How to successfully stop a tall bitch from being a bitch
a/n: as a tall bitch can say this is all 100% true. Remus is so fun to write cuz now I can say all the stuff I usually keep to myself. Anyway, I hope you enjoy and thank you @friesforfreedom for the request :)
Waring: Sexual jokes (its Remus what do you expect), mentions of early death, cursing, kinda self deprecating thoughts, and Remus being Remus
Word count: 677
Remus glared up at the shelf. It sat tauntingly two feet above his head, barely out of reach. He glanced around the room plotting ways to get up there and grab the mason jar.
He glanced over at a chair. If he was alone he might have climbed up on it, but if he fell and got brains everywhere it wouldn’t be on him to clean it up. It would be on his boyfriend.
He liked Logan a little too much for that.
Shockingly, hottie-mc hot face hadn’t left him yet. Something Remus considered a personal accomplishment... and absolutely baffling.
Remus was a bit eccentric, or at least that’s what Logan said. It was his eccentricity that tended to drive potential partners away, but not Logan. Logan was adamant that Remus was a good person and a good boyfriend. Then again he also called Remus a gnome, you couldn't always trust the man.
He wasn’t really short. At least, not by normal people’s standards. He was an imposing 5’5” and carried himself in a way that most certainly gave him a few extra inches. Or kept people a few extra inches away from him, same difference.
So of course he was dating the modern-day Robert Wallow. Well not really. Logan wasn’t 9 feet tall. Which was a good thing, the world’s tallest people all died in their 20’s. Remus would be fucking sad if Logan died. No, his boyfriend was 6’7”. More than a foot taller than Remus.
The difference was fun sometimes ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). But not when Remus was staying over at Logan’s. The entire goddamn house was built for people three times his size.
Logan walked into the kitchen smirking at his tiny boyfriend. Of fucking course, Remus just couldn’t win today.
“Need some help cephy?” Logan teased leaning against the counter and grinning at his tiny partner.
Remus flipped him off and continued to size up the counter. Logan could get it for him, but that would be embarrassing. His pride would be damaged, Logan would never let him live it down. They would be decomposing in the earth and Logan would still be teasing him. Yeah, no fucking way he was giving this up.
Logan leaned towards him, now invested in the teasing. (a/n: can confirm as a tall person the teasing is necessary). “You sure darling” Remus turned towards Logan, sticking out his tongue, “yep,” he said, popping the p and sitting down on the counter next to his boyfriend.
“Oh, ok” Logan hummed, “you didn’t need this?” he produced the mason jar Remus had needed for his painting. Shit, the bitch was good.
“Nope,” Remus said, snatching the object out of Logan’s hand and putting it on the counter for later. “I was looking for this” he pulled Logan down by his tie and pressed a searing kiss to his boyfriend’s lips. ‘Haha, take that’ he thought, and then Logan picked him up, and his thoughts were consumed by gay screaming.
The two plopped down on the couch. Logan wrapped his tiny boyfriend up in a hug. He buried his face in Remus’ hair and breathed deeply. Latex, vinegar, a tiny bit of smoke, and… trash? “Remus, did you go through the dumpsters again?” Logan asked sadly. “Mm-hm” Remus hummed happily.
Logan squeezed his eyes shut, “Did you take a shower?”. Remus laughed mischievously “Noooooo- wanna take one now”
His boyfriend gave a long-suffering sigh, “Not particularly.” Logan looked down at Remus, his expression softening, “Maybe when I wake up” Remus shrugged happily “sounds good to me, nerdy wolverine”. Remus burrowed further into Logan’s chest. He felt his boyfriend smile against his head. Holy shit he loved that man.
Cuddling was very nice. Logan was strong and warm, Remus felt like nothing could ever hurt him if he was here. He was safe.
(a/n: god damn, I’m so touch starved)
Logan fell asleep after like, two minutes, stupid trusting boyfriends warming your heart. Remus really was happy with Logan. He was an asshole, but he was Remus’ asshole.
25 notes · View notes