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#trying to motivate myself to continue on some of my half-finished pics
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My Hero Academia. EraserMic. <3<3<3
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straykidsworldwild · 3 years
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Duskwood
Phil Hawkins x MC
Part 2 (1/2) : MC goes to work and a certain boy comes to meet her for lunch.
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Heyy guys! Here's a piece of part2. It was too long to put the whole thing on Tumblr at once (apparently) so I had to cut it in half 🙈 (2/2) is coming!!
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(I just made the collage. Credits go to the creators of Duskwood and the owners of the pics.)
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I slowly wake up, feeling and hearing something buzzing. With my eyes still closed, I slide my hand under the pillow next to mine to grab my phone. I hate waking up by alarms… It feels like I am being cut in my sleep. And I’m not going to lie… I love my sleep just as much as I love food. Who doesn’t? I open my eyes and turn the alarm off before quickly closing them again. I didn't sleep well last night… When I went to bed after texting Phil to tell him I got home fine, I couldn’t stop thinking about the discussion we had at his bar. Was I right to say “yes” for lunch tomorrow noon? Was he being serious? Is he playing a game? Am I falling in his net? I don’t know and I think that’s what terrifies me with him. I just don’t want to be his next hookup… If I start something, it’s for a serious relationship, not to play around. That’s not my thing. But that’s exactly what Phil does so… I guess I should just trust a little more myself. Anyway, that was just the first part of the night, because the next part, all I could do was think about my uncle. Every time I closed my eyes, I just recalled amazing moments with him. Moments that mom, he and I won’t ever have again… I laid on my back, on my sides, on the side… And I did this over and over until managing to fall asleep.
I turn on the lamp on my nightstand when I hear my phone suddenly buzzing again. But I turned it off… Oh! I grab my phone and answer the call after looking at the I.D. caller.
- Hey, mom, how are you? I just woke up… I tell my mother with a still sleepy voice as I sit on the side of my bed. The light is still too much so I close my eyes for a few seconds more. Suddenly, a noise coming from behind the phone call catches my attention. It’s not a noise I am used to hear her make... Mom? I call her with some concern.
- “He's gone…” I hear her simply whispering through the phone as another sound catches my attention again. Sobs… Mom is crying. I’ve heard my mother crying before. It’s so… Strange and heartbreaking. I mean, mom has always been that strong figure, fighting everyone coming in her way or in mine… But she never broke down before me.
- I know, mom. I'm so sorry. But… I begin to respond calmly, keeping the pain to myself. I’ve never heard nor seen my mom crying in my life. She’s all I have as a family and hearing her in such pain… It’s heartbreaking.
- "Can you come over today? I'll need you to finish the preparation of the funeral. I can't do this alone. And..." She interrupts me, sounding overwhelmed and submerged. I lower my head and keep a desperate sigh inside of me. I wish I could already be next to her and tell her to not worry. That she doesn’t have to do anything. That I will take care of this for her. But I can’t because of my dumbass boss… Unbelievable...
- I'd love to, mom, really. But I have to go to work, I begin to say, sounding sad and sorry for not being there for her. I hate it. I feel like I’m betraying my own mother. That I’m not giving her the support she needs right now. And maybe the one that I also need... But she knew uncle Alex for longer than I did so it’s fairer that I should be there for her... But once I'm out, I'll stop by your house to come help you, okay? So I can see you a little bit too, mom. I should finish at 3p.m. today, if my boss doesn't think otherwise, I tell her gently. Though, an unsure point is heard in my voice. We never know with my boss… If he had a bad day, he is capable of giving you two extra hours to do just because he wanted to.
- "You know, your uncle was always there for me. I remember when we were kids…" I frown with sadness to the sound of her voice. It’s broken… She sounds empty. Out of life. "There was this horrible kid terrorizing the youngsters. I was one of those kids being terrorized, but of course, as my big brother, he protected me. He always did. He was really protective, you know?" She recounts me in brief words with a trembling voice. I know the story by heart. Uncle Alex used to tell it to me as a bedtime story. He was the hero of course. I never doubt that… I hear mom sniffling and letting another sob out. "So was he with you, baby. He loved you as his own, you know?", oh… When she said "baby", her voice just completely broke. I could barely hear it. I continue to look down as I feel a lump forming in my throat. I miss Uncle Alex like crazy... "And he did the same when your father left..." She admits to me, going to the topic about how my uncle was protective. Which I already knew as well... It honestly hurts to hear all of this so soon after his tragic death. I still haven’t digested it. It’s still not real to me. I still think I will see him today or tomorrow or the day after tomorrow... But it seems to make mom feel better by saying those words to me, by recounting her memories. So, I'll listen carefully. Or I'll try, at least… If I don't break before too. Her pain is so profound… And shared.
- Mom, you don't have to tell me all of this now. Let some time pass. It's hurting you, I say with a slight pleading tone, hoping she will listen to me. I know it's hard to not think about it or to not want to talk about it. But I just think it's too soon for her. And for me... She can't turn the page in a finger snap. It’s impossible. Even if she feels like she did or she has to do it, it might not be the best way.
- "I love you, MC. You're my baby girl." She says over the phone, sniffling sadly again. I nod even though she doesn't see me. I am staring at the floor, my sight being blurry. Not again...
- I love you so much, mom, I reply to my mother, controlling my voice as much as possible despite the tight ball in my throat. She doesn’t need to know that I’m about to cry too. I hear her sniffling behind the phone call again followed by a new sob. I can't… Look, I have to go, mom, but I'll come see you later today, okay? I'll come with a little surprise, I tell her gently, wanting and feeling the need to cheer her up. I just want my mother to be happy again.
- "A surprise? You know I don't like surprises much, MC.", She replies with a mix between her crying and a faint chuckle before reminding me how she has always hated surprises. I know…
- That's why I'm bringing you one, I answer to my mom, cracking a smile to the sound of her faint chuckle.
- "You're a little Devil, just like your uncle... What's the surprise?" She begins to say before pausing. It's true, I got a little bit of him too. I guess it's because he sort of raised me and because I'm a (l/n) as well.
- Mom, if I tell you there would be no point for me to call it a surprise, wouldn't it? I answer with a gentle and playful tone before giggling. I hear her crying turning into giggles.
- "I tried. Okay, go to work, baby, and... I'll do a few things here... I'll try. Oh, and I ordered the flowers you asked me to pick for your uncle." She responds with another small chuckle before sniffling one more time. I smile a little more, glad to hear that I managed to make her smile a little bit despite the situation. She ordered the flowers… My smile grows a little more, glad about this news.
- Okay, call me if you need me for anything. Doesn't matter if I work or not, okay? I love you, mom, I reply sincerely to my mother, giving her a little cheerful tone.
- "I will. I love you too, baby. See you later.", She says back to me, sounding a little better then when I answered the phone. I smile and wait a few seconds before hanging up. Right… I feel like I have another long day coming… I let a long sigh out, as if I am trying to get rid of a weight on my shoulders, before wiping the tears in my eyes. Well, I've got to get ready...
Almost an hour later, I am on my way to work. Like every day, I see the same streets, the same cars, the same shops, the same streetlights… Of course, I am not going there with an ounce of motivation. I’d rather stay home or go anywhere else, but not there. I’m not saying being a waitress is the worst job, but my boss and some clients are actually really hard to deal with. Anyway…
I rapidly reach the back door of the restaurant I work at and enter the building which leads to the kitchen. The cooks and the waitresses are all here, ready to work. Oh, almost… I hold the door for Angie and she runs in, thanking me at the same time. We exchange a smile and get ready to start working. The clients should start coming soon… It's been three months since my boss decided to expand the restaurant to include a little coffee shop. I think it was a good idea, a good change in Duskwood. It was a test at first to see if people would like it. The clients seemed satisfied so that’s why I am here so early every morning now.
- MC! I look up immediately after hearing a gravelly voice yelling my name. My boss walks briskly towards me, a frown of madness plastered over his face. As usual... What time does my watch indicate? He asks me while showing me his watch on his right wrist. What…?
- 8:01am.? I answer, not sure where this is going.
- You were supposed to be here at 8:00a.m.. Not at 7:59a.m., not at 8:01a.m., but at 8:00a.m.! Is it so hard to understand in your dummy brain? He tells and asks me with madness, actually scolding me for arriving one minute late. As always, he raises his voice while talking, making sure everyone can hear who is commanding here. I guess you see what I meant when I said that I wasn’t very motivated to come to work...
- I'm sorry, boss, I simply say as I don’t want to argue nor lose my job. Well, it’s mainly that I’m not up to an argument right now… I have other things to think about. To worry about.
- Don't. Since you came late, you'll go home late. You're finishing at 6p.m. today, he tells me with a correcting tone, looking down on me. He’s joking, right? 6pm?
- What? You're making me do three extra hours for one minute late? I demand him with disbelief as I’m getting upset.
- And you're not paid for those, he points out seriously, still speaking as loud as before. Not paid?! Better and better...
- Sir, I can’t work extra hours today. I have to go see my mom this afternoon after work. My uncle passed away yesterday and I have to help for the funerals and… I explain to my boss with seriousness, going up against him. I mean, I can be shy and quiet and all, just don’t take me for an idiot or play with me.
- That's not a valuable excuse. Get to work before I change my mind and actually fire you for rebellion, he orders me seriously and sternly. Right… I look down, not responding to not receiving any consequences later. Everyone, back to work! he screams to all of his employees before walking away to do his life. Dick!
- Don't listen to this cold hearted dick, MC, I hear Angie telling me as she comes to stand in front of me. She’s a little taller than me. If you need to leave, then do. I'll cover for you. I knew something wasn't right yesterday but we barely crossed paths so I couldn't ask you what was wrong. I'm really sorry about your uncle, MC, she apologizes sincerely to me as she puts her hand on my shoulder. Angie is one of the only workers I get well along with here. Yeah, nothing goes well in this restaurant… It’s sad because it could have its potential. I smile at my friend while weakly nodding.
- Thanks, Angie, I thank her sincerely as I place my hand on top of hers. She smiles and nods back before the two of us take separated ways to go do our work.
The morning passed pretty quickly to be fair. I prefer when it’s like this. Working and watching the time pass is one of the worst feelings. There were so many clients this morning that I didn’t have time to get bored. It’s actually pretty rare that there are so many people coming in the morning. I mean, it’s still a little buzzy usually but not this much. I hope that will put my boss in a good mood and he’ll kind of forget the late minute thing this morning… Right, even I don’t believe this… I take the plates and cutleries that customers have left to clear the table. I clean it well and let other customers settle in. The noon hour and 1pm are the worst. There is often a line of customers waiting for a table but it goes on pretty well usually. Anyway… It’s time for my break. I put the dirty dish and cutleries in the bassin which is on a cart to later go to the kitchen.
- Hi, I turn around to look at the person who is not so unfamiliar to me, I'm looking for a pretty (h/c) with crazy (e/c) in which you would easily get lost in. Have you seen her around? says and asks me, a man, using a flirtatious and slight playful tone at the same time. I smile and softly laugh while nodding.
- Yeah, I think she went back to the kitchen a little while ago. But I don’t know where she went after, I reply playfully to my friend as I point towards the kitchen. The man softly laughs back before passing his hand in his long hair which isn't in a ponytail or a bun for once. How dare he look so good?
- How are you, Gorgeous? Asks me gently, Phil, as we are facing one another.
- I’m good. I have the same problem as last night, but I’m good. You? I answer with a very faint sigh as I keep a small smile before asking him.
- I'm good, thanks, he responds, having that damn smirk in the corner of his lips. The two of us stare at each other for a little moment, a smile on our face. I can’t really explain why or how, but seeing him here, now, like we said last night, makes me happy. So, is it still on for having lunch together or...? He asks me, a point of nervousness heard in his voice. He isn’t sure of himself which is so rare to see.
- Yes… I begin to tell him before hearing a gravelly voice calling for me.
- MC! I turn around and see my boss approaching us. Oh… No time for talking! Get back to work! He tells me harshly in front of Phil. Oh God… So awkward! I know I have said stories to my friends about my boss, but none of them actually saw the man talking to me that way. And I wish it wouldn’t have been Phil seeing and hearing him talking to me this way. What is he going to think?
- You're seriously letting that dumbass talking to you this way? I hear Phil whispering lowly in my ear. His deep voice echoing in my ear… He sounded like he couldn’t just believe what he just heard. Oh but it’s real, Phil… I live it every day like all the employees here.
- It's almost 1p.m., sir. I'm on my break… I begin to respond to my boss, not forgetting that I actually want to get out of work at 3p.m and not 6p.m. I still have hope… A faint one but, it���s still there.
- Break? He repeats my word with disbelief as he is standing right before my face now. No break for you today. Come on, move! He exclaims, speaking with a mad tone as usual. If I didn’t know him, I would think he actually hate me. Which might be the case… It’s not possible to scream so much on someone without reasons, right? Ugh, is that guy ever happy? Or just calm?
- Hey! I hear Phil’s loud voice coming from behind me before I could say anything to my boss. I slightly widened my eyes in surprise as I didn’t think Phil would say something. She's your employee, not your stooge! You should watch it! He tells him with a warning tone which I’ve never really heard before. The only time I heard him using this tone was when one of his regulars overstepped the line. I look on my left as I see Jessy’s brother standing next to me, slightly getting before me. Oh… He looks so mad.
- And who might you be to talk back to me? Questions, my boss to Phil. Oh no… I glance around us and notice that customers are staring at us, watching the scene. So awkward… Before Phil could do something or say a word, and mostly before it goes too far, I grab discreetly Phil’s wrist. He doesn’t move nor look at me. My boss is still staring at Jessy’s brother. He is not pleased at all...
- Look, sir. She's been working since 8:00a.m., and it's 1p.m. in less than five minutes. You can't take off her lunch break just because you're her boss, it's against the law. But if you think you are above them, maybe we could stop by the police station to see who's right? Responds calmly and politely, Phil, all while still having this warning and serious tone. I’ve always been amazed by how polite he can stay despite the circumstances or the situation. I mean, it’s easy to lose control due to anger, and I wouldn’t be surprised if he fights.
- 30minutes. No more, tells me, my boss, reluctantly giving me a break. Thanks to Phil… I nod positively before he turns around and leaves us at a quick pace. Phil turns around before looking down at me.
- Thanks, but you didn't have to do that, Phil, I thank him with a small shy tone, yet, thankful he actually stepped in for me.
- I did and I wanted to. But honestly, that guy deserved more than just a "talk", he replies with sincerity and seriousness. While talking about my boss, I could hear the madness in his voice. I nod understandingly as I give him a small smile, appreciating it for standing up for me. It’s not every day it happens. Come on, he suddenly tells me with his infectious smile. I don't answer. Instead, my smile grows wider while the two of us walk through the restaurant to reach the outside. Oh, he has a bag! How did I not see it?
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rawrkittenpurr · 6 years
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Personal Trainer AU - Jack Maynard Imagine
Word count: 4068
Rating: Explicit (really, truly explicit. mostly pwp smut. please don’t read if you are underage and/or unconfortable with that)
Warnings: none
Summary: Jack is substituting for your regular PT. Sex ensues.
„Hi, my name is Y/N and I have a session booked in with Louisa at six”, you said to the girl at the reception, handing over your gym membership card.
„Oh, I’m so sorry, Louisa had to call in sick today. Someone should’ve called you, but they must have forgotten. I’m terribly sorry, it’s been a bit of a rush here today, with two of our trainers feeling poorly… But I’m sure we can find someone to cover your session, or you could go in and train on your own? Of course we will refund you the price of the training!” the girl said apologetically.
“Honestly, don’t worry about it. I’m sure all your trainers are equally good, I don’t mind if someone else takes over, truly. But please do find someone for me, because left to my own devices I know I will just spend 20 minutes on the elliptical watching Brooklyn 99 and call it a day”, you smiled at the girl. It was Friday night, you had a busy week of work behind you and you were not feeling very motivated as of that moment. You came to the gym straight from the office, because you knew from experience that if you’d had to go home to get your stuff, you would’ve just slumped down on the couch and probably not moved until midnight.
“Okay, I’ll see what I can do for you. You can go ahead and get changed, and someone will be waiting for you when you’re done”, the receptionist said, handing you a lock and key for the lockers as well as a towel, “and thank you for being so understanding!”
You quickly changed into your workout gear – black leggings, a black sports bra and a flowy purple workout top with an open back –, pulled your hair into a ponytail so it wouldn’t bother you, grabbed your water bottle and the towel and headed out of the changing room. You were greeted by a blonde guy about your age, with really pretty blue eyes. He was attractive. This was going to be interesting.
“Hey, you must be Y/N. I’m Jack, and I’ll be kicking your arse today.”
“And I bet you’re going to enjoy that, won’t you”, you said to test the waters.
“Oh, I’ll make sure you enjoy it too, don’t you worry”, he replied, a cheeky grin spreading across his face. This was indeed going to be interesting all right.
“So I thought we could start with some warm-up, and in the meantime you can tell me about what you’ve been doing with Louisa, what your goals are, so that I can get a better picture of what you’re looking for, does that sound ok to you?”, Jack asked once you’ve walked over to the training area.
“Sure. I’ve been training with Louisa for about two months now I think. I don’t really have a specific goal in mind, I just kinda want to be the fittest version of myself if that makes sense?” you started to explain while Jack was directing you to do some jumps to get your heartrate up. “I used to always say to myself I’ll do it one day, like I’ll do it for my wedding or something, but then one day something in my brain just clicked and I thought why wait, why not do it now?” “So, no wedding coming up then?” Jack intercepted.
“Oh no, definitely single AF”, you laughed, “but it’s chill. I mean, I have everything I need”, you said, first of all to clarify that you were not desperate and second, because it was true. You were really not looking for a relationship and were perfectly happy with the arrangements you had going on when it came to sex. “Anyway”, you continued, progressively getting more out of breath, “don’t get me wrong, I still hate all of this. But then I see the results and I’m like yeah, it’s worth it.”
“I can see that”, Jack said, and you were pretty sure he was checking you out.
 Jack was not kidding when he said he would kick your ass. He gave you a very intense workout that pushed you to your limits, but you actually enjoyed it. You preferred working hard over half-assing your workouts; it gave you the satisfaction of knowing you did your best. You also had the feeling he had you do more squats than strictly necessary just so he could check your butt out, but you couldn’t say you minded that either.
“So, it’s Friday, you got any plans tonight?” Jack asked you as you were finishing up your stretching.
“I was actually planning on watching Netflix on my couch, but after this workout I feel strangely energised, so I might need to change those plans”, you admitted.
“Me and a few mates are actually going clubbing later, you can join us if you like. It’ll be around midnight though probably, so I don’t know if you’ll still be awake…”
This went easier than you thought. It wasn’t suave or smart, you could tell Jack was the sort of guy to rely on his looks and charm rather than his wit to woo over the ladies. But in all fairness, he was hot and he did ask you out and he was being quite direct about it, which you appreciated.
“I’m not actually a grandma, I’ll have you know. Midnight sounds good, text me where?” you held out your hand for his phone.
 Once you got home, you popped into the shower, washed your hair, moisturised thoroughly with a lotion that made your skin look glowing and smelled deliciously like a tropical cocktail on a beach, poured yourself a big glass of wine, then decided to potter around naked for the next few hours. At around 11, your phone buzzed with a text from Jack.
“Hey Y/N
You still up?”
At this point, you were about 3 glasses of wine in, and still naked, but at least you had successfully finished putting on your makeup.
“Yeah I’m good, just getting ready. Wby?” you texted back.
“Pre-gaming at Joe’s. Gonna get going soon though”
You wrapped yourself in your previously discarded towel, grabbed your wine glass and took a selfie. “Cheers!” you typed, sending the pic to Jack. His reply was a string of emojis, including the fire and the dancing girl one. He also sent you the name of the club and told you to meet them up front in half an hour.
It was time to get dressed. You decided on a set consisting of a high-waisted, tight midi skirt and a crop top. The outfit hugged your curves and showed off a bit of your tummy. Essentially, it put your whole body on display while still making you look relatively dressed up. You debated for a while if Jack was worth wearing heels for, but ultimately decided in favour of them. Then you grabbed your bag and headed down to your Uber.
The club Jack told you to meet them at was of the posh but tacky variety, trying really hard to look like it was in Vegas or something, with secluded ‘VIP areas’ with white leather couches and low, mirrored coffee tables. It was the sort of club mostly frequented by girls in their late teens and men of all ages trying to hit on them. You didn’t much mind the club though, because the music was good, a mixture of hip-hop and R’n’B, easy to dance to and in your opinion much nicer than the monotonous, electronic stuff. There was a little bit of a line forming out front, you hoped that the club would be decently full but not jam-packed. Getting out of the car, you spotted Jack standing a little bit off to the side with a small group of people, and walked over.
“Damn, Y/N”, Jack exclaimed, checking you out from head to toe as you were approaching him, “you looked fine this afternoon, but this is on a whole new level!” He pulled you in and kissed you on the cheek. He smelled really nice, cool and clean and fresh, but with an undercurrent of something spicy.
“You’re not looking so bad yourself, I must say”, you licked your lips. Jack was wearing a dark blue and red, tropical patterned silk shirt with the sleeves rolled up and a few of the top buttons unbuttoned, tight, ripped black jeans and white sneakers. His hair was tousled and wavy and somehow looked both softer and blonder than in the gym. You had the urge to run your hand through it, although you were quite sure it was probably less soft and way more stiff with product than it looked. Also that he wouldn’t appreciate you messing it up. Also that you would totally still do that later.
He waved you over and quickly introduced you to the bunch of people he was with: Joe, Conor, Mikey, Caspar, as well as a few girls whose name you didn’t bother to remember.
“It really isn’t fair”, you heard Joe complain to no one in particular, “Jack pulling these girls who are out of his league all the time.” Jack replied with a grin, saying how it was one of the perks that came with his job. You were not sure if this whole exchange was intended to be much more subtle or if Jack just didn’t care if his dates knew he was a bit of a player, but it was okay. You weren’t looking for anything serious either.
“Come on, Y/N”, Jack motioned you over and put his arm around your waist, skipping the line and guiding you directly towards the door, “this way.”
“Are you famous or something?” you teased as you realized you were entering directly through the previously described VIP lounge.
“I got connections”, he smiled, wiggling his brows at you.
Once inside, you each took a shot of vodka from the chilled bottle of Grey Goose that seemed to have materialised on the table in front of you as soon as the group walked in. A few of the guys took some pics and videos for their Snapchats and Insta stories that some of the girls with you tried really hard to be included in, while others were basically hiding. This was weird, but it was none of your business. A few minutes passed, and you were happily singing along to the songs the DJ was playing, dancing around a little on the spot. You really just wanted to get out on the dancefloor, so you took Jack’s hand and pulled him with you as the tunes of the new Jason Derulo song started blasting from the speakers. You were a decent dancer – definitely not able to come up with imaginative freestyle choreographies on the spot, and you were never quite sure what to do with your hands; but you were pretty good at copying other people’s moves and really good at twerking. What surprised you more was that while most boys tended to just hop from one leg to the other and stay in the background, Jack could actually keep up with you, pulling you closer and giving you space at the right moments while also showing off his moves.
“That was hot”, you exclaimed as the song ended. In return, Jack pulled you in close, grabbed your butt and kissed you hard on the mouth. It was a nice kiss, more lips than tongue, soft and wet and warm, inviting and exploring rather than aggressive and pushy. You had one hand on the small of his back, just above the waistband of his jeans, the other around his neck. You flexed your fingers and scraped your nails slightly against the back of his head, which he seemed to like, as he responded by squeezing you even closer to him, both of his hands on your backside still. Jack licked along your lips and you opened them slightly. Suddenly, he bit down against your lower lip and you pulled in a sharp breath, digging your nails into his skin. Opening your eyes and taking a step back, you broke the kiss and started dancing again. Turning you around, he drew you close to him again so that your back was against him, kissed the spot between your neck and shoulder softly and started to move against you, following the music.
The two of you spent the next hour or so dancing, grinding and making out on the dancefloor, only heading back to your booth twice for a bit of rest, drinks and a few words of shouted conversation over the music. As the night progressed, more of the buttons on Jack’s shirt became undone and you could now see quite a bit of his tanned chest. You have teased each other so long, both of you were completely turned on. You had butterflies in your tummy, a big smile plastered on your face and a pleasant, tingling sensation all over your body, as if your skin was electrified. You were also quite sure you could feel his hardness pushing against your thigh as you pressed into him while dancing. You lowered one hand and traced the outline of his bulge, palming him through his jeans. So far, you had no complaints.
“You wanna get out of here?” you heard Jack shout.
You nodded. “Back to mine? No flatmates, and it’s close to here. I’ll go to the loo and call an Uber, meet me at the booth in 10?”
When you got back to the VIP section, you found only Caspar and two girls at your table. Nevertheless, you said your goodbyes and made your way to the car already waiting for you outside. Thankfully, your flat was indeed close by and in the sparse night-time traffic it only took you about 10 minutes to get there. Which was for the best, because you two had a really hard time keeping your behaviour in the backseat decent. Your skirt, which normally reached to your knees, was pushed up to mid-thigh level, and Jack was stroking along the inside of your leg. Your hands found their way under his shirt, tracing out the hard edges of his body. You were kissing each other differently now, longer, passionately and with more intent, sucking and biting. By the time the car pulled up in front of your house, you were burning with anticipation. Although you usually didn’t tend to, you tipped the driver and made sure to give him 5 stars, he definitely deserved it.
Once you got up to your flat, you kicked off your heels and motioned to the left.
“Bedroom’s that way, bathroom too. Go on, I’ll be there in a minute. And wash your hands, will ya?”
While Jack took off towards your bedroom, you went to the kitchen, washed your hands and filled up two large glasses with cold water, then you followed him into your bedroom. Jack was lying back against the headboard of your bed, still completely dressed but with his shirt now completely open and hanging off his shoulders. He looked incredible, eyeing you expectantly. You handed him one of the waters and drank most of yours, setting the glass down on your dresser, a safe distance away from the bed. You shortly debated your range of movement, then decided to strip out of your skirt, discarding it on the floor.
“Nice”, Jack said in a low voice, sitting up a little straighter and putting down his glass of water. “Louisa’s been doing a good job”, he added, regaining his composure. You poked your tongue out and wiggled your butt at him, then walked over and straddled him, placing your knees on each side of his hips. Taking his shirt off completely, you finally had access to all of his upper body, something you have been looking forward to all night. You brushed your fingers lightly against his tattoos.
“You like them?” Jack asked you. “Yeah”, you admitted, your voice a little breathy, “They’re really nice.”
You kissed him again, then proceeded to kiss down the line of his neck and all along his shoulder, leaving behind little wet spots. All the while, your hands were roaming his body, grabbing and stroking. You couldn’t get enough of him. Moving downwards, you flicked your tongue experimentally against his right nipple.
“Come here”, Jack said, and you sat up a little. He took off your top and bra and started playing with your boobs, licking and sucking one of your nipples into his mouth while teasing the other one with his fingers.
“Mhhhhm”, you moaned, rolling your hips down onto his dick almost involuntarily. Pulling back slightly, you unbuckled his belt and worked his fly open, removing his jeans and underwear in one go. Then you took a few seconds to look at his now exposed penis. As you suspected, he was a decent size, slightly thicker towards the head, pretty straight and uncut. All in all, you were impressed. You took a sip of water, gave him a peck on the lips and leaned back to pull your hair up into a ponytail. You could see him perk up, after all, this was basically the universally accepted sign of ‘she’s gonna go down on you’.
Taking him in your hand, you swirled your tongue around the head, getting it nice and wet before taking it into your mouth fully. Keeping him steady with your hand, you bobbed your head up and down a few times, sucking slightly more as you were coming up, but not taking his whole length in fully yet.
“Talk to me, Jack”, you said, pulling off. “Tell me what you want.”
You were not averse to some dirty talk in the first place. Plus you pegged Jack for a talker, which hopefully meant he would be into this too. But most importantly, you had literally known him less than 12 hours, and you didn’t have any time to experiment. If you were both going to get what you wanted from this, you needed to ensure good communication.
Putting his dick back in your mouth, you started moving again, joining your mouth’s movement with your hand too, really getting into it. With each downward stroke you took him in deeper, until you managed to get all of him in. His right hand flew to the back of your head to keep you in place as you were moving just the tiniest bit, without really pulling back at all.
“Fuck, you’re good at this”, Jack proclaimed, and you would’ve chuckled at the compliment, except you didn’t want to choke nor gag. Pulling back, you started moving again, quicker this time, licking against the vein on the underside of his penis and swirling your tongue around the head at every move.
“Fuck. Okay, baby, keep doing that, but with a hint of teeth. Just like that, yeah. And play with my balls”, Jack was finally finding his words and you were on fire. You gave better head turned on, and giving it turned you on even more, so this was a win-win situation. Jack’s words went straight to your core and you could feel yourself getting wetter. You could also taste Jack’s pre-come in your mouth and felt his balls tighten as you were juggling them between your fingers, so by all means, this was working for both of you. With one last satisfied pop, you pulled your mouth off his Jack’s dick. Standing up, you took off your panties and opened the first drawer of your bedside table, taking out a condom and throwing it in Jack’s general direction on the bed. It was time to get things moving along.
“Do we have to?” he asked, with a slightly whiney but mostly just curious tone.
“Yes”, you cut the discussion short. Although you were on hormonal birth control too, so it wouldn’t have been necessary, you were sleeping with several people and you assumed Jack was as well, and STIs were really not fun.
Hopping back on the bed, you lied down next to Jack. Once he was done adjusting the condom, he lied back as well, turning on his side to face you. Cradling the side of your cheek with his left hand, he kissed you, reaching down with his right and swiping a finger along your pussy tentatively. You adjusted your position, opening up your legs to give him better access.
“You’re already so wet for me, babe”, he hummed appreciatively, “I wanna see how fast I can make you come.”
Pushing a finger into you, he pumped in and out a few times before adding a second one. Moving more in an up and down manner rather than in and out, he was brushing against your G-spot and you moaned out. Seemingly on their own accord, your hips moved against his fingers, meeting his strokes.
“Yeah… more… like that”, you brought out.
His left hand had never left the side of your face, now he swiped his thumb against your lips and you sucked his finger into your mouth readily. He continued stroking against you and you could feel yourself getting closer, your hips flailing aimlessly, desperately trying to find some more friction. Jack’s right thumb came up to circle your clit in time with his brushes against your insides, and in a few minutes you were coming, crying out and biting down on his finger in your mouth as your whole body flexed.
“Please, in me, now!” you exhaled desperately, grabbing the base of his cock and lining him up. He slid into you easily, pushing in completely and starting up a steady rhythm. You took a second to appreciate Jack’s figure above you. His carefully styled hair was more dishevelled now, a fine line of sweat forming at his temples along his hairline. You remembered your urge from earlier in the night to run your fingers through his hair. Curving your fingers around the back of his head, you pulled his face down to yours and kissed him. You were beyond words now, the only sounds escaping you being sighs and moans. With both of your hands around his neck, you held on tightly as he pumped into you, meeting his thrusts halfway. Slowly, you started to regain your composure. You could tell Jack was getting more tired, his rhythm growing increasingly erratic and irregular.
“Let me get on top”, you suggested.
Jack lied back gladly, helping you carefully readjust your position and sliding back into you. After a few slow and deep movements, you kept him buried deep in you, rocking your hips back and forth. You leaned back slightly, finding the perfect angle. Moving forwards and up, Jack was hitting your G-spot with every thrust, rubbing against the sensitive area all the way. Cradling your own breast, you started caressing your nipples, getting lost in pleasure. You locked eyes with Jack, who was watching you with pupils blown wide, his mouth slightly open.
“You’re so fucking sexy, Y/N”, he sighed in an exasperated voice.
“Touch me”, you replied and Jack obliged, one hand coming up to your waist as the other touched your butt, grabbing and massaging slightly.
Speeding up your movements, you could feel yourself getting close again, but you were also becoming impatient. You began stroking your clit with one hand, the combination of stimuli soon pushing you over the edge of your second orgasm. The pleasure rocked through your body, your eyes squeezing shut and your head falling back in ecstasy. As soon as you were able to catch your breath a little bit, you leaned forward again, supporting yourself on your elbows on either side of Jack’s body. He thrusted into you deeply a few more times before he came with a choked moan.
You waited a few seconds for both of your breathing to return to normal, then got off him carefully, sitting down at the edge of the bed and drinking a few sips of water. Jack got rid of the condom, then lied down, kissing you sweetly and pulling you down with him.
“That was fun”, he said, smiling at you.
“Yeah”, you agreed, wiggling down lower and pulling up the duvet to cover you; smiling back at him happily, “it really was.”
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nachtvlam · 5 years
Text
(4/4) Life Update
Okay I guess my mistake I don’t update this blog often. Please root for me that I do, who knows what improvements I have on my mental health.
Okay I am writing this in the midst of waiting for my classmates to finish voting of a poll, and my mind is thinking for writing the coming announcement. Lets breath and focus in the moment here. I am listening to My Mix on youtube, while accompanied by coffee, bread and fries.
Right this evening I went with my friends with fries and then saw a rainbow before being showered by hail.
Recently I thought is it better to be in a bliss that I did great and nothing’s going to go wrong. It does feel wrong and betraying my actual anxiety riddled self, but after doing this for almost two weeks I think there’s nothing wrong with the lies of positivity. It felt great actually. To keep going and not bothering about small tiny things. It feels such a waste of time. To overthink and depressed about it. Sometimes I felt really okay and managed to other myself from that depressed self. But it’s not easy to keep it up, some nights I just go back and plunge myself in the deepest of my thoughts. Gosh that felt wrong, especially after last night, I am still that same person. I haven’t been that improved and can’t laugh and detach myself from that depressing version of me.
But I am improving. Slowly. And I can’t be cocky about it, whenever I felt those moments of being really okay and othering myself I ended up drowning even more.
It’s not easy but I have to keep going. And I am getting better. I am improving.
Anyways so a lot been going on these past days. These are the highlights, all the good and the bad.
I (hope so) have developed a hobby of visiting the parks on the weekend. Last week to Dyle park, two weeks ago to Abdij van Park. I have decided that I can’t be on my own in my room, in order to fight depression. And since I don’t have friends then I shall visit the parks or places that are calming to be alone and have picnic or read books. Besides it’s free. There’s many places in Leuven that I haven’t visited, so I have to get to know every corners. The thrill of visiting new places and the calm and the freedom of it made me look forward for the weekend. During those times I felt whole, surrounded by beautiful things and made me think of positive self reflection.
Do you think the sentence that goes along with ‘I shouldn’t be depressed, there’s many beautiful and great things around me that I missed and should appreciate” could be misleading? Sometimes I do felt like that when I am happy, but when I am down I felt this sentence has no effect, made me sadder even.
My friend said that she thinks about puppies when she felt sad, that made her feel better in instant. I have yet to found something that makes me feel better (the great and shocking kind) when I am sad.
I do found something that motivates me to keep going: my parents. they fight every seconds for me to be here. i probably won’t be here if they’re in such sorrow like me. I can’t go down, not yet.
So continue on
I am going to watch Ex:Re aka Elena Tonra this weekend! <3 I just knew about the concert this week, even just figured out this solo project of her! The ticket has sold out but I was so lucky to find someone who’s willing to sell their ticket in a lower price!
Gosh it is so hard to stay positive while writing this post. I kept manipulating my mental and toying my feelings. It’s like I am on a shaky bridge between depression and positivity. Yes I guess that describes my current mental health right now. I need to start appreciating myself and my mental health. How to stop your self-destructive self? How to tell yourself that what I am doing to myself isn’t some sort of joke or experiment? That all this have consequences. Look what I have become. I am sick and my mental is deteriorating, I have to stop, I have to fix this. I need to get better.
Went to two interviews. One about being a staff in a burgerking outlet. The manager totally reject me but she said I should call her in May, very kind lady. The other is an internship but they thought my biochem knowledge is useless. But hey they need a graphic designer! So I should mail them again about my design expertise. Other than these for my job searching updates, I got accepted as an Indonesian tutor in tutoroo, lets see if anyone in this bloody country actually want to learn Indonesian. Then studaro finally contacted me! As a pre-sale consultant, more of my biosci stuffs, but their location too far away and they’re not giving me transport compensation so yeah. They contacted me again, this time as an IT guy. I haven’t got an idea of their programming language (C#, MySQL) etc but I just said yes and hopefully I can master the stuffs before going to the interview!
I haven’t continue job searching and focusing on the studaro and this internship. hopefully I get at least one. To cross that huge cliff and actually get a job. Please god I am broke sad and depressed. I got breakdown whenever I am about to do a job search so hopefully whatever I am processing now I get one!!
Productivity side, I managed to cross 10 chapters on my ongoing mystery novel. I really don’t know where I am going with this.
One night I was super proud of myself, that my novel actually going somewhere and then yeah I got really depressed over it. But right now I see this as something positive. I thought it was sad that all the things that I wished to happen here doesn’t happen and I have to write it in my own novel. That I am so alone that I pour it in my characters. For a short while I didn’t write then I thought if I just let all these disappointment and sadness inside me then it’s bad for my mental health. Then my novel is my way of healing, to turn my pain into something beautiful. And that is fine.
I write an article about Indonesian Day. And the people in my group loved it! I am so happy, although they didn’t promote it in instagram For Some Reason. Currently I am working on a map about Leuven, for my student publication team, The Voice. Although I am doing it pretty lazily because I don’t think they appreciate my work. LOL. I thought I’d be close to them.
sighs that’s one thing that been bothering me. I have been trying so hard to get close to people but they never consider me. I miss my friends last semester, those who actually want to hangout with me. Why they have to leave so short. Now whatever I do, I haven’t got any new friends and always ended up alone anyways. Feels so futile do I just stop trying and just be alone. Because I’d really love that. But then how would that be different than being back home where I am always alone because nobody even try hanging out with me (I still despise everyone back home vehemently). But trying is so hard especially when I fail. I am not good at it. I am so heartbroken at people who don’t want to get close to me. Recovering from it and searching for new people is hard. And I have already been into so much organisation already. But I have to keep trying.
I am working on a logo for intal but they not seem to like it LOL I have been half-hearted doing it anyways but their proposed logo is so laughable. i really hope they just accept it this time. other than that no I don’t have any much project. There’s still writings coming up for the Voice and I was so motivated about it but after I think about it, nope.
Talk about Intal. I was in my first humanity march in Belgium. My first march is about pride, but this time is about racism. It’s march against racism!! In Brussels! And damn it was a lot of people!! I wished I can write it but again the editorial in my team isn’t that great, anyways I still need to post pics about it. But wow finally I am doing something!!
I keep missing out great stuffs, it feels like my membership in Intal is futile, quiet disappointed. It sucks being in the sideline when all the people fighting for it you know? While I wait for intal, I’ll keep looking out for more actions that I can join. I really don’t want to be that kind of person who is only loud on the internet. I feel like even though I am already in an organization, there’s still a lot of stuffs that is happening to me. Imagine my life going normal and others are actively fighting about something and have time. I feel ashamed, and gosh how do these even have time and know about these events?!
Gosh I already wrote a lot. One more thing I believe.
I guess there’s a reason I have been holding it out. Question, can a guy and a “girl” just be bestfriends without calling it a relationship? Yesterday one of my classmate that I am rather close with just confessed indirectly that he’s interested in a relationship with me. Why it have come to this? My classmates were teasing about who are future couples in the class. Since this rather close classmate happened to be a guy, they thought we’re one of the candidates. So this guy classmate said about those things, including called me cute. This doesn’t bother me at all. When being teased I told them “I don’t know” not because I am interested, it’s because I am ashamed and seriously you can’t just let your mate down when being teased such things. Honestly I felt so confused and disappointed. We have talked about having a girlfriend or a boyfriend, I told him about all my crushes. Isn’t that enough of a sign that I want a relationship with someone else? Honestly I haven’t felt close with anyone in real life other than him. I am really comfortable with him and talk about all stuffs. Besides in this lonely place, I have no other choice than confide to anyone that letting me. I sound really selfish. But I do understand him and he has taught me about dealing with people more than other people. So seriously can’t we just be close like this, knowing each other as whole and not in a relationship? I haven’t said this to him. I haven’t said it clearly that I don’t want to turn this into a relationship. But what if we stopped talking afterwards? When he’s the only person around? Today is the first day after the teasing thing and it’s so weird that we walk around and sitting next to each other in class, even text each other more. It���s like I kept giving him positive signals. When normally I don’t even bother sitting next to him in classes nor talking to him. Hopefully tomorrow things just gets back to normal and we can ignore whatever happened yesterday. Hopefully this is better than flat out addressing him the issue of just wanting to be best friends.
ANYWAYS, so yeah lets talk about my crushes. I’ll do this in the next post I guess since it has been too long? Ciao! 
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Curse Perceptive Ex-Assassins
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Depressed/Anxious!Reader
Summary: Nat drags you out for a night and you feel uncomfortable already, then you hear some people talking, and you feel worse.
Warnings: Swearing,Angst(ish)-Fluff at the end
Word Count: 2133
A/N: Cause sometimes you just get the idea and the motivation at midnight, so you write until 2AM about, nothing important.*shrugs* Next chapter of “Wraith” will be up tomorrow night (I hope) and I have ANOTHER new pic in the works (thanks @imhereforbvcky for the help <3 )–Also, if you haven’t seen “Becoming Jane” and “Rebecca” (it’s from the 40’s), you should ;)
Posted: 8/28/17
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“Where have you been all day? I had to deal with the ‘testosterone squad’ by myself!” Nat moaned loudly as she flung your door open, marched in your room and flung herself on your bed.
“I was helping my friend set up her salon Nat. And the academy is gonna revoke your Oscar if you keep pushing so hard on the dramatic scenes.” She chucked one of your pillows at your head and you laughed as you knocked it away. “I’m sorry you were alone in ‘man land’, I’m sure you handled it with appropriate decorum.”
“If by that you mean I beat Sam and Clint over the head and cursed ‘till Steve’s ears turned pink then yes, yes I did.” She smirked at you as she rolled onto her stomach to watch you putter around your room.
You laughed as you finished putting your tools away, “yes, I believe that is the correct behavior. Where was Wanda?”
“She and her brother went to the Smithsonian today.”
“Still not saying his name huh?”
“Nope,” she responded, popping the “p”. You smiled indulgently, remembering the prank that Pietro had pulled that landed him on Natasha’s shit list, as you sat beside her and stretched your arms out to the sides.
“So, I have decided that since you and Wanda both left me to fend for myself, you both owe me a night out, tonight, to a place of my choosing.”
You closed your eyes and dropped your head so it fell back on your shoulders, there was no point in arguing with her, but God, you didn’t want to go out.
“I’m not allowed to pick my clothes again am I?” A sinister smirks was her response. You groaned.
The music was loud, but not bad, you had a drink in your hand, and two of your best friends beside you; there were worse ways to spend a night. But that feeling abated within about a half an hour of arriving at the club Nat had chosen.
She and Wanda looked gorgeous, as usual, and Nat had forced you into a dress. You didn’t particularly like wearing dresses as a rule, they are inconvenient to fight in, but Natasha Romanoff is not a woman to argue with. So there you were in a cobalt blue bodycon dress that hit above your knee, and your black pumps. Wanda had helped you style your hair, and you’d added your own makeup. No doubt you looked great, but you couldn’t stop yourself from making the comparison to your two friends. Not a healthy habit, but sometimes your mind made decisions without consulting you. Your depression and anxiety had been well managed lately, but in the presence of alcohol, that could change easily. It seemed tonight, was going to be one of those nights.
Nat was quick to hit the dance floor and found partners easily, Wanda was not far behind. You tired to join and have fun, but you didn’t feel right. Going back up to the bar, you switched yourself to soda, knowing that the booze wasn’t helping you, but even that didn’t help. You signaled to the girls that you were going to the bathroom. Once there, you took a few deep breaths, enjoying the relative privacy of the small stall.
A few other women trickled in, going up to the sinks and mirror. You could hear them talking, gossiping about their friends mostly, but the topic changed when one of them mentioned that they had seen Wanda, Nat and you. They didn’t talk much about the three of you, choosing to focus their alcohol infused thoughts on the men. One of the women was completely besotted with Thor, I mean really, who wouldn’t be, from a purely aesthetic point of view anyway. You knew him to be a lovely man, but a loud one and a slob besides. Another bemoaned Tony’s repairing his relationship with Pepper; you scowled at this, but it wasn’t as if you could come out and defend the man and admit you’d been eavesdropping. It became uncomfortable when the subject of Bucky and Steve came up.
“Now I’d like me some of that supersoldier,” one woman slurred.
“Which one babe, there are two now?”
“The blonde one, Captain Ammmmerca!” Her slurring worsened as her tone increased and you held in a chuckle.
“Well good, cause I want Bucy. I bet he’s just as delicious as he looks,” the other purred. You could feel your face heat up, even though they didn’t know you were there. It wasn’t that the thought of Bucky made you uncomfortable, actually, that may have been just what it was. You were shy, you’d always had more than a soft spot for Bucky, but there was NO WAY you were going to admit that. Plus he was still recovering, he didn’t need that lumped on him.
“But I thought Y/N and him were a thing?”
“What? No way, Y/N and Bucky?” Your eyes widened and your breath froze in your lungs, people thought that?
”No way that’s for real. Y/N is nowhere near his league, have you seen her?” The girls cackled, and their conversation faded as they finally left the bathroom, making plans to try and find Nat and Wanda to see if they could get an invite to the tower.
You shot Wanda and Nat a text from the cab, saying you weren’t feeling well and were headed home.
You controlled your breathing and kept the self doubt and eventual meltdown at bay as you paid the driver and made your way to the elevator.
“F.R.I.D.A.Y?” you asked, your voice cracking just a bit.
“Yes Miss Y/L/N.”
“Is there anyone else home?”
“No ma’am.” 
You thanked the A.I. and let out a long, ragged breath as your rode up to the common floor; you needed ice cream and a movie.
So that’s how he found you. 
He’d gotten a text from Natasha, who knew he’d just been out on his own, and asked him to check on you, telling him that you’d left rather suddenly.
Nat had been suspicious of your “not feeling well”, but then she was rather suspicious of everyone. 
Bucky sighed as he took the elevator up to the common floor, deciding to check there first. The doors slid open and he could hear the T.V., he didn’t recognize the movie but he could just barely see the top of your Y/H/C head above the couch. What he couldn’t yet see was the pity-party detritus scattered around you, or the tear tracks down your face.
“What’cha watchin’ doll?”
“Uh… ‘Becoming Jane’,” you croaked, hurriedly wiping your face as Bucky rounded the back of the couch, too late, he’d seen your face. You ducked your head, embarassed.
“Doll?” he asked as he knelt in front of you, taking your face in his hands, “What’s wrong? Are you okay?”
You laughed thickly, “Um, nothing’s really wrong, not really feeling… It’s just a bad night is all,” you smiled lightly, still not meeting his eyes. 
Bucky knew about your depression, everyone did. You didn’t hide it, but you also didn’t usually have a breakdown in front of anyone.
“And now you’re trying to drown yourself in ice cream, and watching a sad movie on top of it?” Bucky wasn’t sure that was really the best thing to be doing if you already felt sad. “Y/N that doesn’t make sense.”
“The movie isn’t that… okay yeah it’s sad,” you acquiesced, continuing to look at the floor. Bucky frowned before having an idea.
“Ok, stay here, I’ll be right back”, he instructed before dashing off to his room. 
When he returned minutes later, you had not moved an inch. He popped the dvd tray open and switched the T.V. off of Netflix, as the new movie loaded. He cleared the coffee table and couch of signs of your previous wallowing, wrapped you in a cuddly blanket and put a bag of kettle corn in the microwave. 
When he sat down, “Rebecca” had started playing. He put a big bowl of the fresh kettle corn on the coffee table and then scooped you up and pulled you over so you were cuddled up to him, half in his lap; this startled you out of your stupor, but you didn’t move. You both watched the movie in companionable silence, his metal hand running up and down your blanket covered back and sometimes running through your hair.
When the movie ended, Bucky didn’t move, but he did speak up again, “wanna tell me what tripped you up, Doll? You were doing fine earlier.”
You took a deep breath before replying “Nat wanted to go out, made me dress up.”
“Well I’m sorry I missed that,” he chuckled, “but I know that’s not all that happened.”
“No. It wasn’t really a big deal, just heard some people talking about all of us, mostly you guys. They didn’t seem to think much of me though. Said I wasn’t… good enough” You stopped yourself from telling him the conversation you’d overheard, but winced at your poor cover up.
“What did they say? Whatever it is you know it’s not true right?” You laughed at this.
“No, I’m pretty sure this particular comment was spot on.”
“Well, I think you’re wrong.”
“You don’t even know what they said, Buck.”
“Don’t have to, you’re one of the most amazing people I know. You’re strong, caring and smart. You take care of people, even me. And you can hold your own in a fight against Nat AND Steve. So yeah, whatever these people said about you, I don’t think they're right, and you can’t convince me otherwise.” He pulled you into a hug. You closed your eyes and rested your forehead on his chest for just a second.
“Thanks Bucky.”
“You still don’t believe me do you?” Curse perceptive ex-assassins. “What did they say, Doll? It isn’t true whatever it is.”
“They said I wasn’t in your league, Bucky.” you muttered into his chest, hoping he wouldn’t hear you, wouldn’t understand you, or that you could somehow disappear in that instance. 
None of that happened.
Bucky rested his hands on your shoulders and pulled you slightly away from him so he could look at you, you dropped your head again, hiding your face.
It took him a moment to understand the implications of what you’d just said. His heartbeat sped up.
“Doll, why would that upset you?” He suspected but, he needed confirmation. There had been so much in his life turn out so wrong, he didn’t feel safe assuming anything, least of all something like this. 
You didn’t answer, and tears leaked out the corners of your eyes as Bucky’s right hand moved from your shoulder to your cheek and tilted your face to meet his. “Please tell me,” he pleaded quietly.
You broke. Tears falling in earnest now. “Cause I, I love you Bucky.” Your shoulders shook as you sobbed in embarrassment, but Bucky’s shock only lasted a moment before he leaned forward and pressed his forehead to yours.
“Then I was right,” he stated simply, causing you to meet his gaze between sobs, confused.
“What… what do you mean?” You were thrown by his continued presence, you thought he’d have been out of the room by now, not still sitting with you, let alone touching you.
“I was right, those people’s comments were wrong. I’m not out of your league Y/N, if anything I always thought you were out of mine. You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to hear you say that.” He smiled and it reached his eyes, crinkling them at the corners.
Your breath hitched, you looked into his eyes, knowing he wouldn’t joke with you about this, knowing he must have meant it, but your brain wasn’t computing. “You- you wanted me to tell you that I loved you? I- I don’t... really?”
“Yes, really.” He said, both hands now cupping your face as he leaned in and pressed his lips to yours, just a gentle brushing before he pulled away. “I love you too, Y/N.”
Your brain caught up, and a smile stretched across your face. You brought your arms up and pulled Bucky into a hug just as the elevator doors opened.
“Who’s watching ‘Rebecca’ without me?!” Steve whined from the kitchen. You and Bucky chuckled as he kissed you once more, before pulling away to corral his drunken best friend.
“Be right back, Doll.” You smiled and as you turned, spotted Nat smiling at you from the doorway. She winked and waggled her eyebrows, you knew this would be all over the tower by morning… Curse perceptive ex-assassins.
Hope ya’ll liked it, sorry but I’m tagging everyone from my “wraith” list cause I am weak and need validation >_<
Tags:
@canumoveyourseatup-no, @imsunnysu, @ipaintmelodies, @blacwings-and-bucky-barnes, @littlxshit, @17marvelousfreak
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mouldyinlondon · 5 years
Text
first post!
after fucking around with the editing of custom themes that was made ever so difficult by the tumblr theme, i think im finally done setting up my blog and its theme! i might try to mess around with the html a bit to insert a pic in the header or smth eventually or change the background, but ive been fighting with this website for like an hour and a half now and i am  t i r e d.
who are u!
i’m camille! im 19, an aries and a white queer cis girl (she/her). i have a boyfriend that i luv very dearly and i’m from québec! my university is in ontario and it’s bilingual, as am i (my first language is french, and yes, i do have the french canadian accent, if you’re wondering). i am double majoring art and art history and i love it a lot! i’d love to specialize myself in english medieval history, especially in the fields of christian iconography and hagiography.
so, what is this blog?
this blog will be used to document my student exchange in london and the trip to the uk i will make preceeding that exchange. i’ll also document a bit of the process of applying for the exchange, bc it is quite a long one indeed!!!! i’ve been working on it since last semester and it honestly took a lot more time than i expected, especially because i have to make a preliminary schedule and some uni websites are especially hard to navigate. i might also talk about the planning that’ll go into the trip my boyfriend and i want to have before my semester.
what am i gonna do?
-travel across the uk with my boyfriend
-then study during the fall semester of 2019 in london in history
what’s the plan?
basically, i have quite a bit of money put aside for the trip and the exchange. i will continue to work this summer (im already pretty much guaranteed to have one, but it’s a haunted walk tour guide job and, although my hourly salary is quite good, i have very few hours; ill have to find another job if the one i have at the moment is only seasonal). then, in early august, my boyfriend and i will leave canada together and travel all across the uk. i have already traveled with him to his homecity (manchester, uk) and it was absolutely lovely! we’ll spend around a month/a month and a half traveling together and i’m pretty sure it’ll go extremely well, as our last trip did. we traveled pretty early on in our relationship, so i feel like after around 2 years and a half of dating, this trip will be even better than the first!
after the trip, my boyfriend will go see his family in manchester and go back home to canada. i, on the other hand, will be staying in europe. the university i will attend for the semester is the queen mary university of london. the semester there starts on september 16th, so idk if there’ll be some introductory activities or when i can start living on campus. i might just travel on my own or go see some family friends in france if i have to wait around. all i know is that it’ll be quite lonely. then, i’ll go back to london and try my best to have a great semester.
obstacles
there are a few obstacles that i’ll have to face to first of all be accepted but also to live there. first, there is the language barrier, which i dont think should be too much of an issue but??? who knows???
my first language is french and the accent in english that im used to is like the most basic, neutral, slightly canadian accent. anyone who deviates from that, i might have a hard time understanding. also, handing in essays in english is a bit scary. ive done it before, as my university is bilingual and i attend french and english classes, but it still makes my work a bit longer to do and my english doesnt have the same quality as my french. it also makes the process longer since i have to write my motivation letter in the language of the university ill be attending (so english) and i have to PROVE that i can speak/understand/write english....i mean i get the incentive but also....anyway, i can just basically show ive had more than a B+ in a class in english and it counts as a proof. good thing 3/5 of my classes were only available in english i guess.
also, my university does exchange programs in a way that you have three choices of university and depending on your gpa and your motivation letter, they give you either your first, second or third choice. my three choices are:
-queen mary university of london
-royal holloway university of london
-reading university
of course, reading was a filler. i would have wanted to put manchester as a choice instead, but the choice wasnt available for my program. i have a pretty high gpa (so far i have 3 A+ and 1 A, waiting for my last grade) and im trying to writing the best motivation letter that i can. ill have to upkeep my gpa to be able to participate in the exchange so fingers crossed???
where are you now in the process?
not many things are left for me to do for the application, and that’s perfect because i have until the 22nd to send in my finished application form (and we are the 9th, and my term has started). there are other things to take care off AFTER the application (like some meetings and obviously doing my schedule and booking my dorm room) but im not there mentally now,,, its a bit discourageing when i know how much work ill have during the term lmao.
so NOW what i have left is:
-receiving my last grade from last semester so i can enter my gpa and a copy of my grades’ summary
-take a picture of myself in front of a white background (lowkey waiting to get a haircut for that)
-i had to prepare schedules for each school with like what classes id be attending. i have to get approved my first school choice by my “department counsellor”. that was very unclear so i basically sent a message to two people + my department so like démerdez-vous lmao. when i get the schedule approved, i’m pretty much gucci!
-also my bf and i have to figure out the whole trip, but we’ll prolly start planning in april, after finals and when we have most of the money we want/know what kind of income we’ll be making this summer
-finally, ill miss everyone, especially my boyfriend...itll feel a bit lonely so i rly wanna keep busy so i dnt get too mopey. i always told myself i wouldnt stop myself from going away even if i had a significant other and i wanna stay true to that but it doesn’t mean it wont hurt...i know we’ll last for very long tho so this is just a few months out of many many more and we can withstand it for sure!
so that was a rly big post!!! had fun writing this and im excited to see what’ll happen! i should know if i’m approved in around march, so i’ll probably not update this blog a lot until then... can’t wait to be able to update it with lotsa good news, hopefully!
-camille
0 notes
neoyi · 7 years
Text
Anonymous asks:
(hope you don’t mind me asking this) what’s your art process like? can you share what materials you use?
Sure.
My process varies depending on how much I give a crap about the things I draw. Usually it starts off with an idea. Then it starts off with me trying to commit that idea to paper. Then I usually scream at this point as I try and find the motivation I need to grab a pencil and actually do this idea. This, incidentally, is probably the hardest stage in the process. Once I start drawing, it’s usually smooth sailings from here on; any mistakes I make tends to come up after I finish the work, and then I scream some more and wonder what I did wrong with my life.
I’m a traditional artist because my computer doodling skills is about as amazing as a lethargic boomerang that gets tossed and never comes back. I mostly use mechanical pencils, various ink pens (I’ve recently gotten into copic multiliners, though I have luck with Faber-Castells and micron ink pens) to ink my work. Copic markers (usually sketch sized) are my primary coloring choices; they often a wide variety of colors and is refillable to boot. I have some prismamarkers as well, but I don’t use them much nowadays. Still, I have a bushel of them as back-up just incase. 
Here’s my current set of supplies, give or take. The Transformers Animated lunch box houses most of my prismamarkers. It’s hard to see, but the refillables are to the far right of the photo. These things cost a bazillion dollars despite me being poor. Maybe I should get one of them Patreon thingamabobs. 
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These are my current sets of pencils, ink pens, and other doo-dads I use to draw before I color the dang thing. I don’t use sharpies whenever I draw artwork I give two shits about because they bleed through easily. Those tools are often reserved for my black and white scribble comics where I don’t care as much to make it look good.
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How I draw depends on whether I’m giving a damn or not. 
When I draw half-assed comics and art, I tend to make up shit on the spot. Here’s an example from this Shovel Knight prospecter comic I’m currently drawing (I took this pictures with a phone because I’m too tired and lazy to use a scanner. Sorry.) 
I start off with a rough sketch as seen here on these sets of pages. Usually I work one page at a time, but sometimes I draw them all in advance like I did here, mostly to try and motivate myself to finish the damn thing.
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Then I would ink over it (mostly I use a sharpie just to preserve my better art supplies for bigger projects) as seen here.
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Here’s a finished version ready to be posted in the near future once I touch up minor edits on photoshop and fill up the world balloons with typed text. Incidentally, I don’t usually draw the word balloons in comics so I have a greater control of editing in speech bubbles via photoshop on the final product, but that only ever applies to my webcomic; simple ones like these I do just draw ‘em in because it makes the process faster. Basically I take more shortcuts depending on the ratio of how much effort I’m willing to put in a work.
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Artwork I DO give a damn is slightly different. Most of the time, this is going to be my webcomic, Prince Marine: The Dandy Robot (*cough* link HERE if you’re interested in giving it a whirl. *cough*) That one is like planning out a friggin' symphony. I conceptualize a general story idea, figure out how it fits in the continuity, then jot down a script. As of this post, I have up to Chaper 8 ready to be drawn in the future (to put it into perspective, Chapter 4 is the current story that’s publically up on my site.) I then usually draw a thumbnail/rough sketch on how I want it to look. 
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These are the dummy pages, the ones I use as guidelines for the final product. The first 200 or so pages were actually drawn when I had only a rough guideline for the first five or so chapters; everything from dialogue to how word balloons were placed were improvised on the spot before I wrote my first full script. I’ve changed a lot of elements from the original editions since, but they served as building blocks for the first five chapters. The image above for example isn’t much different from the finished pages below: 
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The same rule applies to colored products. Ones that are simple and largely stress-free work are drawn on the spot once I think of an idea. Bigger ones are planned much like my comic, such as my recent Hyper Light Drifter 1-year anniversary pic. 
Rough draft on my sketchbook to get an idea:
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A work-in-progress on a new sheet of paper:
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Finished result with any minor little things I need to fix and add done in photoshop. 
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I use a variety of paper depending on how much I give a shit. Printer paper is my default for garbage doodles as well as concept arts and practices. Printer paper, FYI, are often not quality paper for the tools that I use, but they do in a pinch if I want to draw something super quick and cheap on the fly. That goes double for sketchbooks. It’s hard to find a good one that can support markers very well, but I usually go for ones where the pages don’t feel too rough nor too smooth. Rough and the markers look kind of spotty. Sometimes I think it leaves a neat effect like this art, but I don’t often recommended it if you’re aiming for quality. Too smooth and the colors don’t feel as vibrant. 
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I think so far, the “just-right” papers I’ve found are the Deleter Comic Book Pages and Hammermill printer paper; the latter of which has a stock card-like feel that makes it perfect for markers. That would be the two papers on the left side of the above picture. 
That’s basically about it. I hope that gives you a somewhat decent idea of how I do things. Thanks for asking! 
33 notes · View notes
spiritcc · 7 years
Text
Baskerville Hound
And here goes another series off the marathon list, with a final episode that went off with such a bang one day in November 2013 that I realised this series stole my heart once and forever. 
I’ll never stop repeating myself that the title is not a critical research failure on my part and it’s totally intentional, and maybe only needs a better phrasing at most. It’s not the hound dammit, stop side-eyeing me. 
Anyway, here comes the episode that wraps it all up nicely, shakes the irony by the hand, tips its hat off and makes you wish there were more, despite the fact that series was finished perfectly.
My friend Sherlock Holmes, huh
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I don’t know why I never really considered this episode anything special when it delivers so fucking much. I don’t know, I did think it was good and all, but for some reason I never gave it the appropriate credit. I think the main reason was that this was the last episode after all, it’s its duty to wrap it all up nicely. Idk what kind of reasoning was that, but for some reason I always overlooked it until I’ve read somewhere that somebody considered this their favorite episode. That was big news for me, like wow, this episode could be actually considered...an episode, that can be liked, not just a some sort of obligatory addition that has to end the series. 
Whatever the hell I was thinking, I’m better now, this episode is beyond enjoyable. 
First of all, holy shit I was not expecting this.
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I, just as always, totally expected this very genius very scary Moriarty to die at the Reichenbach and call it a day, because really, Moriarty always died at the Reichenbach. Always! No matter the genius, that’s always where it ends and Holmes defeats his “mortal” enemy and that’s it. I’ve seen Moriarty pull out the rope and shit, but I didn’t give it a second thought, because Moriarty always dies.
This fucking series hit me with a truck right there, it was so casual and yet so fucking shocking. I’ve never seen any other adaptation do that, and I’m pretty sure that’s not just my general disregard towards other Holmes stuff. Well, a few months later Sherlock S3 waddled along and suddenly pulled the same card, which was rather interesting since neither show could’ve borrowed the idea from one another. Suddenly the non-existent pedestal was stolen from the new series that did it first, but then this year S4 came along and HAHAHA bitches, we’re taking the well-deserved crown back. WE did it first, and nobody has still done it second, take it away, Holmes!
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He’s still doing the same business as observed in episode four, trapping peeps by card debts, demanding crazy stuff in return. The peep had a cameo in My Dearly Beloved Detective, by the way, as a gambling guy in the bachelor club. Come 30 years and a different adaptation later and he’s still gambling. Don’t do cards, kids. 
That was a very cool opening regardless, I think this series always nails that pretty well. Liked the cold colors, the canon exposition of what’s in those Holmes stories, they even squeezed some tiny chasing in, that was very cool in how morbid it went.
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Glad to know Watson and Mrs. Hudson are doing fine, very domestic, very settled.
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Don’t ask me why she’s still going by Mrs. Hudson, I honestly have no explanation for that besides the assumption that they didn’t marry in the first place, everybody stubbornly keeps calling her Mrs. Hudson. I don’t know, really, all the clues are there, but these guys are not this edgy at that day and age to share the bed and don’t share last names. 
Well, Watson’s pipes from the first episode make an arc
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As well as the infamous broken English that flashes in every Russian adaptation, good to know it’s still doing well.
Everything to keep the lie afloat, Watson sacrificing his pipes to appeal to the readers and the fictitious look of Sherlock Holmes. By the way, I completely forgot about that, Watson quit smoking there, two and a half years ago at least. Wow. Why tho, but I’m still impressed. 
Now, there was the second shook(tm) of the day, the final Mycroft reveal.
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When I realised we’re not going to see his face, I initially thought it’s because Mycroft was so important and so top secret we just would’t have the luxury. Just like Moriarty kind of, this show doesn’t let the audience forget that it’s just the audience that is far from being almighty, so here we go: a person from the highs of the government will not allow to flash his face left and right. 
I’d still like to stand by my point, because I still don’t want to accept the real reason being some good old trolling. 
Like seriously, when he came in I thought wow, okay, we’re not bothering with the reunion(tm) then, but then the reveal came and I just lost it. No, he wasn’t that important. He just always had the same fucking face. That was just Petrenko all along. That was Petrenko who did his voice, with a deeper baritone, that pic of the sibling in Holmes’ room had two identical dudes on it and Watson even gestured about their faces, but we never noticed, and got trolled for it. That was hilarious no doubt though, but the remains of my initial butthurt are still lingering. For the whole series they were like ooh very serious much mystery pay attention to everything, and then in this episode they just went “lol chill” on everything. I loved it, but not much when they actually fooled me. 
By the way, before I forget, Watson’s opening narration. The only narration clearly done in the present tense, which means everything before was written past Reichenbach. Watson’s life did turn for the boring there, even Mrs. Hudson said that.
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She continues to be the wisest of the bunch, always pushing Watson to do the right thing. Still don’t know why he needs to be persuaded, but oh well. 
I used to wonder who was who there, but now I know for sure that this certainly Mycroft. 
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The baritone, the posture, no quirks, nothing extra. Don’t think he was anywhere near as bright as Sherlock though, no evidence of any sort of extraordinary intellect flashed in this series. Maybe that’s why he won in Watson’s book, having Sherlock’s face and still acting adequately automatically makes him a better person, the plank is just this low. 
Here we go again with “lol chill” trolling, now I’m pretty sure the creators were just fed up with pretentious suspense about an event that everybody knows by heart. Random suspicious man that happens to be where the main characters go? There he is.
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Now chill. 
Now, the next time we meet Mycroft, THAT was fucking Sherlock. Before everything, before I got the chance to look at his body language and everything, I realised it’s this fucker in 0.1 seconds just by one thing.
That fucking laugh. 
That motherfucking laugh that been echoing in this series in its full majestic euheuehe, just this little fucking laugh was more than enough for me to realise The Holmes is fucking back.
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Then there’s the body language of a man having a seizure, the swearing, the drinking, all that, Watson managed to notice that too so that’s no surprise. Holmes the master of disguise that can’t even play his own fucking twin, never mind anything else. 
By the way, I’m going to give some credit to this fuck up of a man that sold his country to Moriarty, at least he was conscious about the situation to some extent. At least he tried defending West, after trying to blame everything on him beforehand alright, but you know, it does seem that he suffered and that’s good to know.  
And there goes the touching reunion, aka the punching reunion, which I found rather ugly the first time because well, you know, the Soviet series *clears throat* yeah I was still biased back then. Holmes and Watson exchanging insults, yikes. Now, it’s actually pretty funny.
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It’s all true what they’re throwing at each other, but it’s been said many times before and yeah, just losers bickering. Can’t believe I was watching those “friends” burn each other and I laughed. 
I can at least finally conclude that their friendship arc also makes perfect sense to me, both of them explained why they stuck to each other in the first place. If Watson’s motives were clear way before that dialogue, Holmes had finally vocalised his reasoning that was exactly what I’ve suspected: Watson is just this lively and curious to ignore him. Holmes brings the thrills in their lives, Watson never allows Holmes go beyond proper limits. They’re polar opposites, but that’s why they’re attracted to each other, since difference lights up their everyday lives. Weird friendship that always made sense. Quite refreshing to witness.
When things get way too heated, Mrs. Hudson slaps some sense into everyone once again.
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Is the in the gang? Is she? Well she should be cause yall fuckers kill each other without her being the only normal one. 
Mandatory Reichenbach explanation: yep, bullshit.
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This episode finishes the arc of Holmes’ Laugh as well, gifting us the best one to date. Thank you guys for not clearing the museum set up.
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These two have a great dynamic, actually, they only needed the child to come back to make it work. 
Well, the fun didn’t last long, the “late” part from the third episode said hello.
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I knew shit was going to go down when that made an appearance in the third episode, but it didn’t happen then, nor in the seventh episode, so I kind of forgot about it already. And that is when it managed to surprise me. 
This scene and the entire aftermath were the things that made me reconsider stuff about my opinion about Adler. I made it clear I don’t like her and her romance plotline was not necessary and it all annoyed me more than anything. Before I started rolling my eyes here, the fucking Big Ben stroke a big one. Well, of course it’s a pity that she lived such a shitty dependable life and was disposed in the end like a dog. Well, her murder was even kind of impressive since it’s the bestest Moriarty’s thing in action, but still. That’s where the drama ended for me seemingly because I’m not with Holmes on that one, but then the rest of the episode made me think about a few things. He was broken, angry, depressed, her death hit Holmes hard. I may say, he even lost in the end, just like maybe his Livanov dad before: Watson’s got everything, Holmes has just lost everything, even though he was the one that worked the hardest. I watched Holmes suffer there, and you know what, I don’t think I’ll ever hate Adler as much as I claim to, she mattered a lot to Holmes and I just have to accept that. She mattered a whole lot, and I might not understand that entirely, but I accept that - it is a tragedy. I think even the episode itself could be split into pre- and post- Adler’s death, because that was some massive final addition to Holmes’ arc. I don’t think he will be the same anymore. A lot of things will, of course, remain, but I think something deep inside him died with Adler once and forever. 
Watson counting shots again, always my favorite thing.
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Here starts the interesting part of the case, after the first part of the episode being so weirdly canon. This is where even the most inattentive viewer realises some things were there all along, like the importance of ballistics and random Big Ben pictures in the album. 
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All this Big Ben showdown was the actual ultimate dream of Moriarty, everything went towards this creation that was there ever since Moriarty worked for the Queen, if that’s what it was. Shitting on her plans every now and then? Alternative scenarios that Moriarty was able to afford. Chasing after some guy’s money? The self-funding that would’ve allowed him to build the weapon. Everything went towards one thing, one way or the other, and it always was Moriarty getting his revenge on the Queen. Such a simple premise, but makes so much sense in so many episodes. 
Here comes the ironically cynical part that I’m not sure I’ve managed to translate correctly. 
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Mortgages, that’s what it says so far. Bills of sale is what the wikipedia says. Mortgages is what flashes on the actual papers Moriarty reads, but then again, their fantastic take on English is not to be trusted. 
Well, basically, what were these papers everyone was so pumped up for? Submarine blueprints, monarch letters? Haha, the fucking government sells the crown because it’s constantly broke. Indeed, that’s what traditions cost, Watson, the government earns extra money by selling the fucking crown of England back and forth and profiting on percentages. 
That was so delightful in how cynical the reveal turned out to be, I don’t even care how far away from the truth that take was, I’d still totally imagine them doing that. The pride, the traditions, all those values - all for some mortgage papers where the country itself sells its pride, its traditions and its values. So in the vein of this series and how bluntly it approaches sensitive issues in Russia, big sentiment costs nothing, your own country sells itself. Fantastic, honestly, don’t care about the bullshit meter, I love me some truly revolting politics in never political Sherlock Holmes. 
Also, great sibling dynamic, Petrenko is casually great, as always, there’s a clear distinction between Sherlock and Mycroft. Plus, heil the all improving combined shooting techniques, you can’t even tell that this scene was obviously shot separately.  
Now, I did talk about the fact that this show barely explains anything and I hope that nobody finds this annoying, because as it turned out, that was always the intention and I will always love that. Take that wanky translation away, Holmes:
The curious reader can't wait to see what happens next? He waits for Sherlock Holmes to come, stretch in his chair, sort everything out and elegantly pull a rabbit out of a hat. And could the reader think of everything himself? He saw everything I saw, and he knows everything I know. So what, now let's see who will be smarter: the reader or Sherlock Holmes.
If you haven’t noticed, the show indeed never hid anything from us, it wasn’t like the reveal in the Hound that I still hate where Holmes pops up out of nowhere and delivers vital information that was nowhere near the reader. Everything was always there in front of you, it was always only up to you to gather it together and make your own conclusions. All the little details, let’s just take one: Watson figuring out that Sholto is the rat without explaining his reasoning to the audience. Sholto appeared everywhere Holmes and Watson went. Sholto’s views. Sholto was the one screaming at Watson to shoot his former comrades. Sholto stopped Gregson with his stick, in probably the same manner as he’d stabbed Small; Holmes elaborates on the nature of the wound in the next scene. All of that was always there, the Gregson scene even got some pretty evident focus. All these details were always there in front of you. Watson figured it out. And you should’ve too, since you’ve seen everything he did, no more, no less. 
I always believed that this show leaves enough information for you to make your own conclusions, and I will always love that. Holmes will not do everything for you, and you will not just mindlessly watch him do some shit and then come back with a perfect explanation. Can you think for yourself? That’s the question the series is asking from you. 
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Nah fuck the fanservice.
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So, I’m pretty sure the entire clock thing was pretty understandable, but I chewed on it properly today and yeah, it’s quite understandable. There’s the Big Ben, and there’s the Queen’s personal clock. The Queen’s clock is the important one, it’s the actual standard, and that’s what they follow in the palace. Holmes fucks with the pendulum, Big Ben is a minute faster as a result. Twelve hits, Big Beg fires. The actual clock shows 11:59, so the Queen remains behind the closed doors for another minute despite the Big Ben ringing. Since Big Ben was a minute early, the bullet only shoots the doors and gets stuck there safely. The Queen exists when it’s actually twelve. The bullet’s been already shot into nothing. Moriarty sucks dong. British weeaboos sing happy birthday. 
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As a little detail, when Big Ben hits twelve, you could actually see the weapon firing, but the Queen is still inside.  
Watson had the final attack of this series and that one hit him hard.
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Again, the post-war trauma arc, which will never finish because it never actually vanishes as the narrative pleases. To be honest, here it actually served the narrative as a way of leaving Watson behind to have the Holmes vs. Moriarty 1 to 1, but you know, still nice to know they’ve never forgotten. Poor Watson though.
Thinking about it now, I think I can understand why the creators never fancied the waterfall fight, if that’s what it was.
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Because it’s not their fight. 
Maybe I’m going crazy with all those details that aren’t probably there, but I started noticing that Holmes and Moriarty are kinda similar. I don’t want to pull some pretentious “two alike minds at different sides of law” thing, but there were parallels. Episode three, Watson says a whore doesn’t matter when thousands of soldiers are involved, Holmes calls him an accountant. Next scene, Holmes decided to quote Watson saying a whore is not worth the lives of thousands of soldiers, Moriarty calls him an accountant. Episode six, Lestrade says police sounds scary, Holmes replies that they can be bribed, poisoned, killed. Moriarty flashback. Policemen say police sounds scary, Moriarty replies the same as Holmes. Every scheme Moriarty does, Holmes always figures it out, because he can keep up with the man’s vivid imagination when it comes to crimes. Both are scientists. Both wear glasses at the end of the day. Both operate with the only extraordinary thing they have - their brains. 
And that’s why I think the waterfalls don’t work in their narrative, a physical fight is not their fight. That was their true fight - sitting next to each other at the top of Big Ben, patiently waiting until their strictly intellectual game outplays their opponent. In this series, Holmes and Moriarty fight with their intelligence, and that final showdown was their ultimate round, and by god it was much more fascinating than the beating. 
This is where I started to realise that every character had an arc that I followed to the point that I felt like I knew everyone for years. I knew exactly what Holmes was thinking about before the flashbacks even bothered to elaborate.
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The man went through a lot during this series, he’s lost a lot, he’s suffered a lot, but despite everything he always carried on, and his little brainy game played the most amazing act to date.
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I shed a tear because I’m so proud of him. He deserves all the applause there is. He has indeed won, as many times before, but this day, it was truly his triumph, for Irene and for everyone else.
And in the most ironic way ever, Moriarty just kills himself. See, in the end, Moriarty could only be killed by Moriarty. Fair enough, he’s lost his biggest battle, but his suicide is just as satisfying as it’s...kinda underwhelming in a hilarious way. 
What still doesn’t leave my head is Holmes’ last words to Moriarty: “Professor, let’s go”. What was he planning to do? Did Holmes really just win and propose Moriarty to just...leave the clock together for starters? Those words honestly do not leave my mind, that speaks so much about who Holmes is and even how he treats his own achievement. 
The final winner, the awkward conqueror of the world.
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All of that happened and nobody would ever find out. Stakes so high, yet so invisible. 
A second arc coming to an end, Lestrade and his secrets and weaknesses. I mentioned it a lot how much I love this little scene and how quality Boyarsky’s acting is, the man went from happiness to murder in less than a second. And when he asked about Higgis, Holmes lied to him, and I’ve known Lestrade for so long now I perfectly understand why. I see Lestrade on the outside, but at the end of the series, I feel I can see through him, what breaks his heart and scares him, even though the show doesn’t give any visible clues about that anymore.
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I see you now, Lestrade, and I love you. 
Let’s also point out that Holmes decided to lie because he knew what the news would do to Lestrade. Holmes actually cared that much he decided not to break him. 
This lady I haven’t mentioned yet, she’s been here and there on tv, but this role is one of the few dramatic ones and I think she played it beautifully.
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Holmes just can’t stop staring, because I think that he realises both of them are going through the same thing.
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Sucks to lose a loved one, not exactly glad to know you’re not the only one. 
The show just keeps punching, now since the first time in forever we are refused in watching everything Holmes does, and when he does, it’s a completely sudden beautiful, and very painful performance on his violin, the one that he allegedly never learned how to master.
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The tragic ceases with this freakin guest
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Mrs. Hudson’s face in the background,
The Queen, yes, the actress finishes the Barrymore couple from the Soviet series. Mr. Barrymore was the editor here, Mrs. Barrymore - well, here. Quality canon migration. 
The Queen is such a real MVP she actually acknowledges the fact that Watson wrote the stories, and actually applauds him. Then the Queen delivers a burn to Mycroft’s self-esteem, that was great. 
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Then the Queen delivers another burn to the audience by pulling out this little file
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That explains a lot :’) I’m sure it does Sherlock my boy :’) I’m really glad you got to know all of that :’) you that have seen everything we did :’) I’m sure you deserved to know the entire explanation :’) we’ll just congratulate you :’)
Well, if so, even from whatever we’ve got I think there’s enough to finish the puzzle. Moriarty probably worked for the Queen one way or another, conflict over the weapon, went into hiding, Queen went on a hunt, she was chasing him and he kept systematically poisoning her life. Whatever in that file would probably be totally mindblowing but :’) whatever we’ve got I guess.
And finally, the Queen delivers her final present and I even went so unnecessary extra as far as to split the subtitles and give “dog” a separate line to keep the hilariousness.
Here comes dat good boi the subject of this episode’s title, Baskerville
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That was legit fucking hilarious, a final spit into the Make Your Own Unique Holmes Adaptation 101 kit that always included the mandatory hound adaptation: here’s your fucking hound. Of the Baskervilles. Woof. 
Made even funnier on a meta example since Watson probably got so fed with the dog he wrote the entire story where he gets Holmes to shoot the fucker five times after calling it names. 
Also, here goes my final crazy reference hunt of the day, but if that was intentional, then it’s the ultimate shout out.
Hound of the Baskervilles 1983, Frankland’s dog.
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Sherlock Holmes 2013, Baskerville Hound, image above. 
?????
And finishing the awesomeness exchange, Holmes gifts the Queen the same penny that saved her life.
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Finally, the main arc of this one main character of this show ends up in a single, very satisfying sentence.
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I’m a writer. 
If you’d followed his remarks since episode one, that is satisfying beyond belief.
Holmes and Watson’s friendship is sure a weird, but a still an enjoyable one. They can hate on each other however they want, switch from respectable to informal “you” depending on how pissed they are, they can bicker all the want because they are different. But both know they’re invaluable to each other. As the director said, Holmes becomes the Holmes we know because of Watson. But Watson becomes the Watson we know because of Holmes. 
How is he going to call his new book? My friend Sherlock Holmes.
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Hi, the accidental ACD of this universe. Of course Watson can name his book whatever he wishes. Because YOU, editor sir, certainly support the final line of this entire series: especially when all those stories are lies anyway.
The credits roll, the music kicks in, and I cry, cry every time because I love this show so much. Whatever there was, it all wraps up nicely, everyone went through an arc, the story makes perfect sense, the series is awesome, and I will never ever regret clinging on it so hard that I decided to subtitle it. 
So here it is, Sherlock Holmes 2013. An incredibly unique and fantastic series that sure has changed my life no matter how much I’d want to deny it. Of course, I have a blog about you, just like about the Soviet series, and just like about every other Russian SH adaptation - of course I’ll see you in like five minutes. It doesn’t make another journey any less emotional though. 
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Fit Radio Success Story: LaDonna W. - Fit Radio Workout MusicFit Radio Workout Music
My name is LaDonna Willis. I turned 40 this year and am a wife, mother, and recently became a “Gramma” to the most beautiful grandson in the whole world! When I’m not working as a rural health clinic administrator, I enjoy family time, reading, wine, the outdoors, and working out. I’ve not always considered myself to be athletic; that mindset began the year I turned 35.
My journey to health and wellness began when I was forced to buy a 3xl sweatshirt in the fall of 2012. That was the game changer. I weighed 236 on a 5’5” frame. I cried. I was angry at myself. What was the next year going to be: a 4x purchase and where would it end? It took me a few weeks of wallowing in self-pity and sadness, but I finally raised my eyes to the mirror and said to myself, “You got yourself here and nobody can change it but you!”
I decided that January 1, 2013, was going to be the day I started over with food choices and physical activity. I drank my last soda and sweet glass of tea on 12-31-12. I’ve not had either one since and that’s a personal choice I made, but absolutely two things I’ve never reintroduced to my diet. I used to drink sweet tea from morning until night, daily, with a soda a day somewhere in between, so that was a huge step for me.
Next, I added movement. I committed to the gym 3 days per week and most days it took everything I had just to walk for 30 minutes on the treadmill. I cut my daily calories and began to make healthier food choices. Before I knew it, I was shedding pounds which motivated me to want to hit the gym 5-7 days per week. Walking turned to jogging; jogging to sprint intervals.
A few months passed and I was no longer satisfied with the treadmill. I was bored, but I knew I didn’t want to stop there, so I took my jogging legs to the track. The track is a scary place when all your memories of it are of your friends showing their athletic abilities in that arena. Surely if I visited there and attempted to run, I’d look like a fool and fail at what came so easily to them. I went anyway.
Pictured in the before and after pic (above), let me tell you about the person on the left: she was depressed, tired, only interested in things she had to be…went from work to home and her son’s activities only, avoided crowds, and the public as much as possible. Shyed from mirrors, wore jackets over most everything, even in summer. She used food for comfort all the time: food doesn’t need anything from you when the rest of the world is so demanding!!
To get to the person on the right, it took sheer mental will and discipline. More mental than most people care to fight, but I am proud to say I did this on my own: no surgery. Tons and tons of cardio. I fought that little voice at every stage of the game; the one that said things like, “You can’t run, you can barely walk a mile. You can’t run 4 laps around the track, you’ll never finish that 5k; you can’t ride your bike from town to Tell, TX, and back, you can’t compete and finish that duathlon; you can train for that half marathon but you’ll never actually run 13.1 miles.”
The woman on the right succeeded at every one of those things! I had to fight that mental game the entire way and it was more difficult than the physical conditioning. I had to say no to every food temptation and choose the healthy stuff when I really just wanted the chips and salsa and the ice cream and the bread and tortillas. I had to use water to trick my brain into thinking it was satisfied… when water was the last thing I wanted more of!!
I have friends who’ve supported me on this journey, whether it was joining me for a cardio video, catching a bike ride, or hitting the pavement with me for the 267 miles I logged in 2013. I earned a new title that year-“runner” and I’ve never felt such great accomplishment before or since!
Fast forward to December 2013. I shed 88 lbs and 81 total inches in 12 months. I completed a duathlon in October 2013 and in January 2014, I began training for a half marathon which I finished in April 2014. I walked away with a bronze medal for my age group! In 2016, I completed a 50-mile bike ride, which is my longest ride to date.
It wasn’t until about a week after the half that I discovered Fit Radio. I don’t even remember how I came across it, but I think I had a 30-day free trial but I knew I was going to buy a subscription within the first two uses! I cringed thinking about all the hours I’d trained with “the other station” during the previous year! I’ve been a loyal subscriber ever since.
Nearly six years have flown by and I’ve maintained my weight loss and healthy lifestyle. There’s not a workout activity I do that Fit Radio isn’t with me. I’m active 6 days per week. I continue to run, cycle, CrossFit, Insanity, Yoga, and some days I even slow things down to stroll my grandson all over my little hometown. He enjoys Fit Radio tunes as well! I’m thankful I’m healthy enough to be active with him. I’m going to teach him how to run as soon as he learns to walk!
Recently, I’ve most enjoyed Coach Maria and Coach Bianca helping me grind out my pace goals using the Outdoor Runs feature. When they say “Vamos!” or “I see you working hard…!” their voices and encouragement inspire me to keep pushing. Before Fit Radio Coaches it was just my own voice in my head, so it’s super cool to hear someone else cheering me on instead!
I’ve also recently loved the Yoga and pre and post workout stretching routines within the app. Coach Taryn & Coach Keisy have easy to follow instructional photos that both flow so smoothly with the music. I press play and they help me get ready or recover from Coach Maria and Coach Bianca.
I haven’t listened to a DJ on Fit Radio that I haven’t enjoyed, but some of my favorites are DJ Rolemodel, DJ Miss M, and Fusemania. They are masters at their craft! If they only knew how much I rely on their beats to keep my feet pressing onward and upward. How their jams inspire me to never quit!
My mantra is, “Be consistent and intentional every day.” Nobody else can do it for you. I also try to instill in others that it’s never “too late” to change the course of your health.
I encourage everyone I know in my social and fitness circles (and I have several since I’m into so many activities) to get a Fit Radio subscription. I love to show them the app and share what it can do to help get newbies started down a path I wish I’d known about when I first started my fitness journey. Fit Radio continues to be my best friend for all the miles I log every year!
This content was originally published here.
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smolbeanfeels · 5 years
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updates on the smol bean -- and sharing some new favs!
since my finals ended i haven’t had the motivation or energy to do anything -- i attribute it to my exhaustion from the burnout semester but in truth, i feel that i no longer have passion for anything around me anymore. it’s crazy, the shell i’ve become -- i wake up, read up on the italy trip -- sleep. wake up, read up on internship opportunities -- sleep. wake up, read wuthering heights (A BOOK I’VE READ TEN THOUSAND TIMES) -- sleep. it’s an awful cycle spiralling downwards into neglect.
anw -- i decided i should turn things around! i have so many things to do and so many things to look forward to! for one, i’m reaaaaally looking forward to going to italy. i feel like when it comes to the end of the year, i’m always really excited to just leave this place, to go anywhere. 
it’s not the first time i’m writing about how stifled i feel at home, in this country, and it’s definitely not news that i’m not the happiest about the degrees i’m studying for and working towards. i can find myself being more on board with social sciences especially when my psychology major modules start, but business management leaves me dread. it’s definitely not my first choice, but i have sorted out my feelings and decided that if i’m going to have to do this for another two and a half more years, i might as well make the best of it. find the best part of it and pursue it, and that’s why i’m really excited to major in marketing from my third year onwards. there’s so much creativity and exciting ideas to look forward to in brand management! i’m actually considering dropping one of the classes i bidded for next semester to try out my second marketing class, but at the same time, i also am aware that the important, fundamental modules should always come first. first priorities, second interests. 
i guess the thing that disturbs me the most is the idea that i’m currently pursuing someone else’s dream. i’ve already come to terms that i will have to achieve financial independence before i can start doing what i really want to do, since my parents are really wildly unsupportive of what i want to do (idek where to start with that, honestly), but potentially the worst feeling is sitting around taking up space, space that could be filled by someone who seriously, truly, wants to be here. if i really get deep into it, it’s a sucky feeling. 
recently i realized that i’ve been so caught up with club activities that i can no longer recognise myself. 2-1 has probably been the worst out of the three semesters i’ve had, and i heard from waneu that it’s actually the worst. i do hope it gets better. i think the scariest part of the semester was 1) not doing well during my midterms and 2) feeling horribly out of place during club activities. while i was engaging in these activities, the idea that i was fulfilling someone else’s core objectives and not mine relentlessly haunted me. so on the bright side, i’m grateful for the opportunity to be given a breather and really think, for myself, what it is that i want and what i want to get out of university.
for the next semester, i’m hoping to just focus on acads, work, dance, and most of all, God. i think that will really help in ensuring that i take baby steps in this, because we have proven, time and again, that rachel panics when she is bombarded. 
dance has been really fun -- apart from the backaches and the muscle cramps? but it also made me realize how much more training i need to be back in the game, because of how much time i took off dancing in the semester during finals. I NEED TO GET MY HEELS SOON!!!!! last saturday, i was the only one dancing without my heels, and the spanish instructor’s eyes were constantly on me. and it wasn’t because of my dancing, that’s for sure. 
inyc is the hardest thing to edit in the world!!! i’m slowly losing faith in this novel even though i’m thrilled and excited for my friend; i just don’t really know how good sales are gonna be after the edits, and i just don’t feel like i’m good enough to do all the editing myself. might have to suggest to anj to get a secondary editor because i don’t feel like professional material. 
in other areas of writing, tlp is slowly sucking the life out of me. i feel like because i’ve left it alone for quite a while, i’ve sort of lost my passion and rigour towards fictional literature. it’s rather frustrating, especially because i started out so excited to share this story and finish this piece of writing, and now i’m just backsliding and my editor wouldn’t stop asking for new chapters. poems are the same case. i seem to have so many ideas but find it so difficult to articulate and express them properly. and the thing is, i’ve been “taking a break” off of writing for a couple of months. maybe agalia’s right -- maybe i really only write well in heartbreak. 
anw -- this is me rn, lots to think about and do!!! i wanted to talk about my favs photographed up there. i’ve been discussing with my Dad about getting a dslr for the family but unfortch, the discussion’s not going too well. i do hope we can get at least a digital camera soon though, because it’ll really help to better photograph our travels. 
i’m also really thinking about getting into things that are more related to what i intend to do in grad school, but it’s difficult finding such avenues in school. maybe i might have to look outside of school? 
so -- first fav: the white tumbler from the starbucks christmas collection 2018. i really like it a lot!!! the best thing is that the cap is tight so water/whatever beverage doesn’t seep easily, and there’s no need to unscrew the cap to drink, just twist the cap and there’s an opening to drink from. i’m really glad sis got it for me because i really need a beverage tumbler since i refuse to use my water bottle for anything other than water, especially for coffee because coffee eventually stains. 
second fav: my knitted sweater and michael kors bag -- not really anything new, just my default wearables since the weather’s getting colder and more rain-y recently. 
third fav: the 3ce mood palette!!! i really love 3ce recently because it’s so pigmented and soft - and i’ve been using the elf contour brush to do my eye makeup recently. i’ve been keeping my eye makeup (when i do put it on) very simple recently, especially when i’m rushing, and this palette is such a go-to palette i sound like one of those youtubers but it’s true!!! the elf eyelid primer is also one-of-a-kind and such a dupe for more high-end primers, since i’m perpetually broke... and the small l’oreal brush and little mirror are just things from my mama i wanted to be in the pic! 
last but not least fav: i’ve also started on the subtle art of not giving a fuck by mark manson -- and so far it’s been really good. i won’t comment on the writing since i didn’t expect much, after all this book is written by a motivational blogger and not some Shakespearean poet, but i am really enjoying how honest and forthcoming his ideas and values are. i’m also being reminded more about prioritization and how a lot of the limits and expectations we consider are really self-imposed. excited to continue reading!!! hopefully i can gain more insights on better habits and positivity. 
that’s kind of it -- sorry my updates are always so long, but i do hope you’ve enjoyed reading this! hehe. 
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angelikaganz3-blog · 6 years
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women with hairy pussy porn - What Everybody Ought To Know About Hairy Cunts Free Pics
As I turned the corner on one of the rows I spotted her and several other women, standing in a large basin, hiking up their dresses, knee deep in grapes. I knew she’d been helping prepare for the wine festival, but very hairy pussy this was dedication! It’s funny how the more time you spend with someone the more it hurts to be away, even for what should have felt like a short while. I couldn’t help but chuckle to myself as I approached her and her grape-stomping comrades. I hadn’t seen Myranush for weeks, and I was aching to see her. I was told by the servants at the manor that she was out and about in the vineyard. EDITS: Grammar/syntax Glossary Artzruni - Landed family of winemakers Rao-Galli - Fortified city to the north Qazo [kah-cho] - Literally "brave little one", Myras nickname for Kallisto Xyur [hee-oor] - Respectful address to an older sister Jan [jahn] - Literally "(my) soul" but roughly translates to "dear" Dzo - "Hey" Shirini [shir-ree-nee] - sweet, sugary, voluptious "Pomegranate Girl" - the romantic type Shift - under-dress garment Ath - creator god, sun god, represented by a gold dragon Zanebelli - goddess of natural beauty, alpine meadows, river valleys, and mountains I decided to go directly to the Artzruni estate. Eventually, Myra noticed me watching and her face flushed with embarrassment. Myranush walked towards me, bashfully holding one of her arms. I gave her a coy smile and a subtle wave; she’s so cute when she’s flustered like that. Leaving my horse, I began to walk out towards the farmhouse where I suspected she might atk scary hairy pussy free photos be. Actually, you seem like a natural. There were a few older women, but most of the local girls were spry and young. "Hi Qazo… sorry, you caught me at a bit of an awkward time. The ladies finished up their work and wiped most of the grape-guts off of their and legs and feet. " she gave me a peck on the cheek. I thoroughly enjoyed watching them work. Gosh it’s hot out here. " She was still as red as the juice that stained her usually milky calves. "It’s great to see you again Xyur-Jan. " We took our bowls into the shade of a nearby tree and sipped the delightfully cool beverage. Myra sidled her legs next to mine and sighed. I was amazed by the way they’ve constructed it over all those natural caves; we even went fishing in one of the lakes under the city. " I didnt mention Tara. Leaning on the side of the barn, I waited for the ladies to finish. "Did he give you anything? I must’ve worked up a bit of a sweat mashing those grapes. "There’s some watermelon juice over here. He gave me the most beautiful wool blanket, I’ve got it with me now. She probably didnt want to know. " She was giving me this coy look. I looked off towards the village girls chatting around the basin of macerating grapes. It wasn’t Donato’s present that I was really excited for. I’ve never been to the city before, so he showed me around a bit. Was your trip to Rao-Galli nice? My face flushed and I shifted uncomfortably, staring off into the distance. Myranush must’ve noticed me watching, she put a finger on my chest and whispered into my ear. "Oh Qazo, you know it’s impolite to stare…" Thank Ath we were so far from the group; in the shade here, we were all but a blur in the mid-day. There was one in particular that held my gaze. She wrapped her legs around mine and purred into my ear softly, "you know, any one of those girls would be happy to have someone as cute as you Qazo. I moaned softly free pics hairy pussy as she nibbled on my ear. The late summer air hung heavily around us, the shade of the tree keeping us comfortably cool. I could feel goosebumps on my neck; she was so brazen, touching me like this in front of everybody. You know how great the wool is from there. Nobody bothered us as they left. We rested here for a long while, silently enjoying the soft breeze in the boughs of the tree, the birds chirping in the vineyards. " She ran her hand up the inside of my thigh, squeezing me slightly. Myranush lay her head on my chest and we stayed there as the grape stomping party dispersed. " I can’t say that I didn’t have ulterior motives, but then again I might just be making it harder on myself. After all, she could get me worked up without even trying. She rested her hand on my thigh again and just smirked that knowing, wicked smile that told me I was hers. It was a deep relief to be in her arms again; the whole world just fell away around me until only the feeling of her chest rising and falling into mine remained. "Sure, that would be nice. I rest my head against the trunk of the tree and closed my eyes, sighing softly. " She smiled up at me sweetly. We ambled our way to the stream on their property. She stayed close to the shore and washed the stream over her smooth skin. She tip-toed her way out of the stream and walked over to me. " It was a bit surprising given how hot the day was. Myra lifted her shift and waded into the clear cool water. You know, for your birthday? I knelt by the river’s edge and splashed some of the crisp water onto my face. "Sure you didn’t just want to see me go for a swim? " I winked at her "Ugh, naughty Qazo. In the event you cherished this short article along with you wish to be given more information relating to porn hairy atk i implore you to visit our own webpage. " She flashed a grin with eyes so sultry and sweet. "What can I say, I’ve been on the road for some time, a nice bath would be wonderful, not to mention some homely comforts. I shifted and looked down at Myra, "would you like to take a walk down to the stream to wash off? " She just rolled her eyes at me. I smirked slightly, "too bad it’s so frigid, I would’ve loved to go for a swim. She walked over to me and I stood up. " "Hmm, that’s just one of the perks. You just want to watch your Xyur bathing, is that it? " "Well… They’re in season of course. The Artzruni have a pomegranate grove, don’t they? " I started away from the stream and she bounded ahead of me, her linen shift clinging to her wet thighs. " She cocked her head looking at me sideways, "As far as I know, say. My gaze followed her braid and she turned back towards me. Our eyes met and Myra gave me another challenging smirk. Probably delicious right now. She was right (it was downright icy), but it was so refreshing after my long journey. " I looked her up and down, biting my lip. She had caught me staring again. We had arrived just before their harvest, and the branches hung so heavy with the deliciously full red fruits. The orchard was another beautiful sight. The lush pomegranates were at their peak, blushing, and ripe for the taking. "C’mon, let take a walk. what are you getting at? With the light covering of grass and worked soil beneath, the seating was very comfortable indeed. I laid out the blanket and we plopped ourselves down in the sunshine. " Myranush commented as she traced the tip of her tongue behind her teeth I grinned and dropped the sack of fruit to her feet. I remarked at the softness and thick padded nature of the wool. "Take your pick Xyur-Jan. "Dzo…" I started to protest. Daintily nibbling at her first seed, "What is it Qazo? " She hummed, lightly batting her eyelashes. "Hmm… This is a great spot for a little snack. "I’m feeling a bit peckish myself…" It was true, I hadn’t eaten much today. Garnishing what we could from the orchard, we filled a spare burlap sack. I started at the pomegranate hungrily, tossing the membranes aside into the vineyard. She just returned with the most innocent, shirini expression. I finished my half and simply took in the display. "Now who’s the greedy one? " Myra teased as she continued steadily, only eating one or two seeds at a time. She giggled at my obvious enthrallment. I’d like to enjoy some more, but I think my dirty hands are sullying the flavor. Continuing a bit further we found a nice piece of soft earth between the rows of trellised vines. " She reached down into the bag and produced a smaller pomegranate. As she brought the arils into her mouth, she kissed her fingertips, licking them delicately to get every last drop of the garnet juice. Intrigued, she separated a seed in her fingers and gingerly placed it into my waiting mouth. "Such care and dedication you take in enjoying your treat," I smiled sweetly, coy, "but now you’re only whetting my appetite. "Come now Qazo," I could’ve sworn I saw her blush, "Lie down. I never get that much juice out of pomegranate! Would you be so kind as to offer me some of yours, your grace? I looked up at her face, sun to her back, stray hairs catching the light. " She lightly patted the blanket next to her. She cracked it open with her nails and passed the smaller half to me. She started on another pomegranate and plied me with the fruit. I turned around and lie back, and she moved behind me, taking my head in her lap. "Ay Jan, I spoil you so much…" she ruffled my hair as she started to feed us the remainder of her pomegranate. She tilted her head slightly and smiled down at me. I closed my eyes and breathed deeply, I couldn’t imagine a more blissful moment with her. Something perhaps a bit more… filling. " I asked with a feigned concern, lightly brushing her arm with the back of my hand. She exhaled, her breath ragged, and put a hand on my chest. " I sighed again, "you take care of me so well… but are you sure you have had enough to eat? "Mmmm…" savoring the flavor, "My hands cannot compare to the delicate nature of yours, Xyur-Jan. Staring at them hiking up their skirts… and showing all that skin? She sighed, shaking her head, "You’re probably just worked up watching all those village girls stomping grapes, aren’t you? Her eyes flashed with delight. " She dashed an eyebrow at me as she suckled on another seed. " I bit my lip, looking up at her. I tried to catch my breath, my heart was racing in my chest. As we finished the our second, I gazed up at her again with devious intent. "I might have another snack for you if haven’t. "Some caught my eye more than the others. I shivered and arched my back. Ignoring my comment, "Another snack you say? You must’ve been just exhausted from all that heat," she snickered. You know how hungry your poor Xyur can get sometimes too…" Punctuating her remark with a pout, she moved her hand down to my belly and traced the tips of her fingers under my waistband. " I licked the pomegranate juice off of my lips. " She giggled at my predicament. I just groaned audibly and bit my lip. Myra ran her fingers along my length lightly, "Mmm, I had no idea that you were that worked up. She slid her hand smoothly into my trousers and softly groped at my now throbbing erection. I reached up and caressed her breast through that thin linen shift. "Don’t worry Qazo, your Xyur will take good care of you. I pawed at the hem of her shift pushing it upwards. " She put her chest out and snaked her torso, leaning above me, purring with pleasure. "Hmm, the sun feels nice here. That sounds incredibly tempting. Nothing but this slight material between me and that perfect body of hers. Her sex glistening in the sun only heightened my arousal. " she commented idly, reveling nude in the late afternoon light. She took the hint and lifted it up and over her head. "By Ath, have I done nothing but exacerbate your condition? She turned back towards me with one of her puppy-dog looks. She slithered her way over me, poising her face just above my tented trousers. So much for wanting a pomegranate girl. She pulled my pants and breeches down sharply and oohed for a moment as I sprung free. " Myra enthusiastically began to work me with both hands, leaving no stone unturned. Her hips swayed back and forth hypnotically as my stomach tensed and released over and over. I started panting rhythmically, my hot breath and kisses covering the insides of her thighs. We were in broad daylight in the middle of the vineyard during harvest season. "It’s ok Qazo, just relax and let me take care of you. I silently prayed that the Artzruni’s fieldworkers liked to pick grapes in the early morning, but there was no way I was going to stop now. The thrill of being found only intensified the lust and I started to rock my hips with the tempo of her strokes. Oh by Zanebeli, I had to grit my teeth to not lose it right then and there. The more excited I became, the more nectar trickled from her honeypot, until she was positively soaked. The possibility of getting caught had crossed my mind again. She took my head out of her lap and gently laid me back on the blanket. It had the (perhaps not so) unintentional effect of putting her cunt mere inches from my face. " She placed her hand on my pelvis with space between her thumb and forefinger holding me in place. Her legs straddled loosely near my head so that my beard wouldn’t scratch her thighs. My head was spinning with desire and in my daze I lifted my head and tasted her. I tried to relax and listen to the fields around me. "Stop it Qazo," she giggled as she pressed her knees into my cheeks, pinning my head to the blanket and raising her butt into the air. Her mouth dropped it’s occupation with an audible pop. I could smell her musk, mine, and partially fermented grape juice all mingling into a pungent bouquet. Suddenly I could feel her warm wet lips as they wrapped around the head of my cock, her tongue swirling and lashing at my engorged flesh. She dismounted my face, and deftly repositioned herself between my legs. I gasped and moaned as she slicked the shaft with her spit taking me deeper and deeper into her mouth. She moaned around me when it hit the back of her mouth. I watched her from half-lidded eyes as her tongue flicked and expertly worked it’s way between the folds of my foreskin. She paused with her soft lips pursed at the tip, smirking from behind my member. Then she enveloped me slowly, sliding her hot mouth down until I bottomed out against her throat. I took my time lapping the precious fluids from her curves and mound. As I lie back, all I could think was she was way too good at this. " she put a hand on my belly pushing me back, and just gave me a look that said ‘quit talking’. I had been fantasizing about this moment for weeks, and it was even better than I imagined. Her motions were deliberate and exaggerated, and she always punctuated her movements with that pert, waggling ass. I did as she ordered and went back to my usual panting and moans. She looked up at me, her gaze unwavering as she started to work me over; her eyes were burning with lust. She grinned, "Feeling a bit hot out here Qazo? She took her time, feeling my pulse in every corner of her mouth. My face flushed, my vision blurred, and my mouth hung open with ardor. I bit my lip with anticipation as she kept me on the edge. It was salty, sour, and just like her scent: dirty and delightful at the same time. I reclined, clasping my hands behind my head. How she loved to torment me. I could feel it welling inside me, the strokes of her mouth going deeper, gripping tighter. She clicked her tongue and resumed with a feverish intent. She wrapped her lips securely around the shaft sucking greedily, coaxing every last drop out of the tip with her tongue. I knew she wanted my cum and she was going to get it one way or another. I couldn’t hold back anymore and I told her I was close. She whimpered slightly and sped up, lightly massaging my balls in encouragement. that feels incredible… ah! " It was more than I could handle. She crawled up beside me and planted a light peck on my cheek. I tensed again, and Myra got just what she was looking for. There wasn’t any wasted. I let out a primal grunt as they tightened and I ejaculated into her mouth. She dipped her tongue into my urethra and ran her fingers from base to head hoping she could get just another morsel. /u/Xyur-Jan_is_so_lewd "Mmm… I love the way you taste… Thanks for the snack. I pulled my pants back up and she put her shift back on and we just lay there in the summer evening afterglow. " I pulled her in close and returned the kiss. She breathed in my ear "It’s so nice to have you back Qazo. I just sighed and my head collapsed against the blanket.
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bernicefitcpt-blog · 7 years
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My first Sprint Triathlon Experience
I could probably count on one hand how many times I trained for each sport event leading to the weeks that I put on that tight one piece. Not that I didn't take the training seriously, but that's what my time allowed for me to do. Just so freakin' happy that I did finished my first triathlon event.... AND LOVED EVERY MINUTE OF IT! ... And gotta love those automatic PR's: 1:31:33
Morning of : 
SETTING UP:Found a spot in the 2nd row of the racks next to a Brazilian lady #55 who looked like she knew what she was doing, and another nice lady named Brenda who helped me a ton! First, she did mention to keep a narrower space for myself in case someone wanted to come next to me. So i did. Then another lady came super close to my front tire with her stuff. She looked a little more nervous. And even Leanne, the lady who checked me in came by and said hi to me! She said she's been doing tri's since her late 20s and she’s now 60! You go mama! She looked like early 40s. Dang, I wanna me like that! So i'm feeling super NEWBIE status and I'm here looking like a lost child haha. I asked Brenda if theres a certain way she sets up her transition area and yup! Makes sense. Place it in the order you'll be using it. 
Heres a pic of it:
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Here are some things I wish I knew: Bring something I could step into to rinse my feet. Maybe a stool would help? Have my phone ready to go on my bike. Stretch your hamstrings and hip flexors with the ball and foam roller more.     And a huge thing: having a running belt! Since i knew i had to run with my number on me, I took my lululemon fanny pack strap and attached my number to it. Brenda was the one who told me I didn't need to put my number on yet as I was practicing putting my pins on haha. So thank God i had that. Or else I would be fidgeting with it. 
SWIM:
Training: Thinking back to my first time ever competitive swimming event at the Honolulu Triathlon (Sprint - 750m), it made me want to practice this more than anything else. I really thought this might be the hardest part for me during the actual race day. The last time I had am actually in person swimming lesson was when I was like 5? Lol so, I read my books (usually the most confusing bc I need to visualize everything), watched some YouTube videos, and observed swimmers as I went to Palolo Valley Swimming pool. After discovering this pool that was only 5 min from my gym, I went a total of 3 times to practice on my swim! Each time I would do at least 600m, just to practice harder than my actual race length. One time I got 700m in the 40 min I decide to swim. You don't realize how much of a workout swimming actually is! One of the biggest lessons I learned is to STAY CALM. In the midst of putting my body in a mild hypoxic state where you're not breathing as you normally would. "THE BREATH IS SO IMPORTANT" - seriously cereal! As a Yoga teacher and personal trainer that starts with talking about the breath and diaphragmatic breathing, I realized that without this, we are nothing! Well, not nothing, but we are more likely to get anxious and if so consistent, could lead to depression! No good! 
Anyway, back to the swim training!  I also swam in open water like twice only, but next time think I should do more because the ocean water vs pool water is like night and day difference. From the breathing technique to just the extra resistance you get from the thickness of the water, current, and waves, I'll definitely be swimming more in open water. Elenor, the nice older lady who's retired from doing like idk 20 or 40 ( i just know a lot lol) of triathlons, she said the same thing, especially 2 days before the race which was the last time I swam to train. 
Day of:
Favorite part!! (Surprisingly!) I was probably most excited for this because I saw how working on my technique since the HNL TRI has worked for me!! As I jumped into the water to swim to the buoys to start, i started feeling a little like "sea sick." Never felt that before going into a swim. We had 3 min to swim to the buoys bc i was on the 2nd heat! (Go orange swim caps! Pink would have matched me but i wouldve had to be doing the relay. Lol i would mention this bc my color theme was black, grey, and bright pink haha)   Ran into fewer ppl this time at the start. Thank God! Being kicked in the face and swam on my legs isn't a joy. Mma in the water anyone? Haha During the swim, I was just focusing on breathing technique and continuing to swim without stopping. OH! and making sure i was swimming in a straight line to my destination. I was actually done in what felt to me was a quick 12 min and 44 seconds. I still had energy to run barefoot to the transition area! Yeeee! Haha
TRANSITION: should have not messed with my phone and trying to put it in my ziplock bag to put in my back pocket haha. Oh well. Lesson learned! I will need to get one of those bike phone things. Also my bluetooth didn't connect to my phone and fitbit. But i put my phone and fitbit on for my bike and run.
BIKE 
Training: I purchased my bike only like at the end of July from a guy that didn't need it anymore for super cheap in comparison what they normally go for. Thanks facebook marketplace! Lol! So i was told to get clips for the pedals and to get specific tri shoes. Went to the Bicycle Shop first to let them check my bike out. Turns out that my tires were extremely flat! I get one of these . I rode it for 3 miles before that around Kapiolani park to just get used to it. Also used for maybe only 2 miles at Lanikai. Felt normal to me, but hey... what do i know! I felt so accomplished just doing that! Went to Boca Hawaii  to get those. I had no idea that i actually had to put the clips on the bottom of the shoes. Learned a lot from the chick who didn't even bike but helped me to pick out the shoes and clips. It was then i realized this is not going to be a cheap sport. $120 tri shoes, $55 clips. Then i checked out the biking gear. Got myself my tri one piece. The girl (forgot her name)told me ppl like it bc it gives less room for drag or something like that. I got the small so it was skin tight. Plus i thought maybe i would lose weight if i trained more. $150. Thankfully i got the friends of Boca discount.     
Brought myself to Ko Olina to practice with my clips. I was told by a friend and also the girl working at Boca. "Yah. You're going to fall." And me in my head: “Nah. I know how to ride a bike.” Best believe, put on clip in for the first time. Then BOOM. Fell over on the side i put my one clip in! Even the Ko Olina security asked me if I was ok. Haha. Felt super comfy with it. Riding fast is fun! Just my butt hurts after a while sitting. Did 3 miles that day too. The next time i biked, ran, and swam at Ala Moana it wasn’t that far.  My last time practicing riding was half the course of the actual. Went to Kahala area to diamond head and around Monsarrat. Learned I shouldn't stop when charging a hill. Had to test out my gears and go on a hill. One of the scariest parts for me is trusting all the cars around me to not run me over. Single lanes for a car and bike freak me out. I now know how a biker feels with cars speeding up next to him or her. Im like 1. Don’t fall 2. Don’t fall. 3. Don’t get hit. Thank God for helmets! Thankfully i didn't fall or get hit this time. Lol! 
Day of: I learned so much!! Felt fast from my swim and ready to bike like a wild woman lol. Took long deciding whether to put my phone in my back pocket in a zip lock or int pouch. Big no no bc it cost me some time!  Kind of slow getting my clips in the bike after reviewing some of the footage Rich uploaded of me. But once i was off, I was off! They had huge blue signs with black arrows which showed me where to go. One of the most challenging parts was avoiding the potholes on the road in the quick turns in the neighborhood. Here's the bike path:  
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My favorite part of biking was riding down the hill on kilauea ave. I figured out to change my gears on the hills which wasn't so bad dafter all. It actually felt faster than 46 min. The hardest part was going up Monsarrat. I'm so glad that we had the whole road to ourselves so we don't need to worry about getting run over. Cops blocked traffic every time they would see a bike coming. I was so glad to come to the finish line and see Rich there recording me and cheering. I slowly got off my bike because the inside of my thighs and upper hamstrings were done. It felt like i was coming off a long ride off a horse.
RUN:
Training: i would practice a slow jog after practicing on the stationary bike to "condition" my legs. This was not nearly enough to simulate how it would actually feel on race day but what did I know! I never biked more than 6 miles outside. Only about 14 miles inside on a stationary bike then to a .7 to 1 mile jog walk. Nope! Not like it! 
At the transition: I put my Lululemon socks on, already had my number on from the bike transition, and put on my favorite Hoka running shoes. Put on my Lululemon Visor and BAM! I was off! 
Day of: i haven't hurt that much starting a jog/run. To motivate me, the little girl who was 11 old passed me up with her mom! At first, i passed her but maybe into the first mile i felt soooo uncomfortable. I felt restricted  so i unzipped the front of my one piece tri suit. Ahhhh... homer simpson status?! Lol Just wanted to get to the finish line but enjoying my last few moments of my first tri! When I ran, i felt like I could think more clearly. Talked to myself a lot to motivate myself. What was going on in my head?! Thought about how grateful I was to God for giving me these abilities to do a triathlon"Are you pushing yourself the most you could!?" I sped up. All the way to the finish line. Pretty much a sprint with my legs hurting already. Saw Rich yelling, and BOOM! Didn't slow down til I was past the finish line! At the end, i went to the booth to get my shirt - which was my medal. About 10 minutes later I saw my friend Milli and then about 20 minutes later I saw my brother, mom, sis in law, baby nephew, and their dog. It was so great to have them all there! 
After: In about 30 min to 45 min I checked the scores. It said I placed 3rd. So during the awards, they called my age group (25-29 yo) and the 3rd place winner. It wasn’t me! So I thought, it’s okay. I didn’t place. Then they said on the mic, “In 2nd place, Bernice Aurellano!” I was pretty shocked. Came home with a cool successory too! Earrings! Check it out: 
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Definitely doing it again. Actually, just signed up for my next triathlon sprint this coming Sunday! Excited to see what my body, mind, and spirit are capable of doing this time around. To the Ko Olina Race we go! 
Picture of my fam afterwards: 
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The traditional FINISH LINE photo! LOVE LOVE LOVE the feeling of getting through to the finish line! 
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Check out this awesome Video - posted on instagram @BerniceFitCPT and Youtube - created by my love, Rich! 
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Until next time.... I’ll tell you about my 2nd experience! 
Aloha,
Bernice
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