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#trying this Journaling thing
sunnylune · 2 years
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I didn’t do my normal routine today I wanna take a nap so bad but I’m trying to fight through it and accomplish one goal of putting my clothes away
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divorcedfiddleford · 4 months
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hold shifty gentle like hamburger
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positivelyadhd · 4 months
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Friendly reminder that you do not have to buy loads of new planners/journals or try new productivity systems in the new year.
You do not have to try and reinvent yourself overnight.
Change and growth happens slowly, and you are allowed to take your time with it.
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bluerosefox · 8 months
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Of Godsons, Fruitloops, and Lois 'I will drag all secrets out into the sun' Lane
Danny loses his parents due to their own lack of safety in the lab (death? Coma? People finally putting their foot down about the Fenton's endangering their kids? Idk pick). Jazz can't take him in due to being in college and living on its campus (and he didnt want to force her into an apartment just to keep him, he saw the prices and knows she'll have to work to make rent) and Danny fears the only place he can go to is... Vlad. (Sam's parents would never let him live with her and Tucker's place doesn't have the room)
Vlad's been lording it over Danny, smug about it all, after all he IS Danny's godfather and he has the space and money to provide for the boy in his time of need.
Only, when digging into Danny's files, his social worker discovers Vlad isn't Danny's godfather, he was meant to be but the Fenton's forgot to send/sign in the final paperwork (even if those documents were the only contact they had with Vlad over the years before the reunion)
No Danny's godparent, the person to take him should anything happen to the Fenton's is....
Lois Lane.
His mom's childhood friend.
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the---hermit · 3 months
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Misty mountains are always the best kind of mountains.
08|01|2024
I have only one week before my first exam of this exam season and I am so done. Due to the fact that I did not get more then two consecutive rest days during the "holidays" I am starting to feel burned out and I am not even half way into this. After my exam next week I will have a little over two weeks to fully study for another exam and I want to scream. I need to not thing about studying for a few consecutive days but I don't know how. And the week after my February exam new classes are starting again ugh. My physical health in the past two months has really fucked everything. On top of this can I say that I don't feel prepared at all for next week? Ugh this is not how I wanted my week to start.
calm hobbit winter activities and productivity:
read first thing in the morning
daily Irish practice on duolingo
finished my first outloud review for my exam next week
continued writing down the key phrases for each duolingo unit I have completed in Irish
continued my French review on duolingo
allowed myself to stop working earlier
updated my reading journal
crocheted a bit while rewatching the witcher (I am in need of fantasy to escape the horrors of reality)
📖: A Day Of Fallen Night by Samantha Shannon (I am two chapters in and I am already addixted to the story I need to know more)
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aurosoul · 9 months
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Modern Paleolithia (part 1 of ?)
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pekoeboo · 3 months
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purification is a painful, painful process.
rough sketch based on a scene in the Ravenwood RP. Antony is confronted with a situation in which he has to utilize his divine power in order to save Melvin - who had been terribly poisoned. the only one strong enough to clear the poison from his system is Antony, but the boy's abilities come with the caveat that his physical body still isn't entirely capable of handling prolonged and intense bouts of purification for any extended length of time; even despite having been reborn as a demigod.
so that power breaks him from the inside out - just as it did back in Atria. he does manage to save Melvin, but at the cost of his own life... though no one is aware that he still retains the ability to come back from the dead by that point. ends up being quite a shock for everyone when he turns back up a few days later, naturally. ><;;
tbh, some pretty awful repeat trauma for Antony. poor kid doesn't deserve it, but the angst is just too good to pass up imo :0
please do not remove caption or repost. also on deviantart
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bluebird-ascended · 5 months
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back on my star stable bullshit.
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hesperidia · 3 months
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fav journal pages from january🌒
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sideblogforweirdshit · 9 months
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Whump Reference Post for Fingernail Removal Torture
 Hi whump writers of Tumblr! I recently made a little introduction post in which I said I’d be making reference posts. This is one I already had typed up, because for some reason this was the first thing I thought of.
There are no images attached, but I’m putting the rest of the post under a readmore since the majority of the content is semi-graphic written description of the how-to’s and wherefore’s and such of fingernail removal torture.
To be clear: I will be going into as much depth as I possibly can without using images. The content of this post will be purely academic. There will be no artistic liberties taken. This post is meant to be as accurate to (and descriptive of) a real-life situation as possible.
I hope some part of this post eventually winds up being a helpful resource for someone!
1) Not as painful as it’s made out to be
-It's painful, but definitely not to the extent it’s shown in movies or whatnot. A lot of the "pain" comes from the shock factor of seeing your body without something it’s always had, as well as the inherent "wrongness" that comes with experiencing a part of your body being removed.
2) There is very very thin film of skin between the fingernail and the finger.
-If one is careful in removing the fingernail by peeling it back slowly, one can preserve this thin piece of skin. -If one pulls the fingernail back quickly and without taking care, this thin film will rip, and the nail will pull away with bits of flesh attached.
3) The flesh under the nail will be vertically striated.
-If one uses the peel-back method, and is careful to not let the thin film of skin between the nail and the flesh rip, the skin/flesh underneath the nail will be as visibly striated as the fingernail itself. If you look closely at your fingernail right now, you’ll see that there are many tiny grooves from the tip of your nail to the base. This is true for all human fingernails. If the nail is peeled back with sufficient care, those striations will be echoed on the skin underneath the nail.
4) The  “peel entirely off” method versus the  "peel back and then stop" method versus the "pull out entirely" method.
-The “peel entirely off” method is how I will refer to the method of grasping firmly the tip of the fingernail in some sort of vice (usually pliers) and then peeling it backwards, moving the pliers from the nail at the tip of the finger towards the hand itself. Using this method, the nail will remain firmly grasped in the pliers the entire time. The movement of the pliers only stops when the base of the nail is ripped entirely out of the finger. This will necessarily result in ripping out a fair bit of skin past the cuticles, as the technical base of the nail (aka “nail matrix”) is generally around half a centimeter hand-wards past the cuticles (and follows the curve of the nail, so is deeper than the cuticles as well). Due to the nature of skin, I would expect a tear reminiscent of an extremely deep hangnail that goes from the base of the cuticles to at least halfway between the first and second knuckle (and at most goes to the second knuckle). In this case, it is not guaranteed that the nail will grow back. There is a chance it’ll come back, but there is also a chance that the nail matrix is permanently damaged and will not be able to grow a new nail. Since every human is different, there’s not an exact science to determining where a person’s nail matrix is before it’s ripped out. A (very) general rule of thumb is to follow the curve of the existing fingernail, and draw a point on that curve before it hits bone. Obviously, this is extremely subjective.
-The “peel back and then stop” method is how I will refer to what is essentially the previous method, but one stops before the nail-ripping goes past the cuticle and snips off the peeled part, leaving a milimeter or so of fingernail existing on the nailbed. In this case, it is assured that the nail matrix is undisturbed, and the fingernail will grow back. This is the method I will assume is taken for the future steps
-The “pull out entirely” method is how I will refer to the situation where one grasps the protruding part of the nail firmly, and applies force away from the hand and in the direction the finger points. In this case, there’s a large chance that the nail will rip. This depends largely on the care taken with the pulling object (pliers, usually) to grab the nail exactly parallel with the sides of the pliers. If any part of the pliers digs into the nail at a singular location, this will create a point at which pressure will build up, and the nail will likely rip at this location. The strength of the individual’s nails also affects the ripping. The individual’s nail strength can vary based on nourishment as well as on a general person-to-person basis. Personally, I do not recommend this method.
-If one wants to make the removal definitely permanent, there’s the possibility of peeling it back all the way down and out, and then chemically burning where one assumes the nail matrix is. (Some serious irl hikers do this to their toenails on purpose, to reduce the chances of getting ingrown toenails from being laced into hiking boots for days on end.) Removing the nail permanently will obviously reduce the opportunity to peel it off again, but will give a permanent Horrific Aspect to the victim.
5) For the first three days, the exposed flesh will be painful.
-The entire tip of the finger will be a constant deep and throbbing pain. Any deviation from this norm will be an increase in pain, never a decrease (save medication or an ice-bath-for-full-minutes immersion to the point of numbness).
-Any contact with the exposed nailbed will increase the pain. Knocking the exposed flesh against anything, even extremely gently, will result in a visible bright red welt under the thin layer of skin (bright red on light skin only! on darker skin, the welt will still be visible, but will show as a dark red-brown). It is a visual similar to an extremely tiny, non-protruding blood blister. Knocking the nailbed against something less gently will result in fully scraping off that delicate outer layer of skin.
-Using the finger for anything will be painful (though not unbearably so), and it may even be painful to bend the finger at all.
-Any moisture on the exposed flesh (including anything from regular water to antibiotic ointment) will hurt a lot. This will intensify the throbbing at least twofold across the entire nailbed, and will also result in an amount of stinging as if one had just realized one had been stung by a bee.
6) For treatment and healing thereof (if quick healing is desired)
For those first three days, any bandaid application is inadvisable -The exposed flesh will be so tender and vulnerable that any bandaid (even the non-stick kind) will stick to the exposed flesh and rip it upon removal. I can only assume this is in part due to the curvature of the finger, which means that any wrapping-around type bandaid will inherently put pressure on the nailbed, resulting in sticking.
-To promote healing, the first three days should be without any sort of covering on the wound.
After the first three days, a scab will form. -At this point, the pain will be much less. it might be uncomfortable to bump the nailbed into objects, but it will not be the same pain as in the first three days.
-The wound will also be much less sensitive to moisture.
-When the scab starts to crack (usually a vertical crack), one should apply antibiotic ointment and a bandaid. At this point in the proess, it is desired for the scab to remain as consistently moist as possibly. This will help the scab fall off when it is ready to do so.
-At this point, the finger can be used normally (within reason) without much (if any) pain.
After two or three days with the bandaid covering, the scab will start to fall off.
-One may expedite this process if one is careful.
-At this point, the skin on the nailbed is sensitive to the touch, but not to the point of pain.
-There will be some dry, loose skin around the edges of the nailbed.
-The previously visible striation will no longer be there.
-Pressure on the exposed nailbed will not be necessarily painful, but it will feel decidedly Odd. Though not painful, It will be an extremely sensitive area.
-The nailbed will be a delicate pinkish color.
Around a week after the initial scab falls off, there will appear to be another scab. It will be a relatively thin layer of dry, dead skin.
-If the nail is allowed to grow normally, it is likely that it will cover this second scab before it has the chance to fall off.
-If the stub of the fingernail is trimmed routinely, it is possible for the scab to fall off, leaving only relatively smooth unblemished skin where the nailbed is. This skin will be roughly the same color and texture as the skin on the tip of the finger. 
7) The rate at which fingernails grow back is extremely slow
-The average growth rate is about 3.5 milimeters per month. There are several factors that can cause this to vary:
-Fingernails on the dominant hand grow back faster than the nails on the non-dominant hand.
-Fingernails grow back faster than toenails.
-Nails grow back faster in warm weather than in cold weather.
-Depending on the nail and the aforementioned conditions, one can expect a total regrowth time of anywhere from three to six months (or more).
8) Life Without Fingernails
-Fingernails affect a large part of our everyday lives. We mostly use them when we’re manipulating objects with our hands, and we use them to scratch. It doesn’t seem like a lot, but it’s a lot. It’s hard to explain just how weird it is to not have fingernails to someone who’s never experienced it, but here goes:
-Fingernails are the Hard Backs used to brace our fingers against a hard shell when we manipulate something with our hands. If you pinch your fingers together right now, you’ll see a white band along the top of your fingernail. This is where the pressure from the pinching goes; it’s braced against your nail.
-Picking something up without fingernails feels extremely odd the first few hundred times you do it. It takes a long time to get used to it.
-Writing is even worse. Without the hard shell backing your fingers, the pencil tends to slip out of your grip more often. If you usually have long enough fingernails that you balance your pen/pencil on them, you’re extremely likely to have the pencil completely slip out of your grip multiple times a sentence.
-You don’t realize how much you unconsciously scratch itchy parts of your body until you no longer have the ability to do so. If you’re only missing a few nails, you have to consciously adjust your hand so that you can scratch with the existing ones. If you’re missing all of them, you have to actively find an external object to alleviate the itch.
Some places on the body one can scratch with their teeth, but for most places, one needs to either find an “itch stick,” or rub that part of their body on something scratchy. A lot of clothing is scratchy enough to work for this. One needs to learn how to vary the pressure so that one can alleviate the itch without tearing through the skin or scratching themselves.
Pros:
-Body horror
Fingernail removal is a more mentally significant mutilation than cuts or burns, if only because it draws on the "that was there and now it's not" aspect of body horror.
-Can be inflicted more than once
Since fingernails grow back, they can be removed again and again and again. Though it may take some time for the nails to regrow, it isn't even close to the type of permanent that’s chopping off a finger or a toe.
-Helplessness
Since it takes a few days for the nailbeds to heal enough to be able to use one's fingers, a complete removal of all fingernails will take away one's ability to use their hands. Even after this initial period of extreme sensitivity, the lack of fingernails is something most people aren’t prepared for. The previous section explaining how fingernails affect daily life is significant here.
 Cons:
-Can’t repeat often.
Once a fingernail is off, it's not coming back for at least three months (likely longer). It doesn't have the relatively quick reset time that burns or cuts do.
-Relatively short amount of time in pain
All of the pain is in the first few days. It is inconvenient afterwards, but there is little to no pain at this time.
-Amount of care needed
One needs to be relatively careful inflicting this. Fingernails are not as resilient as you'd think, and the likelihood of them ripping before you can finish ripping them off is fairly large if you're not being careful.
If you have a short-tempered or impatient whumper, this might not be their particular wheelhouse.
 Conclusion
Overall, I’d say that the effectiveness depends entirely on the desired result. The time it takes for the fingernails to regrow versus the amount of time in which the subject is in pain is not a very productive ratio, so if you’d want your whumper doing a particular torture regularly, I wouldn’t recommend this.
However, if the whumper’s goal is to appeal to the body horror aspect without permanent damage, this is a great option. The fact that it takes nails so long to regrow gives the victim a sense of horrified freakishness. It also has the added benefit of reducing the victim’s maneuverability far after the fact.
The semi-visible nature of this method of torture can be effective if one wishes to horrify characters outside the whumper/whumpee relationship. You don’t immediately look at other people’s hands when you meet them, and as such it might take a while for outside characters to notice the lack of fingernails (especially if they’re past the three day mark). But once they notice, it will be hard to look away.
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hersurvival · 29 days
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Fear -
I have always feared so much,
Too much
Not for what may happen to me,
I have come to terms with the possibilities,
I know I am small, I am weak,
Just a girl
I have never been ignorant
But you?
Are you okay,
Are you really okay?
Because I cannot stomach the possibility
Of anything happening to you
But..
Has my fear for you been born
From fear of myself getting hurt again?
Because I am okay,
I am always okay
Only if you are okay
That's all that matters to me,
Not myself, only you
But I think for myself, as well
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carefulfears · 9 months
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i hope someday he reads this and knows
(the x files little green men / ? / the x files closure / ann brashares my name is a memory / the x files dreamland ii / anne carson antigonick / the x files my struggle i / jandy nelson i'll give you the sun / michael dickman killing flies / the x files amor fati / the x files closure script / the x files conduit, redux / the x files conduit script)
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lonelyapothecary · 7 months
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does anyone have recommendations for journaling / commonplacing / hobonichi notebook blogs or youtube channels to follow? my dash and sub box are looking empty.
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csms-jpg · 2 years
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Scraps, organized
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silenthillbunni · 2 months
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🐇💭
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softhe4rted · 10 months
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pages from my journal
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