#trust me its not worth going on there just for the occasional funny meme :( | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

fermented-writers-block · 3 years

Text

PART 1 of 6 of the Owl Deity Hooty Theory

[NEXT PART]

[OWL DEITY HOOTY THEORY MASTERPOST] (in development)

(TLDR at bottom of post)

Over several long months of research and analysis since March of 2020, I have been following an utterly fascinating thread of potential misdirection and subtle details throughout The Owl House, and today, I would like to start weaving together of what I believe could become one of the biggest and most cleverly disguised twists in the entire show.

To begin, let’s take a look at the B plot of Understanding Willow:

On first glance, it’s an ultimately inconsequential sidestory with the sole purpose of justifying an excuse to keep Luz and Amity in Willow’s mind, as well as providing some well-needed room to breathe and release tension after the veryemotionally charged confrontation with Inner Willow. After half an episode of Eda and King outdoing the other in ridiculous ways to win Gus’ vote and Gus running off in frustration at the end of the episode from Hooty’s inane rambling, it’s easy to laugh off Gus’ pick and assume that nothing/of value was said when he closed the door for the interview.

However, if one pays close attention to that very scene, Hooty actually canstill be heard (if faintly) underneath Eda and King’s grumbling, interestingly talking about how “It all started with a hunt. Blood red skies. That’s right, I was created-.”

Now, while it may seem silly to focus on dialogue from Hooty of all characters, this A) tells us that there was an event in the past involving blood red skies and a hunt of some kind, B) that Hooty had been created close to said event, and C) implies that what he knows but can’t tell as a story worth a damn is EXTREMELY important to be included and be hidden in such a manner.

For comparison, the only other instance of dialogue being tucked away in the background in the entire show is in Wing It Like Witches:

During the lecture at the beginning of the episode, the history teacher openswith lore on Belos appointing a head witch to each coven over 50 years ago, immediately cluing in the audience to try and decipher the rest of the lecture as it moves to the background. Adding to this is how the musical sting when Luz shows off her movie obscures what he says even further, making it even more of a intriguing puzzle that the creators clearly intended for viewers to pick up on and attempt to solve.

In contrast, the hidden dialogue of Hooty’s interview is much shorter and not as hard to decipher as the teacher’s history lesson, but at the same time, there are few to no indicators whatsoever in that scene to clue in the audience to even check for something like that. It comes at the end of an episode where most viewers would have been paradoxically tired out and driven abuzz by the revelations of Amity and Willow’s relationship, doesn’t attempt to draw much attention to itself, and frames itself as a comedic subversion of audience expectations with neither the “greatest witch who ever lived” or the self-proclaimed king of demons being picked by Gus.

Instead, he picks someone that the show portrays constantly as an oblivious and gullible idiot after being described as a “state of the art defense system” at the very beginning of the series. Someone who, despite it being played for laughs, is scarily capable of casually subduing Lilith offscreen one episode and then beating her and an entire squad of Emperor’s Coven members without even the slightest change in personality or temperament.

Someone who, due to being the Owl House itself, could be considered the titular character of the entire show, yet is taken for granted by those who inhabit him and barely gets any respect from even the cutely patronized King - including when Hooty could be interpreted as having potentially been full on DEAD for a time given the use of extremely cartoony X eyes and a lack of vital signs in The Intruder.

And someone who Eda at best tolerates and at worst abandons in personal interactions and only occasionally acknowledges him when he’s actually doing his job. Yet at the same time is so implicitly trusted beyondprotecting her home to the point where - when up against the closest person Eda has to an equal outside of likely Belos - the only actually recognizable spells Eda used in combat were 1) stereotypical energy blasts, 2) a single shield spell in Covention, and 3) a noticeably large reliance on imitations of Hooty above any other spells she could have decided to use instead.

In short, the show repeatedly tells us he is just an idiotic gag character through and through, but at the same time demonstrates he has immense power through both onscreen and offscreen demonstrations, implicitly tells us his importance ahead of time through Eda’s imitations in actually serious situations, and treats his interview and origin story as - if not even more- important to keep secret than a long lore dump about how Belos’ reign works.

After all, there being only two instances of hidden background dialogue in the entire season is already intriguing on its own, but for one to get plenty of clues to draw in people’s attention and for the other to be treated as just another gag about a “mere comic relief character” - aka a good way to draw away attention and lower one’s guard - heavily suggests a far deeper significance buried under layers of misdirection, comedy, and conditioned audience expectations.

I mean, when Eda bragged about being “a bad girl living in a secret fortress,” Hooty followed with a remark about how “I’m the secret.” While that line may sound like Hooty simply being confused as part of a one-off on the surface, it’s an odd dialogue choice for the writers to pick when you think about all the other reminders of his nature as the house itself throughout the season. With the precedent these moments set, it would have been much more appropriate for him to latch onto the “fortress” side of “secret fortress” AND it would have been just as equally funny of a joke about his awareness skills, but instead, Hooty broke away from the established trend to say something that would make people suspicious were it to come from anyone else.

In a way, this reminds me much of the many subtle bits of foreshadowing strewn across the show, like Luz unknowingly describing Amity in Witches Before Wizards and Eda burning a hole through Luz’s coven type quiz that coincidentally selected the same track she had taken at Hexside as “a punky potionist.” At the time of airing, these initially seemed like one-off jokes, but eventually came back in full force several episodes later with Amity’s hidden sensitive feelings and love for the Azura books becoming clear in Lost in Language, and the reveal of Eda’s school track in Something Ventured, Someone Framed with her school misdemeanor pictures.

That said, compared to these individual bits of minor foreshadowing, the jokes about Hooty in Understanding Willow appear to simply be the most obvious pieces in a giant puzzle, implicitly and outright telling attentive viewers that there’s a major mystery to be uncovered here.

In fact, I feel bold enough to say that we could be looking at a twist on a similar scale to that of the Pink Diamond/Rose Quartz and Stanford Pines twists in Steven Universe and Gravity Falls respectively, what with this particular puzzle piece coming from how Gus wanted to make THE greatest interview of all time, and how he was looking for someone who was “interesting, accomplished, AND noteworthy:”

Note the emphasis on the ‘and’ here, as Gus had made a big deal that “people aren’t meantto be all those things” at the beginning of the episode, so as a result, stripping away all the comedic framing of his subplot leaves the intriguing implication that whoever - and, perhaps, what- Hooty is, they really are the most interesting, accomplished, AND noteworthy person out of everyone.

I could go further and talk about why I suspect the mystery surrounding King’s origins, whether true or not, is partially meant to misdirect us from paying attention to Hooty, or how the TOH crew’s could be disguising legitimate clues to his nature among made up and highly meme-able joke answers in order to proliferate said concepts throughout the fandom - thus letting us do all the dirty work of getting ourselves used to the ideas and used to dismissing them at the same time - but to bring things to a close for now, I’d like to leave you all with a question that I’ll start answering next time:

What does it mean when both the most powerful and notorious witch on the Boiling Isles and the possible actual king of demons/the Titan itself/something don’t match up to a house? And what do you think it is that makes him so special to warrant such misdirection?

TLDR: Between Eda’s golem spells, the show stressing his nature as the titular house, his implicit strength, and the odd dialogue and structure of Understanding Willow‘s subplot in relation to him, I believe I have good reason to suspect the show has been giving us many hints towards Hooty being much, much more important than it would like us to currently believe or even joke about. Particularly, through clever uses of comedy to establish and enforce a strong audience bias against looking closely at him or unironically taking him seriously, and to potentially plant the seeds for something I will start exploring in Part 2.

#the owl house #the owl house theory #owl house theory #the owl house speculation #toh theory #the owl house hooty #toh speculation #owl deity hooty theory #long post

263 notes · View notes

quirkless-and-embarrassed · 4 years

Note

Regarding the character ask meme: I'd love to see your take on Tamaki!

HE IS ONE OF MY FAVES. As you can probably tell by my icon. I’m sorry this took me so long, but I couldn’t resist beginning the new season as I was working on this, aaand geeking out over the anime took up more time than I thought 😂

Answers under the cut because I could not resist including lots of images and because whoa this really got away from me. Spoilers for season 4 of the anime!

Favorite things about him:

tl;dr adorable+disaster+badass = instant KO

i. He’s never believed that the quirk makes the hero. Granted, it’s from his own insecurity that he believes that, but even when Mirio’s quirk was a liability, Amajiki looked up to him as a great hero. It’s especially refreshing to see because everyone else places so much emphasis on what their quirk can do.

ii. Also, his insecurity. Amajiki describes himself as a plain, boring person so terrified of failure that his brain goes blank when he even considers it. He’s not blush-y or stutter-y or those other tics associated with cutely shy characters—his face is kinda awkwardly inexpressive…he actually looks constipated when he attempts to address class 1-a during his debut…and I get a sense of stillness from him, like someone who freezes up instead of fidgeting. But he’s not fishing for encouragement. He’s likely to bluntly, unhappily shoot down any attempt to praise him because that makes the pressure even worse! No “thank you for believing in me, I’ll do my best,” no, “oh you’re too kind, that’s not true,” he’s like: “no, just…no. shit. what now? I’m not Mirio.”

iii. His relationship with Mirio. What he admires most about Mirio is how, when he goes down, Mirio always rises back up—like the sun—filled with warmth instead of with self-recrimination. He draws people in and fills them with energy. Amajiki painfully believes he isn’t capable of any of that, but he trusts Mirio, and Mirio tells him that there’s plenty of warmth to him even if Amajiki can’t sense it in himself, and even if Amajiki is filled by fear at the idea of failure, he, too, energizes Mirio when he faces his problems anyways. They talk, build each other up, and accept each others’ feelings. Amajiki still wants to be like Mirio (cue “imitation is the sincerest form of…”), but he’s learning that even though he’ll never be Mirio, he and Mirio are alike in the ways that matter most.

iv. it’s as gay as the day is long.

v. How steadfast he is. Given his anxiety, it’s not immediately obvious, but Amajiki’s doubts and insecurities center on his capabilities and self-worth—not on his principles or about what needs to be done. When he’s worried about something, he doesn’t even try to hide it, there’s something very forthright and grounded about the way he struggles to confront the current obstacle.

vi. He’s such a goofball when he’s alone with Mirio. Here he is pretending to sever his thumb. Look at that smile. And Mirio’s habit of pumping his arms when he’s excited is nearly as cute.

vii. His hero name is awesome. Suneater. Talk about names that represent your ideal self…

viii. Amajiki doesn’t win his battle against Overhaul’s thugs by discovering his confidence and whipping out a super move (which, incidentally, he attempts via flashback+miritama feels and it fails resoundingly). He wins with the power of friendship, but it’s not the typical Power of Friendship spiel.

He fights three side-characters whose names I never remember, so I call them the garbage trio: theft quirk guy (similar to how Amajiki “steals” the forms of what he eats), a guy who manifests crystals, and gluttony guy. Funnily enough, the three have terrible self-esteem issues! They’re fanatically loyal to Overhaul because he’s willing to use them as sacrificial pawns, and being a pawn is better than being rejected as garbage (which each has as his tragic past).

So the narrative presents Amajiki with two types of bonds. Will he identify with the trio’s loyalty to Overhaul, founded on their sense of worthlessness? Or will he identify with their loyalty to one another, founded on their empathy for each others’ tragic pasts? Essentially: what kind of relationship does he have with Mirio?

It’s not even a contest. Amajiki immediately and fully rejects the Overhaul-brand loyalty as brainwashing and focuses on the bond he understands, the “friends don’t eat friends” bond.

So Amajiki recognizes his opponents’ humanity when even they couldn’t. Even though they thought of themselves as nothing more than Overhaul’s tools, Amajiki intuited that the bonkers guy who shouts “eat! eat! eat!” wouldn’t bite his crystal friend when Amajiki used him as a shield. In doing this, Amajiki proved that their lives have more value to each other more than they ever will to Overhaul. He explicitly praises them for trusting each other—something they can take pride in because they forged it themselves—and ultimately removes their masks, symbolically freeing them from Overhaul’s ownership.

It was a cool idea because usually I see the protagonist summon up reserves of power he didn’t know he had in order to protect his comrades, but when Amajiki was inspired by remembering how Mirio believes in him, it doesn’t actually work because the garbage trio calls on their own bond to counter his power-up. Or usually it’s the antagonist who turns the protagonists’ love for each other against them, and here it was reversed. Except Amajiki used their friendship against them not out of contempt for their bond, “oh your love makes you so weak and predictable,” but out of respect for it, “love is what makes you strong, and I know that because it makes me strong, too.”

ix. His weird, pointy ears.

x. His dub voice acting: it’s stellar. Props to Aaron Dismuke, highly recommend watching his episodes in the dub.

Least favorite things about him:

His first name, Tamaki. It just never sticks in my mind—Amajiki is much more distinctive. (Apparently I have some sort of big three mental block, because I can rarely remember Mirio’s and Nejire’s last names, either.)

He didn’t really grow or learn anything from his fight against the garbage trio. He was already confident in his bond with Mirio, and the whole reason he volunteered to fight the trio was that he thought he could win, so it was basically a high-stakes training exercise in sticking to his guns. I think the purpose of the fight was to teach the audience that he and Mirio are a positive foil for bakudeku, providing another way Mirio is superior to Midoriya + amping Mirio up before his tragedy-slash-victory, so it’s a shame Amajiki’s most major scene wasn’t about himself.

I wish he had more screen time, I wish he had more development, I wish we got his reaction to Mirio losing his quirk, I wish had scenes with more characters than just Mirio, Kirishima, and Fat Gum, etc. The usual gripes about faves who are side characters.

Favorite lines:

Ch132 – I love how forthright he is lol. No attempt to put up a strong front.

Ch132 – When the thug Amajiki’s fighting shouts at him, his feelings are hurt 😂 also bonus for kiri trying to comfort him

Ch135 – cool as a cucumber

And two I won’t include the panels for…

His badass line in 141, “I might not understand your rage. Your grief. Everything that led you here…but I know all about solid bonds! And my friends don’t use each other! Because friends don’t eat friends.”

and when he collapses after beating the garbage trio:*THUD* Huh…why’s the floor so close to my face?doofus

BROTPs:

Kirishima!! His pep talks to Amajiki while they were on patrol were really cute. I can only imagine how he handles Kirishima and Tetsutetsu! He’s totally the third wheel, and normally he’s happy to be! But sometimes he watches the two hype each other up and gets depressed about it because he’s never that positive and encouraging. Sometimes Fat Gum leaves Amajiki in charge and it seriously stresses him out because Tetsutetsu occasionally charges off to do his own thing and it’s a whole ordeal to rein him in.

And oh shit, Nejire’s personality is just as cute as Amajiki’s, I’d love to see more of the two of them hanging out. (and just…more of Nejire in general, please. Her debut was so funny and then Horikoshi did nothing with her.)

In class-a, I’m curious to see how Amajiki and Yaoyorozu would get along. They’re both gifted students with confidence issues and quirks that depend on eating, so it would be nice to see them hit it off. I’d also be interested to see Amajiki and Bakugo interact, especially with Kirishima there.

Also, since Amajiki has such a preoccupation with exuberant, confident people, I’d love to see him somehow meet Inasa.

This isn’t a brotp, but I’ll bet Nighteye intimidated the shit out of Amajiki… Mirio told Amajiki endless anecdotes about Nighteye but it didn’t work, till the day he dies Amajiki will still get clammy any time he thinks of Nighteye’s glare or the purported tickle machine.

Again not a brotp, but I’d love to see Amajiki vs. Shigaraki. That sounds like an awesome fight. (…ideally before Shigaraki gets all OP and only Midoriya can beat him.)

OTP:

Mirio.

NOTP:

Nobody comes to mind.

Random headcanons:

Most of the food Amajiki eats goes into his quirk; he doesn’t properly extract its caloric and nutritional value, and if he’s not careful, he could accidentally become malnourished. (It also makes it difficult to put on muscle.) So he eats a ton, to make sure he has enough to fuel both his quirk and his body, and he’s self-conscious at how much more he eats than other people.

When Amajiki vomits, his quirk is weakened to the point it’s basically null. He has to take a break and chow down before he can use it again. …Re-ingesting the puke is…not an option.

Clothing is a big issue for his hero work. He could develop a really powerful fighting style, one that involves producing limbs from his back and torso, if he were willing to wear a little less…but that’s never going to happen. Mirio can run around naked, but Amajiki can’t!

I don’t know if this is a translation quirk or fanon or what, but I adore it when Nejire calls Amajiki “chicken-hearted” in fanfiction. It’s a short, cute joke about his quirk and I wholeheartedly hc it. I also think Amajiki is closer to Nejire than Mirio is.

Amajiki doesn’t deal with his self-esteem issues by minimizing his challenges. He doesn’t make cheap compromises like, “ok, I know I can do this because it’s so easy even someone like me can do it.” He goes for broke, for being the spectacular hero Suneater, because even if he can’t perceive his own positive qualities, he believes that they’re there.

One of the (many) reasons Amajiki admires Mirio is that Mirio admires him, and Amajiki wants to be able to like himself, too.

When it comes down to it, his self-worth is nowhere near as desperately poor as the garbage trio because he knows true friendship. Maybe if he’d never met Mirio, Amajiki would have been susceptible to their sort of devotion, but now he never will be because Mirio’s encouraged him to value himself. Amajiki won’t accept a bond that relies on degrading yourself—which is important to know, since Amajiki constantly compares himself to Mirio. But Amajiki’s sense of inferiority is chronic without being proportionately deep. He adopted the name Suneater to declare himself Mirio’s equal, and his climactic line of the garbage trio battle, “friends don’t eat friends,” is one that asserts equality and puts his quirky spin on it to show he’s made the principle his own. Amajiki may not like himself but he doesn’t let it get in the way of taking his place as Mirio’s peer.

Amajiki’s parents are also anxious people.

Mirio is his neighbor at the UA dorms. It’s perfect because Mirio can permeate their the shared wall and they can hang out after curfew. (Mirio keeps a pair of sweatpants in Amajiki’s room for those occasions lol.) Nejire is jealous and always talks about gate-crashing, but she never gets around to it. Even after Mirio loses his quirk, his sweatpants stay in Amajiki’s room because neither of them can quite bring themselves to give those times up.

I am a sucker for making characters’ quirks reflect something fundamental about their hearts, so here’s my take on manifest. Amajiki manifests what he eats, meaning he absorbs from his environment and re-creates it in his own style. It’s not imitation, since Amajiki with one cow hoof and one tentacle, kicking ass, resembles neither a cow or an octopus, but he takes the best from what’s around him and reinvents it. “Suneater”? Thanks to how his friendship with Mirio gave him a stable, nourishing environment, he’s absorbed his favorite of Mirio’s traits and manifests them in his own way, as his own strength, because as even name of his quirk implies—manifestation makes latent qualities visible.

Like Bakugo, Amajiki could have resented Mirio for his strengths; like the garbage trio, he could have let his failures convince him that he’s worthless; but Amajiki consistently makes the best of the cards he’s dealt, even though it involves plenty of doubt and self-flagellation that could lead him down a darker path…but don’t. He’s greater than his demons.

Unpopular opinion:

Amajiki’s shy, but…not that shy. He gets like stiffly shy.

Amajiki still has a ways to go before he’s ready to date Mirio. (Not sure what’s the popular opinion on this.)

I really wish class 1-a versus Mirio had been class 1-a versus Mirio and Amajiki. It would have been so cool to see what amazing teamwork they had and how their quirks were compatible.

Song I associate with him:

Titanium—absolutely. I like the versions by Sia, Boyce Avenue, and Kurt Schneider (I couldn’t choose). Circles by Veela reminds me of his spiraling anxiety. And, I can’t resist, so I’m adding Chasing the Sun by The Wanted on here.

Aaand my ship songs…Appreciated by Rixton, and All of Me by John Legend.

Favorite picture of him:

Ch141 – Ironclad certainty. I’m not even gonna apologize for the dimensions and the fact this is huge, just drink it in.

Ch132 – If this isn’t the cutest thing you’ve ever seen, I will never trust your judgment.

Ch152 – Unless it’s because this is the cutest.

Ch152 – When Mirio loses his quirk 💔

I’ve also answered these questions for Todoroki, Bakugo, Uraraka, Endeavor, Sir Nighteye, and Shinsou!

#amajiki #amajiki tamaki #miritama #bnha #shie hassaikai #bnha s4 spoilers #thanks for the ask!! this was a lot of fun even if it meant crying over the anime way too late at night #amamirio #nerd mumbling #text #ask meme #long post #asks #I had big feels okay?

14 notes · View notes

creion · 6 years

Text

gen z/millennial fma headcanons courtesy of me.

greed:

greed is friends with everyone in this au. everyone. he knows everyone.

no one knows greeds real name. he’s just greed. in this au thomas halbert doesnt have the url greed. greed does. hes not even that greedy and he most definitely blocks everyone who calls him out on it.

he’s mysterious in general. his youtube channel goes between him doing backflips off of things he shouldnt be doing back flips off of to a podcast about [some obscure political thing]? who is he?

greeds probably low key homeless like idk in an au where hes human i can imagine him showing up at one of his friends houses every night with like his one backpack of belongings like “hey im sleeping on ur couch and using ur shower” and no one really questions him because hes charming enough to get away with it yknow

except edward questions him. “ling isnt even here. wyd.” “please. if i dont shower i might die.” “fucking fine I GUESS”

greeds favorite place to go is ed and lings apartment because theyre nice and ling always feeds him and also eds funny and greed appreciates humor

this is just a general greed headcanon but god is he poly :3c i can and will fight about this.

ling:

GAY! TANA! MONGEAU! hes wild and a lot of people hate him even though hes really a giant sweetie. he’s best friends with greed and sometimes ling goes on greeds podcast so they can talk about their exercise regimen

hes dating edward of course. theres not more to this other than theyre dating and they love each other and Would kill for each other. also a lot of people probably dont think they have a deep relationship but im telling you. theyre star crossed lovers. its total romcom bullshit.

ling probably gets paid to go to parties. like thats his job and he makes good money doing it even though he has a masters in psychology. he just. goes to parties. pays off his student loans.

he does a lot of prank videos on youtube. think tgfbro but american and less edgy.

ling probably also models on occasion. like hes pretty enough that he just does it.

he shaves his head at some point or like maybe gets an undercut and no one can look at him for a month because its just weird. lings hair is like his identity.

he gets up to a lot of hijinks with greed. theyre probably a little gay together. edward doesnt care because its 2018 time 2 start normalizing polyamory ok.

ling spends actual money on new clothes for greed but the man always wears the same two outfits and although ling rarely gets angry this gets him a little riled

edward:

his youtube channel is just a mess kind of like greeds except with him its unintentional he just... does what he wants. theres videos of him showing off his physical prowess. like hes small but he WILL kick your fuckin ass. hes probably a black belt and is the physical embodiment of the navy seals rant.

sometimes he does vsauce style videos on youtube and everyone hates when he does it because hes memelord 69 but at the same time hes wicked smart

hes a physicist in this world and im serious it throws anyone who meets him for a loop.

ed gets asked a lot how roy is his dad if hes only 12 years older than him. eds answers are either “he found me and my brother as infants and has mothered us since” or “idk man”

ed accidentally starts a meme. he posts a bunch of pictures of ling either sleeping or passed out and idk the specifics of the meme but he starts a meme and it pains him. he consumes he does not create.

ed likes greed but he doesnt express it. “i dont like you” “[eyeroll] and???? im still eating ur leftovers”

ed actually does kick russel tringham in the head for a skit for one of lings vlogs. ed and russel are best friends even if russel genuinely did try to steal eds identity at some point and may or may not have put ed in debt for a few months

roy:

hes one of ed’s professors much to eds dismay since roy is, technically, his adoptive father.

he probably argues with ed a lot in the middle of lectures (”hey dumbass thats not how it works” “im literally teaching you what you’re majoring in.” “yeah and im telling you that you’re wrong.”)

he’s like 35 in this au and technically a millennial. ed’s 21.

roy has an instagram and its literally just pictures of hughes and elicia and nina and ed and al

roy and hughes are most definitely a foster family and am i pulling this from my own fic yes i am can you stop me no you cant

hughes:

HES FINE. HES ALIVE.

all of the gen z kids in this au think hes awful bc of all the dad jokes and slightly outdated humor. hes not awful. hes perfect. hes doing his best.

he loves all four of his children.

he and gracia are best friends even if their marriage didnt work out for unknown reasons. they along with roy are GOOD PARENTS to elicia. you can pry this from my cold dead hands. canon can suck my chode.

lust:

shes not like greed she doesnt try to be mysterious. shes probably a beauty guru (SolarisCosmetics) and does a lot of tutorials like “Low Commitment Goth Makeup Tutorial”

shes unintentionally mysterious because for her first like 50 videos or so theres no commentary its just subtitles

her first video with commentary is like “i... apologize. i was not intending to be so... mysterious.” and shes actually very sweet and nice and you can fight me on this ok

greed is her adoptive brother and greed makes her bleep out his name and blur her mouth whenever she calls him by his name bc he likes to lurk in the background of her videos because hes an asshole

winry:

shes a mechanic in this au and i mean shes a mechanic in canon but she prob specializes in like. idk. cars. this is a headcanon list im not looking up specifics of mechanics point is she can rebuild an engine in an afternoon and everyone in this au is in love with her

BIG LESBIAN

she probably tries getting ed to go on double dates (him and ling with her and lan fan) but every single time he shoots her down and its to the point shes almost convinced that hes not even dating ling in the first place

greed is probably her biggest client. no one knows how he does it but his car is constantly breaking and winry is the only mechanic in his general vicinity who knows how to do her job worth a shit and also her repair shop has cool music and he probably finds excuses just to chill for the music

“[greed] please. if your fat ass is going to be taking up counter space AT LEAST help clean up” “excuse you my ass is FIRM AND PERKY.”

its probably a joke among ed’s following that winry DOES NOT put up with his shit and when winry gets asked out it shes just like “hes an asshole why the fuck do you think im gonna let him walk around all half cocked like that”

riza:

i like to think shes in the military in this au too. not like military military but maybe air force idk. imagine pilot riza. wow.

shes not on active duty or w/e but you KNOW shes in a foreign country going to college paid for by the government.

everyone in this au is at least bi and riza is no exception. she is dating olivier armstrong. they are in love u can pry this from my cold dead hands you fucking gremlins

edward is probably platonically in love with her. like when he gets to see her (which isnt often) he has to occasionally stop, put a hand on her shoulder, do the ‘boi’ hand (idk how else to describe it) and say, “i love you dont ever change” “thank you, edward.” “[hug]”

envy:

a troll. like you know those troll blogs that are pretending to be otherkin or some really obscure gender w neopronouns (u do u but we all kno theres trolls). envy has one of those blogs.

envy is actually nonbinary irl but theyre very critical of “special snowflakes” (again u do u these headcanons dont necessarily reflect my opinions and as long as u aint hurting no one i support u) and they probably cyberbully ppl

envy is garbage in this fic

“god i hate you” “actually eat my ass, greed”

see greed is the opposite of ed w riza. he looks at envy and occasionally has to say “i fucking hate you”

theyre secrety buds but like... they annoy the shit out of each other. u kno they do.

ENVY STARTS A LOT OF DISCOURSE. THEY PROBABLY START A LOT OF HOMESTUCK DISCOURSE. GOD. here i am in 2018 writing about envy starting fucking homestuck discourse. its probably like davekat discourse too tbh

i know im forgetting alphonse, may/mei (i spell it mei), and lan fan but its like 4:19 am

please send me asks if u have any feedback. or reply to this post. its up to u. i trust u to make the right decision. (there is no reight decision and honestly i need to go to bed)

#fullmetal alchemist #fullmetal alchemist brotherhood #fma #fmab #edling #edward elric #ling yao #greed the avaricious #lust the lascivious #roy mustang #maes hughes #riza hawkeye #envy the jealous #winry rockbell

31 notes · View notes

procrastidating · 7 years

Text

im obsessed w myself

1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk?

I keep my cereal dry and have a glass of milk w it maybe? I eat cereal with my hands like a 2 y/o so

2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day?

Hell yeah sign me the fuck UP.

3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books?

Usually papers or sticky notes and paper clips but I don't clip the page bc thats cruel and unusual

4: how do you take your coffee/tea?

I take tea black and like maybe cream if I'm feeling it. Sugar always ruins it for me

5: are you self-conscious of your smile?

Not really? Sometimes if I'm getting teeth brushing compulsions but those are less and I laugh too much to hide my smile anyway

6: do you keep plants?

Absolutely I have a spider plant and a succulent

7: do you name your plants?

Laura and Levi ride or die motherfuckers

8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings?

Sometimes writing songs/poems, and I used to make a clay sculptures when that was my shit but I don't like to talk about those or show them to people.

9: do you like singing/humming to yourself?

Hell yeah or lip syncing aggressively and dancing so I don't bug people on my hall

10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach?

My stomach, occasionally back or side. Sometimes standing up.

11: what's an inner joke you have with your friends?

That I'm a triplet with two of my friends who are actually twins! Many more but too complicated to explain

12: what's your favorite planet?

Used to be Neptune but I had to research Uranus once and it fucking sucks that it's always a punchline because it's hella cool and rotates on it's side like it's lying down and I RELATE

13: what's something that made you smile today?

the ducks on my morning walk :)

14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like?

Probably cozy but clean and they'd make it hipster and fashionable and I just want a nice bed and shower

15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is!

URANUS ROTATES ON ITS SIDE AND DESERVES RESPECT U FUCKS

16: what's your favorite pasta dish?

penne pasta with anything and everything

17: what color do you really want to dye your hair?

Terrifying. No. As a joke? Black.

18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up.

I walked off the edge of a skate half pipe in like 8th grade and I can't escape the ridicule.

19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it?

Since like 2006 I've recorded everything. I write what happens and songs and poems and doodles of events that happened instead of describing them sometimes.

20: what's your favorite eye color?

Why the fuck would I have a favorite eye color. Color is the least interesting thing about someone's eyes

21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that's been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces.

My blue bag is just big enough to fit a journal, sunglasses, pain meds, and water which is my survival kit and it constantly saves my life.

22: are you a morning person?

I'm an extreme morning person to an embarrassing degree

23: what's your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations?

I LOVE TO DO NOTHING. eat and walk around and then put three dogs on my lap and never move again

24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA NO. Last time I had told one person almost every secret about me but they were on a plane to see their priest before I even finished so like fuck that not worth it byeee :))))

25: what's the weirdest place you've ever broken into?

An old meeting hall and hung out in it in the middle of the night I guess? Lots of trespassing mostly

26: what are the shoes you've had for forever and wear with every single outfit?

Crocs. Also f this question?

27: what's your favorite bubblegum flavor?

Never had gum so bite me

28: sunrise or sunset?

Sunrise.

29: what's something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing?

INVOLUNTARY GIGGLES. Best people

30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared?

yes.

31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks.

Love my socks like good pals and I'd never sleep with out em!

32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends.

Those are stories just for us.

33: what's your fave pastry?

I'm NE trash and it's donuts

34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it?

My sock monkey jocko, MVP of my goddamn life.

35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often?

I have nice pens and nice stationary and I use it frequently but I don't have a variety of them. Just what I like.

36: which band's sound would fit your mood right now?

Elvis. Dance and ballads always

37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean?

Clean but the chaos that sometimes happens let's me make note of my mental state with external indicators

38: tell us about your pet peeves!

Just don't be mean to people you think are less smart than you. That's. Bullshit. Everyone knows something you don't.

39: what color do you wear the most?

Dark blue

40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what's it's story? does it have any meaning to you?

My watch. I like to know the fucking time.

41: what's the last book you remember really, really loving?

Glass castle lived to the hype

42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it!

I was trying to look up the name of my favorite shop in a’dam it was literal perfection and they had the best nachos and deff didnt sell coffee.

43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with?

I know its happened more recently than this but I was just reminded of when I watched shooting stars last august on the last night of camp and that was a beautiful night. human connection is the best dude.

44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything?

Summer camp night :) because the last time before that was like age 10 so no fucking wonder im going back

45: do you trust your instincts a lot?

hell yeah I’m so fucking smart. But if I have migraine brain my good instincts leave me

46: tell us the worst pun you can think of.

meat puns are a rare medium well done!

47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe?

none? food thats like also literal poison maybe? if you dont like a food dont eat it man I’m chill.

48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today?

~thunder~ has carried over for sure but I was a pretty fearless kid and now a very fearful 20 something

49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought?

COMPILATION CDS ARE MY SHIT! Like obscure dance music from the 00s and 90s, I recently bought 3 of those.

50: what's an odd thing you collect?

white rocks

51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them?

this is so fucking obscure. I think of my dad and pedal your blues away.

52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far?

the make a playlist one is making me laugh right now

53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them?

I’ve seen em all and theyre all good! I can see why they all have cult followings although im not cult-y about any of them sry

54: who's the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face?

ouch. no comment.

55: what's the most dramatic thing you've ever done to prove a point?

I declared myself queen of the school to demonstrate how dumb I thought class elections were.

56: what are some things you find endearing in people?

people that say your name/call you by a nickname! people that laugh at my jokes! people that like me! Its not very hard for me to become obsessed w you

57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics?

no time for that and also im not in 10th grade anymore

58: who's the wine mom and who's the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why?

I’m starting to get bored of these Qs

59: what's your favorite myth?

Abi Yo Yo. Is that a myth? do i give a fuck?

60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves?

I like shel silverstein and everything else can go FUCK ITSSELF. also john donne and rumi etc etc leave me alone

61: what's the stupidest gift you've ever given? the stupidest one you've ever received?

All my gift are kinda dumb and once lya gave me a rock and it was the tits

62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind?

im allergic to that SHIT

63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be?

im not meticulous about anything. main life flaw

64: what color is the sky where you are right now?

hella grey. i love it.

65: is there anyone you haven't seen in a long time who you'd love to hang out with?

Sean :( hopefully this summer!

66: what would your ideal flower crown look like?

what the FUCK. but also white daises bc theyre my fave flower okay leave me alone.

67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel?

I go on walk and splash in puddles and stay outside as long as I can and then read and sleep!

68: what's winter like where you live?

endless and fantastic when the skiing is good

69: what are your favorite board games?

trouble

70: have you ever used a ouija board?

yeah but like also prob inaccurately

71: what's your favorite kind of tea?

english breakfast cuz im classy

72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you'll forget it?

yup

73: what are some of your worst habits?

migraines, talking myself out of things

74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns.

they are wild and loud but secretly so intelligent and thoughtful. They finally figured out thier haircut and I miss them everyday I’m without them because they are my home and my safety and sometimes I feel useless without them to anchor me.

75: tell us about your pets!

Ceilidh - sweet baby angel with too much strength and visits the neighbors and would kill anyone who tried to hurt me

Uma - cuddley as fuck but is not attached to anyone or anything and might run away and join the circus except her anxiety is off the fucking charts and she needs to protected

Wykeham - literal idiot with bad hearing and eyesight and shouldnt even be alive but he just wants to drink water and sleep all day preferably on your chest and he is so dumb though he also needs to be protected at all costs cause idk how he made it this far.

76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren't?

so much

77: pink or yellow lemonade?

IM ALLERGIC TO THAT SHIT

78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub?

I prefer indifference and non affiliation

79: what's one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you?

light up a golf course at night to dance with me after a FIRST DATE. next level

80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why?

after The Wallpaper i fought and painted them Canary Yellow which is bright as fuck and helps separate myself from the subdued Hell House outside the door

81: describe one of your friend's eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of.

if the water in your sink was suddenly beautiful

82: are/were you good in school?

does it even matter if i am or was

83: what's some of your favorite album art?

idk but i really like join us by TMBG

84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones?

unsure

85: do you read comics? what are your faves?

no sorry

86: do you like concept albums? which ones?

87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives?

harold and maude, TLM 2

88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy?

COBRA

89: are you close to your parents?

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

90: talk about your one of you favorite cities.

Amsterdam is perfect and so is the netherlands and I love it there and I miss it.

91: where do you plan on traveling this year?

This year is just within US, MN, Chi, and Portland. Maybe sweden this winter.

92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch?

im on this earth for cheese

93: what's the hairstyle you wear the most?

uh none? short hair? shit whats a hairstyle?

94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday?

Madeline!

95: what are your plans for this weekend?

Im SMing a show~

96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot?

who has the time

97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house?

INFJ, Aries, and i dont remember... it was gryffindor or hufflepuff

98: when's the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it?

this morning. its my shit

99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them.

unchained melody elvis version

honest truth typhoon

common sentiments typhoon

say you love me

comeback kid

so many more but i just wanna finish this

100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why?

the future for SURE 5 years ago was shit thats why. even if the future is worse it still dont want to relive dating andy

#narcessism #larkinspeaks #byeee

0 notes