#trauma thoghts

[ryderdire]

Curious anyone else have this weird thing where they feel like everything they get for themselves has to have a use or else it’s a waste like you can’t buy things just cuz they make you happy

#ryders rambles #mental health tag #it’s not about #wanting things #adhd thoughts #depression thoughts #trauma thoghts #I have no idea which werid part of my brain is causing this so I’m tagging all of it #needs vs wants #self care #anxeity #actually adhd #does anyone else relate #and does it have a name #wants and needs #mental caboodle tag

[matoitech]

idk if it was just the ppl i knew in particular but all the ppl i know who engaged with fighting (and like REALLY engaged not like briefly) w the like transmisandry morons instead of blocking their stupid asses and saying yeah this is stupid and moving on has ended up developing like really weird and bad views of trans men bcuz of it and internalizing MORE transphobia towards themselves which is kind of weird to me when so many of those MRA boys were just like the worst guy youve ever met or sometimes straight up a troll. idk if other ppl have witnessed this happening too or just the ppl ive known but i think abt it sometimes bcuz some of the effects it had on ppl made me both feel bad for ppl and also like. i think maybe you need to go to therapy and not say that shit about trans men in public or at all preferably bcuz good lord

#i dont know like i thoght we all knew these ppl were idiots and not worth engaging with so it like #having a legitimately horrible effect on ppls engagement w an entire community and way of viewing trans men #or like ur own transmasculinity (i dont identify w that term im just a Guy but yk other ppl do including the ppl i knew) #is like . prety crazy! that sucks a lot of ass maybe you really need to disengage #bcuz some of these ppl started being kind of transphobic and blaming it on their trauma association and like . uhh

[greggorylee]

i miss my real parents :T

#having the younger in age but older in time existing alters more active is good but also haha lifetime unprocessed trauma goes bbrrrrrrr #this post didnt go anywhere there was mold in my applesauce yhis morning and it made me not eat all day #usually we dont post thoghts antmore so u can tell the oldies are waking up

[youaremysunshine-court]

Oh so I started watching wynonna earp and it really is just gay supernatural

#also i jave lots of thoughts about dean wynonna parallels and the dofferenced in portrayal of trauma when its a man as opposed to a woman #and also the sass and snark and the different reactions to it by other characters when its from different genders #also how even tho wynonna has a lot of the same guilt dean does shes momore emotionally open and what does that say about societal #pressures and conditioning #yeah anyway #i have multuple thoghts on this and im only 2 eps in

[rzyraffek]

Imagine slasher going on his classing killng spree but he see kid treated badly/kid being sad. Its pure platonic

Slasher trying to comfort kid

'Trying' but hes are very akward. There is dailogue and its colored: slashers the kid . The ghostface one is funny while yautja is more cute! she/her pronouns Requests open

Ghostface

He was in silly goofy ah mood, so he went on killing spree (again)

It was some funny party with a lot of drunk teens and loud music

Kids older sibling probably did a party and she got scared of loud music and went crying in her room

After killing some people ghosty need a breather and just went into random room to clean his knife or something (idk i never been on killing spree)

And he just goes into this room and sees some kid crying their eyes off. "Uhhh what is kid doing here? I thoght im irresponsible but-" he got cut of by kid crying/venting how the people downstairs where mean and making fun of her :(

"Zamn kid thats though.. anyways idc cya" in fact he doest not care, police will be there in like 10min he doesnt have time to some child venting in general pls."are you going to kill me mr ghosty :( " "ayo you calm yourself down, aint no way in hell im killinng a kid"

He wont kill her ofcofc (reason? No reason t all :) )

After all killing spree stuff police still didnt come (either nooone called it or its American police so they are riding from difrent state or something) he will go check up on her, yknow if shes still crying :(

"Uhhh yep shes still crying ehhh do you want tea or something?" *nods* "god zamn Im a babysit now apearently"

Ghosty will probably smoke or something (babysitting kid is stressful) "my sister says that guests cant smoke inside :( " "yo sister dead(it is a joke he did not say that maybe he did say that )"

He wont let her go downstairs? Theres litteral crime scene over there?? Yall ever wached any movie?? This trauma would be start of her revange arc or something

Yaujta

???why is there human puppy randomly alone in middle of nowhere???

"Uhhh em child? Where are your human perents" ":( they said I should wait here" "uhhh *looks around* wh when did they leave you???" " it was morning when we went here" "uhhh its afternoon"

He cant just leave her here come one

But his place on earth is temorary he cant Just take her to ship

He will try to find her perents but it doesnt work he will take her TOTALY temporary to his ship and give her some food

Even if hr would find her perents, he woundnt be very pleased of what he sees, they clearly dont want her and they indeed try to abandon her

Turns out he accidently got attached and adopted her

Will melt if she will call him "alien/space dad" its so cute!

(I used x reader tags just to reach bigger audience, nothng sus happening here)

#slasher x reader #yautja x reader #yautja #ghostface #ghostface x reader #cute slasher headcanons #wholesale #slasher headcanons

[gofancyninjaworld]

Hi, not sure if this had been asked before, but I'm curious about your opinion. Assuming he won't die during a battle, how long do you think Genos will live? I think a lot of people view him as some (semi) immortal being, who will surely outlive Saitama. But somehow I always thought the opposite, like isn't living in a combat cyborg body puts a lot of strain/stress on your brain? There's probably a significant brain disease development risk. I'm not a doctor or anything, obviously, just my thoghts 😅

Also, another similiar question: how long do you think it took Genos to fully adapt to his cyborg body and be ready to use weaponry?

No, it's not been asked before. This is the sort of question that really is above my paygrade to answer seriously, but let me take half a stab at it. Remember that I am oversimplifying a very complex subject matter horribly.

When you take all of life's insults out of the equation, and even inherent matters like genetic defects out too, then what governs ultimate age is a race between how long the fabric of our body lasts and how long our key tissues can self-renew for. The fabric of our bodies, the extracellular matrix that comprises the scaffold of our tissues is generally laid down ONCE! and then it just gets repaired as best possible but never renewed. Our lungs are generally good for about 110 years to give one example and likewise, our other tissues have a limit to how long they last. The other side of the equation, self-renewal, is especially critical for blood cells. When super-aged people die (110+ years), typically all their blood cells are found to be clones of what was literally their last hematopoetic stem cell. The upper estimate of how long a human being can live runs somewhere between 120 -125 years, but no one's been attested to have made it to 125 years yet (see note 1).

That's under perfect conditions. There are many many things that shorten lifespan. Trauma and infections are obvious ones, as are non-infections diseases, environmental exposure to harmful materials, and cancers, but chronic stress is a huge, huge life shortener. Whether it comes from the mere fact of being socially disadvantaged, difficult to resolve emotional or psychological distress, a sense of isolation, a sense of irrelevance (huge killer of older adults), a part of illness or starvation, ongoing financial difficulty, whatever its source, all of it accelerates ageing, depending on how intense, how prolonged, and when it comes into one's life. The right kinds of stressors can steal lifespan before one is even born, but again, that's outside the remit of this ask.

So, let's get to Genos. If tomorrow, his problems were to be resolved satisfactorily and he's in a good place socially, financially, and emotionally, how long could he live? A big part of that depends on what body he has. If he has 'only' his brain, then his life expectancy is on the order of 1 - 2 months as there's no possibility of renewing the all-important blood cells. But if that were the case, leaving the lab for more than a few days at a time would have been impossible. If he's built on the same sort of terms as Erimin and Destro (with just under a tenth of their bodies left), then he may have enough body to self-maintain and self-renew and then he'll have the regular constraints of a human life, barring any accident due to being a cyborg.

But there's more. Stress-wise, Genos has been burning through his lifespan at a terrifying rate. It doesn't help either that he grew up poor -- childhood poverty is a big thief of lifespan. Hard to say, but if things get better for him soon, somewhere between 50 and 70 years should be achievable, if nothing goes wrong. Which is not bad for a guy who was supposed to have died at 15.

And say what one likes, no one can accuse Genos of taking tomorrow for granted.

Asides

A reasonably accessible review on the matter https://www.nature.com/articles/d41586-022-00070-1

The influence of childhood experiences last a lifetime https://www.nytimes.com/2001/05/07/us/nuns-offer-clues-to-alzheimer-s-and-aging.html

Increasingly, you'll not just hear of lifespan, but healthy lifespan, the length of time one can expect to live before experiencing life-limiting chronic illness. There, environment and social standing make a huge difference. For example, in England, people living in the least deprived areas can expect nearly 20 years more healthy life than those in the most https://www.ons.gov.uk/peoplepopulationandcommunity/healthandsocialcare/healthinequalities/bulletins/healthstatelifeexpectanciesbyindexofmultipledeprivationimd/2018to2020

A more popular (https://www.apa.org/monitor/2014/10/chronic-stress) and more scientific (https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3428505/) overview of the influence of stress on ageing.

Finding a reasonable article on the influence of the extracellular matrix (the scaffold that makes up our tissues) on ageing and organ function that's neither woo nor excessively scientific eludes me for now. In the meantime: WEAR SUNSCREEN! EVEN IF YOU'RE BLACK! Your skin will not recover from the extrinsic ageing of sun damage and your future self will thank you.

#OPM #asks #Genos #how long will Genos live? #In short: hard to say but no longer than a regular person at best #that's life! #he's not sitting around fretting about how short his alloted life might be #but is living every day to get as far as he can with the things he wants to achieve #and that's probably a healthier way to go about it than existential worry

[sayakxmi]

[Magi reread] Night 29: Slave

Gdi, I really want to rewatch the Magnostadt Arc, like, you don't get it. I'm in the MOOD. But I promised myself to go more-or-less chronological. Like, it's one thing to kinda jump from one thing to another in some arc, but I want to rewatch the entire thing, gdi, Saya, why do we do that to ourselves.

I'd say speedrun Morgiana Arc, but it's not that much of a speedrun, plus I have a few thoughts.

But before that, I thought randomly about the Night 17, which is an almost-month timeskip. The timeskip where Alibaba does something pretty important, and Morgiana has some character development after a lifetime of being a slave, you know, some dealing with trauma... It didn't really ring a bell until a few days ago, when I was like. Wait. It's a trend. And ya bet I'll comment on the timeskips. But, man, it's already appeared so early!

I had to share this thought, now to the actual chapter.

All I wanted to point out that when Morgiana sensed something coming closer, she instinctively stopped this little girl. Imo cool characterization moment. Seemingly gently.

Yknow, for a kid in this situation, you're being very calm, little girl.

Nadja's from Balbadd! Still pretty cool that there's some of that info sprinkled here and there. Also, didn't Nadja mean Hope?

I checked, it does!

Totally random thought, I wonder if Nadja's supposed to be, like, a symbol of little Morgiana, yknow? Kinda cuz I noticed her side ponytail. And if that's the case, then tbh that's pretty cool, because this arc becomes a symbol of Morgiana saving herself. When she was little, there was nobody else to help her, but she's capable of it now.

Like I've said earlier, it's a damn good arc, but it's very isolated from others. Don't misunderstand me, it references stuff that'll come up in other arcs, but this specific arc won't be referenced much if at all later on. Which is a shame.

Kinda made me think how slavery isn't a thing in Balbadd, so maybe that's why she wasn't as freaked out. She genuinely doesn't understand what it means until Morgiana starts explaining it.

I am both curious, and at the same time, I'm not sure I want to know what Morgiana is saying.

Also, listen, I know I have a tendency to see mah boy everywhere, but I'm kind of wondering if it's the Same Face Syndrome or maybe it's just, like, how Balbadd people look. Seriously, Nadja reminds me a lot about Alibaba, when it comes to her face. It's also kinda cool, in general, bc Hope is also something associated with Alibaba and his Household. As in, according to the wiki, the name of all the spells there are a corruption of Amal, meaning hope.

Whoops.

Another thing I thoght abt is how... desensitized Morgiana feels. Tbh, I'm gonna guess she's dissociating a bit here, to focus on the situation at hand rather than get overwhelmed, which does sound like a defence mechanism she would've created under Jamil.

Mood.

But hey, the intentions are there.

Sad as shit, no surprises. But the fact that Morgiana sees herself in Nadja kinda pushes my "Nadja symbolises little Morgiana" agenda.

She's doing her best.

Same as before, she's trying.

Aaaand fake smile falls.

The next page is really sweet, but, like.

Did she kiss her forehead? ;;

Cat-vibe.

Nadja's sick & Fatima decided to get rid of her & I'm fairly certain this is the exact same thing that happened in SnB, like, disposing of a sick slave.

Aaaand there goes Nadja's sickness, I guess.

I wish Morgiana had more opportunities to emote so fucking much.

.

Finally. I have enough space in the post for Morgiana flashbacks.

I wish Magi characters had more opportunities to face their traumas. And also for that not to be timeskipped.

C minor, put it in C minor-

#magi #saya's magi reread #morgiana

[robiinjason]

(Truth & Justice #10)

THIS IS. A LOT

#jason todd #red hood #jonathan crane #scarecrow #bruce wayne #batman #truth & justice #toma reads comics #bruce's rejection being one of jason's biggest fears...... 😭 #is it foolish of me to hope for bruce and jason father/son-ism crumbs in the next issue. maybe but im doing it anyway #when the lil intro at the beginning skipped to the lazarus pit i thoght they weren't including the whole woke up in his grave thing but #NOPE THAT'S ANOTHER TRAUMA #if urban legends wasn't enough now i have one more jason related thing to fully lose my mind over #very curious to see where this goes but also. poor jason #also not related to the plot but thank u to the artist and everyone else involved in keeping the curls in his adult design. love that

[ughmybpdass]

I want to forget i want to forget i want to forget i want to forget i want to forget i want to forget

#bpd #trauma #just a thoght

[srbachchan1]

Day 187

Chowdhury bari, Burdwan       August 2, 2021 Mon, 1:20 am

Hello everyone ..

So the works and busy schedule of ONCs are ended up .. and now I am tired thogh but I realized and observed that it has been a long time not to tell you about philosophy .. so, let me give you some of my philosophy thoghts which are coming now from my mind and from peaceful brain ..

So the happiness , many people asks me in my massage inbox ..

" According to you What is the benefits of happiness ?" .. first of all , I don't know that why you asked this type of philosophical questions to a 15 years old boy !! but here is you answer ..

.. One of the factors fueling the Happiness Revolution has been the startling research in the past decade revealing the many benefits of happiness , benefits extending far beyond merely "feeling good" .. In fact , cultivating greater happiness can be seen as “one-stop shopping” for those seeking greater success in every major life domain ..

Scientific studies have shown that happy people are also healthier, with better immune function and less cardiovascular disease .. there is even evidence that happy individuals live up to ten years longer than their less happy peers !! In addition , happiness leads to better mental health, greater resilience, and an increased capacity to dealwith adversity and trauma ..

.. so ya , happiness is important .. hmmm ..

And also, There are some who believe that happy people tend to be shallow and a bit stupid , a notion shared by the French novelist Gustave Flaubert, who once wrote:“To be stupid, selfish, and have good health are three requirements for happiness, though if stupidity is lacking, all is lost.” .. Recent research , however, has proven this idea to be nothing but a myth, finding that happiness leads to greater creativity and improved mentalfunctioning ..

So there is no question that happiness brings tremendous personal rewards .. but it is also critical to point out that cultivating greater happiness benefits not only oneself, but also one’s family , community and society In fact, this is one of the key principles underlying The Art of Happiness, a principle supported by a growing body of scientific evidence .. for example, a stunning recent study has shown that happiness is highly contagious , spreading in social networks just like a virus ..

Other lines of evidence have found that happiness and positive emotions act as an antidote to prejudice, causing changes in the brain that prevent the instinctual bias against those we perceive as different .. ultimately breaking down the barriers between us and Them !!

The beneficialeffects of happiness extend to the broadest level of society ..

Another study, for instance, found that increasing the average level of happiness among the population of a nation will result in an increase in freedom and democracy in that country !!

Wow , so just think how beneficial and supportive Happiness is !! .. it's important in our life without this we will be traumatized and depressed .. so, it's important .. and ..

.. giving a smile now I leave ..

[ryderdire]

People seem to be only focusing on sashanne igoring marcys interests but we should probs talks about Marcys needs to

#ryders rambles #I’m not qualified cuz #✨trauma✨ #and I have no idea how to tell the difference between ✨emotional needs✨ and ✨beeing clingly✨ #Amphibia #amphibia analysis #thoghts #Marcy wu #half baked thoughts of a bird #might use that tag more lol #Amphibia spoilers

[studylustre]

I know you absolutely adore A Thousand Splendid Suns and although i have yet to read that one, in particular, i have just bought his other book And the Mountains Echoed and were wondering if you have read it?? And if so what you thoght about it, and if not if you were/are considering to read it?

oh!!! i’ve been meaning to read that for the longest time but i haven’t yet just bc i hear it’s really sad (just like all his books ahdksns) and idk if i’m ready for that kind of emotional trauma since i STILL haven’t recovered from the kite runner. my friend, who is an avid hosseini fan and was the first to recommend me his books, loves it but hasn’t finished it bc he’s struggling to deal with how sad it is ahsksj. he did say it's amazing tho!!

#im loving these asks lately!! y'all are asking such cool questions #answered #beachbondfire

[frannys-used-tissues]

White-washing or plot device?

I did not want to start this blog with a post like this, but I just feel so alone in my frustration and really need an outlet. In the following rant I will try to remain coherent while explaining my problems with a Chinese movie that chose an American male lead to tell a patriotic story about Chinese women: The Flowers of War.

So. Usually after finishing a movie and basking in its afterglow for a bit, I turn to the interwebs for a quick search. Firstly I check out imdb for trivia and credits (I like useless information and knowing who made the art I just enjoyed). I was a bit taken aback by the generally negative feedback there, since I myself found the film to be beautifully crafted and detailed, with an unusual focus, very strong cinematography and a tone that generally pulls people in (overly dramatic with emotional background music, heroic characters and the inocent victims of war as its main focus). Yet, when I switched to rotten tomatoes, and read a few random reviews from really diverse sources, I just felt so sad and angry.

The usual aspect of the movie these negative reviews tend to point out is the white-washing that replaces the voice of the subaltern with that of a grown white man from the West, thus refocusing the whole story through his perspective and making it another one of those hollywood crowd-pleasers where a white guy goes to heroic lengths to save the poor easterners.

Now. I usually agree with the protest against this epidemic, but in this particular case I find it to be...... bullshit. Or rather: the enforcing of an ideology onto something that does not fit it.

In the following paragraphs I will use some major spoilers so if you don’t want to read about that, stop here.

I often ran into the argument that casting Christian Bale as the priest of the church where the girls take shelter is silencing the voice of the real heroes: the innocent schoolgirls and heroic women who were ready to sacrifice their lives for each other. I find that by saying this, the critique is exactly doing what they say they are against: they are refocusing the story to be about “father” John.

The story is narated by a 12-year-old girl who survives the masacre, it is the tale of two groups of women with very different backgrounds who, when faced with the unimaginable trauma of war, discover each other’s values and stand up for one another. The story is in fact about them. We learn about their backgrounds, see that they are more than the two dimensional image we are faced with at the beginning. They have real depth and they are all unique. The very touching last words of the movie told by Shu who survived this hell are even reflecting on their gained trust, respect and intimacy: even though she cannot remember all of the names and faces of the prostitutes, she will never forget them. We have heroic male and femail characters as well, who are all just trying to save themselves and the values thay stand for: the soldier fights for the lives of the women and children, George keeps the promise he made to the previous priest, Shu’s father works to save his daughter, Mo tries to save Shu and the schoolgirls and with them the ideal of the girl she could have been. Shu tries to save their dignity, Dou and Lan go after their valuables: the earring and the strings, etc. All of them are imagined complexly, it is unfair to say that the movie focalizes through John, while forgetting the other characters.

Also the argument that writing the father as an American character  is unnecesary and robs the movie of the chance of telling the story of chinese priests - is unnecessary and suggests that the viewer did not pay attention to the conflicts of the movie: during the raping of Nanking no chinese man can be spared, be it a soldier or a priest. The foreigners are excused for diplomatic reasons (eg see the flag John waves to prevent Japanese soldiers from killing him) so really: imagining the father as an American is just a necessary and (I have to say) clever way of defusing the trap this story cold have had. The foreign man is the tool which makes the heroism of these women possible. He is the facade for the real story. John is not there to be a hero, he does not become a hero. He is there, because in these circumstances he is the only means to the most livable end.

Still, he is complicated and interesting. The whole purpose he is there is both a very cleverly thoght out plot device (he has the skill to save the girls by transforming the prostitutes to look like fourteen-year-olds) and an engaging character whom we see grow and change and find a reason to be alive. He does not sacrifice himself, because it would be pointless, yet he is powerless when faced with the sure death of the woman he came to love. He has to pretend untill the very last moment, he has (not to make!!!) but the accept the decision of the girls’ fate. So while he is not the main focus, he is still a complex and engaging character.

And I have to give credit to the film. While being almost too melodramatic and dramatised for my taste, it kept its focus on the characters, and never once let go of any one of them. It payed attention to all of them. We see the backstory and motives of them all, we find all of them lovable and endearing even.

Having said that, the movie is not without faults. It portrays agression and violence so graffically that it desentitises the viewer (I cannot really feel empathy when all I see is explosions), and often uses overly estheticised imagery and soundtrack. While the Chinese are heroic martyrs, the Japanese are often one dimensional, only portrayed as inhuman, cruel killing-machines. I imagine this has been somewhat accurate through the massacre of Nanking, but this lack of depth takes some of the scenes right into horror movie territory, robbing it of the usual complexity and giving in to the too easy binary model of good and evil.

tldr;

The movie is using a lead with priviledge as a facade to tell the story of the ones who do not have a voice. The plot could not have been possible without an American male character, the whole point (and main motif) of the storyline was this switching of places and roles. 

#film #diversity #white-washing #The flowers of war #christian bale #Nanking #storytelling #review #analysis #rant #Yimou Zhang #movie #Ni Ni

[love-advice-on-call]

hi! can I get your thoghts on this?: there are people I feel I could love very much, maybe for a lifetime but in the first place they don't attract me sexually (maybe I would even be embarrassed in front of them naked), and there are people who attract me sexually very much but I know I wouldn't love them forever, I just have a lust for them.

Well what you explained is just how some people have good personalities and how others just have their looks.  I’d only be concerned if you only see people in one of these two categories.  If this is just a little observation you made and about people in general then you don’t need to read the bottom paragraph and i’d say you’re fine and it’s just a normal thing for people to experience.

If you are thinking about people in only one of two categories then I’d recommend you try to get a firm bearing on what you really want out of a relationship by making a list of personal attributes: deal breakers, things you kind of care about in a person but not too big of a deal, and things that you absolutely don’t mind.  Then try to find someone who has a good amount of positive attributes for you and see if you like them.  Don’t force yourself to be with someone you don’t find attractive but don’t trick and tell yourself that they aren’t attractive just so then you don’t date them.  Just make a general effort to date.  Understand that this thinking generally comes from child hood traumas such as parents fighting, losing someone at a young age or not having them around much in general.  That’s just naming a few.  I also recommend you go see a therapist or a counselor at your school and tell them what you told me and they can help you work through this.

I wish you the best and feel free to write in again if you have anymore questions.

Posted 12/11/17

[ceratocampi-moving]

a summary of today;

emotions; blank. emotionless. no emotions. the color grey

work ethic; good. things are getting done.

willingness to confront trauma; exactly -17%

objective opinion of friends; accurate bc theyre? wonderful... th best... i lov them theyre good friends, the absolute best friends. kind. caring. thoguhtful. 

objective opinion of self; a bit off today. negative thoghts abt self that make no sense.

intrusive thoughts; Intruding. 

reality; feels fake but ok

conclusion; im in an emotional funk and need to Get Out, but should take advantage of my homework-donig status. must talk to chem teacher about ap bio. friends are The Best and are accepting of my flaws. i think i slipped out of character for oph a little bit earlier. her speech pattern is complicated

#ramblings #tmi #catchall tag