#trying to find context for something and i just clicked a random video and this like slapped me in the god damn face | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

hello-nichya-here · 8 months

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So I've asked you this in private, but I thought the rest of your followers should see this as your thoughts are quite entertaining.

What is your opinion on the idea of stuff like this being the only acceptable method of pornography?

*cracks knuckles* Let's get the easiest part out of the way first.

Saying Something Is "Female-Friendly" Is Just Marketing

I'm sorry (not really) to be the one to state the obvious, but at best labeling any kind of pornography as "female friendly" means "most of the people that enjoy this are women" - which is very different from saying "ALL women are into this" or "No guys are ever into this." It's the good old "this cartoon is for boys, that one is for girls."

It's not a radical statement, it's not revolutionary, and it is at best a morally neutral mention of a random statistic that is being used to find the best demography to advertise to and at worst just pointlessly trying to force people into boxes with that they are/are not allowed to enjoy based on their gender.

Don't believe me? Well, too bad because this image you're seeing is literally part of a facebook ad for a porn site. The name of the site and of the artist they were working with can be seen at the top in the uncut version. Like I said, it doesn't matter how "radical" these claims of "this product is made for/by X minority group" pretend to be, at the end of the day it's just marketing.

"Oh, but people obviously support the message it's sending anyway!" True... but that message is at best filled with poor word choices, and full on terrible at worst.

Consent - Important In Real Life, Meaningless In Fantasy

In the context of this being an ad for a porno site, I think it's safe to say "Consent-based" is just a way of assuring viewers that every actress was fully consenting to every sexual act and was not pressured into anything in any way, which is the bare minimum.

HOWEVER, I've seen plenty of people misunderstand or flat out lie about the "consent-based porn" term means. Like I explained, it is meant to be about the ACTORS consenting - but their "characters" don't need to consent to anything because they are not real. A hardcore CNC fantasy with the actress pretending she doesn't want the sex/is not enjoying it while her co-star pretends to force themselves on her is STILL consent-based if the actress playing the victim role can stop the scene for literally any reason and even walk out completely if that's what she wants.

Unfortunatelly, because kink-shaming is still very much a thing, people act like that is crossing a line and totally counts as legitimate assault - even in videos that the actors before AND after the scene mention how excited they are, how great it was, openly discuss their kinks, etc.

Nobody needs to watch something so extreme if they don't want to, but I have a serious problem with people saying stuff like that shouldn't ever happen. If the people involved in the role-play are doing it WILLINGLY and can back down at any moment, then it isn't in anyway immoral.

Sexual Attraction Is NOT The Same As Respect/Acceptance

Once again, I'm sorry (not really) to be the one who has to tell you guys this, but "representation" in porn is meaningless because:

1 - It doesn't matter how many porn videos there are of any minority group - each individual person picking something to watch will only click on the ones that show people with the body-types and genders they are attracted to, doing stuff they personally find appealing.

2 - "This kind of porn is popular" does not in anyway translate to "this is what society deems morally acceptable". A ton of homophobes LOVE lesbian porn. My country, Brazil, has always had porn with trans people and crossdressers as one of THE most popular trends - yet we are also the country that commits hate crimes against them the most, even when compared to places where being trans or crossdressing is literally a crime that earns you an authomatic death sentence. Incest porn has been obscenely popular everywhere for decades yet most people STILL find the thought of real-life incest absoutely repulsive.

3 - "I am not usually/ever attracted to people of group X" doesn't authomatically mean "I HATE people of group X." Just cause I like red-heads and brunettes, doesn't mean I'll be commiting hate crimes against blondes. If that was how things worked, sex-repulsed asexuals would hate literally all of humanity.

Wanting porn to be inclusive is utterly pointless because sexual attraction is 100% morally neutral. Which brings us to...

What Even Counts As "Objectification"?

Once again, if by "Don't objectify people" we are talking about how "Just because you hired this person to star in a porno, it doesn't mean you can just ignore their consent, comfort and safety for the sake of your fetish" then yeah, that's the bare minimum.

However, if you're saying "don't objectify people" as a way to say "Don't make the video too graphic/obscene/kinky" then we absolutely have a problem here because, my guy, it's porn. It is all about letting us see hot people looking slutty and fucking in great, explict detail.

"Oh, but these sexual acts are humiliating and gross!" To you, maybe. But not to the actors that are very willing to do it. I've had some of my fetishes be called both deeply disturbing and gross AND the most vanilla shit ever. That kind of stuff is 100% subjective, and the only people who can say "I felt disrespected/unsafe/abused" are the actors themselves. Once again, if THEY consented, there's nothing wrong with it regardless of it appealing to you or not.

"Oh, but we'd be wasting an opportunity to educate people/give X group more representation"

If I ever click on a porno and there's a two minute intro with the actors, both belonging to some minority group, talking about how one of them is also historian and the other is a astronomer, I will STILL only care about seeing them fuck even though I love both history and astronomy - not because I don't think they can't possibly know what they're talking about since they are sex workers or because of some kind of bigotry, but because, surprise surprise, I only check out porn sites for the porn. That's what EVERYONE does.

Hell, bad porn can be used to educate people. 50 Shades is awful and a ton of ignorant people think it is 100% accurate to how BDSM actually works. However, this has led to entire groups of people who are actually kinky to discuss REAL BDSM with vanilla people and educate them on how it can be a great thing. And, of course, there's people that enjoy those shitty novels/movies but KNOW they are not accurate representiation of BDSM because they are aware that PORN IS JUST FANTASY, NOT A GUIDE TO HOW SEX SHOULD WORK!

"But it's so shallow to focus only on these people's looks and know literally nothing else about them!"

Yes, and? Being "shallow" isn't always bad, and feeling attracted to someone solely for their looks is not a crime.

Don't get me wrong, I'm a goddamn fanfic writer and I was once the classic "teenager that totally thinks she'd have a chance with that famous rockstar that is old enough to be her dad", I KNOW that the thought of a real connection (emotional, intelectual, etc) CAN be hot - but there's nothing wrong with "These two people whose names I don't even know look hot, I wanna see them fuck, then I'll go take a nap and never think of them again." These porn stars are not crying themselves to sleep because people whose faces they've never even seen don't know anything about them other than how they look without clothes on.

"Female" Pleasure - Yet ANOTHER Hollow Marketing Term!

Seriously, that last one REALLY irritated me because it's one of those things that tries to sound progressive, but are meaningless at best and downright sexist at worst, because it implies:

1 - There must be a strict separation between "female" pleasure and "male" pleasure. A sexual act cannot possibly be enjoyable for both the guy and the girl, and gender prevents men and women from EVER being into the same thing (as a woman that finds more porn that fits my taste in "male-centered" sites than in most "porn for women" sites, this one gets on my nerves).

2 - Pleasuring one's partner cannot possibly be enjoyable - so, say, a girl cannot possibly enjoying giving her boyfriend head, and vice versa.

3 - Sex is a competition and women NEED to win because "female" pleasure is apparently more moral than "male" pleasure (hence the "ALL porn can and should be 'female' friendly")

4 - ALL women are turned on/turned off by the exact same sexual acts, and the level of pleasure they get is always exactly the same. Preferences are not individual and never change over time. (Seriously, a woman directs a sex scene between two actresses, the editor is a woman, and all the viewers are women - which one will speak for her entire gender and decide what "female" pleasure looks like? You see how silly this sounds?)

Conclusion

Sex and sexuality can never be over-simplified like that, and fantasies are just harmless fun.

#asks #sex positivity #sex positive #pro kink

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luxlightly · 1 year

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An explanation of Tumblr's apparent obsession with crabs, for new and returning users:

For context, there's a popular video of a diver interacting with a bunch of crabs which has been dubbed over with a TTS voice meant to represent the crabs, saying things like "crab. Crab. Crab. Hand. Frighten! Hand? Hand? Crab. Crab." This video was making rounds around the time of April fool's day earlier this year. Tumblr, along with other social media platforms, also famously celebrates the deaths of famous bigots and colonists with the music video for the song "Crab Rave".

Every year, Tumblr does a joke for April fool's day. One year it was a fake election between various lizards. One year it was a "clippy" knockoff named "Coppy"(who apparently is still around and doing a show with Ryan and Shane from Watcher? I don't know the details there). Usually the joke is somewhat topical to something going on in the world at the time.

For this year, Tumblr's joke was making fun of the fact that so many websites are essentially a bunch of buttons trying to trick you into pressing them for the ad revenue. Turning on the joke mode filled your screen with various mostly useless buttons all begging you to "click!! Engage!! Increase engagement levels! Generate revenue!!".

To I think everyone's surprise, including the devs, the joke buttons were WILDLY popular and basically unanimously enjoyed by the userbase. Turns out that just saying "click this. You get nothing in return and we profit from it", which was just a joke about the increasingly opaque and difficult to navigate state of Internet advertising, actually is 100% more effective at getting people to click it than lying about what it does.

Most notably among these many buttons was a button that just said "Summon Crab" which, when pressed, spawned one crab emoji on your dash. Scrolling over it would show an alt text that read things like "hand" "crab" "crab", a reference to the popular video. Clicking on the crab would turn it into a money bag emoji, to continue the joke that these things are all just there to generate ad revenue. Clicking more summoned more crabs. A small counter kept track of how many you'd summoned and clicked.

People LOVED IT. People went crazy summoning so many crabs that it would freeze their whole browser or that they could no longer see their dash through the horde of crabs. It was fun! It was cute! And it was ultimately harmless. It was just nice to have a website add some fun things to click that weren't there to trick you. They're just crabs and you can click them.

This only was for one day, however, and many people who weren't online that day or were only on mobile didn't get to see or play with the crabs and were disappointed, as were the rest of the userbase who honestly enjoyed it and begged the feature be added to Tumblr normally.

With the success of tumblr Blaze, which allows you to inflict posts on random people's dashboards who don't follow you, affectionately called "Tumblr PvP mode", Tumblr eventually implemented a way to pay money to not only give yourself the ability to summon "dash crabs" for 24 hours, but also give them to someone else.

And now apparently the joke checkmarks can also randomly become dash crabs.

So long story short: Tumblr made a joke referencing a popular video and people enjoyed it so much the site decided to make it a feature they can access in return for giving the site some money. And now everyone is just running with the joke because we think it's delightful and we're happy that the site actually seemed to listen to what we wanted and asked for and we want to encourage the more transparent and honest "this is useless but we think you'll find it funny" marketing Tumblr has started to lean towards.

#long post #Tumblr #dash crabs

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vonlipvig · 8 months

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played a bit more of immortality today, and.......it's not clicking for me, guys. don't get me wrong, i'm definitely intrigued by the story of the movies (well, i've only explored the first one so far) and the story of marissa herself, i know so many people praise the game for how brilliant it is, but the gameplay is just not doing it for me, i fear.

like, playing 'her story', it just made sense, yknow? the police database, the scattered interview videos, the way you searched for key words or phrases, it made for a very methodical, detective-like experience that i really enjoyed once i understood what i was looking for and how to look for it. it was satisfying to find more pieces of the interview because there was a method to it (and sure, there were moments of chance as well, but because for the most part you could rely on context and vocabulary it was still rewarding).

here, i just... don't know what i'm doing, to be honest. i'm trying to be methodical too, sticking to only one movie at a time, going from person to person, prop to prop, clapboard to clapboard, but it's just so random. i could just sit here and click on marissa and go through the whole thing, with no sense that i'm actually solving something.

i'm gonna keep playing for now, but i'm kinda disappointed i'm not vibing much with it after all the hype.

#immortality #tagging just so if anyone wants to leave tips or anything please be my guest #like i was trying to find the first clips with the auditions and i just kept clicking on chairs and going all over the place...#like that was stupid #but yeah idk. FANTASTIC acting and writing and overall work on this though. it's really beautiful and i love FMV games.#but yeah maybe not for me? idk #according to jules

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alittlefrenchtree · 3 years

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I have a PR question. How do we know if a non-paparazzi photo is staged/arranged or not? I’m talking about random pictures someone takes of him and his supposed dates. ☺️

I don’t think you can know for sure, Nonny. That’s kind of the beauty of it 😊

If you’re interested in joining today’s class and read a little more about stuff, click below.

Disclaimer 1) I really shouldn’t be any kind of authority in terms of pr and of famous people pr but since many people here are presenting things as true statements without knowing anything about anything, it’s only fair that I tried to explain some stuff while knowing, like 5% of stuff.

Disclamer 2) I’m not really interested about talking specifically about Timmy’s situation. His dating life is either a private thing that shouldn’t be commented as a public topic or a pr thing that I don’t want to encourage it by commenting. Or both and see all of the above.

What I’m interested in, is talking about pr strategy and public images in general ways, why it’s there and how it works and that’s about it.

That being said, let’s start today’s class.

My belief when it comes to pr and related stuff is that knowing the ‘truth’ is less important than having as much knowledge as possible on the subject. It’s kind like math. If you have an equation and someone gives you the answer but you don’t know how to get to there yourself, knowing the answer doesn’t get you much. But if you have all the keys to resolve the equation, you can try to find the answer on your own. And, even if you don’t find the answer, knowledge will help you understand the logic of it. Why it’s there. What it says.

So what’s our equation today? A content of one (or more) public person/people taken from a smartphone camera of someone we don’t know.

Smartphone content isn’t inconsequential. Using ‘low’ quality camera instead of a professional one says something different. It’s supposed to bring more authenticity, closeness to the audience, spontaneity. It feels truer because you could be the one taken it, since there is a large chance you own a smartphone when you probably don’t own a professional camera. It has to be genuine if you could be the one taking it, right? You would have any interest in taking part of something fake, wouldn’t you?

It can feels logical like everybody knows that or it’s not really important but it’s something that is actually thought through by professionals when it comes to create content. There is that brand of cooking videos (you know the one you stumble on when you remember Facebook exist and that show you recipe that always look really easy to make at home and delicious (and also overly greasy and/or overly sugary) that was explaining how they could totally shot their videos in professional kitchen with high quality stuff but choose to do the complete opposite instead? Because their goal is to make their audience feel like they can make the recipe at home so they shot their videos on small kitchen with smartphones.

Creating professional content on un-professional devices is a real thing. Half of the business of influencers people is built on this. To think that the strategy has stayed only in the influencers people business would be very naive. In the famous people world, content created on smartphone is used for these bts vibes. We’re showing you what you’re not supposed to see so you feel like a part of it. This is how the famous people you love are in real life, when the camera is off. Except they’re not off, since you’re seeing it.

You’re not part of it, we’re showing you just enough for you to want it, to envy it but you’re not.

Let’s go back to the casual pic of that public person. Truth is, you could be taking the picture yourself and still don’t know what you’ve taken.

Say I’m well known top model who has signed a new contract with a clothing brand. I have pap walks to put the clothes in online articles and magazines. Of course pap pics also ends up on social media but they aren’t the type of media design for the platform. Pap walks create some distance from the audience because they often looks like real photo shootings. Part of the audience is defiant towards it. Either it’s an invasion of privacy or it’s staged. It’s not that positive.

What’s positive is me going out in my brand new clothes and cross path with people who recognize me. They wouldn’t know anything about my contract but would do all the job themselves without knowing they’re doing it. They would take a picture from afar, maybe a selfie, share it on social media with a cute context. A story. Write about that cute dress I was wearing, what my coffee order was (omg, she likes almond milk like me!), what’s the interaction was like. Was it staged? I like that dress and I really wanted to go for a walk and for that cup of coffee. And the fan was nice, everything was genuine. Yet, I still went out to be seen and the clothing brand is happy.

The problem with that scenario is that I’m not in control of anything. Maybe nobody will recognize me or care enough to take a picture or something went wrong with the fan/person I’ve seen and instead of a cute story I have someone insulting me all over the internet. Lot of time lost, some risk taken, not much result. Wouldn’t be easier to take a friend or a PA who would snap a few pictures and we’ll be home in 5 minutes, job done? Pr team get the pics and share them with the world with one of the twelve stan accounts about me they’ve been running for years. Even write a little story to go with it if they’re inspired enough. If you think it’s too much, you’re naive. Everything that can be faked or staged to save time, money or give you more control of the result, has already been faked and staged by someone. Multiple someones.

My take on this would be, the bigger you are, the more money you have to carry on your shoulders, the less you let things to chance and the more you take control of your narrative. PAs, agents, PR people,… When you have a whole team around you, you don’t (overly) pay them as secretaries. They’re not just here to handle your planning and bring you coffee or you would only need one person, not 7 of them walking around you all the time.

But what if there is no contract? What if I’m just wearing that dress because I like the brand? Or maybe there is a commercial deal with the brand but I have no obligation to wear it on my daily life or been seen with it. Wouldn’t the pics look exactly the same to an outside eye?

Of course I can go low key, move only inside cars with tinted windows, don’t walk around in popular places and only go in isolated, private places. I can. But maybe sometimes I’m tired of it. Maybe I just want to meet my non-famous friends where they like to go and fuck it if I’m seen there. Pics taken by people would look like they’re staged. Except maybe they’re not.

But if I stop caring, I indirectly accept that however I’m seen becomes part of my public image. And if it has become part of my public image, I should accept that it will be monitored to some extend by my team, and eventually by myself.

So how do we find the answer? We can’t. Based on a single photo alone, I don’t think we can. Unless you’ve seen contracts or you know the person personally, you can’t really pretend what’s going on being doors. Even so, would you know everything? Sometimes a contract is just a contract. Something a commercial deal is also a friendship. Sometimes a real friendship became public et become part of your public image. Sometimes you don’t really feel like talking about commercial deals with that cousin you’re seeing 5 times a year and doesn’t really care about what the details of your fucked-up public job are. So even your own family doesn’t know the truth about everything.

What we can do, if we’re interested in doing it, is look at every piece of content and ask ourselves. What are we seeing? How is it made? For what purpose? How that type of content is used in different contexts?

With more context, you can make interpretations for yourself. Will everybody will have the same? Of course not. Mathematicians, physicists, chemists, spent their time disagreeing on interpretations of stuff, how can we expect people to agree on the interpretation on something based of human behavior?

From what I’m seeing, PR conversations seem to be going on in many (many) fandoms. From a PR point of view, I don’t think it’s not a bad thing, whether what we’re talking about is real or fake in the first place. Having people think it’s fake and people think it’s real makes the conversation going. They’re always be people who would want to defend their point of view, their opinions, their favorite celebrities. Names will keep being mentioned, pics shared, word spread. SEO (Search Engine Optimization) and algorithms are happy.

My best advices, I guess, is, first, remember that you aren't obligated to have opinions on everything or to care about every aspect of the life of an artist you love, even when media and people would like you to think you are and you should. There is even things, such as dating life of other people than yourself, you shouldn’t really have opinions about at all.

If romance, love and sex keeps getting used to sell, it’s because it works. Think about all the books, all the movies, all the stories where a love story is integrated in an action movie/horror story/sci-fi scenario even when it has nothing to do with anything. Romance/love/sex sells since forever and probably for a long time. Because most people think falling in love is the main purpose of life and the most important thing in the world.

My second advice would be, don’t be naive but don’t be cynical either. Contexts and nuances are always important.

Anyways, like always I don’t have an answer and I’m barely even interested in the answer but I hope I'm able bring some perspectives to things because it’s important. More than ever, content is a tool. Since everyone is part of an audience, if not potentially part of all audiences , we should all learn more about how the tool works.

Of course i'm joking about the concept of class. I'm not a teacher. I'm only sharing some personal knowledge and opinions. I can be wrong or contested. No hard feelings against anyone.

#aflt asks #it's pr talk time again

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itmeansofthesea · 3 years

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Hope

a.n: this is literally the first fic i've written in like... 10 years. it is fluff. just fluff. for context, look up the "fleabag hot priest wedding speech." this is set after the great caravan rescue but charles is obvs not captured so this is a fix-it. the time jump was like a outlander type-thing lolol. also this was originally written with f!reader but i tried to make it gender neutral so if i missed something i'm sorry.

ships: gn!reader x Charles Vane, Anne x Max, Flint x Miranda x Thomas, Jack x himself

also, i love charles vane, and if you do too, let's chat.

tw: cursing?? tooth rotting fluff.

_____________________________________________________________

The Youtube video stopped. Max, Miranda, Jack, and Thomas wiped their eyes. James held his lovers’ hands. Anne held Max’s face. Charles just stared straight ahead.

They’d been discussing love when they came downstairs (James and Anne weren’t so much discussing as they were just interjecting at random points, Charles just scowled into his rum-spiked coffee). They walked into the kitchen and asked what the crew were talking about.

“Love,” Jack replied in a dreamy voice and with a flourish of his hand.

They just smiled and said, “fleabag. hot priest. wedding speech. Youtube it. I’m going to take a shower.” With that, they turned on their heel and bounced back out of the kitchen.

Miranda and Max were the first to move, dragging their respective partners behind them. Jack started to follow, and then shot a look back at Charles who hadn’t moved from his place at the island.

“You coming?” Jack cocked an eyebrow. He received a grunt in response, or maybe it was a “fuck you, Jack.” Hard to tell since Jack wasn’t fully caffeinated yet. “Come on.” He hauled the captain up off the stool as best he could and started pushing him toward the living room.

When they arrived, Max and Thomas were standing in front of the tc trying to figure out the remote, James lounged with Miranda at his side, and Anne watched the whole scene with a smirk. She raised her eyebrows at the two men staggering in last before scooting over to make room for them on the couch beside her.

“Okay okay wait I’ve got it- fleabag hot priest wedding speech,” Max spoke into the remote.

“Fleabag hot yeast welding speech,” Siri replied, pulling up a myriad of results that couldn’t possibly be she wanted them to see.

“I give up,” Max shoved the remote into Thomas’s chest- well, as well as she could considering he was doubled over with laughter like the rest of them. Thomas straightened up, cleared his throat, and enunciated, “fleabag hot priest wedding speech.”

The results looked better this time considering that Siri actually understood what she was supposed to be looking for. Max moved to sit on Anne’s lap, and Thomas found his way under James’s other arm while he clicked the button to start the video.

The video wasn’t even two minutes long. Charles hated the beginning- it sounded like him with Eleanor. He had doubted himself, had been creepy, occasionally obsessed with his hair (he would never admit it and hold a knife to the throat of anyone fool enough to suggest it... but it was true), he most definitely did things he never thought he would do, and it certainly had been hell.

And he had done it all more or less alone.

Eleanor was with him for every possible reason except who he actually was. When she saw him at 17, she saw the up-and-coming captain, trained by the feared Blackbeard himself, and realized that he meant business and power. Two things she desperately wanted and would do anything to get. He respected the hustle- he could understand that. But it was the way she knew which buttons to push for him to do things that he would maybe only admit to regretting on his death bed. She wanted his name, his reputation, his stubbornness, his body- but not necessarily his values or anything else that actually made him who he was. Anne and Jack saw it from the beginning, and sure he’d been slower on the uptake, but after the last time she crossed him, he was done.

Then Blackbeard returned, she returned with a price on his head, and that’s how they’d ended up here, 300 years in the future with Jack’s sibling no less. He’d seen some weird shit, but nothing like this.

They met them at the door, a smile on their face until they realized that Jack was hurt. They got the ragtag crew inside, took care of them, and in the process started to get to know all of them. He almost laughed at that- the way that they were so at ease with some of the most feared pirates in the world and they acted as if they were just random classmates of their brother's that he brought home for them to meet. They had taken the time to get to know each of them, separately and together. Anne they already knew since Jack had brought her around a few times and the two were clearly close. They'd been overjoyed to see Max and how happy she made Anne (even if Anne would never admit it).

And they started talking to him. They were curious about his life, and no matter how hard he tried to stay standoff-ish, not get too close, he couldn’t help it. Maybe it was the way that they didn’t expect anything from him. They'd told him as much one night that they stayed up talking after everyone else went to bed. (“Charles,” they giggled, “I don’t need your name. I don’t need your fearsome reputation. I don’t need your men, your ship, your money- I don’t need anything. And I don’t want it. Getting to know you,” they moved their whiskey glass to the other hand and tapped him on the shoulder, “is more than enough.” They'd gotten quiet after that, and he didn’t know what to say. He could tell they were second guessing whether or not that was a good idea, but he didn’t know how to tell them how much he needed to hear it. They gave a short nod after a couple of minutes of silence and said they hoped he slept well and they would see him in the morning. They saw him in the morning, but he hadn’t slept well.)

“It feels like hope.” The video stopped and Charles sat turning over the idea that the feeling he couldn’t quite place when they were together... it was hope. Something that he hadn’t felt in so long that he didn’t know what it was when it tapped him on the shoulder or hoped he’d slept well.

The Youtube video stopped. Max, Miranda, Jack, and Thomas wiped their eyes. James held his lovers’ hands. Anne held Max’s face. Charles just stared straight ahead... and then abruptly put his hands on his knees and pushed himself from the couch. The others watched him leave, exchanging worried glances and debating whether or not to follow him.

He knew what he had to do. So he went upstairs and knocked on the bathroom door.

“Just a second!” They pulled their towel around them, figuring it was probably just Anne telling her how mad she was that the video they suggested made her feel things. They opened the door to see Vane standing there, and if they didn’t know better they would think there might have maybe been a tear in his eye. After a second, they opened their mouth to say “Charles” but he kissed them instead. Nothing harsh, just a quick, simple kiss. Then he bowed his head, turned around, and walked away. They stood there, mouth open, not quite sure what had just happened.

“Annnnnnnnnne!” They yelled downstairs, hoping that Anne knew what was going on with her captain. She knew him probably better than Jack considering how they were almost the same person.

“What,” Anne huffed out when she reached the bathroom, clearly grumpy at being pulled from Max.

“Charles just... I opened the door and he... he kissed me,” they said with a confused look.

Anne stared at them for a second before cracking as close to a smile as Anne Bonny can manage. “Finally.”

They shook their head and blinked. “What.”

Anne just facepalmed and walked away.

They closed the door, wrapping their towel around her more tightly to try and process what happened. He kissed them. He actually did it. Holy shit. H o l y shit. They had to find him.

Throwing on some clothes, they raced out of the bathroom and down the stairs. The living room crew just watched them go, stepping outside and stopping just short of Charles’s back. They watched as they reached out for his arm, watched as he slowly turned around, and watched as they took his face in her hands and gave him a quick kiss. Then they watched them turn around and run back inside and up the stairs to dry their hair, laughing at the bemused look on Vane’s face and swearing they’d seen a small smile on theirs.

They quickly focused their attention back on each other as he walked back inside and passed them to go up the stairs.

They already had the hair dryer out, so they barely heard the knock at the door. Again, expecting Anne to tease them for what just happened, they opened it to see Charles on the other side. They clicked the hair dryer off and they took a second to just see each other. After a minute he reached for the hair dryer and asked, “May I?”

They nodded and passed it to him, settling in on the floor between his legs as he sifted his fingers through their hair and they felt the hot air on the back of their head. They noticed that he was careful not to keep the hair dryer in one place for too long, likely for the sake of his own fingers as much as their head, but they appreciated it anyway. After a couple of minutes they pulled the book they'd brought with them from the counter and started to read while Charles dried their hair, occasionally planting small kisses on the side of thier head, making them smile and curl into a ball.

And for the first time in a long time, they both felt hope.

#black sails #charles vane #charles vane x reader #miranda x thomas x flint #max x anne #anne bonny #jack rackham

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jiminieloved · 4 years

Text

For the Osaka Vlive Skeptics :)

I highly recommend you watch the Vlive in real time as you read each section so you can see my observations for yourself. If you can’t do this, I will provide screenshots of the important moments.

Link to Vlive

1. Context

Around 4:13, after goofing around a little bit and singing a song for the audience, Tae admits that he has no idea what he wants to do during this Vlive, and asks the audience for ideas. At 4:50, he reads a comment that says “Attack the next door”, and he says “I don’t even know [the members’] room numbers.”

Tae proceeds to look on his phone and locate room numbers (perhaps there was some sort of document or text that had all of the room numbers for the members). Then, he sends a text to Jungkook informing him he is coming and immediately heads to his room.

The timing for all of this is extremely fast. He doesn’t even wait a second between texting Jungkook and leaving the room, so it’s safe to assume that Jungkook didn’t text back confirming it was okay for him to come. It explains Jungkook’s lack of preparedness and haste when opening the door. He clearly hadn’t seen the text on his phone. But let’s back up.

During the walk, it is clear that Tae goes to the room directly next to his own. He doesn’t pass a single set of doors on the way there. This will become important later.

2. Tae’s Entrance

At 6:14, Tae arrives at the door and music can be heard blasting from outside the room. The song playing is “Body Electric” by Lana del Rey. It’s... frankly... a sex playlist kind of song. If you don’t believe me, give it a listen.

youtube

After Tae knocks a couple times (6:14), Jungkook yells (very annoyedly) asking who it is. You can clearly hear him quietly say “Jimin” at 6:26. Turn up your volume if you can’t hear it.

It’s pretty undeniable that he says this, however if you don’t buy it... what would he be saying? He’s in the room alone, right? So who is he talking to? He’s clearly not talking to Tae, because he thought he had to yell to be heard over the blasting music, and he said “Jimin” in a regular speaking voice.

So.... we’ve established that he said Jimin’s name and is likely speaking to someone in the room. (We haven’t proven that it’s Jimin in the room with him yet, but just wait.)

So he’s... naked? Playing sex music? With someone likely in the room with him? Aight. Let’s continue. (Devil’s advocate: he was taking a shower? And he likes to say “Jimin” to calm himself down?)

As Tae talks to the audience, there’s more flustered exclamations and banging heard in the background. Why is Jungkook so freaked out? Taking a shower isn’t a crime!

Let’s take a moment to acknowledge how amused Tae is by all of this. It almost seems like he was expecting this... That’s just speculation, though.

Anyway, at 6:50, Jungkook finally opens the door (a full 35 seconds after Tae knocks) wearing a robe that is untied, and the music is still blasting. What took Jungkook so long? He had plenty of time to tie the robe before opening the door, but for some reason he didn’t. He clearly wasn’t using that time to pause the music. What was he doing? There’s many valid explanations for this. Let’s move on.

So... Tae walks in the room, and the lights are off. Huh? That’s odd considering Jungkook was already in the room........... Maybe he was taking a nap? With music blasting, naked?

So one look at Jungkook and one of our excuses for him is already invalid. He wasn’t taking a shower- his hair is dry. (But hey!! Maybe he was napping naked with music blasting!!)

Side note, the fact that Jungkook doesn’t know the song kind of confirms my suspicions that he was listening to some sort of pre-made playlist.... just throwing that out there.

Jungkook just seems very shaken up by this whole encounter... but why? If he truly was just napping naked, I find it unlikely that he would be so flustered. Food for thought.

At 7:20, Tae gets distracted by the music, and Jungkook lowers the volume from where he’s standing, confirming to Tae that the speaker is bluetooth. Interestingly enough, he’s standing across the room. Which means his phone is in his hand/on the other side of the room, not on the little table with the speaker. We will come back to this.

So... when Tae tells him he is on Vlive, Jungkook finally gives an alibi for these weird circumstances.....

He.... was eating bread?

Let’s go over this again.

Music was blasting. Tae knocked on the door. Jungkook was very frantic, said “Jimin” in a lowered tone, told Tae he was naked, knocked items around a bunch while Tae was waiting, and then let Tae in to reveal the room is dark, music still blasting, and Jungkook had thrown a robe on without even tying it. But... he was just eating bread?

I’m sorry, none of this adds up. He could’ve said he was taking a nap, and I would’ve bought it, but there’s no reason for him to have been so frantic if all he was doing was eating bread. And why the lights off? Why “Jimin!”? Why naked??????

You could maybe argue that he was just having ‘alone’ time, and this is why he was so frantic about being interrupted.

But... here’s where we will get into the evidence (beyond him saying Jimin’s name), on why I don’t believe he was alone in the room.

3. Jungkook wasn’t alone

At 8 minutes, Jungkook goes to the nightstand to look at something while audibly chewing bread. Tae lays down on the bed, staring at the camera. The screen goes black (someone turned off a light?), a door clicks open, and you then here a startled voice... “Oh, you scared me.” Neither of them were near a door. Neither of them flipped a light switch.

(Above is Tae’s reaction to the lights being turned off/door opening.)

Tae reacts to the voice but quickly schools his features and doesn’t respond.

This is clearly Jimin’s voice. It’s a high pitched voice, much higher pitched than JK’s or Tae’s. You can hear the clear difference in voice pitch and tone because Jungkook speaks directly after ‘Jimin’ does, and... it’s just not the same voice. But hey; if you don’t buy it just based off vocal tone, let’s reason through this.

Jungkook had already calmed down by this point. He had expressed earlier in the Vlive that Tae had startled him, but had since calmed down and was rolling with the punches. He was also very audibly in the middle of chewing. Not to mention, the sound is clearly coming from behind the camera, not in front, where Tae and Jungkook were.

If you’re STILL not buying it, I will link a video that does a voice comparison of Jimin saying “You scared me” at a previous point in time. I think it will become pretty clear who spoke.

(4:20 for voice comparison)

youtube

This is pretty strong evidence, but it’s not tangible proof, I’ll give you that. So let’s keep watching.

Oh look, further evidence that Jungkook wasn’t naked to shower.

Uhh... the grainy video quality would’ve made it impossible to tell, but thank you for giving us another clue, Jungkook. His makeup was smeared... very interesting.

Now an observation...

The bathroom light magically turned on/the bathroom door magically opened? Remember the sounds we just observed hearing? That neither Jungkook or Tae were responsible for?

As a reminder, here’s what the hallway looked like when Tae walked in... (The door with light coming out is from the hallway, not the bathroom. The bathroom door is to the right of where Tae is standing. Closed.)

Another screenshot showing the bathroom light was clearly off when Tae first walked in.

Jungkook did not at any point go into the hallway to open the bathroom door after letting Tae in. There’s no explanation for this unless someone else is in the room.

They proceed to start with a karaoke song, but while the intro is playing, there seems to be something on JK’s mind.

He’s looking toward the bed distractedly. Why?

11:13, in the midst of their karaoking, Jungkook pans the phone at the perfect angle to see a white phone in the corner of the room, on the same chair where Tae was earlier looking at the Bluetooth speaker. As I noted earlier, Jungkook’s phone was either in his hand or on the other side of the room. And Tae’s phone is in his hand. Meaning... there’s just a random phone sitting in the room?

And in case you were to argue Jungkook just stuck his phone there when he was off screen, I will offer the infallible evidence that it is Jimin’s phone and not Jungkook’s. Jungkook had a ‘Space grey’ iPhone at the time, while Jimin’s was white. It is just very clearly not his phone.

Proof of this can be seen at 27:11 of this video

youtube

Moving on, another odd moment happens, though this could be nothing. It feels worth including in the scope of everything else.

I don’t even know what Tae is trying to imply by saying “Jin is taking a bath now” but directly after he says this, Tae makes a ‘pervy’ face and looks toward the corner of the room, and Jungkook looks in the corner as well. As if there was someone standing there...

Then, Tae goes on to text Jimin that he wants to visit. What the heck?

In my opinion, Tae clearly knows that someone (Jimin) is in the room with them. So why text him? Maybe to cover up for the fact that Jimin spoke earlier in the Vlive? Maybe as a way of teasing Jungkook?

Now, as Tae leaves the room, the bathroom door.... Is miraculously closed?

There’s absolutely no way either of them closed it, as they were both on camera the entire time between us seeing the door open and him walking to the hallway. The only explanation is the paranormal. Or even spookier..... Jimin.

Now, this is a point that isn’t necessarily proof but certainly adds to the entire picture of the situation that just occured. As soon as Tae leaves, the door clicks shut. (14:04). If you had been paying attention, when Tae entered the room, the door didn’t completely shut the entire time he was in there. It was an unweighted door. It seems likely to me that as soon as Tae left, Jimin came out from the bathroom and shut the door. (As Jungkook was at the opposite end of the room and didn’t seem like he was in any rush to close the door.)

At 14:14, Tae looks over toward where he came from with an extremely worried look on his face. If you turn up your volume, you can hear some men having a calm conversation, and then Jimin’s distinctive high pitched voice yelling something in a scolding kind of tone. A door slams open/shut, and Tae tells his audience that he locked himself out and he has to leave. Koreans have translated what Jimin was yelling and it is included in some video analyses I have seen, however since I can’t confirm the accuracy of these translations I won’t include them. If you speak Korean and want to give unbiased translations to what is overheard in this scene, please reblog or send me an ask! I’d love to include it.

He promptly ends the Vlive here.

4. Conclusion

So now that we’ve gone through the chronology of this, let’s just look at everything at face value.

We hear Jungkook say Jimin’s name. We hear Jimin’s voice. We see (likely) Jimin’s phone. The bathroom door opens and closes by itself, the bathroom light turns on by itself. Tae and Kook both clearly look at someone in the corner of the room shortly before Tae leaves. We hear Jimin’s distinctive angry voice after Tae leaves the room. All of this evidence in mind, I feel justified in saying that Jimin was likely in the room.

Now let’s look back on the scene we walked in on, knowing Jimin was there... There was sexy music blasting, the lights were off, Jungkook was naked, had smeared makeup, and was VERY frantic that Tae came in.

....

I think you get the point I’m trying to make here.

5. Counterpoints

Now to be fair, let’s get into a few common counterpoints I hear.

a) The bed is still made

This is a valid argument. But I mean... to me it looks like the bed has definitely been sat on, at the very least. Just because the covers aren’t untucked does not mean that all of this other evidence is worthless.

I don’t want to get graphic but there’s a lot that can be done naked in a dark room without messing up the blankets. All of this doesn’t even mean anything was “happening”, but it certainly is a scene that makes you pause and question.

b) Why would they hide being in the same room? They’re all bandmates and friends!

Uhh, okay, somewhat valid, but. Jungkook was naked. And he told us that. And the lights were off and there was music blasting. It would be VERY weird if he yelled “Hold on, I’m naked!!!” and then he let us in with an untied robe on and said “oh, by the way Jimin’s with me!”

Shan’s notes (I’m shan):

Anyway, in the process of making this I think I’ve only convinced myself even more that Jimin was in the room. I hope I’ve convinced some skeptics, but if you’re still not convinced, I hope you can at least see where we believers are coming from when we say it’s convincing!

If you are intrigued and would like to see an AMAZING analysis of this with live edits for clarity of audio and visuals (and perhaps a few pieces of evidence I didn’t talk about) I will recommend you to watch the following video.

youtube

If you’ve made it this far, thanks for reading.

Buy me a coffee if you liked what I wrote. I take requests :)

#jikook #kookmin #km #jikook analysis #jikook discourse #ask

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lawgrain · 3 years

Text

Okay hold onto your safety goggles ’m ‘bout to go off on a topic here.

I’ve seen random posts about how there's a stigma with people in ao3 fandoms. And there is. 100% so don’t get me wrong with this post, I won’t pretend that there isn’t a stigma from people in ao3 fandoms. But I am about to argue the complete other side of things real quick. Yep, I’m going into sports.

Before I get into sports I think it should be fully addressed that there is so much hypocrisy on both sides of the two very different types of fandoms, one being the types of fandom you find on ao3 and the other being sport fanbases. People in ao3 fandoms are quite made fun of for their avid fandom activites despite said passion also applies to sports fans even if its shown in different ways. On the flip side, a gross amount of people will also say that they don’t get sports and find it brutish and/or stupid. People on both sides discredit the other. So as a person who is primarily into ao3 fandoms, I thought it’d be fun to explain the appeal of sports in a way that non-sport fans would understand.

LETS GOOOOOOOO!!!!

Oh and for examples today, I’m using hockey. It’s just the one I actually know more context for.

So, let’s kick it off with a slight anecdote here. My friend and I had asked a guy about the appeal of sports to them and the answer we got was that it was for the stories. Which that didn’t quite click to us when there’s literally no story, its a game. They furthered this impression with talk of stats. In short, they explained it wrong because there are some fascinating stories in sports.

The problem with sports is that there's not an overly easy way to learn some of these stories. But they are there if you know the context. So for example, in a fandom there’s a shit ton of retribution moments. Some hag of a character finally, finally gets just the perfect way of being told off. Its goddamn wonderful and you love life just for a moment b/c that character got exactly what you’ve been dying to see the entire series. That happens in sports too bro. Because trust me, there are...

Plenty of hated players. And it is pretty damn exciting when a player who constantly plays dirty to get some karma.

But the problem is, if you don’t know the rules/watch the game enough, you’re not going to understand that your favorite trope just happened. For example, lets look at this guy:

This is Corey Perry. Now he’s not very well loved by everyone and he has also been known to make dirty plays. As in literally just hitting a person with his stick like in here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PorOu02IeUc

or here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lC6C10LYWZs

You can interpret these however you like. Either way, his playing style is part of what makes the next video here a bit more pleasing for fans. I’m going to explain context first though.

In hockey, there’s a penalty called embellishment. It’s used when a player dives on the ice or, more entertainingly, embellishes an injury or trying to make themselves look more hurt than they are. Players will sometimes try to embellish an injury so that their opponents get a penalty.

In this video Perry does exactly that. Some will try and say that maybe he is that hurt, but first consider how brutal hockey can actually be and this ain’t it, and that he is known to make some dirty moves. With that in mind, he basically pulls a Draco Malfoy with Buckbeak in this. Last thing to keep in mind, is that from what I’ve heard (but don’t quote me on it) he’s pulled stuff like this before. Now please enjoy his surprised Pikachu face at the end

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YO2F85RkJOY

Without any context, this either seems like an honest reaction or just sports eh. But with context, it’s quite fun. I didn’t actually care about the video until I found the context for it within the comment section. I initially watched it within a compilation though. It’s important to know what the penalty is apparently.

Also I will say, there are moments that penalty is actually infuriating and undeserved.

Changing topics, I can’t find a video of this (sports have an absurd amount of compilation videos but very little individual moment making things hard to find) buuuuut! There’s a moment between teams that I actually really liked when I found out the context of it. There was a fight that had started between two teams, as in the entire team went off, at a seemingly minor offense. The thing was the minor thing that happened was against the goalie and the opposing team had already done a lot of other icky thing in that particular game. Why is that important?

You don’t mess with the goalie.

It’s an unwritten rule of hockey but it’s got kind of a sweet sentiment? Hockey teams are generally more protective of their goalies. While there are definitely some volatile goalies, goalies aren’t typically going to be starting fights and are typically in less fights than the rest of the team ends up in. Also the goalkeeper is really important. Not only are they important but there's only two of them. In games where both goalies are injured and can't play, the team basically ends up screwed. The home team has to provide an emergency goalie if that happens and most the time that is a death sentence for the team. There are exceptions to that like this guy:

Which oh my gosh, if David Ayres isn’t one of the best stories in sports. This guy never played national league and was a zambodi driver for the maple leafs. Then he was brought in a the emergency player and helped beat the Maple Leafs. He blocked about three shots from the Maple Leafs, his employers, and the Canes won the game.

Point is, context makes a huge as difference in actually being able to enjoy stories within a game. Knowing how something is a karma moment, like with Perry, makes things click into place. Or knowing that a player has done something knowingly wrong like purposefully rushing into a goalie, makes you understand why people are mad about it. And people are mad right along with the players when they see that.

Same kind of stuff happens in fandom stories.

So I was actually going to add another hockey story but it’s actually really gory so I’m leaving it out. I’d be happy to make a separate post with what I was going to mention but that needs more warning than I can give here. So I’ll cut this short.

Anyway, my big point here was there’s actually some very interesting things within sports. I won’t act like everything has a deep meaning to it, but it’s a tad off to write off sports as just some guys throwing around a ball or hitting around a puck. People will watch this:

Or this:

Or even movies like these:

Because it gives the story with context in a drama filled way that’s clear to understand. Watching sports, the commentators don’t actually fulfill what people would need to understand the drama behind things. Watching sports can be just as drama filled and entertaining but you have to learn a lot of outside stuff.

Overall, fandoms of any kind are going to be similar in a lot of ways. Most don’t consider sports fandoms and the types of ao3 fandoms to be in the same field at all. And while I agree, that they aren’t quite in the same group, both can be entertaining for similar reasons. I just think a lot of people don’t get why sports are entertaining at all. I don’t argue that one has to find it entertaining or fall in love with sports now. All I’m meaning is that people shouldn’t just write off interests. People do that to regular fandoms all the time and attach stigmas to it. And because sports doesn’t feel like the same thing as a fandom, people in fandoms don’t seem to mind writing off the interests in sports in a similar manor. And people don’t always do that meanly but saying “You can like it, I just don’t get it” is writing it off to an extent. Because really, we can all get it to a certain degree even if it’s not out cup of tea.

That’s all! Again, let me know if anyone wants the random but kind of gory hockey knowledge I cut.

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trainsinanime · 3 years

Text

How to make a fake post

I just watched the excellent video by Sarah Z about fake made-up posts, i.e. screenshots of Tumblr posts that are clearly stupid made-up stories, except the screenshot itself is also fake. And that inspired me to do something I’ve wanted to do for a while: Make an illustrated tutorial on how to make a fake a screenshot of a tweet, Tumblr post or similar that are indistinguishable from real ones.

This works on desktop on any modern web browser, though the specific UI will look a bit different depending on which one you use.

Step 0 - if your web browser is Safari on Desktop

This step is not necessary if you’re using Firefox, Chrome, or something based on either (typically the latter) like Edge or Brave.

Open the preferences.

[Image description: Screenshot of Safari app menu open on macOS with the “Preferences…” item highlighted]

Go to “Advanced” (the last tab) and at the very bottom, make sure that “Show Develop menu in menu bar” is selected.

[Image description: Screenshot of Safari preferences window on the “Advanced” tab; the last item, a checkbox saying “Show Develop menu in menu bar”, is selected.]

Step 1 - Open an example post

I’m going to fake a tweet by myself, which you can find here: https://twitter.com/zcochrane/status/1406004939810295808

The specific tweet is irrelevant; this one is about programming and complains about how SwiftUI, a technology for developing Mac apps, is full of issues. It’s easiest to choose one that doesn’t have any hashtags.

Step 2 - Drill down

Now, right-click on the text of the tweet, and select “inspect element” or whatever menu item in your browser sounds the most like that.

[Image description: Screenshot of a random tweet by twitter user zcochrane (aka me); a word is highlighted, and a context menu is open, with the item “Inspect Element” highlighted]

This isn’t to give anyone ideas; you can assume that all the worst people on the internet already know this. That is really the key. I want to destroy your trust in screenshots of posts, especially screenshots of very weird and outlandish posts. (Note also that this isn’t the only way to do this, and it only works on desktop, but it illustrates how easy it is).

On the bottom or the side of the window, a new, complicated view will open that shows you the inner workings of the web page. You can do a lot of fun stuff here, but we don’t need a lot for our purposes.

[Image: Screenshot of a Safari window showing the same tweet, now with a blue box is lying over the text, and the bottom half of the window has a complex view of details about the text in that box and its place in the site’s internal structure.]

The important thing is the tree view on the left. If you can’t see the text of the tweet in there, click the disclosure triangle next to whatever thing is highlighted there. This should show the text directly.

[Image: Screenshot of a tree view showing various HTML elements. They are all expanded. The inner-most item is just the text of the tweet from above.]

Step 3 - Change it

Now you can just double-click on that text and enter something new.

[Image: Screenshot of the same tree view, now wider (don’t know why the window just jumped around on me). In place of the static text from last time is now a text entry box containing the words “It is impossible to fake screenshots of tweets.”]

Once you press enter or the focus moves somewhere else, the text on the website will change.

Step 4 - Take a screenshot

[Image: Screenshot of a tweet, the same one we’ve had the entire time with the same user and date, but it now says “It is impossible to fake screenshots of tweets.”]

And that’s it! If you want to do something with multiple paragraphs like your average Tumblr post, then you probably need to know a little HTML, but it’s not that hard.

For better results, you can also use the same technique to fake the time and date when the post was made, so it looks like the post was deleted - though honestly, that’s probably not worth the time and effort. And you can, of course, also change the number of likes and retweets, or for Tumblr posts, the number of notes, and other information like the user names and so on to fit whatever narrative you want to tell.

What makes this particular technique so useful is that you cannot compare pixels or whatever to prove a tweet is fake. The pixels that the screenshot grabs get generated in exactly the same way as for the real tweet. Proving that this tweet is fake is somewhere between difficult and completely impossible.

The point

This may seem like dangerous secret knowledge to some, maybe. But it’s really not that difficult, and you can assume that everyone who has more than a passing knowledge of web development (and that is a lot of people) can figure this out if they want to. (And if you’re into web development but didn’t know this yet, try it out, it’s super useful!)

In particular, you can safely assume that all the worst people in the world already know this trick and others like it. What this means is that every single screenshot ever is suspicious. Did that post really exist? There is genuinely no way of knowing, unless you find the actual post in question.

That means if you see a particularly stupid post, or a particularly offensive one, by someone you respect, or by someone you hate, or by just anyone in general, then you must always assume that it’s very possibly fake. It takes maybe ten seconds more to create a fake screenshot than to create a real one.

Not all screenshots are fake, and sometimes screenshots are the only source for something because the original was deleted, but all screenshots might be fake, and so you should tread very carefully when one is involved.

There is also an inverse to that: If you want to share a post or a tweet somewhere that you know is real, you should always include a link to the original (and also an image description for people using screen readers). If it’s a good post, it allows people to leave the hearts and stars where they belong; if not (or if that’s debatable), it provides the context and proves that the post is, in fact, real.

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octopus-defence-squad · 3 years

Note

Wait what’s ur relationship with the song 👀👀👀👀 -o

thank you so very much for indulging me! it’s nothing crazy or anything, i just think it’s funny and i realized this has been like,,, 100% on discord and none of y’all would know the amazing song My Minecraft Girlfriend Broke Up With Me by Oli TheOrionSound

so! i came across this youtube video one day (february 17th apparently) titled “Minecraft but i turn the blocks i find into a song” by TheOrionSound. i recognize him, as i have watched some of his videos, and so i click- assuming at first that this is a new video before learning it was published on March 13th of 2020.

in this video, as the title suggests, he makes a song. for some reason, my brain latched onto that song. i do not know why, nor do i know why my first thought upon seeing the spotify link in the description was “i want this to be in my spotify wrapped in december”. whatever came over me doesn’t matter, my following actions occurred and there is no way to get around them: i looped this song for hours, then days.

now, an important and relevant bit of context here is that i do not typically like looping songs. i prefer to have no idea what i will hear next, which is why the main playlist i use has 200 songs and is 11 hours long despite the fact that i got spotify in august. my most listened to song last year was played 28 times total even though i was in the top 0.1% of the Oh Hellos listeners (iirc, i’m not looking this up but it was either that or 1%, it doesn’t matter the point stands). this is not how i normally listen to music.

so i spent 5 days where i did not listen to any songs other than My Minecraft Girlfriend Broke Up With Me on spotify. it was constantly playing softly in the background, leading to a wonderful point where i had that, an hbomb stream, and the estonian eurovision preliminary country things all playing audio at the same time on my computer. that was the closest to god i have gotten so far (i do not understand any estonian btw).

i intended to try and forget about this song, so it would be a punch in the gut when i found it at the end of the years, but i found i couldn’t stop, even after the 5 days had ended. something about the tune just calls to me, whispering into my soul and promising me things i cannot put into words.

i have an oc who has become based around this song (somewhat), that i have written over 6k words about and have actually cried about. it is my lifetime most listened to song on spotify.

i did not realize what would come from me stumbling upon this random video in my youtube recommended feed, but it has changed my life and i suggest you find it and watch as it does the same.

#asks #o #i did not mean to write this much #also yes it was published the day after my birthday #heavens above if only i could have been born a day later so that i might share a day if birth with this masterpiece #but honestly i really vibe to it and i think it’s kinda just the ‘listen to something dumb enough times ironically and whoops now you #actually like it unironically #whelp that’s my story

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kxttenxx · 4 years

Text

Introduction to BDSM

So I recently opened up to my boyfriend about my various kinks and fantasies, but as someone who had previously no idea about these things he was highly confused and had a lot of questions. After explaining he was a lot more comfortable and open to things and we could experiment and create a list of limits and likes etc.

I found the easiest way to explain was to create a list of sorts and so have decided to share it here for others who are learning and or want an easy way to explain their kinks.

If you want to know any more then feel free to message me with questions and queries about the kinks or your own relationship!

Table of contents:

An introduction to BDSM

dominant/ submissive

sado/masochism

Specific Kinks:

Breath play

Pet play

Heat play

Knife play

Bondage

Consensual non consent

Impact play

Humiliation

Degradation

Roleplay

Hair pulling

Toys

Deprivation

Sensation play

Brat Taming

Dirty Talk

Aftercare!!!!!

Links to videos and useful information!

An Introduction to BDSM:

Safety:

Keeping safe is the most important thing within BDSM, so throughout this entire thing I want you to know that for every single kink and scene there are some vital necessities.

The first of these is a safeword. This will quickly end a scene and allows the sub control over what they are and are not okay with.

Sometimes you may be unable to speak so visual cues are also needed such as tapping three times or clicking fingers. You must constantly be on the lookout for these and never ever ignore them.

Some forms of kinks such as choking requires practise and others such as bondage require actual safety tools such as shears to quickly release the sub from the restraints.

Limits are also hugely important. BDSM is about trust and exploring new experiences, but knowing your partners limits and what they are not okay with is a must before partaking in any scenes, for example I am Not okay with anything that should remain in the toilet.

Dominant/ Submissive:

As far as the simplest explanation goes for this, there are often roles within BDSM relationships, the most common being dominant and submissive.

A dominant enjoys being in control and a submissive serves and obeys.

However there is much more to it than this, not only is there a variety of different types of doms and submissives as well as switches/ verse, it can also include their roles outside of a scene (a term used to describe the consensual acts of bdsm with exchange of power being a common feature - referred to this way as bdsm is often roleplay or a representation of creative display)

For this I would recommend checking this link for a huge list of different types of doms which will also list their type of subs: https://www.google.co.uk/amp/s/amp.reddit.com/r/BDSMAdvice/comments/bvqc7p/types_of_doms/

Sado/Masochism:

Sadism is the sexual pleasure or gratification in the infliction of pain and suffering upon another person.

The counterpart of sadism is masochism, the sexual pleasure or gratification of having pain or suffering inflicted upon the self, often consisting of sexual fantasies or urges for being beaten, humiliated, bound, tortured, or otherwise made to suffer, either as an enhancement to or a substitute for sexual pleasure.

Sadists enjoy inflicting pain whether or not it is sexual in nature. Masochists enjoy receiving pain, which, again, may or may not be sexual.

Pain and pleasure are closely linked, the feeling of euphoria and the pleasurable burning sensations of impact play being an example of this. A good website explaining the link between the two:

https://www.bbc.com/future/article/20151001-why-pain-feels-good#:~:text=The%20link%20between%20pleasure%20and,to%20induce%20feelings%20of%20euphoria.

Although simply just the physical pain can provide pleasure, there is also frequently a strong emotional aspect to the sexual desires, taking the form of a need for domination or submission as opposed to a simple desire for pain. Like many BDSM acts it is largely down to trust, strengthening the connection and intimate bond.

Dominance and submission is a way of looking at the sadistic-masochistic distinction, a power dynamic rather than a set of acts. Not all masochists are submissive, and not all submissives enjoy pain. Not all sadists are dominant, and not all who enjoy dominating others are sadists.

Specific Kinks:

Breath Play:

People who are into breath play find cutting off air supply through choking or suffocation heightens sexual arousal and makes orgasms more intense.

Restricting oxygen can make you lightheaded/ dizzy but when the pressure is released you feel another type of rush caused by a release of dopamine, serotonin and endorphins that can cause head-spinning exhilaration. Some like the power play element involved.

Breath play can be very dangerous and has its risks.

Communication is vital,deciding non verbal cues beforehand such as tapping three times on your partner or surroundings or snapping fingers if hands are bound. Being aware of your partner’s response is highly important.

For choking pressing the outside of the throat cuts off air and blood to the brain from two main arteries and can lead to pleasure upon release however you MUST avoid pressure on the trachea/ adams apple. Practising is a good idea with this and can be practised upon yourself.

Pet Play:

Petplay is a form of animal roleplay where a person dresses to resemble and assumes the mannerisms or said animal, often kitten, puppy, bunny, or pony. Gear such as ears, tails, masks and mittens are often used as well as collars and leashes.

Some enjoy retaliating against their owners trying to tame/ train them.

Mannerisms can range from losing the ability to speak and instead using physical movements such as head tilts, pawing or tail wagging as indications.

It doesn’t always have to be sexual and when in these headspace cuddles, headpats and stroking or playing with hair, or other forms of affection are often desired. Although as you can imagine leashes come in handy for other things.

Often, but not always, people who enjoy petplay have suffered abuse or have led a difficult life with complications and entering this headspace allows them to relax and be cared for by their owners, and can forget about the problems of the real world as pets are unaware of these.

TemperaturePlay:

Temperature play is a form of sensation play, where substances/ objects are used to stimulate the body’s neuroreceptors for heat and cold. When consented to, temperature play makes the brain start preparing for a hot and exciting experience and puts nerve endings on high alert

It may include water, massage oil, wax , ice, and even incorporates food play sometimes with things such as chilled whipped cream/ fruit or heated chocolate sauce. Sex toys can also be warmed in water or chilled in the freezer.

Safety is still important and keep in mind a safe word or cue. For wax play its important to use massage oil candles or ones specifically for sex as they burn at a cooler temperature and wont burn.

Knife Play:

Knife play uses knives, daggers or swords as a source or physical and mental stimulation.

The biggest misconception is that blood must be drawn when often this is only for extremes. Knife play more often involves cutting off clothes, gently dragging the blunted edge along the body not hard enough to cut, pressing the cold metal against the skin or being held with caution and safety against the neck or body as a form of restriction eg. when pinned against a wall.

Bondage:

Bondage is a form of restraint, where a rigger implements their control through tying up their partner. Typically bondage uses toys such as handcuffs or rope but can also include belts or tshirts etc. This is a great way to leave your partner feeling vulnerable and under your control. Spreader bars could also be classed as bondage.

Suspension bars can be used to tie up the robe bunny off the floor, which when done safely (safety shears and tutorials!) can be exciting and introduces new positions (think sex swing!).

Shibari is a form of japanese rope art and can be extremely beautiful including ties such as mermaid, dragonfly or chest harnesses.

Consensual Non Consent:

Despite being one of the most divided kinks, it is massively common and loved by many. Complete consent is given beforehand and safe words and cues are taken incredibly seriously within this kink. Often saying stop and begging for them to be gentle or stop isnt actually what the sub wants and would be disappointed if it was to end, so having a random safeword such as pineapple that is unlikely to come up in any given context is important.

CNC can be a coping mechanism for those who have been sexually assaulted, knowing they have the power to make it stop at any given moment. In fact the sub has just as much if not more power than the dom in most BDSM scenes.

Its also great for those who are shy about partaking in sexual activities, have anxiety about doing something wrong, or are embarrassed by their bodies as it is giving up all forms of decision making and control that may cause panic. You are entirely in the hands of the dom and know they are enjoying themselves as they simply take what they like.

It also does not have to be entirely taking, the dom can choose to stimulate the sub through oral sex and other means driving them to an orgasm, if their desire is to watch their sub come undone beneath them despite their best efforts not to enjoy what is being “forced” upon them. Often girls may be embarassed about receiving oral sex and this is a great way to overcome that. I personally hate receiving it outside of CNC as I feel uncomfortable and selfish but within this roleplay my reservations and nerves disappear.

It is extremely hot knowing your partner is using your body however they like and knowing that they are finding pleasure from it. An easy way to think of CNC is it being a kink of finding pleasure in their partner’s pleasure instead of their own.

Some ideas for CNC are burglar, kidnap, teacher “forcing” himself on student or simply taking what you want when you want.

One form on CNC comes in somnophilia where the dom performs sexual acts upon the sub whilst they are asleep/ unconscious. Usually this is not full penetrative sex and consists of groping/ touching up their partners body, undressing the sub and touching themselves and ejaculating on their sleeping body or fucking their thighs or tits. It is vital to remember that consent has been given before hand and this must have been discussed to talk about limits and what each person is comfortable with. Waking up and knowing your dom needed you that badly and took what they want can be very sexually arousing and make the sub feel wanted.

Impact Play:

Impact play refers to the use of hands, paddles, whips, canes, floggers or household objects to hit the body. Sticking to fatty areas such as thighs or butt and avoiding organs, lower back and ribcage is key. Paddles and spanking created bruises whereas whips and canes leave harsher marks depending on the force behind them. Slapping is also a common form of impact play. Not only is the pain often pleasurable, especially mixed with softer forms of sensation play such as kisses, feathers or trailing the toy gently over the body before impact, it can be a great punishment and the marks are often desired as a form of ownership. Its one of the most popular forms of power play and can be very exciting. If anything becomes uncomfortable, implement the safeword immediately.

Humiliation:

Humiliation can be a trust exercise, a way of getting over sexual inhibitions (women historically have been put down for enjoying sexual acts however degradation encourages this behaviour and empowers) or as an act of power play, giving yourself to them and being treated how they like and is also a form of punishment.

Humiliation includes the common kink degradation. Bitch, slut, whore, fucktoy, toy, cumslut and plaything are some of the most commonly used terms however telling your partner how pathetic, desperate/needy, and vulnerable etc they look/are is also commonly used.

Physical humiliation can include activities such as forced masterbation, having to ask for permission to orgasm, external signs of ownerships (collars, sharpie words written on body), discipline (restraint - being tied up in humiliating stances, spanking), deprivation of privacy (forced to change in front of dom, not wearing clothes around the house), for petplay being put in a cage, ejaculating or spitting on the subs face/ body.

Roleplay:

Roleplay is a great way to explore fantasies and spice things up. Although BDSM scenes are already a form of roleplay, enabling sexual fantasies such as degradation, you can explore power play in fun scenarios. Common roleplays include: teacher and student, kidnapper and victim,vampire and victim, police and convict - a personal favourite of mine, I love switching between being detained by a dirty cop and me myself taking the role of the cop overpowered by the convict. Roleplays can also be a great way to explore and involve kinks such as consensual non consent or dynamics such as brother and sister or father and daughter. Its important to discuss desired roleplays before hand. To avoid awkwardness me and my boyfriend have found deciding on a time when the roleplay will occur beforehand and then entering our roles without discussing it amazing, for example when he comes home from work he could come in in character of a burglar and pin me to the couch.

Hair Pulling:

Hair pulling may seem vanilla enough however there is a correct method. Move your fingers from the neck upwards and grab a lot of hair, neck hair is stronger than the hair on the top of the head.

https://youtu.be/jGrbs6EJEuU This is a great video on how to do so safely and correctly.

Toys:

At first my boyfriend was offended at the thought of me wanting to use toys but quickly realised this was purely down to him wanting to be enough and understood that toys can actually make things a lot more fun!

There are so many different kinds of toys I thought I would just list a few of my favourites but I would strongly recommend looking up more and finding out what works for you!

Vibrators: THESE ARE AMAZING! There are also many types of vibrators including wands, clitoral, rabbit (external vibrator and gspot toy), and long distance vibrators. The best long distance ones come with an app allowing the dom to control exactly what the sub feels and can be so fun to use in public or over phone calls. Vibrators are great for those who struggle to orgasm simply from penetrative sex and need clitoral stimulation and are fabulous edging toys.

Dildos: These do not mean that you’re not big enough! They can be used for double penetrative sex, and come in so many different varieties, dragon dildo anyone? They’re always a great way to get inventive in the bedroom.

Glass wands: These are smooth and sleek and are a great option for those who can find penetrative sex painful and want to start off easy. The glass can also be cooled making for an interesting time.

Nipple clamps: When you’re ready for a rush of endorphins release the clamps! These can also be so cute and decorative.

Deprivation:

Deprivation can be both physical and sensory. I’ll go into more detail on sensory in sensation play but think along the lines of blindfolds and handcuffs.

Physical deprivation is just as fun and intense. A form of this is orgasm denial, bringing your sub to the edge and then pulling away. This can be used as a punishment or a way to achieve a powerful orgasm if you eventually allow one. Another form of punishment comes in being deprived of the dom. My boyfriend now loves tying me up and touching himself until he finishes on my chest, not letting me touch or help or taste him as it drives me mad.

Sensation Play:

Sensation play is all about enhancing or restricting our senses, the most common form being touch and sight. Touch could include such things as feathers, impact play, heat play, or the deprivation of touch eg being cuffed to restrict them touching the dom or the dom not touching the sub. Restricting sight with blindfolds heightens other senses making your body more responsive to touch and sound. Sight could also include watching porn or each other masturbate together. Taste is always fun, with food play being hugely common in this area, whipped cream is always a fun way to spice things up, even flavoured lube could come in handy here. Restricting sound along with sight creates a new dynamic and often increases the fear and excitement of what will happen. However sound is more common in the use of dirty talk or moaning and swearing. Hearing the doms excitement and need can be hugely attractive. Often doms will enjoy hearing their sub moan, whimper and in some cases scream and cry in pleasure and pain.

Brat Taming:

A brat purposefully goes against the demands of their dom, teasing and pushing their boundaries and rules to encourage harsher punishments. To tame a brat it is not simply about the punishment but to get them to admit what they did through domination and make them apologise. During punishment a brat may refuse this and antagonise the dom further eliciting a harsher punishment, exactly what the brat is after. A brat will not admit defeat and apologise unless the dom earned it and proved their dominance and control. Personally I need a strong dom or I will grow bored of teasing and how easy to manipulate the dom is and no longer be in a playful or excited mood, instead going to watch tv and cuddle. Brats do not want to be in control but are wanting and giving the dom permission to take more control by acting out.

Common bratty behaviour includes sarcasm, playfighting, finding loopholes in tasks and rules and attempting to take control. A brat isnt going to sit whilst you try put cuffs on and will want you to give them no other choice. Once the dom has proven that they have the control, the brat will happily obey and call them master.

So why do brats do this? Well yes it is partially down to enjoying the punishments, pain being pleasure to them. But it is often down to trust, brats have often been let down and made to feel unsafe by others so by proving your control you are proving they can trust you to take care of them and give in to their truly submissive side, seeing you to have earned their respect and submission.

Being a brat is not always sexual, and brats will often act out even when cuddling with hopes of the dom shutting them down quickly, followed by a soft kiss or ruffle of the hair making their attempt appear almost amusing. This is because the sense of security is needed always and small acts of dominance provide comfort allowing the brat to relax.

Dirty Talk:

Dirty talk is hugely important in the bedroom, and can even be used to bring a sub over the edge without the need to touch at all if used well. I found the easiest way to break down dirty talk is into three categories: praise, degradation and manipulation.

Praise: This can range from moans/ swearing that allows your partner to know how good it feels to you, to phrases and sentences praising your partner. “Good girl”, “God that feels good”, “just like that kitten”, “You like that?”, “You’re so hot” etc. These make your partner feel assured that what they are doing is good and can strengthen affections towards each other.

Degradation: This is more often used in scenes and asserts dominance and control over the sub. It can also reassure them as it lets them know how much you want them and their body - often people who are shy and nervous enjoy this due to it taking away pressure to be perfect. Great examples of this are “Such a desperate slut for daddy”, “look how pathetic you are begging for me princess”, “You’re just my little fucktoy”, “Bitch, stay still.”

Manipulation: This use of sarcasm and threats works well on brats and subs who enjoy knowing they have no control, and can easily be put in their place. It may seem wrong but again provides comfort and is a huge turn on as fear can be exciting. I find it helps my worries I’m not enough or he doesnt really want me as the dom is clearly the one who wants it. This is phrases such as “You want to be a good girl for daddy, dont you darling?”, “Don’t make me hurt you princess”, “Awh whats wrong? Can’t you handle it?”, “Bend over and stop being a bitch or I’ll make you wish you’d been good”, “Oh you’re going to regret that Kitten”, “Stay still whilst master uses his pet, we wouldnt want you getting hurt now would we?”, “Shhh little one, daddys just taking what’s his.”

Aftercare!!!!!!!

Importance:

The importance of aftercare can not be stressed enough. After a scene or sexual activity aftercare is used to calm the sub and bring them down, reassuring them of their safety.

Without this comfort, kinks such as degradation risk being mentally exhausting or damaging so gentle words and kind acts are used to differentiate between actions in scenes and reality. Depending on the kinks explored and the subs preferences, different aftercare may be required so it’s a good idea to talk about this before engaging in any scenes.

Ideas:

Soft words: pet names and asking how the sub is doing is always a good form of aftercare. They may struggle forming words or sentences often worn out or still in a state of euphoria but gentle sighs and smiles can be confirmation of how they are.

Physical reassurance and love: forehead kisses, playing with their hair or holding a dub in a comforting cuddle can provide a much needed feeling of safety and love. A subs body isn’t unlikely to be shaking or weak, their heart still racing and mind in a state of pleasure this is a good way to ground them and bring them slowly back to reality though keep in mind any bruises or sore areas.

Blankets and pillows: soft and comfortable settings are a must!

Food and drink: sweet, sugary foods such as chocolate, candy or soda are useful to have on hand to provide energy. You may also want to keep a glass of water nearby and any storable favourite foods are also a good idea.

Plush/toys for cuddles!

Sometimes scenes can get messy and it might be a good idea to run a shallow bath and gently bathe your sub so they can relax properly after.

Links to videos and useful information!

Evie Lupine has a very informative Youtube channel that discusses safe BDSM practises and different kinks. https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHExB-d5s0zBcbsaHEUy91Q

Another similar channel that discusses bondage and other kinks along with tutorials is Watts the Safeword https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCokRyLsHxh-NykvT4uA6n2g

Beg for jay has some great videos but I’ve decided to link their one to CNC https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wQZcqMazFnI

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yourdeepestfathoms · 4 years

Text

In Our Bedroom After The War

[Broadway Kids]

Prompt: “Fuck what they think. I respect you and if they don’t, I’ll break their knees.”

Word count: 2944

-----------------------

Tommy can’t quite remember when Carrie stopped speaking. Some people said it was in the third grade after she brought that Bible to school and started praying in the middle of lunch, others said after the Christian Youth Camp incident and she swallowed so much water that she “permanently clogged her vocal cords” or something stupid. Whatever happened, something had made Carrie White go silent, and she’s been a target of mockery since.

Deaf and dumb. That’s what the other kids liked to call her. But she isn’t deaf, Tommy knows, because she always reacts to what is said about her with great offense and pain, and she certainly isn’t dumb because Tommy has seen her grades when her report cards are stolen and passed around by bullies. She’s a smart girl, very smart. If anything, he was the dumb one, because the amount of times he’s almost given away their little get-togethers was unbelievable.

It started a month into the school year, he believed. He went into senior year, while Carrie just started high school. He can’t quite remember what caused them to start meeting up in the hidden bathroom under the staircase in the C hall stair well, and he’ll admit that he had never imagined himself hanging out with the city’s resident freak and actually enjoy it, but he would seriously miss their reclusive meetings every Friday after school if they were to ever stop.

Today in particular was very special. 1) because he was finally going to try and teach Carrie about video games (she was fourteen! she should at least know the basics like Pokemon and Mario!) and 2) he had noticed that Carrie seemed a little off the past week and he wanted to ask her about it.

When you saw someone like Carrie White, you would assume that she was constantly in a state of anxiety and depression, but Tommy has learned to pick up on little ticks she does over time. Like how lately, she’s been tugging on her hair and biting her knuckles more often, something she only does if something is really bothering her. Because of their social status in the high school hierarchy, he was never able to ask her if she was alright, so non verbal forms of communication would have to do until their weekly meetup.

There’s the way he tried to avoid letting her out of sight, and if it isn’t that, then it's the way they move around each other in natural synchronicity in the hallway, like celestial bodies that have been caught in orbit for millennia. It's the way he makes excuses to walk alone to class just to make sure she doesn’t get any trouble on the way to her own. It's the silent conversations, an inquisitive look (“You okay?”) answered by a minute nod (“All good.”). It’s everything he wishes he had done for her before his final year of high school.

He tried not to think about it. Tried not to think about how Carrie would soon be all alone again after he graduates. Tried not to think about what would happen to her when he isn’t there as her silent guardian. Tried not to think about how sad he would be without seeing her every day anymore.

Tommy slipped inside the bathroom, shutting the door as quietly as possible to avoid alerting anyone who may have been lurking around, and turned to face the rest of the space. Carrie is sitting at the sink counter on one of two stools Tommy had smuggled in there for them. She turned her head to look at him sideways, but she’s still got her nose buried in a sketchbook, which she still hasn't let him look at. He wondered what she's drawing. Maybe it's a treasure map. Or a secret code. Or that deer they saw earlier. Or him.

“The party has arrived!” Tommy has announced, his voice rebounding loudly off of the silent bathroom walls. He dropped his backpack on the floor, unlike Carrie had done, as hers was hung up on one of the hooks on the wall.

Carrie finally put her pencil down and swiveled around completely in her stool to smile at him. She doesn’t show any teeth with her grin, and it’s slightly wry, but it’s a smile nonetheless and Tommy is honored to get such a thing from her. He examined her quickly, luckily finding no new wounds from bullying, then crossed over. She hastily closed her sketchbook.

“One day,” He said. “One day I will see your masterpiece.”

Carrie gave him an apologetic look, her smile becoming a little more tight. She grabbed a nearby whiteboard to write on, but stopped when Tommy waved a hand.

“No, no,” He said. “No need for that! I’ve been doing really well in my ASL class- you can sign to me!”

Carrie looked skeptical, but Tommy doesn’t miss the flash of excitement in her warm honey eyes. It’s not often that someone understands her when she uses sign language.

“Come on, I’m smarter than I look! Don’t doubt my abilities to learn a new language!”

Carrie nodded. She held up her hands, shaking down the frayed sleeves of her shirt, and began to sign.

“What (something) we (something) today?”

Okay, maybe he wasn’t AS fluent as he thought, but Carrie looked so much more comfortable being able to sign! He could just use his context clues!

“Something very fun!” Tommy assured her. He took out his phone and turned on a playlist that they’ve been progressively adding more and more songs to (with Carrie having to write hers down and give the list to him, seeing as she didn’t own any electronics). You can tell who added what like this: if it’s Christian related or something grungy-chill, Carrie probably added it; if it has folk music vibes and/or a lot of acoustic guitars, it was probably Tommy, surprisingly enough; if it just generally sounds like it’s ripped from an indie movie, it’s kind of a toss up.

He took out the Nintendo Switch he got last Christmas next and set it up on the sink counter. Carrie tilted her head at it as if it were a peculiar flower that had just sprouted out of the porcelain countertop.

“Ever played before?” Tommy asked, although he already knew the answer.

“No. (something) I’ve seen (something) (something).”

“You’ve seen it before?” Tommy repeated, guessing just by the way Carrie had pointed to her eyes.

Carrie nodded.

“Well, now you get to play it!” Tommy beamed at her and she smiled back, but it seems a little forced. Something is definitely on her mind- he’ll have to ask once she’s a little more relaxed. “Hmm… How about Minecraft?”

“M-I-N-E-C-R-A-F-T. I’ve heard (something) (something).”

“It’s fun!” Tommy assured her, selecting the game. “Trust me, you’ll like it.” He put the controllers in her hands and she rubs her thumbs over the rubber protectors. “So the main goal is surviving,” He went on. “There's a lot of objectives actually, but surviving is always the first one. Once you get used to it, you can play in Survival mode and start making a good base and start getting tools and armor and stuff, then you can move on to other objectives. But for now you can just play in Creative. What should we name the world?”

Carrie thought for a few moments, and Tommy could practically see all the random names cycling through her brain. After a moment, she signed, “(something)”

Tommy blinked.

“One more time.”

“(something)”

“Can you fingerspell it, please?”

“V-E-N-U-S.”

“Oh! Venus! We haven’t learned planets yet.” Tommy said. “Wait- Venus?”

“V-E-N-U-S (something) (something) (something) cool place (something) live.”

Tommy laughed. “Can’t argue with that logic!” He helped Carrie type in the name and clicked through a couple of other settings before hitting “create world”. Within a few moments the world was up and running. Carrie’s character was off in no time, exploring the blocky landscape and sifting through her colorful inventory, although her movements were sporadic and jerky since it was her first time playing.

Decorating the base was by far Carrie’s favorite part. There were so many different flowers for the outside and wood types for flooring and even COLORED glass. The only thing that would make it better was if you could have animals and OH MY GOODNESS YOU COULD HAVE ANIMALS!!!!!!!!

For a moment, Tommy debated just leaving Carrie there and allowing her to design the base and play around however she wanted, but he couldn't. He was so worried that someone may waltz in and see her in the boy’s bathroom and then do something to her. Carrie being nearly drowned in one of the toilets, Carrie getting her head smashed against the sink counter, Carrie being raped, Carrie getting beaten into a bloody pulp- so many horrible scenarios forced their way into his head. Carrie getting her throat slit, Carrie getting her body stuffed in the air vent, Carrie getting sodomized with a mop stick.

Why? Why were kids so cruel to her? Why couldn’t Tommy protect her from everything? Why does he know he can’t?

There was a soft touch on his hand and he jolted out of his thoughts. Carrie flinched away, too, then signed something he couldn’t understand, but knew she was asking if he was okay by the pinched expression on her face.

“I’m okay,” He assured her. “Just thinking.”

She made the gesture of “what” and tilted her head. Then she pointed to herself.

About me?

“Yeah,” Tommy admitted.

That made Carrie’s nose scrunch up in a giggle.

“Don’t (something) S-U-E know.”

“If you think that I would cheat on my girlfriend with a fish, then you are very much wrong.” Tommy said. “What about you? What’s been on your mind?”

Carrie put the Switch controllers down and shrugged her shoulders. She began to play with the cuff of her sleeve, not really making eye contact anymore.

“Come on,” Tommy urged. “You can tell me!”

“People,” Carrie signed vaguely.

“People?” Tommy echoed. “People being rude to you?”

Carrie shrugged again, and it was clear she didn’t really want to talk about this anymore, nor did she seem to be in a mood to continue playing. Tommy packed up the Nintendo Switch and paused their shared playlist. He gave Carrie her backpack and they started to walk out of the school in mutual silence.

“Sorry,” Tommy said as they neared the parking lot. “I didn’t mean to upset you.”

Carrie shook her head, then signed, “You didn’t. Don’t worry.”

“Yeah, but-”

“Well if it isn’t praying Carrie!”

Carrie went rigid, like she had been struck by lightning. She stopped mid-step and didn’t move as a group of seniors trot over, their faces alight with mischief and cruelty.

“Ross!” One of them called. “What are you doing with this freak?”

“Is she holding you hostage?” Another guessed, casting a look at Carrie.

“I bet she’s leading him out to his car to force him to let her ride him.” A third said. The group howled with diseased laughter at that. Tommy is appalled. Carrie looked ill. “Is that it, church girl? The need for sex has finally broken into you and you’re ready to sin?”

“Back off!” Tommy growled, shoving the boy away. He put himself between him and Carrie, becoming a barricade of sorts. “Leave her alone.”

“I wonder how loud she’ll moan,” A fourth member of the group mused.

“Can she even moan?” The second wondered out loud.

“If you plowed into her hard enough I bet she’ll make some sort of sound.” The first said.

Carrie darted left and sprinted for the nearby line of trees edging the campus. Tommy glared at the group of seniors, then followed, concerned.

The darkness of the forest quickly closes around them. Carrie is fast on her feet, but Tommy was an athlete and he caught up quickly. He snagged the back of her jacket in a loose grip. They stumbled together over uneven ground and exposed tree roots until Carrie collapsed in a hollow between two moss-covered rocks. Tommy slotted himself in front of her so that she’s shielded from all sides- the rocks and Tommy forming a barrier from the world.

He said nothing. He listened to the girl’s gasping breaths and knew that it’s nothing that words can cure- not anymore. Not after years of having no one, being stabbed in the back and spoon fed lies. He closed his eyes and immersed himself in the rustling of oak leaves, the distant calls of birds, the persistent harmony of crickets.

He wondered what Carrie used to ground herself.

He wondered if she grounded herself at all.

Slowly, softly, Carrie calmed to some degree. It comes faster than Tommy expected, but he assumed that’s just because she’s grown used to the treatment she gets. She shifted, wiggling her shoes beneath Tommy’s thigh. Tommy doesn’t shift. He won’t leave until she does.

“It’s okay,” He finally whispered. “I’m here. I won’t let them hurt you.”

Carrie whimpered and made a sloppy gesture- Why?

“Because I care about you.” Tommy said. ��Fuck what they think. I respect you and if they don’t, I’ll break their knees.”

He wanted to make her laugh or smile or at least stop crying, but Carrie just whimpered again. She swiveled around to face him, eyes flashing with tears.

“Why?” She signed again, sniffling miserably.

“We’re friends.” Tommy told her. “You know that, don’t you?” The look he got said that she didn’t believe it. “Come on. Tell me some things you know about me. You’d be surprised how well you know me.”

Carrie hesitated, then began to sign, “Your name is Tommy Ross.” She winced at how bland it was, but Tommy only nodded, brushing a bit of his dark brown hair out of his eyes. Carrie’s face scrunched up like she’s memorizing her timestaple in front of him, struggling to bring that gridded mess of numbers to mind.

“You’re the tallest (something) (something) everyone (something) your team,” She continued. The sky overhead is eye-wateringly blue, with crisply white cotton clouds scudding along the horizon. A light breeze shakes the leaves of a nearby oak tree that has the initials of some high school sweethearts carved into the base of its trunk. They’re a little crooked from where someone’s hand had slipped, the flat of a switchblade arcing a little too close to the bark, and making a J thicker, almost a U when you looked at it dead on.

“That’s right,” Tommy said. He knows his role here is only background noise. That’s his job, whether Carrie knows it or not, and he’s more than happy to fulfill it. He doesn’t mind being subject to the scrutiny of befriending ol’ praying Carrie because of it. Not if it’s what she needs to feel better.

“Your eyes (something) like a (something) green-brown, (something) (something) like slimy algae. You always have (something) stupid red sports jacket on. Your sneakers (something) (something) white, once upon a time.” She managed to tease him, uttering out a tiny giggle.

“What can I say, Carrie, I’m a filthy gremlin, like all boys are-” He joked, and she swatted him lightly on the arm. She bit back a laugh, and Tommy wished that she wouldn’t- Carrie tips her head back when she laughs, unabashed and on the edge of hysterical, giggling and snorting, shoulders shaking with mirth until she’s brought her gaze back down again, cheeks flushed from the exertion of being host to that much joy despite everything that she’s been through. No one holds the weight of trauma and mistreatment as heavily on their shoulders as Carrie White does- Carrieta, the library to all of those scattered instances of would-be’s-could-be’s-shouldn’t-be’s. And still, there is a smidge joy. It’s beautiful. He thought that she’s most beautiful when she’s laughing (don’t tell Sue, and if you do, make sure you let her know it’s completely platonic. but just don’t tell her at all).

“You have, like, (something) favorite red shirt, with a light brown hood on it. And S-U-E thinks it’s hideous.” Carrie continued. She’s tapping her foot against his leg, a gentle soothing gesture, and he lets her. He knew that it’s more for herself than him.

“You have a golden ring (something) onto a necklace.” Carrie signed. “But you don’t wear it (something) you think it (something) you look silly. But it’s really pretty.” Pause, and when she signed again, it wasn't about the necklace anymore. “It’s (something) (something) like having a sibling.” Pause. Carrie looked up at him with glittering eyes. “You’re Tommy Ross.”

The weight that she placed on his name makes his heart stutter, catching in his chest- the warmth that he felt towards her is almost unbearable, and he found himself grinning, mouth gone crooked in the gesture.

“I’m Tommy Ross, that’s right,” He repeated to her, as if they’re introducing themselves at some shitty college icebreaker. “And I’m not going anywhere, Carrie.” He went on, a touch of urgency in his voice- and she smiles, eyes closing, though hers are more reserved than his, somehow. There’s a tear bright in the corner of her right eye, and it traced a thin path down her face. More come. They pool at her chin, dripping off of her face, and soaking into the softness of the earth. His chest ached.

“And you’re not going anywhere,” She whispered, voice hitching a little halfway through. He swiped a thumb over her cheek, flicked the tear off into the green grass behind them.

“I’m not,” He promised. “I’m not leaving you, Carrie.” And his voice had gone soft, her name cradled gently in his mouth, like he’s afraid of breaking something precious.

#it hurts because carrie kills tommy in the musical #dont tag as ship or I WILL pee in your sink #carrie #carrie the musical #broadway kids carrie #carrie white #tommy ross #carrie fanfiction #my writing

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rkyjun · 4 years

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can’t get you out of my head... (a.k.a yeonjun is a sad lovesick puppy)

a lot has gone on in yeonjun's life. realistically, not much had gone if you were to look at this in a time perspective. however, it can mentally feel like a whole month has happened when it's probably only a few weeks. or even days.

that's how it feels like for him, anyways. his mind is a mess for one person and one person only. after that night of having kissed each other, it was easy to say that yeonjun hasn't been the same since then. in fact, if he had to be honest, the only thing—person in his mind right now was choi san. and he found it very irritating about that being the case. he didn't hate the fact that he was thinking about the fact that he was thinking of him. but after years of having not seen this boy, believing that he's gotten over his feelings that he had since high school, these thoughts were thrown back into his head. and all it does is make him more frustrated than he was before.

he doesn't like the fact that when he's not doing anything important, he finds himself drifting off to replay those memories in his head. he hates how when he tries his best to not think about the boy, the first thing that comes to his mind is his lips. how soft they were against his and how that night wasn't the first time he thought that. how back then, loving him was finding every single interaction precious to him and being able to be vulnerable with someone that wasn't his childhood friends. in fact, he think he's told more secrets to him than he has to despite the fact that they've known each other since soobin was in preschool and yeonjun was in kindergarten.

his crush on him felt as much fun as it did stressful. he remembers constantly thinking about whether or not the boy felt the same as he did. the two trusted each other with almost everything. yeonjun practically told this boy about all the problems he had at the time. if he were to ruin their friendship with that one little secret, it'd be over for him. fortunately, san felt the same for the other boy. unfortunately, college split them up. or, as yeonjun would like to phrase it, his parents split them up.

those first few years in snu were awful. not only was he pursuing a major that he had no interest for in the first place, but he was also missing a part of himself. the part that he gave to choi san all those years ago. no longer were they the friends they used to be, san now following his dreams in k-arts whilst yeonjun is forced to stick to his business major. of course, he manages to try to fill the void in his heart by continuing to talk to more people and trying to find ways to be happier, even though some of them were not the best. after december, he's tried his best to stay focused in school after months of extreme apathy to anything related to it. yet, he still finds his ways to eat fried food and also go to bustling places alone to try and fill the loneliness somehow.

and now the loneliness in him returns. and it was all his fault.

there was no other way of looking at it. yeonjun pushing san away whilst realizing that he was kissing the other was practically a parallel to yeonjun telling him about his parents making him to go to snu. it was a parallel to how after that incident, yeonjun did just what his father did back then to the poor boy. the look of hurt on his face was enough to haunt the boy's thoughts that he even thinks about it while enjoying a good box of fried chicken.

he feels a little bit better after going to jaebum about his issues. it was nice to get it off of his chest once in a while, especially to someone he knows he can trust. but there's still something in his head that he can't seem to get rid of.

so he tries his best to continue letting time go by slowly, his head full of nothing but that boy because he can't do anything about it.

perhaps, in a way, he deserves it.

it starts off harmless. like any other normal sleepover they've had in their past. yeonjun's almost certain that nothing grand would happen on video game night with his best friend. besides getting drunk and complaining about who's cheating, yeonjun expects for the night to normally as it usually does.

but, he should've known already from his past with the boy. when put together, they were unpredictable. not only to their classmates or friends, but to themselves as well. because the next thing he knows, he's waking up in his bed with a painful headache with no clue as to where choi san is. he was not in his room, nor was he in any other room in his house. it makes him question if the boy was even there in the first place.

yeonjun only knows that san was over after he gets ready and asks his mom to make hangover soup when he goes downstairs. amidst all the scolding of how he should not drink so much in order to live healthily, she mentions that san woke up pretty early and left while yeonjun was still asleep. it was another jab at his health: his sleeping habits this time.

he manages to pretend the only pain he's experiencing is his hangover. it's better than talking to his parents about his feelings over a boy. they wouldn't understand it. it'd just be another reason to look at their son in shame before comparing him to his better, superior brother.

he thankful he doesn't have classes today and over the fact that his parents are surprisingly not nagging at him about not going outside today. he's able to stay home and play video games as he always does. classic lazy yeonjun. as he returns to his room, he sends san a few texts to check if he's okay. if he's... fine.

( sms ⇢ ⛰shine ) hey!!! was wondering where you were bc i didn't see u leave ( sms ⇢ ⛰shine ) hope you're okay!! i know we drank a lot so i hope u were able 2 go home safe since it's a long ride

he debates whether he should talk about last night. because as he's sending these messages, the events that happened played in his head. the sweet kisses, the melting touches... just thinking about it all made yeonjun's face heat up. he wonders if he should bring it up. the last time something like that happened between them, yeonjun tried to ignore san for an entire week. of course, it wasn't because of that. but it was unfortunate with how the time played itself.

so he does. in the most subtle way possible.

( sms ⇢ ⛰shine ) thank u for last night

he clicks his phone off immediately as he anxiously waits for his response, getting flustered over how he sent that. he shouldn't be so freaked out over such a text. it wasn't anything bad. perhaps it was because of the context that he's feeling this way.

every notification sets him off for the next few hours. he wants to convince himself that san wasn't avoiding him because why would he? they're becoming the best friends they were before, right? the friends who relied on each other and always went to each other for everything? sure, they have grown up and matured, but they're still the same san and yeonjun they were before... right?

he finds himself disappointed with every notification that didn't come from "⛰shine". though he didn't mind the company of his other friends, he couldn't help but grow more and more upset with each message that came from everyone but him. a part of him even wonders if it's worth it to keep on trying. he didn't want to become miserable in his room all because he was waiting from a response from one person.

there was no read update. it's been hours. and nothing.

he tries not to think about it too much. the more he thinks, the more he finds himself slowly going into a mindset that he didn't enjoy being in at all.

it's hours later when yeonjun hears his notification bell and he hurriedly grabs his phone near his side as he's playing video games in the evening. even though he's been waiting to hear from him since the morning, he still is relieved over the fact that san got back to him. that there wasn't anything weird between both of them. that they were okay.

or so he thought.

( sms from ⛰shine ) yeah sorry i couldnt say goodbye had to head out early because of work ( sms from ⛰shine ) you too

yeonjun's face drops when he sees the word bubbles appear on his screen. he's surprised by how disappointing the response was, even though a part of him believes he deserves it. was that all san had to say about their hookup? is this the same boy that kissed him during that last sleepover? is this the same boy that was all flirtatious with him last night? yeonjun remembers even asking him throughout all of this if he wanted this to happen and he always said yes with the honesty that yeonjun could recognize immediately...

years ago, he said nothing about that night. should he have done the same? because either way, he feels the same type of shittiniess he felt back then.

the you too isn't specific enough. did he hope he was okay despite the hangover that would follow after? was it about him? nothing was clear to yeonjun anymore. his emotions were all over the place. he should be thankful that san at least replied to him... but with this?

he was tired. he wasn't even in the mood for video games anymore. he'd rather not stay up at night watching random tiktoks or going through his social media sites to pathetically think about how his life is lacking compared to everyone else. the time where he'd bother his friends with a bunch of messages to check on how they were doing don't even occur in yeonjun's mind now.

he's already had dinner. he already got what he was wasting all his energy for. yeonjun just wanted to sleep. sleep and not think about how his friendship with choi san was at stake for the night.

hopefully, tomorrow he won't stay in his head too much. but who knows if he'll follow through with that in the end?

#( * SOLO )#yes i've had this tag before #rkchoisan #me before: wow why do i have so many sad songs in rkyjun's playlist #me now: this is fuel

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spiderman-homecomeme · 5 years

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Day Two - Remember Me

AN: Y’all we made it!! I’m so excited to share this one with you guys and to see what our talented fandom has done! Here is my contribution to day two! It’s all kinds of sappy, soft, sweet, sad (peep the title) and just emotional in general, and I hope you guys enjoy it. <3

Again, thank you @spideychelleweek for making this all possible!

Prompt: Meet the Family

Here is some 2.9k odd of fluff and hurt/comfort!

“Listen, I know you’re a huge nerd and everything, but..." Michelle’s voice holds a teasing, slightly judgmental edge as she struggles to hold three DVDs in one hand, hastily catching one as it falls out of her grasp. “Do you really need more than one copy of The Force Awakens?”

“Okay, first of all,” Peter starts, defensively holding one finger up, “One of those is Ned’s.”

MJ blinks slowly.

“Second of all, May bought me one as a random gift after I’d already pre-ordered it, and I couldn’t just… you know, give it back,” He reasons. “So, yeah. To answer your question: I do need three different copies.” Peter turns his attention back to organizing the box of various electronics hastily thrown together by past-Peter.

MJ still seems less than impressed with that explanation. “Okay. Why?”

“Well,” Peter shrugs, mouth pulling into a slight frown. “What if I lose one?”

When she doesn’t respond, Peter glances up, not surprised to find her staring blankly at him, her expression as impassive as it’s ever been.

He relents, letting her toss one of the three into the “give away” bin before promising to give the second back to Ned.

MJ, out of the kindness of her own heart— or out of boredom, either one— has been helping Peter, in her own words, “get his shit together,” for most of the afternoon. Too many times has she tripped over a stray book, his backpack, a hoodie or even a lone pair of boxers on the floor of his bedroom; times where she’s been unable to find the spare iPhone charger through all the spare papers, pens, and God knows what else in that mess he calls a “stuff drawer.”

Now, none of this is to say that Peter is the messiest person in the world, per se. He can be a relatively tidy person when he needs to be; his room is never littered with trash or the general grossness that comes with some teenage bedrooms.

But...

The cluttered state of Peter’s room is often a reflection of his own mind.

Which is why Michelle is there.

Plus, she’d seen one episode of Tidying Up with Marie Kondo one day when she was home sick from school, and with her room already pretty damn organized-- if she could say so herself-- she has to have some kind of outlet.

So, in a way, they’re really helping each other.

“Oh, hey,” Peter’s voice cuts through her internal monologue, his attention drawn to an ancient— by today’s standards, at least— video camera at the bottom of his second ‘random tech’ box. “Uncle Ben’s camera!”

For a moment, MJ’s ready to go into full-on Comfort Peter in the Best Way She Can Mode at the mere mention of his late Uncle, and she’s trying to decide whether she should do a full or half-hug when his fond, distant smile stops her.

“Wow, really?” She inquires cautiously, craning her neck slightly to get a better look at the artifact. “What’s on it?”

Again, Peter shrugs, flipping the screen open as he examines the device. “I dunno. Old home movies. Probably embarrassing videos of me.”

And he immediately regrets that last part, not having to see the cheshire grin that stretches across her features and the playful quirk of her brow to know that they’re there.

His shoulders sag as he rolls his eyes, fighting back a smile. “You don’t wanna watch any, do you?”

“Um, of course I do.” Her brows furrow as she glances side-to-side. “Are you kidding?”

“It’s not even charged, though.”

“So charge it.”

A beat of silence passes between them.

“Okay, fine,” Peter gives in, though he seems to be far from annoyed, searching for the charging cable near the bottom of the tangle of wires.

MJ cracks another smile at him before continuing to sort through his DVD collection.

The old camera feels strange in Peter’s hand, heavier than today’s technology, screen casting a faint blue light as it turns on for what may be the first time in a decade. He’s surprised they’ve even been able to charge it, judging by how old this thing is.

MJ sits on the bed beside him, head resting against his, watching as he navigates the almost laughably ancient menu, an audible, very dated beep-click sounding at every push of a button.

Neither of them know what to expect as Peter clicks “play” on the first video.

The screen flickers slightly, the lens focusing on what they assume to be the old dining room. A man and a woman are setting the table, chuckling quietly to themselves as they joke with one another. They continue to chat idly as they place the plates and cups down, the context of the conversation lost.

They’re at first only vaguely recognizable to MJ, but the feeling is fleeting, the realization almost instantly dawning on her when she sees the mop of curly brown hair and dark eyes on the man, the cheery smile on the woman’s face.

Richard and Mary Parker.

The date at the bottom of the screen reads: August 4th, 2005, 6:07 PM

Her eyes pass a quick glance to the boy next to her, gauging his reaction. There’s a faint, barely-there grin pulling at the corner of his mouth as he watches his parents interact, neither of them paying any attention to the person filming.

“I wanna help!” A tiny voice sounds from behind the camera, and the view shifts quickly, showing a much younger Peter bounding into the room, napkins in his tiny hands.

Mary turns, beaming as she talks to her son, crouching down to show him how to fold the napkins.

MJ feels herself mirroring the expression on his mother’s face.

Peter is still silent beside her, and she can only wonder how he’s truly feeling as they both watch. While she has certainly experienced loss in her near seventeen years of being on this earth, she’s never gone through the pain of losing a parent, much less two biological and one emotional.

“My mom and dad,” Peter finally speaks, as if introducing them to her, his voice quiet.

Under normal circumstances, she might tease him for pulling a Captain Obvious, but she refrains.

She hums in acknowledgement.

“It’s crazy…” He starts, eyes never straying from the screen. “I— I don’t really remember much of them, you know? They… Well, they died when I was really little, so I didn’t really get a chance to make very many memories with them, and everything I did remember I kinda forgot. But—” He pauses, a fond smile playing on his lips. “Hearing their voices… Even though it’s not really something I actually remember… It’s almost like… like it all comes back. Like, it’s so clear, you know?”

It’s said that the the voice is usually the first to go, the first thing one forgets about someone else after they’ve gone. And the more she thinks about it, the more MJ realizes just how true it is. She remembers, very specifically, the last time she heard her grandfather’s voice, but it had been so long since then. In that moment, right then and there, she can just barely recall it in her memory.

She knows, however, that if she were to hear it in a recording— or in this case, a home video— she’d remember once again.

Memories are funny like that, she guesses.

“Yeah,” she nods, gently knocking his shoulder with hers. “I get it.”

The video goes on, with the cameraman— who Michelle can only assume at this point to be Uncle Ben— having moved to the kitchen.

A younger Aunt May stands in the room, poring over a recipe on the counter. “Damn, May,” MJ jokes appreciatively, laughing as Peter gives her a playful shove.

“Don’t even!”

The lens zooms in on May’s face, and she turns, an exasperated grin breaking across her features as she rolls her eyes. She swats at the man behind the camera with a dish towel.

“Hey, how ‘bout you put that dang thing away and make yourself useful around here!” May teases, her eyes sparkling as an immature-for-his-age giggle is heard from the cameraman.

The video ends as the screen pans down, the next playing with only a second in between.

The date reads: August 7th, 2005, 3:36 PM

“Whatcha got there, Pete?”

This time, Aunt May’s voice can be heard from behind the camera, the smile in her tone infectious as the little boy beams up at her through a mop of curly brown hair. A slightly-too-big cowboy hat sits on top of his head. He proudly holds up the pinto hobby horse, jumping with excitement.

“It’s a horsey!”

Aunt May oo’s and aw’s. “What’s the horsey’s name?”

Little Peter pats the neck of the toy with semi-gentle, reverent hands. “Shunshine!”

“Shunshine?” MJ asks incredulously, doing absolutely nothing to hide the snort that had escaped.

MJ can hardly blame the kid though; she’s pushing seventeen and she still has trouble with consonant digraphs every once in a while.

“Hey!” Peter laughs along with her, though there was no stopping the red tint that settled over his features. “It’s a great name!”

“Very creative.”

“Shut up.”

Their joined laughter fades as the next few videos play, falling into a comfortable silence as the old Parker living room shows up on the screen. Red and blue streamers adorn the walls, dozens of balloons in the same shades touch the ceiling, a comically large Happy Birthday! is strewn across the banister.

The date reads: August 10th, 2005, 4:14 PM

The camera circles the room, showing off the decorations, before finally landing on the birthday boy himself.

“What’s your name, sir?”

A new voice full of mirth and humor asks from behind the lens; his father.

Young Peter looks up, a toothy grin stretched across his chubby face. “Peter Benjamin Parker,” he answers, emphasizing each word with a firm nod.

“And how old are you today?” His mother asks, tone laced with hushed excitement.

The boy smiles again, eyes wide, holding up four fingers.

“Four years old!” Both of his parents gasp-cheer.

August 10th, 2005, 5:23 PM

The birthday cake is simple; funfetti with chocolate frosting and red and blue sprinkles, a giant “four” candle placed in the center. Peter wiggles in his chair, eyes wide with wonder as he watches his mother light the wick.

“Are you ready, Peter?” She asks him, and he nods happily.

Happy Birthday is sung as it should be; full of enthusiasm, each singer being in a different key by the end of the song, cheers filling the room as the candle is blown out.

His mother plants a loving kiss on top of his head before smoothing down his unruly curls.

August 10th, 2005, 6:16 PM

The lens briefly goes in and out of focus, showing young Peter as he sits among torn wrapping paper and discarded boxes, his mouth stretched into a toothy smile as he looks at his presents. He jumps up, running around the room to give everyone an enthusiastic hug, thanking them over and over again for the toys.

August 10th, 2005, 7:02 PM

“Happy Birthday, Pete!” His family cheers in a happy chorus.

Peter responds with an excited, “Thank you!”

Aunt May briefly glances up, flashing a smile at her husband behind the camera, before looking back at the young boy in her lap. Her arms surround him in a loose, but loving embrace.

“Did you have a good day?” May asks.

Peter’s answer is an excited nod, followed by an appreciative hum.

Though the snippets of this past life are brief, they’re still able to elicit a familiar warmth from within present day Peter, and he huffs out a quiet chuckle at the way his younger self babbles on and on about how cool his brand new cowboy boots are.

And it’s infectious, as MJ feels the stirrings of the same, incandescent feeling.

The next clip starts from a whole new perspective, it seems.

Seeing as now they’re much closer to the ground, and the excited giggling coming from behind the lens, it seems as if young Peter, at some point, had gotten a hold of Ben’s camera.

August 12th, 2005, 5:50 PM

The view is shaky as the little boy darts throughout the apartment, pausing every few feet to film one of his relatives— though he only gets their legs in the shot; he’s only just pushing 3’1”, after all.

“Whatcha doin’, Pete?”

A new voice can be heard as a pair of work boots come to a stop in front of the boy, one they hadn’t heard yet.

Michelle can feel Peter freeze at the sound, and she glances at him through the corner of her eye; his gaze is still trained on the small screen, his smile tightening.

Uncle Ben himself crouches down, his tall body barely fitting into the frame, the top of his head partially cut off. A broad smile is stretched across his kind face, green eyes looking over the lens and at the boy holding the recorder.

“Filming,” young Peter says simply.

“I can see that! Got anything good yet?”

The camera moves as the boy nods proudly. “Uh-huh. Just like you!”

“Just like me?”

“Yeah! Are you proud?” Though the word comes out more, “poud.”

“Of course,” Ben chuckles gently, reaching over to ruffle the boy’s hair, eyes crinkling as his smile widens. “I’ll always be proud of you, bud.”

The video pauses, the screen frozen on the happy scene.

Present-day Peter hasn’t relaxed, his lips pressing together into a thin line, releasing a weighted breath as his thumb hovers over the play button.

MJ’s stomach churns with a new sense of guilt. “We don’t have to watch anymore… if you don’t want to.”

He nods quietly, slowly closing the screen, gripping the camera in his hands, knuckles nearly turning white at the pressure. Michelle sits, arms folding across her chest as she faces the internal struggle of what to say next, still unable to shake the unease festering in her gut.

“It’s just—” Peter starts, his voice cutting off. He sniffs again, glancing away as he preemptively wipes at the corner of his eye. “Hearing him again… his voice… seeing him actually talk...” He shakes his head. “It just— It got to me, I guess…” He trails off, his gaze still trained on the wall in front of them.

MJ places a hand on top of his, watching his face as he continues to speak.

“And I thought I was… good now? I don’t know. I mean,” he swallows, trying his best to keep his voice even. “I know that you never really forget them, that you never really move on… And everyone always tells you that it’ll get easier but it doesn’t... But, I guess I just thought that I was actually doing better. That it really had gotten easier. Maybe I was the exception... I stopped thinking about him every second… I had some voicemails— that he’d left me, before he… you know… but I’d never listened to them, I guess… because I was too afraid. Of what? I don’t know...”

She gives his hand a comforting squeeze, her own heart pounding in her ears.

“Like, I know that it makes sense that I don’t really remember what my parents sound like, their voices. ‘Cause, you know, I didn’t get the chance to. But I never—” His voice is caught in his throat, the shakiness making it harder and harder to speak. He finally turns to look at her, bloodshot, red-rimmed eyes clouded with tears.

“I never thought I’d forget his.”

At that, without a second thought, she opens her arms, and he falls into them easily. She wraps him in a warm embrace, his face burrowing under her chin. He doesn’t weep, tears falling silently instead as she rubs soothing circles on his back.

And she doesn’t know how long she holds him like that, how long they sit there. No words are exchanged between them, though none are really needed.

“Sorry… For making you watch that,” MJ’s voice is nearly inaudible as she mumbles into his hair. “I shouldn’t have pressured you.”

“No, uh—” This time, he shakes his head, the quiet sniffle between words not going unnoticed. “No. No, it’s okay,” he reassures her, finally pulling back, though he still stays in her arms. “It’s actually really nice… seeing my parents. Seeing Ben. I’m not gonna say that it’s like they never left... But it’s like they’re still with me, he’s still with me, in a way.” His lips quirk into a sad smile, his hand reaching up to wipe at his eyes again. “And… I’m glad you got to see them.”

Michelle finds herself easily returning his bittersweet expression.

While she’d never had the chance to meet his parents, from the short clips she saw, she could tell that they loved each other and that they truly loved their son. She’d also never properly met Uncle Ben, only seeing him in passing as he’d pick up Peter from middle school, or come to decathlon meets in their Freshman year. It wasn’t much, only snippets of their actual lives, but even the smallest glimpse made her feel closer to Peter, to his family.

It was a feeling she’d treasure for years to come.

Perhaps in a more emotionally stable state, she’d make fun of herself for being so cliche, so dramatic. But at this point, right in this moment, she didn’t care.

Her lips press together into a small, faint smile as she takes his hand in hers again.

“I’m glad I got to see them, too.”

#spideychelleweek2k19 #spideychelle #spideychelle week #petermj #peter parker x michelle jones #peter parker #michelle jones #fic

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