shift, in a way they were right. After that night they certainly worried about the union, given that you weren’t really presenting as the alpha you were expected to be.

    As promised the Lee family took no issue with that, and assured your parents, and your pack, that the union would continue on as planned. That’s around the time you were introduced to Junwoo, properly introduced that is. You remembered him a bit from your childhood, having played with him and Sangyeon a handful of times. He was a cousin in the Lee family, and had been chosen to marry you. With the announcement made you two began to spend more time together, and he assured you that he would do right by you. He knew your situation, not just the inability to shift, but about what happened when you were a kid and how that’s affected your life.

    You appreciated that, although it wouldn’t change much about your feelings. From the beginning you could tell he really liked you, maybe even had a crush on you when you were little. If you could choose, you’d never want to marry anyone, or play with their feelings, you didn’t feel you were worthy of love, but this was your responsibility and you wouldn’t let others suffer for your mistakes. The wedding was grand and celebrated by all, even if you would catch the occasional whisper about your condition, questioning your own ability to lead. Still you put on a smile and acted the part of the happy wife. Then came the mating. It was part of the deal, uniting the packs, so you couldn’t refuse.

“Can I mark you where I want?”

“Uh… I’d prefer it if it was somewhere hidden… if you can…”

“Sure.”

    Junwoo ended up marking your shoulder, low enough as well that a simple shirt would cover it up. You marked him in a similar position, having to mentally lower your guard so you don’t unintentionally resist. You let the bond wash over you, feeling this connection to Junwoo settle. His feelings became more apparent, and he probably realized just how much you were dragging yourself along. Even if you didn’t want this you’d be good to him, and he’d do the same. As promised you stepped away and never really made a move to run things. So you didn’t attend gatherings with the elders, and you weren’t involved with affairs of the pack. Junwoo would still tell you about things and ask your opinion, but you never over stepped. 

    You became more of a house wife, staying home and filling your time with books, or learning to cook among other things. Even if you didn’t think you deserved happiness, there were some moments. At least you were living the quiet life you wanted, knowing there was peace among the pack and everyone was alright. You were content that way, and didn’t notice the passage of time until your fifth year anniversary came around. It was cause to celebrate, since it wasn’t just about your union but the union of the packs. So you couldn’t avoid the situation. You figured it would be a rowdy night of joy, until some party crashers arrived and turned everything on its head.

🖤

    Sangyeon pulled back from your neck, mouth full of blood. He inhaled deeply, letting the haze of memories sink in. His rage from before settled down, replaced by a sense of guilt. He gently cupped your cheek, seeing how out of it you were. When he saw all of this he thought you betrayed him, but now he knew that was far from the truth. It was a long shot but he let out a low roar. You whimpered, but given your weakened state you obeyed him, your ears shifting to your wolf ones. Sangyeon took them in, gently reaching over to your left one. It never healed properly, so it was decorated with scars, a few bits missing as well. For this he felt responsible, for all the pain you suffered over the years as well.

“I’m sorry I made you wait so long, love.”

    Sangyeon’s eyes glowed and he roared loudly. Everyone was stunned for a moment, and then his pack began howling. Beforehand things were just rowdy, countless fights breaking out, but he was done with games. He was still angry, but for different reasons now. Multiple growls and snarls filled the air for a moment, and then things got violent. Blood was spilled and screams of agony were heard. Death began to surround everyone, but Sangyeon kept his attention on you. He bit into his wrist, deeply, then pressed his wound against your lips, encouraging you to drink from him. In your dazed state you didn’t understand what was happening, so he grabbed your head and held your mouth open.

“Don’t touch her!”

    The one who had been next to you regained their senses, growling and lunging at Sangyeon. The boy roared and attacked, clawing up his attacker. He cut deep enough to draw blood, but also tore up their clothes. That’s when he saw the mating bite on their shoulder and growled.

“I hate that.”

    Sangyeon jumped the other, pinning them to the ground, clawing up their chest. His victim was coughing up blood, soon choking on it as well. He didn’t stop until there was no longer a heartbeat, digging his claws into the dying wolfs mating mark. You screamed from the pain, from the sudden ache in your soul over the death of your mate. It stabled your mind and you could take in the carnage around you. Countless members of your pack were death, and all you could see were these silver fanged monsters standing above them. Your eyes then caught sight of Junwoo, his body lying beneath a red eyed monster.

“No… no…”

    You stood with the intent to go to him, only for his killer to rush back over to you and pin you back down in your chair. You screamed and squirmed, tears blurring your vision. This pain was like no other, and all you wanted to do was fight, but you had no strength. Even in all this your own wolf side couldn’t help, years of repressing couldn’t disappear at will.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, everything will be okay. I promise.”

“You… you monster! You… you…”

    Sangyeon bit into his wrist again, shoving his bloody arm into your mouth. Now you were horrified to see what was going on. You tasted blood, and desperately wanted to spit it out, but he was holding you firm. You had to swallow in order to breathe, but taking in air also meant taking in more blood. You didn’t know how much you swallowed, but you felt sick. When he finally moved his arm away you wanted to throw up but he placed a hand over your mouth, getting you into a headlock.

“Everything’s going to be alright, I love you.”

    You couldn’t process his words, fully overtaken by panic and fear. Then you caught a certain hint of something. After all these years you still remembered, you’d always remember. You stopped your struggles, a name slipping past your lips before everything went dark.

“Sangyeon…”

🖤

    You gasped awake, your hands shooting up to your neck. A moment ago you had been in agony, a mixture of disbelief mixing in before your life cut to black. Now that you were awake you had this lingering pain in your neck, it felt rigid, but slowly it began to feel better. You began to take in your surroundings, not recognizing anything. You had been laid atop a bunch of bare mattresses, and were left completely alone. Memories of the wedding celebration began to surface, you remembered the slaughter, the attackers. There was so much more there but you couldn’t stick around to face your kidnappers.

    You found a way out of this room, carefully making sure no one would hear you. As you continued to move about silently, you managed to get outside. There was nothing but wilderness around you, so you just chose a direction and ran. Your heart was racing, your mind was too, but you needed to get far away before you could figure anything else out. The sun was blinding and irritating, your throat was dry too. You swear you were just running around in circles, but you kept going. That is until a howl startled you and made you stop. You couldn’t tell where it was coming from, so after the initial panic you continued to run.

    A moment later a wolf jumps in front of you, forcing you to stumble in your steps and collapse to the ground. You crawled back for a moment, quickly getting back up and intending to run in another direction only to see another wolf, and another, and another. In less than a minute you were surrounded by what seemed to be a whole pack. You thought to fight, even though you were outnumbered, and your power would be no match for them. One wolf began to approach you, and then shifted before your eyes. You immediately recognized them as the alpha who crashed the party, the one who killed your mate and attacked you.

“Easy, no one’s going to hurt you.”

“Who are you… why did you kidnap me!”

“Y/n… it’s me…”

“How do you know my name?!”

“I’d never forget it. You’re all I’ve thought about for the last decade…”

“Who… who are you…”

“You don’t remember me? I mean, I know that’s not true, you do but things have changed.”

“What?”

“My scent isn’t the same, so you couldn’t recognize me earlier, but there is still a hint of my original scent you’d know.” He held out his hand. “Please.”

    Even if he was being kind, you knew you didn’t have a choice here. So you carefully approached him, taking his hand. He quickly pulled you into his arms and held you in his embrace. You cautiously leaned forward into the crook of his neck, taking in his scent. You smelled the undead, so he was certainly a vampire, but you could also smell a wolf. Such a combination didn’t make sense, but as you breathed in his scent, something started to click. You took in a deep breath, wrapping your arms around him, holding him tight and starting to tremble.

“Sang… Sangyeon…”

“I told you we’d play again. I’m keeping my promise.”

“Sangyeon…”

    You started crying, hugging Sangyeon tight as you buried your face in his chest. After all these years, at some point you had accepted his death, to some degree, so you couldn’t believe he was here with you now. After a while you pulled away, sniffling.

“You… you’re real… right… I’m not dreaming… I’m not dead…”

“No, no, no, baby. I’m real, I’m alive and well.”

“What happened to you?” You were a sobbing mess. “It was all my fault! If I hadn’t dragged you out there…”

“Sh, sh, sh… it’s okay y/n, everything’s okay. None of this is your fault.”

“Where have you been… what happened…”

“It’s a long story, but let’s get you back. You still need to rest.”

    Sangyeon didn’t wait for a response, picking you up in his arms bridal style and carrying you. He brought you back to the place you escaped from, as this seemed to be his home. Your tears had passed for the time being, but you had so many questions.

“Sangyeon…”

“Hm?”

“Your scent… how is it different?”

“What does it tell you?”

“Well… you still smell like your old self, but it’s not the only thing… you also smell… dead…”

“So what’s the conclusion?”

“You’re still a wolf… but you smell like a vampire too… how is that possible?”

“Because I’m both.”

“What? That… that’s impossible…”

“I thought so once too, but I’m living proof of the impossible. All my boys are.”

“So you’re all… hybrids?”

    On the journey back, once you had calmed down, you did a quick little head count. A total of ten wolves had been following you and Sangyeon. Now that he had confirmed your suspicions you looked back at all of them, realizing their scents were strange too. 

“But… all of you… how?”

“A story for another time.”

“Wait, what about my pack? You just showed up and attacked everyone and-”

“Those mutts aren’t your pack.”

“Uh… what? They’re your-”

“A pack doesn’t treat you the way they did. They got what they deserved.”

“That’s not on them. What happened was my fault…”

“No it’s not. Those hunters were hanging around outside the territory. Anyone who got close to the border could have been attacked.”

“But I’m the one who dragged you out there…”

“We were kids, you were a kid y/n, how could you possibly know?”

“We were always told not to go outside the territory…”

    You got back into the house. Now that you were taking it in you could see how big it was, and how run down it was too. Sangyeon set you down on another miscellaneous bare mattress around. He knelt down, wiping away the silent tears that had been falling.

“I don’t blame you for anything that happened, love. I’m here now with you, that’s all that matters.”

“I’m sorry…”

“You have nothing to apologize for.”

“Everyone thought you were dead…”

“Far from it.” Sangyeon pet your head. “You must be hungry. Let me get you some food.”

    Sangyeon stepped away, leaving you in the room with the rest of what you assumed was his pack. You still had questions, but you were definitely feeling hungry. You looked yourself over, seeing you were in the same clothes as before, but with bits of dried blood. You reached up to your biting mark, only to discover it was gone. You quickly pulled your shirt down and saw your shoulder, smooth and unmarked. You couldn’t believe it, frantically looking around for a reflective surface and finding a mirror. You rushed over, seeing that it was true, your mating mark was gone from your shoulder, but there was a new one right in the crook of your neck. You ran your fingers along the new mark, feeling a tingling sensation. This didn’t make sense, you watched your mate die, yet you didn’t feel any pain from that loss. Now you had a new mark, wondering where it came from when the answer appeared behind you.

“You noticed.”

“Sangyeon.” You turned around to face him. “Did you bite me? When?!”

“When I brought you home.”

“What?! But… Junwoo-”

Sangyeon growled. “Don’t mention that mutt.”

“He was my mate! And you-”

“I’m your mate! You were always supposed to be mine!”

“How did you get rid of my other mark? How come I don’t feel his loss! What did you do to me!”

“I changed you.”

“… what?”

“The only way to set you free from all that was to turn you. I fed you my blood and then…”

“You… you killed me…”

    You thought back to the celebration, remembering Sangyeon force feeding you his blood while telling you everything was going to be alright. The pain in your neck suddenly made sense, considering he had your head in his hands before everything went dark. If you died, just as your mate did, that would completely dissolve your previous bond. So once you were alive again, even if you weren’t conscious, Sangyeon had bit you, claiming you as his own.

“I changed you. Made you like me so we could be together.”

“You killed me…”

“Y/n-”

“You marked me without my consent!”

“You’re my mate!” Sangyeon growled. “Do you have any idea how I felt when I returned and saw you married and mated to someone else? I thought you betrayed me only to discover you had been forced into all of this for the sake of the pack, for the sake of peace. None of them treated you properly! I had to get you out and set things right!”

“Sangyeon-”

“Did you want to stay there?”

“…”

“Why are you upset with me then?”

“I… I… I’m still processing everything okay… this is a lot to take in…”

“I know.” Sangyeon took a breath. “Just forget about that other guy and everything else, let’s focus on the present, okay?”

“Okay…”

    Your head started to feel a bit fuzzy, and Sangyeon noticed. He took your hand to assure you, and held up a flask.

“Here. You’re surely hungry.”

“Thanks.”

    You took the flask, popping open the lid only for the smell of blood to hit your nose. You nearly dropped it but Sangyeon caught it.

“What’s wrong?”

“I... I…”

“Sorry. I should have mentioned it first. Since you’re a vampire now…”

“Blood is part of my diet…”

“Yeah.”

“It’s really good!” One of the boys commented. “You’ll like it.”

“Eric.” Sangyeon growled. “Quiet.”

“Sorry…”

“It’ll take some getting used to.” You said as you took the flask. “And it does explain the dry throat.”

    You tried not to let the smell get to you, and tipped the flask against your lips. When you had tasted Sangyeon’s blood before, it was rather gross. Although now, when the red substance hit your tongue, it tasted quite divine. You emptied the flask, licking your lips and getting a chuckle out of Sangyeon.

“Good?”

“Yeah.”

“I got more for you, so you can have your fill. Come on.”

    One of the boys cleared their throat, and Sangyeon glanced over. They had all been quietly watching and fidgeting around while you both talked. Although before you left there was clearly something to say or do.

“Yes?”

“You haven’t introduced us yet…”

“Right.” Sangyeon held your hand. “Y/n, this is my pack. Boys, this is y/n, my mate.”

    They had been around, and heard everything, but the words being spoken aloud caused them to start howling and cheering. It was unexpected and embarrassing, but they all seemed very happy for their alpha. Sangyeon eventually got them all to calm down and introduce themselves to you. It was nice to put names to faces. 

“So, where’s your mate bite Sangyeon?” Jacob asked.

“Oh, well about that…” Sangyeon glanced at you, seeing you were nervous. “That’s more of a private matter. You all just behave yourselves alright.”

    With that said Sangyeon led you to another room. Ignoring the whimpers from the rest of the pack, but soon enough you could hear them messing around with one another. Sangyeon wound up taking you to what seemed like a proper bedroom in comparison to where you had woken up before.

“Sangyeon… about the bite… I…”

“Let’s get you some food first, and then we can talk about that.”

“Okay.”

“Good. I’ll be right back.”

    Your head felt a lot better now that you’ve had some blood, and you certainly wanted more. While you waited your eyes wandered, and eventually landed on yourself. You stared down at your hands, starting to wonder what you had become. You never really lived as a wolf, and now apparently you were a vampire too. Your life had changed so fast, just like that day years ago. You didn’t notice the tears until they fell to the floor. You never had an answer as to who you were.

“Y/n…”

    Sangyeon found you with tears in your eyes, putting down the bottles he had brought with him and kneeling down before you. He gently wiped away the tears.

“Baby, what’s wrong?”

“I… I don’t know… I don’t know…”

“Sh, sh, it’s okay.” Sangyeon pulled you into a hug. “It’s gonna be okay, we’ll figure everything out together.”

    You don’t know how long you cried for, but there was a lot you needed to let out. Years of your life had gone by, living as if you were dead. Punished by the world and yourself for the actions of a child. Just holding Sangyeon again made you realize how much you had lost. He held you and whispered words of assurance that he didn’t hate you or blame you for anything. Once you finally started to calm down he had you eat, wanting to make sure you had enough. So you ate your fill, and then rested your head in his lap as he pet you.

“So… what happens now?”

“I’m not entirely sure. It hasn’t been that long since we escaped. We just found this place and kinda settled in before I could figure out how to go home… that didn’t go to plan, so I guess this is home now.”

“Escaped… Sangyeon-”

“I’ll tell you another time. I want you to adjust and be alright before we talk about my past, okay?”

“Alright… but…”

“Hm?”

“The bite…”

“I know we should have talked about it before I did anything. It wasn’t fair to just assume things were still the same after all these years. I know at this point I’ve basically forced your hand but you don’t have to do anything right now.”

“I’m not complete though…”

“What?”

You sat up. “It’s weird to have a mating bite and not… feel the other person… and it probably doesn’t look good to the rest of your pack if you aren’t marked despite introducing me as your mate… so…”

“Are you sure? You don’t have to do this right now.”

“It was always supposed to be you, so I don’t really have any problem.” You took Sangyeon’s hand. “I’d rather be mated properly and figure things out from there.”

“If you’re sure.”

“I am…”

“In that case… I would like you to mark me in a similar place, but you don’t have to.”

“No, that’s okay… I like it. I’m sure your pack will love teasing you about it too.”

    You crawled up onto Sangyeon’s lap, helping him remove his shirt. You took him in for a moment, starting to feel nervous about the whole thing. He assured you that it would be alright. You took a deep breath, focusing on bringing out your canines. He happily watched you, and guided your head into the crook of his neck. You only took a moment before sinking your teeth deep into his skin. The taste of blood was quite delicious, but you weren’t feeding off him. You stayed like that for a moment before pulling back.

    For a while you thought the mark might heal, given he was a hybrid now, but it remained, just as yours did. Despite being something new, the powers of a mating bite remained the same and left a mark for others to know you had bonded with your mate. As everything began to settle you felt a new tingling sensation, your own mark burning as the bond actually completed. You could feel a part of Sangyeon weaving himself along your soul, assuring you all the more that it was truly him. The lover you had lost, having made their way back to you. It brought more tears to your eyes, and you hugged him tight.

“I’m right here… I’m right here love…”

    Now Sangyeon could really tell how deep your disbelief and joy went in regards to seeing him again. So many years just wallowing in guilt, he wished he could just wash it away, take all your pain and make it disappear. He had so much time to make up for, and he wanted nothing more than to make you happy every moment going forward. The two of you stayed in each others embrace for a while, letting everything wash over you and settle into place. The future was scary to think about, but you’d face it head on without fear as long as you had Sangyeon by your side. That’s all you’d need.

🖤

    Adjusting to the life of a hybrid wasn’t easy. It was a rebirth. You had never really been a wolf before, but now you were more than that. Being a vampire brought on a lot of new changes in your life. For starters you didn’t have to worry about the sun burning, since your hybrid nature seemed to protect you from that. Although sunlight could become irritable if you didn’t eat properly. That was another thing, your diet had completely changed. Blood was your main food source. You didn’t really need anything else, but you could still enjoy it if you wanted to. Not that you really could. This new home, which Sangyeon had found, needed a lot of work done.

    The thing is you wanted to bring it up, but you didn’t know how. There were so many things you still didn’t know about him. Specifically what had become of him and what happened to him the last decade. At some point you’d have to talk to him about it, but you weren’t sure when the time would be to ask. You also wanted to give him space, and let him come to you when he was ready. Whatever happened must have been traumatic, so it wouldn’t be right to press the matter. So you’d wait, and see what this new life had to offer you. For starters this new pack was something else.

    All these boys were so energetic and carefree. They got along well with each other and Sangyeon, although you wouldn’t really call them a pack. More like a bunch of wolves living together, and recognizing Sangyeon as their alpha. You figured you might have to step in at some point to teach them proper etiquette, but then again you didn’t see them interacting with other packs down the line. The world didn’t even know such a creature like a hybrid even existed. So for the most part you just stayed at Sangyeon’s side. You spent the days just talking, mostly you, as he wanted to know everything he had missed out on.

    You were more than happy to share with him your little moments of happiness. Even if it was hard to hide the fact you didn’t really live much without him. He still wanted to know. So that’s how you spent your days, just telling stories. For the most part you stayed in Sangyeon’s room, just hearing the others messing around in the other rooms. Although at night it would get quiet. It wasn’t that the boys were sleeping, but they always seemed to disappear at night. Not every night of course, they needed to rest too. You weren’t entirely sure what was going on until one day it came to your attention.

“She’s so cute!”

    Sangyeon immediately shushed Kevin, not wanting to wake you. After eating you had fallen asleep, resting your head in his lap. He wasn’t gonna disturb you so he let you sleep, softly petting your head. After a while he began to feel something furry, looking down to see your ears had shifted. It was adorable, and a good sign that you were comfortable. Of course around that time Kevin had come into the room and noticed your ears as well, immediately excited. He reached over to scratch them softly, finding your whines adorable. Although he could only do so for a bit before you began to wake up.

“Hm…”

    You slowly lifted your head, looking around. You knew Sangyeon was with you, but it took a moment to register Kevin.

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you, but your ears were just so cute.”

“My ears?”

    You reached up to your ears, feeling the fur and quickly slapping your hands over them. You were suddenly very shy and nervous. Sangyeon could immediately tell and reached up to place his hands over yours.

“Hey, hey, you don’t have to hide them. It’s okay.”

“…”

“They’ve healed up properly now, so you don’t have to worry.”

“They have?”

    You got up and stepped over to the mirror, taking a look at your ears. You were left speechless seeing that there weren’t any scars or injuries. They were perfectly normal, and they hadn’t been like that in years. You figured this was the result of your transformation, and that the change actually healed you. Still, it wasn’t something you were entirely comfortable with, so you closed your eyes and focused on turning your ears back to normal. Which you accomplished.

“So, can you fully shift too?” Kevin asked. “I’m sure we’d all love to see your wolf form.”

“Uh… well… I…”

“Kevin.” Sangyeon interrupted. “What is it that you came here for?”

“Oh, right. I was gonna ask if you were joining us tonight.”

“I’m afraid not. So you all have fun.”

“Alright…”

    Kevin let out a low whine, but excused himself. That certainly got your attention, and you watched the boy as you made your way back over to Sangyeon. You sat down in his lap, getting yourself comfortable, but he noticed you had something on your mind.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing just… what do they do at night?”

“They’re just out hunting.”

“Hunting?”

“For food, and also just playing around.”

“Oh… shouldn’t you go with them?”

“I don’t want to leave you alone.”

“But they’re your pack. You need to spend time with them too.”

“Do you not see them as your pack?”

“I’m your mate, so of course they’re my pack.” You nuzzled his chest. “I’m just not used to socializing in a pack… and they seem to be a lot…”

“I’ll talk to them.”

“You’re just gonna embarrass me.”

“But it’s important you all get along.”

“I know, I know… you should go out with them too though. If you don’t, you’ll get distant and that’s not good. You’re their alpha, you have to take care of them.”

“And you’re my mate. I have to take care of you too.”

“You can do both.”

Sangyeon chuckled. “Alright. Tomorrow night I’ll go out with them.”

“Good… I can have the bed all to myself.”

“Ah, is that your true intention here?”

“Maybe…”

    As much as you wanted Sangyeon to yourself, you knew he had to take care of the boys, and someday you would too. You were still building up to that, but now that you would have some time alone, you could focus on yourself. It was embarrassing to admit you didn’t have much control over yourself, especially now. You wanted to practice, and you didn’t want anyone else seeing that. You told Sangyeon to have fun and not to worry about you. When he got back you’d be right here waiting for him.

    Once you were alone you went to your bedroom, the one you shared with Sangyeon, and sat down in front of the mirror. You took a deep breath and closed your eyes, deciding to focus on your claws. You tried to bring them out, but every time you opened your eyes you saw your nails were normal. It was a bit frustrating, but you knew it was because you weren’t used to this. Your fangs could come out normally, and you had great control over those. Afterall it was important to your diet, so it made sense. When it came to anything relating to your wolf side though, you struggled. Somehow you had managed to get your canines out with Sangyeon in order to mark him, but that was an important moment whereas now you were just sitting alone.

    Even the incident with your ears from the other day felt more like a fluke than any real progress. You hadn’t even been awake, and were more used to forcing your wolf side down in a panic than bringing anything out. Looking at yourself now you felt kind of embarrassed. Kevin had asked you if you could shift, even though you didn’t answer him, the fact was that you couldn’t. If you weren’t capable of half shifting, how could you ever fully become a wolf. You weren’t gonna be an embarrassment to Sangyeon and his pack, so you had to gain control. Besides that, as a hybrid now, if you wound up losing control things could be much worse.

    Over the days you felt you were making progress, but very little. Your ears were easier to control than your canines or claws. You were proud of yourself, but you didn’t mention it, wanting to have actual control when you showed Sangyeon. So the nights you had to yourself you’d practice. For the most part you were alone, but then you were met with an unexpected surprise. You were focusing on summoning your canines when you suddenly heard laughter, and realized it was multiple people. You quietly opened the door to the bedroom, hearing the voices out in the main area. You snuck over, seeing Juyeon with two others. They were all smiles and laughter, then Juyeon sunk his fangs into one of them.

    The smell of blood hit you immediately. You ate well, and certainly ate enough, but your vampire instincts would always call for blood. So upon smelling food your fangs came out, a part of you wanting to go over there and get a taste. You held yourself back though, not wanting to intrude on whatever Juyeon had going on. You would have snuck back to your room, but Juyeon had sensed your presence, maybe caught your scent too, and glanced over at you, fresh blood staining his lips. His words certainly caught you off guard.

“Mommy?”

    You choked on air a bit, wanting to believe you had heard wrong, but with super hearing like yours, it was highly unlikely. Still, you felt exposed having been caught spying, and felt the need to apologize.

“Uh… sorry I… I… I didn’t mean to bother you… just heard noises… I… I’ll leave you to it.”

“Do you want one?”

“What?”

“I don’t mind sharing.” Juyeon took the hand of the one he hadn’t bitten, bringing them over to you. “Here. This one is for you.”

“Uh…”

“Drinking fresh blood is the best.”

    Juyeon shoved the human forward, and they seemed more than happy to offer themselves up. Even exposing their neck and giving you a welcoming smile. As much as you might have wanted to decline, now that they were so close you could hear the blood running through their veins. It was hard to resist, and your fangs were already present. You took a step closer, letting your own desires guide you to sink your teeth into their neck. Sweet blood flowed into your mouth, so warm and delicious that you let yourself get lost in it. You weren’t aware of Juyeon watching, licking his own lips and wanting to join you.

    He didn’t say anything about it either, merely stepping closer, and then sinking his own fangs into the persons shoulder. The blood was delicious, but it tasted better knowing he was sharing with you. Of course a person wouldn’t last long if two vampires were latched onto them, but it was still something to be enjoyed. You didn’t realize Juyeon had joined you, not paying attention to anything but the need to continue drinking. You remained like that until you were interrupted. Another boy had returned home, all alone, and stumbled upon quite a sight. They weren’t too happy about it.

“Ya! Why do you get to share with her!”

    Chanhee immediately ripped Juyeon away, yanking the human away from you in the process. They collapsed to the floor from blood loss, and you were left to come back to your senses. While you came down from your high the two boys had quickly gotten into a fight, baring their fangs and hissing.

“What the hell is wrong with you!” Juyeon yelled. 

“Me? Who said you could privately share a meal with mom!”

“At least I brought back some food to share! What about you then?!”

    Chanhee snarled and attacked Juyeon, tackling him to the ground. The two rolled around on the floor trying to pin each other down, growling and digging their claws into one another. They kept at it until you suddenly screamed. Once the haze of blood drinking had settled your eyes wandered over to the body on the floor. You could barely hear a heartbeat and that terrified you. A scream ripped from your throat and you collapsed to the ground. Tears started to build up, and you felt like a monster.

“I… I…”

“Mom?” Juyeon wondered. “What’s wrong?”

    Everything around you was fading away, the voices becoming muffled and your sole focus becoming the human on the floor with their slow heartbeat. You felt like you couldn’t breathe, thinking you were about to be sick when Sangyeon was suddenly in your field of view, drawing your attention.

“Hey, hey, what happened? What’s wrong, love?”

“I… I killed…”

“What?”

    Sangyeon looked around and noticed the human on the floor with two bite marks, as well as the other just standing around, clearly dazed.

“No, no, baby, they’re not dead. You didn’t kill anyone, I promise.”

“But… but…”

“Sh, it’s okay, it’s okay, you didn’t hurt anyone.”

    Sangyeon pulled you into his arms, cradling your head and trying to call you down. He growled at the others gesturing for them to get the humans out of here. They scrambled to listen, all of them having been distraught over seeing you in tears. After a moment Sangyeon picked you up and took you to the kitchen, helping you clean off. You began to settle down there.

“I…”

“We don’t kill people. I wouldn’t leave a trail of bodies to attract the attention of hunters. No one died tonight.”

“I lost control though…”

“No you didn’t, someone just decided to join you and that makes things dangerous.”

“Still…”

“You didn’t hurt anyone. Everything’s okay, I swear.”

    You were still sniffling, trusting in Sangyeon’s words, but that didn’t make the fear and panic go away easily.

“So when you said they go out hunting... for food… you meant…”

“Yes. There’s quite a lot of us, so we need a lot of blood. The boys usually go off hunting to feed at night, but I do also need to gather food for you.”

“… you... drain people…”

“I don’t kill anyone. None of us do.”

“…”

“Why don’t you get some sleep, baby.” Sangyeon suggested. “A lot’s happened and some rest would do you good.”

“Yeah... yeah that’s not a bad idea…”

    Sangyeon finished cleaning you up then took your hand and led you back to the bedroom. He joined you in bed, pulling you into his arms and holding you close. He hummed softly, gently rubbing your back and lulling you to sleep. Once he was sure you’d be alright he snuck away and found the rest of the boys gathered around in the living room area.

“Juyeon, Chanhee, get up.” He ordered. “What the hell happened?”

“It was Juyeon’s fault.” Chanhee admitted.

“Ya! I didn’t do anything!”

“You made mom cry!”

“Mom?” Sangyeon questioned. “That’s not important right now. Someone better start talking.”

“Juyeon came back early and brought two humans with him. I saw him and followed him home because you said we shouldn’t do that.”

“Correct.”

“And when I got here I saw him sharing a meal with mom.”

“And your jealous ass had to pull me away and startle her!” Juyeon retaliated. “This is all your fault!”

    The two started baring their fangs and growling at each other before Sangyeon let out a low roar to shut them up. They both whimpered and lowered their heads.

“We don’t bring people home.” Sangyeon reminded. “Especially not with y/n here.”

“I just wanted to make sure she ate…” Juyeon mumbled.

“What?”

“She doesn’t go out hunting with us... I wanted to bring her back something to eat…”

“Juyeon-”

“Is she okay?”

Sangyeon sighed. “Yes. I cleaned her up and put her to bed.”

“She doesn’t like us much… does she?” Haknyeon said. “She’s never around…”

“That’s not true. She’s still getting used to everything. Especially having a pack that actually cares for her.”

“But she was in a pack.” Sunwoo stated. “She was married and mated too.”

“Those mutts were not her pack, we are and I’m her mate. A pack wouldn’t isolate you, and only care for you when it was convenient for them.”

“Were they really that bad to her?”

“That’s all a story for another time. She doesn’t hate you, she’s just not used to all this, but she’s getting there. I promise.”

    As much as Sangyeon would want to scold them over the nights events, he couldn’t really blame them. He was more worried about you and how you would take this going forward. He hoped for the best, but he expected trouble, and that’s what he got. The day after you were pretty quiet, and he could sense you were still stressed. He offered comfort without bringing up the topic, but he was well aware that you didn’t have an appetite. He let it slide for a day, but when you straight up refused to eat he knew he had to change things.

“Y/n-”

“I’m fine.”

“You say that now, but you can’t just stop eating. Blood is your primary food source. Starving yourself won’t go well.”

“I can’t… I don’t want to…”

“Why?”

“You just… you just go out there and drain people…”

“I told you we-”

“Don’t kill, but that doesn’t change the way you go about this…”

“What else would you have me do? We need blood to survive, you need it too. I won’t let you starve yourself just because you aren’t happy with how we get it, so please, tell me, what can I do to make this better?”

“…”

“Y/n, this isn’t healthy, and you’ll worry the whole pack if they find out you’re not eating.”

“Tell me what happened…”

“What?”

“That day… these last couple years… tell me the truth.”

“Y/n… why now?”

“Please. There’s so much I don’t understand about you or this pack. I lost you when I was barely getting to know you… and when you miraculously came back years later as a hybrid with your own pack… I couldn’t believe it, I still can’t…”

“You already blame yourself for that day… I don’t want you to feel even more guilt about it…”

“But I want to know, I have to. We’ve got forever now, don’t we? You have to tell me at some point.”

“Alright.” Sangyeon pet your head. “Promise me you won’t blame yourself for what happened.”

“I’ll try.”

“And you will eat afterwards.”

“Promise.”

🖤

“We’ll play together again, I promise.”

“Sangyeon…”

    The fear on your face was very clear, which was all the more reason to protect you. It was Sangyeon’s duty, and he would fulfill it. He told you to run once he drew the hunters away, and made sure you understood what you had to do. He didn’t want to leave you alone either, but this was his way of keeping you safe. Sangyeon gave you a reassuring smile before running off, purposely making noise and drawing attention to him so you could get away. He kept running without looking back, believing he could out run these hunters and hide only to wind up right in their trap.

    He wasn’t really looking where he was running, stepping into a net that lifted him up into the air and wrapped him up tightly. He was immediately constrained and found himself in an uncomfortable position with no real way to move around and free himself. Even though he was the one trapped he was worried about you, hoping you hadn’t gotten caught like him. Sangyeon did try to free himself, but ultimately failed, and eventually the hunters found him. They seemed proud of themselves for their catch, cutting him down, but keeping him trapped in the net. They dragged him along the ground, throwing him into the darkness of a crate, and taking him away.

    His situation was terrifying, but he took comfort in knowing it was only him who had been captured, and you were back with the pack and safe. While in the dark he did manage to free himself of the net, but he was still caged, so it didn’t do him much good. He waited patiently to see where he was being taken, trying to think of the best way to escape and get back home, back to you. He was so young and barely had any power of his own, but he never gave up hope. It was probably a foolish thing to do, but with no concept of time, it was rather easy to keep his belief that one day he would escape, especially once it became apparent the hunters weren’t going to simply kill him. That was both a blessing and a curse.

    After being in the dark for who knows how long he found himself somewhere very bright, and empty. He was completely alone, and surrounded by solid white walls. The lights from above were blinding, but he wasn’t bothered by it all that much. As he tried to make sense of this place a strange smell began to fill the room and knocked him out. After that he only regained consciousness for moments at a time, excruciating pain overwhelming him before his body completely shut down again. He didn’t know how long that went on for before he was returned to the white room. It took a while before he was able to take everything in, processing the lingering aches, and seeing how messed up his body was.

    His healing factor wasn’t fully developed, so he had lingering puncture wounds from needles, countless cuts decorating his skin, and dried blood all over his torn up clothes. He felt so weak, like he was dying, but he had to stay strong. One day he’d get his chance, and it really did seem possible. Now he had a collar around his neck that would electrocute him to keep from getting violent with his captors, but they still took him back and forth between his cell and some type of facility. There were all kinds of unfamiliar equipment and tools around him. He was quite afraid, but he did his best to hide that. He paid attention to his surroundings, trying to make out all the doors around him, and the possibility of them leading to an exit.

    As time went on he felt himself getting stronger, forming a better plan to escape. He thought for sure it would work, that is until he found himself in a new confinement. He had been dragged over for more experiments. He expected the usual torture, but instead he came across a lot of blood. He could immediately tell it wasn’t human, and when he noticed someone holding a needle of it, he began to panic. He struggled desperately in his restraints, but they were strong, and he was certainly still exhausted from yesterday’s experiments. He didn’t want this substance in his system, but he couldn’t stop them, only watched as one needle of blood after the other was emptied into him.

    He didn’t feel anything at first, and then slowly began to feel this power growing inside him. It felt good, and he thought perhaps he’d have the strength to fight off his captors, but then there was another needle in his arm. This one wasn’t full of blood, but something else entirely. Whatever it was quickly took effect, making him scream and thrash around like never before. He actually broke his restraints and fell to the floor, but once he stood he immediately felt dizzy. He was growling and snarling, losing his vision and stumbling around until he collapsed to the floor. Darkness overtook him, although things felt different this time around. Still, he couldn’t do anything but fade to black.

    When Sangyeon regained consciousness he took in a deep breath, feeling as if he had been deprived of air. He was back in his cage, but things were different, he felt different. For starters his throat was incredibly dry, and his senses were all overwhelming him. The sound of the lights buzzing was incredibly loud and his own footsteps seemed to echo loudly in his ears too. It took a while to stabilize himself, trying to process everything. He could vaguely recall what had been done to him last, and as he was trying to remember a blood bag was suddenly tossed into his room from a hidden compartment. His body immediately acted and went for the blood bag, ripping into it and drinking its contents.

    Afterwards he could process, realizing what he had just done, and that he liked the taste. Sangyeon reached up to touch his fangs, poking his finger with one of them and seeing the drop of blood bloom. He wanted to throw the blood up, to wake up from this nightmare, but he had plenty of those since he was taken captive, and this certainly didn’t feel like one. He was still a wolf, he could feel that, he knew that, but he couldn’t deny his vampire tendencies either. He stared down at himself in disbelief, in horror. This couldn’t be possible, and yet here he was, an abomination, a real monster.

    Now he wasn’t sure he’d be able to go home, or that he should. Although the choice was certainly taken out of his hands. By now he had no idea how much time had passed, but he had his claws and canines now, and with this new power he was all the more dangerous, so they properly locked him up. Sangyeon wound up in some type of containment unit, hands chained above his head and held away from him. His ankles were chained to the ground, and the collar remained, now with a chain connected to a wall. The position was certainly uncomfortable and left him exposed but that wasn’t the worst of it. This strange device was placed on his face, hooking into the gums of his mouth. It was painful and he had no idea what it was at first, overtime coming to realize this thing was literally extracting the venom from his bite. It was poisonous to vampires and could be a powerful weapon for hunters. They never took it off, resorting to an IV drip and occasionally feeding him blood through a tube.

    Any idea of escape seemed impossible now, and he was actually giving up on it too. He was insanely restrained, and he knew he wasn’t at full strength either. Along with all that the agony of the new experiments certainly made it hard to do anything but breath. Then again, given what he had become, he wasn’t entirely sure he could go home, that he could face you now that he was a true monster. These hunters weren’t going to kill him anytime soon, and he felt more like a living corpse. Time passed without any real meaning. He was alone and kept alive for a purpose that was not of his choosing. He thought that’s how things would remain until one day he was introduced to three other wolves. 

“Where am I? What is this place!”

    They all seemed so young, maybe around his age too. They were scared and confused, and when they noticed him on the other side of the glass they rushed over, begging for help and answers. He wished he could tell them to be strong and fight, to escape this place by any means necessary, but with his confinements he could do nothing but gaze upon them in despair. Moments later the IV was removed and the hunters began to draw blood from him, a lot, and he realized what they were going to do. For once he tried to fight, not wanting his fate to befall others, but he was truly helpless in his restraints.

    He watched as the other wolves were knocked out and then given his blood. Now he knew how he had been turned, watching as the boys were poisoned. He felt their deaths, wishing to rip apart all the hunters for this. Although he was grateful to see them come back to life. Even if what had been done to them was horrific, he felt less lonely, not just because he wasn’t the only prisoner anymore, but because they were like him, hybrids. They weren’t the only ones either, over time other wolves were brought in and turned into hybrids too. He didn’t know why the hunters were doing this, until he saw it for himself.

    It was a strange situation to wake up to. All the boys were on their knees and collared, even had tags on their ears like cattle, he probably had one too he hadn’t noticed. One of the hunters was yelling at them to behave themselves and follow orders. If they disobeyed there would be consequences. Sangyeon thought he was about to witness them get hurt, instead he was the one who felt excruciating pain. His collar going off after so many months, and clearly at a new voltage. All the boys growled and attempted to make a move, but it just got them electrocuted, Sangyeon as well. That’s when it all finally clicked. He was their sire. His blood had been used to turn them, and beyond that, they had all come to recognize him as their alpha. His pain was theirs, and they didn’t want him getting hurt because of them.

    It still took a while before he came to learn what was going on. The boys would occasionally see him, a reminder that their sire/alpha was being held captive, and if they stepped out of line he’d get hurt. Sometimes he saw them covered in blood, and he could see that they were getting stronger. It wasn’t until one day he overheard the hunters talking about the boys, letting him know that they had been training them, using them as hunting dogs. He couldn’t let this continue. They were all being exploited, and Sangyeon felt the most responsible for it. He may have given up on escaping, but they gave him a new purpose. So he began to devise a plan.

    Sangyeon couldn’t really speak because of the device in his mouth, and he was always separated from the rest of the boys, so the hunters never worried about him being able to command them through the sire bond. He didn’t know much about it anyway, but there was something that had been overlooked. He may be their sire in terms of vampire nature, but he was also their alpha, and that was a whole other set of rules. Even if he couldn’t speak, he did have the ability to growl and roar. That’s how he started, simply testing his limitations. On occasion he’d growl and tug on his restraints to make the hunters know he was displeased, but they tended to laugh it off since they knew he couldn’t escape on his own.

    He managed to normalize that enough that they’d pay his actions no mind at all, and that’s when he began the next step. Every now and then when the boys would be in the other room he’d growl or release a low roar, seeing the reaction he’d gauge from them. It took a bit of trial and error, figuring out exactly how loud he needed to be, but despite separation, he realized they could in fact hear him. They seemed happy about the realization too, but understood to keep this hidden and not draw attention to it. Now it was a matter of saving his strength and picking the right moment.

    It wasn’t often that all the boys were gathered together in the room next door. The hunters had the right idea not to allow that, but on occasion they would do so anyway. That was his moment to strike. At best he understood he would only really have one chance, and he couldn’t waste it. For his sake, and for all of them. Even if he knew so little about vampires, he knew one thing for sure. The blood of the sire could provide great power. Sangyeon took a deep breath, hoping his actions would not be in vain. He waited for a moment when the number of hunters around him was low before he braced himself for the first real roar of his life.

    His actions actually startled the hunters, but this wasn’t for them. It was a call to action, an order, his boys, his pack, would not refuse. Even if it didn’t make sense, in the moment they just acted. All ten of the boys roared and bared their canines, running up to the glass and with their combined efforts breaking through. The hunters immediately began to panic, clearly outnumbered and overpowered. Some of the boys attacked the hunters, ripping into their throats and clawing them open, getting revenge for all the pain they caused. The rest went straight for Sangyeon, ripping him out of his restraints and then sinking their fangs into any bit of exposed skin they could get to.

    They each had a mouthful or two, howling with blood dripping down their face, hunger and new power coursing through their veins. Sangyeon held his tongue, unable to think clearly as his pack drained him. He wasn’t strong to begin with, but he hoped to give his pack the power to fight. The last he remembered seeing were the lights turning red and the sirens going off before he blacked out. He had no idea how much time had passed, but he groggily awoke to the taste of blood on his lips. The sweet taste gave him some strength, his fangs appearing and a wrist being presented for him to bite into. With every mouthful he got stronger, sitting up and glancing over to see the body he was feeding off. A hunter clawed up but alive enough for him to feed off, that is until he drained them.

    He growled as he pulled his fangs away, taking in a deep breath. He took in his surroundings, seeing the bodies laid out before him, barely alive, and jumping on the nearest one to feed off. Little by little he was regaining his strength and so much more. When he heard footsteps approaching he snarled, more than ready to strike only to see two boys dragging some bodies into the room. They were glad to see he was awake and feeding off what they had brought over. Sangyeon was also happy to see they were alive, blood staining their lips and clothes too. Eventually all the others gathered around, assuring him they were all okay.

“We need to get out of here.”

“Where would we go?”

“I have an idea…” Sangyeon ripped the tag off his ear, looking it over before tossing it aside. “But for now we go anywhere else.”

    Despite drinking plenty of blood, Sangyeon still had a lot of recovering to do. He hadn’t used his legs in who knows how long. Two others had no problem helping him out, all of the others discarding their own tags and escaping that place, not caring about the bodies they left behind. For a moment Sangyeon feared the sunlight would hurt them and they’d have to wait until nightfall, but it turned out to be harmless. Perhaps a benefit of being a hybrid, but it gave them the chance to flee. Along the way they didn’t run into anyone else, but they were traveling with no destination in mind. As the sun began to go down Sangyeon knew he needed to find a place to stay.

    They all found a river to rest by, and clean up a bit. Sangyeon tried to get his feet under him, but he wasn’t quite there yet. The sun was nearly gone by the time they got back on the road, Sangyeon still needing assistance. By the time they found a place to properly rest it was well into the night. Some went off to find firewood while others explored this abandoned building, seeing if there was anything of use. The excessive amount of mattresses would at least give them somewhere soft to rest, unlike the cold cement floor they had gotten used to. Now was the time Sangyeon could finally get to know them, putting names to faces and finding out how they ended up like him.

    Some had been abandoned by their own packs, out all alone when they had been taken. Others kidnapped like he had been, and some were the only ones left of their previous pack. All they really had now was each other, and they all seemed to be alright with that. Soon enough they found the nearby towns, giving them access to food, and managing to get some other necessities. Took a lot of practice and some mess ups before they got the hang of compulsion, making their lives much easier. Even though they were doing alright, Sangyeon had a promise to keep. So he told the others that when he was well enough they’d come with him back to his pack, and they’d have a proper place to call home. They all seemed happy with the idea, and Sangyeon really wanted to go home. Although he had no idea what awaited him after all these years.

🖤

“Sangyeon…”

    You couldn’t help the tears running down your cheeks. Sangyeon found them endearing, gently reaching over to wipe them away.

“I’m alright. I’m here now. Everything’s okay.”

“All those years… I thought… I thought…”

“Sh, you don’t need to think like that.”

“I’m so sorry…”

“None of this is your fault.”

    You cried for a while before you calmed yourself. You did feel guilty, but you had promised Sangyeon you wouldn’t let that swallow you up, so you stayed strong. He was here with you now, and that’s what mattered.

“You went through so much… all of you did…”

“It made us stronger in the end.”

“But why… what’s with the silver fangs?”

“I didn’t know about them at first. I’m not entirely sure, but considering they were constantly draining venom from me, and my boys were used as hunting dogs. They must have done that so our teeth wouldn’t break so easily under the stress they put us under. No real idea how or when they did it. Why? They’re pretty cool, aren’t they?”

“They’re unique.”

“Alright. I’ve told you the truth. Now you have to hold up your end of the deal and eat.”

“…”

“Y/n, we agreed.”

“I know… I just…”

“If I could feed all of you with my own blood, I would, but there’s not that much of me to go around. So you need to eat.”

“But…”

“If there was another way to get food, believe me, I would, but it’s not like I can just go to a blood bank and get what we need.”

“Actually…”

“What?”

“That is… a thing…”

“What is? Blood banks?” You nodded your head. “You’re joking right?”

“No… that’s how vampires get their food without harming humans and attracting the attention of hunters.”

“That sounds so fake.”

“I know. I didn’t believe it either, but it was all something I learned growing up.”

“You still did all the studying of a pack alpha even though you gave up the title.”

“I had a lot of free time on my hands…”

“Alright. I suppose we could do things your way.”

“There’s just one problem.”

“What?”

“Us.”

“Us?”

“We’re… we’re not something that’s supposed to exist… right now no one knows about us, about what we are, but if word gets out… we’d attract a lot of attention from both the humans and supernaturals…”

“Then what do you suggest we do?”

“I… I think I know of a place we could go… and possibly get some help…”

“Okay, pack trip then, should be fun.”

    The idea of changing how you got food certainly raised some questions, but the boys were all eager to see you around and taking charge. As the mate of their alpha should. You were anxious though, doing everything based on a theory with no real idea if this would work, but you had to try. That night you had the whole pack come with you.

“So…” Eric wondered. “Where are we going?”

“A club.”

“… why?”

“It’s a vampire club.”

“What! That’s a thing?”

“Yeah.”

    Your words stirred up excitement, but Sangyeon was rightfully concerned. It would be a rather dangerous place for them to go, so he made sure to tell the boys they had to behave. If they didn’t, he swore they’d be in big trouble.

“How can a vampire club exist?”

“Many tend to be underground.” You explained. “And humans don’t really know about them. It’s a whole thing really, but it works.”

“And we’re supposed to get help there?” Sangyeon questioned.

“That’s the idea.”

    You led them all down into the sewers, which certainly didn’t sound nice, but it was necessary. They thought they’d wind up in some filthy type of place, but were surprised to see that the underground passage you took them too was far from dirty. It was more of a proper tunnel, lined with metal and low lights, leading off into a void. There were a multitude of other tunnels leading elsewhere, which made it seem like it would be easy to get lost, but as long as one followed the smell of blood, they’d find their way. Soon enough they noticed red lights off into the distance, coming upon metal double doors, and a sign.

“Asinis?”

“It’s the name of the club.” You explained. “It means blood.”

“Very original… I guess.”

    You took a moment and then knocked on the door. A disembodied voice suddenly spoke, asking for a password. You looked around for a moment and then found the camera off to the side. You bore your fangs in its direction. After a moment a compartment in the wall opened up and revealed a needle. You pricked your finger on it, blood sliding down, then the needle disappeared. As you understood, one had to prove they were a vampire before being allowed in, that was how you got into these types of places, and you were correct. Eventually the doors swung open, the subtle smell of blood becoming much more prominent, and music beginning to fill your ears. It all sent a rush of excitement through the boys, but you kept your head. You walked in, remaining together, and taking in the sight before you.

    The main entrance led straight onto the dance floor. The loud music made the whole place shake, and you could see vampires dancing in the crowds, some even feeding off humans too. Of course there were drinks and tables to rest at, but you weren’t here to have fun. You wanted to speak to the owner, perhaps strike a deal. It wouldn’t be easy, but you underestimated how complicated things would get. You weren’t there for long when what you presumed to be security approached you. One of the gentlemen made a move to grab you, but Sangyeon was quick to stop them, growling and flashing his eyes.

“As I thought. A bunch of dogs snuck into our place.” The vampire hissed. “Now get lost, we don’t serve your kind here.”

“My kind?” Sangyeon scoffed. “You haven’t met my kind before.”

“What did you say?”

“Sangyeon.” You stepped in front of Sangyeon, grabbing his arm. “We’re not here to cause trouble.”

“They started it. We just-”

“Sangyeon, this place is full of blood and vampires, only part of us fits in here, meaning our wolf side noticeably stands out. Besides that our mating marks are mostly visible. You know vampires and werewolves don’t exactly get along. So calm down.”

“Listen to the little bitch here. She’s got the right idea.”

    Sangyeon roared, now attracting more attention, but you stood your ground. You roared right back at him and showed your own red eyes. You had never done that before, but in the moment, you had to protect him, even from himself, and protect the pack, your pack. He remained at odds with you for a moment before calming down and letting go of the vampire. You took a moment to compose yourself too before turning around.

“We don’t want trouble. We just want to talk to the owner.”

“And if we refuse?”

“Then we’ll go to a competitor, and you’ll forever regret turning us away.”

The vampire scoffed. “We’ll take our chances. So fuck off.”

    You weren’t going to argue and cause more trouble, there were already so many eyes on you. There were plenty of other places to go, so you wouldn’t give up on your plan just yet. As you made a move to leave, someone else spoke up, grabbing your attention. Another gentleman had made his way to the front of the security crowd, looking you up and down.

“Why do you want to speak to the owner?”

“I have a proposition for them.” You explained. “One they’d be foolish to pass on.”

“Hm…”

“You can’t seriously be-”

“Quite, Mingi.” The gentleman stepped towards you, forcing you to hold a hand out to keep Sangyeon back. “You seem very interesting, so I’ll indulge you and your little request. I sure hope it’s worth my time.”

“Are you-”

“Come now.”

    The gentleman started walking off, the other vampires stepping aside to let them pass. They didn’t move though, meaning they were waiting on you to follow, which you quickly did. You were led up to the second floor of the club, where private rooms were, and taken over to the side which seemed to be the owners office. As you stepped in you noticed a vampire at the main desk, looking at a computer screen. They paid you no attention until your scent hit, then they were very curious.

“Seonghwa, what is this?”

“Something interesting. This little wolf here wanted to talk to you. She has a proposition she says you’d be a fool to pass on.”

“Is that so?” The owner got up and poured themselves a drink. “Well then, you better get straight to your point my darling, I’m not a fan of having dogs in my place.”

“That’s my first point. I’m not just a werewolf.”

“You’re not?”

“I’m a hybrid. One of twelve in existence, as far as I know.”

“A hybrid?”

“Half wolf, half vampire. How exactly do you think we got in? Vampire clubs are known to have good security. A werewolf can’t just waltz in so easily.”

“Hm… and how exactly can you prove that?”

“My scent alone can speak for itself.”

“Come here then.”

    The owner held a hand out to you. Sangyeon didn’t like the idea, but you gave him a reassuring look, stepping towards the owner. Even if there were a total of eight vampires in the room, you and your pack still outnumbered them, so there was no need to be so worried. You took the owner’s hand and immediately got pulled closer. They buried their face in the crook of your neck, breathing you in for a moment before stepping away. You could tell Sangyeon was tense by the whole ordeal but he was putting his trust in you.

“An interesting scent indeed, but there is a better way to confirm your true nature.”

“What do you mean?”

“A taste.”

“No.” Sangyeon stated. 

“Sangyeon.” You glared back at him for a moment. “You are a vampire, so you know blood.”

“I do.”

    You offered up your wrist, watching as he took in another deep breath of your scent and then sank his fangs in. A low growl escaped Sangyeon’s lips, but he remained where he was. After a mouthful the owner pulled away, licking their lips.

“A unique taste indeed. How is it that such a creature like you exists.”

“We’re not here to talk about me, but an opportunity for you.”

“Yes, of course. Why don’t you have a seat, and let’s see what you have to offer.” The owner sat back down at their desk. “The name’s Hongjoong by the way.”

“Y/n, and this is my mate Sangyeon, and my pack.”

    The boys all seemed to perk up by your words, but kept themselves quiet. You sat down with Sangyeon at your side, the others quietly gathered around you. Sangyeon immediately grabbed your wrists and started kissing it, wanting Hongjoong’s scent gone. You could sense he was worried and wanted to ask what you were doing, but he was keeping it to himself to see where you would go. You gave him a reassuring look, and offered him a small smile over his actions. You had to remain serious for this.

“Now, you say I’d be a fool to pass up your offer.” Hongjoong said. “So what is it that you are offering me?”

“A partnership.”

“Partnership?”

“Your territory is vast, and I’m sure you handle things just fine, but it wouldn’t hurt to have great power on your side.”

“And that would be you?”

“My kind is powerful beyond your imagination, and far from easy to kill. Besides that, our venom is all the more deadly to your kind.”

“I’ve seen what a werewolf bite can do to someone like me, and you’re saying you can do worse?”

“I’m more than happy to demonstrate.”

“Seonghwa.”

“Hm?”

“Go find me a volunteer, please.”

“Of course.”

“So, hypothetically speaking. If this partnership were to happen, what is it that you want?”

“Blood.”

“Is that so?”

“I am part vampire, and need to feed like the rest of you. As you can see I have a whole pack, and given what I am, I can’t just walk into a blood bank.”

“You don’t wish to expose your existence to others?”

“As if you aren’t nervous having us here. We’re something new, perhaps an abomination. Our existence goes against nature and balance, I don’t want unnecessary trouble. Which is why I need a stable and peaceful source of blood that doesn’t involve us going out to hunt.”

“I see. My club has a steady flow of blood coming in, and you want a cut of that.”

“Yes.” 

“So this partnership is more like your life line.”

“If you don’t want to cooperate with me, I’m sure I can find someone who does.”

“That’s not what I’m getting at, little wolf. I’m just trying to see how this actually benefits me.”

“What is it that you want?”

“Well, I must admit. If your venom is as dangerous as you say, it wouldn’t hurt to have some for myself to use as I please.”

“Absolutely not.” Sangyeon growled. “We won’t give-”

“Sangyeon.”

    You took Sangyeon’s hand and looked him in the eye. You knew where he was coming from. For years of his life he was hooked up to a machine that just extracted his venom. He wouldn’t want anyone else ever going through that process. You understood that, but you also needed all of you to have a way to survive that wouldn’t be putting you at risk. Everything was still up for negotiation, so you were asking him to be patient and trust you.

“Your request can be considered.” You stated. “Is there anything else you want to put on the table?”

“In fact there is. Your blood.”

“My blood?”

“The blood of a hybrid is a very unique taste. As you’ve said, the only source exists in this very room right now. If my club were to offer such a rare delicacy, well, the profits would increase dramatically. Thus you can be provided with proper compensation.”

“Speaking of compensation. Blood isn’t all I would need from you. If we provide for your club in such a manner I think it’s only fair we get a cut of the actual profits. A good percentage at least.”

“Now this sounds more like business. Trading in blood and money. What would you need with money?”

“What I do isn’t entirely your concern is it? And if I give you my venom, what you do with it I wouldn’t question.”

“Hm, fair point.” Hongjoong took a sip of his drink. “While we’re still putting things on the table. Is there anything else you’d like to bring up?”

“I want a room.”

“A room?”

“Yes. One of your VIP rooms. If we’re to work together, I think it’s only fair that my boys and I can enjoy what your club has to offer. It would also give you a good space to collect blood, and maybe other things.”

“Hm…”

    Before the conversation could continue, Seonghwa returned with someone in tow. The vampire was trying to explain themselves and apologize but they wound up getting shoved onto the ground before Hongjoong’s desk. They had yet to notice you, simply getting on their knees and begging Hongjoong for forgiveness.

“I don’t mean to cause trouble. I was just having fun and-”

“So, who’s going to do it?” Hongjoong asked, looking at you. “He’s your volunteer.”

“I’ll do it.” Haknyeon offered. 

    You gave Haknyeon your approval, and he walked over to the vampire. That was when the smell of wolves finally registered for them, and now they were very nervous. They crawled back for a moment, starting to mumble more apologies, making all kinds of promises so they would be spared.

“Hold him.” You ordered.

    Kevin and Jacob went over and grabbed the vampire, holding out their arm as Haknyeon dug his teeth into them. A loud scream was ripped from the vampire’s throat. They were released once it was done, Haknyeon licking the blood off his lips. Usually the venom of a werewolf would work slowly, giving the victim some time before signs of deterioration begin to show. In a matter of minutes the vampire was seizing on the floor, already far closer to death than one would think.

“Fascinating.” Hongjoong said. “Deadly, and painful, with no mercy. I like it. Seonghwa.”

“Hm?”

“Is VIP room one currently occupied?”

“No.”

“From now on that room belongs to our new friends, and no one else. Understood?”

“Yes.”

“If you’d like, your pack can enjoy what Asinis has to offer as you and I discuss the finer details of our partnership.”

“I’m alright with that.”

    It was a dangerous idea to let the boys go off, but you wanted to show trust, and expected to receive it in return. Besides, all of this was for the sake of getting food without putting yourself or others in danger. The boys were all excited about getting to enjoy themselves at such a club, and you trusted they’d behave. One of Hondjoong’s men escorted them out, and Sangyeon went with, but he said he would return. Hongjoong got you a drink as well, moving over to sit across from you.

“A hybrid, very interesting. The power you possess must be incredible.”

“I’m not trying to make a big show of myself.”

“But you are intriguing. I’m glad to know you’ve chosen me to be your partner. Although I must ask, where does your pack reside? Without a proper place to call your own, you might still find trouble.”

“My pack has made no man’s land our home. I know no one bothers with the area, so we’re fine.”

“Hm… true. Although I could provide a bit of help with that.”

“What?”

“I could acquire the land you call home, keeping it under my name to make sure it’s left untouched. Now don’t get me wrong, I have no intention of owning you or making you an enemy, just wanting to provide more security with your home.”

“In exchange for what? Nothing comes free.”

“A guarantee I get to have your venom.”

“Do you even have the means of extraction?”

“It wouldn’t be hard to acquire. I understand your mate was very much against the idea, but you seem to be in charge.”

“I am merely doing what is best for my pack, and I make my decisions with him.”

“You’ve been making all the moves tonight. Solo.”

“A demonstration of trust.”

“Hm. I’m just offering up my help, a mutual pact of protection works best. I get my own personal hunting dogs and you get to keep your pack safe from everything else that would wish to do you harm.”

“And you think I’d be so sure to trust you’d never betray us?”

“Believe me when I say this, I do not wish to make you my enemy, little wolf. Good things can come from our partnership, and I’d be a fool to ruin it.”

    You both talked over drinks, properly drafting up a contract so no one took advantage of the other. Sangyeon eventually returned, telling you the others were having fun and wouldn’t cause trouble. Things were going well overall until the discussion of venom came up. Again Sangyeon stated he was against it.

“Sangyeon, I never said you’d be the one giving it.”

“You’re not doing it either.”

“I can do what I want with my body. I understand it’s not a comfortable procedure, but I can do whatever is necessary for my pack.”

“Y/n-”

“Please don’t argue with me about this. I’m not doing this for free. This is a partnership, give and take, not me being forced into something.”

    You knew Sangyeon was never going to be happy over this, but for now he’d yield. Both sides came to a fair arrangement, already figuring out how to start things. As of now Hongjoong did have the means to draw blood, and you had no problem giving some now. You went with Sangyeon to the VIP room, the smell of blood hitting you immediately. They boys had drinks, and a few humans hanging around with them. You didn’t have to worry about things going far, knowing the humans that were in these places were well cared for, and hurting one will get you thrown out, or worse, killed. When the boys saw you they began howling and cheering.

“Look at mom go!” Sunwoo cheered. “This is awesome!”

“I told you guys to stop calling her mom.” Sangyeon stated. “It’s embarrassing.”

“But she is pack mom…”

“That doesn’t-”

“It’s funny.” You interrupted. “A bit weird, but I don’t have that much of a problem with it.”

“See.” Changmin added. “You’re dad, and she’s mom, you’re both mated, so it makes sense.”

“You guys are all ridiculous.” Sangyeon rolled his eyes. “I need a drink.”

“Yeah, let’s party tonight!”

“How did it all go?” Juyeon asked. “We good?”

“Yes.” You assured. “We’ll rotate in regards to giving blood, and I will also be giving venom.”

“What? Just you?”

“I’m not going to-”

“I’ll do that.” Sangyeon cut in. “I’ll be the one giving venom.”

“Sangyeon, we already talked about this. I said-”

“I’ll do it. You’re crazy if you think I’d let you, or any of them, go through that.”

“You’ve suffered enough for that. Let me take on the burden-”

“You said this was for the benefit of the pack, I can do anything for them.”

“Sangyeon.”

“I’m used to it, so it’ll be easier if I do it anyway.”

“That is not what we agreed to.”

“They’ll take our venom regardless of who gives it.”

“Sangyeon!”

“Mommy and daddy are fighting.” Eric mumbled. “Awkward.”

“We’re not fighting.” You said. “Just a minor disagreement. We’ll talk about this later.”

“That’s fine. Besides, tonight is cause for celebration. Your mothers…” Sangyeon took a moment, ignoring the giggles. “Y/n has done a lot for us, something I didn’t think to do for you, so, to y/n.”

“To y/n!”

    You were shy over their praises, but you were just glad that things had worked out this way. You had blood drawn, as did a few others, only heading home once everyone had enough and had recovered. The sun was peeking over the horizon by the time you got back home. The boys still had some energy but you retired to your room with Sangyeon. After all, the two of you still needed to discuss somethings.

“I’ll be giving venom.”

“And I said you don’t have to.”

“I won’t let you do it.” Sangyeon stated. “Any of you.”

“I don’t want you putting yourself back in that situation.”

“So you think I’m gonna stand back and watch you do it?”

“Sangyeon. You’ve suffered enough with this, let someone else take on the burden. I’m your mate, aren’t we meant to share everything?”

“Not this. It was hell for me, what kind of a mate would I be if I let you experience it?” Sangyeon took your hand. “I don’t want to do this either, but if it’s for the good of the pack, I could do anything.”

“I can’t-”

“Sh. I’ll deal with this, and I can get through it because unlike before I have you by my side this time.”

“I can do it as well, if you ever need a break.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.” Sangyeon kissed your head. “Although I do wanna ask, why did you ask for money?”

“What do you mean?”

“We don’t really need it. We just hunt, well, not anymore, but all we need is blood.”

“And the rest of you go out and compel everything else right?”

“Maybe…”

“Well a pack should be more honest. Besides, I want to properly fix up this place, make it a real home, and that requires money.”

“I see.”

“Why? Is that a problem or something?”

“No, no, I’m just amazed. The boys are right to call you mom.”

“Oh stop it.”

“You’re a good alpha, and mine.”

“You’re embarrassing me.”

“I know.” Sangyeon kissed you. “Speaking of venom… how did you know ours was more deadly?”

“Back with my old pack… I had heard rumors of vampires dying in a more painful and quick way. Everyone thought the hunters had developed some new kind of weapon, it seems I wasn’t wrong.”

“Huh… so they were using it like that…”

“No one ever figured out the cause, and it suddenly stopped, guess I wasn’t wrong.”

“Not at all.”

    You weren’t one for the club scene, so you didn’t go often unless it was your turn to provide. No pushed you to go, but the boys would always ask if you wanted to join them. Sometimes Sangyeon would go with them, and sometimes he would stay with you. They always brought blood bags home, your due payment, along with money. It was a good ordeal, and everyone was happy about it. Of course when it came to the venom, you always went so you could be with Sangyeon. He wouldn’t let any of you actually be at his side for the whole thing, but you were there to look after him when everything was done. He was quite adorable and needy, cuddling you up and not caring for all the comments from the others.

    In your spare time you’d be examining the house, and making plans of what you wanted to do. Of course this wasn’t kept a secret as you wanted input from everyone in the pack. You intended to give everyone a room, but for the most part they wanted to share with another, so you just made sure they were spacious and comfortable for two. Even if normal food wasn’t necessary you still had a kitchen and dining room set up. You were used to cooking, and you did want to cook for them at times. They were always excited for pack dinners, even slowly getting themselves in the kitchen to help. Cooking for twelve was not easy.

    You were very adamant about having a huge communal shower type thing connected to the house as well. Since the boys were no longer out hunting for food, they’d rough house a lot more out at night, especially on full moons. You did not want them dragging mud into the house, and insisted they clean up before entering. They did whine about that a bit, but ultimately complied with your wishes. Although they had a demand too, they wanted a big living room area, but had named it the den. A nice wide open space that was cozy, and also served as an indoor space to shift and stretch around. It’s why you made the halls bigger too, in case someone wanted to lounge about in wolf form all day.

    Now this place certainly felt more like a home. It felt right, like this was how things were supposed to be for you from the start. You and Sangyeon with your pack, living peacefully. As much as you loved it, there were still things that needed to be addressed. You wanted to do it on your own terms, but there were many around to take notice. Especially now that you were around the house more often, and they were getting to know you. It was a quiet night as you were unwinding, Sangyeon in his wolf form, resting his head in your lap as you ran your hands down his side, loving how soft his fur was. Chanhee made his way over to you, also in wolf form, resting his head next to your leg, looking up at you with big eyes.

“You want me to pet you too?” Chanhee whined. “Okay, okay.”

    You reached over and pet his head, scratching behind his ears. He whined happily, ultimately getting Sangyeon’s attention. He moved a bit, trying to push Chanhee away, making you laugh.

“Easy now, no need to get jealous.”

“How come we’ve never seen your wolf form?” Younghoon suddenly asked. “I bet you’re just as cute too.”

“Uh…”

“That’s true.” Hyunjae added. “What does your wolf look like?”

“I…”

“That’s enough.” Sangyeon shifted back. “That’s not something you just ask.”

“Huh?” Kevin questioned. “It was just-”

“Drop it.” Sangyeon growled. “Now.”

“Sangyeon…” You reached over and took his hand. “It’s okay… it was bound to come up eventually…”

“Is… is something wrong…” Sunwoo mumbled.

“No, it’s just me.” You explained. “I…”

“Y/n, you don’t have to do this right now.” Sangyeon said.

“I know, but I shouldn’t hide this either.”

“Is everything okay?” Eric asked. “You’re scaring me…”

“I’m okay, Eric.” You assured. “It’s just… I’ve never shifted before…”

“What?”

“It’s a long story but… I don’t really know how to shift… I barely have any control over my wolf form, but I have been trying when I’m alone…”

“Is that why you don’t go out with us on full moons?” Jacob asked.

“More or less… I kinda got my ears down, but everything else is still a struggle… I’ve had my moments, but I don’t think I can fully shift just yet.”

“We can help you!” Changmin eagerly offered. “Together we-”

“No, no, it’s alright. I’m getting there on my own. One day I’ll be able to do it, so you can all cheer me on until then.”

“We’ll look forward to it.”

    Having that out in the open made you less shy about it. There were still moments you’d lose control, your claws poking out while in the kitchen, or your ears suddenly shifting without your knowledge. You didn’t freak out, but took some time to focus and calm yourself, the others sometimes offering tips on how they do it. You felt a bit childish, like you had never actually grown up, but to a degree that was the case for you. When the next full moon came around, they didn’t ask you to join them, but assured you they’d wait for the day they could. This time though, Sangyeon stayed with you.

“Aren’t you joining them tonight?”

“I want to stay with you, and help you.”

“It’s fine. I like working on it myself.”

“And that’s not fair.”

“Huh?”

“I know you struggle with shifting because of what happened.”

“Oh…”

“Even though you’re trying, you can’t let go.”

“I really am trying…”

“I know, I just want to help reassure you that it’s not your fault.”

“…”

“It’s true. You didn’t do anything wrong that day, love.”

    You couldn’t help the silent tears that slid down your cheeks. You wouldn’t want to admit that maybe a part of you still felt guilt, and that guilt was holding you back. Once you calmed down Sangyeon brought you over to the den, the two of you sitting by the fireplace.

“I know you said you wanted to do this on your own, but I really can help. I am your alpha after all.”

“And my sire, you have power over me.”

“I would never use the sire bond on you or any of the others. Despite being vampires, I consider us to be wolves more than anything.”

“Me too.”

“So let’s see what you can really do.”

    As your alpha, Sangyeon had the power to call out to your wolf side and practically summon it. That wasn’t his intention though, to force you to shift, but be more of a guide. He’d call out to your inner wolf, letting you adjust to the sensations, and figure out control on your own terms. He was like your anchor, and you didn’t have to fear something going wrong because he was right here with you. On the nights he didn’t go out with the boys he helped you out. Now you felt like you were making better progress at a better pace. You were still nervous of course, but he helped you feel confident in your abilities. You kept at it until you thought you could do it all on your own.

“Boys… I think tonight is the night…”

    You knew the best time for your first would be on the night of a full moon, when it called to your inner wolf. The boys were all excited for you, finally able to see you as a wolf, whereas you had already seen them that way. As you headed out with the pack the boys would shift and run off, already going wild. Sangyeon held your hand and stayed with you, assuring you not to rush it and do so when you felt it was right. You walked together for a while, and at one point you stopped, looking up at the moon and letting its light wash over you. Shifting was something you never really thought you’d do, so you wanted to cherish every moment.

“Sangyeon…”

“Hm?”

“Can you go off with the others, I think I’m a little shy.”

“Alright.” Sangyeon kissed your cheek. “You got this.”

    You watched as Sangyeon shifted and ran off into the woods. You had a soft smile on your face, starting to walk about slowly. You almost felt like you were dreaming, feeling dizzy as a new power took over. It felt so smooth, the transition, how in the blink of an eye the world had suddenly changed. The shift was practically painless unlike what you had been told, perhaps a benefit of being a hybrid. You looked down at yourself, seeing the paws and fur, completely overjoyed. Once you got your footing you began to run, loving how the wind felt. You eventually came to a stop, looking up at the moon and howling for the first time. Everything felt so incredible, and then you heard some howling back. You eagerly rushed over to find the others.

    It wasn’t long before you found Sangyeon, immediately pouncing on him, and roughing him up a bit. A while later the others found you two, so happy to see your wolf form, although they noticed something odd. You appeared to be smaller than them, and just as one was about to comment on it Sangyeon growled at them. So they let it go, just enjoying the full moon and the night. Now all together you’d run around, some already starting to fight, getting out their aggression while also being playful. You wanted to join in and threw yourself into the mix. They didn’t realize until one of them had tossed you off to the side, making you crash against a tree and collapse.

“Y/n!”

    They all quickly rushed over, some even shifting back into a human. They were all asking if you were alright, others apologizing but you merely got back up and shook it off.

“What are you all apologizing for? I don’t recall having any pups in my pack.”

“Huh?”

“Is this how Sangyeon’s been raising you all? I shouldn’t be surprised, he never learned much pack ethics beyond the childish things.”

“What?”

“Come on. You think I’m some weak girl that needs protection? Did you forget who your alpha is! Let’s see who’s stronger!”

    You roared and flashed your eyes, tackling the nearest boy. The others needed a moment to process before understanding what you meant. You were their alpha, and being a girl meant nothing, so they shouldn’t be treating you any different. Besides, you were clearly all riled up, and they’d be foolish to let the energy go to waste. With that settled the night could really go on properly. All of you running around and certainly getting covered in mud, but you could all clean up later. You were having so much fun, until everything came to a sudden stop.

    You were running when you heard a sound, almost like a whistle, and stopped in your tracks. As you did so an arrow flew in front of your face, embedding itself in the tree next to you. Everything changed as you knew what that meant, hunters. Any sense of logic was thrown out the window as this sense of dread overcame you. Without thinking you shifted back into a human and started calling out for Sangyeon. The other boys knew what was going on now as well, Juyeon quickly grabbing you and putting a hand over your mouth, telling you to quiet down. You didn’t listen, biting his hand and running off.

“Sangyeon! Sangyeon!”

    Tears began to blur your vision, finding yourself living through that day all over again. You just wanted to find Sangyeon, every moment that went by made you feel that you had lost him all over again.

“Sangyeon!”

    You felt like you couldn’t breathe, like everything up until now was for nothing. You kept screaming his name, stumbling around as you couldn’t see much through the tears.

“Y/n!”

    You thought you were hallucinating when you heard your name, only to suddenly be pulled into someone’s arms. You caught Sangyeon’s scent, burying your face in the crook of his neck and sobbing. You wrapped your arms around him tightly, shaking. He wasn’t sure what was wrong, but the sudden distress from you scared him. He was desperate to find you as well, and now that you were in his arms he held you tightly. The rest of the boys eventually found you both, gathering around.

“What happened?”

“Hunters.” Hyunjae stated. “Not far off. We can-”

“Retreat.”

“What?”

“We’re going back to the house.”

“But-”

“Now!”

    Sangyeon did not intend to repeat himself, and the boys got the message. They shifted and made their way back to the house, Sangyeon carrying you and following behind them. He made sure to keep you close, while also listening to make sure the hunters didn’t get close. Everyone got to the house safely, going into the showers to wash up. Sangyeon hoped you would have calmed down a bit, but you still refused to let him go.

“Y/n, baby, we gotta clean up.”

“…”

“Alright, we can shower together.”

      None of the boys commented as Sangyeon sat down with you under a shower head. Usually you’d strip clothes, but he didn’t mind getting soaked fully dressed. You both stayed like that long after the others left, although you couldn’t stay forever. Once Sangyeon was sure you were clean he did his best to dry you up before taking you into the house. He wanted to make sure you wouldn’t get sick, so he took you over to the den where they had a fire place. Some of the others mopped up the water that had spilled along the way, and another got the fireplace going. No one wanted to go to bed, so they all quietly stuck around. At some point you had fallen asleep in Sangyeon’s arms, still holding him tight though.

“Is she okay?” Juyeon asked. “She freaked out back there.”

“Are you?” Sangyeon questioned. “Your hand, she bit you?”

“Yeah… she was screaming for you and I didn’t want her drawing attention to herself. I thought I could get her to quiet down, but she bit me…”

“I’m sure she didn’t mean to hurt you, she was in a state of panic. Does it still hurt?”

“Just a bit… but it’s not healing properly…”

“Wounds from an alpha take longer to heal, especially from your own alpha. You’ll be okay.”

“And will she be okay?”

“Why didn’t you let us rip those hunters apart?” Eric stated. “Even if we were outnumbered, we overpower them easily. A whole building of them didn’t-”

“Hunters follow a code themselves. Most do anyway. They stay out of territories from packs that isolate and haven’t hurt human lives. I, the both of us, came from a pack like that. Besides that, no one is supposed to know we’re even here, and even then, this is our territory and we don’t hurt people. Those hunters had no business attacking us, and I wasn’t going to give them a reason to come after us.”

“If they’re not supposed to know we’re here, then how did they find us?” Kevin wondered. “You told us this is our territory, and Hongjoong just owns the land to keep others out, especially hunters.”

“I don’t know… I’m going to need to speak with him about this…”

“… sangyeon… sangyeon…”

“Sh, sh, it’s okay, I’m right here, everything’s okay.”

    Even in your sleep you were still worried. Sangyeon gently hushed you, rocking you back and forth like a baby, assuring you that he was here and alright.

“Why was she screaming for you?” Jacob asked. “She was fine, and then suddenly so scared…”

“Because she was there with me that day… the day I got taken by hunters… we were a ways away from the territory when an arrow flew over her head… I told her to run back to the pack and get help while I distracted the hunters… I never came back… she must have been afraid of leaving me like before… of losing me…”

“Oh…”

“She hated her wolf form after that… even took suppressants… probably why she’s smaller than us… don’t bring any of this up to her later.”

“We won’t…”

“Good. Younghoon, tomorrow you and two others need to go to Hongjoong and tell him what happened. I want answers by the time I talk to him.”

“Got it.”

    Sangyeon held you by the fire for a while longer before deciding to get you to bed for some proper rest. By sunrise you were still sleeping, but you weren’t stressed anymore, so he stayed in bed with you curled up in his arms.

“Sangyeon…”

“Sh, it’s okay, I’m here.”

    You had slowly started to wake up, the first thing you wanted was Sangyeon. Hearing his voice immediately put you at ease, and you snuggled up against him. The memories of the night before surfaced, but you told yourself everything was alright. You still had Sangyeon with you.

“Is the pack okay?”

“We’re all fine.”

“I don’t hear eleven heartbeats…”

“I sent some boys out on an errand today.”

“What errand?”

“Something small, you don’t need to worry about it.”

“Everyone’s okay… right… you’re not lying to me…”

“They’re your pack too, you’d know if something was off.”

“True…”

“We’re okay. I’m gonna get you some food, so you just stay here.”

“Hm…”

    Sangyeon expected you to need time to recover after that night, but he underestimated how you would take it. He let you lie in bed for a day or two, but it was starting to become clear you didn’t want to get up. He wasn’t sure how to help, but you were worrying him more and more. One night he woke up to the smell of blood, seeing that you were dreaming and clawing at your ears. He quickly stopped you and startled you awake.

“I hate my… Sangyeon…”

“Are you okay?” Sangyeon reached over to your ear, seeing some blood already dry on the fur. “Why would you do this?”

“It’s nothing…” You pulled his hand away. “Just a bad dream.”

“I can see that.”

    You got out of bed and rushed over to the bathroom, washing your ear and claws, cursing under your breath. You didn’t realize Sangyeon had followed you.

“Nothing happened that night y/n.”

“… I know…”

“But it’s still bothering you?”

“I’m fine.”

“You don’t claw at your ear if that’s the case. I know you did this before when I…”

“I said I’m fine.”

“I don’t believe you.”

“Sangyeon…”

“You’re worrying me. You haven’t gotten out of bed in days now, you’re barely eating and now this. It’s fortunate you can’t hurt yourself so severely anymore, but still.”

“It’s nothing. Like you said-”

“I’m right here, you don’t have-”

“You didn’t come back the first time!”

“What?”

“You didn’t come back…” You had tears building up. “You didn’t… and I… it was all my fault… what if something happened again… what if I’m just dreaming…”

“You’re not, y/n this is real, I’m here with you.”

“I’m not so sure…”

    You sank down to the floor crying. Sangyeon came over and pulled you into his arms. He thought you’d get better on your own, but after so many years, experiencing something so similar to that day, you’re spiraling down grief and guilt from before. He feared you’d only get worse, and he didn’t want that to be the case. The rest of the pack was already worrying about you. Sangyeon thought for a moment, knowing he had a solution, but not really wanting to use it. He was born a wolf, and felt more like one, but he couldn’t deny his vampire nature, and what came with the title.

“Y/n… everything’s going to be alright… I promise…”

“I don’t wanna lose you again…”

“You won’t, you never will again, I swear on my life.” Sangyeon took a breath. “I need you to look at me for a moment.”

    Sangyeon gently moved away so your eyes could meet. He wiped away some of your tears, cupping your cheek. You seemed better, but he couldn’t risk you falling apart again.

“I want you to forget about the hunters the other night.”

“Hm…”

“Your first full moon with the pack, you shifted and we played all night long. The boys had so much fun, and they can’t wait to do it again. That’s all that happened, okay?”

“Okay…”

“Now let’s go back to bed.”

    You were still a bit dazed, but Sangyeon took your hand and led you back to the bedroom. He made sure to hold you close and pet your head as you drifted off. You were a lot more at ease now, and he was glad for that. In the morning you still seemed a bit unsteady but better overall.

“Y/n.”

“Hm?”

“I need to pay Hongjoong a visit, will you be alright while I’m gone?”

“Of course. I have some cleaning to do around the house.”

“Okay. I’m taking some of the boys, and I won’t be gone long.”

“Be safe, love you!”

“Love you too.”

🖤

“What do you mean you don’t know?”

    The club wasn’t open during the day, but there was always a lot to be done, and of course being a source of a rare menu item, they were welcome in at any time. Sangyeon had been assured that Hongjoong was aware of the hunter situation, and had said he’d look into it. Now Sangyeon was here for answers.

“The situation is a bit complicated.”

“Then just give it to me straight.”

“Taking no man’s land as my own hasn’t gone unnoticed. Most think I have it so I don’t leave myself open, but the rumors going around lately have created a new possibility.”

“What rumor?”

“That I have hunting dogs, and the new land is where I keep them.” 

“That’s not entirely wrong, but regardless, we don’t hurt humans. Hunters had no business coming after us.”

“I don’t like the idea of those things on my land either. I’m still looking into it, to see who’s crossing the line, but I don’t have much else for you. I do hope this doesn’t interrupt business.”

“Not at all, just something else to look out for.”

“Then, it’d be no trouble to give you another task?”

“Who is it this time?”

    It was annoying that Sangyeon didn’t have a name, but this matter wasn’t his to deal with alone. He never liked the idea of hunters, and over time he had developed a personal hatred for them. This incident was just another thing on the list of reasons he wanted them dead. When he got back home you were running around the house with the others, playing a game of tag or something. It eased his concerns just to see you happy and getting along with the others. The burdens of your first full moon completely gone, but something still lingered. Despite your energy that night you weren’t eager to go out the next time they invited you, but no one made a comment and just promised to behave themselves.

“Ya! Sangyeon!”

    Even if everything seemed okay, Sangyeon still worried about you all night. When they got back to the house he immediately wanted to go check on you, but you caught him before he set foot in the house.

“What did I say about dragging mud into the house!”

“I just wanted to see my baby.”

“Well she will be right here and waiting once you clean up.”

“Is that so?”

“Yes.”

“Then maybe…”

    Sangyeon pulled you into his arms and started kissing you up and down, getting you covered in mud and all dirty. You were yelling at him to stop while also laughing.

“Ya!”

“Looks like you’re all filthy now too. You can’t be in the house like this.”

“Obviously.”

“Guess you have to shower with me now.”

“Yup.”

“Let’s go.”

    Sangyeon happily carried you over to the showers, the other boys howling and laughing when they saw what had happened. You giggled but just told them to quiet down, getting under a shower head with Sangyeon. He was more than happy to clean up his mess.

“You’re still in trouble for this.”

“I’m sure I am.”

“Will you be joining us tomorrow mom?” Haknyeon suddenly asked.

“Tomorrow? For what?”

“A hunt.”

“Hunt? I thought you didn’t do that anymore?”

“No, no, not that type of hunt.” Sangyeon corrected. “Hongjoong needs to send a message, so he gave us a job.”

“Oh… that kind of hunt…”

“Is something wrong?”

“No. That was part of the deal, and it’s just us upholding our end of it.”

“You don’t have to come. We’ve done plenty already so it’s not something new or dangerous.”

“It’ll be a lot of fun.” Sunwoo added. “All the blood and fighting. Really good to get out the urges.”

“Sure.”

“What?”

“I’ll go. Seems like a good pack bonding experience actually.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

“Awesome!”

    The boys were quickly excited, talking about how awesome tomorrow would be. After showering you retired to your room with Sangyeon, already exhausted from the day and the shower just relaxed you all the more. You still wanted to yell at Sangyeon for his actions, but you’d let it slide this time. You wanted to be well rested and ready for whatever tomorrow’s hunt brought. You knew wolves would also hunt the undead if it called for it, especially way back when. So this was something you never really thought you’d do. You were looking forward to it, seeing all your loved ones in action.

    You didn’t actually know what to expect, so you just followed along. Sangyeon had the details and took the lead. You ended up somewhere completely new, at least for you. The area was one you hadn’t been to before, and it seemed so full of life. A lot of businesses were open and busy, people constantly moving around. It was like one big party, but you weren’t here to mingle with the crowds, just following Sangyeon to a certain place. Most vampire clubs were underground, but some weren’t exclusively for the undead. That’s where you ended up. On the outside it looked like a normal place, but you could sleep fresh blood as soon as you walked in.

    Places like these were more complicated, only those who were part of the supernatural could get into VIP areas, besides the human food and entertainment of course. So you acted like a party, coming in for drinks and to celebrate. There was always something to get excited over, and after a bit, getting some attention too, Sangyeon asked about having some more fun. You flashed your fangs at the barista, yours weren’t silver after all, and they understood right away. The VIP area was much more lively, and the smell of blood was intoxicating. You had to focus though, you weren’t here for fun, but a job. At least getting wasted wasn’t easy for you, not that you’d ever really know. So you played your part until the time came.

“Never seen you around here before, you new?”

“Something like that.”

    You had stayed with Sangyeon the whole time, so when an unfamiliar face approached you got a little stiff. Sangyeon on the other hand seemed fine.

“How did you find this place?”

“A friend.”

“Well, I think-”

“I’m here on their behalf.”

“What?”

“You were warned about staying out of another’s territory. You only get that mercy once.”

“Seriously? So the rumors are true? The bastard has mutts-”

“You won’t live to tell the truth.”

    Sangyeon didn’t hesitate to pounce on the vampire’s neck, giving them a dose of venom and getting a taste for themselves. That was the cue for the rest of the boys to act, jumping on the nearest vampire and attacking. The place soon erupted into panic, the music being drowned out by screams. It was easy to tell who was who then and there, the humans running off while the undead were ready to fight. They didn’t all have to die, they could run too, but as you had learned, a nest was loyal to the sire, the way wolves were to their alpha. You were just watching all the chaos when a vampire suddenly attacked you.

    They really caught you off guard, but you were far stronger than them. This was a hunt, you were allowed to let loose. You growled and let your eyes glow before running at your attacker. You didn’t hold back, letting your wolf side take over and do what just felt right. It wasn’t long before you were covered in blood, from fighting and taking a few sloppy drinks here and there. Vampire blood certainly tasted different. You got lost in the chaos of it all until things quiet down, seeing the rest of your pack bloody and breathless, smiles all around. Some jumped over to the bar, getting something to wash down all the blood.

“Did you have fun?”

    Sangyeon came over to you and offered you his hand to get you up. You smiled up at him and took his hand, going over to the bar.

“How many times have you gone out hunting?”

“Just a few.”

“I’m coming next time too.”

“Alright, full pack hunting!” Hyunjae cheered. “Gonna be awesome.”

“So now what?”

“Just relax a bit.” Changmin said. “The idea is to leave a message, so we’ll leave in a bit.”

“I don’t know how you are still drinking, I’m kinda full.”

“Really one of the best things of a hunt.”

    You did have another few drinks despite what you said. It took a while before anyone seemed to notice the massacre in the VIP area, but by then you were long gone. The night was still young and you were all traveling back home. Everyone was still full of energy and you could tell how some of your boys had a bottomless hunger. Juyeon wandered over to a nearby road, getting a car to stop and scaring the people inside with his bloody face. You scolded him and told him to leave them alone, he had enough for one night. He was pouty but listened to you, getting back with the pack. You pulled him close and pet his head, getting a happy whine from him, and some jealous looks thrown his way.

“Can we gather by the fire after we clean up?” Sunwoo asked.

“Sure, we can all wind down together.” You said.

    You all went into the showers, some of the boys partially stripping down. Although you quickly noticed something was wrong. When you turned the valve no water came out, and it seemed none of the shower heads were working. You never had a problem before.

“I’ll go check.” Sangyeon volunteered. 

    As he was about to step out some water suddenly started coming through, except it was different. The pressure was strong, and the water wasn’t water. It burned the second it touched your skin, and then the smell hit. Holy water with a mix of wolfsbane. You ran for the door as the others did, but they were locked, and the atmosphere inside was already weakening you. With the exits closed off you risked the burn to shut off the water. You only did one before a loud ringing sound filled your ears. The world was suddenly spinning, and as you regained your senses you noticed the sight before you, horrified.

    They boys were all fighting one another, clawing and biting, eyes glowing a bright golden color, except for Sangyeon. You screamed at them to stop, trying to get in between them all, the burning almost becoming secondary to your concerns. Although your attempts were in vain as they quickly turned on you and attacked without mercy. It hurt far worse than what you had experienced earlier that night, and they quickly overwhelmed you. Your vision was fading and you had no idea what was going on, besides knowing this had all been some sort of trap. The last thing you could make out was a loud roar and red eyes looming over you.

🖤

    You gasped awake, falling out of the bed you had been laying on. The fall made you wince, as you were still in pain from the attack. You could see lingering claw and bite marks, feeling the tears in your eyes. Wounds from your own pack took time to heal, but most of all you were worried about them. You couldn’t find their scents anywhere near you, so you feared the worst. You took in your surroundings, feeling a vague sense of familiarity. When you tried to get up you heard footsteps approaching, making you tense. You were prepared to fight even if you weren’t in a condition to do so.

“Y/n!”

“Soohyun?”

    You were suddenly pulled into a hug, your mind still processing and ignoring the pain for a while. Although once you snapped out of it you pushed your cousin away, sitting back down on the bed.

“What… what’s going on?”

“Are you okay? We’ve been looking for you for months. I feared you were dead.”

“Dead? What… what are you…”

“The massacre at the wedding anniversary. Everyone was dead, and you were missing.”

“Wedding… who’s anniversary?”

“Yours… y/n it was your wedding anniversary with Junwoo.”

“Who?”

“Your mate… don’t you… how is it that you have a new mark? What-”

“My mate…” You grabbed your head. “No… I never… then how… Sangyeon messed with my head… I don’t know what you’re talking about…”

“Sangyeon? Y/n he’s been missing for over ten years now. Presumed dead.”

“No! No he’s alive. He came for me, and his pack… my pack…”

“This is your pack y/n. It’s been chaos since you went missing, but now that you’re back. I’m not entirely sure what happened to you but you’re stronger. You can lead the pack as you were always supposed to.”

“No… this isn’t my pack… it never has been.”

“Y/n, take a deep breath. I’m sure you have a lot on your mind right now, but you’re home.”

“Home… I have to find Sangyeon, we were all attacked by hunters and-”

“We told them not to hurt you.”

“What?”

“…”

“Soohyun, what are you talking about? How did you even find me? How is it that I’m here?”

“…”

“Soohyun!”

“We were making any progress. It’s like you disappeared off the face of the Earth. We didn’t want to believe you were dead, so as a last resort we spoke to some hunters. We told them what happened that day… and they seemed to have an idea…”

“You… you basically led hunters to our doorstep…”

“They were there to rescue you! Just look at yourself? Those other wolves marked you up and-”

“They weren’t in control of themselves! We were attacked with holy water and wolfsbane, trapped in a room! They went crazy and were hurting each other as well!”

“That’s what they did?”

“You think hunters are to ever be trusted? They want us all dead even if they respect our territories and isolation! Do you-”

    Your words cut off as you slapped your hands over your ears, hearing this ear piercing whistle overwhelm you. It was only you though as Soohyun seemed just fine, but concerned over you.

“What is it y/n?”

“Didn’t… you didn’t hear that?”

“Hear what?”

“I… I don’t-” A howl suddenly caught your attention, and you recognized it immediately. “Sangyeon?”

“What?”

“That was Sangyeon… I have to-”

    You got up, only to collapse to the ground. Your injuries were still holding you back, and your head was spinning from the whistle. Soohyun helped you up.

“Take it easy. I’ll go check that out.”

“It’s Sangyeon, just bring him to me.”

“Just wait here.”

    Even with what Soohyun had told you, there was still so much you didn’t understand. For now you’d wait. At least you knew Sangyeon was alive, so that little bit put you at ease. That is if you weren’t hallucinating. Now that you were alone and allowed to think things over, you thought back to what happened. Hunters certainly attacked you, but if they were supposedly helping you get back to your old pack, why wouldn’t they kill the rest. Perhaps Sangyeon and the others escaped, but something still felt off about all of this. Then you heard screams.

    They weren’t familiar, but the growling and roars were. You got up and ran to the door only to collapse to the ground. Your heart was racing and you had to know what was going on outside, but in your panic state with your broken body, you could barely stand. You forced yourself up and managed to open the door, mainly crawling around and looking for a way outside. Screams came from all directions, and you began to smell blood too. Somehow you managed the energy to stand, getting over to the nearest window and looking out. People were running around, others fighting. You had no idea why, and then a giant wolf pounced on someone, ripping them to pieces.

“Sangyeon…”

    You would know him anywhere, but his piercing red eyes locked onto you, sending shivers down your spine. You immediately collapsed out of fear, crawling back and away from the window. Hundreds of questions were running through your head, but that was all interrupted as you screamed, seeing the wolf jump through the window. Those red eyes stared into yours, no signs of familiarity, low growls making you cower in fear as they got closer and closer.

“Sangyeon… Sangyeon, it’s me… I’m your mate… whatever is going on… please… snap out of it… we got attacked by hunters… we… hunters… what did they do to you?”

    Sangyeon roared and jumped on you, pinning you down. You yelled over the ache of slamming your head on the ground, but mostly over the weight suddenly on top of you. If you tried to get him off he’d surely attack you, so you were completely at his mercy. His snout was right in your face, and you could smell all the blood dripping from his teeth.

“Please… Sangyeon…”

    You shut your eyes, not wanting to see him like this, and turned your head, hoping things happened quickly. He breathed down your neck, and then you felt a tingling sensation. He was sniffing your mating mark, and having him so close made you shake, giving you a slight dizzy feeling. 

“Sangyeon…”

“Mine…”

“Huh?”

    You opened your eyes as Sangyeon shifted, his hands grabbing yours and keeping them pinned. His eyes were still red, and you weren’t entirely sure if he was back to his old self. Although you were still at his mercy as he drew his canines and bit right into your mating mark. You screamed from the pain, something completely new and foreign, but so full of adrenaline. Despite his bite hurting, this was something he had done to you before, in the exact same spot. Once the initial sting faded away, you found yourself slowly floating up to cloud nine. You could barely register Sangyeon was pressing bloody kisses to your cheek, his hands letting you go and reaching for your body.

“Mine…”

    You felt a chill as your clothes got torn open, vaguely realizing Sangyeon was shirtless. A shaky hand reached over to caress his face, seeing his eyes had returned to normal, but there was something there that had replaced the rage. He looked at you for a moment before he was kissing down your bare chest, his hands caressing your body and traveling down with him. You closed your eyes for a moment, taking in his touches, forgetting about all your worries for the time being. Before you knew it you felt Sangyeon pushing your legs apart, something pressing against your core, making you shake in anticipation. You had never done anything before, with anyone, and you never would have thought your first would be like this.

    You instinctively grabbed Sangyeon as he pushed in, showing you no mercy and filling you up in an instant. Nonsense spilled from your lips as you took everything in, feeling something new. You were so blissed out you weren’t sure if Sangyeon was speaking as he peppered your neck with kisses, especially kissing over your freshly pierced mating mark, making you all the more dizzy. Somehow he still managed to be gentle, at first anyway, getting you into a nice rhythm with one wave after another hitting you with pleasure. You were already shaking under him, but he was far from done with you.

“You’re mine… all mine… gonna fill you up… gonna have my pups…”

    At times you did try to speak, but you were still only capable of incoherent mumbles. He was keeping you in the moment, your only focus on him and what he was doing to you. Things were bound to get rough, and when his grip on your hips got tight you knew he was close. Wolves were aggressive, and he was taking out a lot on you, adding to your injuries, knowing very well the marks would stay for a while to remind you who you belonged to. Even with your own limited strength you held onto him tightly, letting every possible sound spill from your lips as he pushed you over the edge, making you shake from a whole new sensation. You swear your eyes rolled to the back of your head, and your reaction was enough to get him to climax as well.

    You felt something warm inside, filling you up to the brim, and it felt so right. Somehow you found Sangyeon’s lips, kissing him until you were out of breath. Now that you looked into his eyes, he seemed more like your Sangyeon. You gently cupped his cheek, offering him a ditzy smile. He gave you a smile in return, pressing a soft kiss to your lips. You two remained in place for a while, then you felt something else going on and held Sangyeon with all your strength. He chuckled into your ear, moving ever so slightly to make you whimper, despite your mumbles for him to stop.

“Fuck… Sangyeon…”

“Sh, it’ll go down on its own.”

“You… fuck… are you okay?”

“I should ask you.” Sangyeon looked you over. “You’re hurt.”

“So are you… what happened? Hunters attacked us and I woke up here… back with my old pack.”

“Is that where this is?”

“You don’t recognize it?”

“I didn’t really grow up here…”

“Right. I’m sorry, this is my fault.”

“How is any of this on you?”

“My old pack was looking for me, so they contacted some hunters and…”

“That’s not your fault. I was the one who-”

“You messed with my memories.”

“Wa… what?”

“Soohyun told me about Junwoo, my mate, I-”

“You don’t have any other mate besides me!” Sangyeon growled. “These mutts made a deal with the devil to take you from me!”

“Sangyeon-”

“You were taken from me, from your pack!” Sangyeon stared into your eyes, his own glowing red. “These mutts are nothing to you, and they’re all dead anyway.”

“Wa… what! Sangyeon-”

“Do I make myself clear!”

“Sta… stop it! This isn’t fair! You can’t-”

“Look at me!”

“Sangyeon…”

“I’m your mate, and I’d never do anything to hurt you.”

“… you’d never… hurt me…”

“No, never.”

    Sangyeon pulled you into a deep kiss, holding you tight. Your head was already fuzzy from the pheromones, and he basically made everything go blank for a moment. You whimpered and leaned against him. He gently got up, making sure not to cause you discomfort, going off to find something to wear given he had torn your clothes off earlier. He found some clothes for you, also getting a blanket to wrap you up in.

“Sh, everything’s going to be alright.”

“The others… they’re okay right…”

“Yes.”

“What happened…”

“I don’t know. We were attacked, and then everything went red…”

“Red?”

“All of a sudden I felt angry… like I wanted to rip something apart… it wasn’t until I got close to you that I seemed to calm down…”

“Weird…”

    A sudden howl startled you and you grabbed onto Sangyeon. You had completely forgotten about the outside and what had been happening until now. Sangyeon was about to say something when another wolf came in through the broken window, Jacob. His eyes were w fierce gold and he looked just like Sangyeon did before. All it took was a roar from Sangyeon to calm him down. As the boy shifted you noticed his confused face as well.

“What happened… where am I?”

“What’s the last thing you remember?”

“Uh… we went home after the hunt… but the showers… mom, are you okay!” Jacob suddenly rushed over to you, seeing your injuries and whimpering. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what came over me. Everything was burning and then things went… I don’t know…”

“Sh, it’s okay.” You ran a hand through Jacob’s hair. “I know you didn’t mean to hurt me. That whistle nearly drove me mad too.”

“Whistle?” Sangyeon questioned. “What whistle?”

“I heard this like whistle back home… and a while ago too, but I was the only one that heard it.”

“Something is going on… hold on.”

    Sangyeon went over to the window, howling up at the night sky. You did get a bit tense, knowing he was calling over all of the boys, and if they weren’t in their right mind, you’d definitely be outnumbered. You weren’t wrong to be worried as within a few minutes, the others were breaking into the house, looking at all three of you in a hostile manner. Thankfully Sangyeon just needed to roar and remind them all who their alpha was to get them back to their senses. Just like Jacob, they were confused about what had happened.

“Something’s going on…” Changmin mumbled. “We were attacked by hunters… I get why you’re alive but why are we?”

“Hybrids aren’t easy to kill.” Sunwoo said. “I’m actually not sure if we can die…”

“Then how did we end up here?” Haknyeon questioned. “We got taken by hunters.”

“This was a hunt.” Sangyeon realized. “We were practically released into this territory and killed everyone…”

“But you weren’t in control of yourselves.” You reminded. “How can this even be a hunt.”

“Cause we’re the hunters hunting dogs…”

“What?”

“The ones that took us, and turned us into hybrids, they used us as hunting dogs. You even heard rumors of us. It always seemed that they controlled my boys by threatening my life, but that never made much sense. So they have an ulterior method. You said you heard a whistle?”

“Yes…”

“Something that drives us mad and makes us attack anything that isn’t human, or our own kind.”

“That’s why you didn’t hurt me right away. But, I thought you killed all the hunters that kept you captive.”

“We did, but we didn’t destroy the place. Someone else must have found it and became aware of our existence. They don’t know about you though.”

“What do we do now?” Kevin asked. “If those bastards have something to control us with, how can we stop them?”

“It doesn’t work on me.” You stated. “I could-”

“No!”

    They all practically yelled together, startling you. When they realized they quickly apologized, but you understood where they were coming from.

“I get your worried, but none of you can even get close to the hunters. I can.”

“And what if they make us hurt you?” Chanhee whined. “What if we can’t stop ourselves?”

“I snapped Sangyeon out of it… and he snapped you out of it.”

“How did you do that?”

“I… I’m not entirely sure…”

“Maybe it’s cause you’re mated.” Eric suggested. “That kind of bond is strong, isn’t it…”

“That could be it…”

    You reached up to your mark, feeling the freshly dried blood. There was no way to confirm that’s how you got through to Sangyeon the first time, but you were willing to try.

“I have a plan.”

“No.” Sangyeon stated. “You’re not putting yourself in danger. We’ll just run away.”

“And go where? They invaded our home Sangyeon. Even if we go to Hongjoong for help, those hunters know about us, they’ll come after us. If all it takes is some damn whistle to turn you into their hunting dogs, then you’ll never be safe.”

“What about you then? If this doesn’t work, you think they won’t make us tear you to pieces.”

“I don’t know… but I also don’t want to live our lives on the run and afraid…”

“Y/n, you can’t ask me to put you in danger.”

“I’m not asking permission. This is my pack too, and I will do anything to protect them. And this isn’t just about us. Under someone else’s control we’re dangerous. You whipped out a whole pack just now, imagine what else they might do.”

“Y/n…”

“Trust me. I’m not just going to run away here, and you know we’d have to take a stand and fight at some point.”

“What if you get hurt?”

“Then I’ll heal with you by my side, all of you.”

    You knew Sangyeon wasn’t happy about this, and the others probably didn’t like it either, but no one wanted to run away either. You explained to them what you had in mind, and they reluctantly agreed to let you go. You certainly weren’t at full strength, but you could walk, for the most part. It was hard to ignore all the bodies and blood around, but you focused on finding the hunters, and doing what was necessary to protect your pack. Once away from the massacre, you caught onto the scent of humans, following it cautiously until you began to hear voices. Your own nerves kinda worked in your favor as you began stumbling about, somewhat accidentally getting their attention.

“What do we have here? Looks like a little wolf escaped.”

    Even if you were practically immortal, the hunter’s presence alone struck fear into your heart. Your legs gave out and you collapsed to the ground. The men slowly approached you, finding you amusing.

“Impressive, but whatever.”

    You noticed as one pulled out what seemed like a dog whistle, but with strange markings about it. Not hard for one to realize it had magical properties. You didn’t even think to brace for the noise as it suddenly went off. You screamed and covered your ears, curling up on the floor.

“Huh? You can hear this? I thought only hybrids could.”

“She was with them for a while, I guess they turned her too.”

“What do we do with her then? Can the others even kill her?”

“Not sure, but I think it’d be a waste. At least now they’d have a little bitch to play with.”

    You growled at that comment, but it wasn’t smart to start a fight. Besides, you began to hear footsteps, smelling a familiar scent. You were nervous, afraid this wouldn’t work, but you had to try anyway. The rest of your pack soon appeared, all shifted and eyes glowing. Seeing them like this scared you.

“I suppose we should leave then. They seem to be done.”

“Sang… Sangyeon…”

“Shut up!”

    One of the hunters hit you over the head with a rifle, causing a rise out of Sangyeon. He got closer, growling up at them this time.

“Look at this mutt, protective over the female.”

“Sangyeon, it’s me! You have to fight this like before! You’re not some attack dog for them-”

    You got hit again, far worse this time. You curled up on the floor grabbing your head, the pain mainly bearable, but Sangyeon couldn’t just stand still and watch you get hurt. Perhaps he was still enraged, but his anger shifted towards your attacker. It startled the rest of the hunters, unaware he could even do that. Sangyeon only stopped for a moment to order the rest to do the same, and it was an easy fight. You stayed put, all curled up and making yourself small, not wanting to get involved and accidentally get hurt. You didn’t know it was over until you felt someone tickling you, opening your eyes to find Sangyeon nudging you softly. You got up and reached over to pet him.

“We’re okay.”

    You crawled over to the hunter’s body, finding the one that had the whistle. Despite the magic it had, it wasn’t indestructible, so you easily snapped it in half and threw the pieces off into the woods.

“Let’s go home…”

    You managed to get on your feet, but were still unsteady. Sangyeon shifted back and picked you up in his arms, insisting on carrying you back home. It was a long journey, not really making it back until the sun was up. For once you’d allow everyone into the house despite the filth, you had showers inside too. Sangyeon joined you for yours, helping you clean up and making sure you didn’t hurt yourself. He dried you up too, going off to get you a change of clothes as well. You were already thinking of cleaning up and fixing the outdoor showers but Sangyeon told you those were all problems for later.

“Aren’t you going to bed?”

“Hm…”

    You knew Sangyeon was right. You all had just been through such a great ordeal, and it was best to just recover first. You were tired, but you didn’t want to go to bed. So you made your way over to the den, shifting into your wolf form and curling up by the fire. Sangyeon watched you for a moment, fond of you and remembering why he loved you so much. He shifted as well and joined you, hoping you’d warm up and fall asleep soon enough. One by one the others noticed and joined in as well, adding to the pile, and laying down to rest. You were home, safe and sound with your mate and your pack. This was where you wanted to be, and where you would stay forever.

#the boyz #sangyeon #jacob #younghoon #hyunjae #juyeon #kevin #new #q #haknyeon #sunwoo #eric #lee sangyeon #bae jacob #kim younghoon #lee jaehyun #lee juyeon #moon kevin #choi ch #ji changmin #ju haknyeon #kim sunwoo #son youngjae #the boyz au #the boyz scenarios #the boyz smut #the boyz yandere #tbz #tbz au #the boyz roar

[mochie85]

Skin

One-Shot Masterlist Complete Masterlist

One-shots based on this prompt list. Prompt 20: Exaggerating Prompt 21: Broken glass Prompt 22: "That could've ended really badly."

Summary: Loki comforts you after returning from a difficult mission. Warnings: History of abuse, trauma, fluff, and angst with a happy ending. Pairings: Loki x Female Reader Word Count: 2317 A/N: *Hamingja - Norse goddess of luck.

You limped off the jet, carrying your duffel in one hand. Honestly, you probably should’ve just left it. The weight of it pulling on your injured arm made it feel twice as heavy than it really was. You couldn’t brace it on your back or your shoulders because you knew it would hurt even more. But you didn’t want them to see. You had convinced yourself that you couldn’t afford to let them see your weakness. Your pride preventing you from actually healing. Physically and mentally. 

“Are you sure you’re alright?” Bucky asks suspiciously.

“Yes. I’m fine. Nothing a good bath couldn’t fix.” You pacified.

“I can help with that too?” Bucky said salaciously. On a normal day, you’d come up with a snarky response. It was your thing with Bucky. He’d say some stupid pick-up line and you would shoot him down, much to the dismay of Loki, who would gladly just shoot him altogether. But today, Bucky just watched you stagger off the hanger, wincing in pain, not even acknowledging his comment. “Something’s not right.” He said to himself.

Once in your room, you threw your bag onto your bed and laid there on top of your sheets.

“Darling, I…” It didn’t take long for Loki to come into your room. He heard that you got back from your mission and he saw some of the other team members walking around the compound. He found you lying face down, perpendicular to your bed. You were still in your armor. Your boots were still on your feet as they dangled off your bed. He chuckled at the sight, coming closer to you.

It wasn’t until he was sitting next to you that he heard small whimpers and sniffles coming from your direction.

“Darling, what’s the matter?” he asked worriedly. You cried a little bit louder, lifting your face to wipe your nose. You hid your face in your hands, trying to hide the shame in them. “What happened?” he said as he tried to smooth your hair back into place. You just continued crying. The pain on your back and your arm cutting through your muddled thoughts.

“Come on. I’ll help you out of your armor.” Loki said as he helped you sit up. When you finally stood, Loki couldn’t help but notice the small pool of blood that had formed on top of your sheets. He looked back at your face quickly, trying to assess the severity of your injuries. “You’re hurt! You stubborn woman, why didn’t you go to the healers?!” He quickly picked you up as you shook your head.

“No, no, no. Please don’t. I don’t want to go.” You pleaded.

“You will go and you cannot return until you’re back in the condition you had left here initially! Understood?!” He said menacingly. He used his seidr to open your door, banging it open. He didn’t know how long you’ve been wallowing in your own arrogance, injured on the top of your bed. Judging by the amount of blood he saw and your stifled whimpers, it’s been a while. Seriously! Only you would think you could survive bleeding out with a nap on your bed.

You wrapped your arms around his neck and placed your forehead against his cheek. “Please,” you whispered. Your small tears spotted his face. You cupped his cheek and forced him to look into your eyes. “Please,” you begged.

At that moment, Loki looked like a raging bull. He huffed through his nose, his eyes narrowed and he ground his teeth. “Do you just expect me to watch you suffer? I will not!” his voice getting louder. You were scared he would attract the attention of the rest of the team.

You shook your head fiercely as more tears fell on your cheeks and you wrapped your arms tighter around him. “Please, Loki. I can’t. Not yet.”

With a deep growl, he turned around and headed back into your room. “You forget that it’s not just your life anymore.” He snarled as he slammed your door closed with his foot. “I am a selfish creature. What do you think would happen to me if anything were to happen to you?” He asked as he laid you back on your bed. “Don’t answer that question!” He scolded you. “Even at death’s door you still want to give me sass.” He said looking deep into your eyes.

On any other night, he would be right. You would probably say something along the lines of, “Oh I don’t know, find someone else to love.” Or “You can probably have that party you’ve always wanted.” But you didn’t have the nerve or your wits about you. All you could think about is the agony on your shoulder and the ache in your back. Now, apparently, you’re bleeding out as well.

He walked to your bathroom and you heard him turn your tap on. The sound of running water instantly calms your nerves. When he came back, he carried you into your bathroom, not waiting for you to answer or resist. He stood you next to your bath as the scent of roses swirled with the steam from the tub.

He unbuckled your vest. Then he carefully peeled off your top shirt, cautiously avoiding the wound on your left abdomen. Loki examined the wound more judiciously as he knelt down to help you out of your combat boots and pants.

“It seems that Hamingja* has smiled upon you tonight. With the amount of blood I saw on your sheets, I thought you were bleeding out. It’s just a wound left open because there’s still shrapnel in there preventing it from closing.” Loki said. He grabbed a towel and hand it to you. “Put it over your mouth and bite down. This might hurt a bit.”

You did as he instructed and bit down on the towel. With his seidr, he carefully pulled the shrapnel out of your body. Each pull sent a sharp, slicing pain up and around your abdomen. You bit down, but you also screamed into that tiny hand towel as you clutched the marble sink.

With a clink of broken glass on the sink, came instant relief. Loki placed another towel over your wound and pressed hard as he said an incantation for weaving and clotting. As he removed the towel to admire his work, he took note of your other scars as well.

Deep cut bruises and burn scars from your previous relationship. It had been years but they were still on your body, fresh as the day they were made. These were the reasons why you didn’t want to see the healers. You were ashamed.

The moment Loki saw them, earlier in your relationship, he was distressed. He couldn’t believe that such a wonderful, loveable being as yourself was subjugated to such horrors. You had cried to him, ashamed to show him your body, but he assured you that it wasn’t your skin that had attracted him. It was your laugh. It was your kindness. It was in the gentle way you ran your fingers through his hair. It was in the way you slept next to him unguarded. Trusting him to keep you safe. It was your ability to love him, even when he couldn’t love himself.

He didn’t tell you, but perhaps you already knew, that he sought out your vile ex-paramour and simulated the exact same scars you had on your body. Down to the very last blister. Loki did not enjoy that night, contrary to what you might think. With every burn and every scar Loki placed, he was reminded that you had to endure it too through the hands of this despicable asshole. He vowed that night, to always take care of you and protect you. No matter where your relationship would take you. He would protect you with his dying breath.

“Come back to me, my love.” You said as you placed your hand under his chin. He looked up into your eyes and got up from the kneeling position he was in on the floor. “What were you thinking of just now?” you asked him as you leaned against him. You felt his muscles tighten as his arms encircled you.

“Nothing of importance. Come.” He said as he led you to the bathtub. He gently took off your sports bra and underwear, then gently helped you sit in the tub. The warmth of the water enveloped you and instantly took away the ache in your body. The scars on your back stopped stinging as the burn on your shoulders simmered down.

With a washcloth, Loki gently washed away the grime from your last mission, massaging his way from your neck down to your toes. He lavished your body with attention and praise. He wanted your skin to know what true devotion was. To replace the harsh sting of hate with the gentle caress of his love.

“That could’ve ended badly my love,” he said massaging shampoo into your hair. “I don’t want you to feel ashamed or afraid to seek help. Especially if it means to save your life.”

“They’ll start asking questions. Questions I’m not ready to answer. I don’t want them to see me differently.” You whispered.

“They might ask questions. But you don’t have to answer them. As far as seeing you differently. They may. Perhaps, they’ll see what I see. Someone strong and brave. Someone who walked the line of fire and made it through to the other side. How will they ever see you as weak, when you stand so tall and proud next to them. Time after time. Mission after mission.” Loki washed the suds off your hair, watching as the bubbles trickled down to join the water in the tub. “I will be there. Behind you. Every step of the way.” He said, placing a kiss on your neck.

“I don’t deserve you, Loki.”

“You’re right. You deserve far better.” He answered. He moved to kneel down next to you. You gently stroked his cheek and ran your fingers through his hair. He closed his eyes, taking pleasure in your gentle touch. He stood up and grabbed a clean towel from your rack. He wrapped it around you, drying your body gently, going over his swift mend of your abdomen again. “Will you be alright to dress while I get something for you to eat?” he asked and you nodded.

As he turned to leave, you grabbed his arm and pulled him back to you. You tiptoed up to pull his hair down and kissed him passionately. You moaned into the kiss making him wrap his arms around you, pulling you closer to him. You could feel the rough texture of his jeans rub against your stomach. His shirt was warm from his skin. His lips opened as he grabbed both sides of your face, placing your lips exactly where he wanted them. Right into his waiting kiss. He sucked on your upper lip, whimpering as he tasted your mouth.

“Hmmm, well you must be feeling better. You naughty little thing.” He said gliding his lips over yours. The growl of your stomach made him chuckle. “Go on. Get dressed. I’ll meet you in the kitchen.” He bent down slightly to give your butt a sharp slap. Then turned and walked away before he could act on his urges. You needed nourishment. It wouldn’t do any good to be hungry and lack energy while in the midst of having fun anyway.

Loki prepared something light. Some cheese and crackers with some ham and fruit. Maybe chocolate for later. The team was scattered throughout the common area catching up and doing various pursuits. As Loki finished setting up your plate, he could hear muted gasps and a strong silence canvased the entire room. He looked around to see what the matter was and he caught sight of you wearing tight red shorts and a tank top. Your hair was secured up in a ponytail, exposing more of your body than any of the team had ever seen of you. Exposing the scars and burns from your neck down to your thighs.

You stood there awkwardly pretending that what you just revealed wasn’t a big deal. Loki caught Roger’s eyes as he looked to him for an explanation. He looked livid. Rogers instantly knew what those scars meant. He knew of your former relationship with the asshole. Loki just looked at him. Pleaded with him to not bring it up. It had taken a lot of courage for you to come out the way you are. And that should be celebrated not diminished by the reminder of your scar’s presence.

“Loki…” Steve began to ask in a hushed tone.

“He’s been dealt with,” Loki said with a snarl. Steve let out a big sigh and crossed his arms. Nodding his acceptance.

Loki came up from behind you and wrapped both of his arms around you. He kissed your shoulder and hugged you tightly. “You look radiant. Are you ready to eat?” He asked, pulling you towards the counter.

“So Loki wasn’t exaggerating when he said you had a…figure,” Bucky said winking to you. Loki looked at him with narrowed eyes. He said no such thing to Barnes. “You should wear that out more often, doll,” Bucky said as his eyes strayed up and down your body. Loki growled and was about to say something but you laughed at Bucky’s joke and pushed Loki back down.

“Awe thanks. You like what I’m wearing? Too bad for you, you’re not the one that’s gonna take it off me tonight.” You said with a pout. You gave Loki a wink as a proud blush and smile graced his face.

“There she is!” Bucky yelled, pointing at you, as he got heckled for his tasteless joke.

#writing ideas #fic prompt #loki fanfic #loki fluff #mcu #loki laufeyson #loki fandom #tom hiddleston fanfic #loki x you #loki oneshot #loki x reader #@deity-prompts #james bucky barnes #bucky barnes #trauma #fluff #angst with a happy ending

[strangerwheelerthings]

Can you write an angsty hurt/comfort fic about the wheeler siblings?

Mike was screaming at her. He was screaming himself hoarse as he tried to get her to leave. He threw an action figure at the wall beside her. When that didn’t make her flinch, he stepped forward, intent on shoving her out of his room. On any other day, she would have left long before it got to this point, grumbling about her weird brother with clear anger management issues. Not now. Today she would stand her ground. She wasn’t going to budge an inch.

For the first time, in far too long, she saw the pain in her brother’s eyes.

For the first time, she paid attention to more than his words, and worked to understand where all this frustration was coming from. It wasn’t rooted in anger like she’d thought for so long, but in pain and fear buried deep below the surface. 

His reaction to their father’s words over dinner had finally unlocked something. The puzzle pieces all came together at once, making her sick to her stomach at the realization. Not the realization of who her brother was, but the realization of how little she’d stepped into the role of supportive older sibling throughout the last few years.

The blindness was gone, and she determined to never let it creep in again. She was not going to sit back and watch her little brother self-destruct alone. She’d go down with him if it came to that, but he was going to know he was loved if it was the last thing she did. He was going to know that his hurt and anger at the world was justified and understood. 

No eleven year old should have ever suffered the heartache and trauma that he had. No child should have had to shoulder that alone, to pretend it never happened just because some Government Agent Assholes had declared it so. No little boy should have to suffer their father’s repeated homophobic remarks at the dinner table, making him feel so ashamed and scared that he struggled to admit his sexuality even to himself. 

No, none of this had been acceptable. It could not go on this way any longer. Something had to change, and that something started with her opening her own heart back up to a sibling relationship with him again. 

His voice had broken under the stress, and he went quiet. She knew this was not by choice. His tone was cold as ice as he strained to make himself heard. “Get Out. Please.”

“Not yet.”

She stepped forward to snake her arms around him before he could register her intentions, and pulled him into a hug.

“What’s wrong with you? Let go of me, weirdo, and get out of my freaking room!” He tried to pull away, but didn’t quite escape her grasp. He could have, if he had truly wanted to, she knew. 

“I love you no matter what. You know that right?” She tried to put every ounce of sincerity she could into those words, desperate for him to really hear her and believe. Desperate to squeeze past those solid walls between them that they’d both been responsible for.

“Uh, yeah, sure, whatever.”

She released him, and stared directly into his eyes, needing him to fully understand. “There is nothing you could do or be that would ever make me love you less. I don’t think you understand what that means.” She smiled weakly, half joking but entirely serious as she continued, “I would bury a body for you. I would create a body to bury, to keep you safe. Something as small as who you love would never even faze me.”

He sucked in a startled breath. His mouth opened, but no sound escaped. Silence reigned for a number of moments.

Welp, that was probably more than enough vulnerability for the night for both of them. Small steps. She patted his arm awkwardly, then backed out of the room. “Anyway-” she rushed out, “Just wanted to let you know that. You can talk to me about anything. Ok, goodnight. Sleep tight, don’t let the bed bugs bite.” She shut his door in his face before rushing to her own room. She was emotionally spent, and embarrassed by her fumbling attempts to support him. She felt as adept as a newborn lamb. Hopefully something she’d done had gotten through to him.

Her sleep was restless, but when she awoke the next morning to a note under her door, her heart lightened considerably.

“You too - Mike”

|—---------Hug #2-----------|

For a moment, Mike could only stare. He was shocked speechless at the overwhelming despair in his sister’s voice.

“I didn’t know!” Nancy wailed, tears streaming down her face. He had to strain to understand her through the hiccuping sobs. “I didn’t. I didn’t know…”

He stumbled back a step when she collapsed against him unexpectedly. His arms instinctively circled her as she clutched his jacket sobbing into his shoulder. 

“I- I just wanted to be a rebellious teenager for once in my life. I didn’t mean to kill her. I didn’t! I promise. Please.” She was begging, pleading to some unknown God or being to relieve her of all the guilt and pain, yet unwilling to part from it if they did exist. She didn’t believe herself to be worthy of the release.

Mike had no freaking clue what to do. He hadn’t even been present for whatever triggered the start of this breakdown. He’d found her staring at a bleeding hand, glass covering the kitchen floor at three in the morning, not moving. Her eyes stared vacantly, even as her head turned in his direction at his entrance.

“What’d you do?” he’d asked,originally more tired and grumpy than worried at the sight of the mess. 

It took a moment for her to react before all hell broke loose and she completely fell apart. It became quite clear quite quickly that Nancy was not grounded or aware enough to talk out of it. She was lost in her own world of pain and memories, and it was all he could do to keep his arms around her as she shook. 

His brain kept fumbling as it attempted to adapt this scene into his understanding of his sister. She was always so uptight and bossy. She worked hard at her job and at school, and he’d always been a little jealous of how well she’d handled everything since the first Upside Down incident. He’d never seen her cry. Not since she first learned about Barb's death. 

He’d always assumed that she had moved on. She’d worked towards justice by taking Hawkins Labs down and then lived her life. She never seemed scared when monsters attacked. She became quieter after, in some ways, but that was all he had noticed. 

The girl crying in his arms on the kitchen floor was not that unstoppable girl. She was broken and small, and so overwhelmed. He held her as the sobs eventually sputtered off to quiet weeping, and then finally silent stillness. She wasn’t asleep, that much was obvious through the tension still present in her body. She didn’t say anything, just sat there, unmoving. 

At some point. He gently pushed her back enough to see her face. Her eyes were dull and unfocused. She’d detached from reality in an entirely different way, exhaustion shining through easily. Seeing her then, after truly coming to understand how not ok she was, it scared him how familiar this expression was. He’d seen it hundreds of times, not always so overt, but still plain to see. Except he hadn’t seen, had he. He’d glossed right over, taking it to mean anything from disinterest to simple tiredness. He’d assumed that Nancy’s pain would look like his, and when it hadn’t, he’d never looked deeper. 

After who knows how long, he eventually guided Nancy back up to bed, before finally stumbling back to his own. His original goal of a midnight snack was long forgotten. Despite his own exhaustion he didn’t sleep, simply stared at the ceiling, lost in thought. He didn’t know what to do with this revelation, but he did know he would be far more observant of his sister than he’d ever been before. 

#sorry for the long wait #I was originally going to create more of the story around these two incidents but that just didn't pan out how I hoped #hope you enjoy! #wheeler siblings #nancy wheeler #mike wheeler #stranger things #st #hints of #byler

[weixuldo]

Never Forgotten// ch 8

Vader x F!Reader

(A/N: ILL BE OFF MY HURT COMFORT BINGE SOON DW, but the slow burn is finally starting to spark!!! also if u get a chance i’d love ur input on the question in the a/n at the end!)

You comfort Vader after his fight with Obi-Wan and he has some revelations

Warnings: cursing, nightmares, emotional trauma, injury description

Wc: 1830

__________________________________________

You requested he had at least a week to recover, which the emperor surprisingly agreed to. He needed to heal physically and emotionally.

You moved him to his room, which he never really got much use from. You spent each moment with him, letting him work through his thoughts, changing bandages, and just keeping him company. You wanted him to get better so he could be back to himself, but you enjoyed being able to spend time with him.

The more you were around him the more your heart hurt. You were beyond falling in love, now your heart was pained by how much you yearned for him. But everytime you were close to telling him how you felt, your fears of rejection and the unknown held you back. You didn’t know if your heart could handle it if he rejected you, so you settled for this limbo.

Presently, Vader was lying in his rarely used bed, pristine sheets covering his lower half. Today you helped him put on his arms since their repairs were finished, but you left his legs off because they needed more fine tuning. He was without his mask and left only in undergarments to allow his wounds to breathe. He slowly began providing details about his past and how he and his former master split.

“I tried to tell him that from my perspective, the Jedi were evil. They used me for years, they used him, but he didn’t want to hear it” Vader spoke from his bed as you walked around his room.

You understood their relationship was an intricate one, you understood Vader’s hatred of his old master, but you could also feel his pain. He truly cared for Obi Wan.

“After the incident on Mustafar, I could not rest until I found him. He did this to me. He took everything.”

You could see from his perspective and Obi-Wan’s. Anakin was taken advantage of and to him, Obi-wan ruined his life. But it was his own actions that led to many complications in his old life. And Obi Wan should have payed more attention to Anakin’s shift and been there for him, but he was only following his morals, just as Anakin was.

You walked over to him and placed a gentle hand on his cheek, he stopped talking and met your gaze. The frustration and pain in his face subsided momentarily. He placed a metal hand on your forearm as you thought about how to comfort him. Slowly, but swiftly you wrapped your arms around him and rested your head in the crook of his neck.

“Well, I’m here if you need anything” you whispered, tightening your grip.

Vader was caught off guard. You were embracing him, comforting him. His heart began to flutter, thank the stars he wasn’t hooked up to the vital machine or else it would be beeping like crazy.

He slowly leaned into your touch and lightly placed his steel appendages around your waist. He relaxed and breathed in your calming scent. Lavender mint with a dash of sea breeze.

“Thank you, F/N” he said to you, as you rose from his side.

He debated risking it all just to tell you how ethereal you were. But he was too afraid. How could you come to love someone as vile as him. He was fearful of your response. He lost everything he held dear, he didn’t want to lose you too.

If he only knew.

You smiled at him, “always.”

The more time you spent with him the more you noticed the yellowish hues in his irises had subsided. What was left were the eyes of Anakin.

Your Ani.

You got back up and began meddling with some stuff on the desk. “Do you ever tire of being the fear striking Lord Vader?” You asked.

He laid his head back onto his pillow and stared at the ceiling as he let out a sigh.

“I am contempt with my duties, though sometimes I tire of the cowardice everyone shows in my presence.”

You giggled, “Well you are pretty intimidating Ani. The first time we reunited you almost choked me to death”.

Though you were lighthearted with the statement, he cringed. That incident deeply troubled him, how could he do that to you?

His F/N.

“And for that I am more regretful than you know, F/N. I am truly sorry.”

He was beyond ashamed of the incident and quickly steered away from that conversation.

“Do you remember the soup my mother used to make?” Vader asked as you turned to face him.

“Of course I do! It was only the most delicious thing in all the galaxy! I especially liked when she’d shape the bread that went with it into tiny animals.” You beamed reminiscing about the delectable meal.

“Wow, I did not expect you to remember it so fondly.” Vader quipped.

“I remember Watto craved it so often he made me try to recreate it. Obviously I never could get it quite like the Shmi Skywalker” you responded.

He smiled to himself, this past didn’t hurt to remember.

“Oh! What was it? Do you remember what your mom used to say about us? she used to say it all the time” You asked, you remembered what she said, she said you two would be married. You always blushed when she would tease, but it made you feel happy every time she would. You just wanted to know if he remembered it.

He rested his hand over his mouth and laughed. “That I do. How could I forget, “Mrs. Skywalker” he teased.

You stopped in your tracks, he was always a smooth guy, but damn, you forgot how much of a tease he was. You blushed, but hoped he didn’t notice.

“Yes, she always did say we would be wed” he chuckled to himself.

Masking the excitement the best you could you agreed, “Yes! That’s it, that’s what she said! Haha, how could I forget? I mean we were the best looking pair in Mos Espa.” Now it was his turn to blush

“Indeed” he said, he could feel his lungs working overtime to compensate for his fast heart rate. He could feel himself wheezing.

You quickly picked up on his discomfort and grabbed an oxygen mask to place over his face. He thanked you and focused on regulating his breathing. You nodded and began to start the nightly routine of cleaning around his ports and rubbing the ointments into his skin.

This routine had become quite comforting for the both of you. He loved to feel your gentle hands over his battered body and you loved just to be close to him. __________________________________________

You spent the last two nights in his room, sleeping on a chair close to his bed so you could monitor him periodically throughout the night. The chair was not comfortable whatsoever, but you would sleep there if it meant helping him in any way. He seemed to have nightmares, but he never woke up because of them. But tonight was different.

Around midnight you were awoken by heavy breathing and thrashing. You cracked your eyes open and dimly saw Vader fighting in his sleep. This nightmare was different though, he was muttering a string of “No’s”and “Please’s”. You walked towards his bedside through the dark of the room, you began to sit by his side as he shot up.

He winced at the sudden movement and gasped when you placed a hand on his shoulder. Instinctively he initiated the force to protect himself. You felt your air passage cutting off, before he noticed it was you. He immediately released his hold and began to pant, “sorry! I-I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m-“.

He was shaking violently, you didn't care about what just happened, you understood having instincts, nothing to apologize for. “It’s ok Ani, It was a dream, You’re ok”

You drew him into your chest as you held the back of his head with your hand. He desperately clung onto you and burrowed his face into you. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry” he kept repeating.

You held him tight and ran a hand down his back soothingly, careful of the saber burn near his shoulders. You let him cry into you as you comforted him.

“It’s ok Ani, It’s ok.” You cooed as he began to calm down. “Do you want to talk about it?” You asked him, tilting his face towards yours.

He hesitated before shaking his head. You were too pure to be burdened with his fears. You nodded and continued to hold him, his steel digits grasping at the fabric of your nightgown.

After he calmed down you began to head back to your chair before he grabbed your wrist.

“Wait. Please don’t leave me.” He pleaded. “C-could you lay with me?”

Of course you would. You would do anything for this man.

You nodded and hopped in under the covers next to him. You turned on your side to face him, but before you could roll all the way over you felt his tight embrace around you. He breathed you in and sighed into your hair. He felt safe.

“Ani, are you sure you’re alright?” You asked, turning in his arms to face him. His eyes were clenched shut, but slowly softened and opened to look at you.

“Now that you’re here, I am.” He said once before closing his eyes again. You rested your head on his broad chest and welcomed his warmth. You felt happy. You provided him comfort and if you couldn’t be his love, at least you could be something to him.

After a while you shifted to having your foreheads touching. He had descended into sleep once more, but he still had a comfortable grip on you. You admired him secretly as you peeped open your eyes. He looked so peaceful, so beautiful. He was always a beautiful boy, even now just as he was.

Without thinking you tilted up to kiss his forehead. The sensation of his scarred face felt different on your soft lips, but it felt good nonetheless. You felt comforted by his presence. If you could just stay like this forever, playing house in your mind. You wanted this to be your new normal, you wanted-__________________________________________

On the other end of the kiss there was Anakin. He wasn’t fully asleep, he was waiting for the chance to gaze upon your sleeping face. Instead he felt your lips on his face.

Your lips.

He could have melted on the spot. There was such a tenderness to your kiss, he could feel the way your breath hitched once you backed away.

Were you nervous?

No, he’s the nervous one here.

Was it possible that you harbored similar feelings to his own? Could you care for him in the way he did for you?

No.

He couldn’t. He didn’t know if he could open himself up to love again. Yet he heard a small, distant voice in the back of his mind, “Go ahead, let her in, Ani.”

Padme.

She gave him her blessing to move on. She encouraged him to go to you.

He was free.

***

(a/n: okok yes comfort overload, but i think i have an idea for the ending. Idk how i’m gonna intertwine it with the cannon end tho :/ ngl, i don’t wanna add luke and leia, but what do u guys think?)

taglist: @dokoni-mo , @the-official-memester , @wizardofrozz , @guinea-pig16 , @jar-of-moondust , @stxrrielle , @katsukiswrld , @eskel-adores-lilbleater , @yvette-ace , @lordfishflakes , @venus-armote , @emuxmu , @msblazer , @organasith , @loversjoy , @khaleesihavilliard, @sxoulchvn, @madeleine-w , @abby-22 , @astra-1780, @hyojin-2579, @lollaa-puff, @ayothatsano, @alexandra900925, @arelisskywalker , @mara-brekker

#sw darth vader #darth vader x reader #darth vader fic #darth vader #darth vader x y/n #darth vader x you #darth vader fanfic #vader x reader #vader x you #vader x y/n #y/n #anakin #anakin x you #sith anakin #anakin skywalker #anakin x reader #anakin x y/n #anakin needs therapy #star wars fic #star wars fanfiction #star wars x reader #sw fic #sw #sw x reader #never forgotten #my writing #star wars

[ladyintree]

@warpainte   /    taissa never thought of herself as impulsive;  she had a plan for everything and a very specific calculation for every step of the way,  no room for error or for changing her mind.  that included today —  her wedding day,  the day that everyone in her life had raved about that was supposed to be the best day of her life,  to marry her soulmate,  her person,  her one true love.  those words rang through her head bitterly,  a dark cloud looming over her as she realized she was making a mistake.  it shouldn’t have been a mistake,  it was part of the plan. she’d found the perfect woman who was like a ticket to the rest of her life —- something stable, something good.  something that didn’t have baggage because tai didn’t intend to carry hers into it;  she could truly just be,  start anew,  finally say goodbye to her trauma for years ago as if marrying some woman who wasn’t a part of it was going to erase it all from tai’s conscience.  

that’s what this was supposed to be—- one person to save her from everything that weighed so heavily on her.  not just the trauma from the wilderness,  but the love she still felt for the woman she was with back then.  mikayla never truly left her mind,  no matter how much tai had convinced herself that she didn’t matter to her anymore.  mikayla had to be a part of her past,  she didn’t make sense in her future and any life shared with her meant never truly moving on from the wilderness.  at least that’s what tai had assumed, too afraid to try anyway, because they’d already been through enough hurt,  and it felt easier to just accept that it was the end of them   (  even though that was never easy,  and it still isn’t,  because even on the day she’s supposed to marry the perfect woman,  mikayla’s the only one on her mind.  )  

you’ve found your person.  she doesn’t know how many times she’d heard that in the past few months,  but each time,  it made her feel smaller.  she did, it’s true — but her person wasn’t here,  and tai couldn’t force it with someone else,  no matter how hard she tried or how much she convinced herself that it would all fall into place eventually if she just accepted this as her life.  that was supposed to be easy,  but thoughts of mikayla had become overwhelming, and that was the real irony —-  mikayla was the person who used to calm her down when her mind raced too fast,  mikayla was the one she’d turn to feel like herself again,  to ground her,  to remind her what mattered.  maybe it would be easier to try to tie herself to someone else if she and mikayla ever truly got the closure they deserved,  but they didn’t,  because what was supposed to be the most relieving thing in the world had separated them not only by distance or by goals,  but by who they were,  because tai was desperately to reclaim her old life again,  and she had no idea what really happened with mikayla after the fact.  she heard the news,  she was swallowed by her own guilt of not being there,  but she never did anything.  it didn’t feel right, solidifying her new life with someone else without ever doing something.  the least mikayla deserved was some kind of closure.  but that’s not really what taissa wanted,  and she understood that the moment she thought it.

there’s no real reason for mikayla to take her back, not after tai had basically vanished,  even as mikayla was arrested,  even when mikayla probably needed her more than ever,  but taissa justified it by mikayla never reaching out herself,  assuming they were both supposed to be moving on.  what they had in the wilderness is likely what kept them both alive,  and not having it in the aftermath is what made taissa feel like she didn’t actually make it out.  she didn’t feel alive,  she barely felt like a person,  like she was just going through the motions,  speed-running through her life to get it back to where it was supposed to be before she lost it and her time in the wilderness took so much away from her.  she thought all that mattered was getting back to that and moving forward,  even if it meant tying herself to someone else who she could never love in the way the woman clearly deserved,  but that felt okay to taissa,  because she could justify it knowing she’d still treat her right.  but none of this was right,  not marrying her,  not the thought of leaving her today of all days,  and not the thoughts that have festered in her mind not only for the last few years, but even worse the last few weeks:  she was still in love with mikayla desousa,  and she always would be.  there was no escaping that.  there was no ignoring it, or burying it, or pretending it wasn’t real, because it was.  and as awful as it made her feel to leave her fiancee on their wedding day, she knows she’d regret marrying a woman who wasn’t mikayla,  even if mikayla would never actually take her back.

she deserved a conversation, a warning, but tai was afraid that if she let herself have that conversation or see the other woman at all,  she’d crumble, change her mind, and force herself into a life that would never make her happy.  she had to just go.  she raced out of the venue with no plan in place;  she didn’t change, she didn’t grab her things, she didn’t even know where mikayla was, but she knew who would — the one person she’d hoped not to see on this day.  she offered misty no explanation and no apology for giving her no invite to a day that had already fallen apart anyway,  and she refused to take her up on her offer to drive her to her destination.  this wasn’t about anyone else —  she needed to see mikayla alone.  and if she slammed the door in her face, at least then she’d know.  and she’d worry about the rest later,  the fallout, the abandoned fiancee, her reputation.  for once, right now, the fallout did not matter to her,  only focused on reuniting with the woman she loved.  

walking up to mikayla’s doorstep,  taissa hadn’t even processed what she looks like now:  still dressed in white,  the end of her coat train scoffed up from her travels,  her hair lightly tussled from the wind.  her eyes were surely bloodshot,  the lack of sleep reminding her of days when sleep had been the most terrifyingly uncertain thing for her to face,  made better only by the woman who was next to her each night.  she can’t dwell on it all;  all she can do is smooth out of her suit jacket and her hair and prepare to see someone who might have already sworn her off.   on the doorstep,  she waits for a moment,  straightens her posture,  takes a deep breath,  and collects herself.  mikayla fell in love with her confidence, and tai searches for it now,  hoping that the smile on her face isn’t filled with sorrow and regret and guilt, but rather something more familiar to mikayla — love.  she knocks on the door and prays that mikayla doesn’t hesitate,  because if she waits too long,  everything tai has done wrong and every impulsive choice she’s made today will hit her all at once,  and she’ll crumble from the weight of it all.  she just has to see her,  nothing will be okay until she sees her.  

the door opens,  and tai freezes.  a million things run through her mind — an explanation, an apology, a confession.  none of them come out.  suddenly,  everything she’s thought of saying the whole way here leaves her,  and all she can do is greet her in the most casual way she can think of.   ❝  hi,  mikayla.  ❞

#warpainte #priv: young adult. #replies. #hi. with the intention of posting this starter before you wake up #good morning <3

[justmeinadaze]

Inside of Her Head (Steve X You)

A/N: This is just a little thing I wrote real quick. I'm actually experiencing this right now with my brain going a mile a minute. I literally spent 15min telling my roommate I don't want her to leave my side because I'm afraid something is going to happen to her or she's going to leave. My therapist says that's my inner child...some stuff we've been working on *sigh*. But my roommate suggested I channel this energy into something creative and thus you get this...this is what I wold love rn. Steve just holding me till I calm down and then watching a movie with me till I fall asleep <3.

Warnings: Reader experiencing an anxiety (manic) attack; Steve helps her through it

Word Count: 803

Steve comes home from work to a spotless apartment and he’s immediately on edge. Most people would be happy to come home to a clean space but not for him. When the home is this organized, something is wrong. 

“Y/N, baby? Where are you?”

No one responds but he knows you’re here, promptly going on the hunt. It doesn’t take him long to find you sitting on the bathroom floor with your knees to your chin and your hands twirling your hair as your blank eyes disassociate through him. 

You two have prepared for moments like this; you warned him when he moved in. It still doesn’t take away the guilt that bubbles in your stomach when you finally notice him as he places himself on the floor cross-legged in front of you. 

“Hey, Stevie. When…When did you get home?”

“A couple of minutes ago.”, he answers softly as his eyes continue to scan you over. “How was your day, honey?”

Your hands shake in front of you as your fingers seem to drum the air, moving without any real thought as your anxious eyes sift through memories. 

“It was good. It was good. I-I-I cleaned. I had only meant to clean the kitchen but then I thought you would want to relax in the living room when you got home so I tidied up in there but then I noticed your movies were out of whack and I thought it would be fun to organize them buy genre for our next movie night. When I finished that, I was going to lay down and nap but I couldn’t stop thinking about how the bathroom has been really messy lately and you know how I’ve been slacking on that…”

Steve listened to your rambling with the patience of a saint. Your lips were moving a mile a minute but he didn’t need to follow everything to know what was going on. Some days your brain just wasn’t 100%. Some days the medicine didn’t always help or something triggered an episode for you that had you like this. 

You tried explaining it to him before but he never truly understood until he experienced one with you himself. You sobbed on the bedroom floor, crying about fears that he would never allow to happen. He didn’t know you during your trauma so he couldn’t be there for you then but he could definitely keep you safe now physically and emotionally. 

“Baby girl, look at me.”, he cooed as he placed his palms out for you to take, grinning when you did. “I want you to inhale for me. That’s my good girl…and exhale. Good.”, he soothed as his thumbs tenderly massaged your skin. 

“Everything got so loud, Steve. I couldn’t…”, you shook your head as the tears fell before he scooted a bit closer to where you were.

“What triggered it this time? Do you know?”

You shook your head again. 

“I just…had this voice in my head…that says I don’t deserve you. That you’re going to leave me here alone just like everyone else. Today…it was so loud…”

“It’s ok, sweetheart. Breathe in again for me…and out again. Good, pretty girl. You’re doing so good.”, he smiled as he reached up to caress your cheek before taking your hand again. “Y/N, I love you so much. I’ve never met another girl like you in my entire life. You are beautiful, sweet, so talented and so smart, baby. There’s no one in the world more perfect for me than you. I’m not going anywhere.”

Once your breathing had slowed, Steve collected you into his arms and held you to his chest as he kissed your forehead. 

“I’m sorry I’m such a nuisance. I don’t mean to be.”

“You’re not, honey, I promise. Your parents are the nuisances…making you think you aren’t enough. You are more than enough, baby. You’re everything to me and I’m always going to be here to take care of you.”

You two sat like that till your anxiety passed and you finally felt safe. After kissing his lips, he guided you into the shower where he cleaned you and washed your hair before putting you in your most comfortable pajamas and carrying you out onto the couch. 

“How about I make some dinner and we watch something EXTREMELY violent?”

You giggle as he widens his eyes and you nod. While he’s making dinner, he brings you your favorite drink and turns on one of the sitcoms that makes you laugh until everything is ready. 

“Steve. Thank you…for everything. I love you to, baby.”

Tilting his body to kiss your lips, he playfully rustles your hair and throws a blanket over your legs. 

“You don’t have to thank me, Y/N. I’m always going to be here for you; good days and bad.”

#steve harrington #steve x reader #steve harrington fluff #steve harrington stranger things #joe keery #joe keery fluff #steve stranger things #stranger things #steve harrington blurb #one of those days #i just want to be held #anxiety is a bitch

[mysticaldeanvoidhorse]

A Chance at Love

Part 2

Jensen x Reader

Summary:

Having been legal guardian to your niece for almost a year, you land a job on the set of Supernatural.  You become good friends with Jared, doing his makeup everyday but when Jensen gets back from a small break, are you able to stick to your oath to keep your heart closed?

tag list: @streets-in-paradise​ @nancymcl​ @lyarr24​ @hobby27​

tag list open :)

Masterlist

page breakers curtesy of @firefly-graphics​

​

“Auntie!”  Your niece came flying at you from the pickup line at school.

“Baby!”  You dropped down to scoop her up.  She became very clingy in the last three months.  She was still young but you figured the trauma was starting to hit her that her parents really weren’t coming back and so she clung that much more to you.

“I colored, and learned more letters today!”  She began to tell you all about her day at school, and you were thankful she liked it so much.  She was such a good girl and you were so thankful for her even temper.  Something from her father.  Her sassiness came from her mother, your sister.  Though she could be a force to reckon with, it was nice to see your sister sometimes.  It kept her alive.

“That’s amazing, Morgan, tell me more.”  You had her buckled in and went home.  Once there you explained to her your new job, how you would be playing “dress up” with people for them to be on tv and she was captivated.  She loved doing makeup, something she got from you, at least you took credit for it.

     “Good morning baby, it’s time to get up”  You said the next morning.  It was your little routine you had begun almost a year prior and it was beneficial for both of you to find some consistency, even in a morning routine.

“I don’t want to, Mommy.”  She mumbled.  It both made you happy and sad to hear her call you mommy.  She was three when her parents died and she understood the idea of them but the memory was fading, and so she switched back and forth with calling you auntie and mommy.  You didn’t know how much to try to correct her, because really, you were her ‘mommy’ now.

“I know, love, but we gotta go.  Promise to tell you all about my first day playing makeup with everyone after school today.”  You tried to entice her.

“Okay, but can I stay home?”  

“Not today, sorry baby.”  You didn’t have any day care, her parents didn’t need it and you didn’t know any good babysitters because her grandma used to help before she passed shortly before her parents so it really was just the two of you.

You got her up and going, had a quick breakfast, and left for your first day.

     Once at the set, you got your pass and quick tour, but it was already 8 so the set had been bustling for hours.  You wanted to get here earlier like most people, but you had to drop Morgan at school so it wasn’t possible.

“You must be Y/N”  A kind, middle aged woman said to you, once you entered the makeup trailer.

“Yes I am, you must be Carol.”  You shook hands.

“Yep, and I have been here since day one so trust me when I tell you, the rules they tell you can mostly be thrown out the window.  Schedules change, and you find your own groove so honestly, do what you need and we will find our groove.”  She told you.  You were thankful for her helpful guidance, and she didn’t seem at all threatened by a new member.  It was mostly her for a long time your position was a glorious assistant but would mostly be on level footing with her.

“Thanks, I will be thankful for the guidance.”  

“Happy to help.  By the way, speaking of helpful, you should be aware that pranks are a must around here at this point so once the actors find out more about you, just be prepared.”  She laughed like it was a good thing.

“Oh, um I guess I will have to keep my head down then.”

“Nonsense, we are a family here, and you will soon be comfortable around us.”  She seemed genuine and you appreciated it.  You were just trying to not drown in both your personal and professional life.

     You ended up talking to Carol for a long time, getting to know each other.  She had a way about her that made you open up like you’d known her forever, and she was almost like a mother, though too young.  You quickly understood that she had that effect on everyone.  So no surprise, by the end of the day she knew all about Morgan, and the situation surrounding her.

“So I apologize in advance that I may have to leave to get her.  I want to try to find someone, like a nanny or something but I can’t afford that and I’m not sure how she would like that or if it would be good for her.  I just don’t know.”

“Oh hon, I get it, my kids are in highschool but I remember trying to figure out carpool and all that.  I would love to meet your little girl sometime.”

“She really is an angel.”  You couldn’t help but smile.  You were there when she was born and knew you’d die for her.  Not the best choice of words, but it was true.

“Good, then sometime we will have to meet.”  With that, you went back to be taught how the trailer was set up.  You were thankful your first day was just being allowed to figure out how it all works.

“Goodnight, Y/N, and make sure to check your schedule!”  Carol called out to you.  You were amazed at the kindness of this woman.  And that she was a little pushy, not in a bad way but she knew what she wanted and what was for the best.  And you couldn’t help but smile and know that she would be good for you.

#a chance at love #supernatural #Supernatural show #supernatural fic #supernatural writing #supernatural fanfic series #jensen ackles x reader #jensen ackles x you #jensen ackles x y/n #Jensen Ackles #Jensen x You #jensen x reader #jensen ackles fanfiction #jensen x reader insert #jensen x y/n #jensen fanfic #fanfic

[kuromochimi]

My Savior, My Demise

KMG Hanma x Reader x Brahman Draken || Chapter 1: Heal Me

♡ Saving lives was top priority. You were a doctor. Time was of the essence. Each life that slipped through your grasps was a lesson learned. All until you met a man who always came to you wounded and bruised. Not until you couldn’t help but heal not only his wounds but his aching heart too; His need for touch and affection but nothing more than that.

But unlike saving lives and healing physical aches, you didn’t know trying to fix a broken man would take you to a path you never wanted to take. Never knew it would bring you a kind of pain no surgery could fix.

Main Masterlist | Taglist Form

WC: 1.4k+

Content & Warnings: last arc spoilers, angst, fluff, medical setting, mentions of wounds and blood, guns & gangs, drugs, eventual smut

If your high school self would get a chance to look at you now, she’d probably be ecstatic. Standing in front of a mirror in the change room, you, wearing fresh, blue scrubs. It’s always been your dream to become a doctor and after years of grueling tests, books, scut work, you’ve finally reached your residency. Unfortunately, it’s not as exciting as all those shows portrayed it to be, but you expected at least that much anyway. There really is no romanticizing all the blood, gore, and tragedy that goes on inside a hospital, much less one that is known for getting loads of trauma patients on the daily. Despite that fact, your days still felt like a routine. Sure, there were a few instances when a freak accident ended up falling into your care but other than the occasional bizarre cases, everything played out as you expected it to. Up until today, that is.

When you started your shift, everything seemed normal. It was somewhat unfortunate for you however, that your area just so happened to be the usual place for gangs to do their business which meant dozens of gunshot injuries and scary looking dudes. Not to say that you didn’t enjoy your job. You signed up for this after all. You just never liked and understood what gangs were for and why the fuck they had to do what they do. It angered you how they usually got civilians caught up in their fights. “You’re on trauma again?” one of your co-residents asked. “Yeah, it looks like Doctor Ikeda wants me to take up a fellowship with her with how much trauma experience I have now��� ; “Well at least someone’s out to mentor you”. Your conversation was cut short when you were called. “Doctor l/n, trauma 3” With a quick nod to your colleague, you left to attend to the patient assigned to you. The EMT in charge gave you a brief description of what happened and how the patient was. Once you reached the area for their treatment, you were a tad surprised at the view that greeted you. The man was sitting up well on the hospital bed as he gripped the area near his shoulder. He looked rather… unfazed by his injury which wasn’t a usual thing. You’ve treated more than a couple of those menacing gang members but none of them looked as relaxed and nonchalant as this one did. “I’ll bleed out and die if you just keep staring at me, doc.” a light nudge from the nurse brought you back to your senses. “Right.. Sorry about that Mr.….”. You momentarily checked hius chart to look at his name “... Hanma. Mr. Hanma Shuji.”  With still a tinge of shock, you started checking on him, cleaning and assessing the wound and how to go about his case. “The bullet went through and the bleeding has been controlled. Externally, nothing else seems broken or injured but we’re going to have to take you up for an x-ray, just to see if anything else is going on internally.” He nods. Everything goes about smoothly and fortunately, no other complications were presented upon further examination.

Just as you were preparing to leave to go home, you were suddenly summoned to the hospital chief’s office. With worry threatening to spill out of your eyes through the form of tears, you entered the office, trying your best to contain your anxiety about what could have possibly happened for you to be called in. “Doctor l/n, sit.” Without a single breath, you followed the instructions. “I was told that you treated a gunshot wound today, correct?”. You didn’t trust your words to work as they should so you only nodded to confirm his statement. “Right. And you’ve been working in trauma for a while since you became a resident, haven’t you?” Another nod. “Then why is it that you didn’t report the incident to the authorities?” With the reason behind your summon finally being revealed, your face drains of color, heart sinking past your feet all the way to the ground. “Look, I understand. You’re tired and I know it’s hard work being in trauma all the time and being a doctor in itself is already draining enough as is much less one where you have to deal with what you deal with when trauma patients come in but this can’t happen. The hospital is responsible for things like that regardless of who the doctor in charge was.” You mumble your apology without attempting to look up. You had no excuse. “I’ll let it slide for now. But make sure this never happens again else I might have to ask you to be relocated to a less busy hospital” After a couple more reprimanding and apologies, you finally made your way out of the office and eventually, the premises. Out of your mind, you unconsciously found your way to D&D motors. The neon led signage atop the small structure was turned off and “closed” was hanging off the front entrance. Ignoring all that, you pushed past the glass and aimlessly walked towards the back rooms where Draken probably was. “Ken? Are you there?” a soft rustling and sounds of clanking was heard before a deep, familiar voice answered. “Yn? Is that you?” ; “mhm”. The man had to literally duck to be able to get past the small doorway from the storage room. “What’s up?” He spoke while dusting off his hands. Upon seeing his familiar face, one very much detached from your work and one that reminded you of just being dumb college kids having fun, you couldn’t help but let out a soft, almost muted sob. Everything just came crashing down. What happened at work earlier that day, that one child you had to pronounce dead a week ago, the long list of studies you had to read. Without uttering a word, he enveloped you into his warm and tight embrace. Draken was a very good childhood friend. You met him in middle school when you were seated beside each other. Two quiet kids just got along and clicked and more than a decade later, the friendship remained. He was one of your few very trusted friends. He just had one rule that you had to abide by throughout your years of friendship: You couldn’t under any circumstances ask and involve yourself in his gang and other related matters. He never once spoke about his friends there or gang generally. You only ever got to meet Mitsuya, one of his closest friends, because he offered to make your prom dress for a really cheap price. You knew why he had that rule. He wanted to keep you safe, prevent you from even knowing the names of who he had to face off. You didn’t even know which gang he was in. Safe from the subtle curiosity from time to time, you had no problem abiding by it. It’s worked for the longest time after all.

After spilling your guts out about what’s been going on with you, you finally calmed down. That evening, you both waited for Inui (who you suspected was another one of his friends from his old gang but you never asked) to come back from errands before preparing and eating dinner. Draken thought it would be best for you to stay the night to which you immediately agreed. You were grateful for the two of them who always extended a helping hand, gave you a place to find comfort in whenever you were stressed with school before and now work. D&D motors was more of a home than any place you’ve resided in.

The following day, despite sleeping fairly late at 11:00 pm the night before, you woke up feeling well rested. Trying not to wake the two men sleeping on futons on the floor, you quietly took a shower, got dressed, prepared breakfast, and left a note for them as a reminder to eat breakfast before work. Ironically, despite wanting some excitement from time to time, you just wanted the day to go as it always did. With a routine you were familiar with and without having to interact with a patient that apparently distracted you enough for you to forget that you had to report his injury to the authorities. It wasn’t your fault you were so shocked to see a patient so careless about his injury that he was even smiling widely when you met. Unfortunately for you, your routine days were about to be mostly gone because before you even got to step foot into the hospital, on the train on the way there, someone approached you from behind, a tall, warmth inching closer to you, leaning his head on your shoulder to whisper “I need your help, please, doctor.” You looked back to find the very patient you treated the day before. Hanma Shuji

Taglist: @youpieceofwasabi​ @rizakari​ @sunarin136​ @rinrinfoxy​ @uselessnumber​ @the2ndl​ @adeptusnunya @ubbjwi​ @narxiso​ @lostsomewhereinthegarden​ (If I missed tagging you, please lmk! or fill out the taglist form instead)

a/n: This fic is very much overdue. It’s been hard to find writing motivation and inspiration lately but after months of writing this fic little by little, I finally mapped out how I want it to go for the next couple chapters.

#hanma x reader #hanma shuji #hanma smut #hanma fluff #hanma angst #hanma scenario #Tokyo Revengers #tokyo revengers x reader #tokyo revengers fluff #tokyo revengers angst #draken x reader #draken fluff #draken angst #draken smut

[nightingaleflow]

Hey :) could you do Gaara x fem reader one shot where she is pregnant and tells Gaara that they’re expecting 😍

I certainly can, anon! <3

Word count: 859 Warnings: Pregnancy, brief mention of morning sickness, anxiety, references to past trauma. A/N: Gaara would be the best dad, even if he needs a little convincing, bless his heart. <3

~

You scurried around the penthouse, looking for something to keep your mind and hands busy while you waited for Gaara to come home. Unfortunately, you’d already done pretty much everything that needed doing. The dishes were dry and returned to their shelves. The bed was made. The floors were vacuumed. Every shelf, piece of furniture, and trinket you could find was dusted and polished. You considered cooking dinner, but the thought of potentially smelling something more potent than a piece of bread was enough to turn your stomach. And you’d done plenty of that for the day.

You tried to sit down and just relax, but your nerves pulled you back to your feet a moment later. Sitting still just wasn’t an option. So you settled for pacing in a circle through the whole penthouse, silently praying that Gaara would somehow be home early.

Finally, after what felt like a hundred years, you heard the front door click open. You made a beeline for the entryway. “Welcome home, Gaara,” you said.

He smiled at you as he hung his Kazekage robes on the rack. “Thank you,” he said. “It’s good to be home.”

You stepped closer and wrapped him in a tight embrace. He sighed in your arms, and you felt him relax as he returned the hug.

“How are you feeling?” he asked as he pulled back.

“A little better,” you said. “I went to the doctor today.”

“And? Did they find something?”

“Yes,” you said, twisting your wedding band.

His seafoam eyes grew concerned. “What is it?”

You gestured toward the living room. “There’s something I need to talk to you about.”

Some of the tension returned to his body, but he nodded.

You took his hand and led him to the couch. Your stomach suddenly filled with butterflies taking flight. Why hadn’t you rehearsed this part? How would he react? Would he be excited? Nervous? Speechless? Some combination thereof?

You prayed you wouldn’t get sick before you could tell him.

The two of you sat down. You wrung your hands, struggling to form the words. “Gaara…” you started.

When you hesitated, he gently took your hand. “What is it, my love?”

You swallowed, then sat up a little straighter. “Gaara, the reason I’ve been feeling sick is because I’m pregnant.”

Several moments of silence passed as the words sank in. Then his eyes grew wide. His mouth fell open in astonishment as he looked from your face to your belly and back again.

“You’re…” he said.

You nodded, smiling as you protectively rested your hand on your belly. “We’re going to be parents.”

The next thing you knew, Gaara threw his arms around you, pulling you tightly against him. He rested his head on yours. “I can’t believe it.”

“Me neither,” you said. “The doctor had to repeat herself a few times before I understood what she was saying.”

Gaara tilted his head down and kissed you. “I’m really going to be a father,” he said, dazed.

You chuckled. “You are,” you said, your face glowing. “And I’m going to be a mother.”

He looked back down at you and pressed another kiss against your forehead. 

You felt warm as you closed your eyes, savoring the affection. Then you paused as you felt something wet hit your face. You opened your eyes to see tears streaming down his face. “Gaara?!” you asked, alarmed.

He wiped his eyes as he pulled away. “I’m sorry, my love,” he said. “I…”

His voice failed him as he searched for the right words.

You reached up and tenderly stroked his face. “Gaara, it’s ok. It’s just me.”

“My love,” he whispered. “I don’t want you to misunderstand…I’m ecstatic, but…”

You nodded. “Go ahead.”

His voice shook. “I’m also terrified.”

“What?” you asked. “Why?”

He lowered his head, ashamed. “I was a monster for most of my life. I thrived on violence and bloodshed. No matter how much I’ve worked to move past that, it remains fact. What if I cannot be a good father?” he asked. “What if…I turn out like my father?”

“That won’t happen,” you said immediately.

“How can you be sure?” Gaara asked.

“Because I know you, Gaara,” you replied. “And you’re the most amazing man I’ve ever met.” You pulled him back and kissed his forehead. “You have so much love for your village, and for me. You work hard every day to make sure the village is thriving, and then still come home and do everything you can to take care of me. I can feel your love in everything you do.” Your own voice trembled. “If you can show our child even a fraction of that love, you’ll be an amazing father.”

Gaara pressed his hand over his mouth, choking back a sob. “Thank you. I’m sorry…this should have been a happy moment for you.”

You stroked his hair as he wept against you. “It is,” you promised. “There’s no one in this world I would rather have a child with than you, Gaara. I’m the happiest woman alive right now.”

A small smile finally appeared. “And you make me the happiest man alive.” 

~

Tag List: @justmyownreality @therantingfangirl @mrsbakashi @starnightcat @anchy-bananchy @therozpoz @hashira-mal (if you would like to be added to the tag list please let me know)

#Gaara #Gaara x reader #Gaara x you #Gaara x y/n #Naruto #Naruto fanfiction #Gaara imagines #Naruto imagines #ask nightingale #anon #nightingale writes