#trying to focus on writing the darn fic lol

[breannasfluff]

I would love to hear your rambles about Ur fics if u want, it doesn't have to be spoilers or anything, just like, your line of thought, why your gave each character those characteristics and stuff (feral wild my beloved 🩷🩷🩷)

Uh YES talking about the boys is my favorite thing 🥰🥰

I knew when I started writing Linked Moments I wanted it adjacent to Linked Universe, but not in the same timeline. I like the characters, their designs, some of their personality traits, but I want to do something unique!

The first few stories are always rougher as I find a handle on their personalities and how I want them to interact. Wild’s easiest because a) favorite, b) I read a lot of fics with him and c) I started replaying botw in preparation for TotK.

There’s some active decision on personality, but I really enjoy “discovering” each character as I write. Four, for example, fights every step of the way and just doesn’t flow well. I’m still trying to find a vibe off him and how he fits into the group.

Wild, Twi, Ledge, and Hyrule are definite favorites so we get a lot more of them. Wolfie is Wild’s safe person and I adore their interactions. I wanted him to be someone Wild could relax with when he’s still learning to trust everyone else. Also, someone who would connect to his more feral behavior.

I like to think that Wild was pretty darn wild when he first woke up. Obviously some basics remain, but you can’t convince me that boy didn’t put everything in his mouth to see if he could eat it 🤣

With Yiga disguised on the road he tended to stick to the outskirts unless he came in to a stable. He spent a lot of time with the dogs there, as well as observing wolves in the wild. He really likes wolves, despite an…incident we’ll explore later 👀

Hyrule is my cinnamon roll and he can totally kick your butt while smiling sweetly. I like his dynamic with Legend, so I try to keep that, but I also like having him buddied up with Wild.

I usually pick one or two relationships for each oneshot to focus on because otherwise it’s a lot to balance. Also, I want to show the different moments of growth between the pairs.

Thinks like Fae Touched, Wing Bois, and other oneshots are opportunities for me to explore different dynamics or back histories. Wild and Wolfie/Twilight is more of a precedence in Linked Moments.

Legend is our grouchy boy, but he understands trauma responses a little too well. He periodically recognizes what’s going on with Wild and really steps up into a calm role to help. He tries to provide what he needed but didn’t have 😭 It’s those moments that he’s very similar to Hyrule.

Warriors uhhhhh had ended up with some personal influences, woops. My writing has always been fairly personal in some way; either the genre, themes, or feelings. Lots of family fluff (especially in Encanto, which I wrote for before this). Writing is usually more grounded if it’s based on personal experience, so it’s a mix of that or straight up research. Usually if I’m worried about reception I post it under an alt account.

Time is a struggle for me although I know many readers liked his chapter with the Champion. He and Wild don’t operate the same and it puts a bit of a wedge on their interactions.

Wind is a loose cannon careening through the background and bodily throwing himself at people. He’s a tactile kid (even if he is a teen). I like seeing him have some depth, he’s a capable hero on his own.

Sky is a lot more of a gremlin at heart than I thought when I started writing. We haven’t seen much of him yet and he likes to cover up the chaos love with his “chosen hero” vibes.

I think I covered everyone and I’ve uh….been rambling a while lol 😅 Thank you for the ask! I’ve missed writing on vacation :( please feel free to drop further questions or I’ll tag you if I think of something!

#asks #my writing #linked moments

[kinetic-elaboration]

July 27: Summer Goals Update #2

I realized I haven’t done a proper/official Summer Writing Update in a while, so, even though I haven’t written since last weekend, I’m going to do that now.

I’ve posted the last chapter of my Troped fic, The Wedding Planet, which was a goal I knew I’d accomplish (event deadlines and all), but which still feels pretty darn good. It’s so easy to finish and post something and then kinda... forget that it was ever hard or even that effort was put in, and then just go on to worrying about the next thing. But even though this wasn’t my favorite of my own fics I feel that I should acknowledge that I wrote it, I kept going, I planned, wrote, edited, and posted 25k in the middle of a writer’s block, and that is pretty good. Go me.

Other than that, I’ve been mostly focusing on Slide. I haven’t written as much of it as fast as I was hoping, but nevertheless, it is coming along. I have 5 more scenes in my outline, 2 of which are pretty big/important, and my hope is I can write 2 of them this weekend, then maybe finish up the draft the week after next. I think I have a good chance of finishing it before the end of August. (The only reason I’m not saying that with more confidence is that I’m trying not to jinx it.)

My other goal for the season was to finish an old fic, working title New Man. But I’ve been subtly switching that in my brain to writing a different fic, a summer-y Blake Siblings AU I’m intrigued by but nervous about. I’ve done a decent amount of planning, but it’s not at a ready-to-write place yet.

I’ve not been able to do my sitting-outside-with-coffee-and-planning-stories thing recently because it’s so hot I can’t stand it, and honestly I feel like it’s starting to wear me down, like, emotionally. Not just the heat, but this particular consequence of the heat. That said, it’s supposed to get a little better this weekend so I plan to... do some planing, probably on the Blake Siblings fic. I don’t see it as being terribly long (lol) but the full scope will only be apparent once I get an outline down, and the full difficulty will only be apparent once I start writing. Whether or not fitting it into the summer will be possible should become clearer once the scope/length of the project comes into focus. I won’t say I’m super hopeful about meeting this goal, but I won’t rule it out.

And the Southern Gothic fic... it’s gonna take as long as it’s gonna take. But I have been working on it, in the form of writing out thoughts and consolidating notes.

@fontainebleau22 @she-who-the-river-could-not-hold

#the year 2022 #2022: writing projects #summer 2022 goals

[fieldsofview]

3. 10. 17.

3. What is that one scene that you’ve always wanted to write but can’t be arsed to write all of the set-up and context it would need? (consider this permission to write it and/or share it anyway)

I've got this idea for a total AU - something post-apocalyptic with the planet irradiated and barely livable, along with a military-elite who are controlling all the resources. Ya know, you're typical anti-capitalist stuff narrative lol. (very Fallout meets The 100 meets The Last Of Us).

It has a Gwen Stacy who's been accidentally exposed to radiation in a way that's given her spidery powers and makes her able to fight against the nuclear weapons being used by the elite. Her father works for the upper class and she's always known they're not great, but not to the true extent. She slowly finds out that the ruling class aren't just kind of shitty but there's actually a whole conspiracy theory thing going on. MJ is a freedom fighter for the resistance group fighting against the elite and the two end up sort of working together. Queue falling in love but also MJ ends up kind of using Gwen as a tool and hiding things from her 'for the greater good'.

I can picture the scene where they fall out. The fight. The emotions. The sides taken. The hurtful words thrown about because they both care too damn much. But it would require SO MUCH to get there and idk if I'll ever write that fic. Maybe someday.

10. How would you describe your writing process?

At least with SMH it's been pretty methodical, which I think is making all the difference compared to previous WIPs. I made the outline in a haze of hyperfixation over like 3 days. Then I tweaked the outline a bit over the next week or so.

But since then, I just sit down for whatever length of time and just put one sentence in front of the other, following my outline. I've very rarely deviated from the OG outline, more adding things than making changes. As I've gotten closer to the end, I've been making more minor changes, but even still I'm following it pretty closely.

The outline was over 10k words though, so it was pretty darn detailed. Idk if that will work for future projects, but I'm going to aim for it again.

17. Do you think readers perceive your work - or you - differently to you? What do you think would surprise your readers about your writing or your motivations?

Gosh I have no idea how people perceive my stuff tbh! I hope they like it and notice all the details I put in. I've been trying especially hard to focus on not holding the reader's hand as much and trusting them to see things without it all being spelled out.

I also think, especially with SMH, that people are expecting a happier, cookie-cutter kind of ending because so much of us want that catharsis after what NWH put us through. I'm not saying SMH won't have a happy ending. It will, to an extent. Peter will end up in a better place than he was at the start. But it's not going to be all sunshine and rainbows, and not everything will be all tied up with a bow.

Especially with my writing from more recent years, I have focused less on tropes and pairings that I want to read, and more on telling a story that hasn't been told yet. That's what Under The Moonlight was, that's what SMH is, and my side WIP (temporarily titled Hopeless Devotion) is also like that. I've realized that, at my core, I'm lazy. If I can read a story already, I don't have a desire to write it myself. But if I can *feel* a story in my soul and can't find anyone else who's already written it, then I end up dragging my ass out of bed to put it on paper. Because I want to read it. You know?

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ASKING SEEK!! <3

#writer ask #foviewpoint #writer rambles #seek--rest #fic writing #spider-man: homesickness

[cookie-earning-things]

I’m not gonna get too publicly involved with my own hot takes (I generally try not to) but as a queer fan I feel I should throw my own thoughts on the table...

I’m thrilled to have Ash in on the team. Yes the timing was poor, yes it would have been better to wait like Olan wanted and focus on family; yes Little Cato can is gay; yes it was jarring because the material is still sorta “lol just good friends” (I know Ash blushes, but trust me that is still not enough for some people)...

My first worry is the sort of pattern we see that is a flaw in this show: little to no *or stilted character development for supporting characters.* This smells like an executive and straight writer move, even if any queer folks were involved. Evra is adorable and an absolute personality right off the bat, and don’t get me started on the genderqueer vibes! But will we get more than that?

This season is already jam packed and we know next season, which is still only being placed on the table, is Ventrexia focused. Fox was a passionate personality, but only very on-the-surface and shallow. Ash had a point: no one but her knew her brother. We got vague crumbs.

Same thing with Quinn’s sister. While that was such a powerful episode, and something I hope to touch base on more and see insight on, I admit my hopes are small on a deeper dive. We already missed the big chance with this episode — Quinn and Ash or circling around the Nightfall topic; they both suffer a loss from a sibling only they really knew in a super dysfunctional family with unrealistic expectations placed on them; Nightfall, a branch of Quinn, was the first on the team squad to really get THROUGH to Ash!! Why wasn’t this utilized?? Quinn shoves the comfort on to Avocato and we get that terrific scene and...an unfitting subplot that, while delightful, was absolutely off beat and off tone with everything going on. Quinn jacked a hawk and went against an entire organisation she trusted in to the point of self-delusion. There’s a connection that’s unmistakeable between her and Ash...you’re telling me my girl is really gonna sit back and stare out a window? I see her as the type to bury herself in doing to avoid crises...her mom raised her that way. But we don’t get that. Even with some sweet rep, we miss out on something that, with everything going on, I think would have been more powerful and on tone.

This show promises big but delivers for select few characters. Even Little Cato, who has been spotlighted and through some serious stuff, still has things pushed off to the side and no re-visitation. (Or so little and shoved in it can be jarring)

I don’t know. It just seems like a lot is left to tell not show and that it rides on fan interpretation...and then just kind of doesn’t fly with it 90% of the time.

I love this show. I’ve gotten two of my different friend groups involved - we’ve bought merch, started doing role play and fic writing and AU discussions...I’m branching off with my own comic ideas and even thinking of trying an animatic,,,I haven’t had this passion for a creative work in a long, long time. It even inspired me to be an artist again, after a FIVE YEAR HIATUS. That said, I don’t know what’s happening in the writers room, but there’s so much material to work with and darning the tears might be a bit better than fleshing out a whole new pair of pants at the moment.

*edited because for ex with Gary like the developments are HUGE but it’s the sun vs earth being center of the universe things. Jesus, Nova.

#final space #just some thoughts of a cosmic cookie #tldr: love my gay daughter and evra #love the episode - just getting a bit tired of disjointed discrpencies

[weirdthoughtsandideas]

What I learned in my time as a fic writer

Someone out there will appreciate your fic more than you think

And someone will put a lot of focus on a detail you might not even have thought about much when you wrote it

I might sit and laugh for hours because I wrote a funny sentence and then realize that only I think it's funny

Fic readers are extremely patient. You can not update for 3 years and then they come swarming back when you update

Sometimes people are super hyped for your fic, and then you release a new chapter and suddenly everyone disappears

This most often happens when you haven't released a fic yet - everyone seems so hyped, but when you actually release it it's like no one sees.

BUT - even if a fic has a rough start, or if it used to have a lot of hits and suddenly it doesn't, it will come! Sooner or later, someone will see your fic

You will sometimes write a fic or a chapter simply because of that one (1) person who you hope will read it. And they don't know that.

Every time you post an exciting chapter - like a chapter with a plot twist, a reveal, a cliffhanger or an answer to something we didn't know until now - it's those chapters that takes the LONGEST to get any comments on. It's like when you release that chapter when every reader you have suddenly is extremely busy.

It hurts every time you scrap a fic mid story because you lack inspiration. You feel like you failed your readers, even if they have had this happen a thousand times, and YOU have had this happen a thousand times with fics that YOU read, too. It's common! But it also hurts to not have inspiration anymore.

Comments are very essential. And they're mostly positive, because we have kind of moved past the whole "reading fics we dislike and then write a comment about how it sucks" era now. Or we haven't, and I have just had a good experience. If people don't like your fic, they won't comment, nor even read. And if you DO get a hateful comment, you have a bunch of lovely comments that weigh a ton more.

Also the hateful comments I have gotten??? I'm barely offended by them. I'm mostly like "ok then" or "sweetie who hurt you"

Every time you post something a little risky, like it can just be one tiny little adult joke or a more serious subject in general, you're always nervous what people will think. But here's the thing: You can tag stuff. So if you're afraid of someone beating you with a stick for having risky stuff, tag the risky stuff and people who dislike it won't even read it.

Posting schedules rarely work. You think they do, but they don't. Ok, they do for a while, but then you're stuck in "I post when i'm done with one chapter". I'm actually planning a posting schedule right now for a fic and I know it won't last forever... but I can try for as long as I can lol

Someone might talk about your fic irl and you will never know. You're not sure if you want to know either, but you're also curious if people do, since you've talked about fics you've read with people irl sometimes.

Someone might actually be SUPER INSPIRED by your fic.

It's when I don't think as much about what i'm writing that the fic turns out better. That's why all my chatfics got so darn popular xD

There's nothing like staying up on a school night to finish that one chapter that you have to finish because otherwise you won't be satisfied enough to go to sleep!!

Writers block happens when you least expect it and it sadly just be like that sometimes. I suggest reading your favorite fics when this happens. That always inspires me to continue.

I never ever learn to not have too many fics I write at the same time, but sometimes I can't help it

Sometimes you will be the first one to make a fic for a fandom, or make a fic for a ship in a fandom, and then it's your responsibility to make sure to spell all the character's names right. Otherwise you're screwed.

Fic writing is wonderful. 10/10 would recommend, except that please remember that your mental health comes first

#fic writing #fanfiction

[that-was-anticlimactic]

top five fics of 2020

i was tagged by @zukkaclawthorne to post my five favorite works I made this year.

Rules: it’s time to love yourselves! choose your 5 (ish) favorite works  you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc.) and link them  below to reflect on the amazing things you brought into the world in 2020. tag as many writers/artists/etc. as you want (fan or original) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome works!

so. I have only published five on ao3 because I just worked up the nerve October, so. Bear with me haha!

1. finding the worth that is hiding beneath

This is one that I actually haven’t posted yet (because it’s not done haha), but this is a little snippet from it that I posted! It’s pretty important to me because it’s the first time I wrote Sokka with Tourette’s Syndrome and, if I haven’t mentioned it enough times, I have TS so it’s very personal to me. This was / is just really fun to write in general! It was my first time writing Zukka and has some personal self-projecting moments in it and was the first thing I actually wrote for atla (I think I started it in April but then Dairy Queen overworked me to the point where I barely had time to think about atla unless it was what blizzard the characters’ favorite would be so anyways it’s far from done). It was also my first time trying to write this style for TS (I wrote a oneshot with Jay Ninjago having TS and I wrote that differently). Anyways, I’m rambling! This fic is just really special to me and I can’t wait to finish it so I can share it with friends and others with TS:)

2. threshold of eternity

oh boy did posting this one terrify me! Not only was it my first time writing for Azula, but also my first time writing for Mai, Jin, hints of Jinzula, as well as interactions between certain characters. I actually almost didn’t post it because I was terrified that it would be too ooc, but I guess it wasn’t because people told me they liked it and thought I wrote well for Azula (which made me mentally sob happy tears, so thank you!). I have the tendency to focus on certain characters and I do that with Sokka... a lot... so this was also my first time writing something with minimal Sokka (... he was still... he was still in it though oops) and this was a great opportunity for me to explore other characters as well as their relations! Plus, I love Azula and she deserved better. It was also the first oneshot in a series I’m working on and I wrote it all in three days instead of, ya know, doing homework... I would just sit in a dining hall and writexD

3. Deeper Than Words

have I not talked enough about how much I love Sokka and that I headcanon him having Tourette’s? Yes? I’m sorry, this one is also about that. I wrote this in like five hours one day when I was sad because of my tics and how embarrassing they are (and they aren’t! that’s something I’m still working on), so this was very heavily self-projection but to the extreme because I have never been in a situation entirely like what Sokka was in in this. Again, it’s very personal, I got to show Suki some love, I got to write some Zukka, and I got to give myself the words of affirmation that I desire but don’t have the guts to ask for haha. I’ll keep this one short and sweet! I’m just... rather proud of it:)

4. unruly heart

look. I love the musical The Prom. perhaps and unhealthy amount. but also, this was written from ZUKO’S pov and NOT Sokka’s, which is an accomplishment in itself for me! This one was... really really really hard for me to write. I had one and a half pages sitting in my google docs for, perhaps, two months before I literally said “screw it” and finished it in one day. I’m not sure why this was so darn hard for me to write, maybe it’s because I had to write for Ozai and mmmm wasn’t sure I could do that well. Or maybe it was because it wasn’t from Sokka’s pov or because I have literally never been in a relationship and I don’t know what it’s like. Either way, I knew what I was writing was right and I wanted to write it so badly. It was hard to write, but I won and managed to finish it:) (and go listen to Unruly Heart from the Prom).

5. we say that it’s a brotherhood

okay. this is, perhaps, one of the most abstract things I have ever written. It’s kind of funny, I was talking to Grace about it the other day and even she went “and you only mentioned Sokka a couple of times, I’m proud of you!” (that’s when you know you have a problem lol-- kidding, I was thinking the same thing haha!). I started this when I was sad. Now, I don’t remember why I was sad, but I was very sad so for some reason I decided to make Jet suffer... and then Yue... and then Suki... and then Piandao... Ty Lee... Kanna... Aang... but I’m kind of proud of it? It’s rather different compared to other things I’ve written but I like how it turned out:)

this was excessively long oops

I have so many other atla wips in my google docs that I would probably have finished if I knew how to focus on something lol

anyways, thank you, Grace, for the tag:) this was fun to reflect on!

uhhhhhh I’m not sure who else to tag, so anyone who wants to can and some fellow writers I know are @tikmasjiens and @mcfanely and uhhh Grace and Ellen have already been tagged, so uh, again, anyone else who wants to should do this because we LOVE positivity:)

#tag game thing #this was nice #like to sit and reflect and just be proud of myself for something #atla fanfiction #zukka fanfiction #i guess? Idk should I tag? Do I tag? I'm bad at decisions #i'll just stop while i'm ahead #honestly i just use the tags as a chance to talk to myself lol #corey writes:)

[thisissirius]

LOVE YOURSELF CHALLENGE.

rules: it’s time to love yourselves! choose your 5 favourite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you’ve brought into the world. tag as many writers/artists/etc as you want (fan or original) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome works!

tagged by: @madroxed​

LOL omg i’m so glad i waited until now because i have more than just THREE WORKS in the last year, though most of these are probably gonna be 9-1-1 (i did try and make it an eclectic mess but alas!)

o1.  cross my heart (soulbound series, jono/patrick)

a yuletide fic that was out of my comfort zone, but it was for @madroxed so who wouldn’t do that for someone they love? ME CLEARLY. jono and patrick and the soulbound universe are all so appealing and rich in lore. i can’t get enough of these books and i consistently love them. this exploration of patrick’s inability to say i love you until it doesn’t count? i enjoyed myself immensely. 

o2. never just a wave (9-1-1, buck/eddie)

my first fic in this fandom. before eddie begins aired, the tsunami episode was my FAVOURITE. the aftermath was okay but the TSUNAMI EPISODE got to me. i had to explore buck’s feelings post-tsunami but as in everything else, eddie swallowed me first so it’s his pov. their relationship fascinated me from the off, but to trust someone so implicitly with your son that you say nobody i trust more when you have an abuela and a aunt? that takes some gosh darned love. 

o3. a touch of me (with you) (9-1-1, chris & buck (buck/eddie)) 

christopher diaz. what can be said abut him that i haven’t already screamed into the aether? he is PERFECT and i love him so much. his relationship with buck - i couldn’t not explore it. this is established relationship and while it is buck and eddie,it’s more about buck’s relationship with chris. i fully believe that in this scenario, a car crash, buck would focus on chris, knowing and trusting that his friends and colleagues had eddie. that emotional backlash would obviously come later. 

o4. take the weight (of mine) (9-1-1, eddie/buck)

eddie begins remains and probably will remain my favourite episode. (prove me wrong, TPTB, i dare you). eddie diaz is such a complex character and i love, love, love him so much. eddie begins was so heart wrenching for other reasons though; buck’s reaction to losing eddie was visceral and i know i choked up a little. i explore that here, with eddie watching buck’s reaction. it’s a slow coming together, maybe, but i like that more than i like an explosive reaction. 

o5. kindness is a language (which the deaf can hear) (9-1-1, buck, buck/eddie)

is there a fandom i won’t write deaf fic for? i have yet to find it. it was for a prompt and i will never be sorry i wrote it; i researched just what would happen to a deaf fireman and i was intrigued about buck, who loves his job so much having this major obstacle. i want to write so much more in this verse. 

oh man, i wonder which fandom i’m in now LOL

i am tagging; if you write and you want to showcase your work, PLEASE DO SO. i am hereby tagging you. tag me and blame me, i will ACCEPT IT ;)

#siri speaks #fic recs #maybe lol #is that conceited? #who cares #fic by me

[kckenobi]

12 & 29 for the WIP asks !

Thanks so much for asking!! Asgulppn (omg my kitten pressed her face against the screen and typed that and I’m just gonna leave it because she’s so darn CUTE)

12: What part is the hardest to write in your WIP?

For some reason, I’m really struggling with the endings of two of them rn. I’m working on some fics for a fic exchange, and I’m literally down to the final paragraphs in both of them yet my brain is like “no thoughts empty head!” I have the resolution to both of them already written, it’s just a matter of finding a way to tie a bow around them and make it sound good and finished lol

29: Five years from now, where do you see yourself as a writer?

Oooh in 5 years I’d love to have a book contract to publish a novel. Or at least to have gotten it to the point where I can start submitting it. I’ve hit the third draft of one I’ve been working on for a long time, and my brain is starting to scream “start something new!! Start something new!!” So I just gotta keep the focus and momentum to try to get there! Easier said than done lol.

Thanks so much!

From these WIP writing asks :)

#thanks! #asks

[bigskydreaming]

To me the most strange thing about the Dick is a manchild take is that often the same people that say this are the same people that say that Dick's primary characterization should always be as a pillar of support for Bruce and the others. So, basically that Bruce and the others are so helpless that they should be mothered by a manchild. As a preference, I find it it kinda ???

Exactly! There’s no consistency to it, and the thing is, I feel like a lot of people tend to treat Dick as a plot device rather than an actual character in his own right. What I mean is, even in big ensemble fics that feature almost the entire family, when most everyone has their own little storylines, Dick’s sole storyline is acting as a supporting character in everyone else’s storyline. Essentially, its like rather than people going into writing a fic with a specific characterization of Dick in mind already, like they do for most characters, I feel like a lot of the stories out there start with the author figuring out what their plot is, what their preferred characters are doing….and then Dick’s characterization within their fic tends to end up being almost completely determined by what role they want him to play.

Like……as you said, a huge facet of his core characterization is that he almost always prioritizes being a pillar of support for Bruce and the others….but in fanfics, he’s just as likely to be the antagonistic foil that’s causing drama within the family by not understanding Jason or favoring Damian over Tim or whatever…..and its like he ends up that way purely because writers want some internal strife within the Batfam, but they want Tim and Jason to get along, and they want Bruce to interact with Jason as a son and Damian’s too young to cause the kinds of disruptions within the family from internal/ideological disagreements that authors are usually after….so Dick ends up shoehorned into the role of obstinate last holdout getting in the way of the whole family getting along because he just can’t get over himself or whatever.

But then go two fics down from that one and its a whole other ballgame, because in this fic now, Dick gets along with everyone, everyone loves him, but ultimately in the end his lack of contributing to family drama comes from the fact that as far as that fic is concerned, he’s too ineffectual to ever actually be a problem for the family. He’s just kinda there, solely because he was the first kid Bruce took in, but no attention is paid to the fact that he created Robin, DEFINED Robin. And instead the fact that he’s still alive at all is basically implied to be a fluke because he’s not really that bright compared to the others, not really exceptionally talented compared to the others, the only thing he has going for him is he has seniority, and he’s just too gosh-darned happy and perky and nice for anyone to stay mad at for long……so Dick ends up shoehorned here into the role of comic relief, either by cracking jokes constantly and never taking anything seriously for the sake of ‘family morale,’ or just by being the butt of the rest of the family’s constant jokes. With these fics, you get 50/50 odds of it going either way.

And then on the very next page of fics you’re likely to run into one where he’s supportive of all the others rather than antagonistic, yes, and he’s considered competent and effective at what he does, sure, but now with these fics, he’s basically relegated to the role of wallpaper, because the story’s not supposed to be about HIM and the authors don’t want him drawing focus away from their preferred characters. He’s not the character people should be hoping or expecting to see in a starring or even a major role, when reading their fics, is basically what the sentiment feels like there. 

Like, he’s there, he’s present, he’s competent and helpful, but it largely ends up feeling like all of that is because ironically, having him NOT be there and coming up with reasons and justifications for that….would draw or require more focus on him than they want to spend. So instead he’s present in the story, but that’s about it. 

He largely just….exists, within these types of stories. At best he’s there to be a glorified bodyguard to his various siblings, and be hanging around so that he can swoop in and save them from any major danger that isn’t the direct focus of the plot…..but he has little to no scenes other than ones where he’s directly acting to save, rescue, emotionally support or offer sage wisdom or a shoulder to lean on, for any of his siblings or Bruce himself. 

He has no problems of his own, as far as the fic ever mentions, no priorities or personal ambitions beyond ‘always be available for whatever his family needs, whenever his family needs it’ and everything you learn about him in the first couple chapters of that story, when establishing his place/status quo within that particular fic….like, who and what he is and cares about and prioritizes and even just talks about in the first couple chapters will basically still be the exact same things in the final chapters of the fic….because absolutely nothing throughout the fic has actually affected HIM, changed HIM, impacted HIM in any kind of meaningful way that would lead to actual character development or even just….change.

…wait, hang on, I take that back. There is one sizable exception in these types of fics, where there is focus on Dick’s POV and him being impacted by the plot and ‘changing’…..but that exception comes in one form, and one form only: Scenes Where Dick Self-Flagellates and Regrets Being the Worst Brother/Son Ever to Jason, Tim, Bruce, etc. And reflects on how massively he’s failed or let those members of his family down at one point or another in the past, when they have only ever been there for him, consistently, without fail, and thus they deserve better than his previous fuck-ups with them and he staunchly vows to Make It Right and from this day forward, Do Better and dedicate himself to being the best brother, son, blah blah blah that ever lived. 

(With the problem being - or well, my problem at least, lol - like…..rarely if ever are these things Dick is beating himself up over, like…actually his fault or things he should feel like a terrible human being for. And granted, Dick has a definite canon tendency towards self-blame and assuming the worst of his own actions and the fallout from his actions, so its not like its out of character for him to be an unreliable narrator in this regard…..BUT like….when you’re using an unreliable narrator to like, beat himself up for being just the worst ever, you kiiiiiiinda need to balance that out with the narrative or someone else in the narrative at some point contesting that unreliable narration…..and being like….what? No??? Omg enough with the Catholic guilt Dick, you’re not even Catholic, and you definitely aren’t responsible for me dying in Ethiopia at the exact same time you were light years away on an entirely different planet, dumbass.” ANYWAY).

So I mean….there are all these various roles Dick plays in different kinds of almost….I wanna say like ‘genres of Batfam fanfiction’……and IMO that’s how large parts of fandom manage to juggle all these completely contradictory views of Dick without ever finding it odd or illogical that he can be considered to be both the Batfamily’s primary source of emotional support one second, and the thorn in everyone’s side the next. Because many people, I feel, just aren’t approaching his character in terms of how his characterization, and thus his presence, would affect their plot, result in specific kinds of dynamics, interactions etc…..rather, they’re looking at it from the complete opposite direction. They do all that with the characters they’re more interested in writing, and then when they have most of it figured out, they basically just pigeon hole him into whatever gaps in the plot need filling, and go with whatever popular take on him is most convenient for what their story still needs or is lacking.

And it all kinda loops back around, I think, to make it this sort of self-perpetuating cycle…..writers aren’t as interested in writing Dick as they are the other siblings because they don’t find him all that compelling, except what they actually don’t find all that compelling is probably more accurately labeled various fanon views of him that have at most just a superficial relationship with his more developed canon characterizations. 

But regardless, they’re not that interested in him as a character, due to mostly equating him with fanon takes that prioritize his usefulness as a plot device with ready made connections to most anyone else a fic needs to bring in, rather than trying to view him, understand him and relate to him as an actual character in his own right…..so they too end up also just using him as a plot device rather than try and even just give him some more development themselves. 

And it all feeds back into itself, forming this constant feedback loop that’s ironically mostly just fueled by itself, rather than anything outside that loop of perception and perpetuation….like, y’know, his actual stories and his actual well-established dynamics with various other characters.

Its like….you know how sometimes people are like “how would you describe yourself/this person/this character in just three words, like what are the three words that best encompass them in your mind?” Like…..that’s not SUPPOSED to be an easy thing to do. That’s SUPPOSED to be a hard - and revealing  - question, because three words is a very very limited frame to try and condense entire personalities into in a way that’s in any way actually specific to them as an individual rather than just a list of generic traits that could equally apply to any number of people.

And yet….I do not think a lot of Batfam fans would consider that a hard question to answer about Dick Grayson, and therein lies my eternal frustration. Like I’m pretty sure we can all predict what a lot of those answers would be: “funny,” “angry,” “cheerful,” “supportive,” “moody,” “hopeful” and various other things related to either 1) Dick the Emotional Support Non-Entity, 2) Dick the Unattainable and Impossible to Match or Even Relate to Standard or 3) Dick the Antagonistic Foil, etc. 

But my point is……I do not think a lot of fans would find it difficult to reduce Dick down to just a short list of generic character traits….because that’s the pattern I’m talking about in fics. A huge amount of his depictions in fic could be summed up with just two or three adjectives….because whatever role he’s been designated in a particular fic……that’s it for him, most of the time. As in…..he doesn’t at any point break out of that very specific and definitive box the fic puts him in because its been slated as the role/place/designation he’s most ‘useful’ to the plot and the other characters and the story over all. So whatever he is in that fic….he’s usually JUST that one thing. His actions are usually perfectly in sync with whatever the other characters expect those actions to be, his mood is fairly consistent throughout with very little variation, and his motivations are usually fairly superficial and don’t require a lot of digging under the hood to see what’s really going on deep down beneath his surface level.

*Shrugs* Anyway, that’s my take on all that, and the various contradictions that all conversations about him are practically immersed in, all at the same time. Granted, I’m biased as hell and who can say if I’m actually on to anything there or not, but for me the most telling and pertinent question about fandom’s perception of Dick Grayson is:

When one of the few things everyone can agree on about him is that he’s a natural performer and the face he presents to people around him is often just a mask hiding his true thoughts and feelings….

Why on earth aren’t more writers interested in pulling back the mask and seeing, writing, revealing or expanding upon whatever might be underneath?

Cuz the way Dick’s primarily used in fics literally only makes sense to me if you’re prioritizing his role in fics based on what the plot or other characters require.

Looking at him purely on a character level, in terms of archetypes? “Eternal secret keeper who even (successfully) keeps secrets from the rest of a family made up entirely of people who are both adept secret keepers themselves and adept detectives”…..

Like how the hell do you tell me that archetype’s only narrative appeal lies in advancing everyone else’s plots? For all intents and purposes, Dick is essentially the trickster archetype within the Batfam, innately predisposed to constantly come into conflict with his chosen father figure, given that Bruce in contrast embodies a stern lawful judge type archetype. Thus with the two of them operating off of entirely different world views that nevertheless can overlap just often enough to make that not quite a given….given that trickster archetypes, by their very nature, have flexible alignments and can go in entirely different directions from one story to the next, all while still being true to themselves and their core archetype. 

Then you have Jason, with it being hilarious to me that people so often write Jason as being convinced Bruce will never understand him the way he does Dick, that they could never have the kind of bond Bruce and Dick had in his eyes…..with the funny part about this IMO being that Jason is one of the Batfam MOST similar to Bruce, archetype wise. Because Jason also operates almost entirely off of his own convictions, based entirely off his own moral code….WHICH IS THE EXACT SAME THING BRUCE DOES….the only part they actually disagree on is the precise specifics of their two differing moral codes. 

Jason has always had FAR more in common with Bruce than he realizes or cares to admit to, and if you look at Dick as a trickster archetype forced reluctantly into the role of arbitrator or peace-keeper purely because there’s no one else stepping up to do the job, even though its not a role he’s ideally suited for because of how it constantly forces him into shapes and actions that are contrary to his own nature and thus result in so much of Dick’s personal conflicts ultimately being with HIMSELF….

….eternally torn between trying to be true to himself and who he wants to be, while at the same time trying to be what his family needs him to be because he’s the only one of them with a track record showing he at least is willing to bend to try and accommodate all their conflicting viewpoints, whereas they all tend to try and just bulldoze each other into submission instead….which never works because they’re all equal parts Immovable Objects AND Unstoppable Forces at the same time…and each too stubborn to admit that their siblings/father/children are just as stubborn and willful as them so they could easily stalemate each other indefinitely, if they didn’t have a mediator present, who has enough flexibility to contort himself into whatever configuration is needed to find some kind of bridge or common ground between two conflicting family members who each refuse to budge even an inch….

Well anyway, my point with that little random offshoot was just that personally, I think Dick gets fed the fuck up with both Bruce and Jason at times and just wants to knock their heads together because its so frustrating to him that neither of them can see how alike they are and thus how they’re always THIS CLOSE to finding common ground, they literally just need to like….each move an inch to the right and maybe pivot like five degrees or less…..lolol.

Anyway. I kinda got carried away there with unnecessary narrative analysis and archetypes and whatnot that literally nobody asked, but umm, in response to your actual message itself….err…yes. Agreed. As a preference, I too find bwuh????? to be the most accurate response to the frigidly cold take that ‘Dick is the emotional support pillar for the Batfam but also Dick is massively dysfunctional and a disaster baby who is literally the worst of the Batfam at taking care of himself and not just dying because his favorite pizza place doesn’t deliver on a Tuesday and he doesn’t know how to get food another way so he’ll probably just starve I guess.’

Oh well.

[easilydistractedbyfanfic]

10 FANFIC QUESTION TAG GAME

Tagged by the fabulous @reyslight ~ thank you!

1.) What’s your favourite genre to write? Ultimately whether it’s a smut fic or a sci-fi fic or an AU or a modern - it all comes down to ROMANCE! I write about my favorites because I love them, so ultimately I want them to be happy and that pretty much means they end up together. 

2.) Do you pull inspiration from real-life, or do you pull things from other books/fanfiction you’ve read? Oh, everything! I’m inspired by anything that comes across my path! Song lyrics, a random idea, ugly cups in a thrift store (I literally wrote a story with this premise), a book I read or a comment a tv show character makes... I think we’re all just taking our experiences and outlook on the world and interpreting it in ways that make sense to us. 

3.) Do you tend to write one-shots, short stories, or longer things? I write them all, but I tend to be pretty wordy. I have the most trouble with shorter stories because I like diving into character motivations so much!

4.) Do you prefer to write description or dialogue? This is tough to answer! In these choices, I think I’ll go with dialogue. I hope that readers of my stories think that I get the ‘feel’ of my characters via what they have to say and how they interact with each other! But my fave fave is writing the thoughts and feelings of the characters in the situations I throw them in. I love to dissect their reactions and how they internalize things!

5.) Favorite fic/book of all time? This one is also really tough! I read based on my mood, so it’s tough to say if I have a fave fic or fanfic “of all time”. I read so much variety, and I have go-to stories for different ships or different tropes or even different ‘emotions’. I don’t like not giving an answer though, so I can say with complete seriousness that my favorite children’s book of all time is “Miss Rumphius” by Barbara Cooney!

6.) Favorite trope? THERE’S ONLY ONE BED will suck me in happily every second of the day, LOL! Also I’m a sucker for sex pollen/aliens made them do it/do it or die... I mean, they’re all wonderful in and of themselves, but I also legit love how characters are forced to confront their feelings and awkwardness in these situations, or how it awakens something they’ve been trying to suppress. Love me some character dynamics!

7.) Are you the kind of person to work on more than one wip? Ughhhh.....yeah, even though I wish I wasn’t! I started out writing only one story, finishing it and then posting it. But then ideas just started pouring out of my head and I discovered that I write the most and feel most inspired when I focus on the story that feels the most urgent to me. I’m trying not to allow myself to have too many *published* WIPs though, because as a reader I know I don’t always trust that myself! 

8.) How long have you been writing for? I started in June of 2018. So a year and nine months now! And I have 36 fics on ao3 in that time. And WAY MORE on my computer in various stages of completion!

9.) Do you tend to write more during the morning, afternoon, or evening? At night, definitely! I have two kiddos and a husband so giving up tv or sleep and being able to focus when the house is quiet is always my best bet. 

10) Do you prefer to post and update your wip chapter by chapter, or do you prefer to wait until your wip is 100% finished before sharing it? I would love to be that writer who completes the darn thing before I post it... but alas...I enjoy the feedback and interaction with readers too much! Getting comments helps to fuel my muse and also builds my guilt which I sometimes use as motivation to finish! Ha!

I Tag:  @star-sky-earth, @ghostmontygreen, @keiraknighted, @agreytracksuit, @osleyakomwonkru, @hopskipaway, @kinetic-elaboration, @jarleene, @wanderleave and anyone else who would like to fill this out!

#tag games #fic asks #fanfic writers #fanfic writing #fanfic questions

[maiji]

Finally managed to get my hands on a copy of Genji Days! (Thank you libraries ♥️) It's a selection of diary entries from Edward Seidensticker, the second of the "main trinity" of Tale of Genji English translators (Waley being the first and Tyler the third, of course), from the time period when he was deeply focused on this project. The entries run from 1970 to 1975, and it's not just Tale of Genji-focused; there's many other aspects of his day-to-day - slice-of-life snapshots, the politics of the time, as well as thoughts on/experiences with other classic and contemporary literature and writers, though ultimately the recurring theme/topic is the translation work.

I think any modern reader, no matter how much you love the Tale of Genji, would agree that reading it from beginning to end even just once is an endurance test. Translating it - trying to get into the author(s?)'s head and reverse engineer intent and meaning a thousand years later - is a darned intimidating and impressive task. On top of this, he was dealing with the shadow of Waley's work (generally considered a masterpiece of translation, yet also known as a rather "free" adaptation, with not an insignificant number of cuts and alterations). As a creator it's comforting in many ways to read Seidensticker's own worries and insecurities about what he's doing as he slogs through drafts and rewrites. And obviously he has some interesting and insightful things to say about the writing and characters, but he also has plenty of funny and sarcastic comments too (see second photo lol). Even when I disagree, I enjoyed seeing his perspective - and the changes in his perspective - as he progresses through the story and revisits it at different places and times. (He was bouncing around the US, Hawaii and Japan over the course of the entries - mainly Ann Arbor, Honolulu and Tokyo.)

The beginning of the book is lighter on mentions of the translation work, though in the preface he says the focus on Tale of Genji really started in earnest in 1966 but that there were translation drafts of parts even before this time. Mentions kind of drift in and out, and as you move further and further in time it grows stronger until he’s in his “intense” final stretches.

There’s a lot I enjoyed. Below are point form notes on a few things that stood out to me and I happen to remember at the moment.

Acts of translation and creation

I didn’t know that Seidensticker actually originally started with the Uji chapters and actually wanted to publish them alone before being talked into doing the whole thing!

His glee at finding translation errors (not creative translation license) when cross-checking his work against Waley’s translation made me laugh.

The level of detail and effort that went into the readthroughs and re-readthroughs - he reviewed and revised his drafts by checking against Waley’s translation and Murasaki Shikibu’s “original” text at the same time, to see where things differ or drift and to attempt to justify his reasons for his translator’s choices or at least feel good that what he had done wasn’t complete garbage. 

Theories and thoughts on the original author(s) and also trying to figure out the thoughts and intentions that Waley had when creating that renowned translation. Because of the whole reverse engineering aspect, I find it fascinating to read about translators getting a feel for the author’s voice, and then feeling out of sorts when they hit a part of the work that just doesn’t seem like it was written by the same person. He also had lots of commentary hypothesizing what Murasaki Shikubu might have planned in advance or not, and also wondering why Waley cut or edited certain things - and sometimes resignation that (paraphrased) “goddamn Waley was right, this part is a bore and killing me” lmao

His struggles on how to deal with character names and where to introduce them without it sounding stupid.

Thoughts on how translators, in an attempt to make dialogue sound natural, may often end up with characters that basically sound like them... because of course your own speech and mannerisms seem natural to you. Yeah, I feel this.

Some days loving his work and feeling effortless and then the next day coming to his work and hating it all. And nearing the end of finalizing his work and getting super zen-like and hitting a who-cares, whatever, let-it-out-into-the-world stride while still alternating and flipping over to anxiety and nightmares about it. So relatable. 

Having nightmares about losing his work in a fire and getting super paranoid and moving his copy of the final work and a nicely typeset copy so that they are stored at opposite sides of the campus. My level of paranoia.

Character opinions

Omg his love for Yugiri. LOL. If there’s one thing I came away with with regards to Seidensticker’s opinions on the characters, it’s that he thinks Yugiri is the bomb and deserves all the marriages and all the babies. And TBH, I like Yugiri a lot myself so this his commentary really made me remember why I appreciated this character so much... until the Yugiri chapter that made me nearly throw down my book. That chapter didn’t seem to bother Seidensticker though.

Related to this, Seidensticker doesn’t seem to care for Kaoru very much at all. I find this really interesting, because for me, many of the reasons why I like Yugiri are why I like Kaoru. Even more interesting - Seidensticker seems to very much prefer Genji to Kaoru, and even NIOU to Kaoru. Choo Won, the lady who helped him with retyping his drafts, makes a comment implying Niou is preferable to Kaoru as well (that Kaoru seems smaller and meaner if I recall correctly). I’ve actually not read Seidensticker’s translation of the Uji chapters, so it makes me wonder how much of that is also his bias implicitly coming through his translation (similar to the point earlier about how translators unconsciously make characters that sound like them).

His remarks on liking Yugiri and Tamakazura more and more as he works on the translation, and how as he gets older he prefers sensible characters to romantic ones. I feel this as well lmao

A growing appreciation for the Kokiden lady that mirrors my own feelings. (I have thoughts about Kokiden that I will share also whenever I get around to doing her illustration for the Genjimonogatari series.)

That he thinks the Suetsumuhana chapter is fantastic. YEAH I LOVE IT

Random sex stuff

I wasn’t expecting so much talk about pornography and collecting porn and critiquing porn. I particularly liked this: “Then I stepped into a movie to see how the pornographers might be doing. They have made no advances at all. It is still very much a matter of gasping and writhing under a blanket.” (This attitude completely reminded me of some fics/doujinshi I have read)

His getting invited to a Japanese host club and (separate incident) a sex toy shop in Shinjuku and being absolutely fascinated.

Being questioned about his sex life by a Noh actor. His diary entry is like (paraphrased) “I kept making up lies lollll I might have to answer to this one day...”

#tale of genji #genji monogatari #edward seidensticker #genji days #translation #japanese literature

[fireeaglespirit]

@beyond-far-horizons

I do. I’ve always shied away from the LOTR/Sil community on tumblr or anywhere cos I want to keep my attachment to them all to myself given how formative they were for me and still are. Never the less I do like this interpretation of Melkor’s actions over Tolkien’s “he is Satan and darn right bad!” cos I have always been a fangirl of Melkor esp because most of the Valar are such stuck up good too shoes (apart from Ulmo - love you Ulmo!) Basically I adore Melkor (even though I don’t justify what he did) and Ulmo, like Nienna, Aule, Yavanna and Varda but Manwe….Manwe…just too good…and ‘the Windlord’ just isn’t a good title in some senses of the word hehe. It’s just the selfish way they acted towards the elves and especially humanity - no special treatment for them, no guidance (apart from Ulmo - what a dude) and then they wake up and get dragged into the war between Melkor and the elves - even though they didn’t start it and will not get reborn if killed. Okay okay Melkor was terrible and did terrible things but I’ve never liked that dualistic way of thinking as much as i admire the Professor. 

I’m replying here as to avoid any problems with the og of the post or whatever, but yeah... this is as far as I go concerning fandom right now but it was very worthy reading the book, I did enjoy it when I got a hold on how to read it properly. 

I must be honest and say, some parts were a chore to get through but others were so delightful it paid off in the end, much like other books I’ve enjoyed including ASOIAF which had painfully lackluster parts, I do dig for the gems and its always worthy.

I did write a huge post concerning the first parts of it and my thoughts, but I don’t know if I’ll post it as its a bit too harsh (extremely delicate subject for some, I know but for me nothing is sacred on this regard) on some elements which after some research made more sense to me. Also, taking in consideration the time period it was written and some info about the author made it much better for me to get into it, etc... I’m also highly tolerant of different world views (for real) so even thought I don’t agree with some of his concepts and I oppose some of them, I can sort of ‘ignore them’ in order to enjoy my cherry picked favorite aspects of the creation and even taking them into consideration is interesting for the ‘different point of view’ I mentioned.

As you wisely notice I don’t have much love for the whole bible-like aspects which by any means pertain just to the structure of the early parts of the book, but to the ongoing theme of the battle of good x evil, including most of the morale of the book itself which feels very ‘christian’ and monotheistic despite the presence of the Valar as god-like figures, which superficially might look polytheistic, Eru’s influence is undeniable even when he’s not actively present in the narrative: All good stems from Eru, or being close to him and following his way and almost every bad thing that happens is due to the meddling of a single guy whose own very existence was allowed by Eru and who opposes him... In the end, all evil comes from not following god’s will or not believing him. Don’t need to say I’m not a huge fan of the concept *coughs*

Anyway, I also recently read through the parts concerning Numenor and it made me angry also, especially concerning the way humans were left with no guidance at all, it no wonder they feel prey to manipulation, they were starved for something they could never achieved and they could never be enlightened on the reason for that. 

I don’t know and never understood why ‘faith’ or believing without at sort of clue or proof is held in such a high stem by most people, so its hard for me to swallow the way the humans were just told to never fucking go to west and to not desire immortality which was just natural for elves and spirits and they were not given a proper explanation or reason why... they just had to believe it. I know the Valar aren't omniscient too so they don’t know Eru’s reason either, but they could've been more helpful concerning the subject of the undying lands, I know at some point they are more open about it but perhaps it was way too late. LOL. What would it cost for a higher being to just go there and tell them the story and  functioning of the world, etc... I don’t know if this sounds stupid or even makes sense but I felt sorry for the guys in Numenor who died in the collective murder by Eru (this stank of bible but wasn't nearly as bad since well just a little part of the world was swallowed up :l and god basically killed everyone save a guy and his little family so props to Eru). I feel weird.

The problem to me is not the monotheistic setting itself, but the fact its endorsed and not ever criticized, etc.. I could enjoy any book with any world view as long as it challenges itself and Tolkien just goes straight away and never look back in this. I guess I just have a more ‘cynical’ or ‘doubtful’ point of view regarding deities in general, esp. monotheistic ones so I’d rather have some more shades of gray concerning those who oppose the all powerful god, just like you did regarding the demons on the DMC fic verse where you can see there are multiple forces at play and its not so simple, but I digress its just the way things are and that’s what the book is and its a relatively old book with different mindset and cultural references than we commonly have today.

To me, taking it away and just overlooking certain implications I can sort of get behind it, lol.

I’m also not a huge fan of the Valar, personally, they look cool as heck but most of them are indifferent AF and don’t act much. Worse than that, they don’t seem to hold much concern towards humanity... During the war of the wrath I just kept thinking “why haven’t you done this before??” and lol

I guess its a bit like my own Polaris whom after meddling with humanity for long just took a back seat, sort of understandable when things went awry before and you just don’t know if your meddling is causing good or bad anymore so you just let it be for a while, and for those beings a ‘while’ might mean centuries easy. The Valar, just like my dragons hold a lot of power, compared to ‘gods’ but neither hold omniscience so its understandable that they make mistakes, I just don’t necessarily agree with the position of utter indifference they took after some events... I mean to work with this theme concerning my dragons and how they deal with this so it was interesting nonetheless seeing the story evolve and what it leads to.

Anyway, the Silm. has a very interesting arc concerning its mythology since the higher power consecutively ‘take a back seat’ in order to let the world develop on its own, first of all is Eru himself and them slowly the ranks of spirits whom where once the focus of attention leave the picture one after the other until the story is taken over mostly by elves and afterwards even the elves leave the scene for humans to take over. This is very interesting and works to explain why the ‘powers that be’ are not as vivid as they were, etc... I really enjoyed reading the over arching theme and how it played out, it will definitely help me on my writing endeavors.

I totally agree on Ulmo like FFS he was the only guys still around when shit went down and he was always there trying to help the ‘good guys’, also Aule has some interesting facets early on and well... the Valar look incredible, especially Varda & birdy (fart) lord Manwe, but they don’t hold much more to me than cool looks, which is sad as they had potential. Also, I live for goth queen Nienna but she does nothing through the story...

Well, once more we’re left in the world of ‘what could've been’. I’m quite used to it and not complaining, just stating in my personal opinion the text could be easily turned into something much more interesting to me with minor tweaks. 

#beyond-far-horizons #silmarillion #random

[actuallylorelaigilmore]

Writing asks: 6, 11, 17, 24, and 25 :)

yay thank you so much!!

6) something you would go back and change in your writing that it’s too late/complicated to change now

Oh my gosh, the first thing that came to mind is both too late and too complicated and from the ODAAT fandom. Now I have more than twenty stories on AO3 that include the character Schneider, but when I wrote my very first one I expected it to be a fluke: I had never written fic based on a sitcom, I was just trying to get it out of my head. So I can forgive myself for fucking up a really basic detail that would never happen with any of my regular fandoms.

In my very first story for ODAAT and Alvareider and Schneider…I gave him the wrong name.

He doesn’t actually have a first name that’s ever mentioned onscreen. That’s clearly a deliberate choice that I can see looking back. But when I was writing my first fic with him in it, I thought he had one and I must have missed it. I looked up his character, saw what the ORIGINAL ‘70s Schneider’s full name was, and used that without realizing my mistake.

If two people had read my fic and nobody had ever reblogged it, then I could maybe have fixed it and it wouldn’t even matter. But the darned thing has over 300 kudos on AO3 at this point and was reblogged here more than a dozen times. I feel bad thinking people might have read it and gotten the wrong idea (like I had at first) about what Schneider’s name is.

And the worst part is that even now, I can’t edit the post on my blog or the story on AO3 so future readers aren’t misled. Because the use of Schneider’s first name is a key plot point in the climax of the story, and him not having one in canon means that if my fic didn’t make the mistake of giving him one, it couldn’t exist. It’s a big tangled mess. Good question though!

11) what aspect of your writing do you think has most improved since you started writing?

Hmm, this is harder. I know I’ve progressed, but my mind goes blank when I try to compare past-me to now. I like to think that I’ve gotten better at revision, by a lot, and I definitely think I’m better at writing kiss/sex scenes now because I didn’t used to even try writing them but I have much more practice at this point.

17) if you could give your fledgling author self any advice, what would it be?

There isn’t one perfect way you’re supposed to write, so stop aiming for it and focus on improving your own style instead. There are no shortcuts, so learn patience. Have fun trying new things, but remember that no matter how many first drafts you start, what counts is how many revised stories you end up with.

24) have you ever become an expert on something you previously knew nothing about, in order to better a scene or a story?

This one I was so hoping someone would ask!! I’m super research-averse, I mostly write things that I can get away with imagining, but I’ve tried to grow into it more through writing fic, and I have two things that fit this question well.

I spent a silly amount of time watching Youtube tutorials on hula hooping for one story, because I don’t think I even met a hula hoop as a child, and I definitely wouldn’t be able to write it convincingly at all. I came away not just able to describe hula hooping, but with a good understanding of the mechanics and what it takes to pull flashy hoop moves…info I will never need again, lol.

For another story I wanted to make one character a spy in a historical setting and another a soldier who would have reason to encounter her even though they would both be far from home, but I realized the idea might be completely historically inaccurate–and yeah, it’s fanfic, so I guess I could have chosen not to care, but I did, so into the obscure historical websites I dove. I became deeply knowledgeable not just about Winston Churchill’s use of female spies in wartime but also about specific small groups of Australian troops that were assigned to parts of Europe before they were actually needed to fight in WWII. Since I’m not a war person and didn’t learn anything about Australia in school let alone Australian history (I didn’t even really learn US history, let’s be honest, TWW had to give me a foundation to build on), I’m really proud of that, actually.

25) copy/paste a few sentences or a short paragraph that you’re particularly proud of

This is from an older TWW fic I’m still really pleased with, in which Josh and Donna try to work things out after Lou hires her–because I wonder what that was like when it happened offscreen. I feel like I captured their voices well, and I adore the last line of this segment so much it’s like somebody else wrote it. I love that idea that Donna leaving changed Josh as a person, when he was always so resistant to change.

“So, what–you’re never going to move on, is that it? You’re not even going to give me a chance?”

He shrugs. “I’m done fighting with Lou. You have the job. What more do you want?”

“I want you to stop acting like it’s some sort of sacrifice to have me on the team. After everything we’ve been through, you know better.”

“After everything–” He cuts himself off as his voice raises to the embarrassingly high place. “We shouldn’t get into this now.”

“Josh.” She shifts closer. “What’s the alternative? You ignore me on the campaign trail, roll your eyes when you think I’m not looking, shut me out. How is that going to help us win?”

He raises his eyebrows but doesn’t respond. Some things matter more than winning. He knows that now. He’ll never admit it to anyone.

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#replies #beturass #fanfic #writing

[roses-and-oceans]

So I'm kinda debating writing this out but I decided to anyway. On and off, I've been writing posts about how I'm feeling and then deleting them. Its become sorta cathartic but I just don't seem to do it that often anymore i keep things inside. I wish I can put things under cuts on mobile because gosh darn it I don't want you all to go through a wall of text and it not be a fic. I mean I know every one's going to ignore this and no one cares but hey, I'll give it a go before I fall asleep. Hopefully I feel better after writing this. EDIT:I feel miles better! Honestly I would have never gotten this off my chest if I did not write this. I feel... Undeserving. Undeserving of many things and people. It was an apparent issue, I realized, when I wanted to write fics. I thought I was selfish of me to indulge in something so pleasurable. Just reading fics made me happy but if I also wrote things, then I'd just muck it up and be hunted down like, "hOE DARE YOU. YOU ARE SO SELFISH.WHY" And its not that fic writing is a bad thing!! Its just I'm not allowed. Like everyone can have fun except me because I'm not worth it, I'm not allowed. Why? Goodness knows. I still feel like that sometimes. Like no one will read it, but then there'll be this witch hunt for me, asking for my severed head on a stick. And that's the case for most things. I try to make myself small, quiet. For the sake of not disturbing others, not getting in the way, not ruining things. So that way I don't have anyone hate me. And I guess that's why I'm the way I am. I don't want to be hated. I don't want to be disliked. I mean this modern age its not possible LOL but still I try my best. I make myself moldable and flexible for the sake of others. I try not to breathe around them as much so as to not disturb them. Also another reason why I am the way I am is because I was actually hated when I was younger. I know, "get over it" lmao, and in some cases I am. But being hated by so many people, kids and adults alike... And no one did anything to stop, to see me, to wonder why. Ehh. C'est la vie. I guess the "lessons" forced upon me had stayed. I was taught that I ruin everything, that I was useless, stupid, fat and ugly. And honestly back then I just shrugged and continued reading my books. But I guess I didn't block everything out haha! And so I've always thought I was insignificant. That I was merely here. I've never actually thought about my future, so Ive never gone to college, not really sure what to do career-wise. A lot of friends in high school were like, "yeah everyone had to do this thing for college we went to councilors and and now we're all set! :)" and I was like WAIT WHAT LOL WAS I ABSENT THAT DAY WAS I NOT PAYING ATTENTION WE HAVE THE SAME CLASSES BRUH But I guess I just thought I wasn't worth the extra effort so I really didn't pursue anything I didn't ask questions. Because I thought I wasn't worth it. Thinking about it, its really stupid. Like hello!!! I'm supposed to go out there and get what I want right?? But then I think why? And no answer comes because I don't see myself succeeding. I graduated high school, and right when I left, I had no idea what I wanted to do. I've never thought I'd live a long life. I just don't see it. Like what am I going to be doing??? Not much probs lol. I see myself as a background character, a stepping stone to another ledge. I don't see myself as particularly special. Kinda don't mind it. Like really I'm just here to enjoy food and music and video games until I can't anymore lol. I guess you can say I don't see myself. Also, another reason why I don't think of myself is because I feel I'll get too greedy. I don't want that I am so terrified. I do not want to be entitled and snobby. I'd rather go without so some one else can have things and it's just... Ahhhhhh. I don't want to be greedy. Its a really big fear of mine. I guess I don't talk to anyone about it is because its just so... Frequent. I already have one person who just is sick and tired of hearing it, bless his soul. He has a saint's patience and lord knows its been tested. But I see it getting shorter and shorter and I just revert to making myself seem better, like hi hello yes I am function ing quite well today. I don't think I'm worth the stress. And its not that im talking his ear off and stuff like I'm not like DROP EVERYTHING AND FOCUS ON ME I NEED U TO MAKE ME FEEL BETER. Because I don't think I am he says I don't talk enough. But its whenever I bring up the topic the convo gets shorter and shorter. He's lthe loveliest person he is amazing. He is such a good person!! Just I drive him mad sometimes lol. Im afraid of being manipulative. I don't want that either. I don't want to harm anyone like that but I'm afraid I am. I don't want people or things to cater to me. I think one of the thing that got to me more recently was my birthday. I know, lmao, bitch it was like two months ago get ooovr ittt. Its just. I'm grateful for the good times in between the bad, but it was the most miserable birthday of my life. Things were so chaotic, so heart wrenchingly sad, that I felt I wasn't going to be able to celebrate. Like I felt I was going to be erased. Friends were there, which was really good! Family... Not so much. I guess it comes with being the oldest. Haha I don't think I even had a cake or anything lmao. Honestly I don't care but I had loads of fun with my friends. But i guess its just the fact with everything going on, I was placed in the way way way back. Haha how selfish of me; things come up!!! And its okay!!! Just my birthdays have always been like that and if even the universe is like "nah is just a regular day" then it kinda just sticks to me that my bday isn't really worth it. I also feel like I'm doing everything wrong. Like even though I'm doing everything right, every single thing written down I'm following it to the T, but I'm still failing, still doing things wrong, still not getting any where while everyone is succeeding. And so I will be labeled as an idiot, stupid, useless and hated for it and banished, like I was so long ago. I feel like after reading this, people will actually hate me lol. Like people are like OMG U ARE SO STUPID WTF and just walk away. Like I'll be alone. And I guess?? If that were to happen?? Idk... I have a list of things to remember. Number one is "be kind too myself". HA. I wrote it so I won't feel like this haha, but oh well. Its not working so much anymore. I feel like I'm creating a sob story, like Boohoo bitch you think too much. Eh. Well its getting late and I should sleep. I'm so sorry if anyone has read this mess. Im not looking for pity or anything. Ijust wanted to get this out without disturbing anyone. Well I guess by posting I'll be disturbing... And I promise: I AM OKAY!!!!!!! SRSLY!!!!! if anything its just hormonal, I've been on my period for a few weeks now haha. But if any friends do stubble across this, I'm okay. Just sad and tired. I just need a nap and I'm good. Writnf this was really helpful and I was able to get what I wanted out and if I were to actually talk to someone,I'd probs stop myself and not talk about everything I just did. I wouldn't have gotten this weight lifted off me. If you stuck around haha thank you if not I hope you all have a lovely day. If I don't have a very good day, I hope yours is infinitely better!

#god please don't hate me #about me #hhhhh #I might delete later #idk maybe when I wake up #good night tumblr #not ffxv #I feel like I'm forgetting something but idk what #ahh I'm afraid to post this