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dino-thunder-green · 6 months

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"This better be good"

Fictober Day 20

Trent Fernandez x Reader

Description: You and Trent had always been close. Until now that is. Hes been angry and distant, and you think you may know why. All you know for sure is that nothing is ok anymore. {3.3K Words}

A/N: WHY IS THIS SO MANY WORDS AHHHHHHHHHH anyways enjoy

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Trent had been distant lately.

The spot where he usually sat by you in science was becoming empty far more frequently. When he did show up he was passive aggressive towards everyone. He’d leave class as fast as he came, and not even spare you another glance. Worst of all was that you couldn’t figure out where he kept vanishing to, or why.

You knew Trent. He usually had a mild temper and was quick to be rude to anyone to any extent, and yet here he was. You were sure that something was wrong, but you couldn’t figure out what could possibly make him act this way. So far you had ruled out fighting with his dad, because that usually left him more dreary than mean.

Whatever it was, it was stealing him away from you. And there was nothing you could do to stop it.

Where had it all gone wrong?

Was this the same Trent who had to work up the courage to ask if you considered the two of you friends a few years ago? Was this the same Trent who was more intelligent then he let on sometimes, tutoring you through the mind-numbingly boring science homework? The Trent who was shy and caring and had an acute attention to detail? The same Trent who you had kissed not even a week ago?

That’s it.

God, you were so stupid, you knew you never should have done that. Your feelings for him had been creeping up into your heart and growing ever stronger the longer you knew him. You didn’t want to make any moves to ruin your friendship so you had never confessed. Sometimes you had yourself convinced that he felt the same, that this tenderness inside was a mutual thing. The thought of how lovingly he had looked at you that day made you want to cry.

You had been actually crying that day. You had a big test the next day and you felt far from ready. Your stress had been building up for ages and finally as you sat there drowning in your half-assed notes you broke down. It’s not that you didn’t want to try, it's just that the teacher had been no help and you had been so tired.

Trent, being the big ol’ softie that he is (well… was) understood your feelings completely. He had taken your hands and just murmured about how you always did better than you thought you would on tests and how you could borrow his notes and all of these other small musings. And he raised his hands up to your face and wiped away your tears with his thumbs. You had been sure that “just friends” didn’t do that kind of stuff.

Then you mumbled about how you just wanted to do good.

And he looked at you and said, “You’re good at so many things.” and laughed, “I’m sure you’ll be good enough to do this too.”

That tender look he had in his eyes remained as you two got to work.

But at the end of the night, when Haley had finally told you to get out and for Trent to close up, he walked you to the door, and he turned to you and he said. “You’ll do amazing, I know you will.”

You smiled uncertainly, your brain spinning from all of the work you just did, and jokingly asked, “And if I don’t?”

A soft laugh, “Impossible.”

And with your brain full of fuzz at 12pm, after hours of studying, you laughed too. Your heart felt so full. With the way he was looking at you, you could have believed you were the only thing in the world that mattered. So you unthinkingly cupped his cheek and gave him a quick soft kiss on the lips. It felt like the most natural motion in the world.

“You have too much faith in me Fernandez.” And then you realized. Trent stared at you, his jaw slackened slightly, his eyes searching. For what, you still haven't figured it out. Before giving him a chance to respond you just muttered a fast and panicked apology and a “Thanks for helping me study” and you bolted. He couldn’t follow you, even if he had wanted to because he still had to close up for the night. You had been wondering all week if he would have followed you if given the chance, and with the way he had been acting, you felt like the answer was clear.

That was the last time you had spoken one-on-one. And it was the last time you saw him before he had taken this bitterly sarcastic turn. In your mind you had constructed a timeline. You kiss Trent. Trent fakes being sick for four days because he can’t face you. Trent finally has to show up to keep up with homework. Trent becomes mean to make sure you know he doesn’t feel the same. Some details of this timeline didn’t make sense yet, but you were sure this had been all your fault.

And so today, you were going to apologize.

He was being even more aggressive today, and not just towards you but to Kira, Conner, and Ethan. He hurried out of class, but you followed him out of class and down the hall. You called him, and luckily he stopped. You caught up and he turned around, looking extremely annoyed. The words rushed out of you.

“Trent… I know that I’ve messed up and I’m sorry for doing what I did, it was stupid and I was tired and I feel terrible about it, and please just know it won’t happen again.”

Trent let out a scoff, “Yeah. It was stupid.”

You were taken aback. You knew he had been mad but his comment still hurt.

“I know that you probably want space, but can you at least not take it out on other people? Our friends don’t deserve this.”

Trent’s eyebrows went up.

“You think those losers are my friends?”

You felt a lump rise in your throat and anger boil in your stomach. “Yeah- I mean you hang out with them all the time.”

He let out a sharp laugh, “And I bet you think that we’re friends too, don’t you?”

You felt like all of the air had been knocked out of you. Tears pricked at the edge of your eyes, but you couldn’t tell at this point if it was from heartbreak or anger. He has every right to be mad about it, you didn’t even ask if it was ok to kiss him, but this was way past the line for a reasonable reaction.

“Of course I did” You heard a bitter edge entering your tone. “Why else would you spend so much time with me, helping me?”

“Have you ever considered that I only hang out with you because you won’t leave me alone? Trust me, I have far better things to be doing than helping you with homework that you’re too stupid to understand.”

You couldn’t breathe. You felt as if you were dying.

Trent put the final nail in your coffin for you. “You really are stupid if you thought that I liked you.” he said smoothly, a triumphant expression on his face. Without waiting for a response, Trent turned and continued walking with a much more relaxed pace than before.

The tears you had been holding back finally fell and you screamed down the hallway at him. “FUCK YOU ASSHOLE”.

You turned the opposite way, holding your head down so that nobody could see your tears and you ran off to the bathroom, where you proceeded to break down sobbing.

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He has been the most important person in your life. And you had ruined it.

At least, when you were alone, with no one to see you missing him you believed that you ruined it. When you saw him scowling in the hallway or slinking into class late you almost had yourself convinced that it was his fault.

Your emotions were all over the place, and remained so for weeks afterwards. You hated him so bitterly for being such a heartless asshole, pretending that he cared about you. But at the same time, thinking of how he used to be you could almost swear that he did care. The way he had looked at you so tenderly and been so patient with you when you needed help seemed genuine when you thought back on them. But thinking about Trent being nice left a bitter taste in your mouth and gave you the urge to scream like a thorn in your throat. But you missed him.

You really didn’t have any friends that had been as close as him. Sure Conner, Kira, and Ethan were nice but they were off doing their own thing so much that you were alone. Even Cassidy and Devon were nice, except they didn’t know Trent and so you couldn’t confide in them about the situation. There was simply no one to talk to.

So you sat for weeks, with your rapidly changing emotions and nowhere to put them. So they just stirred around your brain, confusing and frustrating you. You could guarantee that Trent probably wasn’t putting in this much thought about his treatment of you. You knew you’d be stuck feeling this way for a long time.

You hated him. You missed him. You loved him. You cried about it often.

You just wanted your best friend back.

—--------------------------

A few months later, Trent was back on good terms with the rest of your science table, you observed bitterly.

Traitors.

Just a few weeks ago they had felt the same about him as you had, but apparently they had a weaker resolve then you did. You hadn’t forgotten how he had treated all of you. You had also observed that Trent was trying to be nicer, even to you. You didn’t buy it. You had seen once before how quickly he could change, you weren’t putting your heart back out there for someone like that.

Kira had been telling you all week about how he was trying really hard to make things right. And how he wanted to make up for how he acted.

Considering the fact that Kira had been the one to find you sobbing in the bathroom, this pissed you off. She should know better than anyone how he had made you feel. The whole situation was infuriating. Boy lies about being friends. Boy begins to treat friends like shit for months. Boy apparently repents for his heinous actions and decides you are friends again. All is well. And they all accepted it, and were totally fine with it. And you were alone, sulking about how he could switch it up so quickly.

Kira was walking with you to your next class. “I know you’re still mad but I swear he's super different now and he’s trying really hard to make up for his actions.”

You’ve had this conversation before.

“People don’t just change that fast Kira, especially not as much as you claim he has. Besides, why would he even need to change? He seemed satisfied being a major jerkwad just a few weeks ago.”

“Maybe you should talk to him about it. He can tell you why he acted the way he did.”

You glanced over at her, annoyed. He had been trying to talk to you for days, but you had refused to stick around long enough to hear him out.

“I don’t need his petty excuses.”

You could tell that Kira wanted to say more, but when you made your way to your seat without even looking at her, it became clear that the conversation had ended.

This was the angry part of you speaking. He had no right to just decide when he wanted to be nice, and then leave you crying when he didn’t. Plus, you knew that dark, angry part of him must still be there, it can’t just vanish after that many months.

He could do whatever he wanted, it was none of your business. You didn’t care how nice he was, or how mean, as long as he stayed out of your life.

But oh, you still missed him.

—-----------------------------------

Where was he?

Ethan swore he’d have time to help you with your math homework. You had assured him that you’d figure it out eventually - as you had been since Trent had cut you off - but he insisted that he would help you after school at the cyber cafe.

He had insisted that you met at exactly this time at exactly this place. And you were here, like you said you’d be, and he's the one who bailed.

Well, as long as you’re here you might as well work anyways. You pulled out your math homework from the day and spread it out in front of you. You were currently working through the product and quotient rules in calculus. You had told Trent time and time again that you weren’t smart enough to be there but he’d insist that you were and that you just underestimated yourself. He always looked so smug when he asked you what you got on your tests, saying that if you were as bad as you said you were you must have failed, right? And then you, with a reddining face, would always mumble out about your A or B grade and how it wasn’t as bad as you thought.

You had no one ask you how you did after your previous test. That hurt more than it should have. Trent had left so many holes in your life when he decided to force himself out of it.

You scribbled out the answer to the problem you had been working on. It didn’t even look remotely right. First off, it was an imaginary number, and you hadn’t worked with those yet this year, secondly it was way too large to make logical sense.

“You subtracted on the top instead of adding. Other than that it looks fine.”

You jumped at the sudden voice, whirling around in your chair to see Trent. He was standing, looking at you sheepishly.

You were dumbfounded. And in your confusion the only thing you could manage to blurt out was, “Where’s Ethan?”. It sounded harsher than you intended, and you felt bad, but you didn’t apologize.

Trent rubbed the back of his neck, looking away from you, “He was just helping me talk to you.”

No. No, no, no. You could not be doing this right now. Out of all the things you’d rather be doing, talking with Trent wasn’t even on the list. You took a moment to stop gawking and compose yourself. At the same time you started quickly packing up your homework.

“Well? We’re talking aren’t we? Mission accomplished”

Trent tentatively sat down next to you, but not near to you. You didn’t look up from packing your homework.

“Please just give me ten minutes to explain. And if my explanation isn’t good enough then I won’t bother you again…” A pause, “... ever.”

Glancing at him you took a deep breath in. You pondered for a moment. You let out a long heavy exhale and turned your attention towards him, your backpack laying half full on the table.

You glared at him, “this better be good.”

Trent and you were now facing each other.

“Do you know about the white ranger?”

You eyed him suspiciously. “The one on the news?”

Trent nodded. He paused as if he was trying to find what to say next.

“And you know how he was fighting the other rangers and isn’t anymore?”

You made a motion to grab your bag. This really wasn’t worth your time. Trent stopped you, placing his hand on top of yours.

You looked over at him. “I don’t have time for a shitty metaphor Trent.”

“It's not a metaphor.” There was an edge of desperation to his tone.

“Well then where are you going with this?” Your tone remained harsh as you stared at him down.

He swallowed thickly and his eyes flicked over to where his hand was on top of yours. Following the motion you looked too, wondering what he was seeing. Your hand was on your brag, his hand was on your hand, his nails were painted black, the white gem on his bracelet shimmered slightly.

You looked back at him, eyes widening in disbelief. “You’re not serious,” you whispered, eyes going back to the bracelet. Trent’s dad had briefly mentioned the dino gems as scientific anomalies, and this sure looked like one. But you failed to wrap your head around what he was insinuating.

“It’s not a metaphor because I am the white ranger.” He muttered so quietly that you almost didn’t hear him.

You gaped at him, at a loss for words.

In your silence he continued. “Mesogog had filled it with bad energy and the day after… after the incident I found it.”

He said your name, almost pleading for you to understand, “it poisoned my mind, it’s like I was someone else. I felt nothing at all, all I could think about was how bitter and angry I was, and it consumed me.”

His hand tightened around yours. He looked like he might cry. You felt like you might cry, that lump forming in your throat.

“But… you’re better now?”

Trent nodded gently.

“...Mesogog tried to kill me. But somehow I survived, and in the process that dark energy got removed from the gem. When it happened, the feelings just hit me. It’s like I was seeing color again or something. I felt… well… everything.”

“And those things you said?”

Trent sighed, “I didn’t mean them.” He adjusted his hand so you two were now fully holding hands, resting them on the table. Trent started tearing up. “I didn’t mean any of them.”

Your feelings hit you like a brick wall. Anger, sorrow, confusion, and hurt. So, so much hurt.

You started to cry.

Trent scooted his chair closer to yours, so you two were knee to knee. He brought your intertwined hands down between you, taking your other hand as well. You clutched his hand as you cried.

“I thought you hated me- I thought I did something wrong-” you choked out, “I spent weeks trying to figure out what I could have done differently, what was wrong with me.”

You stared at where you held hands, unable to look him in the eye.

You tried to steady your breathing. “I know it was a stupid thought, but I began to believe that kissing me was so horrible that it made you hate me.”

“No, no.” Trent spoke gently, his voice trembling, full of regent, “there is not a single thing you could ever do to make me hate you. Ever since I’ve been myself again, I’ve been kicking myself for how you’ve felt. None of this is your fault.”

You sniffled. Trent let go of your hands and raised his hands to cup your face. He wiped away your tears, just like he had done that night.

“I could never hate you for kissing me.” He whispered sadly. “I spent the rest of my shift trying to figure out if I was dreaming.”

He gazed into your eyes tenderly.

“And when I found the gem, and everything started hurting, all I could think about was how I never even told you I love you.”

Your hand came up to your face to cup his. You two were bent over, your faces so close you could see all of the blemishes and freckles on each other.

“You love me?”

Trent gave a small smile, “Since forever.”

You returned his smile, feeling warmth spread through your veins.

“I love you too.”

He searched your gaze for any hesitance, and finding none, Trent kissed you. Except this time it was intentional, and it wasn’t a dream. For a moment it was just you and him, and forever.

You still had things you needed to work through. Your anger at him wouldn’t just vanish in a moment, even with an explanation. But for now it was ok. For now the two of you were ok.

Everything was ok.

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