#truly processed

[lisafahrenheit]

been thinkin about how my ethics professor back in undergrad was like.

look. there’s no such thing as perfect altruism. you’ll always get something out of helping or being kind to others, whether it’s a stronger relationship or returned kindness or just the feeling of having done good. there’s nothing inherently bad about getting something from doing good either, especially since it’s completely unavoidable. people being rewarded for putting love into the world doesn’t make the world a worse place. so just do as much good as you can and don’t worry about being “selfless” while doing it, because being truly selfless is in fact impossible.

and like man did that take the pressure off of Being A Good Person!! you’re allowed to enjoy helping people! you’re allowed to be kind without worrying that you’re maybe secretly just doing it for yourself!! it’s okay if you are doing it for yourself because you’re still being kind to others!!!!!

#like truly i think that was what finally finished the process of un-fucking my brain from all of the Catholic Trauma #i don’t know what made me think of this again or what possessed me to make this post but. voila.

[izzyspussy]

the rich =/= someone who has something I can't afford :(

the rich = the fucking rich

#LORD #jack facts #the damn things are truly overlapping today huh #christ #i do vague sir but i do not vague at you sir #soc #reading process

[nicholasnelsons]

if you think that you are entitled to know a celebrity’s sexuality, block me. if you think you are entitled to know anyone’s sexuality, block me. if you constantly throw around the word queerbait when you don’t even know what that word is, block me. if you think real people with real lives and real feelings are capable of queerbaiting, block me. if you think that you are owed something just because you are a fan of a certain piece of media or actor in the spotlight, block me. and also fuck you

#yeah this is about kit connor yeah i just heard yeah i’m absolutely heartbroken #the fact that it got to this point ??? i have nothing else to say really but the people that bullied him truly should be ashamed #idk anymore i’m literally trying to process and having such a difficult time with this one #heartstopper #kit connor

[mcmuppet]

i'm so unwell its not even funny

LANDO???? SHIRTLESS??????? TAN??? ON AUX PLAYING OLD MAROON 5???????

he's literally the man of my dreams i need him

credits to @/norrislando_fans on insta

#i need him BIBLICALLY #this man #i literally cried over this video #i truly don't know how to process this #ooooooof #🥵🥵🥵 #summer vaca did him well honestly idec that we saw like none of it #i don't think i would've survived getting daily content from summer lando #lando norris #mclaren

[wizardyandcheesesammich]

Absolutely hilarious that most of the server has either 1) forgotten Wilbur or 2) never even met him, so everyone just assumes Phil has two kids?

Devastated at the fact I don't speak either portuguese or french, I need to know what the logic is for why one dude has two eggs and no one questions it.

(This post was brought to you by the uncountable number of times people refer to both Chayanne and Tallulah as Phil's son and daughter without much thought.)

#I know some are just doing it for the bit #but the ones who truly have no clue wilbur exist and see phil with two kids #i crave to know their thought process #qsmp #q!philza #q!wilbur #q!tallulah #q!chayanne #do people think he just got a funky deal? buy one get one free?

[lilybug-02]

#sneak peek #whew this next update is taking me longer than I thought I was going to #I have a two hour time limit for my drawing app. And I don’t always draw every day. So it can be a slow process. #and I also don’t really have future pages like- up and ready to make so it’s idnfdfvdvddv it just takes me a while #I wish I had a better upload schedule rather than just like once a month. But it just kind of be like that. :( #I’m a busy college kid. I’m truly surprised. I’m even still doing this comic. I’m glad I am.

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

At the start of this project all I wanted was to 'learn how to draw' using comics as a medium and the MDZS audio drama as inspiration.

I've come *very* far from making simple, 3 panel black and white comics, and I truly do intend to go even further. Thank you to everyone who cheered me on throughout 2023, it has been an incredible year in so many ways I never could have imagined. I look forwards to drawing throughout 2024 B*)

#poorly drawn mdzs #art summary #It's so interesting looking back at how my style and technique changed throughout the year! #I used PD-wwx as the consistent factor (October is an exception) and you can see so many processes going on. #My little petri dish amoeba (with a little red bow to tell him apart from the other amoeba) <3 #Whether it's getting new markers or trying out a new shading style - it's cool seeing a snapshot of my journey like this B*) #There's certainly been a slower curve to my overt improvement *but* I have become so much faster! #My life outside of drawing has been hectic and at several points extremely stressful this year. For all the work this blog has been- #-It has truly been a life saving anchor when the darkest of times have hit. #Love is hard work. Change is even harder work. Sticking to a goal I set out for myself and striving to keep going was worth it. #And I love drawing. I think there has always been something in me that longed for this. And it is finally tangible! I can draw!!! #I wanted to make a more elaborate year reflection where I looked back at my favourite comics and jokes. #but I'll leave that to the one year anniversary. #I have also been collecting a ton of statistics throughout the year and I am desperate to share them. I'm that kind of nerd B*) #I can never say it enough: Thank you all for the kindness and support. I wish everyone a lovely 2024!!!

[starrylevi]

You’re walking up to Levi, catching him as he hands a swirled lollipop to the last child on line. You see him take a pause for a short moment, staring at the lollipop with a small frown as if he’s remembering something. He briefly closes his eyes, lamenting in whatever memory is in his head before opening them and giving the excited child the treat. For anyone else, this doesn’t mean anything. But you know Levi, and he’s had moments like these before, when anything in his environment triggers a memory. He wears the same pained expression every time, and every time you feel your heart ache.

“Hey.” You say softly with a small smile as you approach him, gently placing your hand on his forearm.

He looks up at you, his eyes sad and childlike for a moment before he answers. “Hey.” He sighs.

You hate seeing him like this. “You know….they’re probably making fun of you right now.” You tease, trying to make him feel better.

You watch Levi’s eyebrows knit together out of confusion.

“Hange would never let you live this down.” You clarify for him, referring to the fact that he was giving out candy.

Levi immediately rolls his eyes but you see a ghost of a smile on his lips. It doesn’t last long. “Good ol four eyes…” You hear him say quietly, looking straight ahead as his features soften at the thought of them.

You move your hand from the loose grip on his arm to his shoulder before leaning down to mumble into his hair. “I miss them too.”

You feel Levi’s hand move over to where your hand is resting on his shoulder, his two fingers securing your hold on him. His touch is gentle but firm. He doesn’t say anything but he doesn’t have to. He lets out a small hum of approval, briefly closing his eyes at the feeling of comfort you bring him.

You can’t bring back his fallen comrades; you can’t replace them either. You know you can’t fill that hole. However, that doesn’t stop you from pouring love into it.

#I’m truly not okay right now I’m still processing #The way he looks at the lollipop before he hands it to the kid 😭 #This isn’t the best but I’m trying to just get my feelings out #I just want to comfort him all day everyday #I’m sure the next few posts will be more processing posts #This is how I deal #levi #levi ackerman #levi aot #levi x reader #levi x you #levi ackerman x reader #levi ackerman x you #levi x y/n #levi drabble #levi headcanons #levi fluff #levi attack on titan #aot spoilers #postwar!levi #manda writes

[laundrybiscuits]

Eddie’s doing some dumb trick with a couple of wooden spoons, clever hands making them move through the air in improbable ways, and Steve’s about to bite his whisk in half. 

He’d thought for sure that Eddie would be going home the first week; Edward Munson, 29, bartender/musician from Brighton with mismatched tattoos and wild hair, seemed like exactly the kind of pretentious asshole who would flame out early with some ill-advised hipster experimentation. If Steve (28, social worker from Indiana, USA) had been a complete asshole, he’d have said that Eddie didn’t have the fundamentals. That he was all sizzle, no steak. 

It’s a good thing Steve’s not a complete asshole, because Eddie’s been blowing the technicals out of the water so consistently it’s actually pretty fucking embarrassing. His signatures and showstoppers are making a very respectable showing too, except for the time he tried to incorporate some fresh pandan extract and fucked up the liquid ratio, leaving him with a dripping mess that Mary’d declined to even try. 

Afterwards, Steve had seen him leaning against a tree and struggling to light a cigarette. Steve went over for no particular reason, flicking on his lighter and holding it out like a peace offering. Eddie looked at him warily, but bent over the offered flame. 

“Can’t believe I made it through this one,” Eddie said after a moment, white smoke curling out of his mouth.

“Yeah, I feel like that every week.” Steve leaned against the tree next to Eddie. It was a big tree, the kind that’s probably been growing in this field since before England was even England. 

“Nah, but—c’mon, you know what I mean.”

“You had some bad luck with your showstopper. Happens to the best of us, man. Your signature hand pies looked sick as hell.” Steve’s own hand pies had turned out pretty well, so he was feeling generous. It had only been the third week; plenty of time for Steve to snag Star Baker, though even by that point, Steve had been getting the creeping feeling that he was being a little too American about the whole thing. Everyone else seemed to think competitiveness was some kind of deadly sin. It was—actually kind of nice, to get the same kind of nerves he’d always gotten before high school basketball games, but know that he wasn’t really fighting against anyone except himself in the tent.

Anyway, the very next week, Eddie had done some kind of kickass gothic castle with a shiny chocolate dragon and gotten Star Baker for the second time. Steve had clapped him on the back, appropriately manly. Eddie had pulled Steve into a real hug, arms tight around Steve’s shoulders and his whole lean body pressed up close and warm. It had only lasted a moment, and then Eddie had bounded over to Mel and Sue, both of whom he’s been thoroughly charming since the get-go. 

Steve thinks that when this season—or, uh, series—airs, no matter where Eddie places, the entire country is going to be just as charmed. Eddie’s going to get whatever kind of cookbook deal or streaming show he wants. Sponsors will take one look at that handsome face and charismatic grin, and a whole world of possibilities is going to open up for Eddie. 

Steve’s not in it for any of that, of course. He’s here kind of by accident, because Robin pushed him to apply, and it’s a goddamn miracle he’s been holding his own. Hell, it’s a miracle he’s in this country at all. When Robin had started looking at the Cambridge MPhil program in linguistics, she’d said wouldn’t it be great if and he’d snorted, yeah right, like I could ever get whatever job I’d need to move to another freaking country, but then—well. Things had happened the way they’d happened, and now Robin’s almost finished with her degree and Steve is taking time off from the London charity he works at in order to be on Bake Off. 

He’s told all this to the cameras, plus the stuff about how baking started as a way for him to connect with the kids he used to babysit in Indiana, blah blah blah. He thinks it’s probably too boring for them to air, but he gets that they have to try to get a story anyway. 

Eddie Munson, on the other hand, is probably going to be featured in all the series promos. Steve is rabidly curious about what Eddie’s story is, but he hasn’t worked up the nerve to just ask. It should be the easiest thing in the world. They’ve got kind of a camaraderie going, the two of them; a bit of a bromance, as Mel’s put it more than once. 

It’s true they get along pretty well, and the cameras have been picking up on it: on the way Eddie’ll wander over to Steve’s bench like a stray cat whenever they get some downtime, how they wind up horsing around sometimes, working off leftover adrenaline from the frantic rush of caramelization or whatever. There’s the time Eddie had hopped up on a stool to deliver some kind of speech from Macbeth, of all things, and overbalanced right onto Steve, who had barely managed to keep them both from careening into a stand mixer. Sue had patted Eddie on the shoulder and said, “Well, boys, that’ll be going in the episode for sure.”

They both get along with the other contestants just fine, of course, but they’re two guys of about the same age with no wife and kids waiting at home. It’s only natural that they’re gravitating together, becoming something like friends, Steve figures. It’s pretty great that he’s getting at least one real friend out of this whole thing.

It would be even greater if Steve could stop thinking about Eddie’s hands in decidedly non-friendly ways. With all the paperwork he’s signed, he can’t even complain to Robin about how Eddie looks with his sleeves pushed up to show off the tattoos on his forearms, kneading dough and grunting a little under his breath with effort. Steve had almost forgotten to pre-heat his oven that day. 

Two benches away, Eddie fumbles the spoons he’s been juggling with a clatter, and he bursts out laughing, glancing over at Steve like Steve’s in on the joke. Steve grins back, heart twanging painfully in his chest, and thinks: well, fuck. Guess this is happening.

#this is a TRULY bonkers AU like wtf even is the venn diagram of steddie fans and people who exclusively like the BBC GBBO #I know nothing about the process of creating reality tv so I most likely will not be continuing this #(plus ST is just so intrinsically American to me) #but I saw the GBBO musical last week and that's what prompted this little abomination #steddie #GBBO AU #ETA: ftr I rated the GBBO musical 2.5/5. I have a colour-coded spreadsheet. #decent songwriting & solid performances but the emotional beats/pacing were all over the place and it did some weird revisionist callbacks #plus the level of assumed thirst for not!Paul Hollywood was wildly off-putting to me #a person who finds neither his personality nor his appearance in any way attractive #anyway I paid £15 for my ticket and that felt right to me. I will see literally any show for £15.

[eyes-of-nine]

truly what a guy

#malevolent #malevolent podcast #arthur lester #arthur malevolent #john doe #john malevolent #my art #ahfdgfghsdd i have so many important things to do but these two have overtaken all of my waking thoughts so i'm fucked to say the least #adgfd i just wanna talk about them with someone but no one i know has the energy for that 12h long infodump #straight up today was my first truly no work day in a few weeks and what did i do? spent half the day figuring out how i want to draw arthur #still not sure if this the direction i wanna take his design in but somehow along the process he ended up as like my ideal look on masc days #tbh i don't have the time to unpack whatever that says about me ywy #john's design is very much still a first draft but i can't think about it too much or i might just actually go insane #this podcast makes me unwell(affectionate) #the universe is so evil for not letting me just draw them all day long ywy #in an ideal world it would be no diploma no uni applications only malevolent #.....i'm gonna stop with the rambling now #so yeah go listen to malevolent

[screwpinecaprice]

@glowweek Day 1

DARK | GLOW

They stayed up until 5 am and now it's almost 4 pm.

Aahshsjgwgiashsh He's suppose to be blocking Connie's face from the sunbeam after he woke up from her stirring to cover her own face.

#Yeah I partially got this idea from that time the light hit Connie's eyes on 'I Am My Monster'. :P #Yooo please don't think too much about where the light is coming from vs the sunbeam hitting them. 😭 #When all else fail BLUR #connverse #Connie Maheswaran #Steven Quartz Universe #SU #glow week #connverse week #Aw man. I gotta get a new laptop as soon as I can. Rendering is such a #fun process and the thing lagging too early on just ruins the experience. 😑 #my shiz #OH CRAP I forgot to check how this looks on my phone. I hope it's not too dark. I mean it looks fine from my graphic tab's screen? #I wanted to incorporate both dark and glow. So I did want the dark parts to be truly dark. But like. Not too dark hopefully. #glowweek

[turtleblogatlast]

The fact that Leo can go literally anywhere on earth to be alone with his thoughts at a single moment’s notice is something that shakes around in my head all the time. Like, portals and teleportation are amazing and convenient abilities both in and out of battle, but they could also so easily be used to run away as well.

I don’t think Leo ever would, at least not most of the time. He loves his family too much, and is too dependent on their love and attention to cut himself off so suddenly like that, but it’s a very real possibility nonetheless.

It’s a good thing Leo’s overall temper is more on the mild side and he prefers going to his room or something to complete solitude, because it really is dangerous for a kid to have the ability to isolate themselves like that at their fingertips.

#rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt leo #rottmnt headcanons #rise leo #and like #it doesn’t even have to be on purpose either #anything could happen where Leo goes out to travel real quick somewhere and suddenly he can’t get back #sure Donnie has the trackers but trackers only do so much when the one you’re tracking is across the globe #that one short of Leo ending up trapped hanging off the Eiffel Tower all alone when he’s still new to portaling #is actually a bit terrifying when viewed through a more serious adult lens #don’t mind me just doing what I like to do best aka think about Leo and his abilities #I’m still saying tho that his abilities make running away so easily #and he’s quite good at that #even if he’s physically there his MASK lets him run away from truly processing unwanted situations or conversations #imagine Draxum telling the boys about the other hidden cities and Leo takes it upon himself to go scout them out #and he does so going around and letting his bros know of the cities he finds here and there #only to end up in one that cuts off foreign mystic energy #like imagine being suddenly cut off and alone #this ability can be SO USEFUL up until it’s cut off midway and suddenly uh oh it’s horrifying

[zosonils]

an aspect of shadow's trauma that i've been thinking about a lot since the sa2 replay is how fucked his perspective of gerald must be after everything, especially assuming he was family to shadow just as much as maria was [which i do every day]. the man who raised you, created you from nothing but tissue samples and energy and hope, the man who could have easily decided you were a simple thing to be used and yet welcomed you into his family as easily as his own granddaughter, who treated you as a person when so many others treated you as a lab rat or a weapon or another soon-to-be-failed prototype, in a moment of unfathomable despair, decided you were to be a tool that would carry out his final plan. perhaps treating you this way was another symptom of his mental breakdown, perhaps deep down he's always seen you as nothing more than a thing to reach his goals with. you will never know, because he is dead. every comforting memory you have of him, every time he encouraged your curiosity or stayed with you during a test he could have observed from afar or told you how proud of you he was, forever tainted by the thought that it could have all been a lie. a variable in an experiment, a means to an end. how would you ever trust anyone ever again man i'm in shreds

#and sure in shth he gets to know what he was made for and that he was never meant to be a weapon but it's hardly closure #because that recording was from before gerald's breakdown. it could've been the illusion of caring as much as anything else #to be clear this post isn't saying that gerald didn't love or care about shadow. personally i think he really truly did #but he said and did some awful things while he was grieving too much to think straight and didn't have his family to ground him anymore #and he was killed before being given the chance to process his grief and what he was doing or to reunite with shadow #so that's the last version of his creator that shadow will ever know. and it'll probably eat at him for the rest of his life #sorry for 1am shadow sadstuck i promise i have a funny post queued up for next time #just fucking whatever #shadow the hedgehog

[crybaby-bkg]

cw: Bakugou dies but comes back to life, “comes back wrong” trope, implied fighting, angst

When Bakugou died, you’re not sure how you went on living. Grief had taken over your life, sat you in the passenger side while it cruised off the highway into icy waters. And even then, you couldn’t find the energy to drown.

It’s why there’s a sudden uptick of energy when you’re promised to have him back. Some top scientists contact you months after his death, tell you to hurry down to the headquarters labs, come and rejoice for what you’re about to witness. And you’re horrified, to say the least.

“This isn’t my husband.” Are your first words when you walk in, watch the figure on the other side of the glass examine its own hands. It looks like your husband but—but his hair isn’t the right shade of blond all over. His nose bridge had a slight bump after a scuffle with a villain. He had a scar on his hand but—but it never looked like it was to sew a pinky beside the other fingers.

“Is that really my husband?” You ask next in disbelief, slowly entering the room. Bakugou’s head snaps up, his eyes a little brighter than you remember but—they hold so much emotion. So much memory, so much panic, so much guilt.

“I left you.” He mutters, his voice raspy and ragged, and you wonder if it’ll always be like this now. It makes you cry a little harder than it should, but you only embrace each other. He’s cold and his shoulders don’t hold the same mass and his back doesn’t carry the same scars. There’s one, jagged and rough, running down his back, and you think, you think that’s where they slipped a new spine in.

“Welcome back home.” You tell him, weeks after meeting him again, new and not totally—Katsuki. He’s stiff and he doesn’t immediately take off his boots when he enters, and it worries you. Makes you think if you’ve just let a stranger into your home, one that has stolen your dead husbands face. Makes you wonder if he’ll be as loving as Katsuki once was, or if he’ll become your monster looming over you with the guilt of not being able to rest anymore.

“I’ve missed you so much.” You whisper against his mouth one night, a little while after he’s moved back. You don’t know why you lay under him, why you let him nestle himself inside of you, why you let him hold you against his chest. Katsuki always ran his hands over your cheeks and neck whenever he held you like this, but this…man, only holds himself up with his hands resting beside your head. It’s alien, how he looks at you, how his hips are methodically measured with every thrust, how he kisses you every 8 seconds. You wonder if he’s more robot than Frankenstein monster.

“Why did you come back to me like this?” You ask him one night, barricaded in the bathroom away from him. You can hear his sobs on the other side, his pleading to be let in. He tells you he never wanted to come back if he had to be like this, that he’s sorry, please let him in, he misses the warmth of your skin, he’s never been so cold before, he’s never liked the cold.

“Is this considered cheating?” You ask yourself aloud one night, when Bakugou is forced back to the lab when he becomes too…un-Bakugou. To sleep with a man that is your husband in every way but? Your husband has been dead for a year now, and yet you stroke the chin of the man that tries so hard to be him everyday, but fails so miserably at it every time.

“I’ll come back to you right this time.” Bakugou promises to you when he’s strapped down to leave for the lab and before he’s sedated. But you don’t believe him—you never did. Your husband is dead, and this animated corpse has been nothing but a cheap mockery of everything you’ve lost and something you will never truly get back.

#I was writing this and then checked my dash and saw another post about this #and felt so guilty and almost didn’t post it aidjdkfj #but I love this trope too much to delete it!!!!! #I’ve written about this in my published book before and it’s one of my favorite things I’ve ever written #there’s just such a deep heartache about having to grieve someone #and then the grieving process being interrupted by the one you lost #and battling with their death even though you still look at them everyday again #but it’s just not right?? it’s not the same?? #they have the same face (kinda) but it’s truly not hem #not them* heck #it reminds me of a convo I had in a psych class about making a new cloned version of yourself #where the question was ‘is the clone/new version still you? or are they an entirely new person now?’ #and at first I said they’re still me you know? they have my face n body n memories #but my prof told me no!! after they have been cloned they are sentient and are now their own person making new memories apart from you #and I thought that was soooo interesting and it makes me fall in love w this trope every time #you’re my person but only a version. you’re who I love but a newer person. you’re not them. you’re everything I’ve missed about them #so heartbreaking I LOVE ITTTT #sorry I’m rapping it’s the sleep meds kicking in #okay bai #bakugou treats! 🍬 #—new treat in the streets! 🍫

[buckttommy]

christopher sneaking into chimney's room in fight or flight. he's so full of love, that's why his whole attitude in s7 re: dating is so callous and incongruent to who he is. like, this is the kid whose known chimney for all of half a year and decided he wanted sneak away from the adults/his dad to sit at his bedside and keep him company even though he was asleep/unconscious and you're telling ME he doesn't regard his girl friends feelings with the UTMOST care?????? get outta here with that. he really is a mini buck. feeling everything so deeply with absolutely no idea what to do with it all so he just smushes it down and creates different problems that don't need to exist. bless him.

#there's also something to be said about the whole nature vs. nurture of it all and the age old scientific question of #are we born or are we made #and there's something so. world defining. over the fact that christopher has spent so much time with buck he's subconsciously #picked up his worst coping habits. and it truly is a subconscious thing because it's not like buck/eddie are talking to their kid about how #buck used to be a ho (affectionate) so that introduces this other idea of christopher's subconscious processing #both of like. buck's relationships and why those relationships ended #blahblahblah anyway no one fucking cares jack i KNOW trust me i know i'm just talking to myself here but hm! interesting! #tv: 911 #jack.txt #christopher diaz

[ghostlyeris]

hey fucked up thought but do you think part of the reason that adaine was so comfortable with gorgug getting angry with her is because her parents never did?

no matter what adaine has done, she's never been met with more than mild disappointment from them. you know she was never given praise either since success was just expected and assumed from her, meaning the most emotion she ever saw them show towards her was passive at best.

do you think she ever wished for them to just get mad? to show her anything more than casual disdain?

#saw fanart of adaine telling gorgug to get angry at her and truly processed just how fucked that was #like go girl support your friend!!! but also!! girl? you good? #adaine abernant #gorgug thistlespring #fantasy high #fhjy spoilers #fhjy