You know, if you want an example of just how bad a fucking writer JJ Abrams is, I can give it to you.
Hi! My name's Nina and the only Star Wars movie I've ever seen is The Phantom Menace, when I was eight, 23 years ago. Everything else I know is through cultural osmosis.
I came up with the stupidest, most ridiculous way to solve Rey's parentage, and it's still better than canon.
Luke and Leia weren't twins. They were triplets. Thing is, the third baby appeared to be dead on birth. In the chaos of " . . . and the queen of Naboo just died, fucking hell," the "dead" baby was set aside while the two living ones were quickly tended to and hustled away and the fallout from Padme's death was dealt with.
. . . . except one lowly little servant, tasked with cleaning up the blood and piss and tissue and other fun assorted things associated with childbirth and death, found that "dead" baby, and it was still breathing.
What to do? All hell's just broken loose. You're fully aware the other two babies aren't going to their father, though you don't know why. You know everyone is panicking.
So the servant wraps up the baby and keeps it warm while they finish their cleaning and then takes it home.
Unlike the other two, this baby is not Force-sensitive. Nobody will ever be able to find it because the Jedi Council and the Sith don't even know it exists.
But you're a lowly servant. The best your adopted child can hope for is life aboard a ship, perhaps able to move up through the ranks of the crew (unlikely, but maybe, maybe; you can dream). So when they reach an age where they can work on their own you put them aboard a ship, you kiss them goodbye, and you never see them again.
They meet someone. Fall in love. Crash-land on Jakku. The pair ekes out a living there, and they have a daughter. They name her Rey.
Not only does it not involve "somehow, Palpatine returned," and Rey randomly picking a name that shouldn't actually mean a whole hell of a lot to her (Leia remains Organa and never assumed the Skywalker name), but it helps to plug a rather gross Lucas-created plothole: Padme didn't die because she had a sad, Padme died because birth is traumatic to the body, multiple births are extremely traumatic to the body, and the effort of pushing out two babies plus a baby that had some kind of problem (maybe breech birth?) was just too much for her to handle. She bled heavily, went into shock before the doctors could fix the problem with synthablood or whatever they might call it in Star Wars, no more Padme. Plus, if we must have the whole "Kylo is all 'oh, you and I are the same'" thing, it adds an actual layer of truth: they have the same grandparents. Difference is, he chose to take Vader's side, while Rey (thematically) chose to take Padme's.
There you go. It ain't Shakespeare and I never bothered answering the question of "but then how does Rey find out she had a Skywalker for a parent," but it's still fucking better than what you poor guys got. (I am so sorry.)
I have a question... Or rather, a few. And these are purely because we don't see anybody older than abuela and we never see the faces of the people who destroy her home. So, here they are.
So, I know from experience that recessive genes can pop up almost randomly within families after long periods of dormancy. My own parents are dark haired, dark eyed individuals without a curl to their heads, with bad eyesight and other genetic health conditions that get passed down easily from generation to generation, but I was born with dirty blonde hair, blue-green eyes, and better health and sight than both of them. I get it from my grandmothers, who both had curly hair, and my mother's mother has red hair and green eyes. So, my first question is, who do you think Pepa gets her red hair and paler completion from? Like, nobody's mentioned it as far as I can tell, but she stands out from her siblings with how... Sunny... She looks. Her complexion reflects her family's warm tone outfits, which are sunny colors, colors you'd see used for summer days and happy citrus treats! I wonder if she gets it more from her dad's side or her mom's side, since we never see their parents even once.
I also wonder if her family's bright sunny colors are done to try and help keep her in a sunny mood. It's been all but proven that colors like yellow and lighter oranges make you happier, color theory and all that, and they wear a lot of those colors. I would assume that the colors were picked by each of the triplets as their favorite color as they grew, because that's what makes sense to me. Maybe she gravitated towards yellows because they represent the weather everybody wants to see from her, or if it's a device to keep her happy to prevent the more extreme weather.
Another question I have is, what period of history do you guys think they're in, based off of evidence given in the movie? No cars, no helicopters, no planes, no phones, not even telegram from what I could gather, which would put it at least 2 centuries back by American standards, but this clearly doesn't take place in the US and I don't know when these things started to pop up in most places in South America, which is where I think the movie takes place given culture, language, and ecosystem on display, but I could be wrong about where I think it is (Columbia or somewhere around there).
Do you guys think the jaguar was on the prowl for livestock to eat while the townsfolk were all at the ceremony when it came rushing into the house? It was suspiciously fast in getting there...
Do you guys think the reason Mirabel's dad is so panicked about the vision is because Bruno asked him, as someone born without a gift who didn't seem as enthralled by the gifts as everybody else in town is, for advice? I mean, we see the rest of the town go nuts over these gifts, they love them, they take them for granted, they never ask the madrigals if they're ok but rather almost demand they fix the towns problems. But, her dad never once says after getting stung "hey, honey, could you heal me?" Instead, he puts up with it until she gives him a snack. He's willing to put up with the pain but she gives him healing food anyways. In the scene where Luisa is moving the church and gathering donkeys the towns folk just tell her they have an issue, the donkey guy says "could you" but doesn't ask if she has the time to. Just "hey, this is my issue, can you fix it?" In a tone that's almost... Expectant... What if her dad freaked out cuz he already knew and didn't want her to know so she couldn't get in more trouble?
At the end of the movie, everybody comes together to help the madrigals rebuild the house, but they don't help find Mirabel. Unless they're searching the other side of town, which makes no sense considering she has no gift and disappeared rather quickly with dust all over her, which would have fallen off with every step more and more, leaving a trail towards the mountains behind the house, then they aren't helping at all, and the fact we only hear her family calling her name only adds to that. So, why don't they help then but they do help rebuild the house?
And do you guys think that Bruno had someone outside the walls covering the cracks in fresh paint so nobody would notice? Cuz somebody would have noticed sealed cracks on a brightly colored wall in white plaster from inside the wall
EDIT!!!! Since a couple of you have pointed it out, I would like to state I mom watched the first like 15 minutes of the movie and am currently sick so any details stated during that timeframe that answer a question here I completely missed and I apologize if I sound dumb. I have only seen the movie once so far, I will be watching it again before my semi-adoptive Hispanic uncle has a chance to see it so we can talk about it together. I specify that he is semi-adoptive because I've called him my uncle practically my whole life, but he's actually just a highschool friend of my stepdad's that we're really close to. He taught my brother and I to play DND and I taught his stepson what it means to get your butt whooped by a girl about twice your weight at a pool party for trying to hurt the younger kids. We're all very close, we all fear the sandal, and we all enjoy the tacos he makes and the southern sweet tea my mom makes. (Real Mexican tacos and southern style sweet tea with a hint of lemon are meant to go together btw, you can't change my mind, it's just so satisfying!) Once he watches the movie, my points that I have brought up here and are still unknown and interesting will be brought up with him, though he is not from the Columbia area, he was born in Mexico, because he likes the Hispanic movies and short films that Disney has released so far and also is the only person in my family that will talk about cartoons on this level with me. Again, thanks to those who pointed out the timeframe and region the movie is set in
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#because i feel like it’s a lot more than ’your ex dating your best friend’ i mean fran dated tomas before and vilu was fine with that
My Top Posts in 2021
Was gonna make a cruella joke like ”Olaf backstory where his parents was killed by orphans” and then I realised, no, but that’s literally what happened
103 notes • Posted 2021-06-06 13:35:43 GMT
Ok but imagine the chaos it must have been in the Madrigals when the triplets grew up.
Pepa throwing temper tantrums as a kid and a moody teenager?
Julieta as a 5 year old just destroying the whole kitchen like ”I wanted to make some magic cakes to cheer people up :)”
Bruno just going around all his childhood being known as that creepy kid who knows your future and everyone both respects him and also is kinda afraid of him
219 notes • Posted 2021-12-02 20:01:22 GMT
The Slippery Slope, a summary
340 notes • Posted 2021-03-20 01:05:51 GMT
The Madrigal family is interesting in the sense that I love what we saw of them in the movie, but GOD I also would want to see them in like. A prequel.
The Madrigal triplets as kids, like?? Imagine it being super stormy and someone's like "hm I wonder why?" and someone else is like "ah, Pepa found out Bruno broke her favorite toy"
Julieta, who's room I imagine being a fairly regular room with just like... her own magic kitchen on the side? I have no clue. But as a kid I feel like she just tried making different kinds of food, and if she did something good then she got so proud she asked random people to try it. I bet she saw some kid getting hurt once and baked a cake that she just carried out in the middle of the night to the kids house and was like "here, this is for you :)"
She also threatened her siblings that they weren't allowed to eat any of her food if they were annoying her, which caused Pepa to create a thunder storm because she didn't get to eat Julieta's arepas and Bruno to tell her that he was gonna have a vision of her later and she would regret it. During this fight, Alma just passes them like "Ugh, this is the third time they have this fight this week"
But also the grandchildren's childhood?
I imagine that shortly after Luisa got her powers, she just carried toddler Mirabel and Camilo everywhere, pretending to be an airplane or a pegasus, just running around carrying them in each arm, just to entertain them. She still sometimes does this to Mirabel to cheer her up. Mirabel can just be slightly sad and Luisa's like "Wanna ride the Luisa express? Come on!"
She stopped carrying Camilo after he got his powers, because he always shape shifted and fell off. She has occasionally also ran around with Dolores, but not as often. One time, she tried doing it with Isabela, and Isabela was like "WHAT ARE YOU DOING, PUT ME DOWN RIGHT NOW-"
Dolores being a sneaky little kid listening to EVERYONE and probably, if she was mad at you, threatening to tell people random things she heard you say. As a kid she embarrassed everyone in the town at some point, because she just spilled their secrets and watching the chaos unleash. As she got older she learned to keep her mouth shut, but she still sometimes just dragged people into corners like "I NEED TO TELL SOMEONE THIS-"
I also imagine Camilo and Maribel sharing the nursery, since they are only months apart in age (what I got?) and it's possible Luisa briefly shared the room with them too (I think Luisa is... 18? 19?). Anyway, if that's so, then I bet Luisa, before she got her powers, often were the one to take care of them if they woke up in the middle of the night, and she's especially protective of them. And when she moved out, she sometimes woke up like "what if they have woken up-" so she woke up Dolores to ask if she could hear them crying.
But also, Camilo and Mirabel used to stay up together if one of them couldn't sleep, and when Camilo moved out both he and Mirabel were kind of sad to not share a room anymore.
367 notes • Posted 2021-12-05 18:40:04 GMT
BIG MOUTH SEASON 5 BITCHES
Oh my god.
Honestly Jessi knowing she has feelings for Ali but not wanting to ruin their friendship is pretty realistic. Because, in many cases, you just keep your mouth shut and never tell anyone.
That being said I hope they explore it more in season 6 :-)
EPISODE TWO WHEN EVERYONE FUCKING HURT THEMSELVES? OW.
WHY WAS THIS SEASON. LEGIT. ABOUT ANDREW APPRECIATING HIS BUTT.
Love how the hate worms and love bugs kind of get back and forth from being bugs and worms
People have shipped Jay and Matthew so much and I always knew they would be a thing again
I kinda want Connie to be Nick's hormone monster again
This is really weird but has Missy like... gotten her period yet? Because I got the impression she was a late bloomer and stuff. But then again, maybe it's not really interesting to the plot.
I'm guessing that baby will be born in s6 and in that case I wanna have a Jessi babysitting episode
I like the older kids having hormone monsters too, it's not just the middle schoolers
THE THANKSGIVING EPISODE WHEN BARBARA JUST TURNED AROUND BACK TO THE KITCHEN
*sniffs* "Did someone ejaculate in here?"
Now i'm gonna tell you something: I know people in real life who has acted exactly like Nick. Getting rejected by their crushes and all
Samira scares me fdgrthyf
I love how everything happens within like a month, very realistic to real middle school drama.
Andrew skiing is me skiing. i'm terrified.
I have so much to say but I can't come up with more right now.
527 notes • Posted 2021-11-05 16:55:59 GMT
Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →
The Destiel Folder: Season 10
[Season 4; Season 5; Season 6; Season 7; Season 8; Season 9]
Cas is slowly dying, practically naked, in a bed, and the first thing he says when talking about Dean is "I miss him" (6:35), with a soft smile. "Why would he just disappear?"
... I'm sorry but If Cas Were A Woman, this would look like a scene from a movie or something, where the wife talks to a friend over the phone about her missing husband. JUST SAYING
Crowley: "The girl seemed nice. Slightly damaged. I could see the old you falling for that." (9:29) uhm... who else is "nice and slightly" damaged? I don't know... CASTIEL??!!!
So... these two men (actors Todd Mann and Brad Mann) we see with the DemonGang, are real life twins (9:14).
At (27:18), Crowley states him and Dean did "extroardinary things to triplets" ... and, well, the only twins with a possible other sibling we see are... them
And this is not the first time we hear about Dean doing "things to triplets" with a buddy of his (15x07)... and the first time he was NOT a demon... so, there's that. And triplets don't necessarily mean "all females"
Cas, while talking about the good things that come with choices, mentions "hope, love, dreams" (39:06), and Hannah points out that "those are human things". Human things...
Cas is talking about his own personal experiences with creating chaos, so those are the things he felt after rebelling for... Dean... WOW. ICWAW, it would totally be read it as a reference to Dean. A romantic one. Fight me
Cas is dying, just got back from a fight that left him wounded, doesn't have enough power to heal himself, is on a mission to restore Heaven, and once again he chooses to go save Dean (9:35), and the way rage builds in his eyes when learning Dean has become a demon. Look at this shit
I might be crazy, but this feels like a touching metaphor to me:
"I think you don't know what you want. Tell me, Dean. What are you? A demon? [...] Maybe you're human. [...] Why don't you do us all a great, big favor... and pick a bloody side!" (22:22)
We are reminded that, even tho in terrible conditions, on the verge of death, Cas is willing to risk it all to save Dean, and is devastated by the thought of Dean not making it (4:47 - 5:17)
This is so funny to me, I'm sorry, but Cas is so visibly uncomfortable with Hannah touching him, it's hilarious (15:58)
"I've been around humans for long enough to see how easily distractions occur. Emotions, feelings... They're dangerous temptations." (22:32) like rebelling against your own kind, destroying your home, falling... all for a human?
"I'm trying to keep our priorities clear." Moments earlier, Cas listed "Getting to Dean" (22:17) before anything else. In fact, Hannah says "I am very clear of my priorities... and yours." = Dean (23:00)
Cas is not sure whether the cure will kill Dean or not, and in any case, he wraps his arms around him, and softly says "It's over... Dean it's over." (35:40) as if hushing him to sleep, in what could have been their last moments together... wow. Think about this ICWAW
"Well, I can see his point. Only humans can feel real joy, but... also such profound pain. This is easier." (36:17) Look at the way Sam is looking at Cas looking at Dean
POSSIBILE future Empty reference "real joy"
Cas already stated he misses being human, but knows how fragile they are in both body and spirit:
Castiel really wants to be with Dean. For real. But maybe he thinks (see season 9) him being an angel is an obstacle to their feelings.
Only by being human he can truly be happy (MMMMMMHH SEASON 15), but isn't sure he could handle the pain that comes with it. A possible rejection, the thought of Dean dying, him leaving Dean... MMMMHHHHH
"You look terrible." [...] "Well, you, on the other hand, you... *checks out Cas* Looking good." (39:09) full homo right there. Also parallel with Ketch in 13x18 ("You don't look good." "Yeah, well, you're not my type, either.")
The way they are looking at each other here... man.
Cas is so happy to have Dean back, and Dean looks hurt about Cas leaving so soon.
"So... so, you're back?" "At least temporarily." (39:27) bitch, you know that's not what he ment.
In all of this, Cas is trying to make Dean feel better about the whole situation (DAT SMILE 40:18), and Dean replies with "I'm glad you're back, man.", basically no-homoing himself...
Cas starts walking out of the room, but stops and turns back [insert concerned husband here] (40:27), and Dean has that hopeful look in his eyes, like Cas is going to stay, and the hurtful look comes back as soon as Cas is gone
"On your knees!" "Wow, I'm awfully flattered-" (34:33) SASSY BI DEAN IS THE DEAN WE DESERVE
Fucking kill me NOW!!! Dean's reaction to Destiel is PRICELESS!! And even before he learns what that is, he just looks at the girls playing him and Cas and... freezes for a moment (13:18) And the eyebrow raise thingy at (13:34)... what's going on in your brain, Dean?
I'd like to point out that the Italian translation for "You can't spell 'subtext' without S-E-X" is, for once, AMAZING:
"It's just that... their bond is so strong it has subtext of a... sexual nature."
THANK YOU ITALIAN DUB! JUST THIS ONCE, THANK YOU! (13:43)
Also at (9:44) Dean immediately reacts to the implication of Wincest subtext, shutting it down and telling the girls to take a step back, but with Destiel he is like... alright
... this is so fucking cute, (25:54) Dean adjusts the girl playing Cas' tie so that it's messed up like the real Cas'. ADORABLE
SAM SHIPS IT (13:57) and is teasing the SHIT out of Dean, who reacts like someone being teased about their crush. Just saying (14:08 - 14:52) [AND THIS HAPPENS IN FRONT OF A PINK-BLUE WALL]
"I know I have expressed some differences of opinion regarding this version of Supernatural." (26:44) ... oookay meta? *turns to "Cas"* "And I want you to put as much sub into that text as you possibly can." ... oKAY?!
Cas being extremely uncomfortable with women is too fucking funny to me (5:03 - 12:51)
(15:13) Alright, so, this is a date... what now? Anyway, nice bi flannel, Dean. And the little sweet smiles you two are giving each other? So fucking precious (16:01)
"I ain't exactly a role model." "That's not true." (16:07) how Dean looks at Cas right after that? BABIES!
"How are you, Dean?" "Fine." "*I-call-bullshit look*" "I'm great!" "No, you're not." (16:18) #MARRIED
As Cas is choke-holding a guy, Dean, clearly amused (almost proudly), says "I'd do what he says." (22:17) Like that time with Raphael in 5x03, Dean likes it when Cas gets rough
Shut the fuck up and marry each other already so you can finally actually BE the old married couple™️ you ALREADY ARE (22:17)
This is the "My husband is so FUCKING STUPID" look (22:30)
"I was hoping you might reach out to her." "... Me? I'm probably the last person she'd want to hear from." [...] "All I know... is she won't talk to me." (23:03) #MARRIED, PARENTS, PERIODT
Shut the fuck up. Cas is the dad trying to figure out technology (23:36) "I'll text you her number. I like texting. Emotions!" DAD
Cas worries about Dean like a wife would with an alcoholic husband
Of all the things Dean could be MAD about at Metateon... the first thing he can think of is him stealing Cas' grace (31:33) (okay, maybe he is going in chronological order but STILL)
[I AM SO SO SO SORRY BUT DEAN USED THE ALIAS "PRESLEY" (18:55) I AM NOT OKAY]
Have this deleted scene: Castiel and Crowley bitching over Dean, and Crowley calling Dean Cas' boyfriend
This is some hell of a goodbye-eye-love-making scene (26:57)
Cain compares himself to Dean... and CAS TO HIS WIFE COLLETTE [PARALLELS]
"You're living my life in reverse [...]
First you'd kill Crowley. You'd get it done, no remorse. (Cain had been killing his descendants, for whom he didn't care much)
And then you'd kill the angel, Castiel. Now, that one... that, I suspect, would hurt something awful. [And than Sam is Able, bla bla...]"
AM I WRONG?! YOU'RE GONNA LOOK AT ME AND TELL ME THAT I'M WRONG??!!!
Dean gives the First Blade to Cas... oKAY (37:10)
Worried brother-in-laws (41:27)
This is such a good source of hidden meanings scene! Dean starts his "confession" as a scam. Everything he says at first is to attract the spirit.
He starts talking about seeing lots of women, not being able to control himself, and being sick of it. Then the real confession begins...
Dean feels he's going to die soon, and fears not death itself, but what he would be missing from his life.
"There's things... people, feelings that I... I would experience differently than I had before. Or even for the first time." (25:28) and the priest believes Dean is talking about love.
Well... "people, feelings"... who could he be referring to? Does Dean want love all of a sudden? People he wants to experience for the first time... uhmmmm... Is Dean opening up to his attraction to MEN??!! Or one angel in particular?
ICWAW we would guess Dean was talking about Cas
"Who mixes their blood and bones into paint? No woman has ever done that for me." (39:19) UHM- Dean, what about
6x20 "He has bled, died bla bla bla for us",
7x21 "I'm always happy to bleed for the Winchesters" or
9x22 "You just gave up an entire army for one guy"
ICWAW we would ALL roll our eyes at this statement and scream CAS
THE GUY BLED, LOST HIS HOME, REBELLED, DIED FOR YOU!! HE REBUILT YOU PIECE BY PIECE FROM HELL- SAVED YOU DOZENS OF TIMES!!!
About saving Dean from the Mark: "We won't- (free Metatron)" "Yes, you will... because you're desperate." (9:44) Hannah knows. Let's remark that
"All I'm getting from you is... colours." (14:26) bitch he is a walking 🌈PRIDE FLAG🏳️🌈
Notice how, when we get a Sam-Cas centred episode, we don't get the same interactions with Dean-Cas? Why this?
Dean is always ready to call Cas a "brother", but the only one true bromance here is Sam and Cas'. There are no longing stares, no weird sexual filled dialogue nor tension, NO LONGING STARES
Facts, my people. Facts
"You killed my friend." "Oh, pff, Dean is fine, mostly. Can't you get past that?" "Never." (12:39)
Charlie being excited about meeting Dean's famous boyfriend is WHOLESOME (37:34)
To have Cas back, 100%, safe and sound, is a win for Dean (38:58) and the face Cas makes after Dean hits him with another no-homo "It's good to have you back, pal." is "UHH not this again". Charlie already ships it
A #MARRIED couple and their daughter. NO ARGUMENTS VALID (7:06)
Look at how they enter the motel (16:22)
OH MY GOOOOOD!!! #PARENTS coming back home from shopping!! THE HAND ON THE SHOULDER!!! Also
"Happy birthday. I got it at the Hot Topical" DAD
Dean: "Imma head back over there." Cas: "I'm coming with you." Claire: "I'm coming with you too." (17:24) #FAMILY
A fucking family comedy about a dad confronting the daughter's boyfriend and the other dad scolding him:
"What did you do to him?" "I didn't lay a hand on him!" "Dean, that isn't exactly true." "... Well, I didn't kill the guy." (17:14)
Surprisingly enough, this is not the first nor last time Dean acts like a dad to a lost child (AND TWO OF THESE TIMES THE KID IS SOMEHOW RELATED TO CAS) (21:54)
C: "Claire, you are not going out there. [...] It's too dangerous. I can't let anything happen to you." D: "Claire, you're not going." C: "You're not either, Dean." D: "What?" (19:29)
#FAMILY DON'T TALK TO ME!
"No fighting. [...] Both of you." AAAAAA
This doesn't fucking matter, but Dean just said "... for the ladies. Or the fellas. I don't judge." (36:23)
Cas' speech to Dean... wow. "So if there's even a small chance that we can save you... I won't let you walk out of this room." (39:20)
I hate this scene. (40:11)
Dean is overwhelmed by Charlie's death, Sam and Cas' betrayal, the Mark changing him and all the other shit.
The Mark is taking over, and Dean can't (and won't) help it. Cas knows it. He doesn't want to hurt Dean. He is not even resisting. Doesn't put up a fight.
And just like Colette with Cain, Castiel only asks Dean one thing: "Stop." (40:38) [9x11]
Parallel to 8x07:
The only thing that stops Cas from killing Dean, is him begging, clutching onto his sleeve.
"Dean... please..." (41:08) Cas pleading Dean, clutching to his arm, makes him resist the urge to kill him.
You can find gifs and the script of some deleted (destiel) scenes in this post by @charlie-minion
As the Mark eats Dean... he starts feeling guilt for the people he hurt... first on the list: Cas (14:54)
(This gif is not mine)
Well... what a season.