#tris talks

[tryslora]

newsletter!

I have created an author mailing list!

Thank you, folks, for the recommendation of Buttondown--it is stripped down and does exactly what I need and I will probably be happy to pay for it should I ever somehow get more than 100 subscribers. (I will be doing dances of glee should I get more than 100 subscribers).

So far I have subscribed to my own list and sent out a test email. I need to do some more template formatting, I know, and I will get there. Someday there will be a header image. For now, however, straight text with some formatting will have to do.

So, if anyone wants to subscribe to my fledgling newsletter, you should be able to do so via my Buttondown page.

I don't plan to post a newsletter more than monthly, unless I've got an imminent THING happening. There will probably be more posts in lead-up days to an indy release, or while a crowdfunding campaign for PHU print editions via DPP is happening. I'll send out a convention schedule if I'm on programming. But I don't want to spam anyone.

I did manage to get the form to subscribe embedded properly into my official Author Site. My next steps are getting it linked on other social media (and setting up a Carrd site because yes, I'm aware that's a thing I should have, too).

My big next step with the author page is getting a contact me form set up. Last one I tried just wasn't working out for me. I've got another one that I think will work better.

I may not be making words, but it's been a productive November at least.

#tris lawrence #tris talks #mailing list #buttondown #newsletter

[oikawas-toris]

3 Racha needs to release more shit man. Their whole discography on yt is just bop after bop and they have a song called "domestic banana" for god's sake 😭 And to add to that they were bachhus back then..!! Heck even if they don't release something new soon atleast officially release whatever is already on yt becAUSE HAVE YOU HEARD "은석이" YOU CAN HEAR THEM SPIRALLING FURTHER INTO INSANITY WITH EVERY STANZA and the message behind it too like damn. And don't even get me started on the unofficial solo songs like scissors by Han because when does that man even breathe.

#thank you for coming to my ted talk #i just cant get enough of these silly lil talentedass guys #yt isn't enough i need it all on Spotify so my queue is forever and ever filled. #3 racha #3racha #tris talks #skz #if skz release all their unofficial stuff on Spotify i can bet you you'll never see my ears ever again #because you will never see me without earphones/headphones

[vraska-theunseen]

DID YOU ALL KNOW THAT YOU CAN DO WHATEVER UOU WANT WHEN YOURW MAKING ART ISNT THAT WILD

#alex talks #this was a piece i didn't really know what to do with so i put the holes in at first and then someone im in class with suggested i bite it #(i think she was joking) and after i took out a chunk she said she meant just put an indent so i tried that too and that's why it's mismash

[chloesimaginationthings]

FNAF Afton kids got interesting coping mechanisms

#myart #chloesimagination #comic #fnaf vanessa #michael afton #mike schmidt #fnaf #fnaf movie #sister location #fnaf fanart #five nights at freddy's #they are both super normal and well adjusted I promise #another Vanessa and Michael bonding moment 🔥🔥 #I know both tried so much for their fathers approval #only to be both betrayed anyway by him #LEAST they have each other to talk about it #Mike isn’t very impressed by how they cope #but he can’t talk much seeing he copes through actually constantly sleeping #none of these guys are okay and that’s okay 💜

[andthebeanstalk]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need. #the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist. #the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28! #a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents. #they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong. #and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives. #you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead? #or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of. #no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow. #i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong. #just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop

[ghost-bxrd]

Let’s amp up the “Jason says ow and the batfam thinks he must be gravely injured” headcanon.

Jason calls Bruce or Dick for fun and says nothing but “goodbye” before hanging up (maybe it’s a dare by Roy who TOTALLY suspects the reaction Jay is gonna get).

Ten minutes late the entire Justice League is scouring Gotham, on the hunt for Jason.

#someone is stuck on Bat-sitting duty #meaning someone is tasked to watch Batman in case he tries to skimp on his no kill rule again #person in question is hyper aware Bruce definitely has ten different ways to taoe them down instantly #it’s not a fun situation for anybody #except for Jason #who’s getting ready for bed totally convinced all he’s gonna get the next day is an annoyed bat lecture #meanwhile every JLA member and their sidekick on the hunt for red hood #hoping they’ll find him (alive!) before they have a rogue batman on their hands #or a rogue batfamily in general #the rest aren’t looking too sane right now either oops #jason todd #batfamily #dick grayson #batfam #robin #bruce wayne #ghost talks #tim drake #red hood #batman #batdad #Damian wayne #alfred pennyworth

[greseadraws]

Chilchuck and senshi shenanigans

(in reference to how Chilchuck is actually middle-aged and has adult children)

#dungeon meshi #delicious in dungeon #chilchuck #senshi #comic #greseadraws #i was wheezing when senshi tried giving chilchuck the talk

[inkskinned]

the thing is there's like, a point of oversaturation for everything, and it's why so many things get dropped after a few minutes. and we act like millennials or gen z kids "have short attention spans" but... that's not quite it. it's more like - we did like it. you just ruined it.

capitalism sees product A having moderate success, and then everything has to come out with their "own version" of product A (which is often exactly the same). and they dump extreme amounts of money and environmental waste into each horrible simulacrum they trot out each season.

now it's not just tiktokkers making videos; it's that instagram and even fucking tumblr both think you want live feeds and video-first programming. and it helps them, because videos are easier to sneak native ads into. the books coming out all have to have 78 buzzwords in them for SEO, or otherwise they don't get published. they are making a live-action remake of moana. i haven't googled it, but there's probably another marvel or starwars something coming out, no matter when you're reading this post.

and we are like "hi, this clone of project A completely misses the point of the original. it is soulless and colorless and miserable." and the company nods and says "yes totally. here is a different clone, but special." and we look at clone 2 and we say "nope, this one is still flat and bad, y'all" and they're like "no, totally, we hear you," and then they make another clone but this time it's, like, a joyless prequel. and by the time they've successfully rolled out "clone 89", the market is incredibly oversaturated, and the consumer is blamed because the company isn't turning a profit.

and like - take even something digital like the tumblr "live streaming" function i just mentioned. that has to take up server space and some amount of carbon footprint; just so this brokenass blue hellsite can roll out a feature that literally none of its userbase actually wants. the thing that's the kicker here: even something that doesn't have a physical production plant still impacts the environment.

and it all just feels like it's rolling out of control because like, you watch companies pour hundreds of thousands of dollars into a remake of a remake of something nobody wants anymore and you're like, not able to afford eggs anymore. and you tell the company that really what you want is a good story about survival and they say "okay so you mean a YA white protagonist has some kind of 'spicy' love triangle" and you're like - hey man i think you're misunderstanding the point of storytelling but they've already printed 76 versions of "city of blood and magic" and "queen of diamond rule" and spent literally millions of dollars on the movie "Candy Crush Killer: Coming to Eat You".

it's like being stuck in a room with a clown that keeps telling the same joke over and over but it's worse every time. and that would be fine but he keeps fucking charging you 6.99. and you keep being like "no, i know it made me laugh the first time, but that's because it was different and new" and the clown is just aggressively sitting there saying "well! plenty of people like my jokes! the reason you're bored of this is because maybe there's something wrong with you!"

#this was much longer i had to cut it down for legibility #but i do want to say i am aware this post doesnt touch on human rights violations as a result of fast fashion #that is because it deserves its own post with a completely different tone #i am an environmental educator #so that's what i know the most about. it wouldn't be appropriate of me to mention off-hand the real and legitimate suffering #that people are going through #without doing my research and providing real ways to help #this is a vent post about a thing i'm watching happen; not a call to action. it would be INCREDIBLY demeaning #to all those affected by the fast fashion industry to pretend that a post like this could speak to their suffering #unfortunately one of the horrible things about latestage capitalism as an activist is that SO many things are linked to this #and i WANT to talk about all of them but it would be a book in its own right. in fact there ARE books about each level of this #and i encourage you to seek them out and read them!!! i am not an expert on that i am just a person on tumblr doing my favorite activity #(complaining) #and it's like - this is the individual versus the industry problem again right because im blaming myself #for being an expert on environmental disaster (which is fucking important) but not knowing EVERYTHING about fast fashion #i'm blaming myself for not covering the many layers of this incredibly complicated problem im pointing out #rather than being like. yeah so actually the fault here lies with the billion dollar industries actually. #my failure to be able to condense an incredibly immense problem that is BOOK-LENGTH into a single text post that i post for free #is not in ANY fucking way the same amount of harm as. you know. the ACTUAL COMPANIES doing this ACTUAL THING for ACTUAL MONEY. #anyway im gonna go donate money while i'm thinking about it. maybe you can too. we can both just agree - well i fuckin tried didn't i #which is more than their CEOs can say

[tryslora]

upcoming conventions...

I have been quiet, but it has been for reasons. 

Not only have I been in editing hell (second edition of Commit to the Kick, first edition of the first Seven Lakes book), I have also been preparing for convention hell. Heaven? Pick a term--I have three conventions three weekends in a row. One is simple. One is HUGE and I have to fly to get there, plus get all my merch there. The third I am helping run which requires... meetings.

But this means that I have appearances!

I will be with Duck Prints Press at Fandom Fest in Schenectady NY the weekend of August 26/27. We will have a presence in the Vendor Hall. We are doing a panel, currently at 5:30pm on the Saturday. You can see the schedule for Fandom Fest on their website. Our entry is listed under "Fanfiction" but we will be talking about navigating the path from Fic to Original work. If you're around, come see our merch and come talk to us at the panel!

I will be at Dragoncon in Atlanta over Labor Day weekend. I don't know yet if I will be on any programming items; those will be a last-minute add if I am. However, I am sharing space in the vendor space, and the second edition print copies of Commit to the Kick will be available there for the first time, along with information about the upcoming Kickstarter for books 2 & 3 of the Twinned trilogy. Please come see me if you're at Dragoncon.

And lastly, our local fan-run convention Albacon will be September 8-10 in Clifton Park, NY. I am again sharing some space with Duck Prints to run vending out of my hotel room (Dealer/Artist Row), and I will be on panels (don't know which ones yet). Albacon is a tiny local convention and we have both in-person and remote attendees and participants, and the fully hybrid model works SO WELL. If you decide to attend, via either way, please reach out and say hello. If you're remote, I'm in the Albacon discord so you can feel free to @ me there, too.

It's going to be a LOT and there are so many things to accomplish beforehand, so I've been run a bit ragged. Add in local social things, the Duck Prints meetup last weekend, my father's illness (and helping my mom), and well, day job... it's been chaos. *exhales* *deep breaths* I think my schedule calms down a bit in November, after Astronomicon at the end of October... (yes, another convention, I am going to be So Worn Out).

#convetion schedule #appearances #my fiction #tris talks #books #queer books #dragoncon #albacon #fandom fest

[onehellofashipper]

Sometimes little things can be magical too

#tris talks #tristyn talks #I needed to slow down

[oikawas-toris]

Has to be one of my all time favorites

#fandom: given #audio #tris talks #Spotify

[isjasz]

Remember, there is always a great big beautiful tomorrow.

#goodtimeswithscar #hermitcraft #hermitblr #my art #Wanted to draw a little tribute after watching the finale so i finished this a while ago and kept procrastinating on posting it HSAJKDHAHw #Jellie's design is from the scarland artbook <3 #man ill miss s9 but!! love how scar tried to end the episode with such a positive note there i love this quote #remember that season 10 will be coming soon and there are endless possibilities for an amazing new chapter to begin :D #edit uh ive seen ppl talk about it so a little note #The cape is directly referenced from the scarland artbook and was not meant to be Techno's or Ren's cape #but you guys can take it how you want ig o7

[frownyalfred]

a random socialite at a fundraiser: you know Bruce, that boy of yours is getting to be a little too pretty. heh.

Bruce Wayne, who was also "too pretty" at fourteen and is absolutely ready to castrate anyone who even looks at Dick directly: oh?

#bruce wayne #batman #dc #batfamily #dick grayson #dc comics #tw gross old men at fundraisers #not sure how to tag that #but yes bruce was too pretty and ughhh the angst #it's not explored enough #but you KNOW he's not letting them touch dick #alfred tried his best but he couldn't be in the spotlight WITH bruce every second #and now bruce lets them talk and smiles and walks away and then ruins them

[thebusylilbee]

just found out about the Cinnamon-headed green pigeon... holy shit how gorgeous

#holy christ #if I saw a bird like that in the wild I would cry I think #pigeons #Cinnamon-headed green pigeon #doves #columbidae #birds #colombar à cou roux #bee tries to talk #*** #pigeon

[kindnessoverperfection]

Please, if you can, take a moment to read and share this because I feel like I'm screaming underwater.

NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) stigma is rampant right now, and seems to be getting progressively worse. Everyone is using it as a buzzword in the worst ways possible, spreading misinformation and hatred against a real disorder.

I could go on a long time about how this happened, why it's factually incorrect (and what the disorder actually IS), why it's harmful, and the changes I'd like to see. But to keep this concise, I'll simply link to a few posts under the cut for further reading.

The point of this post is a plea. Please help stop the spread of stigma. Even in mental health communities, even around others with personality disorders, in neurodivergent "safe" spaces, other communities I thought people would be supportive in (e.g. trans support groups, progressive spaces in general), it keeps coming up. So I'm willing to bet that a lot of people on this site need to see this.

Because it's so hard to exist in this world.

My disorder already makes me feel as if I'm worthless and unlovable, like there's something inherently wrong and damaged about me. And it's so much harder to fight that and heal when my daily life consists of:

Laughing and spending time with my friends, doing my utmost best to connect and stay present and focused on them, trying to let my guards down and be real and believe I'm lovable- when suddenly they throw out the word "narcissist" to describe horrible people or someone they hate, or the conversation turns to how evil "people with narcissistic personality disorder" are. (Seriously, you don't know which of your friends might have NPD and feels like shit when you say those things & now knows that you'd hate them if you knew.)

Trying to look up "mental health positivity for people with npd", "mental health positivity cluster bs", only to find a) none of that, and b) more of the same old vile shit that makes me feel terrible about myself.

Having a hard time (which is constant at this point) and trying to look up resources for myself, only to again, find the same stigma. And no resources.

Not having any clue how to help myself, because even the mental health field is spitting so much vitriol at people with DISORDERS (who they're supposed to be helping!) that there's no solid research or therapy programs for people like me.

Losing close friends when they find out, despite us having had a good relationship before, and them KNOWING me and knowing that I'm not like the trending image of pwNPD. Because now they only see me through the lens of stigma and misinformation.

Hearing the same stigma come up literally wherever I go. Clubs. Meetings. Any online space. At the bus stop. At the mall. At a restaurant. At work. Buzzword of the year that everyone loooves loudly throwing around with their friends or over the phone. Feels awesome for me, makes my day so much better/s

I could go on for a long time, but I'm scared no one will read/rb this if it gets too much longer.

So please. Stop using the word "narcissist" as a synonym for "abusive".

Stop bringing up people you hate who you believe to have NPD because of a stigmatizing article full of misinformation whenever someone with actual NPD opens their mouth. (Imagine if people did that with any other disorder! "Hey, I'm autistic." "Oh... my old roommate screamed at me whenever I made noise around him, and didn't understand my needs, which seems like sensory overload and difficulty with social cues. He was definitely autistic. But as long as you're self-aware and always restraining your innate desire to be an abusive asshole, you're okay I guess, maybe." ...See how offensive and ignorant that is?)

Stop preventing healthcare for people with a disorder just because it's trendy to use us as a scapegoat.

If you got this far, thank you for reading, and please share this if you can. Further reading is under the cut.

NPD Criteria, re-written by someone who actually has NPD

Stigma in the DSM

Common perception of the DSM criteria vs how someone may actually experience them (Keep in mind that this is the way I personally experience these symptoms, and that presentation can vary a lot between individuals)

"Idk, the stigma is right though, because I've known a lot of people with NPD who are jerks, so I'm going to continue to support the blockage of treatment for this condition."

(All of these were written by me, because I didn't want to link to other folks' posts without permission, but if you want to add your own links in reblogs or replies please feel free <3)

#actuallynpd #signal boost #actuallyautistic #mental health awareness #narcissistic personality disorder #people also need to realize that mental health professionals aren't immune from bias #(it really shouldn't come as a shock that the mental health field has a longstanding pattern of misunderstanding and mistreating ppl who ar #mentally ill or otherwise ND) #the first therapist i brought up NPD to like. literally pulled out the DSM bc she could barely remember the criteria. then said that there' #no way I have it because I have low self-esteem lmaoooooo #anyway throwback to being at work and chatting with a co-worker. and the conversation turning to mental health. and him saying that #he tries to stay informed and be aware and supportive of mental health conditions & that he doesn't want to be ignorant or spread harmful #misinformation. and then i mentioned that i do a lot of research into mental health stuff and i listed a bunch of things. which included #several personality disorders. one of which was NPD. #and after listening to my whole ass list he zeroed in on the NPD and immediately started talking about how narcissists are abusive and #he knew someone who had NPD and how the person who had it had an addiction and died from the addiction in a horrible way and he #was glad he did #fun times #or when i decided to be vulnerable and talk abt my self-criticism/self-hatred bc i knew my friends also struggled w that and i wanted to #support them by sharing my own coping methods. and they both(separately!) started picking and prodding at my npd through the lens of stigma #bc i'd recently opened up to them abt having it. they recognized self-hatred as a symptom and still jumped on me for it. despite me #trying to share hurt vulnerable parts of myself to help them and connect with them. #again..... fun times

[calware]

new type of person just dropped. who even does this. what's going on here

#they tried to.... use the turing test....? on a tumblr blog...........? #and took this answer as a failure...?? #AND TRIED TO TALK TO STAFF OVER IT? #''only 5 posts'' ????????