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michael-after-hours · 1 year

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First Time for Everything

Summary: Ace Merrill isn't unlike everyone else in aspects of he's always had a first time for everything in his life, even if he tries so hard to deny he ever had a first experience with anything.

His most recent and jarring experience is with Richard 'Eyeball' Chambers, his best friend and the real leader of their little gang.

Warning: mentions of past child abuse and child neglect, underage drinking and smoking(it's stand by me we should know these fellas aren't quite adults yet) homophobic language (it's like the 50s), Ace being a typical asshole, mental breakdowns. Mentions of self-harm, and mentions of losing a loved one. Child abuse, bullying, it... it's ace merrill...he can only be oh-so nice.

Notes: I just think they're kinda fruity✨

Ace Merrill always had his issues, his ups and downs, highs and lows in life. While contradictory to what he spews and boast, he's fallen on his ass screaming and crying for help more times than he has tripped and walked it off.

Ace was only five years old when he was back handed by his father for "Being too loud". He still feels the sting of it, how he fell to the ground and a ways away from his father.

He remembers his mother rushing to pick him up and scolding his father only for her to get back handed as well and take Ace with her to his bedroom. That was the first time he was ever back handed.

Ace was only eight when he was picked up by his pants and nap of his shirt, then chunked into the water by an older cousin.

He couldn't swim yet and was trying to teach himself to fish while at a lake house of a relatives for the thanksgiving holidays. Screaming and crying, wailing gasping on water.

He went under three times and only came up a fourth time after an Uncle jumped in to get him. He was eight the first time he nearly drowned, and thankfully the last time.

Ace was ten when he was left at school alone for three hours. His mother was in the hospital due to sickness, and his father off too drunk to remember to pick him up.

He told the ladies at the front office someone was coming to get him, and he didn't need to ride the bus home...only to walk the long long walk home.

It was a crisp autumn evening, the sun vanishing quickly and the walk to his house had no lights and he didn't have anything to ride home on.

Hot wet tears stained his face that day he dragged himself home, scared, alone and hungry and let himself in the house that was left abandoned for the night. He was ten the firs time that happened, but it wouldn't be the last.

Ace was thirteen when he was offered a ride home during winter.

A boy named Richard Chambers, a smile that was so warm it could've melted the snow, and a laugh so intoxicating it made Ace smile.

He rode a little bicycle, ruby red, an "Early Christmas gift" from his relatives down south who couldn't make the trip this year for him. It has room for someone to stand on the back.

"I normally take my little brother home, but he went home with some friends, and you live near me!" He happily told him.

Ace gladly accepted the offer and held on tight to Richard as they went up and down the large hills. Ace basked in how it felt like they were gliding, flying down the long stretches of hills and oh how he and Richard laughed and ran out of breath when they got to Ace's house. He was thirteen when he made his first ever friend.

Ace was fifteen when he experienced his first major loss in life. His mother passed away from her illness.

Ace didn't actually know what she passed away from, none of them really did. She would get more clumsy and forgetful, pass out more and more, nearly caught the house on fire....

The doctors said it was a stress induced illness. so ace took it upon himself to help her more. he learned to cook, clean, do laundry, wash dishes properly, how to keep the house tidy, and do his school work, and have dinner done in time for his lousy father to get home.

The stress free environment was never stress free however, since his father loved using him and his Mother as his punching bags after a bad day, and everyday was a bad day to that man.Ace swears he put his mother in an early grave, and he was fifteen when he lost the only person to ever protect him, he was fifteen when he vowed to hurt his father for taking away his mother. It was the first time he ever lost someone he truly loved.

Ace was fifteen when Richard joined him at the funeral. It was spring and beautiful, the perfect time for his mother to pass. "You said she always did love spring, now she'll be immortalized in it." Richard told Ace.

"What do you mean?" he croaked out, voice weak from the crying he'd been doing for the past week.

"On you know, every time you think of her, you'll think of spring, and how beautiful it is, and how nice the flowers are....That's what I do when I think of my aunt, the flowers of spring on her grave.." Richard always had a way with words, and the words made Ace cry again, and just as the fresh tears fell from his face and a sob broke out of his mouth and echoed in the still silence of the funeral, you could hear thunder and the sound of rain starting to pour down on the church while Ace wailed his heart out for his Mother. The stormy gloomy weather matching his mood. It was the first time he felt a hole in his heart and wailed until he couldn't talk.

Ace was sixteen when he learned how to replace a razor blade on his shaving razors. Ace learned quick how sharp they are and how you have to be careful with them, or how you can easily hurt yourself by accident on them. He learned that pants covered up bruises and cuts, and during the winter months when he dawns long sleeves for warmth no one questions it.

Ace learned that the thighs were the best and easiest place to cut, and how to pinch the skin. He learned having a scolding hot shower or bath that turned him a pretty pink made him bleed more. He learned the relaxation that would come with hurting himself. He was seventeen when he hurt himself to feel a litlte something. It was the first but not the last time he hurt himself on purpose.

Ace was seventeen when he felt the world collapse beneath him. He was told to get his shit together or it was off to the military with him by his Father's wrathful hands.

He discovered the joys of drinking, and smoking not just a month earlier, along with the joy of cutting and stabbing. He was seventeen when his father broke a bottle over his head and pushed Ace out of the house.

He was seventeen when his father pushed him out of a moving car at night and made Ace limp home.

He was seventeen when Richard found him....crying by the lake, and offered him his hand and a shoulder to cry on.

Ace was seventeen when his father skipped town suddenly, leaving Ace to live home alone, and with his uncle....who ran the junkyard. He was seventeen when he stabbed someone, and did a damn good job of hiding the body.

It was the first time he killed someone, and hopefully the last.

Ace was Eighteen when life got better again. Richard had formed a gang, or as he called it "A group of the local outcast Ace" and outcast they were.

Drinking, stealing, threatening, vandalizing, raising hell and smoking a pack a day nearly. They all got names that weren't their own. Ace was no one, he was John Merrill, but now? Now he was Ace...

He was special, everyone wanted an Ace for a full deck of cards, people would love and adore Ace. He was Ace Merrill, and he kicked Richard off the pedestal of leader and appointed himself the new leader, calling Richar, "Eyeball". Why? His eyes did this adorable twitch, that made Ace chuckle every time he watched his eyes wiffle and droop, twitch and make him shake his head.

He was eighteen when the cobra gang formed. It was the first time he felt alive.

Ace was eighteen again when he got a girlfriend. She only lasted about a month? Maybe two...Ace kept her around as eye candy, she was some cheerleader chick the guys bragged about who gave good favors in return for cigarettes and booz.

She was hung up on Ace like he hung the moon itself but he couldn't stand her in his lap. Or how she giggled, he hated her, she filled him with a blind rage so much so he back handed her in front of everyone one night. Screaming at her to "SHUT YOUR WHORE MOUTH!!" Well she didn't like that and broke up with him, and none of the guys really agreed with it. He didn't care he brushed it off.....

Until Richard pointed it out. "Ace...hey man....your acting like my dad..." His dad, Mr Fucking Chambers....no better than Ace's now dead and gone dad. Ace thinks thats the first time he really truly felt bad for hurting someone, if only due to it concerned tone from Richard.

Ace was on his seventh bottle of beer and nearly done with his pack of cigarettes when he realized how shaky he felt. How he couldn't breath, how the world spinning and seemed loud around him.

How his skin felt tight and how nothing felt like he was really there and living.

The cold air of autumn felt colder than before but welcoming, and he felt hot and sweaty, he fell off the porch steps he was on and stumbled around aimlessly before falling to his knees, unaware and oblivious to his surroundings. Ace could feel himself breathing heavy as his heart pounded in his ears before he felt like he was puking out sobs with how they didn't want to come out.

Gagging and choking on them before he wailed and screamed. He still doesn't know why just that he had clawed at his arms so badly they were red and a few spots bloodied. He remembers the coldness of that night and then the warmth and reassurance of being rocked and soothed. He couldn't breath until later and apologized profusely. It was his first, and not his last breakdown.

It wasn't until the cold harsh winter that would cover the ground in snow rolled around that Ace had to dial a lot of things back and realize a few things. He and the boys....

Didn't ever do anything during winter. Spring thought mid Autumn was their peak rebellion time, of being horrible. Winter? No one wanted to get to wild, they drank more and smoked more, flirted more and went out to diners and stole a bit more on occasion, but mostly it was a "Buckle down for school" time sadly.

Ace...ace wasn't doing good in school. How bad was it? .....He was getting by with the skin of his teeth levels bad. So here he was at the kitchen table, getting tutored from Richard in math and biology.

"So you have reading down, and spelling, history is perfect...Hey you should do that!" Richard was going through the study rubric of what all Ace was good with, so far he sucked ass with math and biology. "Do what?" Ace spoke dryly as he got up for a beer, popping the cap off as it fell onto the counter with a little tink sound.

"Go do something with history! You love the stuff, even when Mrs Johnson says your being a lazy screw off you pop off to her the right stuff! Stuff we never even know about!" Richard had that beautiful warm smile that got Ace to crack a small one before slumping in his chair.

It was the first time he considered life outside of Castlerock.

Winter break rolled around, and ace Somehow passed midterms of "See what you know" with flying colours except in math. His biology improved! But...math still suffered severely he didn't care much though. "So why are you so good with history and reading anyways Ace? Of all the things, i'd always expect you to be bad at those...no offence."

Richard always spoke the truth when it was just the two of them, and while they were once again at Ace's house, this time he was making homemade hot chocolate, yes homemade hot chocolate, for the two of them, it felt...odd. "Hmm? Oh uhhh...mom, she always...She always read big books to me, and would hold me as we listened to those radio dramas you know.." He vaguely explained as he stirred the pot holding the warm coco.

"You never talk about her...she was so sweet, why dont you talk about her Ace?" Richard seemed genuinely curious, and Ace couldn't fault him nor blame him for that. He didn't say anything just poured the hot coco into two mugs for them both, it wasn't until after he poured them he realized it was the quote on quote 'wedding' mugs his mom got for her and his father, back when they were happily married that is.

It was just matching mugs, Something with flowers...If you placed the mugs just so, next to each other it would make a cute heart.

"I just...She was...I just don't like living in the past." He stated. "You barely live in the now Ace...it doesn't hurt to talk about the past I mean..don't you ever wonder where your dad is?" Ace snapped, he didn't even mean to he just did. "HE'S IN THE GROUND WHERE HE BELONGS!" A loud bang on the table, shaking it as some coco swirled, then spilled over the sides, and a choked gasping cry left him as he covered his mouth shaking.

"...John....Hey...I'm sure that's true but...It's okay, he deserves it...come here." Ace wasn't budging and so Richard pulled the chair to him, the sound echoed in the house as it skid across the hardwood floors, and stopped when he was thigh to thigh with Richard. It was the first time he talked about his past, but not the last.

on one of them..his first one, the rest he neglected, or shoved off and away until they left him.

"Yeah im gonna get heeaaad~!!!" This made both of the boys burst into side holding laughter. Barely able to contain themselves from such a shit joke about getting head from some chick. "Okey, okey, really tho...like making out...you gonna kiss her?" Ace got slightly serious after their fit of laughter.

"....Ace I don't know how to kiss a girl.." This took Ace aback. He always thought Richard was more of a ladies man...least he saw him as such. He was handsome, sweet, a bit of well a dick at times but that added to his charm Ace felt. "Oh...that's okey, I haven't either." He foolishly confessed to him.

"You've had more girlfriends than me and haven't even kissed one!! HA! Fucking fairy!" Richard was laughing hysterically again as tears pricked the corners of his eyes. "Hey! Your one to talk! Least I've had some! You barely got the town whore to kiss your cheek! Fucking Jennett McNEeeeerrrr that CUNT what a biitch.." This earned Ace the pleasant sound of Richard wheezing from laughter, and Ace was going him soon after.

"FUuuck mee! Oh Ace...fuck man, uggh...okey...I have an idea though...why not practice on eachother?" Ace burst into more fits of laughter until his eyes fully fell on Richard who seemed dead serious and had that sly grin on his face.

"...Really? Thats faggy.." He stated taking another swig from his bottle. "Yeah, and? You wanna be good at kissing girls? What are you a pansy?" Without a moment's notice Ace took another swig of his drink and launched himself at Richard.

Half on him, half off, hands cupping his face as he pulled him towards him and littered sloppy breathless kisses all over his lips. Richard joined quickly as he dropped his bottle and pushed Ace on the grass cupping the blond's face as he moaned and whined into the kiss. It went on for what felt like hours but it quickly died when they pulled away for air. "You taste really good..." Richard breathed out. "Yeah you too..." Ace returned to him, panting and realizing they had a lot saliva over their lips and face. Seems they were a bit messy with this whole kissing thing.

"Wanna go again?" Richard barely had time to gather himself before Ace was back ontop him kissing him deeply and letting a few giggles escape them both as they started tussling on the grass.

It was a month til Summer, and just four days before Graduation. Ace was sitting in the Principles office, leg bouncing up and down as his right hand covered his mouth, the other held a death grip on his bag.

Something about his grades and passing, he was terrified. He didnt want to be held back again, he dididn'tant to be alone again, he dididn'tant to deal with any of them at all.

"Merrill John? Come here now please" Oh he felt sick, he could feel his lunch wanting to come out the way it went down. He felt sweaty yet was freezing to death, his heart was pounding, and his breaths were severely uneven.

"So John, take a seat," He fell into the chair in the small office. Looking around seeing normal things. Books, files, couple plants, small trinkets, normal office no different than the counsellors. "So You have been doing wonderful in History, as well as English which is good! Your Science/biology has greatly improved to where your passing.....now your math." Oh god.

Oh god no, not the math, it cant be that of all fucking things, MATH!? That will be his downfall he SWEARS! MATH! OF ALL THINGS!!!

"It's still quite low, but the good news is-" He didnt hear the Principle, he already dropped his bag and pulled the trashcan that was in his office to vomit into. Gagging a few time before his lunch came up.

"Christ almighty Merrill! Now! Do you need the nurse before we continue? John! God son calm down, your not failing!! You passed math! The grading period is done! You passed!! Your extra curricular dont count towards graduating calm down!!! Go To the nurse! Take the can with you!!" Ace gave an extremely weak nod before puking again, he couldn't help it sadly. All this stress, all this anxiety and worry came out in the form of him sweating and puking, better than crying and weeping he supposed.

He did get to lay down for a bit in the Nurse's office with an ice pack, so that was nice, and Richard took him out as congratulations for passing math finally.

"Took you til graduation but hey! You made it!!"

He did..he did make it didnt he?

Graduation went as well as anyone could have predicted. Which was shockingly well! Ace wasn't even the trouble maker there! It was some other guy named Adam....who thought it would be funny to steal a few awards and hide them, making everyone sit around for an extra hour.

Ace and Richard didnt mind, sneaking close to eachother to talk and make fun of everyone, already reminiscing about thier prom that they barely attended, and what all they would be doing after graduating.

"thinking about getting a job out of town maybe...or in town and moving one day." Richard told him. "Yeah? sounds good...sounds good..." Ace told him. "What about you Ace?" "Hmmm? Oh uhh...I dont know...maybe work at the mechanics shop for a bit...." He wanted to go with Richard, where he went he wanted to follow, where he would go he wanted to be there with him. Where Richard went he wanted to be there home, to welcome him, or vise vera.

"Im gonna miss our study days.." Ace weakly confessed. "Dont have to! Might go to college and we can help eachother!" Collage...he forgot all about that, college...oh what would he do with College? What would he go to school for.. "Heh..yeah college..yeah...." the conversation ended quickly after as everyone was ushered into the Gymnazium where graduation was being held.

Richard passed with a very high score, all things considered, and Ace passed with an Honors in history and english...

He passed with honours in two of his classes...

The summer was hot as always, even when it was heading back into fall, but while speeding down a strip of the well known and worn path of Castlerock, hte Cobra gang was once again rasing hell for one last time, yelling, screaming, causing hell for one last time.

Why the last time? Well Ace was starting work soon, as was Richard, and they found a college the next town over, offered dormitories, and thier work would be in that town. So this was the last time to raise hell before making the long drives to work and start college.

The summer was full of swimming, fun, fights, more theft, and of course, Richard and Ace being together constantly. That brat of Richard's brother even joined them a few times.

As the day was winding down to a final end, and everyone was dropped off, Richard stuck with Ace walking with him to his house. "So...You wanna admit it?" He asked out of the blue. "Admit what?" Ace sounded confused as he said this. "Admit that your a homo, a fairy like my brother teased you about~" Ace could deal with meny meny things, but Richard getting that chim in his voice? He couldn't ever deal with it. "NO! Im not!! Fucking door won't open!" Ace always fumbled whenever Richard made him flustered, he couldn't help it the guy had him wrapped around him like string.

"Come onnn~ Admit it Acey!" He leaned against the door nearly pinning Ace against the door as he gave him a quick little kiss.

"Im not!!" Ace finally got the door open and rushed inside with Richard following closely behind. "I think you are! We always make out! Kiss! I know you've gotten off to me and well come on what guys moan each others names and give each other hand jobs Ace!?!" Richard had a very valid point to all that..

"Its not! Its! Its not! Not!!! Its only faggy if you fuck another guy!!" Ace was red now. "Oh so you giving me head in the car at lovers peak doesn't mean anything~" Oh he had a point.. "NO! IT! No it doesn't!! You have to...to penetrate them...you know...like with girls.." Ace told him.

"Well i mean...we got time, got all night, next week we start getting ready for collage~ dont see why not...Come onnn John!!" Ace didnt sya anything he just stared at a spot on the floor while leaning up against the wall. He wasn't expecting this tonight.

"I dont know..." He softly spoke out. "I'll be gentle! i wont hurt you!" "Yeah but we dont even know how to do that! Why do you think we've stuck with hand jobs! And Whos gonna penetrate who Dick!" Ace was yelling and more scared and anxious than anything, "How about I take care of you on the bed doll~" "NO! Not tonight no!! fucking goddamn whisky always makes you a horndog!" It didnt take Ace long to march upstairs to his room.

"There's a first for eveything you know Richard..." Ace sighed out and laid by Richard. Both glowing in the aftermath of thier orgasms, thier first, penetrate orgasm at that. "Yeah...yeah there is....fuck..." Ace recovered fairly fast from his orgasm, and was smoking, while Richard laid our catching his breath. "What do you mena theres a first for eveything?" Richard asked him. "Oh you know....first time to fall, first time to hurt yourself, first time to....lose someone..first time to...smoke, to drink, to nearly drown, to kill, to...to everything." He had a sour taste in his mouth suddenly. "First time to love~ First time to fall in love and last time, first time to kiss the most handsome guy in all of Castlerock, first time to moan your name and you mine, first time to go on a date, first time to cuddle~" Richard was curling up on Ace dragging him down to get him to go to bed with him and put his cigarette out.

Ace gave in and put it out before cosying up against Richard in the bed.

There really was a first for everything wasn't there?

#stand by me #ace merrill #stand by me fanfic #ace merrill fanfic #fic #ace x eyeballs #ace x richard #i dont remember their weirdly cutesy shipname....#not beta read at alllll #kiefer fans come get yalls JUICE #kiefer sutherland #i want this fic SEEN DAMNIT #fact! ace merrils name is john...and he was only 16 when he tormented the bkys in the film!! i had lkts to do and go off of✨️✨️

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limjaebom · 3 years

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#the worst part about having adhd and memory loss is that I could not remember got7 new song I was #trying so hard to remember fir the life of me I tried to think of with stuff on my own that would help #but nothing worked my brain was trying so hard it is so frustrating forgetting everything i be trying hard to remember me little brainy #is just so damaged #the smallest most specific moments I will remember sometimes tho so what’s up with that doc #like how jb got a cut on his wrist from wearing Bams watch ljke reallt #really

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yellowsuitcase · 3 years

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Pansy’s Plot // Draco Malfoy

Request: hi there!! I just wanted to say i absolutely adore your writing, and was wondering if you could write something where the reader and draco are dating but pansy is jealous so she lies and makes draco think you cheated on him but in actual fact you didnt and it’s just super angsty and then fluffy. The prompts i chose were 94, 85, 55, 14, 1 and 34 of course i don’t mind at all if you don’t want to use them or leave a few out :)

A/N: Hello! Sorry this took so long to get written, but I wanted to make sure it was good so I took my time. Also, my arthritis was making writing a very painful process, with that being said, I likely won’t post anything else this week until the weekend because I need to rest my hand. But I hope you enjoy this and to the person who requested, I hope it’s everything you wanted! Side note, I did change some of the prompts to fit the story and I didn’t use 55.

Summary: Pansy tricks Draco into believing his girlfriend (Y/N) cheated on him with Blaise. Angst and fluff follow.

Warning(s): Swearing, physical beating up/hitting, non-consensual kissing/touching

Word Count: 4.6k

Prompts (list): 1, 14, 34, 85, 99

Y/N trudged into the Great Hall, looking miserable. She’d just had the worst potions class of her life. Snape had been teaching them how to make a memory potion, but she had mistakenly added the powdered sage before the stewed mandrake, causing the brew to bubble violently and splatter her Slytherin robes with putrid yellow liquid. It didn’t help that along with having unflattering stains, she now smelled like rotten roses.

As she dragged herself to the Slytherin table, she felt stares on the back of her head. She rolled her eyes and positioned her chin over her shoulder, instantly zeroing in on the Ravenclaw boy who was pointing his thumb at her and laughing with his mates. With a discreet flick of her fir wood wand, Y/N sent the boy’s noodles flying onto his face with a loud splat. She smirked to herself while tucking her wand back into her pocket. She continued walking and took her place at the table next to her boyfriend.

“Hello, Draco,” she said sweetly as she plopped down onto the bench. Her boyfriend looked up from his meal.

“Bloody hell, Y/N. Where have you been? And what happened to you?” he asked, his face scrunching up in disgust. It took everything in his willpower not to slide away from his potion covered girlfriend.

“Sorry, I’m a bit late. I fucked up in potions. Don’t worry, though, I’ll get cleaned up after I have my lunch. Besides, I hardly see you anymore with O.W.Ls coming up. I didn’t want to skip out on you,” she explained, shifting her gaze from the food in front of her to Draco's distasteful looking face.

“What, Malfoy? You don’t like the smell of a failed memory potion?” she questioned while playfully leaning closer to him. Draco couldn’t take it anymore; he scrambled to scoot away from her. This made Y/N begin to giggle. She pushed her head behind her ear and batted her eyelids mockingly.

“Why won’t you give me a kiss, love?” she asked with pouty lips, her hands making grabbing motions at the blonde boy. He opened his mouth to speak but was promptly interrupted by a snooty voice from across the table.

“Perhaps it’s because you smell worse than a dirty house-elf, Y/N,” sneered Pansy Parkinson, a dark-haired Slytherin girl who was particularly nasty. Draco watched as Y/N’s back straightened, and her angry eyes flickered to the hard-faced girl. He knew this look well, considering she’d given it to him quite a few times throughout their two-year relationship. If it had been anyone else receiving Y/N’s glare, he might’ve felt a bit scared for them. But this was Pansy, and not many were fond of her.

“I don’t remember asking for your opinion, Parkinson. But please, by all means, let’s hear your thoughts. Frankly, I didn’t think you had any up in that empty head of yours,” Y/N retorted, her voice calm and collected. Pansy’s face went redder than a tomato. She angrily stood up from her seat, leaving her untouched sandwich sitting on the table as she stormed out of the hall, her hair swishing behind her.

Y/N scoffed. “What a wanker. Honestly, hasn’t she got anything better to do?” she questioned, voicing her irritation. Draco slid close to his girlfriend and gently put his hands on her shoulders, rubbing them firmly. He felt the tension begin to leave her muscles.

“Don’t let her get to you, love. It’s only Parkinson. Since when did you get so worked up over what she says?” Draco asked.

Y/N remained silent. Truth be told, Pansy had been tormenting her for nearly a month now. Her usual snide remarks had never caused much of a ruse within Y/N before, but that was until she’d started attacking her and Draco’s relationship. Whenever Y/N would say goodnight to Draco and head up to the girls’ dormitory, she would be greeted by Pansy sitting next to her snotty friends. They’d sit on their beds and snicker when Y/N walked in. They’d always say things like, “You know, Draco only likes you because you’re easy,” or “He pities you, Y/N.” Not to mention all the times they'd called her a slag. At first, she was able to ignore it. But after numerous weeks of hearing such degrading and hurtful words, she’d begun to believe them.

Telling Draco wasn’t an option. Y/N was ashamed; she didn’t want Draco to be disappointed in her for letting Pansy get to her. The look on his face if she told him would be too much to stomach.

“Y/N? What’s wrong, babydoll?” Draco asked. His girlfriend’s silence was concerning him. Y/N turned to him and forced a smile onto her lips. “Nothing,” she assured him, “I’m fine.”

Draco looked skeptical but dismissed his worry and leaned in for a quick kiss. Y/N kissed him back, but after a few moments, she pulled away. “I’d better go get cleaned up before Transfiguration. McGonagall wouldn’t be pleased if I came in like this,” she laughed while gesturing to her soiled uniform. Draco smiled and nodded.

“I’ll see you in the common room after dinner, yeah?” he asked as Y/N stood up from the table and pushed her hair out of her face. She willed herself to look up and shake her head, yes. Her boyfriend still looked apprehensive. “See you then,” she choked out as she spun on her foot and made haste to leave the Great Hall.

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Later in the school day, Y/N was leaving her last class, Herbology, and was walking through the mysteriously empty corridors, the thought of a relaxing bath filling her head, when she ran smack into someone. She nearly toppled over from the impact, but the person she’d bumped into quickly seized her arm and pulled her close to their chest. Y/N instantly felt uncomfortable and pushed herself off of the tall figure. Upon looking up, she saw that Blaise Zabini had been the one to save her ass from hitting the floor. She’d never been one to forgo manners as many other Slytherins did, so she nodded her head and said, “Thanks, Zabini.”

He smirked down at her, his white teeth showing. “No problem, sweetheart,” he purred. A cold shudder ran down Y/N’s spine. She didn’t like this situation one bit; however, when she tried to distance herself and Blaise, he grabbed her upper arm and tugged her towards him. She found herself once again pressed up against the boy’s chest.

“Where you going, babydoll?” he asked. Bile rose up from Y/N’s stomach. When Draco called her babydoll, it was cute, but when the word fell from Blaise’s lips, she felt thoroughly sick. She wiggled her arm, trying desperately to remove it from his grasp. But it was to no avail. His fingers were wrapped around her bicep so firmly she could practically feel the bruises beginning to form.

Y/N continued to struggle against him. “Let go of me, you prat,” she grunted. Blaise didn't heed her words; instead, he stared at something behind her. Y/N looked over her shoulder, but before she had the chance to register who was there, Blaise took her chin in his fingers and forced his lips onto hers. Y/N squealed in shock and tried to use her free arm to push Blaise off. She felt fear overtake her entire body as she fought hard to get out of his clutches. But the boy was too powerful. Luckily for Y/N, she remembered what her father had always told her to do if a male ever tried to violate her. Hit him where it hurts. Without a moment's hesitation, she lifted her foot and rammed her knee into Blaise’s crotch with as much force as she could muster.

He grunted painfully and instantly let go of her, his hands flying to protect his private parts from any further harm. “Fucking bitch!” he yelled. Y/N backed away from him in fear. She was about to run away when she remembered that he had been staring behind her. Y/N turned around to see Pansy holding a camera in one hand and fresh pictures in the other. Her heart raced when she put two and two together. She’d been set up, and she was angry. Y/N whipped out her wand and pointed it at Pansy's head. Wordlessly, she sent the camera and pictures flying from her grasp and into her own. This didn’t please the Slytherin, who took out her own wand and angrily shouted, “Flipendo!” Before Y/N could react, she was sent flying backward, letting the camera and pictures fall from her hands.

When she fell, her head hit the floor hard enough that it bounced. She stayed still as pain pulsed through her entire skull. As she was recovering from the intense blow, Pansy strutted over to her. She laughed as she stood over her and glared down. “Look at you—what a pathetic excuse for a Slytherin. Can’t even properly defend yourself,” she sneered. Y/N, fueled by anger, jumped to her feet and shouted the first spell that came to mind without thinking. “Incarcerous!” Ropes shot from the tip of her wand and wrapped around Pansy’s chest and arms, rendering her defenseless and immobile. Adrenaline was still rushing in her bloodstream when a deep voice called out to her.

“Miss Y/L/N,” it bellowed. Y/N’s heart sank; she recognized that voice to be Severus Snape’s. Sighing, she tucked her wand into her robe and glanced to her left to see the greasy-haired professor. His robe was flowing behind him as he walked rapidly towards her. “Detention,” he declared. Y/N knew better than to argue; the last time she tried, she’d only earned herself another week of writing lines in Snape’s office. After nodding to her potions professor, she turned to go but then spotted the camera. It was in Blaise’s hands. He simply smirked at her and sauntered away.

No, no, no, Y/N thought as her heart sank. She felt as though she was rooted to the stone floor. It was obvious what Pansy and Blaise were planning to do with those photos. They had thought this out; they were going to show them to Draco. After she realized the shit she was in, Y/N knew there was only one thing she could do at this point. Get to Draco before they did.

She bent her knees and took off sprinting through the hallway, determination pumping through her body. But she was stopped short by the sound of her name coming from Snape. Reluctantly and defeatedly, she willed her feet to slow down. “Where do you think you’re going, young lady?” Snape called out to her. Y/N spun around slowly, a grimace plastered to her face. “My dorm,” she said uncertainly; her statement sounded more like a question.

Snape raised an eyebrow. “You’ll be coming with me to my office to serve your detention.” Y/N grumbled to herself angrily. She still couldn’t understand why Snape was never as nice to her as he was towards the rest of the Slytherin house. Y/N watched as Snape freed Pansy from her restraints. She got to her feet and thanked her head of house before strolling down the corridor, making sure to leer at Y/N when she passed. The urge to sock her in the jaw was strong, but Y/N refrained and followed after Snape, hoping to get detention over with as soon as possible.

--------

Draco was fiddling with a stray thread on his sweater when Pansy sat down next to him. He gave her a look. Pansy had a devilish smirk on her face. “Hello, Draco,” she cooed. The blonde shifted his weight so that he was farther away from Pansy. “What do you want?” he questioned. “I’m waiting for Y/N.”

Pansy’s head fell back as she let out a shrill laugh. “You won’t give a damn about her once you see this,” she declared cheerfully. Draco looked at her quizzically. “See what?” he hesitantly asked. Pansy wiggled her eyebrows and reached into her pocket. Slowly, she pulled out two pictures and passed one to Draco. His eyes studied her face before they downshifted to the photo in his lap. Draco’s confusion only grew when he saw what the picture was showing. Y/N and Blaise were pressed up against one another. Her hand was touching his chest, and he was caressing her cheek.

“What the fuck is this, Parkinson?” Draco spat violently. Pansy said nothing; she only handed him the second photo. Draco snatched it from her; his breathing stopped when he looked at it. It was a photo of them kissing. Blaise and Y/N had kissed. Draco felt betrayed, deceived, hoodwinked, you name it, he felt it. Questions began to flood his brain. How could she do this? How long had she been seeing Blaise? Was he not good enough for her? Had he done something to upset her? Panic began to rise within Draco.

“She’s been cheating on you for quite some time, Draco. I was going to tell you sooner, but I knew you wouldn’t believe me without proof,” Pansy said sweetly. She tentatively put her hand on Draco’s shoulder and began to rub up and down soothingly. He barely registered her touch as his world began to crumble. His heart was totally and utterly broken. He couldn’t think he couldn’t breathe. Nothing made sense to him at that moment.

“This must be so hard for you, Draco. I’m so sorry. But look on the bright side, now you can get rid of her. You have proof that she cheated. There’s no way she can deny what she did,” Pansy said a little too excitedly. But Draco paid her no mind; his eyes still hadn’t moved from the photographs in his palms.

“Where is she?” he asked through gritted teeth. Pansy sighed dejectedly. “Well, she attacked me in the hallway, but Snape caught her. I suspect she’s still in detention, but—” Pansy was cut off by Draco springing to his feet, the photos in his tight grip. “Where are you going?” she asked him; he was at the door. Without looking back, he said, “To find her.”

“Draco! Wait!” Pansy exclaimed, but Draco was already gone.

Snape’s office wasn’t far; it was in the dungeons along with the Slytherin common room and potions classroom. Draco’s heart was racing as he stormed through the hallways. He had no plan of action; he just knew he had to find her. Millions of possibilities ran through his head, but he didn't stop to ponder any of them. He rounded a corner and felt his breath catch in his throat. There she was. She looked distraught. When her eyes found Draco, she walked towards him immediately. Draco didn’t move from his spot. He let her come to him. When she reached him, she stared at him intently. A few moments of heavy silence passed before she decided to test the waters. “Draco?” she asked hesitantly.

“How long?” he retorted.

“How long? What do you mean?”

“Don’t play fucking dumb, Y/N. How long have you and Blaise been together, huh?”

Y/N’s face paled. “Draco, it is not what it looks like. Whatever Pansy told you isn’t true.”

Draco laughed. “She didn’t tell me. She showed me,” he replied in a strangely calm voice. Y/N felt tears spring to her eyes as Draco harshly shoved the photographs into her hands. She reluctantly looked down at the images of her and Blaise. She knew it looked terrible, but she was determined to make Draco believe her.

“What do you have to say for yourself? I mean, seriously, was I not good enough for you? Is that it?” Draco asked. Hurt was audible in his voice.

Y/N felt her heart shatter. “Draco, don’t talk like that, of course, you’re good enough for me. You’re more than enough. Please, you have to trust me, you have to believe me. I would never cheat on you; they set me up.” Y/N pleaded. Her eyes were wide with fear.

Draco scoffed and shook his head in disbelief. “Don’t lie to me, don’t make up stories. You cheated, and you didn’t care about the repercussions. Did you ever care? Was I just a game, just a toy for you?” He asked, his voice cracking.

“Of course I cared about you, Draco, I still do. I never fucking stopped caring about you... About us. Draco, I love you, please believe me, please let me explain,” she begged. But Draco wasn’t having it. He took a step backward; she took one forward. Draco clenched his fists. “Get away from me. We’re done.”

Y/N began to panic. “No, no, Draco, listen to me. Please don’t leave, please—”

“Shut up. Shut the fuck up! I don’t give a damn what you have to say. I don’t want to hear from you again, I don’t want to look at you. Do you understand me? Stay the fuck away from me,” Draco commanded. He continued backing up. This time, Y/N stayed put. Tears fell from her cheeks as she watched her lover leave. She felt her legs begin to tremble. She couldn't believe this was happening. It had only been a few hours ago that she had given him a good morning kiss. How had they ended up in this situation so fast? Her legs continued to shake, and eventually, she collapsed onto the cold floor. Sobs racked her body.

-----------

A few weeks later, Draco was sitting in his usual spot in the Great Hall. In Y/N’s place, however, sat Pansy. She was leaning on her hand and gazing at Draco mindlessly. Truth be told, it made Draco a bit uncomfortable. But he did his best to ignore her as he finished up his supper. The past week had been extremely hard for him. He’d hardly gotten any sleep due to the fact all he could think about was Y/N. The look on her face when he’d ended things was burned into his mind. She’d looked so heartbroken, almost as if she was the one who was hurting. Draco knew better than that; he knew he was the one who’d been deceived. He was the one who’d been cheated on, for crying out loud. If anyone was hurting, it was him.

Every time he saw an orange, her favorite fruit, he’d feel his heart clench. Whenever he’d pass the astronomy tower, he’d be reminded of all their time spent up there. The worst, however, was seeing her in the hallways. It hurt beyond belief to see her with Blaise. It just so happened that every time Draco saw them, Blaise's arm was around her waist. It made him sick to his stomach.

“You feeling alright, Dray?” Pansy inquired, pulling Draco out of his thoughts. He nodded and continued to pick at his shepherd's pie. “You don’t look, alright,” Pansy pushed further. Draco slammed his fist onto the table, making some fellow Slytherins irritated. He ignored them and glared at the girl next to him. “I found out a week ago that my girlfriend of two years has been cheating on me. Sorry, I’m not my usual fucking self,” he snapped. Pansy looked disturbed by his angry outburst and decided to remain silent for the rest of their meal.

Draco remained quiet as well; he didn’t like talking anymore. Hell, he didn’t like doing anything anymore. He felt so empty without her. She gave his life joy. Bullying first years and Harry Potter wasn’t the most fulfilling activity, neither was burying himself in his studies. But when Y/N was present, he was happy; he was important. Without her, he felt worthless.

Just then, Draco noticed the couple themselves walking towards the doors of the Great Hall. Blaise’s hand was wrapped around Y/N's arm. She looked a bit disgruntled. When the pair passed Draco and Pansy, Y/N made eye contact with the blonde boy. Her eyes seemed sad, pleading almost. This intrigued Draco more than he cared to admit. He watched them leave, waited a few seconds, then stood up from his seat.

“Draco, where are you going? You haven’t finished your dinner,” Pansy whined. He chose to ignore her and follow after his former lover instead.

When he walked through the doors, he headed for the stairs to the dungeons. He knew Y/N would always go straight to the common room after dinner; he could only hope that was still true. Draco could hear his heartbeat in his ears as he raced down the stone steps. He wasn’t quite sure what had possessed him to follow after the girl who cheated on him, but there he was running after her.

When he got to the bottom of the staircase, he became acutely aware of the lack of people in the Hogwarts basement. Usually, Slytherins would be lurking around every corner, but not tonight. It was too quiet for Draco's liking. He willed himself to calm down. Once he did, he heard the sound of hushed voices coming from his right. He quietly hastened down the dark corridor until he came to the end of it. “Leave me alone,” a familiar voice said. Draco knew it was Y/N, he felt his heart jump upon hearing her, but He stayed hidden behind a wall and urged himself to open his ears to the conversation around the corner.

“You and Parkinson have already ruined my relationship. Can’t you just leave me be now? I thought you were just helping her get those photos; why are you still bothering me?” Y/N asked. She sounded exasperated.

“Pansy did pay me well for those pictures, but I’m afraid I’ve taken a liking to you, sweetheart. You’re just too pretty to pass up.”

After a few beats, Y/N replied with a quiet, “Don’t touch me.” Anger began to boil within Draco, but he didn’t let his presence be known just yet. He wanted to continue eavesdropping on their conversation.

“What’s wrong, babydoll? Don’t like me?” Blaise asked tauntingly. Draco clenched his fists in an attempt to control his anger. But he knew it was only a matter of time before he lost his temper.

“Well, no shit Zabini. You fucking assaulted me and—” Y/N was cut off by a loud slap. This set Draco off; he launched himself off the wall and rounded the corner, wand out, and raised. Y/N and Blaise were shocked to see him here, but Blaise quickly masked his surprise and put his hands behind his back.

“Ah, Malfoy. Fancy seeing you here,” he said. Draco stormed up to him and pressed the tip of his wand to Blaise’s throat. He withdrew his hands slowly while staring at the wand, fear in his eyes. “Hey man, what the fuck are you doing?” he asked in a wavery voice.

“Did you hit her?” Draco asked. His voice was dark, his pupils were tiny as he glared at Blaise. The tall boy didn’t reply. Draco pressed his wand further into his neck. “Look at her, Zabini. Her cheek is burning red; I know you see it. So let me ask you again, did you fucking hit her? And don’t lie to me, you piece of shit.” Draco seethed. Y/N watched the exchange between the boys with terror on her face. She felt anything but safe.

Blaise gulped. “She was acting like a bitch,” he shrugged. Draco didn’t hesitate. “Petrificus Totalus!” Blaise fell backward onto the floor with a loud thud; he was now frozen. Draco stood over him, steaming as he tucked his wand into his pocket and reeled back his fist. “Draco, no!” Y/N yelled. But Draco was blind with rage. He rammed his fist into Blaise’s cheek. Y/N cried out for him to stop, but he hit him again and again. Blaise didn't make a peep as he was forced to endure Draco's brutal punches. Y/N looked on with tears streaming down her face. She didn’t try to stop him for fear he would turn on her.

Once Draco was satisfied with the pulp he had beat Balise into, he released him from his invisible bonds. The boy scrambled to his feet and ran off to the Slytherin common room, not wanting to test Draco’s patience any further. Draco watched him go as he examined the blood on his knuckles. At last, he and Y/N were alone. The blonde boy turned to Y/N. His stomach dropped when he saw her tear stricken face. Her eyes were filled with fear as she peered up at him from her spot on the floor. Draco hesitantly crouched down.

“Y/N… it’s okay. I’m not gonna hurt you,” he said softly. Y/N began to cry even more. Draco felt his stomach churn with regret, and he opened his mouth to speak but was interrupted by Y/N.

“I didn’t cheat o-on you. Parkinson pu-put Zabini up to it. I didn’t kiss him willingly,” she stuttered, her body still rocking with sobs. Draco felt like a complete arsehole. He should've just let her explain that night. If he would've only heard her out, they could've avoided all of this.

Draco gently reached out his hand and waited until Y/N placed hers on top of it. He intertwined his fingers with hers. The warmth from her touch was a stark contrast to the icy feeling of his. He pulled her hand close and softly kissed it. “I believe you, love. I’m sorry I didn’t before, but I do now. Please forgive me.”

Y/N rubbed her nose and gradually opened her arms. Draco pulled her into a much-needed hug. He pressed his face into her shoulder and relished in the feeling of her arms around his. Even though it had only been a week, it had felt much longer. So to finally be back in each other’s embrace was like a breath of fresh air.

When they pulled away, Draco caressed her face and, with his thumb, began to wipe the tears from her soft cheeks. He noticed the fading red mark from Blaise’s slap, and he felt his fury begin to return. But Y/N saw this right away. She put her own hands on Draco’s face, forcing him to look her in the eyes. “I’m okay, just a little spooked is all,” she assured him. Draco saw right through her just like she’d seen through him. He knew she was terrified.

“You don’t have to put on a brave face for me, love. You’ve been hurt in so many ways, and I am so sorry. But I’m here now, and I promise you, nobody is going to lay another hand on you, okay? I’ve got you if you'll have me,” Draco said. Y/N smiled and pressed her forehead to his. They remained that way for a few moments before Draco pulled her into his lap. He stroked her hair comfortingly and began to rock her back and forth, calming her remaining tears.

After a few minutes of this, Y/N turned around in Draco’s grasp. She smiled and reached up to push his hair out of his face. Usually, it would be clean-cut and uniform, but that night’s events had turned it into a messy mop. She chuckled to herself, causing Draco to look at her quizzically. “What?” he asked. Y/N tilted her head and pursed her lips. “You’re just too cute, is all.”

Draco felt blush rush to his cheeks; he buried his face in Y/N’s shoulder yet again. She simply hummed contentedly and pressed a kiss to his head. “I missed you,” she mumbled. Draco lifted his head and placed a tender kiss on her lips. “I missed you too, my lovely.”

“Please don’t break up with me again. I was so sad,” Y/N said with pouty lips. Oh, how Draco had missed those. He leaned in for another kiss. “Don’t worry, I was really lonely without you. You’re stuck with me for the foreseeable future,” Draco declared. Y/N giggled. “Good,” she replied.

And suddenly...everything was okay again.

#Draco Malfoy #draco lucius malfoy #draco fanfiction #draco malfoy x yn #Draco #draco malfoy imagines #draco malfoy x reader #draco malfoy x you #request #jealousy #pansy parkinson #Blaise Zabini #severus snape #professor snape #draco fluff #draco malfoy fluff #angst #draco malfoy angst

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connor-sent-by-cyberlife · 2 years

Text

Thanks to all who supported my Convin Demon/Priest AU lately. Your positive feedback means so much to me, you've no idea! I know this sort of AU is kind of a very special niche interest, therefore I appreciate every single comment and reblog even more. Be sure I read all of your tags, always!

I felt so inpired by this AU that I actually wrote a little drabble about how it all began. I haven't really written anything in ages, so this is kind of a big deal for me, even though the drabble is less than 1000 words long.

I hope you like it! Let me know what you think and if you'd be interested in reading more.

Please keep in mind: This is not beta-read and English isn't my first language :P.

And at last: This AU wouldn't exist without @lemonowl900's amazing Convin Demon/Priest art which started it all.

----------------------

A 30 minutes walk from the house I lived in back then, hidden from and forgotten by the world between fir trees, the ruin of an ancient abbey could be found. High arches made of stone, broken in some places, but still strongly and proudly fighting their fight against time. It was a beautiful spot and when I look back it was the one where I felt the closest to God. When the sunrays found their way through the branches to shine through the remains of old ornaments carved by human hands so long ago, it was heavenly and peaceful, oh, so peaceful to just sit there. Sometimes I prayed, sometimes I got lost in thoughts. I spent hours and hours there all on my own, but never felt lonely a single second.I was at peace with myself and the world. On bad days though everything was different between these silent walls of stone. The things I longed to forget, the ones I tried to hide from myself so desperately came back to me then and loneliness crept under my skin like the cold on a winter's morning. And it was on one of those days when I first saw him...

I still remember the smell of the wet forest the rain of the past afternoon had left.

“Does God ever answer?” he asked curiously, his voice like honey on a tongue that had never tasted anything sweet before.

I had never met anyone during my stays at this long forgotten place. Fully immersed into my praying, searching forgiveness for my sinful thoughts, I almost jumped out of my skin. I got back on my feet - so fast I felt dizzy for a few seconds - and turned around myself two times trying to find the source of the voice. At first, I didn't trust my own eyes. I remember it was foggy that day and already starting to darken. And there was a shadow between the ancient pillars and the trunks of the trees, hard to distinguish from those until it started to walk towards me. Slowly, gracefully and threatening at the same time like a beautiful predator. All my survival instincts were on alert from one second to another and yet I didn't run away. I'm not sure if I was just unable to move or if it was a strange kind of curiosity, fascination even, that kept me there. He - it (I know while I write these sentences I will continue to switch between he and it when I talk about him, I was never able to grasp him completely) stepped out of the shadows, fully naked except for a maple leaf that covered its genitals, tall and lanky, head crowned by two big horns. A tail with an arrowhead-like ending moved like a hypnotizing snake behind its body. A creature I had feared all my life. A personification of evil already my strictly religious parents had warned me of when I was a little boy.

I wanted to ask who he was, what he was doing here, but I couldn't find my voice. And my heart was pounding so loudly, it would've probably swallowed any other sound anyway. The distance between the creature and me shrank since it continued walking towards me. I started to stumble backwards, until a solid wall stopped me. Trapped, I thought, feeling panic crawling up my throat. But as if it sensed my fear it suddenly stood still. It crooked its horned head and watched me attentively. I can't say how much time passed - me trying to find a way to win over the laws of physics and simply disappear through the stone and the...demon - even today I've difficulties to use this word - studying me as if I were a vulnerable and lost soul that deserved nothing but pity.

“Do not be afraid, mortal! I have not come to harm you.” his voice was so alluring that I wanted nothing but to believe his forked tongue.

Desperately, I fought to get my rapid breathing under control again, so I could eventually try to form some words. It took me an entire eternity - or at least it felt like that, until I managed to stutter a question.

“T-Then, then why did you come?”

Without warning his mouth turned into grin that made the blood in my veins freeze to ice. Devilish yet irresistible. It didn't took my fear away, far the opposite, but it somehow killed my flight instinct. I stopped trying to push the wall behind me away so I could run, when the creature started moving again. Slowly, its hands risen in a gesture commonly used to signalize defenselessness to allow me to lull myself into a false sense of security. And before I knew it the creature had cornered me between its arms against the cold stone behind me. Its eyes were black surrounded by an ominous red which made me think of blood. They looked into mine, directly to the bottom of my soul, digging for and finding all the sinful secrets I hid from the world. And I couldn't help but stare back, held captive, frozen in place, troubled by all the conflicting feelings that crashed down on me in this very moment. He bent his arms to lean even closer, until his mouth was right next to my ear. I could feel his hot breath against my skin, before he whispered the words that implied the promise of a forbidden sin.

“I have come to set you free, Gavin.”

(click for better quality)

³ᵈ ᵇᵃˢᵉ ᶠᶤᵍᵘʳᵉ ᵘˢᵉᵈ ᶠᵒʳ ᶜᵒᶰᶰᵒʳ ᵇʸ ˡᵉˣᵃᵏᶤᶰᵉˢˢ ᵒᶰ ʳᵉᶰᵈᵉʳᵒˢᶤᵗʸ

³ᵈ ᵇᵃˢᵉ ᶠᶤᵍᵘʳᵉ ᵘˢᵉᵈ ᶠᵒʳ ᵍᵃᵛᶤᶰ ᵇʸ ʳᵉᵈᶻˢᵗᵘᵈᶤᵒ ᵒᶰ ᵈᵃᶻ³ᵈ

#Convin #Reed800 #dbh connor #dbh gavin reed #gavin x connor #au #demon/priest au #detroit become human #dbh fanfiction #my writing #gavnor #demon!connor #priest!gavin #tw religion #tw religious themes #connor-sent-by-cyberlife

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ghost-of-you · 2 years

Text

saw ur mom at the grocery store - ch

Paring: Calum Hood x Original Female Character.

Warnings: General angst and drinking

Word Count: 3k

Authors note: who am I writing a one shot that stays a one shot???? Anyway, this is based on the song saw ur mom at the grocery store by Abby Cates (youtube spotify). I listened to it and I couldn't get this concept out of my head. It's pretty much drunk dialing Calum (the ex) after running into his mom lol. Shout out to @villainorigincal for reading it over for me, ily Blanca 💜💜💜💜. Oh, Italics are flashback because I guess that's my brand in writing oaskdoaksoaks

My Masterlist

_______

Erin is too distracted by both the podcast blasting in her ears and the quest she has given herself of finding the correct ice cream flavor to be aware of her surroundings. So she doesn't notice the woman eyeing her nor her slowly approaching, gently touching her arm to get her attention until she's right there. She tries not to look too startled as she pulls her headphones down as she's suddenly faced with the last person she'd thought she'd run into in the stupid supermarket.

"Joy!" Erin greets, the need to be polite taking over, as she ignores the fact that she wants the ground to swallow her whole.

"Erin, sweetie, I thought it was you," Joy smiles kindly, probably completely unaware of how much seeing that smile hurt. She looks so much like Calum at that moment, same eyes, same smile. Maybe the correct thought would be that Calum looks so much like her. Erin hadn't allowed herself to think about him in months, not that it really matters, he's tangled in a mess of feelings that tugged her all around. Anger. Sadness. Hope. But right now, looking at the woman who has eyes the exact same shade of brown as his, it feels like she grabbed the love thread and yanked it to the forefront of her mind. "How have you been?"

"I'm great," Erin lies, "I've been really busy." That part is true. How else do you get over the love of your life walking away from you after two years if not by burying yourself into mountains of distractions so you don't have to think about it? It's definitely not healthy, but it was the only way she could cope. "How are you?"

"I'm great! I'm happy I finally got to visit again," she continues to smile and Erin can't help the smile on her face.

"I bet he's happy you're here," she says, almost without thinking. She used to tease Calum all the time about how much of a momma's boy he is but she loves that about him. Wait, turn around, she can't let herself think about him. Or talk about him. "How's-" she clears her throat, "how's Mali?"

"She's good, Calum too, really busy, so I'm just making sure he has everything he needs at home," she motions at the full cart she's pushing around. The smile in Erin's face gets harder to maintain when she hears his name, and she can't think of what to say, but Joy seems to completely miss that, "I'm gonna finish this and let you get back to your shopping. But it was great to see you, I've missed you, I wish we got to see you more," she adds, and Erin nods.

"Yeah, I missed you too, I'm happy I got to see you," she says, trying to ignore how her chest feels like it's about to split in half. They bid their goodbyes and Erin is left staring at the freezer beside her.

"Yeah, there's no way ice cream will be enough today," she mumbles to herself, grabbing the carton and moving blindly around the aisles. She contemplates a bottle of wine before shaking her head and reaching for the vodka on the shelf beside it.

She goes through checkout in a haze, trying not to think too hard about anything and it isn't until she closes the door to her car, left alone in the silence, that she lets her thoughts flow back to Calum.

Maybe let it's the wrong word. She can't get in the car without thinking of him, the empty space in the dashboard that used to hold her radio screaming at her about him just as much as the empty passenger seat. She remembers pulling at a stop and basically clawing the radio out of the car the first time one of his songs came on while she was driving after the breakup and she didn't have the heart to get a new one. Music is so tied to him, she can't listen to it anymore. It was nearly impossible to not let the memories drown her when any song was playing.

Erin's gaze kept moving from the road to Calum, the windows down, the road speeding by them, the wind blowing through her hair, and Calum's voice harmonizing with the radio making her sure there would never be somewhere where she would ever feel happier.

His hand was resting in her thigh, his fingers tapping to the beat and he was singing melody, harmonies, and instruments making her laugh while badly following, too distracted by him to put any effort into sounding good. When the song ended he leaned closer to her, whispering “I love you” and kissing her cheek. At that moment she couldn’t imagine loving anyone more.

She tries to ignore the empty space next to her, focusing on streets that blend together as the memories continue to try and take over as she fights the urge to start screaming. I don’t miss him. I don’t miss him. I don’t miss him. She chants to herself, halfheartedly hoping if she repeats it enough it will eventually stop being a lie.

Walking into her house is just as hard, the ghost of him standing by the front door, sleeping on the couch, walking through the halls, making the place feel haunted. She drops her bags by the counter, moving to get a mug and a spoon, before popping the ice cream open, scooping it to the mug before pouring a few shots on top of it, sitting down by the counter while mixing the mess in her hands.

There was flour everywhere. There was enough flour floating around that even the top of Calum’s hair had a thin white layer over it.

“Baby, you’re making a mess,” she laughed as she walked into the kitchen, leaning against the doorway to look at him.

“No, I’m making you breakfast,” he said, pointing at her with the whisk in his hand.

“Those statements are not mutually exclusive,” she teased, moving closer to him, wrapping her arms around his middle and leaning against his back, her head on his arm.

“It’s just a little flour,” he said, turning to kiss the top of her head, making her chuckle.

“A little?” She said, kissing his shoulder and moving to his side, rolling the sleeves of the hoodie, Calum’s hoodie, she was wearing, “how can I help?” She asked and he gave a grin.

“I’ve got it covered.”

“Yeah, in flour,” she laughed and he pouted, dipping his finger into the batter and splattering it across her nose.

She’s definitely in for a bad night, she thinks as she moves blindly around the house. She had tried meditation in the days when her mind was too loud to exist in but at the moment the silence was too deafening. Maybe that’s why she ends up sitting on the floor of her closet, after pushing boxes around until she finds the right one, the one with everything he left behind, the almost empty mug beside her as she stares at the framed picture in her hands.

“Can you just stop moving, please?” Erin pouted, turning to look up at Calum through her lashes, hoping he would just indulge her for once.

“Why?” He sounded annoyed, but he was looking fondly at her.

“I want pictures,” she complained and he chuckled.

“You have pictures.”

“I have pictures of you, I want pictures with you, so I don’t look like a crazy fan or whatever.”

“Fans get pictures with us too,” he shrugged and she groaned.

“I hate you.”

“You love me,” he teased, pulling her phone out of her hands, and her against his chest, kissing her cheek while taking a picture.

Looking at the photo she honestly can’t figure out how they got to where they are. How did they get there? How did they get to screaming in the middle of the night and him walking out the door without ever looking back? Also, how did she manage to go this long without reaching out to him? She can’t think of anything she wants more right now than to just hear his voice. She carefully puts the picture back in the box, the lid on top of it, and hides it again between her shoes, before standing up and pulling her phone out of her pocket.

The phone app is taunting her and so is the little bubble with Calum’s picture, while she moves around her room, her finger hovering over the call button.

She slides to the floor, her back against a wall and she just closes her eyes and hits call before she can lose the courage to do it.

“Hey, I can’t answer right now, but leave a message… or don’t, I can’t tell you what to do…” his voicemail greets her as she mutters “This is so stupid,” before the beep happens and she just sighs into the line.

“I saw your mum today," she starts, picking at a loose thread in her pants, "I don’t know if she told you, but yeah, I saw her and… I don’t know. She asked me how I was and I lied. I said I was great. Hell, I asked about your sister even though I was about to have a breakdown in the frozen section of the supermarket,” she pauses, chuckling to herself, “‘Cause, what else could I do? Tell her I have no idea how to exist in the world after you?” She runs her hand through her hair, still shorter than she was used to, “I cut my hair," she blurts out when her fingers reach her ends, and that just makes her want to list the things she's done in silly attempts to not think of him, "I don’t listen to music anymore, I… I got a new job, I tried meditation," she rolls her eyes, "and that’s funny ‘cause when that didn’t work I thought about asking Ash for some pointers before I remembered he’s also not talking to me. How long has it been now? Five? Six months? And I still have no idea who I am without you.”

The music was loud and Erin’s heels were not helping her navigate this place, the people and the mess making her sure she was going to fall at any minute. Which happened a few moments after and she would’ve felt the irony if someone didn’t catch her and if when she’d looked up to thank them all thoughts hadn’t been replaced by the stranger's face. He looked familiar but she knew if she’d ever met him before, she’d remember, the tan skin, beautiful brown eyes, bright smile. He was gorgeous and he was looking at her in a way that made her cheeks heat up, her heart speed up and her skin was tingling where he was still touching her.

“I don’t know why called… Actually, that’s a lie. I called because I miss you. I’m sorry about that, I’m sure you don’t wanna be thinking about me, but I didn’t have the strength to not call anymore.” She sighs, dropping her head to her free hand, “‘cause guess what? Apparently, I’m not over you and all it takes for me to break is your mum being nice to me,” she laughs to herself, feeling the irony of the situation, “she has your eyes, actually, I guess you have her eyes, but I bet you know what I mean,” she rubs her eyes, before looking up at the ceiling, her head hitting the wall with a soft thud.

The clock in the microwave was blinking 2:58 am and it was the only source of light in the room, along with the glare from the street light coming through the window. She doesn’t know how the night turned into a fight. But lately, fighting seemed to be all they did. Her boss was pushing her too hard and tour prep was draining him, making both of them tick-timing bombs, ready to go off at any minute.

“I can’t do this anymore!” Calum screamed, knocking the air out of her lungs.

“What do you mean?” She asked, her voice suddenly too small.

“I’m not doing this anymore,” his voice was calm and clear, “it’s over.”

His words sank in slowly, and she stood motionless in the kitchen while he gathered his stuff. Her feet seemed to start working again when he walked down the stairs, and she followed him, speechless, unable to ask him to stay as he disappeared out the door without a single glance back at her.

“I don’t know what I’m doing. I have no idea what to do. I guess I thought hearing your voice would change something. But nah… Still love you. Still miss you,” she finally admits, chewing on her bottom lip, but the weight in her chest is still there, “I’m gonna hang up now, you can ignore this if you want. I don’t even know if you’re going to listen to it, but, yeah," she clears her throat, "goodbye Calum.”

The phone slides from her hand down to the floor after she hangs up, and she hugs her knees to her chest, dropping her head and muffling her screams against her arm. What the hell did she just do? She shouldn’t be allowed to have a phone. Actually, maybe she shouldn’t be allowed to have alcohol.

She moves down to the kitchen, abandoning the mug in the sink, keeping the spoon in her hand as she takes the ice cream carton out of the freezer, abandoning the lid next to the bottle of vodka she decides to ignore, and moving to sit in the living room. Maybe she could distract herself enough so she would stop cringing to herself.

Calum was absentmindedly tracing patterns up and down Erin’s arm, their legs tangled together, her head resting on his arm, a movie she’s not paying any attention to playing on the tv while they cuddled on the couch. He kissed the top of her head and something clicked in her brain. She smiled to herself before turning so she could face him. He kissed the tip of her nose when she did and she giggled.

“Cal?” She whispered and he hummed a yes locking eyes with her. “I love you.”

The words were barely out of her lips before his lips collided with hers and he was kissing her with such intensity it was hard to breathe.

“I love you,” he said, smiling against her lips, before kissing her again.

The spoon is caught between her teeth, a blanket around her, the Netflix app on the tv while she tries to find something she wants to watch when she hears the doorbell ringing. She lets the spoon fall off her mouth, throwing the remote and the ice cream carton into the coffee table, tightening the blanket around her before moving to answer the door. She has no idea what to expect, it’s late and she doesn’t remember ordering anything, so when she opens the door she’s convinced she’s hallucinating.

“You called me,” Calum says, the second the door is out of the way, but Erin is too stunned by his presence to not stare at him. His hair is messy, he’s wearing sweatpants and an undershirt, his car keys in one hand, his phone, that he’s shaking as he speaks to get her to look at it, in the other, eyes staring intently at her.

“I’m aware,” she says, slowly, blinking at him as if she is waiting for him to disappear, “you wanna come in?” She asks, feeling weird standing by the door, moving back out of the way when he nods. She closes the door behind her, adjusting the blanket around her shoulders as she looks at him.

“Did you mean it?” He asks, anxious eyes, still holding his phone as if it would somehow vanish, and she frowns at him.

“I said a lot of stuff, I need you to be more specific,” she chuckles, awkwardly, and he steps closer to her, invading her space and stealing her breath away.

“Do you still love me?” He asks, studying her and she opens and closes her mouth a few times. What answer does he want? She considers lying, but his eyes on her make it hard for her to think of anything to say other than. “Yes,” she breathes, and his face softens in relief, his hands moving to cup her face.

“Thank God,” he whispers, before crashing his lips to hers. She kisses him back, the blanket falling off her shoulders as she grabs hold of his shirt. Her heartbeat is ringing in her ears, and she’s convinced she’s going to wake up at any minute. It feels like a dream, his heart pounding against her hand while his lips move on hers.

“Wait,” she pulls back, and he looks breathless at her while she pinches herself.

“What’s wrong?” He asks, anxiety coming back to his eyes, and she pinches herself again, “what are you doing?”

“I’m just making sure I’m not dreaming,” she laughs, and he tilts his head, eyes soft, “what are you doing?”

“I was kissing you,” he chuckles and she shakes her head, opening and closing her mouth.

“Why?” She asks, frowning at him.

“Because I love you,” he says, voice calm and clear, and she can feel her heart swell as she looks at him, a smile fighting its way onto her lips.

“You do?”

“I do,” he nods, and she nods back, pursing her lips.

“Does that mean you won’t walk out just because you’re frustrated again?” She asks, staring up at him.

“I’m sorry I did that,” he says, running a hand through his hair.

“I’m sorry I picked a fight in the middle of the night,” she says, apologetically and he chuckles slightly.

“I’m sorry I let you, and then left.”

“Maybe in the next fight, we can just…”

“Talk?”

“Yeah,” she chuckles as he moves closer to her, hands on her waist pulling her in.

“Sounds like a plan," he agrees, grinning at her.

“Okay, you can kiss me again.”

________

taglist: @mytlrh

#5sos fics #5sos fic #calum hood fanfic #calum hood fic #i still don't know how to tag fics yeah #5 seconds of summer fic

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lubdubsworld · 3 years

Text

Insatiable ( Jungkook x OC) Chapter 2

Pairing : Jeon Jungkook x OC

Rating 18+

Genre : Vampire Au!!!! , DILF! Jungkook ! Bodyguard AU! Babysitter OC! Age difference!!! [ bet you’ve never seen all of this in one fic before? ]

[ Some notes : Born Vampires stop aging when they turn twenty five. Turned vampires stop aging when they’re turned. ]

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

“You alright?” Somi asked gently, watching me fling my backpack into the corner of the room with enough force to dislodge one of the wooden panels on the wall, the shelf crashing and bringing down the two potted plants on it. The sound of ceramic shattering made me wince, regret churning in my stomach.

“Yeah...yeah. Oh, God. I’m so sorry, Somi.. I broke your pots-”

“Never mind the pots...why do you look so upset? Have you been crying?” She demanded , reaching for me, hands curling around my wrists and drawing me into a hug and I swallowed, my throat dry and eyes swollen from all the tears that I’d wrung out of them.

Outside the room, Namjoon stood guard, at the door and I felt guilty remembering how the past three hours had gone.

After confronting Jungkook, I’d stormed off in righteous indignation and poor Namjoon had been forced to follow.

He had kept a discreet distance as I climbed to the tallest ridge on the roof, scaling the gables with ease and I knew he had been terrified at the prospect of me falling.

Immortal or not a three hundred foot drop to the ground would be something that would hurt.

And it was my bodyguard’s job to make sure I did not get hurt.

When he wasn’t busy fucking other women that is.

I gripped my sister harder, fingers curling into the fir of her coat as I tried to catch my bearing.

“Do you know Helena?” I whispered, pulling away to look at her. Somi’s face fell,eyes filling with sympathy.

“Oh, no. Was she here?” She asked gently, reaching out and cupping my cheeks and my lips wobbled.

“Why didn’t you warn me that he was in a relationship?” my voice shook and Somi shook her head.

“He’s not!! God, Helena doesn’t do relationships. Jungkook and her.... well, I’m not sure but they’re just fuck buddies..... barely that. You know she’s from the Kim clan right? Those bloodsuckers never settle for one partner. “ She muttered.

I stared at her.

“He called me a child and then told me he’ll tell dad if i try to make a move on him.” I whispered.

Somi flinched.

“Sera....”

“It was humiliating and painful and I don’t ever want to think about it, ever again.” I muttered.

She sighed.

“It’s not like you don’t have men dying for a glance from you, Sera. You forget that you’re literally the most beautiful woman in the clan. If he rejects you, you’re definitely not the one missing out in that equation.”

I nodded, misery seeping into me. My sob-fest on the roof hadn’t been wasted. I was angry at first but now, a sort of resigned acceptance had taken the place of my anger.

The look on Jungkook’s face had been too real, the emotion behind his rejection too potent for me to get over. I wasn’t sure I could change his mind.

Wasn’t even sure if I wanted to.

“Was he very hurtful ? You know, if you tell dad, he’ll hire someone else and-”

“No.” I said immediately. “ I won’t do that. It’s not his fault, it’s minge. I acted out like a...well a child to be honest. He doesn’t owe me anything and he’s always been obvious in his disinterest. I was just too blinded my own attraction to consider that it wasn’t reciprocated.” I grimaced.

God, I’d been an idiot and Jungkook’s words had knocked some good sense into my head. But I did care for him and his son and they needed this job. I wouldn’t put his job in jeopardy just because I didn’t get my way.

I was better than that.

“Alright... Dad wanted to meet you for breakfast tomorrow.... He sounded serious. Do you know what that’s about?”

I groaned, when I remembered the reason my dad wanted to see me these days.

“Dad wants me to start meeting men now. He thinks I’m old enough now that i’ve turned 21. He’s been badgering me for a whole entire month but I kept putting him off because of...well, because of Jungkook.” I admitted.

Somi looked worried.

“You want to ? If you don’t we can talk to dad and-”

“No-” I shook my head.” I’m just gonna agree.”

Somi looked surprised.

“Are you sure? Sera you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to-”

I smiled weakly.

“I’m not going to be allowed to stay single forever Somi. Especially not when the entirety of dad’s day is spent trying to chase suitors away from the door. Do you know the Count from Jeju Do...dude’s a whole seven centuries old and he looks like a toad. He apparently tried to ask about me and Dad’s been freaking out. “ I shuddered.

Somi laughed.

“ That’s what you get for being you. But dad’s right. Keeping you away from everyone is only inviting more interest. And we don’t want you to be with someone insufferable.” She ruffled my hair and I hugged her again sighing into her shoulders.

No I didn’t want to be with someone who just saw me as some kind of a possession to be owned. I wanted someone nice and kind. A handsome man who did the right thing . Someone who maybe, worked hard to give his kid a safe and protected life, someone who didn’t shun away from hard work and was a gentleman as well.

Someone like-

“Someone other than Jungkook.” Somi said gently reading my mind.

“I really liked him.” I whispered softly, feeling tears spring again.

God, I thought I was all out of tears for Jeon Jung Kook but apparently I was wrong.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I took extra care with my makeup the next morning, because my father usually had a ton of business meetings during his breakfast. I didn’t usually bother but , I was going to agree to his suggestions today and well, nothing wrong in delighting my father. And nothing made him happier than seeing me prance about with pretty feminine clothes .

My dad, for all his jovial cheerful air, loved his position as the head of the Hwang clan. And as his most prized possession , I was the apple of his eye. And while he didn’t treat me as an object or anything ( my dad loved me deeply and his affection was always evident. ) , there was no mistaking the fact that my dad enjoyed the power that came with being my guardian. Powerful men were willing to bend to his will, just for a chance to be with me.

I sound insufferable, don’t I?

Trust me I’m not.

The vampires that court me are usually assholes. Entitled, brain dead assholes . When I opened the door in the morning, dressed in a short summer dress and ready to meet my dad, I was surprised to see Jungkook standing guard outside. He straightened away from the wall where he was fiddling with his phone, his gaze flitting to me, eyes cold and blank.

I bowed lightly, not smiling.

“Mr. Jeon. I have a breakfast date with my father and then I’ll be heading to the cottage. I’m also meeting a friend of mine at the Art Museum in the evening so i’ll need the Mercedes brought around to pick me up maybe at 5.00PM.” I said briskly, glancing at him.

My face flamed red when I noticed his gaze, fixed steadily on my ass. I cleared my throat angrily and his eyes met mine, a slow lazy grin playing around his mouth.

“You look different.” He commented , shamelessly giving me another once over.

The nerve.

I swallowed, willing myself not to blush harder.

“I’m sure I don’t know what you mean.”

He chuckled.

“That dress barely covers your butt, angel. You sure you want to head to daddy dearest, dressed like that?” The way he said daddy made my skin heat up.

I felt my jaw come unhinged.

“That’s...that is none of your damn business.” I said shrilly.

He gave me another once over.

“Okay, then. If that’s what you’re into...fine. Let’s go.”

Gritting my teeth, i tried to keep my face neutral. I would not give him the satisfaction of knowing that he got to me. I would not.

I walked ahead of him , my fists clenched and my jaw tight and I felt incredibly upset because the day had barely begun and I was already wound tight. I was supposed to be relaxed and clear headed while talking to my father but Jeon Jungkook had muddled my brains as usual.

I took deep breaths, trying to calm myself down.

“Sera, wait.” His voice made me pause and I stopped, turning around to glare at him.

“What?” I snapped.

He sighed, deeply. I watched as he ran his hands through his hair, tongue pressing into his cheek the way it did when he was upset.

“About last night-”

I felt my pulse quicken.

“I don’t wanna talk about it!” I said quickly, turning back around to leave but his fingers came around my arm, gripping hard .

“Well tough luck. Because I do!” He said sharply.

I whimpered, pain blooming up my arm and he swore, loosening his grip.

“I keep forgetting you’re human.” He muttered, “ I’m sorry... I just... I wanted to apologize for how i handled things last night. I was twenty once and I should have been more understanding.”

I closed my eyes. Oh, God no. Please, please for the love of God, let me hate you in peace. Don’t apologize and make me fall in love all over again.

“Its fine.” I choked out. “ You were right. I was out of line.”

“You deserve better.” He said quickly, eyes flitting away from my face and I felt a sharp pang in my heart. God , this was agonizing.

“Jungkook-”

“It’s just that you’re...well you know who you are. You can’t be with ...someone like me and trust me you don’t want to be with someone like me either. I know its appealing, the whole illusion of stability. older man, has a kid, has his life together .....but that’s not all it means .” He gave me a tired smile.

I bit my lips, ot replying and he went on.

“ I have baggage, a shit ton of it and I would have to be especially cruel to unload something like that on a girl barely out of her teens. I’ve done shit I’m not proud of ,....but ruining your life, I’m gonna draw the line there.” He smiled , looking a whole decade younger and I closed my eyes.

I was back to square one, I thought miserably. He had my whole heart.

“ So we’re good right?” He prompted and I exhaled, giving him a smile.

“We’re good.”

“That’s good. Because my son loves you and I would rather we be friends. You’re just like a daughter to me. ” He touched my face gently, pulling away at once, the small contact leaving fire in its wake and I had to clench my fists .

A daughter?!! Is he out of his damned mind?

“Okay.”

“Let’s go then.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Jungkook, please sit down. You’re like my son and I don’t want you hovering like you’re part of the backdrop. I’ve trusted you with my entire life.” My father beamed, pointing at me and i laughed.

Jungkook bowed respectfully, taking the chair next to me.

“How are you , my buttercup?” My father asked softly, fingers gripping mine and I smiled.

“I’m well, father. Do you like my dress?”

Next to me Jungkook coughed and I shot him a dirty look.

“It looks ravishing on you. The prettiest flower in my estate is my daughter, do you agree Jungkook?” My father prompted and I swallowed the smirk that threatened.

Poor Jungkook was going to learn that being my bodyguard meant singing my praises twenty four seven or at least anytime my father was in hearing distance.

“Uh..” Jungkook’s eyes flitted between the two of us, “ Yes sir. Your daughter is quite lovely.”

I beamed at him and he looked away quickly.

Coward.

Turning back to my dad I held my hand out.

“DAd, you wanted to see me about something?”

“Yes dearest. You know the Kim clan’s matriarch has been after me. Three of her great great great grandsons have come of age recently. And all three of them are set to take over some very lucrative businesses. They are good men and apparently they’re quite smitten with you. They say you know of them from school?”

I sighed.

“Do you know their names?” I prompted.

“Mingyu, Minjae and Yugyeom.” My father said briskly.

Ugh.

“ They’ve asked me out before, yes.”

“Uh..Excuse me.. Could I get a refill?” Jungkook said quietly next to me and i turned, watching him wave to one of the footmen.

“Jungkook, are you thirsty?” My father asked brightly.

An idea formed in my head, wicked and dangerous.

“Perhaps, he should get a taste of the Hwang Elixir?” I said innocently.

My father’s gaze snapped to mine.

A small frown made its way to his face.

“Are you sure? I’m not sure if Jungkook would be comfortable-”

I turned to him, purposely flipping my long hair off my shoulders exposing my throat . Jungkook’s eyes went to the curve of my neck at once and i felt a sick sort of triumph when his eyes flashed red.

“Oh, no no...” I crooned, leaning in closer. “ I’m sure you aren’t uncomfortable , are you Jungkook ssi? After all, I am just like a daughter to you , aren’t I?” I stared right at him, fluttering my lashes and I saw his jaw clench.

“Of course, Ms. Hwang.” He said briskly, glaring at me. I played with the small gold chain around my neck, letting my fingers flutter over my pulse , drawing his gaze there.

“Well, that is true ...” My father looked uncertain, but I gave him a gentle nod and a smile.

“Well, as a special guest, I suppose you can enjoy our hospitality , Jeon. Why don’t you take a drink from -”

I moved closer, pressing up against him and Jungkook sighed, lips closing over my neck, and I felt my eyes flutter shut at the wet warmth of his mouth .

It was intoxicating, the way he used one hand to grip my neck gently, the other on my waist to steady me and when his fangs pierced through, I could sense the warm liquid flood his mouth and Jungkook’s entire body relaxed, a strangled moan escaping him.

“---my daughter’s wrist.” My father finished and I felt Jungkook stiffen next to me.

This time I couldn’t stop the grin that bloomed on my face.

My eyes dropped to his lap and yup, his pants definitely looked a tad tighter.

“Did I do good, Mr Jeon? Or should I call you daddy? ” I whispered quietly , fluttering my lashes at him and his fangs retracted and he pulled away from me, shoving me back into my own chair quickly.

My father was slightly slack jawed.

“I’m sorry, Mr. Hwang. “ Jungkook muttered and I laughed.

“I do believe it is I whom you should be apologizing to. It is my neck you just mauled. ” I smiled brightly staring at Jungkook and if looks could kill, I would have a thousand wooden stakes through my heart right about now. ‘

Take that Mr. Jeon.

Daughter, my ass.

“My apologies , Sera.” He said stiffly.

My father laughed raucously.

“Ahh, you must be used to the neck, my dear boy. understandable understandable. it is how we used to do it in the old days, after all . These younglings with all their etiquette and feminism and what not....it’s hard to keep up..... But now you must tell me? Is my daughter not the sweetest you’ve ever had?”

I choked, coughing. Oh God, sometimes my 900 year old father had no idea how he sounded.

Jungkook looked like he had swallowed a lemon.

“She’s certainly ...” He stopped, probably realizing that any adjective at the end of that sentence would sound entirely wrong.

“Delicious?” I prompted, blinking innocently and Jungkook shot me another glare.

“Well, nevermind nevermind. .... So, tell me dearest, will you be willing to meet the Kim boys?”

I sighed.

“I like Yugyeom. I cannot stand Minjae. I don’t know enough about Mingyu to make any judgement. How about I meet Mingyu and if I don’t hit it off with him, I will allow Yugyeom to court me....” I said softly.

I glanced at Jungkook but he was studiously looking away.

“Very well my dear. Do you have any plans today?”

“I’m meeting a friend at the museum.”

My father’s eyes widened.

“Well isn’t that a wonderful coincidence. Mingyu's law firm is just a block away if I’m not mistaken. I’ll ask the boy to pick you up afterwards. Have dinner with him and you can tell me tonight of your choice.” My father smiled briskly.

“Yes, father.”

“Jungkook..” My father prompted and the vampire glanced up.

“Yes, sir?”

“Take good care of her. At the restaurant, make sure you stay at hearing distance. “

“Yes sir.” Jungkook bowed and I groaned.

In other words, let my father know if I behaved appropriately.

i pouted and my father waggled his finger at me.

“No, no no.. Missy. I’m going to make sure you keep your end of the bargain . You need to give these men a proper chance before you reject them. “

I nodded.

“And you must ask Either Somi or Seolhyun to dress you. No jeans or one of those ridiculous gowns that make you look like a pastry.”

There was no mistaking the snort that came from my right and i glared at Jungkook before turning to my dad.

“Yes, father.”

“Good, now run along the pair of you. “

I stood up, kissing my father fondly on his forehead.

“I love you.” I whispered.

“You are my whole entire joy, dearest. “ He kissed my hand gently, eyes warm and soft.

As we left the room, Jungkook let out a sigh.

“I am never having a meal with you two again.” He ground out and I laughed.

“Anything you say, daddy.” I grinned.

Jungkook groaned.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As luck would have it, my friend cancelled .

So at six the evening, I finished locking up the cottage as the last of the kids left, fumbling with the lock while a tired Joo Won napped in his father’s arms, head resting on Jungkook’s shoulders. I felt myself soften at the picture they made, Jungkook singing softly , fingers brushing his son’s hair back as he rocked him gently.

“I’ll be a while... I needed to get ready. Why don’t you put him to bed? Who’s watching him tonight?”

“Hwasa and Moonbyul offered. I’ll drop you off in your room and head to the north wing. What time are you meeting the jerkwad?” He said casually.

I blinked rapidly, confused.

“I’m sorry... the jerkwad?”

Jungkook shrugged.

“It’ just a fact. Most men are absolute jerks at twenty one.” He shrugged.

i felt myself bristling on behalf of the unknown Mingyu.

“That is absolutely unfair. My brothers were incredibly kind and good.”

“To you perhaps. Because they don’t have to impress you. But men act differently when they’re trying to get between a woman’s thighs. They’re jerks when they want to get laid...” He grinned.

“Is that why you act like a jerk to me? ” I smiled evilly and he rolled his eyes.

“Oh, darling we both know I don’t have to act in any different way to get you into my bed . I just have to do this.” He smirked, curling his finger in a come hither gesture.

I felt my pulse pound and I tried not to let his words get to my head. He was flirting , yes but it was a joke. He was joking with me because the very idea of being with me was a joke to him.

And I couldn’t forget that.

Rolling my eyes, I pulled on the lock a couple more times to make sure the door was well locked.

“Shall we leave?” He prompted watching me wrestle the backpack onto my shoulders. I grunted under the weight.

“Of course. Let’s go.”

We walked in silence for a few seconds.

“So, how’s he doing? With stuff?” Jungkook asked gently and I felt warmth bloom in my chest.

“He’s very advanced for his age Jungkook. You’ve done a wonderful job with him. He’s able to read and he has a beautiful l writing hand. He’s learned his multiplication tables all the way up to seven and he has the voice of an angel. Which I think he gets from you. ” I smiled, reaching out to brush the back of Joowon’s head.

Jungkook smiled softly, the late evening sun painting his perfect features in a soft golden glow.

“Your father was kind enough to support me the first few years when i had him. I didn’t trust anyone enough to leave him with them and well... i needed to put a roof over our head.” He sighed .

I touched his arm, giving it a small squeeze.

“I understand. I’m glad you’re here. He’ll grow up well in our clan. “

“And he has a lot of excellent men to look up to here...He needs a good role model, someone kind and amazing who can inspire him to be hardworking and fair. ” He smiled.

I bit my lips.

“I think he’s had that all along. ” I said quietly.

Jungkook’s breath caught for a second and the air between us changed. I licked my lips.

“Jungkook you’re a good father. You know that right?” I said after a few more seconds of silence.

He laughed.

“Am I really? I wonder.”

“He loves you.” I breathed , “ You’re all he talks about.... Today, one of the other kids tried to say that his father was brave because he helped someone who was stuck in an elevator. you know what Joowon did? He listed some twenty different incidents where you’ve helped people out....And he looked so proud.”

Jungkook’s ear looked red in the brightly lit garden.

“i was just doing my job. Most of those times, I was in danger.” He grunted.

“And yet, you did the right thing. “ I whispered. “ And your son was watching. And he’s learned the importance of doing the right thing even when you’re scared. That’s a life lesson that isn’t easy to learn.”

“Can’t disagree with that.” He chuckled. I grabbed his arm forcing him to stop.

I had to tell him this.

“ Jungkook, when immortality is on the plate, people don’t give much value to morals. They don’t always care about doing the right thing.... . Its how our kind functions. Consequences don’t mean much when you have a whole eternity to fix your mistakes.....So I always admire vampires who value morals. “ I smiled, “ To see a five year old with such a well formed moral compass... it tells me that you’re an amazing father. Possibly the best I’ve ever met. “ I reached out, to hold his hand, wanting to touch him in some way, to make him believe that I was completely honest.

“Sera!!!!!!” My sister’s voice made me jump and Jungkook stepped away as well.

“Dad told me you’re going on a date? I’ve picked out an outfit for you!! But you need to take a shower! You cannot show up smelling like diapers and spit-up.” She called.

I groaned.

“Time for the ugly duckling to transform into a swan, I see?” He said gently.

“Your son’s favorite fairytale.” I whispered.

“He makes me read it every night.”

“I would like to sit in on that someday.” I laughed.

His eyes met mine.

“You’re always welcome, Ms Hwang,” He smiled politely. “ Someday soon maybe your kids and my son would be friends.”

And just like that the wall grew between us.

His kids and my kids.

Not our kids because he wasn’t for me.

He would never be for me.

I felt the sudden inexplicable urge to cry.

Turning away, I began following my sister as she waved to me. .

“I’ll be at your door at seven.” He called out behind me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

#jeon jungkook #jungkook smut #jungkook fics #jungkook #bts fics #jungkook vampire au #jungkook vampire #bts vampire au #bts smut #bts fic #bts fanfic #jungkook fanfic

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literaila · 3 years

Text

picture perfect

spencer reid x reader

request: do you think you could write a sequel to this vast empty space? after things go back to normal and it's just a cute fluffy fic. it made me cry very hard and i love it a lot.

this is an epiloge to “this vast empty space” read that here.

warnings: probably confusing, very short, fluff.

She could sleep now.

She spent every night laying in bed, no longer pondering the loneliness that had invaded, but instead surrounded by warmth, and a comforting feeling she couldn't describe.

She slept through every night, no longer waking up from nightmares, screaming for her husband to come back to her.

She could sleep now.

Maybe it was because she had turned up the AC, and her room was no longer burning hot at night. Maybe it was because she ate dinner earlier, and wasn't as worked up when she went to bed. Maybe it was because she had developed a schedule and her eyes had started getting tired earlier.

Or maybe,

It was the weight on the other side of her bed. Maybe it was the laughter that she heard every night when she read her daughter a bedtime story. Maybe it was the soft kisses that she knew would wake her up in the morning.

Maybe it was the feeling she could feel in her chest.

Maybe it was the soft hands that guided her to emotion every night.

Every night, she whispered her quiet acknowledgment, whispered affirmations to the person next to her.

Every night, she had someone to say goodnight to, someone to kiss, someone to keep her warm.

She could sleep now.

And sleep did wonders for her.

After all, she’d decided to keep working, that work was a part of her life she couldn't just remove. That she wouldn't take the easy way out. She knew that she was scared, she knew that there was nothing wrong with the way their family lived, and she was just scared.

She was scared all the time of the possibilities, the things that could remove her, remove him. She was scared for the daughter that she might leave behind.

But, she wouldn't allow her fear to affect her life as it did, she wouldn't allow her fears to keep space between her and the man she loved.

She would move forward. Keep trying.

Things were looking up.

It was an early October morning. The air had put fresh thoughts into her brain, had allowed her to wake up, to get up. It was brisk outside, everything felt fresh. But, in the middle of the fall, she knew that couldn't be true.

The trees were dying again. The clouds were swarming in, following her out the door. The leaves were falling again, the colors scattered across the ground, up in the air. They brought joy to their air with their death, their passing on.

Her daughter's laughter was floating across the air, like bells flying through the wind, reminding her just how much she loved and appreciated fall. She loved these bells, these tiny sounds that made their way straight to her chest. Right into her heart.

She watched Fayre dance around in the leaves, throw them up, get them stuck in her hair. And, a part of her knew that she should be bothered, that her daughter shouldn't be making a mess, but she looked so happy. And so she’d decided she would ignore that part, she would allow her daughter the joy of fall for a moment longer.

They had to leave soon anyway.

“Did you get Fayre ready-”

A warm voice filled the air around her, distracted her from her thoughts. Hands were wrapping around her waist as she breathed in the air again, the feeling cold in her chest.

She turned around, leaned her back against their deck. Listened to her daughter laugh some more, and kept the small smile on her face.

His eyes were amused, and just a little bit reserved. But mostly playful.

They had to leave soon. They were scheduled to take pictures today. Family pictures. Snapshots in this moment of life when everything seemed too perfect.

Y/N and Spencer had decided it was time for new one weeks prior when they were listening to music in the kitchen, late at night after Fayre had gone to bed, and Y/N had noticed the pictures on the wall were old ones. Ones of when Fayre was just a baby, only a couple of months old. They swayed around the kitchen and decided that now was a good time to have a memory to hold onto.

And today was the day.

The two of them had woken up early, shared a couple of soft kisses in the morning light. Basking in the sun from their window in bed, and trying to shake their tired eyes.

Yawns were shared as the two of them got ready. Smiles across the room.

After that, it was Y/N’s job to get Fayre ready. Spencer had agreed to wake her up, Y/N refusing to do so because of the monster her daughter was in the morning, but Y/N had to get her ready.

That was the deal.

And maybe, just possibly, the mother and daughter had gotten a bit distracted.

Fayre had wanted breakfast, which of course Y/N had complied with, knowing that they had a bit of extra time. And then breakfast had turned into the two of them telling jokes across the table, Y/N laughing at the silliness of her little girl. And then Fayre had wanted to play hide and seek, and who was Y/N to argue? She was fond of laughter and smiles, and her daughter, and so again, she’d complied. Completely forgetting that they were supposed to be getting ready.

Spencer hadn't noticed any of this, showering the other room.

And now they were outside, playing in the leaves, laughing together again.

“She doesn't look ready,” Spencer said, continuing his sentence as he stared at his wife. His eyes were questioning now, his face harsh but amused still.

Y/N gave him a sheepish smile, leaning up to kiss his cheek. Almost as a way of apologizing, almost as a kiss of affection.

“She wanted to play,” she said, her smile bigger now as she watched his eyes soften. As his thumbs ran circles over her waist.

“Love, she always wants to play,” Spencer reminded her.

“We have a little bit of time?” Y/N answered back, her voice higher, her eyes faking innocence. Spencer scowled at her, rolling his eyes.

Y/N planted kisses all over his face, getting him to laugh under her insistent pecking. She smiled against his face and kept going, waiting for him to pull her off of him.

And when he did, she smiled at him again, reminding herself of this warmth, this feeling in her heart. Committing it to memory. Telling herself to never forget it.

Y/N pulled herself from his arms, ducking under his hands and walking towards her daughter.

Fayre was still playing in the leaves, oblivious to Y/N and Spencer’s conversation. Her hair was tangled, there was grass all over her, and still, Y/N couldn't help but smile at the sight of her daughter's grin.

“Come on little love, we’ve got to get ready before Daddy has a heart attack.”

Fayre squealed as Y/N picked her up.

***

They were all dressed in fall colors. Their outfits not matching, but flowing well together.

It wasn't the first time they’d been to this photographer, and Spencer and Y/N were both familiar and comfortable with him.

First, they’d decided to get pictures of Fayre alone, knowing that eventually, her smile would fade, that she would get tired and would be less willing to smile for the camera.

Y/N watched from the side as both the photographer and Spencer tried to make her laugh.

It was an easy job, seeing as Fayre found something funny in everything, and Y/N was excited to see the pictures that would come out of these moments. She pictured them on her wall, pictured them as her new lock screen.

When dozens of pictures of Fayre had been taken, Spencer walked over to Y/N, letting the photographer take over the job, and he kissed her head as he wrapped an arm around her. They both watched Fayre laugh for a moment, comforted by the feeling of each other.

And then Y/N pushed Spencer into the view of the camera.

She whispered to the photographer, told him to get some pictures of the two of them.

The two people she loved the most.

At first, it was just the two of them smiling at the camera, Fayre giggling while Spencer lifted her off the ground.

And then, Spencer had decided to try something new. He set Fayre back down on the ground, kneeling in front of her. They were looking at each other now, their eyes bright as they stared at each other. Y/N could see Spencer reach back to grab something out of his pocket, she could see Fayre questioning what he was doing, her small hands trying to grab at his arm to see.

She smiled at the two of them, hoped that the pictures of this moment would come out good.

And then Spencer started to make Fayre laugh again. He pulled out the easiest trick in the magic book, removing a coin from behind Fayre’s ear.

And her laughter was infectious.

Y/N looked over to the photographer, saw the pictures on the screen in front of them.

They were perfect.

She could feel the pride, the love for the two of them bursting in her chest.

She was distracted when Spencer called her over, the three other people in the room all looking to her.

And it was time for the family pictures.

Once again, they started with just smiling at the camera. Spencer held Fayre in one of his arms, and in the other, he pulled Y/N closer to him. He smiled at the faces Fayre and Y/N were making at each other. Y/N lifted a hand up to caress her daughters face, both of their smiles filling their entire faces.

And they continued taking pictures, continued smiling altogether, laughing at the photographer, at each other. There were pictures of them all close together, pictures of them spread apart and laughing. Pictures of them making serious faces, pictures following those ones of all of them laughing.

And it was a perfect moment.

It was beyond perfect.

In a moment of silence, a moment where the photographer had gone to get something, when Fayre had been distracted, in a moment Spencer leaned down to Y/N to whisper to her.

“You look so happy.” He said, and Y/N could feel the adoration in his voice, the appreciation, the awe. She could hear the longing, the desperate way he had always wished she was happy. And she remembered when they’d first made up, on that first night together, she remembered him whispering to her how sorry he was.

She remembered Spencer telling her that he hadn't seen her smile in so long.

And now… now she couldn't stop smiling. Every day, it felt like her smile had been glued onto her face, that been plastered there.

Spencer kissed her head, held her close to him, and she could feel his heart against hers.

“I love you,” she murmured back, not wanting to disrupt this moment. This perfect moment for the two of them.

She wanted him to know how happy he had made her, how she could feel with him, how there was nothing but complete warmth and bliss when she was with him. She wanted him to know just how much love she had for him.

She could barely imagine ever feeling sad before, she couldn't imagine the person she was only months ago. She couldn't imagine the hole that she once thought had been dug in her chest.

No, she was whole, there was no space, nothing empty. She was completely whole, and she could never stop smiling now.

She had a family. One that was completely hers, one that she knew loved her. And she knew now, that her husband and her daughter could never be complete without her. She knew that even though she wasn't perfect, she was perfect for them, and just enough.

She knew that their family was perfect together. That this person she was, was just enough.

This person was new, shiny, and new, and happy.

This person was happy.

This person could never do without the two flowers that had bloomed on her heart, that had dug their own holes, their own space in her chest. The two flowers she loved desperately.

And with that thought, she smiled at the camera.

A snapshot of a perfect moment.

its short and simple but.... you know... i think its cute so.

my masterlist here.

#spencer reid smut #spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x y/n #criminal minds imagine #criminal minds x reader #criminal minds #criminal minds rp #criminal minds headcanons #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid fic #spencer reid fan #spencer reid fanfic #mgg #mgg x reader #mgg blurb #mgg fanfiction

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taggedmemes · 3 years

Text

SENTENCE MEME ⟶ TAYLOR SWIFT / EVERMORE ( TRACKS 9 –– 17 ) always feel free to tweak the sentence to fit your muse.

“Break my soul in two.”

“I’m looking for you but you’re right here.”

“If I can’t relate to you anymore then who I am related to?”

“If this is the long haul, how’d we get here so soon?”

“Did I close my fist around something delicate?”

“Did I shatter you?”

“Sorry for not making you my centerfold.”

“Lost again with no surprises.”

“Disappointments, close your eyes.”

“It gets colder and colder as the sun goes down.”

“The question pounds my head.”

“What’s a lifetime of achievement?”

“If I pushed you to the edge, but you were too polite to leave me.”

“Do you miss the rogue who coaxed you into paradise and left you there?”

“Will you forgive my soul?”

“You’re too wise to trust me and too old to care.”

“We were like the mall before the internet.”

“It was the one place to be.”

“Did I leave you hanging every single day?”

“Did I paint your bluest skies the darkest grey?”

“I’d meet you where the spirit meets the bones.”

“Your touch brought forth an incandescent glow.”

“I’m grieving for the living.”

“My pain fits in the palm of your freezing hand.”

“My hand’s been promised to another.”

“I can’t stop you putting roots in my dreamland.”

“Now I’m covered in you.”

“I wish to know the fatal flaw that makes you long to be magnificently cursed.”

“Your eyes are all I wish to see.”

“He wants what’s only yours.”

“What would he do if he found us out?”

“He’s gonna burn this house to the ground.”

“I’d live and fir for moments that we stole on begged and borrowed time.”

“Tell me to run.”

“Dare to sit and watch what we’ll become.”

“It’s a goddamn blaze in the dark and you started it.”

“It’s the goddamn fight of my life.”

“Dancing is a dangerous game.”

“I thought this was gonna be one of those things.”

“I’m never gonna love again.”

“I’ve got some tricks up my sleeve.”

“Takes one to know one.”

“Never wanted love, just a fancy car.”

“You had some tricks up your sleeve.”

“I could be the way forward.”

“You’re a bandit like me.”

“Never thought I’d meet you here.”

“We could be the way forward.”

“The skeletons in both our closets plotted hard to fuck this up.”

“The men I swindled really did believe I was the one.”

“You hang from my lips like the gardens of babylon.”

“Forever is the sweetest con.”

“I tried to pick my battles until the battle picked me.”

“I was in the alley surrounded on all side.”

“The knife cuts both ways.”

“I fell from the pedestal right down the rabbit hole.”

“It was a bad time.”

“I was pushed from the precipice.”

“It was the wrong guy.”

“Now I’m all about you.”

“I always felt like I must look better in the rear view.”

“We live in peace.”

“If someone comes at us, this time I’m ready.”

“No more keeping score.”

“I just know there’s more.”

“I wanna tell you not to get lost in these petty things.”

“Your nemeses will defeat themselves.”

“He feels like home.”

“It was a bad time, but I survived.”

“Never be so kind, you forget to be clever.”

“Never be so clever, you forget to be kind.”

“If I didn’t know better, I’d think you were talking to me now.”

“I’d think you were still around.”

“What died didn’t stay dead.”

“You’re alive in my head.”

“Never be so polite, you forget your power.”

“Never wield such power, you forget to be polite.”

“You loved the amber skies so much.”

“I should’ve asked you questions.”

“I still feel you all around.”

“Seeing the shape of your name still spells out pain.”

“It wasn’t right, the way it all went down.”

“Yes, I’m doing better.”

“It cut deep to know ya, right to the bone.”

“I know that it’s over.”

“I don’t need your closure.”

“Don’t treat me like some situation that needs to be handled.”

“I’m fine with my spire.”

“I can feel you smoothing me over.”

“I know I’m just a wrinkle in your new life.”

“Staying friends would iron it out so nice.”

“It fakes and so unnecessary.”

“I replay my footsteps on each stepping stone.”

“I’m trying to find the one where I went wrong.”

“I had a feeling so peculiar.”

“This pain would be forevermore.”

“Can’t remember what I used to fight for.”

“I rewind the tape but all it does it pause on the very moment all was lost.”

“I was catching my breath, barefoot in the wildest winter, catching my death.”

“Can’t not think of all the cost, and the thing that will be lost.”

“Can we just get a pause?”

“Is there a line that I could just go cross?”

“When I was shipwrecked I thought of you.”

“In the cracks of light, I draemed of you.”

“It was real enough to get me through.”

“I swear you were there.”

“This pain wouldn’t be forevermore.”

“I’m right where you left me.”

“I’m still sitting in a corner I haunt.”

“You could hear a hair pin drop right when I felt the moment stop.”

“You left me no choice but to stay here forever.”

“She’s still twenty three inside her fantasy.”

“Did you hear about the girl who lives in delusion?”

“She’s a crook who was caught.”

“That old familiar body ache.”

“The snaps from the same little breaks in your soul.”

“You know when it’s time to go.”

“Sometimes giving up is the strong thing.”

“Sometimes to run is the brave thing.”

“Sometimes walking out is the one thing that will find you the right thing.”

“I was begging until my knees bled.”

“I gave it my all and he gave me nothing at all.”

“He wondered why I left.”

#memes #sentence meme #sentence starters #starter sentences #rp starters #BASED ON / LYRICS.#KIND / SENTENCE.#KIND / IN CHARACTER.

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gyucore · 3 years

Text

to reach a happy ending

pairing: beomgyu x reader

tags: fluff, childhood friends to lovers

word count: 1.6k

warnings: beomgyu swears like once

prompts:

017: "A fairytale with a happy ending always brings a smile to my face."

023: "Do you believe in love at first sight?"

— requested by ⛅ anon! sorry this took so long to make. i hope you like it!! ♡

"Ew, look at this." You hand the dusty old photo album to Beomgyu who's sprawled across the floor by your side.

"Wait—" He stops you, rolling away before letting out a sneeze so loud that it managed to echo off the dusty untouched walls of his old room. The poor guy couldn't help it, his room hadn't been cleaned since he moved out in the middle of high school, and his mom preferred to keep things as they were— dust and all. You wonder if it was simply an excuse to clean one less room.

Beomgyu did say he had dropped in yesterday without notice. You'd think he'd want to spend some quality time with his parents first, but he'd decided to invite you over after spending a single night under this roof. Having heard nothing but radio silence from your best friend in years, you were thrilled to get to see him again. And what better way to shed off the ever present awkwardness in the beginning than to go through old photo albums?

"Okay, show me." Beomgyu rolls back to your side, scooting in closer to rest his head on your lap.

You turn the photo album, pointing at one photo in particular of you and Beomgyu dressed as a knight and damsel in distress— Beomgyu playing the role of the latter. Contrary to the roles, you were pummeling Beomgyu to the ground as if having caught a thief, and Beomgyu was shoving his handkerchief to your face, blocking your eyesight. The context behind the photograph alludes you, but this might just be a case of seven-year-olds doing whatever they want whenever.

"The fuck you mean ew? I look great in that dress!" Frowning, Beomgyu grabs the album to stare longer at his past self's glory.

"Lying to yourself isn't good for you, Gyu." You jokingly disapprove. It was fun seeing his reactions right after.

"Oh, look at these."

Beomgyu points at a photo of you and him on stage, wearing the same costumes as before. You figured it was for a play back in first grade when you two had been classmates. The next series of photos included one of you holding out a sword towards a kid in a cheap dragon costume, one of Beomgyu holding back his tears after tripping over and ripping his dress, and ones of you rushing to Beomgyu and kissing away his tears.

"This takes me back." Beomgyu lights up with a smile, failing to notice the surprise on your face. "Remember when your mom made us believe that kissing any injuries we had would make it go away? I knew you wanted to help me back then but I couldn't stop crying and tell you were it hurt, so you started kissing all over my face hoping it'd go away."

You find yourself laughing at your past self's foolishness. "But did it work?" You ask in between laughs.

"Well," Beomgyu chuckles, getting up from his position on your lap. "I don't think it would've worked if another person had done it. But since it was you— Wait." He takes one last look at the album, letting slip a wheeze before placing it back in its box. "Mom wrote something right below the photo."

"What did she write?" You ask, holding out your hands for Beomgyu to grab.

"A fairy tale with a happy ending always brings a smile to my face." Beomgyu tells you as he helps you up, trying his best to keep a straight face after delivering that line.

The two of you burst into laughter at his mother's words. You knew she'd been fond of fairy tales all her life but the caption was taking you out. Beomgyu was literally crying in the photo yet somehow this, to her, was a happy ending.

You eventually take notice of all the photos plastered around his room, some framed, and some simply stuck to the walls— memories of happier times. Most were of you and him, and in some, just you. He'd shown off the Polaroid camera his mother bought for him in seventh grade, proclaiming he'd only take photos of moments he'd want to keep in his memory forever. It never actually crossed your mind that a lot of them would be of you.

Beomgyu notices your wandering eyes and chuckles, placing an arm around your shoulder. The distance between you shrinks as he holds you closer. And at that moment, you take note of everything that's changed.

He'd gotten taller since the last time you saw him. Gone was the lanky boy you knew, evident in the way his muscles flexed with every small movement you wish you hadn't noticed. Beomgyu had grown his hair out; the thick, wavy locks tucked behind his ears, covering the back of his neck. The deepness of his voice had been a surprise when he greeted you at the door earlier, but you held back from pointing it out.

You feared that if you acknowledged all the changes, you'd be forced to face reality. That things weren't the same anymore, no matter how hard you tried. After all, Beomgyu wasn't the only one who changed. You had quite the few character development arcs yourself, and experiences which Beomgyu remained oblivious of. And somehow despite that, in his presence, you started to feel like your old self again.

Beomgyu's invitation had come as a surprise last night. You thought he'd forgotten about you, what with all the silence these past few years.

Life continued on as it should even without Beomgyu by your side, but you could argue that all the amazing experiences you've had on your own would've been better if he were there to experience it with you. And now here you were in his old room, pretending everything was the same as he'd left it.

You look up at your old friend, wanting to tell him what had been plaguing your thoughts the entire day but find yourself tongue tied when his dark eyes stare back into your own. And you wonder, how many times had it been that you'd stared into each other's eyes just like this? How many times had he pulled you close into his arms all those years? And just how many nights had you spent wondering if your feelings for him had grown into something more?

"I missed you." Beomgyu speaks first, his gaze never faltering.

Hearing his voice, you swear you could've melted right then and there. Part of you had wished he'd tell you those exact words, confirming that it hadn't been just you who'd been wanting to see him all these years.

"I missed you too."

Beomgyu could only smile at your response.

His arm leaves your shoulder— hands slowly finding their way to your own. His hold was gentle as he slowly guided you to face him.

"Don't laugh, but," Beomgyu starts. "Do you believe in love at first sight?"

"Love at fir—"

The question throws you off.

"What?"

"I heard you the first time!" You cut him off, wanting so bad to cover your face from the secondhand embarrassment. "I can't believe you just said that. What even happened to you in college?"

"Hey! At least hear me out before you make fun of me." Beomgyu bursts out laughing at your reaction, his thumbs caressing the back of your hands to help you calm down. "Judging from your reaction, I'm guessing your answer is a no. And I honestly felt the same too until a few hours back."

"Okay, you lost me there."

"Shut up. What I'm saying is," Beomgyu squeezes your hands, leaning in closer. "I'm sorry I haven't been in touch the last few years. I had a lot of trouble adjusting, and it took a while for me to really get the hang of living alone. I wanted to talk to you as soon as I got there but then I thought that maybe it would've been better for you if I left you to live your own life for a while too."

"Beomgyu.." You squeeze his hands back, sensing the sincerity in his eyes.

Beomgyu shakes his head. "I know this sounds silly and all, but I didn't want you to feel the emptiness I felt when I left. I wanted you to go and make experiences of your own without me."

You frown, refraining to speak until he's done.

"But then I couldn't stop thinking about you. Everywhere I went, I'd think of you and how the place would've been better if we got to hang out there together. Every time I had fun or ate something that tasted good, I wanted you to share the experience with me."

Beomgyu sighs. "Honestly, I thought I could make it through my visit home without seeing you but I passed by your house on my way home yesterday and I just.. I couldn't hold back. And when I saw you for the first time in years at the front of my doorstep.. I knew I had to tell you."

Half of you knew what to expect, and the other half doubted the reality of the situation. But all the doubts instantly melt away as soon as Beomgyu closed the distance between you, pressing your foreheads together.

Face flushed, you stare at him in awe and notice he had his eyes closed shut. "Cute." You thought.

He whispers in a voice so quiet you could barely hear.

"I like you."

You couldn't hold it in any longer, the rush of emotions crashing into you like raging waves against a cliff. The next moment, you find yourself inching closer and closer, face heating up even more as you press your lips against his as a reply.

Beomgyu's eyes widen, body freezing in place. He hadn't exactly expected you to respond so soon, especially not like this. And he couldn't be happier.

You feel Beomgyu returning the kiss, his hands going up to cup your face— his hold gentle. The two of you wanted nothing more than to stay in this moment for as long as life permits, because for once, you could finally see the path to your happily ever after slowly unraveling.

This was just the beginning.

#txt #txt imagines #txt x reader #txt fic #beomgyu #beomgyu x reader #beomgyu imagines #beomgyu oneshot #beomgyu scenarios #beomgyu fluff

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squishycheekanon · 3 years

Text

It’s just Business - three

Werewolf Steve Rodgers x reader

Warnings for the series: fluffness, Bucky and Sam bickering like five year olds, smutty smut, bad language.

After coming back from my ruined peaceful walk, I didn’t have the motivation to do anything other than just sitting and reading. I spent most of the afternoon and evening doing that too. It kind of brought back the serene feeling from this morning but not the same. By the time dinner and then sleep rolled around I felt unproductive.

Making a mental note to talk to Bash tomorrow, I pulled back the covers ready to get into bed when I heard a howl just like the night before. The noise caused my breath to hitch in my throat, my hands to grip the sheets. Like a siren call I walked towards the glass door in a daze. Standing out on the balcony now, I heard the howl again but it was closer this time.

The noise made my chest tighten. A pricking sensation familiar to how you’d prick your finger when learning to sow. It got stronger and stronger, almost like something was getting closer and closer.

“Alex?” I jumped screaming when a hand placed itself on my back.

“Oh Bash, sorry, you scared me. I didn’t hear you come in.” I explained.

“I haven’t scared you in years. Last time I did we were little. You seemed to be the one scaring me now.” He grinned, a smile slipping onto my face too.

“Seems that way doesn’t it?” He eyed the lake and trees with a suspicious eye.

“Do you like it here?” He asked coming to stand next to me on the balcony.

“I love it. It’s so freeing.” I stared out at the view.

“I’m sorry for what Dad had done. And, well I’m sorry for leaving you in that house to begin with.” He cleared his throat, I reached out a patted his back. I knew it was hard for him to admit his wrong doings, even if technically he didn’t do anything wrong here.

“It’s not your fault. Mother and Father would have never let it happen. And besides maybe being away from them for eight months will be good for me.” I let out a dry chuckle at the thought. Eight parent free months. Sounded amazing.

“When I was your age, that would have sounded like heaven to me.” He poked my side with a laugh.

“Bash, I spent four months trying to do this task, and I’ve already failed. How did you and JJ complete it in under a month?” I asked astonished, more about JJ than Bash really.

“When Father set us the task, I thought it was easy. And applied to every college in the world, a lot of people wanted the ‘Mayor’s Son’ on their campus, but two sons that was like a dream to them and their scouts. So when I finally picked the college I wanted, they asked if JJ would be joining me. Which he did.” Bash shook his head remembering the trouble JJ caused that university.

“Nobody wants me for my title or my grades. They just want money. How am I supposed to do this? The task is to get into a college without financial help. So far getting a scholarship from every place in the world has failed. Because they said and I quote ‘your parents have too much money’.” I pushed and hand through my hair angrily.

“I have a friend at Hitchend Uni, I called and asked if he could do something. He said he’d see what he could do and call back soon.” Bash looked over to me seeing my sad eyes. “Little sister.”

“I just wish my life wasn’t like this. I wish it were different. That I didn’t have to worry about this stupid task or the fact that if I fail they’re going to kick me out without any financial support. They won’t even let me get a job to support myself, so what money will I have to fall back on?” I tried to relax staring out at the lake. A howl sounded over to the left of the forest.

“You know that Lara and I will take you in. We could never let you be homeless.” He placed a hand on my shoulder.

“Thankyou Sebastian.”

“Ooo using my full name. You must be serious.” He chuckled pulling me into a hug. I gladly accepted the warmth.

“Now come on time for bed.” He encouraged me inside and I listened. Slipping under the covers as he shut and locked the door.

“Goodnight little sister.”

“Goodnight big brother.” He smiled and closed the door. I rested a little easier that night, knowing that when everything goes to shit I have someone to turn to. I’m not alone.

Two more days. Today and tomorrow and then the freedom is gone. My head started to hurt more and more, the closer it got to leaving. New worries hitting me at every point throughout the day. I couldn’t stop thinking about all different kinds of problems that could happen. Soon enough, the last day rolled around.

A knock on the door had Bash’s head flicking in the noises direction. We were in the middle of breakfast, I was far too busy chowing down my Frosties to care who was at the door until I heard who Bash was talking to. He’d gone to get the door and now was conversing with whoever was there.

“Of course man, come in. We’re just having breakfast.” I went to leave, for now I was beyond pissed.

“Alex.” Lara shook her head at me, but I didn’t listen. Getting up from my seat only to run right into the person I wanted to avoid.

“Good morning Alexandra.” His voice was like honey, his sweet smile pushing me to stay. Dark blue graced his upper body again. Mustering up the best glare I could and sending it his way. I left, going back to my temporary room upstairs. Only a few seconds later he was stood in the door way.

“I want there to be no misunderstanding Alexandra. I no way want you to dislike me or be uncomfortable. However we will be spending the next eight months together and I have specific instructions from your father in terms of a schedule. It would be best if we got along don’t you agree?”

He had some fucking nerve. I grit my teeth taking a deep breath before turning to him and speaking.

“And I want there to be no misunderstanding when I say I have one more day left of freedom. And I would very much prefer to spend it without you, errand boy.” I wasn’t going to be told what to do by my father’s errand boy. Well, man.

The clench of his jaw, the raise of the eyebrow, the spark in his eyes gave me a sense of pride. I had just managed to rile up a grown man and he couldn’t do anything about it. It was in that moment I decided to spend the next eight months making his life as hellish as mine.

He left the room quickly, I couldn’t help the grin that grew with each passing second. For some reason, I didn’t know what that reason was but, I really liked getting him riled up and I couldn’t wait to see what happens when I push him too far and he snaps. I wonder what it is that he’ll do.

I felt my entire body heat up, I figured it was just the adrenaline rush that came with the situation rush. But the longer I stood and pondered, I felt like I was yearning for something? Heat shot through me again, it felt like when you get too hot and the waves of hotness just keep coming until you take off your jacket.

Shaking the feeling off, I made myself determined to go back to being normal for a day. That was ultimately the goal until Mr rugged showed up at the front door. Wonder if he’s still here? I tilted my head with the thought, trying to listen and see if I could hear any talking downstairs.

“Yeah, you idiot.” Lara laughed.

“Ah my loving wife, how ever did I deserve such a glorious mate that showers me with affection daily.” Bash’s sarcasm dripped with each word he spoke.

“Eww sloppy kisses!” Lara scream playfully.

That’s a new one. Never heard someone refer to their partner as a mate before. Strange but with my family stranger things happen every day. Not wanting to take my chances that he hadn’t left I stayed in my room for the rest of the day.

“Wish I could stay.” I huffed flopping down on my bed. Tomorrow was the day I left and I wasn’t ready.

This is it. No. It can’t be.

“Alex!”

It is. Pulling the sheet above my head, I let out a groan at the thought.

“I’m leaving today.” I said to myself, as if trying to ready myself for the journey ahead.

I got dressed and packed as slowly as possible. Didn’t have the appetite to eat anything. Felt like my stomach would lurch if I did. Couldn’t bare the thought of going away from the first place that had made me feel peaceful.

“Love you lots and lots and lots and lots and lots.” Lara repeated hugging me tightly.

“Okay Lara, let my baby sister breath.” Bash chuckled.

“Our sister.” She glared not letting go.

“Love you too” I smiled pulling away and walking to Bash. He enveloped me in a hug.

“You can do this.” He whispered, squeezing me before letting me go.

I got in the car that had pulled up twenty minutes ago. I didn’t mind making him wait. I waved goodbye to the happily married couple, mustering up the best smile I could. The gorgeous fir trees passed by not helping my solemn mood. Soon the mountains came into view, seeing a few houses dotted here and there on a few of them.

The car passed by the big village. Strings of houses here and there. There was a huge house in the middle of it. People walking about, looking my way, kids playing outside and others farming the land. We pulled up to a house that was slightly away from the village and a bit bigger than the other houses. The driver opened my door for me, smiling in thanks.

“Rustic.” I quipped looking at the house.

“Thanks.” My head snapped to Steve who had been walking my way, behind him was a trail going into the forest that I assumed led up to the mountains.

“Welcome to your new home for the next eight months.” He smiled and somehow, it seemed sincere.

Oh joy.

#alpha steve rogers #steve rodgers x y/n #steve rodgers imagine #steve rodgers x reader #steve x reader #steve rogers #werewolf x human #werewolf #werewolves #human reader #bucky barnes fluff #sam wilson fluff #steve rodgers fluff #Steve Rodgers smut #fluff #smut #Spotify

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just-call-me-the-intrusive-thot · 4 years

Text

Soulmate September - Day 7

Day 7 - There is a string tied around your pinky that only you can see, the end of it leads to your soulmate.

Pairing(s): Kid AU! Intrulogical

TWs: Remus being Remus [though not overly so, he’s like, 9 here], some swearing

–

Remus Castillo and Logan Smith were two very different children; former was creative and bursting with chaotic energy, while the latter preferred to be more logical, more stable. One studied hard into the night despite his young years, the other decided that a good time was filling a blender with crayons and silly putty to see what would happen. Both attended different schools, lived a good distance apart, and neither of their families knew the other existed.

What could possibly bring together such opposing forces?

If your answer wasn’t being forcibly dragged kicking and screaming from the local museum by security for tampering with the exhibits and screaming about historical theft, then congratulations; you’re most likely still sane.

How did these very different children meet, you ask?

The story began on a Friday lunchtime - as all good stories often do - when Sanders Elementary and Faraday Academy For Gifted Children both booked their museum visits for the same time slot. Thankfully, the museum staff speculated that they could indeed handle two classes of fourth graders at once - those poor, unfortunate souls - and decided to start both classes off on either sides of the museum with a little overlap.

Logan entered the foyer with his peers, gazing around at the array of trinkets and treasures adorning the space. Though he hungered for knowledge of all kinds, his heart was set on the cosmos, reaching for a copy of the museum’s map when his hand was blocked by another. He recoiled and turned to face the other; a boy with tanned skin as opposed to his own pasty complexion, with wild green eyes that bore into Logan’s own, and a grin like a shark about to snap Logan’s hand up in it’s jaws.

“I call dibs, four eyes!”

Logan huffed, straightening his glasses, “There are plenty of maps to go around, there is no need for rudeness-”

“Why do you talk like you’ve got a stick up your ass?”, the boy asked with no hint of remorse nor shame, “Just talk like a regular kid, jeez!”

Logan was flabbergasted. No one had ever talked to him like that before. Then again, no one ever really talked to him in general. Perhaps that was why his lonely little brain could only think to stammer out,

“Who ARE you!?”

The boy roared with laughter, “Wow, thats all you have to say!? And they call ME weird!” , he shot a hand out towards Logan’s, not removing the one touching the map, “I’m Remus! What’s your name, frankenstein?”

Logan huffed, “Logan Smith. And you know,”, he began, puffing his chest out proudly as he yanked the map away, “Frankenstein was the scientist, not the monster, therefore, you’re not insulting me-”

Without hesitation, Remus leant into Logan’s space and licked the map, causing Logan to jolt back and drop it. Picking up his spoils, Remus chuckled manically, “You look smart but you’re super dumb. Frankenstein IS the monster, dumbass, that’s the whole point.”. Without waiting for Logan’s rebuttal, Remus made his way back to his class, leaving Logan to frustratedly grab another map and return to his class, unaware of the string that formed around his pinky…

The tour was everything Logan had hoped for; an informative romp through space and time, enjoying the sights of the planetarium and a walk through a tunnel lined with geodes. And yet, all Logan could think about was that stupid boy who stole HIS map. Hmph! How dare Remus call him stupid! Whatever, at least they would stop soon to have lunch in the Polar Exhibit and he wouldn’t have to think about-

Oh god dammit.

As they entered the wide circular room, he laid eyes on the boy from before pretending to have gotten his tongue stuck to the giant fake iceberg in the centre of the room. Cheering him on was a gaggle of other children while their teacher seemed more content to just eat his own lunch and try to pretend it wasn’t his problem. Logan huffily stormed over to the nearest empty seat and popped open his Big Hero Six lunchbox, ready to moodily munch his jelly sandwiches when a painfully familiar voice stopped him in his tracks.

“We meet again, professor!”

Great.

“Remus.”, Logan hissed, though he tried to maintain composure, “A pleasure, I’m sure but I must be-”

“- crazy to run away from your soulmate?”, Remus finished, leaving Logan, once again, speechless.

“E-Excuse me!?”

“Check your pinkie, dingus.”

Logan checked and finally noticed the string, and to his horror, the end of it that tied itself around Remus’ pinkie.

“Looks like you’re stuck with me for life! Unless I die, then you’re stuck with my corpse. Oooh! Maybe you can bring me back to life! Really earn that Frankenstein nickname-”

“This HAS to be a mistake!”, Logan squeaked, flustered and shocked by the news, “There’s no way YOU are my soulmate!”

Logan made eye contact with Remus and for a moment the boy looked hurt, but he plastered on a grin and poked Logan in the arm, “Nope! Fate thinks you’re my future husband, so suck it!”

Groaning, Logan let out an exasperated sigh, “Fine, then I suppose you should tell me about yourself, Remus.”. Logan would - for eternity and a day after - deny that the smile Remus gave him made his little heart flutter for the first time.

As the two ate, Remus went into a long tangent about his life and Logan found himself absolutely fascinated.

Remus Castillo had a twin brother, Roman, who enjoyed Disney movies and being “an overly wordy drama queen”. They had a single father, much like Logan’s own, whose wife had apparently decided she was destined for greater things that didn’t involve unplanned twin boys (Remus’ words, not his). Logan listened as Remus told him all about his family’s culture, having moved from Aguascalientes to Florida a year ago for work related reasons; retelling fond memories of watching the parade of Calaveras along the Avenida Madero with his father and brother each year. Logan found Remus really enjoyed a mixture of colourful and morbid subjects, each tangent sending Remus on a fun winding road down memory lane or through a vague memory of some educational book.

Logan Smith had wanted nothing to do with the boy who’d licked his hand and stolen his map, but as lunch ended and both classes were being called away to their respective classes, he found he didn’t want to be separated from Remus.

Very apparently, Remus didn’t want to either. If they way he was gasping Logan’s arm and hauling him towards the class from Sanders Elementary instead of his own was any indicator.

“Come on! You can hang with us! Roman won’t mind! And my buddy Remy’s lotsa fun too-”

“Remus Castillo, stop right there.”

Remus indignantly ignored his teacher, plowing through his sentence, “You’ll LOVE my class, they’re all weirdos like us-”

“REMUS!”, barked his teacher, already done with the nine year old terror, “You let that boy go this instant!”

Remus defiantly clung tighter to Logan’s arm, “No!”

“Remus Castillo, you’re to let go NOW.”

“But he’s my soulmate!”, Remus yelled, causing his classmates to chatter excitedly. It made Logan feel a little self conscious, but Remus didn’t seem to care, “Pleeeeease let him come with us!!”

His teacher rubbed his temples as if it could massage the exhaustion away, “That’s nice, but you are NOT going to cause more trouble, soulmate or not!”

By now, even the children and teacher from Logan’s academy were watching the commotion. It came to a head as Remus’ teacher tried to separate the two of them, earning the tiniest war cry from Remus as he stomped on his teacher’s foot and clung fully to Logan like his life depended on it.

“I’M NOT LEAVING WITHOUT HIM! I’LL STAY HERE UNTIL WE’RE A GROSS MUSHY PILE OF SKIN AND BONES IF I HAVE TO!”

With that pleasant image in his brain, Logan decided to perhaps appeal to his own teacher,

“Miss, can Remus perhaps stay with our group so we may avoid further-”

“Absolutely not,”, she turned up her nose at Remus’ display, “Our school has a reputation to uphold, I will not have it sullied by such a rude child.”

Well that backfired. Now both teachers were having to try and separate the two of them. It took two of the museum’s security personnel to finally haul Remus off of Logan, carrying the writhing child as they assured his teacher that they’d put him in the tantrum room. With the way they handled his feral yelling and attempts to grab at any nearby exhibits for something he could use to bash them with, this probably wasn’t their first Rabid Child Rodeo.

Logan watched dejectedly as they hauled his soulmate out of sight while his teacher ordered him to get in line as they continued their tour. He couldn’t focus on any of the various bewitching artifacts that the guide presented to them on their tour of the ancient world though, all he could think about was Remus. Alone. Stuck in some room. Missing out on the exhibits. Missing him.

“....Emile?”, Logan asked the boy standing to his left.

“Yes, Logan?”

“I’m about to do something very, very impulsive.”

“.... Okay?”

“And reckless.”

“...Right-”

“In the name of fate.”

“........”, Emile sighed, “What do you need me to do?”

“Either talk me out of what is likely a terrible decision that will without a doubt go on my permanent record and possibly disappoint my father. Or encourage me so that I may spend time with my soulmate for as long as possible.”

Emile shook his head, “Well, if cartoons have taught me anything, it’s that you’re gonna go for it no matter what I say so...”. He placed a hand on Logan’s shoulder, “Make it good, Logan, I wanna remember the day the untouchable Logan Smith lost his mind.”. With a shared chuckle, Emile let him wind up for whatever he was about to do, while Logan waited for his moment. The tour guide was gesturing to an exhibit of ancient Mayan armour when Logan chose to strike, raising his hand while Emile awaited the fireworks show to come.

“Sir? I have a question.“

“Of course, what is it?”

“Did the museum ask permission to have that armour?”

The guide looked confused while Logan’s teacher looked ready to have an aneurysm.

“I… don’t understand what you mean. Anyway this-”

“I’m merely asking,”, Logan interrupted, ready to keep pushing until he would be hauled off by security, “because I believe that if it were my culture being mercilessly appropriated and stolen from, I would be rather upset.”

“We’re allowed to have it because it’s for education-”

“But it’s still stealing. And stealing is always wrong, correct?”

“Well, it-”

“It’s a yes or no question, please answer as such-”

Remus hadn’t expected company in the tantrum room, but he wasn’t complaining as Logan was marched in, looking positively proud of himself in spite of the way the security guard nearly tossed him inside with obvious frustration. With a bright grin, Remus pat the beanbag next to him, positively writhing with unbridled joy, “Spill! What’d you do?!”.

Logan tried to play stoic and prideful, but the excitement cracked through in his voice, “I merely inquired as to why museums considered their historical thievery to be ethically justified until the tour guide got angry and attempted to ignore me.”. “Sick!! Then what!?”, Remus’ delighted eyes met Logan’s with a similar sparkle of mischief.

Logan chuckled as he admired their string of fate, as people called it, slowly pulling his eyes from it to meet Remus’ again, “I screamed. Loudly. For quite the duration. I must say, I’m rather proud of my own lung capacity.”

Remus rolled his eyes, but there was a fondness in it.

“Naturally, security came to try and calm the situation.”

“And then they brought you here?”

“No, they attempted to calm me down”, Logan snickered, “But, one of them put a hand on my shoulder rather rudely. So I bit them-” “YOU BIT ‘EM!?”, if Logan could bottle the light that radiated from Remus there and then, he would have, his own smile growing while his soulmate’s grin threatened to tear through his cheeks, “Logan, mi alma, you’re insane! I love it!”

“Mi alma?”, Logan queried, his cheeks losing the great blush war as his face radiated a nice rosy crimson.

“Oh, right!”, Remus explained, “It means ‘my soul’, it’s what people call their boyfriends ‘n’ stuff back home. I figured since you’re my soulmate, it makes sense to call you that!”

For a moment, Remus faltered, “Uh…. if you don’t mind I guess? It’s whatever, I’ll stop if you hate it-”

“No, no, I rather appreciate the sentiment,” , Logan awkwardly smiled back at Remus, “Mi alma?”

The wilder of the two threw his head back in a roar laughter, “Man, your pronunciation sucks! And that’s an easy one!“, he teased as he shuffled his beanbag closer to Logan’s and continued with a wild smile, “Looks like I gotta stay with you for sure now and make sure you get it right! You’re stuck with me, Nerdy Wolverine!”

It would be hard work convincing his father to let him move schools to be with Remus, Logan knew that. Despite the fact his father adored love in all forms and regarded the bond of soulmates as sacred, Logan knew it’d logically be a hard sell to ask his father to not only pull him out of an expensive academy, but also to have him possibly move home or make a rather lengthy commute.

But as Remus’ had met Logan’s, the latter found himself locking fingers with his wild soulmate, banishing that thought while they still had time together. Whether it would work out right away, after a couple of months, or even over the course of a few years, they’d make it work.

“Falsehood,”, Logan smirked, “I believe it’s you that’s stuck with me.”

-----------

Okay, this one’s the cutest thing hands down. I’m so proud of this one! As a tidbit, I had it in mind that their single fathers were Janus for the twins and Patton for Logan.

@tsshipmonth2020

Taglist: @somehow-i-got-an-account @cateye-glasses

#intrulogical #logan sanders #remus sanders #tsshipmonth2020 #soulmate september #my fics #fanfics #theyre so cute i cry #also incase its confusing #i figured that in this universe #people probably still get married and such like #to people who arent their soulmates #if they feel they want to just settle down but that they won't meet their soulmate #so thats the explaination for Janus being a single parent #as for patton #i like to thing he just adopted logan

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pellucidity-is-me · 3 years

Text

On Comparing Two Werewolves

Summary: Another scene from my fanfic (link in blog description) that can work as a one-shot. Dumbledore returns to his office the night before Halloween, argues with a few portraits about Remus Lupin’s place in Hogwarts, and decides to take a closer look on his own past with Fenrir Greyback.

Wordcount: 4396

Dumbledore returned to his office, humming Benny Goodman's Sing, Sing, Sing. He looked around and smiled at all the decorations on his walls. The group of Gryffindor boys calling themselves the “Marauders” had snuck into his office and decorated it as a little Halloween practical joke. It was very advanced magic (highly impressive for first-years), and it would have fooled anyone else. But not Dumbledore—and he was going to let the prank play out. It was harmless, after all.

Dumbledore removed the portrait-coverings from the walls. The portraits found it terribly annoying to be covered up like that, and Dumbledore did like having their input... most of the time. However, many of them held very hostile beliefs towards werewolves, and Dumbledore didn't want Remus to hear any of it. Remus had, of course, probably heard it all already. But the boy was eleven years old, and Dumbledore wanted to let him be a child as long as he could.

Even if it meant having his office expertly decorated for Halloween.

Especially if it meant having his office expertly decorated for Halloween.

"They've decorated your office," Eupraxia Mole said sternly from her portrait-frame. "A couple of boys. I think there were three. One of them was the werewolf." Dumbledore noticed the contempt with which she said the word and raised an eyebrow.

"I am aware, Eupraxia. And I do not see it fit to discriminate against Remus when you are quite literally a portrait. You're not even a living being, and I do not need to argue with you."

"The audacity!"

"I'd say you weren't fit to run this school if you weren't the best Headmaster we've ever had," said Everard, twirling his moustache. "I trust your judgement, even though I do not trust the boy."

"Thank you, Everard."

"I was a Healer before I was Headmistress, you know," said Dilys. "I've healed a few, and they are not completely ill-mannered, to my knowledge. Most of them seem to be normal at first. It is society, I believe, that drives them to be the monsters that we believe them to be. Watch him carefully, Albus. It is still possible that he will go down that path."

"Very insightful, Dilys."

"Half-breed, that's all he is," said Dexter Fortescue. "They all end up the same! Why you would put the school in danger by allowing him in, I have no idea! You ought to just put a stop to this nonsense and put him out!"

"You've heard our conversations, Dexter. He is no more dangerous than you or I."

"Whiny, snivelling little brat if you ask me," said Phineas Nigellus Black. "Doesn't seem to pose much of a threat. It's Sirius Black I'm worried about. I would recognize his voice anywhere, and this hijink will be reported directly to his mother. If he were anyone else then it would be acceptable. But he has a responsibility, as heir, to act his age. I've heard Walburga rant about him—he's a Gryffindor."

"No harm done, Phineas. I find him to be a bright and entertaining boy, myself."

"Of course you would," said Phineas snidely. "You let a literal monster into Hogwarts. That never would have been done in my day. It wouldn't have been done in anyone's day. There's a reason it's never been done before."

"Remus is an eleven-year-old boy. There is no reason to be afraid of an eleven-year-old boy."

"How do you know he's not a senseless monster? You have no proof," Euphraxia argued.

"Monsters are not pleasant, clever, kind, and mild-mannered," said Dumbledore evenly. He was getting a bit frustrated now. It should be such a small thing, letting a werewolf into Hogwarts. The portraits only disliked the idea of it because it had never been done before. It was difficult to talk with paintings that were stuck in the past, could not grow, and could not mature. Dumbledore again wondered why he was doing it.

"He's faking it." Euphraxia blew out a puff of air and let her portrait-y lips flap a little. "I can't believe you can't tell. He's not a normal eleven-year-old; he is a monster assuming the shape of an eleven-year-old, pretending to act as any other child would. It's obvious, Albus, that he's lying. You saw. He nearly lost control that one time. Had to stop, breathe, and take up his façade again. Remember?"

"He was stressed. I would have stopped to take a breather, myself. And, forgive me for saying so, but I excel at reading people. He is not pretending to be a person." Really. The notion was ridiculous. Remus was good at a great many things, but pretending to be a person for six and a half years was not something that he could do. It wasn't something that anyone could do.

"Don't get defensive, Albus," said Dilys. "We are only trying to protect the school. That is our duty, after all. I am inclined to agree with you, but I would be cautious if I were you."

"Thank you, Dilys. I accidentally allowed myself to forget that you are only portraits, and that I cannot easily change the mind of a painted inanimate object."

"I had no idea that you were so irresponsible," said Phineas, "letting my descendant go bad like that."

"What was I meant to do?"

"Re-sort him. Put him in Slytherin. That House will lead him right."

"The Sorting Hat does not agree."

"You mean the inanimate talking hat?"

"I see you've heard of it."

"This school is going to go up in flames!" Dexter continued. "A werewolf running rampant in a school full of children! I may be a portrait, but I've heard of the deeds of Fenrir Greyback! Mark my words, that boy will go bad!"

Armando Dippet cut in for the first time. "I remember Fenrir. I taught him, though he didn't go by the surname 'Greyback' at the time. You taught him, too, Albus. Quiet. Soft-spoken. Like the Lupin boy."

"Not all quiet teenagers are the same person, Armando."

"I know, I know. But I see my colleagues' point. I never would have imagined Fenrir to grow up the way he did. Something snapped, Albus. Something changed. He wasn't the same after being bitten."

"He became bitter because of a tragic event. I can't see Remus taking that route."

"And I couldn't see Fenrir doing it, either. I advocate for equality, of course. But I don't think you should have let Lupin into the school."

"And you," said Dumbledore, picking up his quill, "are only a portrait. I do not wish to discuss this any further. I make the decisions. You have all made your opinions clear, but my say is final. Sirius Black is a Gryffindor, and Remus Lupin is a Hogwarts student. And remember: you all are sworn to secrecy about his condition."

"Condition!" scoffed Dexter. "What a euphemism! It's not a condition, nor is it a sickness... it's a way of life! It's a species!"

Dumbledore closed Dexter's portrait with a snap. "I would like some peace and quiet. Do not make me permanently remove your portraits from my office."

The portraits were quiet (most of them even left their frames, perhaps to sulk somewhere else), and Dumbledore finished composing a letter to the Minister. But something niggled in the back of his head. He remembered Fenrir, of course. He had gone to Hogwarts. He had been human at the time. But what had he been like? He had seemed like a normal student. Dumbledore had never paid much attention to him.

Dumbledore rifled through his bottles of memories and found what he was looking for. He poured it into the Pensieve and entered the memory of one of his classes. Fenrir Greyback was sitting at a desk, his head bowed over a book and his fingers tapping on the desk impatiently. Dumbledore bent next to him and tried to remember.

It was almost unnatural to watch this boy—whose face was now constantly in the Daily Prophet—who was now one of the most feared people on earth. He looked so young and innocent: he was hardly the same person. It was no wonder that no one ever recognized him after he went bad. Dumbledore himself hadn't believed it; when the name Fenrir Greyback had become popular amongst fearful wizardkind, Dumbledore had thought that it was simply someone with the same first name. After all, he'd taught multiple Fenrirs. He'd even entertained the notion that the name was completely fake, or that he hadn't taught Greyback at all... he'd never once made the connection until he had seen that 1965 photograph of the man, and it was hard to believe even then.

Dumbledore studied the young Greyback's face, but could find no trace of Remus Lupin in his eyes. He simply looked bored, and Dumbledore could hardly fault anyone for being so in the middle of Transfiguration class.

Fenrir was quiet. Hardly ever spoke at all, in fact. He didn't spend any time around peers in his own House—he spent more time with the Gryffindors, in fact, than anyone else. Fenrir's chosen company reminded Dumbledore of James and Sirius, in fact. But he was always an add-on; someone who never had nor was ever considered a "best friend". He was just... there. Quiet. He reminded Dumbledore more of Peter Pettigrew than Remus Lupin, if Dumbledore was being honest with himself.

Dumbledore could hardly see the current Fenrir Greyback in the boy's appearance: the man who had grown out his nails and hair, who had embraced his condition and used it to become more wolf-like and intimidating. This eleven-year-old boy looked... sweet. Happy. Had he changed? The boy stood up and walked over to young-Dumbledore after class ended. Dumbledore only had to search the depths of his brilliant memory for a moment before he remembered this conversation.

"Professor Dumbledore," said the young Fenrir Greyback, his eyes bright. "I forgot to do my homework again."

"And what were you doing instead, Fenrir?" It was always so unnatural, hearing his own voice in a memory.

"I was... er."

"Yes?"

"I dunno, sir. Sleeping. Reading. Outside. I just didn't feel like doing it."

"First year is an excellent time to start applying yourself, Fenrir. Habits are formed when you are still young. Do you realize that you have not turned in a single homework assignment since school began?"

"Yes, sir."

"Why are you here?"

"Sorry, sir?"

"Why are you at Hogwarts, if you are intent on shirking your responsibilities?"

"It's not like I'm not learning the spells. I can perform them. I just don't want to do the written homework." Now, that sentiment reminded Dumbledore of those of James Potter and Sirius Black. But still not Remus.

"Which will help the spells to stay in your long-term memory," Memory-Dumbledore said. “We teachers rather know what we are doing."

The memory faded and reformed, and Fenrir was now in third year. Dumbledore looked on as Fenrir spoke to Armando Dippet, who looked thoroughly frustrated with the child.

"Fenrir," said Dippet, not unkindly, "You are still refusing to apply yourself. What do you plan on doing after Hogwarts?"

"Don't know, sir," Fenrir said dismissively, "and I don't care. I'm meant to be doing something more than sitting still and doing homework."

Dumbledore was almost amused despite himself. Well, that ended up happening, didn't it?

The memory shifted again, and Fenrir was laughing with his friends... running and chasing them around the Hogwarts grounds... playing catch and Exploding Snap.

All monsters had started out as boys and girls, hadn't they?

Dumbledore remembered a little more of Fenrir now. He hadn't been able to sit still for the life of him. He used to tap the desk with his fingers so loudly that the children sitting next to him would be driven to madness. He held grudges. He had gotten good enough grades, but only ever ended up doing enough homework to squeak by when exams rolled around. He had been innately interested in Defense Against the Dark Arts and was a decent duellist.

Dumbledore could see some traits in Fenrir that might have contributed to his current state. He was resourceful and cunning, yet didn't often think before he acted and was wont to give into current desires rather than make future investments. He seemed to value a "pack" setting—he was fiercely loyal to those he cared about and didn't seem to care whether anybody else lived or died. He didn't seem to show much empathy, save to a few of his closest friends, but he didn't exhibit a lack of empathy either. He was just... there. A student.

Could Dumbledore imagine him going bad? Sure. But people went bad all the time. Anyone had the potential to go bad; it was only a matter of choice.

This boy had been bitten by a monster shortly after leaving Hogwarts (according to Dumbledore's recent calculations), was shunned by the wizarding community, went through unimaginable pain every month, and had eventually decided to look after his own desires rather than the needs of others. Dumbledore could see him doing that. He could see many people going down that route.

But while Fenrir had been self-centered because of his condition, Remus remained others-centered.

No, that wasn't quite right in all respects. It was right in hardly any respects, actually. Fenrir had focused on others as the object of his hate. Remus had focused on himself. Remus never got angry with others for his suffering—not for long. He seemed to quite loathe himself on occasion, but almost never others. Remus was always focusing on himself, it seemed: he pitied himself, blamed himself, and overall thought about his own troubles quite a lot. It wasn't always a strength, but it was undeniably Remus.

Fenrir, alternatively, considered himself better than others—with or without the lycanthropy. Remus considered others to be better then himself because of the lycanthropy. Funny how that worked out.

They were different people, Dumbledore deduced. Greyback was a monster. Remus was not.

He had already known that, of course. And he was thankful for it.

But looking into Fenrir's young eyes, so full of life and energy, he couldn't help thinking of Remus'—the dead opposite. Remus always had a tired look to him, looked so much older than he really was, was much too mature, and had grown up before his time. Why did Greyback get a childhood and Remus did not?

So was the mystery of the universe.

Dumbledore resolved, then and there, that he would never let Remus Lupin go bad. He had allowed Grindelwald to do so in his childhood. He had already made the mistake of letting someone's faults take over until that person was no longer who they once were. He would not let the same thing come to Remus. He was going to invade the inner workings of the universe and fix things—that was his responsibility as someone who was both powerful and intelligent. Dumbledore knew how to fix things, and he was going to do it. He simply couldn't sit idly by and watch Remus' world burn.

But Remus didn't really need his help, did he?

He returned to his office, where all the portraits were sleeping—with the exception of Armando.

"Greyback, hm?" Armando asked. "Have you considered?"

"I have. My mind has not changed."

Armando chuckled. "Albus Dumbledore, changing his mind. That will happen the day that a Welsh Green becomes Minister for Magic."

"On this matter?" Dumbledore said. "Not even then."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There was one more memory that Dumbledore wanted to view, but he waited until all of the portraits were sleeping. He fished the vial out of the cabinet and poured it into the Pensieve, slightly dreading it. But it was perfect for Halloween, wasn't it?

And then there he was. That night that he had been out on the streets, walking on the cobblestones and singing to himself, enjoying the cool air and the streetlamps. His hair had been a little darker then, and his eyes a little brighter. It was only about five years ago, but it felt like an eternity.

Fenrir had been a werewolf now for... let's see, if he was eleven in 1948, and bitten at age eighteen, and now it was 1966, and he was about twenty-nine now... eleven years. Less than twice the amount of time that Remus had been a werewolf: present-day Remus had been a werewolf for six and a half. But Dumbledore didn't want to compare the two more than what was necessary, though he knew that it was inevitable.

Dumbledore saw his memory-self pause and look around. When Dumbledore heard a strange sound and he couldn't tell where it was coming from, he had a ritual of sorts. First, he would look up, because that's what the average person would least expect. Then he would look down. Then he would look to his left, because he was right-handed. Then he would look to his right. He watched his memory-self do all of this, and when he was doing the final step—spinning in a circle—he noticed the source of the sound.

It was Fenrir, of course, shrouded in a black cloak that was so ripped it barely covered him. Memory-Dumbledore did not recognize him at first. "Hello?" he said, drawing nearer. It wasn't until the thing looked up and met Memory-Dumbledore's eyes that he realized. Memory-Dumbledore recognized Fenrir's image from the papers, so he drew his wand and trained it on the creature, ready to attack if need be. "Fenrir. Fancy meeting you here."

Fenrir smiled, and both Dumbledores noticed his teeth—sharp, pointed, and stained with red... Very Halloween-y, thought Dumbledore, and also mildly disturbing.

"What are you doing out here, Fenrir? Do you need assistance in getting somewhere? Azkaban, perhaps?" Memory-Dumbledore pretended that he was not repulsed. Memory-Dumbledore imagined that it was only tomato juice or something on his teeth. Even Memory-Dumbledore, though, knew that this wasn't the case.

"Dumbledore. Long time no see." Fenrir wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. His eyes were not those of the eleven-year-old boy at all. They were more dangerous. They were bloodshot. They were narrowed. Wolf-like was the first word that came to mind. Dumbledore's eyes drew to Fenrir's hand, which sported long, curled nails. He realized with a jolt that Fenrir had bitten Remus Lupin only about a year prior.

"You look a little worse-for-wear, Fenrir," said Memory-Dumbledore. "I deeply sympathize." Memory-Dumbledore did not yet know the extent of Fenrir's exploits. He remembered still the young Fenrir, full of life and a deep desire to do the right thing... Memory-Dumbledore had stupidly believed that he could somehow turn Fenrir to his own side, even though he'd been Voldemort's weapon for years now.

"You can't sympathize," said Fenrir. His voice was deep, gravelly, and scratchy, almost like a sinister record-player. He pronounced his R's in the back of his throat and ended his sentences a bit abruptly. How had his voice changed so much in a few short years? Remus' voice sounded nothing like that, so it had nothing to do with the lycanthropy. But Clark Darnall pronounced his R's that way—had Clark picked it up from Greyback or had they both gotten it from another place? "You can't sympathize," said Fenrir again. "You have no idea what I've been through."

Memory-Dumbledore, indeed, did not know. But current Dumbledore had an idea.

"I'm sorry, Fenrir. Is there anything I can do?"

"'Course not. It's not a problem anymore. I made the best of it. Made do with what I had. You know how it is."

"Hm. Have you been hurting anyone?" Memory-Dumbledore's hand twitched on his wand, knowing the answer—but he wanted to hear Greyback say it; perhaps, he thought, it would drive the man to conviction....

Fenrir was quick to confirm, and there was no guilt in his voice. "No more than they've hurt me. You've heard the stories, haven't you? You know what I've done."

Memory-Dumbledore looked at him intensely. "Fenrir," he said, "I am a very powerful wizard, you know, and I will not stand for that." Fenrir eyed Dumbledore's wand warily, but Dumbledore was not budging. "There is a way out, you know... we can keep you safe on the full moons. You are infamous for attacking children, my friend—but it's not too late to step away from all that... you'll have to pay for your crimes, of course, but we can keep you hidden from the higher-ups at the Ministry, who no doubt want to execute you. You're not trapped in this lifestyle."

Memory-Dumbledore had suspected that some of the rumors about Fenrir were unfounded, but he'd been wrong. He'd felt sympathy for the boy who had attended Hogwarts not too long ago, but he'd been wrong. Clark Darnall was in Dumbledore's ranks, and he'd warned Dumbledore of the horrific acts that Fenrir had committed... he'd already spoken to Dumbledore about Remus at this point. But Dumbledore had still thought, somewhere, deep down, that Fenrir could not have changed so much from when he was a boy—that he was only evil because he had not been given a proper choice—and Dumbledore had known that, if he could convince Fenrir, then he'd automatically have all of the werewolves in Britain on his side... countless lives could be saved.

Dumbledore was a brilliant man, yes, but he was sometimes incorrect. This was one of those times.

"Dumbledore. You know me; you taught me. Do you really think that it's so easy to convince me? You underestimate me—I wouldn't leave behind all that I've built, not for the misguided lie that there's a place for me amo-" Crack. Fenrir had, intelligently enough, Apparated away in the middle of his sentence. Nay, the middle of a word. Memory-Dumbledore had not seen it coming, and that was a rare occurrence.

Memory-Dumbledore marveled at the boy's—no, the man's—no, the monster's cleverness, and resolved to keep an eye out and figure out what he was up to before he could hurt more people. It wouldn't be that difficult. Memory-Dumbledore was already, so to speak, following the scent, and he was sure that he would have plenty more chances to apprehend the werewolf. Memory-Dumbledore walked away, less of a spring in his step, but confident and relaxed.

Current Dumbledore made his way over to the place in which his memory-self had once stood and peered down the alleyway where Greyback had been standing. A dead rabbit, still warm-looking and covered in blood, lay on the ground.

Dumbledore's stomach roiled a bit, but at least it wasn't a toddler.

With that comforting thought in mind, Dumbledore removed himself from the memory, sat down on an armchair, and opened a book.

He did not read it, though. His eyes skimmed over the words and his hand idly flipped pages, but his mind was back in the alley, watching the boy-become-monster.

The pieces clicked together in a way that they were wont to do in Dumbledore's keen mind. They were pieces that had come together in the past, yes, but now they did so even more securely.

Ten years after Fenrir was bitten, at age twenty-eight, he had attacked Remus. And he'd been savage for a long time before that. Remus had been a werewolf now for six and a half years: when Fenrir had been a werewolf for six and a half years, he had probably already begun attacking people.

The portraits had been wrong, obviously, and this proved it. But now Dumbledore thought about why.

It wasn't because Remus was a better person than Fenrir (though that was undoubtedly the case). It wasn't because he had somehow escaped whatever disease had made Fenrir go bad. It wasn't because the lycanthropy somehow affected him differently. So why had they turned out differently?

A mixture of personal choice and better circumstances, Dumbledore decided.

Remus was doing so well because he had such good parents—who had taught him right from wrong, who had spent time with him, who had loved him unconditionally. He would be further shaped by his professors and friends. He would learn, he would grow, and he would continue to live in human society—as he had done for his whole life. He'd made a choice early on to be this way, and now his choices were manifesting themselves in his personality. That was what made a person human (in the abstract sense of the word), not a species.

It was likely that Fenrir had not had systems of support like Remus did. That didn't force him to become what he was, of course, but it made it much more difficult. And then Fenrir had made a choice to do this—to give in to things that he knew were wrong—to let the worst parts of him invade his life and personality—thus Fenrir Greyback was born. Would things have gone differently if his parents had loved him unconditionally? Had they? What if Fenrir had still been in school (though Dumbledore knew that Dippet would not have allowed that)?

But one thing was for certain: it had nothing to do with lycanthropy. It was not biological. It, like many other things, was a matter of choice. It was one’s choices, after all, that showed one who they truly were—far more than their abilities.

And that was why Sirius Black, who had grown up a descendant of Phineas Nigellus, was a Gryffindor. That was why James Potter, who loved everything Gryffindor, was a Gryffindor. That was why Peter Pettigrew had chosen friends that did not match him in either ability or personality. It was all personal choice applied to surroundings: it wasn't even werewolf-specific. No one was biologically a monster.

Dumbledore had already known all that, but it was nice to put it into words.

Everyone starts out as children, he mused as he fiddled with a Disillusioned bat decoration hanging off the wall.

And as the memories replayed themselves in Dumbledore's mind well into the night, he meditated once again on the fact that having such a brilliant mind and a tendency to stick his nose in other people's business was both a blessing and a curse.

#albus dumbledore #fenrir greyback #remus lupin #fanfiction #marauders era #character study #cool little chapter i wrote #halloween

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is-this-normal-to-think · 2 years

Text

Male, Age 28:

Attention seeker, have the need to be alpha, to make people think i am strong and they should respect me and not make fun of me. Get mad if someone disrespects you or does not listen to you.

Bed wetting until I was in the 10th grade. Traumatizing.

Alopecia Totalis for the last three years was traumatizing as well along with umbelical hernia surgery. Felt like no one would like me again.

Have a binge drinking problem. Tried AA, left is.

I like to start something but don’t follow thru.

Narcissistic personality or am i just using it as an excuse for my behavior or thinking there is always something wrong with me?

All about me (i), sob story my problems and my issues. Making everything about me.

Best friend’s girlfriend situation, I liked it for a moment when se said she is in love with me recently. But acted as if I didn’t remember.

I get angry when someone interrupts me or doesn’t listen to me.

Angry as a child. Always had huge fights with mom.

No motivation or self control.

Always thinking about myself, my problems, my issues

I am always searching for a relationship that I had with my first best friend when young. My best friend use to play doctor with me. We took our clothes off and he humped my a** and them came on it. Is that why I prefer one close guy friend who could be like him? New friends changed me to have that friend ship again, they are like a family and i feel protective of them, possessive even. I feel i have been humiliated all my life (it was all my doing) or am I sounding victimy? I feel the need to be punished, taken advantage of. I want that being macho feeling back, being confident but feel like a fraud. I punish myself for who i am. I feel entitled to be taken care of. I act arrogant and bossy. I browse grinder when high on alcohol and weed enticing people and asking for dick pics and when i am coming out if that trip i start looking for female matches and marriage prospects and this forever lasting love story. I feel the need to be used and abused sexually by men. Then I fantasize about falling in love with these hot women. Then i keep wondering why i don’t meet women i high state. What could i do to become a billionaire without work but that what would the success mean? Then i wish I could have the most amazing body or be the best at something. I feel like i am always dreaming of being successful and getting there by hard work but then I remember i dint have it in me I might say i will then i know i will quit half way. Then I fantasize about being used by my guy friends outside. Then i feel bad about some flaw if mine and blame it fir being a reason in not getting girls. Do i think of myself as a sub.

I was so horny one day I opened my friend shorts when he was sleeping and licked his thing a-bit. I met a-lot of men on websites and hav had nasty sexual encounters with them. Always when I was high in alcohol.

Stole a seniors expensive electronic stuff and threw it away then blamed it on my friend.

Cheated on my girlfriend.

Feeling very lonely and unlovable, acting desperate for love. I feel very emotional.

I take everything too personally.

Afraid of embarrassment.

Cant think of any good qualities of myself only bad

I am selfish and only try to do things that are convenient and easy for me

Hurry Sickness, want to get things done quickly without spending too much time thinking

Reluctance to ask or answer questions because I might come across stupid

Insecurity about friends, paranoid about everyone talking bad about me.

Lacking motivation to do things that I know are good for me.

Low self esteem.

Low confidence.

Imposter Syndrome.

Unable to participate in social discussion

Unable to form opinions about things

Drinking to a point of black out and texting ex girlfriends or crushes often

Smoking pot and watching p for hours to pass time, it’s becoming a habit, skipping work from home and exercise. Feel immense shame.

Not feeling excited about things, unhappy with whatever I do, feeling unsatisfied

Get bored easily of job or any activity

Generally not in a mood to participate in group activities, skip because I don’t feel like it

Self critical and over thinking almost everything

Judging people that are younger than me or less qualified

Power hungry and cater to people who I think have more power

I feel like I am not smart enough to take on a difficult task or understand things

Depend on others feedback or approval to solve problems, look for validation and praise often

Find myself thinking about past mistakes and embarrassing moments

I get defensive very quickly, all emails I read feel like they are trying to put me down

Unable to stick to my plan for the day

Think a lot about what other might think about me in doing almost anything

Criticize myself for not being bold and fun

Find myself fantasizing about being humiliated and used se***ly by the same sex

Doubting my sexual orientation but know for sure want a same sex gf

Stressing about the future always, feeling inadequate about my contribution to society but not motivated enough to do anything about it

If given a chance I would lie on my bed, drink and smoke up, watch disgusting porn gangbang or domination get off too imagining the girl in the scenario is me and browse grindr on the side to delay orgasm. Play with toys. If I am well groomed and very drunk I would call someone over to give them a nasty bj or have them fuck me while playing in oil.

This is me and my mind. Not sure what to make of it.

#twisted thoughts #how bad is it #mental help #am i crazy #insecurity #nasty pig #alcoholic #biseuxal #why am i even posting this #why am i thinking about this #why am i like dis

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