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euijoosorangeslice · 6 months

Note

Helloooo! May I request &team members reaction when their crush is near them? :D

In a quite fluffy mood rn, so here goes.

&t Around Their Crushes

warnings: heavy fluff, kissing, reader has no specified gender, feet ig? Hard to explain lmao. Not proofread.

he’s probably going to try to put on a strong man persona if he thinks your into that. Skinship heavy, loves to touch your hand or your thigh. Around Valentine’s Day, you basically get a rent-a-boyfriend for the day. Impossible to not know he likes you, cause he will definitely tell you. Will be really hurt if you don’t like him back, he’s really particular about who he shows this much love towards.

Fuma

Definitely gets easily embarrassed, will get teased hard by his friends. “Look Fuma, there’s your new fiancée!” He’d hope you didn’t hear, but if you laugh he’ll want to disappear. Usually strong but will fold at your smile or compliments. If you wear his clothes it automatically means he thinks you’re the one. If you say his hair looks good today or you like his shirt he’s immediately blushing.

Nicholas

Going to try and do everything to get into your good graces. Been complaining about you favorite jacket being torn? Next day you’ll have a new one. Your feet hurt from the shoes you’re wearing? You’ll be getting new shoes and a foot massage. Once you finally catch on, he’d rush to ask you out. Probably end up spending a lot of time telling him that you can’t just buy your love with money. He’d eventually get it, and instead of buying you expensive clothes he’s taking you on expensive dates or buying your favorite things.

Euijoo

You would have to pry it out of him. You’d probably catch him staring super hard and he’d immediately apologize. He purposefully sits next to you in a way that you won’t even notice his staring when you’re talking to your friends. Zones out admiring your beautiful face and all its features. His mind is only thinking about kissing you and how badly he wants to. If you two are ever alone, out of pure embarrassment he’d probably spill everything and tell you how he feels. Cutting him off with a loving kiss would be his dream response.

Is always masking his crush. He knows that if his friends knew they’d tell you, and he doesn’t want to live knowing that you know he’s obsessed with you. If you’re shorter than him, he’ll love when you stand next to him because he can look down into your eyes. He just loves the way you look when you smile at him from below. Can only think about how much he wishes you two were together.

Yuma

Straightforward tsundere vibes. Like will call you his but if you say the same thing he’ll act like he doesn’t like you. “Oh, y/n? Like with the pretty eyes and really kissable lips? No way!” All his friends know you have a thing for him and he has a thing for you. But you two would take ages to make it official. If someone calls him your boyfriend, he’ll hard deny it but when he gets home, he’s so happy people can see you two as a couple.

Harua

Shows his love by presence. Per example, if you have a sports meet he’ll be there. You don’t even have to ask. Just don’t question how he knows when your every practice is and game. Will drive you home if you’re too tired just to watch you sleep. A bit of a creep but like in the I love you way yk? Kisses your forehead when he thinks your asleep, even though you’re still awake.

Taki

Bakes you a lot of random shit. In contrast to Nicholas, he’s a homemade gift giver. Need a new tote bag? No need to buy one, he’s making I right now in your favorite color. Want a new sweater or a pair of cozy socks? As soon is gets cold outside he’ll make you smores cookies, hot chocolate, and anything you ask for.

Maki

Will PDA you to death. Probably hints at you two getting together for the longest time. “You know, anyone would be lucky to date you.” He’d tell you how he wishes he had a lover with hair or eyes like yours. He will invite you over a lot, but he’s awkward so you’ll sit there on his lap doing nothing for hours. But that’s how he likes to spend time with you.

#&team imagines #&team #&team x reader #&team nicholas #&team taki #&team harua #&team fuma #&team ej #&team maki #&team jo #&team yuma #&team k #&team fluff

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rinniemybeloved · 9 months

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Can you do Bokuto/Iwaizumi as a father like Kenma?

[✦] - 𝐊𝐎𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐎 𝐁𝐎𝐊𝐔𝐓𝐎 𝐀𝐒 𝐀 𝐃𝐀𝐃

notes : sorry for being inactive for almost like 2 months :)

warnings : pregnancy idk if that's a warning tho

pairings : dad!bokuto x mom!reader,

dude has baby fever all the time I swear

"y/n it would be so cute!!" "y/n it wouldn't be that hard!!"

he's nagging you 24/7

so you just had to give in 🤷‍♀️

during the pregnancy he would be so worried

you could literally like cough or something and he'd call a doctor to make sure everything's okay

VERY overprotective

once, a small child came up to you and asked you if there's a baby in your belly and he was glaring at the kid the whole time 😭

but he honestly really likes when little kids come up to you two, he just wants to make sure they don't hurt the baby or smth

he talks to your belly so much

he's so convinced that the baby is understanding and responding too

it's honestly adorable to see him calm for once in his life

bokuto's determined that it's a boy, like literally DETERMINED

I mean, having a girl wouldn't hurt, but like it's just like his sixth sense telling him he's gonna have a boy

he gets so impatient to find out the gender too!!

he's gonna pay any amount of money to find out as fast as possible

… and boom boom his assumption sadly turns out to be true

this is loosely related to this piece I wrote a few months ago, girls or boys?

when the baby's born, he almost drops his son, but thank God he's okay

he probably wanted to name him something like buster 💀

"this is our son, not a dog, kotaro!"

"but people love and play with dogs, and we'll love and play with him, so there isn't a difference!"

yes, that was indeed a real conversation between you two.

but you ended up naming him Ichiro, leaving kotaro whining about why he couldn't name him buster.

but the absolute first thing he's gonna do is take a countless amount of pictures and send them to the whole msby group chat as well as the Japan national team group chat

can't blame him, he's always given off Instagram dad vibes

and when I say Instagram dad, I mean, like, Instagram dad.

he will post the smallest things lil Ichiro does, and bokuto's a pro athlete, so it's gonna get some attention 🤷‍♀️

his son is gonna do something as simple as point at the tv and giggle when his favorite character comes on the screen, and he's gonna post that.

his friends are supportive of it too, especially my baby Shoyo <3 <3 (I'm trying so hard not to make this about him but my Shoyo phase is coming back rn)

shoyo_msby21 it's like I saw him as a baby just yesterday !!

6h 319 likes Reply

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matching outfits.

kotaro has never been the best with fashion, but with the help of you and his teammates, he has gotten better at dressing his son up

like imagine there's just a whole section in the closet just for matching father-son outfits.

He's gonna spend thousands on clothes for the family. sometimes all of you go out wearing the same colour outfit or something

matching jerseys too, little Ichiro always goes to his father's games wearing an identical, but smaller jersey <3

his son is gonna be a total daredevil, sometimes even kotaro surprisingly gets worried.

the kid is gonna have little star printed bandaids all over his little hands and legs, but I guess people learn from their mistakes, don't they?

he's gonna love being the center of attention, clinging to his dad whenever he's getting interviewed. He just wants the world to know that a star player like his dad has a star son like him!

overall, Bokuto gets an A for being an adept father.

Requests are open!

#haikyuu!!#haikyuu fluff #haikyuu x reader #dad!bokuto #bokuto x reader #bokuto fluff #bokuto koutarou #bokuto koutaro x reader #bokuto koutaro fluff

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simping-overload · 9 months

Note

in need of some genshin males x transmasc reader fluff hcs rn :’(

characters: cyno, al haitham, diluc and xiao

(go wild w this request please)

-rat anon

If anyone is able to and wants to, please consider donating to my kofi!

characters: cyno, al haitham, diluc, xiao

tags: transmasc! reader, supportive boys, fluff, clothes shopping, accidental sugar daddies

ヾthis is a multi fandom blog that is designed for mlm/nbmlm identifying readers! so if you're female or fem alligened, do not follow or interact with my mlm related post!! you will be blocked if you do not heed this warning ゛

ᴄʏɴᴏ

as the general mahamatra, he has mora to spend, far to much time spend on himself.

will totally let you buy(in reasonable quantities) things that will make you feel better and stuff.

this moslty pertains to clothing, he'll shop with you, giving his insight on which clothing would suit you more.

and if the clothes he picks out make you feel you, it's a win-win for both parties.

will not allow anyone to disrespect you, and after he had a stern "talking too" with the person, they won't be bothering you again.

food and cuddles afterwords to make your feel better.

ᴀʟ ʜᴀɪᴛʜᴀᴍ

He also has way too much money to spend. He usually only gets food, his physics books, and other nerdy books he has.

If you like reading, he will totally buy you your books, somehow always finding some of them before they're even released.

Let's borrow his clothes, if they fit. If not, nothing more than a lil' clothes shopping you can't do.

He would not so accidentally try to get you to buy clothing in his style. He'd be thrilled if you do like his choices but won't fight you when you have your personal preferences.

Since most people in sumeru know you're with al haitham, they won't even try to make any snide remarks. and those who do never make it out the same.

ᴅɪʟᴜᴄ

He's literally the owner of one of the largest winery's ever, so he has so much money

Bro would literally buy you racks of clothing and have them each tailored to you.

If you're uncomfortable with having someone else get your measurements, he'll totally do it for you.

Likes when your clothing has a similar style to his, esspically when it comes to colors. He thinks you look absolutely amazing in red.

No one would try messing with you. They know it won't end well.

xɪᴀᴏ

Unlike the others, my man is broke.

He usually gets his clothing from Verr, who somehow managed to get his measurements.

If you happen to have some money, he wouldn't mind coming out and shopping with you.

He isn't the most fond of crowds or people in general. Your best bet is to go when the market isn't super populated.

They don't even try. People just avoid him and you due to his intimidating vibe.

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izurusstuff · 4 months

Text

Coal Miner's Daughter

(click here for last chapter)

｡⋆｡˚｡⋆.⛓ 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐓𝐰𝐨 𝐩𝐭. 𝟏: 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐌𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐬 💣⛓.⋆｡⋆˚

message from izurusstuff: okay hi i promise snow comes in on the next part [insert pleading eyes here], i just didn't want to overwhelm people with so so much, so i divided it into two sections but you'll thank me for that,, he's going to be serving cunt and being the literal best teenage murderous villain <33

im literally writing pt 2 rn for y'all bc ilysm, bear with me

[𝐢𝐳𝐮𝐫𝐮𝐬𝐬𝐭𝐮𝐟𝐟'𝐬 𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐜𝐭 𝟏𝟐 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐲𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭]

summary: Y/n and Ridge are navigating their new life after y/n's betrayal. It's the first day, but things are already so different.

*:･ﾟ✧* "...𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞'𝐬 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐧𝐨 𝐰𝐚𝐲 𝐨𝐟 𝐰𝐢𝐧𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐢𝐟 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐞𝐲𝐞𝐬, 𝐲𝐨𝐮'𝐥𝐥 𝐚𝐥𝐰𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐛𝐞 𝐚 𝐝𝐮𝐦𝐛 𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐝𝐞..." ･ﾟ✧*:

⇄ ◃◃ ⅠⅠ ▹▹ ↻

May 31st, The Hob, District 12.

Y/n dropped the expensive ivory guitar Savani had gotten her the day prior. The wood broke into splinters everywhere… about two thousand dollars worth of precious wood was currently laying in pieces on the floor of The Hob. Bystanders looked on in shock at what they saw go down… but Mayor Yearwood was furious. Not at his daughter who just backstabbed her best friend, but at y/n.

The heartbroken girl was running through the meadows back to her house. Tears flew from her face and her heart weighed more than the world. Y/n ran past the lake that the three were at just the night prior… when everything was okay. When her heart didn't get grinded up into powder by two of her favorite people. When she knew she was loved. So much changed in less than a day. It was all so fast, it felt like a carousel ride she couldn’t get off of… and it was fucking horrifying.

When y/n stepped foot into her house, she ran into her room and destroyed all the artwork of the trio. She stupidly flushed all the jewelry down the toilet… she was so upset that it didn't cross her mind that she could sell it. She wanted to get rid of every single memory of Leif and Savani. Including living in District 12 with them.

Ridge ran into the house a few minutes later. It was quite obvious y/n had outran her poor dad; he was unbelievably out of breath when he finally got there.

“Kid…”

Y/n looked at her dad. She tried to speak. Nothing came out of her mouth other than loud wails… Ridge somewhat understood her heartbreak; it’s exactly what he went through when y/n’s mom died. He held his poor daughter in his soot-covered hands, which got all over her celebration dress. He wasn’t exactly the best at comfort, but y/n knew he was there for her and truly loved her.

“C…can I come work in the mines with you, Daddy?” Y/n said through her sobs. Ridge thought it was an unusual request, but he knew letting y/n stay in the house would only make her feel worse, so he nodded.

“You can come with me tomorrow. Beware though, you’ll be the only lady there. The boys might be shocked.” Ridge joked. He wasn’t exactly lying– she’d be the only female there, but he wouldn’t tolerate any of his fellow miners being rude to his precious daughter.

“You don’t have to be alone, sweetheart. We’ll get through this together. Just like we always done. Ain’t gonna let no one hurt you…” He said, squeezing y/n tighter. Ridge may have not been able to prevent y/n’s heart from getting broken this time, but he wasn’t going to let it happen again. He didn’t give a damn if he had to buy a shotgun with all the money he had. No one would treat y/n like this… because it broke his heart too. If it wasn’t for him trying to stay strong for her, Ridge would also be sobbing. He felt like the worst dad ever for not being able to protect his daughter from people so cruel… people he trusted.

“...I love you, Pa.” Y/n didn’t say that phrase often, but she really should. She truly loved her dad. Ridge always bent over backwards to make sure she was clothed and fed. He’d often spend days straight in the mines around her birthday and holidays just so she could have presents. And in that moment, y/n was beyond grateful for him.

Ridge was trying his hardest not to break down crying in that moment. But it didn’t work… tears fell from his eyes just as fast as y/n’s did. Neither of them said anything, but they basked in each other’s heartbreak. The two ended up falling asleep like that…

June 1st, Vespertine Residence, District 12.

Ridge and y/n had fallen asleep on the croaky, old, wooden floor of y/n’s room while they embraced. Y/n’s head was on Ridge’s shoulder, and his head was on top of hers. Honestly, it wasn’t exactly the most comfortable of positions, but the idea of it was wholesome.

The two didn’t wake up until the cliche cawing of a rooster was heard in the distance while they felt the pastel orange sun shine down on them through y/n’s open window… and both of them groggily woke up. For a split moment, they’d forgotten why they were asleep like that to begin with. But reality set in not long after.

“Still plannin’ on going to the mines today, kid?” Ridge asked, standing up and brushing himself off. Y/n nodded. It wasn’t the ideal job by any means, but she knew the Yearwoods and Leif would try to look for her. And she did NOT want to deal with it.

“Alrighty then.” Ridge walked off to his room, which was only on the other side of the kitchen, opposite of y/n’s. After a second, he tossed y/n a… very… very… dirty uniform.

“Sorry, kid. Can’t have you ruinin’ your dresses.” He responded after he saw the disgusted look on her face… great. She had to wear her dad’s old uniform that’s been around for God knows how long. Why didn’t she see that coming? But there wasn’t any backing out now. Y/n shooed Ridge and began putting on the uniform…

June 1st, Yearwood Mansion, District 12.

Unlike y/n, Savani slept peacefully. She finished up her dad’s birthday party with Leif by her side… and not once did they think of y/n. Savani got to get the sleep, food, and energy y/n deserved. Why did she get to crush y/n and act like nothing happened?! It was infuriating, but only for y/n. Everyone else was ecstatic for Savani and Leif… like y/n never existed or even mattered to anyone.

The young heiress woke up that morning in her silk pajamas and her luxury bed. She didn’t fall asleep from being so exhausted because she cried her heart out to her dad. It was everything y/n deserved.

It was almost as if… Savani wanted to erase y/n from the start. She probably was an embarrassment to her and Leif. So they betrayed her, that way they wouldn’t be labeled as classists for cutting off their peasant “friend.” That was probably why everyone supported Leif and Vani’s relationship… because everyone knew y/n lived in a three room house with her dad on the very outskirts of the district. Everyone knew they could only afford “soup” that contained water and one vegetable… they knew the soup only had spices in it on y/n’s birthday.

The Vespertines were nothing but savage, poor, vain peasant folk. People only tolerated them because y/n was “best friends” with Mayor Yearwood’s daughter. Now they didn’t have to hide their disgust anymore.

“Good morning, Daddy!” Savani said in a cheery voice as she walked into her kitchen that was nearly twice the size of y/n’s entire house. “‘Mornin’, darlin’.” Tripp said. His voice nearly sounded like a growl. Vani didn’t care, though. She’d always gotten everything she wanted… and now, Leif was hers too.

“People’re talkin’ about that stunt you pulled yesterday on y/n, Savani.”

“So?”

“Savani. Now we all know damn well, I never cared much for y/n… but people don’t need to know that. You’re makin’ it seem we’re out to get her right before The Reaping. What will they think if y/n gets drawn to go in?”

Shit. Tripp was right. The Reaping for The Hunger Games was only a little over a month away. If y/n were to get picked…

“So be it. She’s everything the Capitol thinks of us… dirty, poor, hungry, angry, savage. Ain’t much of a loss if she gets picked.” Those words really sunk in for Tripp… maybe if he rigged the drawing, his precious daughter could live her happy ever after with Leif…

“I ‘spose you’re right. Be unfortunate if she got picked…”

June 1st, Everdeen Coal Mine, District 12.

Y/n arrived with her hair in pigtails. Although she was wearing a decade old mining uniform, she made it her own. She flaunted it with confidence… she knew Savani could never do such a thing. Vani could probably put on the uniform, but she’d only do it for publicity. Y/n got to actually work; which wouldn’t be so wonderful if she wasn’t so excited to use a pickaxe to take her anger out on poor rocks.

She walked closely behind her dad, who was strutting in the mines. Everyone there seemed to know her dad’s name, which kinda made her feel inferior… inferior. To her own dad. At his job. Her confidence really took a deep dive after yesterday, huh?

“Hey Ridge! That your daughter?” An old man shouted, pointing to y/n.

“Sure is, Billy!”

“Really grown up on us!” The man said. Y/n was… terrified. She thought she’d be ridiculed the second she picked up her pickaxe. “She’ll be a hard worker if she’s anything like her daddy!” Y/n let out a sigh of relief. Thank the Lord… people here in the mines didn’t judge. It was refreshing. But it’s expected that men who wore working their ass off just so their family could buy a single head of cabbage would be understanding.

Time to get to work.

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yokakaiju · 3 months

Text

i got bored and made a tierlist based off who smokes the most weed

justifications under cut

so like i made this cause its funny first and foremost, but i did put like somewhat actual thought into this. not much, but synapses were firing in my brain putting this together

also im not tagging everyone, ill just like pick 2 or whatevs

okay so first up is chidaruma. dude prolly invented weed ngl. you know he's smoked everyway imaginable: blunt, pipe, bong, can, apple, vape, synthesized, edible, hotbox, blower; you name it, he's done it. he's kinda over it, but he's still up there just cause like... idk he is and won't take criticism

haru is a beautiful weed smoking gf thats literally it

13's entire schedule is probably wake up, smoke, jerk off, sleep, eat, smoke, jerk off, eat, smoke, repeat. he also would probably kin jesse pinkman

ton is a bitch and smokes all the cross-eye commanders weed. like they'll save up for MONTHS to get like 5oz (one for each of them :3) and he'll be like, "woah! a bag of weed!" and smoke it ALLLLLL in like an hour. he's like a truffle pig for weed, they can try to hide it but his ass always finds it and smokes it all. he would prolly also call it za or skunk or some shit like that

ebisu isn't quite in the high 24/7 catagory, but she could be. dawg loves weed, like she is also 100% a fucking master at rolling blunts she rivals chidaruma at it. rolling blunts is like a sport for her tbh

aikawa's gotta cope dawg. like if he aint at school or currently being possed by demons his ass is smokin that shit bruh he needs a minute to chill. also he's got crazy money (kai's money but shhh) so he might as well spend it on his pookie <3 (risu)

noi may be controversial being up so high, but hear me out. weed smoking gf? i think yes B) mogs at you

asuka also has to cope, but its cause shes a blackpilled femcel (her own words i stg)

chota would smoke, but he hates the smell and doesn't want it to ruin his clothes and shit. he prolly wears like silk gowns and dances around to madonna while trippin off like 10g. he's livin the life tbh

OKAY HEAR ME OUT HEAR ME OUT HEAR ME OUT johnston. fucking johnston is only i repeat ONLY UP HERE‼️ because kasukabe gives him those little non thc thc pills people give to dogs with anxiety and agression issues to keep him calm

poor dokuga cant share with his besties so he's been condemed to eating edibles alone... also smoking/inhaling smoke makes him drool a bit so like a bit deadly for everyone around him to even try. i like, debated on putting him in never, but tetsujo prolly cooks smth up for him so he doesn't feel left out <3

natsuki is only at the top of sometimes because she probably would more if she had money. also she sucks in a blunt rotation cause her ass ALWAYS WITHOUT FAIL tries to hold it in and always coughs like a mfer and taps out after like one hit

vaux just makes sense. he looks like an average 30-40smth nu metal oldhead, theres no way he DOESNT smoke at least a little. id put him in 100% but he's also a fairly responsible doctor so liek idk

kasukabe doesnt as much anymore, mostly only when he's with haru, but he still does sometimes for funsies cause he's just chiil like that :3

tetsujo doesn't thattt much cause it fucks with his already dog shit depth perception super bad, but sometimes if ton or the others dont find it he shares it with dokuga and they like yuri pose and eat edibles together or smth idk

ik kaiman is gonna be controversial being so low, but listen. 1) his ass is too focused on socerers and shit to care 2) he's dirt poor. he simply cannot afford it 3) how tf is he gonna smoke with no lips? that blunt would just get chewed to shit. like genuinely he would maybe get one singular edible if nikaido or vaux were feeling nice, but other than that its like, idk almost never for him

i would but shin in never, but ik noi is like "boss!!!! come take hits off this bong with me!! its gonna be so sick omg you HAVE to come smoke with me RN!!!!" and he'd be like "sighhhhhh... anything for my weed smoking gf ig..."

ushishimada is only so low cause i feel like he's too mothery to smoke a lot? like, he's too responsible, but not responsible enough to outright say no. also they're poor asf and ton always smokes it all

fukuyama would get his ass kicked by tanba if he found out, but ik dawgs gotta take a load off sometimes tbh

now again, controversial take but i have reasons. risu is so fucking poor. like, genuinely he is too worried about his tuition, bills, and groceries to give af about it (also cause aikawa is a bitch and makes him pay for everything cause "i forgot my wallet oopsie :3c"). now aikawa does supply him tho and he hooks him up with the primo shit ong. so at least when he does smoke he smokes that good shit (also they yuri pose as well while they smoke)

again, saji is too mommy to smoke that much weed (also another case of being too poor). bro doesn't want his clothes and needlework to smell like shit, which i respect

ai 100% would if his ass wasnt so busy with his damn self expiramentation bs. like, he wants to smoke so bad tbh, but he's like "sigh i gotta work on my plans to rebuild my body from the ground up.. maybe tomorrow" stares longingly out the window imagining how cool smoking weed is

again, kai's over here fuckin "i have to go to work" like he genuinely just doesn't care or have time. he's never even thought about it tbh, like you're tellin me this mfer has had a single thought outside of total domination in his entire existance??? HELL NAH HIS ASS DOES NOT THINK HE HAS ZERO THOUGHTS IN HIS HEAD I STG

now this may also be controversial. why isn't by beautiful coquette cottagecore angelcore babe out there rolling and smoking the fattest blunts known to man? turkey just like doesnt feel it. its not for her tbh. she tried smoking, she tried edibles. she just wasnt a fan tbh. like, she'll cook up some of the tastiest edibles you've ever had if you ask, but she just aint a fan

kirion also just doesn't feel it tbh. again, its not for her and thats alright

wow surprise surprise another controversial take. like, before you get mad just think abt it for a sec. like, she's so fucking business first and always has been that i think she would just see it as a major hinderance on her job performance, as well as the performance of her employees later down the line. now im not saying she's a narc or hardass about it, im saying she just doesn't feel it. the high she gets from people enjoying her food and making money is enough for her tbh. also she does do edibles sometimes, but mostly like when it rains in hole to make it a little less miserable and painful

en is about the same. like, he def has. he's just like, idk. he doesnt wanna. its not for him anymore. he doesn't care if anyone in the family does it, but they better not sacrifice the quality of their work for it. like if he catches you high on the job its prolly like some sort of repremanding, but off the clock he dont gaf

genuinely copy paste nikaidos shit for tanba. he's too worried about his business to even consider smoking weed

now... kawajiri is a fucking narc and a half. his ass would be like "erm ☝️🤓 well actually" and then give a big long speech about how weed is bad blah blah blah whatever no one cares dawg stop fuckin yappin. but like, he's just pissed cause no one will smoke with him or share their weed with him cause he's such a hardass

fujita is kinda weed smoking gf coded, but like ik his ass would be like "EN! EN! I SAW EBISU SMOKING A BLUNT THE SIZE OF HER OWN FOREARM AND TRYING TO SHARE IT WITH KIKURAGE!!! YOU NEED TO STOP HER RN!!!!" but hes only like this cause when he was in a blunt roation with shin, noi, and ebisu they all told him holding it in made you higher, but he ended up puking and they all laughed at him and made fun of him for it because hes a fucking idiot. so now he's an evil little narc who squeals to en when he even catches a whiff of a skunk like scent

curse is a bitch and ik his ass is like "RAAAHHHH‼️ I GOTTA GO KILL THE CROSS-EYES BOSS RAHHH‼️ I NEED TO SEEK REVENEGE FOR MY MURDER RAHHHHHH‼️" like dawg chill tf out be so real rn. he's too focused on revenge and shit to smoke and like, i think if he did smoke and kai also smoked they'd have beautiful hot sexy yaoi, thats just me tho

oh my god shou is such a bitch about it. like sure kawajiri gives lectures about the "scary true reality of weed" and fujita is a narc, but this guy. oh my god this mfer. THIS IS THE REAL REASON EVERYONE FORGOT ABOUT HIM ITS CAUSE THEY KNOW HIS ASS IS GONNA WHINE AND BITCH AND MAKE YOU GO TO LIKE AA OR NA OR WHATEVER FOR IT!!!! HE'LL START CALLIN YOI AND ADDICT AND SAYIN ITS A GATEWAY AND SHIT AND HOW THE DEVILS WILL IMMEDIATLY DRAG YOI TO HELL AND TORTURE YOU FOREVER IF YOU EVEN THINK ABOUT IT OH MY BALLS

kikurage is literally just a dog dawg. her ass dont even know what weed is

store crow mauler is like... idk man. idk how it would smoke weed or if it even knows or cares what weed is. whatever, its kinds like a pet so whatevs

#dorohedoro #drhdr #ドロヘドロ #kaiman #nikaido #risu drhdr #aikawa drhdr #shitpost #vin speaks

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moon-thething · 5 months

Note

Yo it's me Kevin Anon again—you can answer this if ya feel like it and what not

But I had a more light-hearted ides for a Kevin x Reader lmao

Kevin with a reader who admires him on an almost child-like level and praises him a lot despite him obviously finding them annoying and not really wanting them around, and reader usually doesn't get that he doesn't like them because they're too stuck finding him "cool" to really comprehend that. But despite how annoying they can be, Kevin begins to slowly fall for them (because he's moron-sexual /j) and when he realizes it, he goes into denial because he can't believe he might like them of all people.

- Kevin Anon

I got so happy when I saw you left a request ngl

And yes, I absolutely love this

Also, sorry this took so long! I totally forgot I had this in my drafts!

Romantic or platonic?: Romantic

Readers gender: Neutral

Type: Fluff

¡Warning!: Not proof read, also probably cringe

------------

Kevin

Let's set the scene first, aka explain how you two actually met

You met through a close friend (Streber)

It was just a normal day for you and Kevin, but you both received a text from Streber saying he wanted to introduce all his friends to each other

He told you all to meet up at some place that isn't that important to the plot rn

You, being sort of weirded out by his actions since you already knew everyone, just decided to go along with his evil scheme

It doesn't matter if you arrived first or if you arrived last, your first interaction with Kevin was pretty chill

I imagine that Kevin must have done something cool to impress you and to make you start drooling over him (hypothetically that is)

It probably wasn't that impressive, but hey, it's what got your attention 🤷‍♀️

You were just walking around town with the group + Kevin. You didn't really have a destination you wanted to go to, just walking, nothing wrong with that (you got kicked out of a cafe for being too loud)

It was so sudden. A cat had landed in front of you, causing you to stop. But, since you were going at a quick-ish pace, you lost balance. You were trying to just grab onto something, but it lead to your phone falling from your grasp

Kevin was the first one to take notice and he was quick to grab you and your phone. He tumbled back a little, the noise finally seemed to catch the groups attention and they turned around only to see you and Kevin

"What happened?!" Streber yelled before anyone else could

"I think Y/n tripped on something." Kevin sighed, pulling you up to stand instead of him holding you, "You have to be more careful." He muttered in annoyance

You were too awestruck to even catch his annoyed tone, only nodding as you let out a hum of agreement

You focused more on Kevin for the rest of the hangout. Just chatting with him and asking him questions

It was weird, to Kevin at least. But he shrugged it off, thinking you just wanted to get closer after he saved your ass from spending who knows how much money on fixing your phone

But what really got him confused was when you continued talking to him after that day

I mean- he just saved your phone! It's not like he stopped world hunger or something

But that little action he did seemed to really stick with you, thinking it was sweet of him to save you from falling (delulu)

Kevin could've swore he lost braincells whenever you were around, it only got worse when you found out where he worked at

Each interaction you had with him just seemed to make him more and more sick of you

Until one day, where one little thing made his heart flutter a little

The candy clubs doors opened with a familiar ring, signifying that a customer has walked in

"Kevin!" Kevin scrunched up his face in annoyance, letting in a deep breath before turning towards you

"What do you want, Y/n?" He asks, his gaze catching a bax in your hands. What were you planning now?

"Oh, well I remember you mentioning that you were getting annoyed with the uncomfortable textures of clothes. And Streber mentioned that your birthday is in a couple of weeks. So I decided to give you an early birthday present, since it's kind of depressing to see you wearing the same hoodie over and over again." You laughed lightly, setting the box on the counter

Kevin raised a brow before opening the box. His eyes widened slightly as he saw two sweaters in the box, including what looks like to be... A bracelet?

"I added the bracelet for extra flare." You spoke up, laughing as you read the words on the bracelet, it was a little nickname that the group collectively have Kevin, "I made it myself.. If that means anything." You laugh awkwardly

Kevin only stared at the sweater in the box in awe, picking one up to get a better look. It was a plain one colored sweater, you remember hearing Kevin complain that he couldnt find a single non-tacky sweater, and the extra hour of you seeing the printed logo was totally wort it. Also, the sweater felt like heaven underneath Kevin's hands, the more he held it the more relaxed he felt

He put down the sweater looking at you with awe, the anger he previously felt suddenly dissapearing

"Thank you, Y/n" He said, giving you a kind, genuine smile. You smiled back

"It was nothing really, it just took a while to find everything..." The next words that came out of your mouth seemed muffled to Kevin. The only thing he was focused on was the perfect curvature of you face, how your lips moved as the voice that he previously viewed as annoying sounded more angelic to him. His heart fluttering as he felt like he was going to puke with all of the thoughts running through his head

He was definitely in denile for a while before he finally accepted his feelings for you

He could not look you in the eye, all of the emotions hitting him at once when he even glanced over at you. Don't even get me started when he accidentally brushes hands with you, or god forbid you hug him

He is totally embarrassed of his newfound feeling since he ranted to Streber how annoying you were

With all of his complaining it lead to Streber keeping the two of you away. Which was a relief on his behalf, he didn't have to be so tense anymore

But the relief quickly turned into fear, fear that Streber was gonna say that you annoyed Kevin and that you would stop with your acts

My mans was stressed

He was on a late night call with Streber, not being able to sleep and knowing Streber barely ever slept as well

And on that call was when Kevin finally accepted his feelings for you and told Streber

Streber was overjoyed, already planning in his head on how you two were going to interact more and how those interactions were going to lead to your guyses first date

And, with that information, whenever he started calling group hangouts he made sure both of you would be as close to each other as possible. Leading to Kevin giving him death glares

But hey! It all turned out great in the end!

Your childish behavior only led to Kevin falling harder of you and eventually blurting out that he has a crush on you

And it was so random too! You were just gossiping with him, as Streber had led you to Kevin to tell him all of the gossip, and he just blurted out how beautiful/handsome/amazing you are

You stopped mid talking to look at him, pure shock on your face. It took Kevin a few moments to realize when he said, and he was apologizing for it

You told him it was okay and after his embarrassment has faded he confessed. He was 100% ready to shrivle away, that's until you told him you liked him too

Overal, very wholesome. Also he felt really bad about hating y97 and didn't want to tell you when you two started dating 👍

#spooky month #spooky month x reader #sm kevin #gender neutral reader #sm kevin x reader #sm kevin x reader romantic hc

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enchantedchocolatebars · 5 months

Note

I need hurt/reallyFluffycomfort rn:

Beardo Philip and Camilla favouring Alma more, and Luz feels awful. Make sure it has a happy ending too!

A Wonderful Person And Daughter

(Based on these au headcanons by @livvychoclate)

Tears were streaming down Luz's cheeks as she packed the essentials she needed in her backpack while in her bedroom at night: snacks, money, extra clothes, her anime jacket, a toothbrush, toothpaste, and soap.

She also slipped in her Azura book so that she'd have something to read while on the road.

The teen was planning on running away from home and finding a new town to live in.

Luz really loved her mother with all her heart and she was slowly, but surely, starting to warm up to the idea of Beardo Philip being her stepdad.

However, ever since Alma, her little sister, came into the family, she's been feeling especially left out.

Alma received so much attention from Philip and Camila that they rarely had time to spend with Luz.

Their lack of nerdy activities together made Luz wonder if they had as much love for her as they did for Alma.

Luz's third sibling, a newborn, only added to her feeling of isolation from Philip and Camila, as he received the most attention.

Luz had a love for both her siblings, but she didn't enjoy feeling alone.

It was impossible for Luz not to blame herself.

She must have done something wrong for Camila and Philip to stop caring about her.

Perhaps it was due to her being the only child from her mother's previous relationship.

She felt like a mistake.

Putting both arms through the shoulder straps of her backpack, Luz headed towards the door and opened it.

"Goodbye," She whispered sadly as she took one last look at her room before closing the door.

...

While seated at the dining room table, Luz began to compose a goodbye letter with a pencil.

She sniffled as she wrote it, trying to avoid wetting the paper with her tears.

The letter was concise.

Dear Mom and Philip, I'm sorry for being such a horrible person and daughter. I plan on taking the bus to a new town. I'll miss you both.

- Luz

After writing the letter, Luz opened the front door and left on her own.

Her departure left her with tears in her eyes that spilled over her waterline and sorrowful sobs that clawed their way up her throat.

...

Philip and Camila were in a blissful state of sleep while their newborn rested between them as they snuggled in bed.

When Philip slowly awoke, opening his eyes, he turned towards his beautiful wife and baby, and couldn't help but smile softly at both of them.

"I'll be right back," He gently whispered to them as he got up and went downstairs for a glass of water.

...

Flicking the kitchen light switch, Philip walked towards the cabinet and opened it, grabbing a glass cup.

Approaching the sink, he turns on the water and fills his cup with an appropriate amount.

He then turns the faucet off.

As Philip drew his cup to his lips, he noticed a piece of paper lying on top of the dining room table.

Setting his cup down on the counter, he walked over to the table and picked up the writing paper.

Philip's blue eyes widened as he scanned the heart-wrenching words that were written down and immediately rushed out of the front door without delay, nearly forgetting to close it.

...

As her backpack sat beside her on the bus, Luz sighs in sadness.

She really was going to miss Gravesfield.

"Luz!" Her ears perk up at the sound of a male voice calling out to her from outside.

The tone was filled with agony.

"Huh?" As Luz looks out of her window, she sees Philip running on the sidewalk after the bus with a panicked look on his face.

"Philip?" Luz whispered as she got out of her seat.

"Wait, stop! I wanna get off!"

The bus driver stops the bus and Luz runs down the aisle and jumps off.

Luz then feels a tight hug from a set of arms as the bus begins to drive away.

"Oh, Luz," Philip began with a soft whisper, "Please refrain from scaring me like that again. Your Mother and I have a deep love for you. You are a wonderful person and daughter, and I consider you a blessing in my life."

Philip had no idea that Luz felt that way.

He planned to arrange a time tomorrow for him, her, and Camila to converse.

Building a more open and stable relationship with his oldest was Philip's objective.

"I'm sorry, Phili--" Luz corrected herself with a sniffle. "Dad. And thank you."

She sniffled again, hugging her father tightly. "I love you."

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student-in-nightraven · 2 years

Note

can you do chubby mc 😍😍 any characters is fine!! Hcs or ff you pick!! You can ignore this if ur uncomfy

Of course!and that doesn't make me uncomfortable at all it's a normal topic! I made the MC nonbinary because you didn't say what gender so just in case! Hope you enjoy, thank you for the request <3

Lucifer

He didn't notice at first because he was too busy trying to keep you alive in Devildom but once he did he didn't think much of it because it's just a human body nothing important. Once he got closer to you and warmed up to you he started giving you headpats out of nowhere (I stand by the fact that lucifer gives headpats often) and then one day he found out that some humans are rude and harass those who's body's look "different" and "Don't fit the beauty standards"...."pardon me but wtf?" Was he's exact thought, chubby people are THE beauty, he's met so many Goddesses and Angels who are chubby. Everyone looked up to them and everyone thought they were beautiful, heck even him. So he was really pissed off at that, but hey some humans are dumber than Mammon so what can you do?.

Anyway after that he made sure you knew you were beautiful even tho you are, especially if you were insecure, my guy started spending he's money to buy you gifts (ofc he didn't give you them right away so that he didn't seem desperate and soft he's pride would never let him) also he shares he's coffee with you, you guys have a coffee break everyday yay!

"So how's your headache?" MC asked jokingly, "well as long as my brothers are immature absolutely terrible, *sigh* I have no idea how they haven't matured yet" lucifer said as he brought he's palm to he's head, mc chuckled and took a sip of their coffee "they will mature one day don't worry" "mhm by then my hair will be whiter than Solomon's" lucifer joked as he drank he's coffee "But anywho how are things with your tasks?" "Meh nothing new, I'm getting better at demonology that's for sure" MC smiled, lucifer smiled back and took their hand in he's, "By the way, thank you lucifer, for the gifts, it really means a lot" mc said with a closed smile, Lucifer's grip tightened on their hand and used the other free hand to pat their head, MC laughed. The coffee break soon came to an end and Lucifer got up as did Mc "alright we should get back to our tasks now " lucifer said and MC nodded, before leaving tho, lucifer grabbed their hand and kissed their knuckles and bid them goodbye. ( This mans flirting will be the end of you one day)

Mammon

Okay so like lucifer he didn't think much of it as well, he was just annoyed he has to show you around because "he lost he's precious time spending money". But after warming up to you and everything he just l o v e d putting he's head in your lap, it was just heaven, he especially loved spooning you at night because it was so fluffy manz was astonished, but then he came across someone on the internet making fun of chubby people and he was so mad, my guy cursed that person and sent bad luck to them (I hc that he can give people bad luck)and after that he spent money on whatever you wanted, even if you told him it was enough he did not stop, clothes? You got it. shoes? The package is at your door. Accessories? He's putting one on you rn. Like he says in he's song, he's head over heels for you so he'll buy you anything, he's love language IS gift giving soo. But of course he also gives you physical affection, but since he's a tsundere mf it'll be hard for him to make the first move but it's fine because he'll find a way to make it seem like "yOur the one who wants a hug from thE gRrrreat Mammon!"

"alright MC what colour is your favourite?" He asked on the phone "it's f/c, why do you ask?" "Nothin nothin~ you'll find out soon enough! The great mammon has to go now, bye bye human!!" Weird. You thought, but shrugged it off. Later that day you heard a knock on your door and opened it, but there was no one there, when you looked down you saw a yellow box and you took it in, once you opened it you saw a pair of f/c shoes, you knew exactly who the person behind this was, smiled and hugged the shoes closer to you, what you didn't know is that that certain someone was hiding behind a wall and enjoying your happiness, satisfied that you got your gift he went back to his room.

Leviathan

When he first saw you he's first thought was "oh.my.diavolo. THEY LOOK LIKE THE CUTE ANIME CHARACTERS WITH FLUFFY ARMS AND LEGSAAAAA" he was squealing when he saw you. Tho he was still jealous of you. After the whole thing tho he warmed up to you and started showing you animes that included characters that reminded him of you. Like the rest tho, once he found out people didn't like those who's body's were "different" he was so upset, on the internet if he saw someone say shit about you he'd find their IP, address, bank account everything and expose their sorry ass (bank one gets to mammon)

"MC MC look!" He yelled out to you while excitedly showing you he's new anime figurine that had a lot of your features " Wow levi that looks so cool! They look nice" "I know! They reminded me of you so I bought it, uhm...you can have it.." Leviathan said shyly, mc chuckled and patted him on the head "it's alright levi you keep it" Leviathan shook he's head "no, I wanna give it to you, you rarely have any figurines since your a normie.. "am not-" SHUSH. So I'm giving this to you" Leviathan handed the figurine to you, you took it and held it close to your chest raising your head up to meet he's eyes and smiled at him "thank you Levi, really this means a lot to me I appreciate it" Leviathan blushed as he tried to cover it but with the back of he's hand while looking away "n no problem normie.." he may have made a rude remark that made you laugh but at that moment he was filled with love and adoration for you:).

Catan (sorry I don't really feel comfortable saying he's actual name-)

When you first came to Devildom he was intrigued by your body, he's read many books about the unique human bodies so he was glad he got to see one up close. Once you 2 warmed up to eachother he started studying your body more and asking questions,with one of the questions he found out that people with other kinds of bodies were shamed and he was so mad. my boy had to be held back by diavolo barbatos lucifer and Beelzebub to not go in the human world and blow that shit up. After he calms down he comforts you (if you were bullied for it and even if you weren't bullied for it) He gives you forhead kisses all the time, he really likes when you 2 are in the library or he's room (those 2 are basically the same thing but still) in eachother's embrace reading books in relaxing silence oh and also this man has 7 heart attacks when he sees you cuddled up to a cat, you just look so damn adorable with the fluffy cats he just. he's gonna faint.

Soft fur brushes against your leg as a grey cat meows at you, you smile and pick it up cuddling it close to you, at that moment catan arrives (I can't take him seriously with the nickname I have him HELP)Ahem, at that moment Stan arrives with a book in he's hand for you two to read, the second he sees the sight of the 2 beings he loves most in he's life my guy is using every blood cell he has within to not faint and cry, clutching he's heart, I'm not joking he legit has to grab on SOMETHING nearby or he's gonna fall. When you see him you wave at him showing the cat " looks like mimi warmed up to me as well" you say while scratching he's head as he starts purring, "y..yeah I can *cough* see that" "Stan see you okay?..you don't seem well" you ask raising a brow "yeah yeah I'm fine I'm fine" he says, he definitely doesn't look fine tho, he finally manages to walk over to you, sitting next to you as he starts petting the cat as well, the cat then jumps out of your arms to wander off, you turn your head to Stan still smiling, he smiles back and holds the book in he's hands "okay let's read now" as you scoot closer and begin reading, Stan still hasn't gotten he's attention to the book, it's still to you, unable to resist himself anymore, he gives you a peck on the cheek, surprised by the sudden action your cheeks redden, you chuckle and kiss him on the cheek, you two laugh and then finally start reading (I love him sm but I can't say heS nAme)

Asmo

Okay this man. This man. Is the body worshiper👏👏👏. The second he sees you he starts squealing it doesn't matter what body type you have he is gonna love it, compliment it and get he's hands on it. Stan literally has to hold him back so he doesn't latch himself onto you. From day one this man cannot stop commenting how adorable you look, like the others once you 2 get closer he starts giving you MORE affection (If that's even possible)shopping with you, taking pictures, spa time etc. He knows how in the human world not all people accept and see the beauty of chubby people, and he's exact words are honey don't waste your time on them! It's not your fault those uneducated roaches don't know beauty. He loves squishing your cheeks sm( AYO NOT THAT KIND OF CHEEKS, WELL..if you want those can too

¯\_( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)_/¯) their just so squishy and soft!!

"MC how about we have a spa day!" "Sure asmo sounds good" he excitedly grabs your arm and takes you to he's room "oh wow I didn't know you already had the whole spa routine planned out" mc laughed surprised "I am always ready no matter what darling~" he said as he started getting the mask prepared to put on the both of you, as he was about to put on yours he giggled and squished your cheeks "asmo!" "Sorry you know I can't resist you! You just look so adorable I might love you more than myselff" asmo said dramatically you laughed as you squished he's cheeks back as revenge he gasped "oh you naughty MC!" He laughed and hugged you. (This man loves squishing you:'))

Beel

Like the rest he didn't care what you looked like he knew it was another human body, was probably munching on a gronila bar or something- after warming up to you he started sharing he's snacks with you (it was hard but he managed) he found out most humans were shamed for chubby bodies but he was confused because why? It's just a body, he was upset about it but as long as no one shames you he won't go to violence

The sound of someone roaming in the fridge was very loud and clear, the said someone was none other than beel, footsteps were heard from behind him and he froze, wide eyed looked behind him so fast afraid it was lucifer, he's tensed body soon relaxed once he saw it was you " MC whafsn arw youfh doimg uwp so mwate" you laughed " I can't understand what your saying beel" he swallowed the food and asked " MC what are you doing up so late?" "I wanted to get some water" he made an oh sound and looked back to the fridge, he looked in the fridge as he took out a doughnut giving it to you, you smiled as you thanked him, munching on the doughnut as beel went back to raiding the fridge. After midnight snacks you were about to head to bedroom but beel asked if you wanted him to carry you there instead you gladly took the opportunity and agreed. He gave you a piggyback ride, once you arrived there you plopped down but asked "do I weigh anything to you?" "No, it's just like holding a couple of grapes" he replied (this is a tt reference iykyk) you laughed, he bent down and hugged you closed eyes big smile "goodnight mc see you tomorrow" "goodnight beel see you soon" you two smiled and waved goodbye to eachother as you went back to your room . (Also you 2 always share snacks)

Belphie

Okay so to this guy didn't matter what your body looked like he still wanted to kill you because he hates humans, but after the whole thing and once you two were good and close he kept on apologising. Let me tell you belphie lives for chubby body's, the laps are just perfect to sleep on, thighs are he's high and he would love to stuff he's face on your stomach, in your neck or in your arms just anywhere as long as your content, he truly loves and worships your body and has no idea why most humans shame people with chubby body's

"see that's why I hate humans" belphie said as he's head was on your stomach "they are missing out." He said as he nuzzled closer to you even more, you chuckled and patted he's head playing with he's hair, belphie hummed pleased with the comfort your giving him, as he lifted he's head up and gave you a peck on the nose and went back to sleep on your stomach "I love you MC" "I love you too belphie" you replied while rubbing he's head lovingly, both happy in each others embrace.

The end

A/n: ITS FINNALY DONEE, sorry it took so long! I saw this request late BUT THANK YOU SM FOR THE REQUESTT my first ever request was very special i hope you enjoyed this <3

#obey me #obey me shall we date?#obey me oneshot #obey me x mc #obey me x reader #obey me lucifer x reader #obey me mammon x reader #obey me leviathan x reader #obey me satan x reader #obey me asmodeus x reader #obey me beelzebub x reader #obey me belphie x reader

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ohwynne · 2 months

Text

TIMING: Around Christmastime PARTIES: Zane @rn-zane & Wynne @ohwynne LOCATION: A store SUMMARY: Zane and Wynne have to deal with an entitled customer while in line together! A conversation follows. CONTENT WARNINGS: N/A

After all this talk about Christmas decorations and consumerism and what not, Zane couldn’t help but feel a little bit guilty as he hugged the shopping basket to his chest. It was just a few strings of lights, nothing boisterous, but the darkness of the house from the outside felt more and more looming with every passing day. The least he could do was put up some lights, pretend it was inviting when he got home from work. Actually making it look lived in would perhaps prevent an accidental squatter from settling in, too. Especially now with Chris dropping in when needed.

The store was fairly busy, an after-work rush forming a decent queue to the cash register. Zane zoned out, eyes rolling slightly when he finally noticed that there was indeed Christmas music playing. Apparently it really was never too early. Blocking out the rather bad pop-rendition of Santa Baby, his eyes roamed aimlessly until they caught on a gut wrenchingly familiar sight. Wynne’s back was facing him but it was them, no doubt about it. A few people separated them in the line but the second they’d finished paying, Wynne would turn and spot him.

They’d made it very clear that Zane’s… well, existence, brought them discomfort. He couldn’t blame them in the slightest. Shifting on his feet, worry rising at the thought of ruining Wynne’s whole day, about them probably trying to be polite while absolutely hating the sight of him, Zane made the sudden decision to simply leave. Gently nudging the person in front of him with an apologetic smile, he gestured past her. “Sorry, I just need to-”

“Boy, if you think I’m letting you cut this line, you are dead wrong.” Her voice rang out loudly, eyes sharp and freezing Zane to the spot, excuses about just needing to get past to leave falling on deaf ears as she continued on a tirade of ‘kids these days and their manners.’

—

With their new job paying a little better, Wynne was starting to grow more comfortable with spending some money on themself. One of their newest objectives when it came to spending money was adding more items to their wardrobe, which had been limited and very much filled with old Protherian clothing ever since they’d ran away. And though those fabrics were sturdy and comfortable, they looked out of place or rather — not like themself. Someone who had grown untethered from the commune that had clad them, fed them and told them how to both live and die.

They had tried on different clothes, looking at their figure in the mirror as if it was an improved version of themself, while also feeling like they were a stranger. It wasn’t really like they were venturing out wildly — they still clung to muted, earthy tones. But there was a pair of jeans in their arms that felt very much like a statement piece to them.

It was a glorious, kind moment where their freedom was celebrated in a tiny yet meaningful way. They almost forgot about the pessimism that had overtaken their mind, but it soon enough returned when another customer raised her voice. Wynne looked over their shoulder to look at the commotion, eyes already wide but growing wider at the sight of Zane. The sound of the woman’s voice seemed muffled even if it grew louder with every self righteous work she spoke and Wynne swallowed.

They seemed to land after a moment, grasping the situation better as in the background of their mind they remembered the vampire woman who had forced Zane’s head down into their neck. How she was dead like Padrig and the demon. They didn’t feel afraid, they found, just a general type of bad. Like their guts were churning in their stomach in response. “It’s okay, he’s with me, he’s not cutting in line,” she said to the woman, fingers digging in the fabric. “But we’ll um, leave. Okay?” Wynne moved from their spot in the line, leaving one less person for the angry woman to wait on and heading towards the back of it. The last thing they wanted was to be a witness or participant in some kind of scene. At the back of the line they loitered, looking at Zane and wanting to say something — just not being sure what.

—--

This was hell. Hell was real and Zane was stuck smack dab in the middle of it, being shouted at by an older lady with Wynne’s attention turning towards him, eyes widening in horror. He could have moved first, turned his head away, anything. Instead, Wynne’s gaze and the angry confrontation kept him glued to the spot, mouth dry and stomach twisted with anxiety. In some karmic twist, Wynne was the one who stepped up to the rescue, diffusing the situation.

The woman still looked offended but clearly found it harder to be angry with Wynne than the tall and, in her opinion, rude young man. Zane, to his credit, did manage to mutter an apology despite being practically smacked speechless at this point. His feet shuffled until he too had left the queue, hands clutching desperately at the basket in his hands. As if the solution to this situation rested somewhere underneath the lights and garland stuffed in there.

Wynne was watching him, making a prompt exit stage left seem a bit hasty, so Zane slowly shifted his way over. A good six feet of distance separated them, both seeming just as lost for words. “Those look nice,” was the first thing to leave his mouth that wouldn’t have been a new rendition of profuse apologies, head nodding towards the jeans in their arms.

—

So much had happened since that time in the barn. That wasn’t to say the memories had grown any less sharp and jagged — Wynne still awoke panting to the memory of that dank and dark place, feeling that cold sharp pain in their neck again. They still looked at Arden and wondered if she thought about it too, if she replayed those bits even if she didn’t want to. But so much had happened since all the same.

Some of the most relevant occurrences perhaps having happened within them. Though part of them was more lost than ever now that the demon was dead and that chapter was closed, they also felt more in charge than they ever had before. Zane was no longer as scary a thing as he had once been, in those initial days, weeks and even months since the kidnapping. And though they felt uncomfortable, there was no resentment or fear to be found. Just that same sadness that everything came back to these days.

They looked down at their jeans, then back up at Zane. “Oh. Thank you.” Wynne grimaced a little. They almost opened their mouth to explain that they were very excited to buy new clothes, but Zane barely really knew them. “That woman was not very nice. Your … lights are nice though.” They dug their teeth in their lip. “Um. How have you … been?” They did kind of wonder. After all, they understood now that Zane had lost quite a bit at that barn, too.

—

It wasn’t a smile but it was… something. Their eyes no longer held the same glaring amount of conflict as they’d done in the hospital, the last time Zane had seen them. Wynne looked better, too. Stronger, almost. But still in some ways shrunken by the weight of the vampire’s presence. He glanced back towards the woman who had loudly made her opinions known, giving a small shrug. “People get tense around the holidays,” he excused, even though he had no idea if that was just the lady’s general attitude. Benefit of the doubt.

His lips quirked slightly, relieved in some ways that Wynne seemingly wanted to keep this conversation going. It almost slipped out, that he was going to decorate the house but bringing their attention to the place Wynne had been held and hurt seemed… bad. “Trying my hand at some decorating,” Zane said lamely instead, shifting his weight, wishing things were different.

“Oh, uhm…” His eyebrows had shot up in surprise, the question probably the last thing he’d expected Wynne to ask. “You know… dealing. Done a bit of training with Emilio which was… surprisingly nice. Lots of work, keeping busy.” Zane focused on relaxing his hands, currently twisting the handle of his basket within an inch of its life, the plastic threatening to snap. “You and uh, Ariadne, huh? That’s great.”

—

That seemed to be true enough, that these so-called holidays made people more tense. Wynne tried not to think about last year around this time, when they’d been on the run and so many places had been packed and decorated. “I guess so.” People at home would get stressed around big rituals and the like as well, lash out more easily and make larger demands. They wanted to stop comparing things to the past and live in the present.

But it was unshakeable. Zane stood across from them in the store, but they were also across from them in the barn. They blinked. “I like the decorations,” they stated bluntly and simply, “The town looks nice. Twinkling like that.” They tried not to think about where Zane might put up the decorations, preferred to think it was just at the hospital.

When the vampire mentioned Emilio they were a little surprised. It wasn’t like they felt betrayed by this fact — just surprised. They trusted the slayer’s judgment, just as they trusted in Ariadne’s. That was two points in Zane’s favor. “That’s very nice of him. He taught me some moves too. It’s good I think, for us.” They probably could use some fighting skills. “Still at the hospital?” Wynne beamed a little, nodding. “Yes. I’m — maybe it’s …” They cut themself off. “It’s really nice. About five months now.”

—---

Zane couldn’t pretend not to notice the signs of discomfort, the way Wynne’s eyes would unfocus for a second or shift uncomfortably away from him, the tension in their shoulders. Not that he was doing any better but comparing their situations felt unfair - Wynne didn’t have anything to make up to him. “I agree. It’s always been my favorite thing about the season, everyone trying to keep away the darkness.” He huffed out a quiet chuckle at himself. “Which sounds way too dramatic when talking about fairy lights.”

Talking about the people they both knew instantly felt safer. Zane didn’t want Wynne feeling obliged to ask how he was doing, to pretend to care about his emotional state just for the sake of politeness. Both of them cared about Emilio, for some reason, and Ariadne for obvious reasons so the common ground felt steadying. The line moved forward and the two shuffled along with it. “Yeah, it was strangely nice. He’s a good teacher.” It was comforting that Wynne was learning how to defend themselves, too. While Zane definitely needed to, it was clear which of the two was more vulnerable. “Still there, yup. No shortage of people that need the ER, sadly.”

Watching Wynne’s face be taken over by an emotion that wasn’t stress nor discomfort made Zane unable to contain his own smile. “I’m really happy for you two. It’s good that you have each other.”

—

The world had been painted in black and white at home. No shades of gray — just absolutes. Things were either good or bad. There was either sowing or reaping, day or night, life or death. All these opposites were required for a balanced world, and in that kind of world view there was no space for someone like Zane. Someone who had hurt them badly and was still good. But Wynne had gained insight over the past months and knew now that these things could coexist. “No, it makes sense. At home we’d burn a lot of candles when it got dark. And there were the stars, of course. You can’t see them as well here.” They flushed a little, at this lifting of the veil.

It was still hard to trust their own judgment at time, as it felt like their mind was leaking with the thoughts of people back home. But Emilio and Ariadne trusted Zane, and he was being nice to them now. They inhaled and exhaled deeply and found that their unease wasn’t as large as it had been at the beginning of this conversation. “He really is.” They smiled sadly. “I would hope one day less people need it.”

They nodded. “I think so too.” Wynne was quiet for a moment, fumbling with the tag on the jeans. They didn’t want to befriend Zane, but they also didn’t want to think of him as the monster from their memory any more. He’d killed the woman who’d forced his teeth down. Wynne had condemned their mentor to death. There was a red thread there, something tying them together. They didn’t want to explain it to him yet (if ever), but it made them feel something close to forgiveness. “It’s okay. If you want to be friends with Ariadne. I’ve thought about that. It’s okay. You seem like …” They shrugged. “You could be a good friend to her.” They were both undead, after all. And in that area, Wynne could never offer Ariadne their full understanding.

—

It took him a moment to realize the flush spreading over Wynne’s face and another moment to realize why, his usual intuitiveness in reading people murky by the stress of this encounter. They had revealed something they hadn’t meant to, reminding Zane of their strange bonding experience way back in that hospital room. Another piece in the puzzle of Wynne's life, but clearly one they hadn’t meant to let slip so Zane brushed it off for them. “Nothing really beats a sky full of stars. I am a sucker for a scented candle, though.”

Again, silence settled between the two of them but it didn’t feel quite as heavy as before, a small step in the right direction perhaps? Zane was used to the silence of people thinking, pondering on a response or what to say next. Now that Wynne no longer looked like they wanted to bolt from the store, he could let the silence sit. Eyes widened slightly when they finally spoke again, a proverbial olive branch being handed over that Zane still didn’t feel quite deserving of. “That’s-” He cut himself off, an array of things to say at the ready that all eventually boiled down to sounding like he didn’t trust Wynne’s judgment on this.

“Alright. Well, I’ll be here if she has any time. I’ve heard being in a nice relationship can be really time consuming.” A joke, sort of, delivered with a soft smile. Almost hopeful. Zane didn’t expect Wynne to ever fully get over what had happened - it had left more scars than just the one they were clearly quite expert at covering up. But maybe things could, at some point, be fine.

—

Zane didn’t ask about where they’d come from, where they had burned the candles and seen the stars. There were a lot of places with candles and stars, of course, but it still felt like something personal. Maybe one day they’d tell him about how they’d recognized something of themself in him, but this place was not the right one. “I personally prefer a nice scented oil. But I don’t say no to a candle either.” This small bit of common ground was nice enough for now.

Had this really been the person who’d ripped open their throat? Who’d made them bleed despite his refusal to? It was hard to think of this Zane as the same person as he stood here, with strings of lights and talking of things so mundane. Wynne knew people contained multitudes. People could be vicious and violent and yet be kind, like Emilio. People could care about you and still intend to hurt you, like their parents. People could be the sweetest, softest person you knew and still have to make others afraid, like Ariadne. It didn’t make sense, but it did. It just was this way.

They let out a nervous laugh, bursting past their lips awkwardly. “We have our own lives! But yes … I do take up some of her time. But it’s okay. Really.” Wynne was sure of it. They felt a twinge of selfishness for their previous request, but then their neck was still marred. Some things took time. “I hope your house looks nice after decorating. I’m … I’m going to check out now. See you around, Zane.” There was no need to duck into an opposite direction if they were to see him again, after all. He hadn’t meant any harm in the barn and he certainly meant no, now. They lifted a hand in a half wave and walked back to the check-out, feeling their throat throb but feeling something besides their elation, too. Hope.

#zane.#a certain darkness.#threads.

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dr0pp0pc4ndy · 1 year

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「What the older brothers do for Valentines Day」

When they’re not trying to undo a curse, that is

Pairings: Gn!Mc x romantic/platonic!brothers

Content: Food

[A/N: I wanted to post this a lot earlier since it’s probably not even Valentines day for a lot of people rn but like tumblr crashed then deleted like 3 paragraphs and formated the post all wonky and the whole 9 yards. Also levi’s part deleted like 3 times so if it seems lazily written, that’s why. Despite that i hope you can enjoy :3]

Lucifer

If you are in a romantic relationship he would get you something traditional like a box of chocolates, a bouquet, and a bottle of wine wrapped in a ribbon of your favorite color, maybe a card with a special note written on it.

He would reserve a table at Ristorante Six for you both, finishing the evening by listening to one of his many records together. Oftentimes, his pride gets in the way of him letting you know how much you really mean to him but he’ll try his best to open up to you today. Cherish this, he cant even admit he loves his brothers, you’re special.

If you have a platonic relationship, you, him, and Lord Diavolo can spend the day together. He would still get you a gift don’t worry. Pretty much the same but a bouquet denoting friendship, yellow roses, mums, or sunflowers and maybe not chocolate but instead one of your favorite snacks, or cupcakes from Madame Screams.

This would probably be a time when he would tell you one of his stories about Simeon or Lord Diavolo. Even though he hasn’t known you as long as the others, he still cherishes you and holds you as near and dear as them. He won’t say this out loud but the avatar of pride doesn’t just spend his free-time with anyone, that in itself is a sign you are loved.

Mammon

If you’re in a romantic relationship, i hope you like being spoiled. He may get you a flower or two but his main gift would be a gift basket. You know those gift baskets people make for special occasions with all the candy, hygiene products, clothing and a teddy bear? That’s what you’re getting

If he has the money (which is rare), he’d take you out to Devil’s Diner. Whats more romantic than a diner? Maybe you can share a milkshake??👀

If you’re just friends and you’re down for a Harrison Porter marathon, thats how you two will spend your night. If you’re not in a movie type of mood, he’s more than willing to play blackjack or any other card game, at home or at his favorite casino

If you chose to go out, drinks are on him. Just don’t get too caught up in the free drinks you lose yourself, you need to be able to sneak back in the HoL, after the incident you two aren’t allowed to go to the casino on weekdays

Leviathan

If you’re in a romantic relationship, bless you, he has never had a romantic experience like this, he is a mess. He was overthinking for days on what to get you, but he eventually settled on the mini valentines day funko pops. Instead of getting you real flowers, he got light up flowers that you can keep forever because they will never die.

Makes a little minecraft world for you with a special rollercoaster than shows you fireworks and little structures he built for you. (if the sakura update was out already he could add those but alas). I promise this is more sweet than im describing it lol. (credit to @/Kashii.cos on tiktok for the minecraft screenshot)

Don’t think that valentines day makes him less of a shut in, he still is but he cleaned his room extra good for you and layed down a nice quilt so you don’t have to sit on the floor.

If you’re in a platonic relationship, you two are still gonna have an amazing time. Did someone say co-op video games?? On top of those, you’ll also play fun sleepover games like justdance and the tsl board game.

If you’re into nail art, MAYBE you can convince Levi to let you paint his nails, watch out for Asmo though you’re seriously stepping on his toes.

•

☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆

#obey me #obey me headcanons #om shall we date #om headcanons #omswd #obey me lucifer #om lucifer #obey me mammon #om mammon #obey me levi #obey me leviathan #om leviathan #om levi

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swollenbabyfat · 6 months

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I wanted to ask, as someone who loves the lollita style, where you get your clothes from? The outfits you post always look so lovely!

Thank you so much!!

I've been building my closet for ten years or so in styles that I like, primarily by waiting for indie brands to have a sale, thrifting, hand made work by artist, and other secondhand markets. Lacemarket for sure when I am looking for lolita, I wanna do an order from 42lolita at some point but I haven't tried them yet. I haven't ever bought a brand dress new I don't think.

For thrifting, I mostly scout stuff out by keeping in mind colors and texture I want in my wardrobe. It's kind of like a creature that I feed a couple of things every once in a while and then it feels very refreshed. I'm pretty low income and have been trying to be more mindful on my consumerist habits in general lately, so I've kind of making notes of things I want to fill out particular parts of my closet...like, I really want a red pair of shoes, so the next time I have any kind of money I might prioritize that over something that JUST caught my eye, ya know.

I've been kind of getting bored of a lot of new clothing/can't afford cool stuff by indie designers rn so I've been going back to my roots in thrifting, I think you get such good quality stuff out of vintage that is just so cute...I really want more sheer and lace pieces, I've been thinking cult party kei a lot lol.

I think another way I kind of spice things up is putting more money into the accessories of an outfit than the main pieces. Thrifting the main piece and then spending more of the budget on unique statement piece accessories is a good way to start a wardrobe. I have had a lot of luck on Esty for this, even if it's going downhill if you know how to spot the difference between an artist/creator and a dropshipper you can still find some good stuff.

I want to start going to flea markets too. Oh also I will say I always check the clearance section of any clothing store I go to, first most of the time if I'm not on a mission for something else...sometimes you can find some bangers....lol

this is really rambley but I could talk about fashion for one million years, thank you for the ask!

#rambles #ask #faq #fashion #long post

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maythearo · 1 year

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JAMIL NEWS!!!

Jamil Viper was found at the streets of Pernambuco, enjoying the Carnaval and dancing frevo! In a exclusive interview, he said his favorite food is acarajé and coxinha

Jokes aside, I really like the idea of Scarabia duo, Octatrio and Savannaclaw enjoying Brazil! And I really like that Malleus would use something similar to that Hawaiian shirt he bought in the Yasmina silk event (I really don't know what that shirts name, I just know its the same as the Genie in the end of Aladdin). And I also love thinking about Jamil using traditional São João outfit (mano, ele com uma camisa xadrez vermelha e preta... Oh homem lindo).

I want to claim Jamil as Brazilian, but I can't-

Do you have any HCs like that?

And omg you opened comissions!!!! I'm so happy, even if I don't have money for it, IM STILL VERY HAPPY FOR U FOR A REASON I CAN'T EXPLAIN, I DON'T KNOW WHAT ELSE TO SAY!

Beijitos!

- The BR Jamil Simp Anon

First of all, you're so sweet, thank you 😫 and second ANON LEMME TELL YOU SOMETHING YOU'RE MAKING MY BRAIN GO NUTS CAUSE I WANNA DRAW ALL OF THAT, AS A GOOD BRAZILIAN ARTIST WOULD! Also hello Jamil bbygirl what are you doing here in Brazil haha twirls hair twirls hair

Omg I'm thinking on the spot rn of some good br headcanons, and I completely agree with you, out of all the dorms, Scarabia, Octavinelle and Savanaclaw would definitely vibe the most in Brazil. Hold on lemme breath in before I shove all my hcs into this post hold on. Eng speaking mutuals and followers I will hold yall hostage to listen to my insane rambles ok here we go

First and foremost, I just know Ruggie is brazilian 100%, and I think we can all agree to that, he's our boy 🙌 he would absolutely drag Leona and Jack around, getting them to try a little bit of everything whenever they get the chance. The hyena boy would pile a bunch of stuff on Jack's arms saying "You HAVE to try this snack- wait have some caldo de cana too... OH you can't forget this piece of candy-" and last thing you know Jack is just buried under pounds of little treats and trinkets.

I personally visited very little States here, but at least around São Paulo and Rio, one of my favorite things to do is to browse those classic, super pretty handmade jewelry they sell on the beach, decorated with crystals and stones, and I just want to get them all even though I might not even use half of the stuff I buy. But anyways, Leona doing that. Leona getting tererê de cabelo to go with the braids. He's gonna spend so much money with clothes and accessories and he's gonna look stunning doing it.

Btw btw I'm obsessed with a store called Atame (@/voudeatame on ig) they have the most brazilian jewelry and clothes ever and the designs are gorge, I should draw Leona wearing something inspired by that someday 😭

Bro if there's anything we all learn in major tourist spots is that you gotta be smart with prices and everything, keep an eye out to not get scammed, unfortunately... But you know what, Octavinelle is just chill with that. You think anyone can scam AZUL? That's impossible. Anyone tries anything with the octatrio, the person is just gonna get scammed back. Jokes aside, I picture Floyd wearing the good ol havaianas, shorts, and maybe #those glasses wherever he goes, Jade might even go along with it every now and then, why not.

This randomly reminds me of Ace cause his casual outfits definitely exclusively consist of that + a random football team shirt. I couldn't care less about football but listen. Corinthians. Simply cause he's annoying and that would be very in character of him (É MEMES, NAO ME MATEM CORINTHIANOS)

Have you ever noticed how Trey looks like the twst version of Zé Carioca. Let that sink in.

Thinking about Malleus, don't you think he would love to visit historical towns and monuments? There's so much history in our architecture, he'd find most fascinating I'm sure.

I just know Jamil and Kalim would absolutely own the dance floor in carnaval, like. No dobts about that. Kalim specially, would love to participate in any bloquinhos de carnaval if he could. Sounds exhausting for me to even be amongst a single one, but okay Kalim, get it I guess 💃 Scarabia and Brazil we share vibes!!!!!

You mentioned the São João fit, and I also thought of Epel, that boy invented Festa Junina, fr. He throws biribinha/estalinhos everywhere to piss off Vil. Also Jamil oh homem perfeito c é doido, n é possível uma coisa dessas.

São João stalls under the management of Octavinelle and it's hell on earth

Sam would open a famous lojinha de 1,99 for sure, I will not elaborate. Oh also whenever I stumble upon frog shaped reco-reco I think of him, I think he would sell them idk idk

Ruggie will show Kalim those brown colored glass plate sets every grandma got in their houses, and tell him they are indestructible.

"Jamil, Jamil! Check this out! Ruggie says these plates NEVER break! Oh we need to have them in Scarabia, pleeaseee!"

"What do you mean they never break? No, Kalim don't-"

Kalim throws it to the floor, it immediately shatters in a million pieces. "I think it hit a weird angle, that must be it."

Idia = alanzoka

Me @ Jamil:

#have a happy carnaval #im not even gonna go to parties just watch the pretty stuff on tv and stay inside 💃#the BR Jamil simp anon #twst br

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starstruckloves · 16 days

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2, 6 and 7 with Lucifer and Licorice !!

yippee !!! 🫶🫶 YAP WARNING:

2 - What's their go-to order at a cafe? What's yours?

wellll for Lucifer, i saw a tumblr post where he would have the most complicated coffee order n i have just been running with that ever since bc it feels so accurate (i sadly do not remember who posted that rn but if anyone does let me know !!!) but for Licorice, i feel like he would try to be all emo n order his coffee black but he just. straight up hates it SJFHSJ he needs something sweet in it.

now me personally, don’t hunt me down y’all but u could not get me to drink coffee for anything tbh. i literally hate the stuff i have tried it so many different ways JDHSJD but since this is a cafeeee, probably uhh,,,, now that i think abt it i literally don’t like sweet foods much either 💀 i guess i would order soda or tea if they had it

6 - They gave you a gift!! What is it?

(talking abt actual me n not my s/i’s) now i’m a sucker for clothing. specifically pink clothing. it would be really easy to just say they buy me something pink but i’ll get a bit more creative

i would absolutely adore a little custom made duck by Lucifer !!! it would be so sososo cute n i would just carry it around like my lil treasure 🫶🫶 for Licorice i feel like he would def worry abt it for way too long SKDJSJ especially if it’s for a special occasion (birthday, christmas, etc) bc he has to absolutely make sure it’s good. he def goes over the top n either tries to use his magic for something or makes me a cute lil outfit !!! he canonically can sew so he’d probably try to make me a piece of clothing or stuffed animal

7 - What's your f/o's favorite form of affection? What's yours?

i feel like they both have the same ones. both enjoying physical touch but the biggest one being words of affirmation. they both need confirmation that i actually like them n that they’re doing enough (n i’m always happy to give that 🫶🫶)

but on the giving side however. Lucifer probably is best at physical touch and gift giving. he’s a lil crafty man so why not ?? plus i feel like if we were to go anywhere he’d constantly be like “oh i can pay for that! :D” n he’ll never let me pay for a goddamn thing KSBDSJ now Licorice,,, i genuinely sat here n thought abt it for 5 minutes bc i could not think of one. closest i can think of is acts of service but if i were to come up with one myself ? bullying. thats it SJDHJSD no but he kinda a grouch so its hard to tell but i feel like if ur close to him, his general coldness becomes playful teasing instead

for me quality time is a big one. i love when others r just generally around me n actually put effort into spending time with me 🫶🫶 but for giving, it’s gift giving all the way. i will spend my money on my friends first n worry abt myself later. i will draw whatever is asked of me if i like u. i love gift giving n seeing ppl actually like what i did :] !!

#ajhejsbd so many words #born to yap forced to YAP LONGER #weird ramblings ☆#self ship #f/o #☠️🖤#❤️‍🔥👑

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yaminerua · 7 months

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negative vent

the state of my life rn feels like a runaway train

man idk how people can just cook and clean up and not just completely feel like they’re turning to dust afterwards from exhaustion

idk how my family made breakfast lunch and dinner and navigated me not liking the main dinner as a kid and having to have something else bc just making one meal for three of us is enough to put me in the ground so the thought of having to do an additional meal alongside the first one makes my brain feel like it’s ripping itself apart with stress

I end up completely mentally and physically drained bc of all the different steps plus the anxiety of making sure I tidy up afterwards bc if I don’t do it immediately it won’t get done and it’ll build up

there’s got to be some neurodivergence making this extra hard but whether that’s just the good old fashioned depression or something else that makes it feel like torture trying to maintain just regular daily upkeep idk

my dad is trying desperately to make money in a self employed job that hasn’t fucking paid anything in years bc it relies on business deals he facilitates actually going ahead and reaching the payment stage which has literally never happened in the years he’s been trying to do it bc he lives in a fantasy land where he thinks he can make big money on big deals with people who do not give a fuck that we are struggling to hold onto our fucking house and who could fix our problems with one payment that wouldn’t even dent their mountains of money

so he is on the phone constantly and unable to find time to feed himself or my brother who sleeps until 6pm, won’t eat anything after midnight and is losing weight while already considered underweight despite me now spending nearly all day in the kitchen trying to get meals and snacks and shit for him to keep him from getting any more underweight

and I’m just buckling man

I have no time for myself to just sit and chill properly. Even when I try to get a drawing or something doodled out it’s done while I’m sitting in the kitchen waiting for my legs to stop throbbing so I can get back to cooking or washing up. I keep talking about wanting to get back to digital art and commissions once I have my hands on a laptop but the reality is even when I get that I might still just not have the actual time to do what I used to love doing

I haven’t been out of the house much since before the pandemic. I haven’t seen any friends since then either. My life has become a slog of wake up, spend the day in the kitchen in a constant frenzied anxiety cooking state, go to bed and be plagued by the Horrors making me just want to die and not have to wake up to more of the same and there’s no end to it

I’m still waiting for the dwp to give me the extra money I am eligible for and I’m dreading the winter after the struggle the last one was.

I’d have takeout more often if we could justifiably afford it. But my brother is particular about those too and only eats certain things so even if I had the money and energy I don’t have much I can work with. How do you fit a full day’s worth of meals into less than 5 hours when your options are further limited by what he’ll accept

I’m worried about him and his low energy. I’m worried about dad and his high stress. I’m worried about the house being taken if our money runs out. I feel guilty that I’m failing my brother and dad despite turning myself inside out to cook for them and tidy up after myself and make sure they get food even tho it’s clearly not enough.

and on top of that I’ve had a shitty wheezy chest for months presumably bc of the air quality in here bc of the dust and clutter that just has sat for ages bc who has the time to go through it and there’s fucking clothes moths hanging around spiders everywhere and I can move the clutter to clean around it enough

I’m absolutely clawing my way through each day and the only reason I don’t just give in to the exhaustion and spend the whole week in bed is the fact they both need me to do this

pre-covid my uncle used to spend more time here bc my granny was here so things were so much more balanced and maintained but after his mental health struggles in lockdown knocked him for six the state of the house stresses him out so much he can’t come near and it depresses him and as a result I haven’t seen him since last year at my granny’s birthday at the care home and before that it was sometime in 2020 the last I’d seen him

I’m on the brink of collapse and I’ve had a whole bunch of dizzy spells in the kitchen lately and yet I push on bc I can’t stop

I’ve become some kind of spindly pillar trying desperately to hold up a crumbling household and I’m splintering in the process under the pressure but what can I do? If I don’t do this it’ll only be much worse

fucking hell im so tired

#I just need to get it out bc I’m stressed and exhausted and tired of everything #weight mention and just. Generally a bad time #personal shite

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