2 Timothy 3:15 (NLT) -
You have been taught the Holy Scriptures from childhood, and they have given you the wisdom to receive the salvation that comes by trusting in Christ Jesus.
Smack is a mini podcast in which I try to tackle topics with common sense and logical reasoning, without bad intentions or ulterior motives. If a take happens to align with any political, religious or other kind of ideology, that is purely coincidental. It will inevitably upset someone, but please hear me out and remain civil.
The walls of her fortress are high and strong. Rarely has anyone managed or even allowed at that to bring down her guards. But once she begins to trust you and once she gets comfortable around you, you'll be amazed at the insane and wild energy she brings to the room. It would leave you confounded as to how someone seemingly so naïve, innocent and saintly could have another side to her - dark, wild & crazy. And trust me, it gets addictive when her demons begin to dance with yours...
Seriously, re-watch is just noticing how much time Fraser spends staring uncomfortably in love, focused, at Ray, multiple editions. EXAMPLE : This is first episode right here! Fraser stare.
Or you know his doing sly smiles and reactions every five seconds too.
And I love it. Because it's hard to gif! And because it's Fraser.
He says nothing. What he doesn't say screams.
Fraser is a closed book type character. For all he shares stories with others about his values, or anecdotes or stories of his life, for all his acts and oddities, his kindness and helping, or his passive aggressive snits; he uses that and presentation and it's to put up walls to block us the audience and the other characters from seeing him fully with these things. He doesn't tell the whole truth. He manipulates so it's entirely on his terms and comfort level just what level of Fraser you get. He's scared to show people he has wants or needs or feelings for himself. Maybe I think a part of him doesn't know the how or what on those things too. When he tells others things, his personal stories, notice how often he leaves out the and this is how I felt or feel. He doesn't want that to be the focus for others. For others to see him unless he shows it.
So it's very important I think you have to look for not just what he says, but what he does and shows consistently to us or someone. And about that someone. That's the key to understanding how Fraser feels and expresses his wants.
Great thing about the show is when it understands Fraser may consciously not want to show himself but through his voyeurism and nature and we the audience, sorry Fraser you do.
Anyways...
So with Ray, he drags Ray into all kinds of things, without really honestly asking or saying the why. Because the honest answer half the time boils down to just I want you along and with and that's one you can't say without saying I want or need you. Fraser's very bad that.
They do the odd couple routine of you Canadian, me American. They, and Fraser is way more master, manipulate and operate in understanding one another is a case of really playing with or verbalizing out the differences, to get us on to continue along in sync while avoiding or letting slip well, duh, we are together because emotionally we feel easily connected, even with differences.
So Fraser shows Ray, or thinks he does best he can, by dragging and tagging along. Sticking close by choice.
He shows us the audience too.
He shows all the time by considering or studying Ray how much he's paying attention to, wanting to get to know. He shows by leaning in or reacting to, verbal or physically, or even to other's reactions of, how much Ray has an affect on him.
And to me one of the biggest ways Fraser is obvious in his feeling's with Ray, is Ray is just about the only one besides Dief and his ghost Dad, that he'll seek out or let him in enough to see him back.
Goes back to The Pilot. Of its' not like Fraser doesn't connect or have emotional scenes with others. But Ray is the one who gets the honesty back outta him. Who he can show he's emotionally down to and try an feel understood by. Like there, yeah I'm here in this diner because I'm lonely and my dads gone, this is my only way to connect or do for him now...
Fraser shows he wants Ray to see his feelings in a way he opens about the why of himself to no one else.
And it's a recurrent throughout the series, even as they have some blow-outs and screw-ups on it. He shows Ray because Fraser trusts enough to be sad around or silly, or snippy, or teasing. But also just unsure. There's a comfort level in their interactions. He wants Ray to know him as a person and relate emotionally and even when he himself struggles how to handle that within, well if Ray sees it, that's okay.
Nicky stares at the ceiling, at the shadows that shift with every breath of wind through the open bedroom window. Their bedsheet is tangled around his thighs, and another is wrinkled at his back. For all that he’s still now, he’s been restless through the night, his brain sorting through inconsequential memories loudly enough to keep him awake. Joe is a pleasant, warm weight beside him, his face smashed into the pillow, his arm thrown across Nicky’s chest. Nicky stares at the ceiling and sighs softly, closing his eyes and wishing for sleep to come.
Joe stirs and Nicky turns his head to find him blinking back, a concerned frown on his face.
“It’s okay,” Nicky murmurs. “Go back to sleep.”
Joe grumbles softly and shifts a little closer. “You go to sleep,” he says.
Nicky feels his lips twitch. “I must stay awake to protect you from the dark creatures beneath the bed,” he whispers.
“Rubbish,” says Joe. “Smash ‘em. Smash ‘em with my hands.” He spreads his fingers wide against Nicky’s skin, and Nicky shivers. “Are y’cold?” Joe asks raising his head, perhaps to look for the blankets.
“Joe,” Nicky offers. “I’m fine. You’re tired.”
Joe wrinkles his nose to show his opinion of that. “You too.” He slides a hand down Nicky’s body, thumb catching in Nicky’s belly button as he brushes a kiss to Nicky’s temple.
The lick of warmth inside Nicky’s body is something he could stoke if he wanted. But instead he lifts his head to chase the kiss, catching a press of lips that makes Joe hum, pleased, and then he covers Joe’s hand with his own. “Sleep,” he insists, and Joe settles beside him, presses his nose to the curve of Nicky’s upper arm. Nicky watches him as he blinks once, twice, before his eyes stay closed. “Ya hayati,” he whispers like a blessing, chasing the words into the curls atop Joe’s head.
I am like a pencil. people sharpen me by building up my trust building up my confidence, just to use me until I'm dull and can't be sharpened anymore, just to then throw me away like a piece of trash.