#trek through time

[trek-tracks]

"If They really were a God, They would respond to our pain as to Their own. I wanted to see if They really had that much divinity--or what the humanities take for divinity--in Them."

-Bones vs. God, The Wounded Sky by Diane Duane (1983)

"You doubt me?"

"I doubt any god who inflicts pain for his own pleasure."

-Bones vs. God, The Final Frontier (1989)

Bones' enduring perception of god as a being of complete compassion dedicated to the removal of pain and suffering--and his ability to confront said "god" if it doesn't live up to those ideals--is a perfect encapsulation of his character, and why he holds his oath as a healer above all else.

#star trek #star trek tos #leonard mccoy #bones mccoy star trek v #star trek v: the final frontier #the final frontier #the wounded sky #diane duane #star trek books #star trek novels #trek books #trek novels #jim kirk #captain kirk #what does god need with a starship #it's loving Bones hours today #trek through time #star trek parallels

[rainbowresurrection]

What I love about K/S is that it doesn't crumble under scrutiny. It just gets gayer

#I went through a re-study of it during pride month #i had forgotten just how much was there to unpack #six+ months later I am still unpacking #im noticing MORE content than i did the FIRST time I did this like. nine years ago. #yeah #spirk #k/s #the premise #star trek

[lemonemenom]

contrary to popular belief, y’all maybe don’t need to stand that close…

#star trek tos #james t kirk #james kirk #jim kirk #captain james t. kirk #james t kirk tos #Spock #spock tos #the original series #spirk #spirk tos #star trek the original series #Still doing the watch through #These people are so gay #If I worked with the #I would be tired #All the time #star trek

[vaguely-concerned]

Ever since watching The Wire for the first time, my brain has doggedly kept working away at the Especially the lies of it all, and specifically at how much the structure beneath the different stories Garak tells contributes to the overall meaning of what he’s trying to say. While the contradicting narratives of course expertly obscure the factual circumstances of his getting exiled, using them also allows him to tell aspects and facets of the emotional truth I don’t think he ever could have, if he’d simply told the actual story of what happened. (It’s very Varric-core of him honestly.)

The first story — the ‘oh, you think you know me?’ story — says I have done things that would sicken you if you knew any detail of it. It’s clearly meant to scare Bashir away so he’ll leave him to die shamefully in peace already lol. But it’s also one of his (probably much-needed lbr) little lessons to Julian that are so frequent in the beginning, given while Garak still has some hold on himself — “Don’t be so quick to forgive me if you don’t even know what I’ve done; what would you do if this really were the sum total of what I am?” (And Julian seems to surprise him by going ‘Well, exactly the same thing, because no matter who you are I am a doctor. But I sort of take your point.’)

The second story — the letting the orphans go story — says I have failed to smother my soul in its cradle when it was required of me, and I regret that more than anything I’ve done. To my ears this is the one most shot through with active self-loathing too, which is interesting. He’s officially lost the control he’s been clinging to and it’s about to get ugly. His TL;DR is ‘Sentiment is the greatest weakness of all’, even all the way back here. (Which is the one lesson Julian steadfastly refuses to learn, which I think in turn does some serious rearrangement of Garak’s soul over the course of the show haha. Get uno reversed into the process of loving and being loved without shame asshole.)  This is also where he builds up to admitting to having any sort of need for companionship or closeness at all and — so much worse — that Julian’s role in his life actually has fulfilled some of that need, and he’s DRIPPING with defensive venom over it b/c well I get it Garak vulnerability is scary it can take a person like that. 

(I also feel there’s something honest and forbidden in ‘Suddenly the whole exercise seemed utterly meaningless’. I suspect ‘actually… why the fuck are we even doing this???’ is not a welcome sentiment in an Obsidian Order water cooler environment, no matter what you’re saying it about lmao. The very first seeds of him deconstructing the things he’s been taught about Cardassia and his work might be hinted at here, though they of course take a looong time to come to any real fruition.)   

The third story — the ‘Elim was my best friend’ story — says hey, remember that thing you said once, about how sometimes, you have to be loyal to yourself before you can be loyal to anything else? Well. guess what. I couldn’t even be that lmao. It also furthers that thread of being divided from yourself, split, that having ‘Elim’ as a separate person around in all versions of the story brings in. He’s in control of himself again, but he essentially hands his life and soul over to Julian to decide what should be done with them. 

I’ve done horrible things and it finally caught up with me, I’m getting what I deserve → I let sentiment master me and the fact that I’m too weak to do what’s needed of me shames me more than the evil I’ve done → I fucked up. I betrayed myself and everything I held to, all for nothing, and I have no one to blame for it but myself. But it’s very nice that you’re here anyway, Doctor. (Wow. I didn’t realize quite how isolated and lonely that last one was before right now. The way Tain has shaped him really has just… locked him completely into himself, huh.) We can also see a movement through from a completely professional context in the first story, to an intensely interpersonal and internal context in the last one — even his fake stories spiral in towards intimacy, which I think is what he longs for here even if he can’t quite like. Touch that without the stories as a buffer yet, it’s clearly like touching a hot stove for him to interact with it too directly. 

And you know what I find incredibly interesting the whole way through? Even on his deathbed, where he’s dying from the thing Tain had put in his head, he’s protecting Tain. He puts all the blame for where he is on himself (‘My future was limitless, until I threw it away’), even if he has to employ a strange twisty logic where he’s split himself into two to do it. Don’t get me wrong, Garak has done horrific things all on his own haha, but it’s notable that he almost isolates Tain from that. ‘Tain was the Obsidian Order. Not even the Central Command dared challenge him. And I was his right hand.’ Tain in Garak’s stories is this infallible implacable weirdly distant figure, even now. Indeed, as will make a lot of sense with the revelations further down the line, more than anything it seems the gaze of an abused child desperate for recognition looking up at an idealized (if not in any way nurturing) parent.‘He was retired at that point; he couldn't protect me’, Garak says, as if what he’d need protection from in the first place isn’t Tain himself lmao, as if Tain had no active part in any of this. He never lets blame touch Tain at all. At this stage he would rather consider himself a broken flawed tool than accept that the hands that have wrought and wielded him have ever had any fault in them. AND in the middle of it all, with plausible deniability, on death’s door and knocking meekly to be let in before he must finish the mortifying ordeal of being known and test the even more daunting possibility of being loved, Garak at the same time manages to drop the breadcrumb trail of clues to make it possible for Julian to find Tain if he so chooses and gets in the ‘sons of Tain’ thing too for future dramatic irony purposes. Truly he is the Michelangelo of lying. Every falsehood a multifaceted masterpiece. Elim ‘achieving a state of intertextuality in real life is possible if you work hard and believe in yourself’ Garak. I love him so much. 

I think all of this is why “I forgive you. For whatever it is you did,” works so well, because it too works on a structural level. It’s such a deceptively multilayered response — it has the syntax of a joke, in a way, and it is kind of funny even under the circumstances, but delivered with such earnest warmth and fondness. It’s both recognition and acceptance (forgiveness!). It’s saying ‘I finally understand enough of what you’re trying to tell me beneath and through all that, in whatever way you’re capable of, I see you’ and ‘my answer hasn’t changed (bitch)’. The forgiveness Julian offers here is complete — on principle, and out of personal feeling and empathy (only one of which Garak deigns to respond to during the second story, where he calls it ‘smug Federation sympathy’, placing it more completely on the principle side than it probably is. ‘Dude you’re my friend please don’t just lie down and die in a completely avoidable way on me, who else is going to not only tolerate but actually gleefully enjoy me being annoying as fuck over lunch’ seems to be the subtext that’s a lot harder to acknowledge and invite in for both of them. And yet Tain seems perfectly clear on the fact that Julian is Garak’s friend, which, y’know. Must be fun living with the knowledge that Tain has eyes everywhere looming over you every day haha guess you’d just have to tune that out.) 

Most of all — ’Don’t give up on me now, Doctor’... and he didn’t! He didn’t. Augh. Ow.

#garashir #elim garak #julian bashir #star trek ds9 #ds9 #star trek #ds9 meta #S2EP22 The Wire #alternate title: baby's first brush with unconditional love through unreliable narration lol #I'm not sure I got to say everything I want to in this/found the exact right words in places or hit all the nuances #but god help me I so desperately need this out of my brain to free up some disc space so go forth little meta haha be free #I'm sure I'll come back to you in time #meta #enabran tain #(derogatory)

[betashift]

@pscentral event 20: antagonists

MICHELLE YEOH as mirror!PHILIPPA GEORGIOU in STAR TREK: DISCOVERY (2017-2024)

#trekedit #discoedit #philippa georgiou #discovery #discoveryedit #startrekedit #star trek discovery #tvedit #scifiedit #she's an evil emperor and an evil secret agent she's fierce and strong and sexy and graceful she's bisexual she loves one (1) person #she's an antagonist turned ally she traveled to another universe AND through time she's getting her own movie!!! #WHO ELSE EVER DID IT LIKE THIS

[youngpettyqueen]

Julian and Keiko headcanons because Keiko gets sidelined so much and deserves the world and I wish we got to see them interact more

when they get stumped on their respective projects, they'll do late night work sessions together and bounce their research off each other to see if the other can help them figure out where the problem is. they'll do this in person when theyre both on the station, but also over call if one of them is away, and after the O'Briens move back to Earth

they edit each other's papers (Keiko marvels at Julian's ability to spell out complex chemical compounds with his eyes closed, and somehow use 'their' instead of 'there') (in his defense he wrote that bit at 4 in the morning after going 2 straight days without sleep) (she threatens to sedate him)

Julian sometimes brings back plants from planets they explore in the Gamma Quadrant and gives them to Keiko. sometimes he does it because the plant has medicinal properties and the two of them can do a joint research project, but most of the time he does it just to give her a nice gift

when Miles goes away for particularly dangerous missions, Julian will keep Keiko company and help keep her mind off of it. sometimes she has trouble sleeping because shes so worried, so he'll hang around and start rambling on about whatever he's currently working on until she falls asleep. he jokes he's boring her to sleep, but it actually means a lot to her

they have a weekly tea date. this is their prime gossip time. sometimes Jadzia is invited

when Keiko's mad at Miles she'll rant to Julian about it. Julian learned very quickly that this is not a time where advice is wanted, so he sits back and lets her get it all off her chest, because she really just wants someone to listen and let her blow off some steam

Julian makes a concentrated effort to learn more about plant husbandry and care after the incident where he accidentally killed some of Keiko's prized plants because he actually does feel very bad about it

Julian hovered over Keiko nearly as bad as Miles did when she was pregnant with Kirayoshi (and then he hovered over her even more after the pregnancy transfer, and he wouldnt tell anybody why, but Keiko knew it was because nearly losing her shook him up pretty bad)

when Julian gets outed for being augmented, Keiko goes to him and gives him the tightest, warmest hug he's ever gotten in his entire life

Julian gets invited to girls nights with Keiko and Molly (steady surgeon's hands make him the best one to paint nails) (he pretends to complain but he loves it)

anytime Julian has to go away for a scientific conference of any kind, if he gets to bring someone with him, his first choice is always Keiko

in short: theyre besties they told me so themselves <3

#star trek: ds9 #julian bashir #keiko o'brien #seriously theyre both scientists you can do so much with JUST that #you cant tell me they havent helped each other reach breakthroughs in their research #Keiko brings Julian a couple plants that can be used to help make a vaccine because she read his research and recognized what he needed #Julian gets so excited he picks Keiko up and spins her around and calls her a genius and kisses her on the cheek #another time Julian is reading through Keiko's research on an endangered tree shes trying to keep alive and struggling #and he realizes he can synthesize something in his lab that will help #and Keiko hugs him so hard she nearly takes him to the floor #I know in my heart theyre besties #well. im an O'Brien polycule truther but I wanted to focus on Keiko #because Keiko doesnt get enough love

[randomthunk]

Can androids achieve a soul, and other such things I think about because of Data.

#star trek tng #star trek #the next generation #data #data soong #kat arts #fanart #was feeling kind of uninspired like I flew through the con items so quickly and then just kind of ran into a wall #and I'm like I NEED to draw something but what #scrolling through my refs/inspo folder and saw some images from when I did my Inktober St. Francis piece and I was like #'hey yeah this is something' #anyway now time for my 10 part seminar of 'Catholicism and Star Trek' wait come back

[bumblingbabooshka]

My name is [BRUTUS] and my name means [HEAVY] so with a [HEAVY] heart I'll guide this dagger Into the heart of my enemy

Something about having absolutely no choice in who you marry. About being literally forced by the law to spill blood - to accept this stranger as your husband over a man you truly care for or accept the fact that the man you love might die because you put him in danger. Something about risking becoming the wife of a man you've never even seen before a few minutes prior because you know anything would be better than putting your beloved in harm's way. Something about the trust inherent in that decision and in the way she speaks of it after. Truthfully, T'Pring doesn't know the captain and she doesn't know Spock. Either one of them could have taken her as their wife but she does know Stonn. She knows that Stonn will remain by her side no matter what. They made a plan together. They have an agreement which T'Pring believes will be upheld even though the plan changed with the arrival of Kirk. Stonn will always be there, always, and Stonn will be hers. Something about the language used around T'Pring: Ownership, subservience, non-personhood. T'Pring is an object that Spock can win. She cannot reject him, she has no say in the matter other than having Stonn 'claim' her instead. Even when Spock leaves after being very clearly rejected by T'Pring he says "Stonn, she is yours." as if despite her clear rejection he still owns her and is must formally 'give' her to Stonn. But the language T'Pring uses around Stonn is a break from that: "There was Stonn who wanted very much to be my consort, and I wanted him." Stonn who wanted very much to be HER consort and she WANTED him. The language here is very particular - It's not, for example: "Stonn wanted me to be his wife" - he is HERS. And she WANTS him. There's a mutual affection there and a strong trust - a trust which seems to be well founded since Stonn (though silent) stands by her side at the end of the episode. <- That might seem small but if Spock would reject her for 'daring to challenge' (again, the language is not 'because I don't want you' but more of an implied disgust at her having the AUDACITY to reject him) then it's not a stretch to assume that it'd be considered an insult in the TOS Vulcan society to NOT choose Stonn as her champion after a prior agreement. Anyway T'Pring was a woman in an impossible situation within a society which saw her as more of an object than a person and she wanted Stonn and Stonn wanted to be hers and she trusted that he would understand if she had to publicly pick someone else to ensure his life would be spared and he did understand.

#amok time #T'Pring i s....T'Pring she....-puts my head through a wall- #PLEASE read under the cut for my rambling about T'Pring in amok time pleasepleaseplease #tired of 'T'Pring is evil/a bitch' and VERY uninterested in 'T'Pring is a girlboss' #T'Pring is a person in a society which doesn't think she has the right to make her own choices who's in [love] with a man who [loves] her #back in what I'd like to think is implied to be a slightly subversive way in its mutual and fervent nature (whether the writers thought #this was a good or bad thing - who knows. We know better RIGHT??) #and yes I will stylize T'Pring's hair differently every single time I draw it HEHEHE #star trek tos #Spock #T'Pring #also of COURSE something something spock/kirk & stonn/t'pring parallels: To keep your beloved safe you have to force someone else to kill #theirs - not BC you hate him (you don't) but you don't love him either and why does HE get to have you even if you don't want him?? Why doe #he get to 'give' you to the person YOU chose?? It's not a hatred on a person level (which I wanted to portray with the 'brothers') portion #but a sort of societal embodying. #I will think about T'Pring not wanting to be 'the consort of a legend' every damn day !!! #They really could have laid it on thick in making her evil guys...T'Pau even makes a comment about Spock's 'vulcan blood is thin' #but all T'Pring says is that Spock is a legend and she doesn't want that for her life. She wants Stonn. #And you're gonna sit there and you're gonna tell her that she's wrong!??? Spock doesn't even want to be with her!! Why is she so hated!? #CAN WE FREE MY GIRL??? She did all that but it's being read in the worst faith possible!! #comix #bea art tag #star trek art #She literally says the word 'FREE'...she's TRAPPED!!!

[isagrimorie]

Star Trek Voyager 4E09 - Scientific Method

The Janeway Moment for Seven of Nine. (The First of Many).

Part 1, 2

#star trek voyager #voyager 4x09 #seven of nine #kathryn janeway #scientific method (voyager) #voyageredit #my edit #janeway at her most unhinged #and winning #seven is so intrigued and FASCINATED #this captain moment became seven's core memory #something has fundamentally changed in seven #and she doesn't know what it is yet #but janeway driving voyager straight #through TWO pulsars #and calling the bluff of the alien scientists #the borg queen could never #theeee moment seven's allegiance from the borg shifted #to captain janeway #and knowing it or not at the time #the first time in her life she's ever felt attraction #also one of the things why jeri ryan #is such a good actor #you can see her still acting in the background #the moment janeway orders tuvok to keep going #you can see that pique seven's curiosity #her attention shifts from the scientist to janeway #and seven just doesn't stop staring at janeway #captain janeway FASCINATES seven of nine #star trek edit

[aspiringnexu]

Something I've never really understood is people comparing Star Trek and Star Wars. Not only because the genres are so different (sci-fi vs sci-fantasy) or the fundamental difference that is the absence of Earth entirely in the Star Wars universe (Star Trek is meant to be about a recognisable, if improbable, future, whereas Star Wars is a Space Opera a Long Time Ago and Far Far Away).

But the biggest difference I see is that the two are set in fundamentally different times.

Yes, yes, I know that's obvious. I literally just pointed out the 'Long Time Ago' bit, but bear with me.

Star Trek is set in a time where exploration is still the order of the day. The Alpha quadrant is still being explored, new species are still being discovered. The Beta and Gamma quadrants are the big new frontiers. The Delta Quadrant has one very hazily mapped squiggly line with a few gaps thanks to Voyager but even that small portion was chock full of New Things. The Galaxy is still divided and unknown with new stations and trade routes popping up all over the place.

Meanwhile Star Wars is old. Real old. By the time of the Clone Wars the Republic has gone through different eras. There was a golden age. It has come and gone already. Sure there are still the Unknown Regions but it is fairly fucking rare to come across a brand spanking new space-faring race or rival government. Coruscant as the heart of the Republic has not been outright attacked for a millennium by the time of the CW. The galaxy is such a hot mess of a melting pot that only the truly reserved and isolationist species are rare to see. Humans have been buggering about and propogating so much that now its impossible to tell where they actually all came from because Alderaan? Naboo? Corellia? All major human hubs, but you could say the same about dozens of other planets, and as far as anyone can tell, at least some of the near-human species are almost definitely genetically related to humans so there has clearly been enough time for some natural evolution after the space travel.

I just find it so interesting that people try to compare them when they are at fundamentally different stages of galactic development. Its like comparing the Wild West to the modern day. The galactic governmental structures and attitudes are so amazingly different and that is to the franchises' strengths.

Star Trek is about, at its most basic point, exploration.

Star Wars is about, again at its most basic, adventure.

Sounds similar? They are similar, but whereas in Star Trek the New Things are new, in Star Wars they're new to those characters, or at least new to the audience.

Kirk and Spock are exploring the unexplored.

Luke and Han and Leia are having adventures in an already clearly established society. They forging new paths in an already defined environment.

They're both also, coincidentally, fighting evil Space Fascists but that's just par for the course. I think something about space just Does That. The Void inspires assholes to go 'I can conquer those stars!' only for said stars to pull an uno reverse in the shape of a blond kid with little to no self-preservation skills but a knack for flying spaceships.

Something something space something something sci-fi.

TL:DR Star Wars and Star Trek are different on so many levels but the most interesting one is the fact they're represent galactic civilisation but at different stages. The 'fun, exploration, everything-is-new!' stage, and the 'established society including rampant corruption, unfortunately' stage.

I love 'em both.

#star wars #star trek #meta #galactic civilisations have stages #Star Wars went through its own Star Trek period with the Hyperspace Wars #Wish we could get more material on that time period tbh #A time when “Punch it Chewie!” could have sent them careening into a fucking star because nobody mapped that bit of space yet #Plus the Jedi as an institution has been pottering about for 25000 years #Though I suppose it would be more accurate to say the Je'daii Order did #The Jedi as they became technically started a bit later after that whole Schism thing #I know an unhealthy amount of Star Wars history #To be fair #Its very interesting

[trek-tracks]

When you spend so much time together that you take on each other's mannerisms.

Tomorrow Is Yesterday / The Lost Years by J.M. Dillard

#star trek #star trek tos #leonard mccoy #jim kirk #mckirk #trek books #star trek books #tomorrow is yesterday #the lost years #jm dillard #this scene in the book is so entertaining until it absolutely goes for the angst jugular half a page down from here #trek through time #trek parallels #bones mccoy #captain kirk #just something i slipped on

[ffcrazy15]

I need a whole fic where the Cerritos is mistaken for the Enterprise by some type of alien with very high intelligence but very poor visual recognition, for whatever reason.

And Freeman either can't or is too scared to convince them that they're not the Enterprise, so she starts desperately assigning everyone to various roles. Boimler gets assigned as Data, and since he and Mariner are the only people on the ship who play string instruments, the captain orders them to put together some sort of "symphony" because the aliens have heard that that's a thing on the Enterprise.

And it's just Mariner and Boimler frustratedly trying to figure out how to combine her electric guitar skills and his traditional violin skills into something suitably "symphonic" (i.e. thematically trying to combine her more lax/modern way of doing things with his more strict/traditional way).

#star trek lower decks #marinler #lower decks #I NEED these two playing music together #also Stevens gets assigned to play Picard and is way too into it #goes a little mad with power and ends up being the episode's main antagonist #they forgive him in the end though #Ransom is Riker obviously #Mariner gets assigned to play Troi and has a fun time pretending to read people's thoughts and they just have to go along with it #Rutherford is obviously Geordi due to his implant #T'Ana plays Crusher on the basis that she is *technically* a redhead and refuses to elaborate further when questioned #Shaxs is Worf and insists that his nose ridges are forehead ridges #Freeman is Displeased (TM) about having to pretend to be a lower-decker since there isn't a part for her #Tendi works the duty-shift with her and ends up helping her work through her issues about not feeling respected as a Cali-class captain #basically pointing out that success is relative and that she didn't succeed according to her family's standards either #but it doesn't matter because she loves what she does #who knows maybe I'll write it one of these days

[theshadowrealmitself]

Can we get more Spider-Man content? I’ve already read through all of the current ones, and I crave more. All of your posts are great and I’d love to see more of them.

I’d love to make more fun posts but I’m still recovering from being sick rn and classes just started back so I’ve been mostly suffering these past few days so my brain just hasn’t really been working 😭

But! I can leave this one thought for you:

Peter Parker working for Norman Osborn while he’s still an undergraduate and getting into a whispered heated argument with him when Norman a) takes one of Peter’s designs and unveils it without crediting him and also b) removes safety features from it to make it cheaper to manufacture it

Peter quits on the spot when he realizes Norman isn’t sorry for what he’s done and isn’t gonna make things right, and Norman threatens him with never getting to “work in this town again” and good luck proving those were his designs and Oscorp’s also keeping all of Peter’s other stuff that they’ve stolen from him

(This is about the time that Norman’s started taking the goblin serum so he’s just at absolute peak asshole™️ mode)

Within seconds of Norman telling Peter he won’t stand a chance against Oscorp’s legal team, especially as a broke college student, Matt Murdock shows up after sprinting towards them (his super hearing letting him hear the entire argument) to hand Peter his business card and let him know he’ll take his case pro-bono

#I know people say they spend a lot of time on tumblr when they aren’t doing okay #but I feel like I’m the opposite #if I’m making a lot of posts then there’s a good chance I’m in a good place to be creative #(or maybe I’m procrastinating something 😭) #also!! putting tags on reblogs helps me with creating posts 🥺👉👈 #it’s always great to either get feedback or to have someone add something that I can then add to #making a fun creative cycle #this ask feels like it came from my brain #especially with that spidey dream I had #I want to make more spidey (and Star Trek and aliens and DP) posts #but just getting through the day rn is taking all my energy 😭😭😭 #Spiderman #spider man #spider-man #Peter Parker #norman osborn #green goblin #matt murdock #daredevil #ask #ask box

[mistergreatbones]

Was talking about Star Trek with my parents cuz we’re lame, and I brought up Spirk cuz I’m infinitely more lame, and my nearly seventy-year-old father said “if anyone was *makes vague gesture*, it was Bones and Spock”

#“they bicker like a married couple #i mean so true but why would you think that without any prompting #god this sounds like the parents stop being homophobic cuz of johnlock thing #i promise it’s real it’s literally midnight as I’m typing this cuz I knew I wouldn’t be able to sleep unless I got it out #like he says out of pocket shit all the time this one is particular just through me for a loop #and the spirk thing was semi-related to the conversation #i promise I don’t just bring up ships from media my parents had as children out of the blue #star trek #star trek tos #tos #spirk #spones #god i straight up forgot the ship name i for a second i though it was McCock

[vaguely-concerned]

okay. listen. a Concept. garashir roughhousing (gone (psycho)sexual) and at one point bashir wakes up from the high of finally getting to express all his repressed aggression in a safe space with someone who not only accepts that in him but can match him and is actively Into It, especially when he stops holding back some of his lil gmo twink strength, to be horrified like 'oh my GOD garak your nose is bleeding hang on I'll get a napkin or something I'm so sorry holy shit' and garak's lying there woozy with lust gazing up at him with wide betrayed eyes like 'no wait don't go you haven't even stabbed me yet :'('

(obviously this is mostly a shitpost, but I'm just saying I think they could provide a certain kind of space for each other that way. julian gets to have a place to live out all the rougher, less socially acceptable sides he usually has to downplay and push away to seem as non-threatening as (augmented) humanly possible with someone who loves him and who appreciates getting the entire spectrum of julian bashir, from the most obnoxiously annoying and needy to the unsettlingly coldly ruthless and back. and garak gets to have the shit beaten out of him in as medically safe and infinitely loving way as possible and/or finds he can still use his bloodied hands and take care of someone with them. this to me is the definition of what one might call a win/win situation. like don't get me wrong they would be having a lot of embarrassingly tender yearning gently-stroking-your-hair-and-holding-your-hand sex too. but. also this. which I think is also very tender, just in a different way. do you feel me.)

#garashir #star trek #star trek ds9 #ds9 #julian bashir #elim garak #this is my design etc. #the 'smut must contain this amount of meticulous psychoanalysis to really get my rocks off' post is so real #to take it up a tier: they fucked like this once after 'our man bashir' and it freaked julian out so bad they never had sex again #until post-canon cardassia times #when recognition of the self through the other is a jumpscare you wish you hadn't enjoyed quite so much #...when my brain starts going over into fic mode for this show it's going to be over for me I suspect

[tea-earl-grey]

i had an itching for comfort media so i went back to watch some s1 voyager episodes and s1 is soooo much better than i remembered. the later seasons appeal to my tastes a bit more but all the characters in s1 are so earnest and hopeful even when they butt heads and disagree and i'm just sitting here like "oh god they don't know what the next 7 years have in store..." i doubt it was that purposeful on the writers' part but it's so compelling how all of the characters have pretty open insecurities and are clearly people with lives and dreams beyond Voyager and bit by bit that's chipped away in later seasons. yes everyone becomes more confident and competent but is that really who they are or are they just losing themselves along the journey? (unfortunately the Doyalist explanation is just that the writers stopped putting focus on like. half of the main cast but shh i'm here for Watsonian analysis.)

like it's particularly noticeable with Janeway. she's definitely always been written as a strong leader but i forgot how much in early seasons we get to see her insecurities and vulnerabilities, how different she acts from when she's acting as captain to when she's alone, how often she questions her morality and whether she has the right to make decisions for her crew (and how often others questioned that right). then in the later seasons (around s3 and definitely by s4), she almost never questions her moral decisions, she rarely shows doubt, she plans heists on Borg cubes without a second thought, she dispenses her justice to the Equinox crew without really considering their position, she regulates others' autonomy (especially with Seven and the Doctor) without seeming to realize how easily that can go wrong. and don't get me wrong i love this development and think it's incredibly realistic for Janeway to deeply internalize her role and authority as a Captain and for it to permanently change her sense of self. Endgame is the perfect closure for Janeway's character because her future self exerts that same authority that she's been practicing over herself (also Janeway gets to live out her martyr complex one last time). i just wish the show was a little bit more self-aware that it was writing Janeway (and other characters) like this because there could be so many more interesting character conflicts.

anyways rewatching early ds9 made me say "aww these characters don't know that one day they'll all grow together and basically become family" and rewatching early voyager has me saying "uhohhhh these characters don't know the unhealthy relationships and neuroses they're going to uncover and develop". toxic found family for the win.

#forever obsessing over characters who change for the worst because of their duty and aren't even aware of how Changed they are #i started writing a fic about Janeway reuniting with her family post-Voyager and them being disturbed at how different she is and hmm #might need to get back to that one #anyways i maintain that sisko is the best written captain in star trek but i think janeway might be my favorite #alas it was inevitable... #also surprise surprise voyager is yet another show i'm enjoying so much more on rewatch #the first time through s1 to s3 took me like a year to watch through. now i've watched half of s1 in two days #voyager #kathryn janeway #my posts