#tsganswers

[that-sex-girl]

23/she. Whenever I'm on my period or rather the day before I get really touch starved and to be honest really horny. I know that when I orgasm during that time it's a lot more intense and I usually feel my orgasm way more up into my belly (if that makes sense). A bit like a period cramp but totally relaxing. So in general in the first days my stomach and lower back are usually really stiff and cramping and everything, sometimes even my thighs hurt a bit. I'd just like to be massaged or whatever. Honestly I'd like to experiment with period sex with him or at least him taking care of me a bit. I'm not experienced with that and I had the impression my ex found it gross or something... Dunno. Like... How do I start this, I think it would just be so relaxing? Isn't that kinda egoistic? I don't want to ask for too much because I also get a bit emotional during that time and probably just would want it real slow or sth... Thanks for your advice tsg!

Just be completely open and honest. You want to have period sex. Tbh, I've always thought guys being grossed out by this is super weird and rooted in misogynistic ideas that periods are "dirty". They aren't, and substance wise they aren't very different from any other vaginal liquids except they contain blood and tissue.

There is something called being GGG, it stands for Good, Giving, and Game. It's something you should look for in a partner, and expect (and you should strive to be this as well). It essentially means your partner should be good bed, giving and prioritizing of your pleasure, and game to try new things that may not immediately interest them (within reason). I think period sex is part of being GGG. I do not consider it a tall request, at all.

If your guy is really uncomfortable with it you could always try to have shower sex during your period, that way clean up is easier. Or suggest having lights off sex so he can't necessarily see the blood. You can also stick to just intercourse and skip any fingering or oral, if the thought of getting it on his hands or mouth makes him uncomfortable. But at the end of the day, you have to decide if this is something you need, if your boyfriend isn't willing to do it. Are you willing to abstain from period for the length of your relationship with him? If not, then you may want to think about that.

Good luck!

~TSG

#sex advice #sex education #period sex #menstration #ask me things #ask me anything #asks #ask away #ask #ask answered #answered asks #answered ask #answered #dan savage #tsganswers

[that-sex-girl]

So this idk if this is the right place to ask but I was wondering when u think a good time to talk to kids about periods, puberty, sex, masturbation etc is? Everything I know about these topics is from personal experience, school, friends and tv shows - I was never told by my mom or given ‘the talk’ and I’m about to turn 19. When I got my period at the age of 10 I had no clue what it was because my mom never explained it to me which still kind of bothers me to this day. My sisters approaching this age and I wanna make sure the same doesn’t happen to her but I’m worried maybe she’s too young or I’ll freak her out so what age do u think we should start talking to lil kids abt these topics?

You can ask anything on this blog- thank you for this question ❤️

The right age to explain things to them is when they start to ask. I would make sure she knows you are a trusted person she can always come to and that no topic is off limits, and everything is confidential. That gives her the opportunity to ask what she wants to know and ensures you aren't going to give her information she isn't ready for yet. You can also only answer what they ask, and don't give more information than is necessary for understanding. You don't say how old your sister is, so here is my plan for my own child, so you can get an idea of an open and sex positive sex education plan.

I will begin having conversations about consent with my child as soon as he is old enough to understand and engage in language, around 3 or 4 years of age. The consent conversation will focus on always needing consent from others to touch them and that others should always require consent from them to do the same, and that he is always in control of who touches him and how.

I then plan on talking about what periods are and what they're for, what happens, and how to treat them (with normalcy and compassion, not disgust) around the age his peers may be experiencing these things (10-12), during that conversation we will inevitably need to talk about what the uterus is designed to do, and how pregnancy can happen, ie "the talk". We'll also talk about his own body at this point and explain any changes he may start to experience as he undergoes puberty.

As he comes into his teenage years (12-14) I'll expand on the talk by ensuring an understanding of contraception and how it is his responsibility and his alone to ensure pregnancy is prevented. I'll also be sure to explain what his body is going through physically, safe ways for him to masturbate, how to ask for privacy, and how to explore his sexuality without shame. I'll also explain to him the differences between pornography and real life, and how to manage his expectations.

I can then circle back to consent as he starts to reach his sexual maturity in his mid to late teens (15-18), and talk about how to engage in sex with a sense of respect for himself and others while at the same time understanding that having more or less sex than his peers in no way effects his or anyone else's worth or capabilities as a person. My hope is that my child will be open with me about when he starts to engage in sexual activities and relationships with his peers, and that then we can have an open discussion about relationship models and dynamics (monogamy, polyamory, etc) and how there is no one "right" way to have a relationship as long as everyone is treating each other with kindness and respect, and that he should explore different things to find what makes him the happiest.

Of course within all of these talks comes talks about sexism, slut shaming, sexuality and gender, how bodies work, how relationships and break ups can hurt, what to look for in a partner and how to spot red flags. All important parts of sex education.

It's a lot of conversations and work! Just make sure your sister knows she can always come to you and ask you anything.

Good luck.

~TSG

#sex education #sex advice #anon asks #ask me things #ask me anything #asks #ask away #ask answered #answered asks #answered ask #tsganswers

[that-sex-girl]

Hi! So recently I guy I've been talking to for months want to have sex but I'm a virgin(and 18). We've already made out and did some petting but I'm really nervous for the really thing.. plus he is very experienced:( is there anything I should be aware of?

So, I don't know what your level of sex education has been up to this point so I'm going to assume it's almost nothing to be safe.

I'm going to break this down into things you Need to Know, things it's Good to Know, and things you might Want to Know about your "first" time.

Need to Know

Condoms are a MUST. Even if you are on birth control (which you should be, if you aren't). Condoms of course prevent pregnancy, but also some STI's. And make sure the condom is discarded and a new one is put on if he cums.

You can say stop anytime. There is no point during sex where you've gone "too far to stop". You have the right to say no to anything, at anytime. If he isn't responsive and understanding about that, leave him immediately. He is not a good partner.

Pee immediately after. This will help prevent a Urinary Tract Infection (UTI).

Schedule an appointment for a Pap Smear and an STI check in the week after. Having sex introduces a lot of new things to your uterus, vagina, and cervix. Go make sure things are healthy before an after. This is also a good time to talk to your ObGyn about birth control options.

Require him to get checked beforehand as well.

The old adage of "sex hurts the first time" is bullshit. It doesn't have to. It can, if your partner is inconsiderate or clumsy. But if you have an experienced partner who is taking your comfort and pleasure into consideration then it should not hurt. If he is reluctant to take things slow or doesn't check in on you- leave.

You are not obligated to have sex with him. Ever.

You absolutely 100% can get pregnant if you have sex without a condom, even if he pulls out.

Good to Know

Foreplay is a must. By foreplay I mean, doing everything besides penis in vagina (PiV) sex. If you can cum before you engage in PiV that's even better.

Take your time. You are allowed to take it slow.

Be vocal. Be honest about what you like or don't like. Be honest about what feels good and what doesn't. Be honest about what you know how to do and what you don't.

You can ask questions, you can talk, you can have a conversation about sex during sex

USE. LUBE.

If you have sex without a condom, sperm will stay alive inside you for 3 days and can get you pregnant if you aren't on birth control.

You can say no and revoke your consent at anytime for any reason.

Want to Know

You will probably have to show him how to make you cum. Every woman, and person, is different.

He will very likely cum very quickly once you engage in PiV sex.

You may bleed after or during. It will be like a period, lasting for a day or so. It's normal.

Afterwards he may get very sleepy. You may too. The rush of hormones that happen after an orgasm effect everyone different.

You might want to make your expectations of what comes after for your relationship clear. If you want exclusivity with your sexual partner, make sure you have that conversation beforehand. If you want to stay over his place, or have him stay over yours after, make that clear. Make sure you both have a good understanding of what this relationship is before you take this next step.

Your worth as a person is not related to your sexual activity whatsoever.

This is all I can think of but if any readers have anything to add- please reblog with your advice.

Good luck!

~TSG

#sex advice #sex education #virginity #first time #ask me things #ask away #ask #ask me questions #ask me anything #asks open #ask blog #tsganswers

[that-sex-girl]

So I know alot of ppl on here ask about sex. But can we go back to basics? Do you have any advice for a good make out session. And should I (female) do anything differently if I'm making out with a girl versus a boy. to be clear my end goal is not sex. I just want to be good at making out lmao

Omg I love this question, first of all. Thank you.

So, like everything having to do with sex or physical contact, making out is subjective. But I think some cardinal rules are this:

1) Use a little less tongue than you think you need

2) Take more breaks than you think you need.

3) Don't keep it just to the mouth.

I feel like 1 is pretty self explanatory. You can make out perfectly fine without ever putting your tongue in the other person's mouth. It shouldn't feel like a thumb war but with tongues. That being said, tongue can be great if used sparingly, gently, and teasingly. Leave them wanting a little more.

2, I really mean a make out session doesn't have to mean you are ONLY making out. Lightly touch each other's shoulders, arms, hands, legs, and arrongenous zones. Run fingers through hair. Touch their face. Hug each other, sway together, take moments to just take a breath and look at one another. Pay compliments, make each other feel good. Garner that intimacy and connection.

By 3 I mean let your mouth EXPLORE them. Go to the jaw, the neck, the ears. If you wanna be real cute you can suck on fingers, or kiss down their torso or shoulders. These things are great way to have a break from the mouth-to-mouth making out while still keeping the energy fun and passionate and not really engaging in traditional "sex".

Although, how you can do all this and then NOT want to have sex would be beyond me!

Thanks so much for your question!

~TSG

#sex advice #sex education #sex tips #making out #kissing #send asks #send me asks #asks open #answered asks #anonymous asks #tsganswers

[that-sex-girl]

Hey, it's me again. The "heteroromantic" anon from some time ago, who wasn't sure if she maybe likes women a tiny bit too. The one you consulted your best friend for and I'm going to be honest here. I know it's stupid and maybe I'm not even not hetero, but when I read that part about "I want to grab her by the shoulders...", I legit cried out of relief a bit. I know that's weird but... It gave me support with my thoughts and my overthinking. It was a happy crying!?

Dou you have any idea or tips on how to find an experience with another girl? I'm pretty sure I wanna try something one day but I'd definitely wouldn't want to do it with one of my friends and I live in a pretty heterosexual surrounding, by which I mean I mainly know heterosexuals (open-minded and allies and everything, but still heterosexuals everywhere)

In my last ask you said it reminded you of your own story. When did you decide to be vocal about it and... Did you act upon it?

I'm so glad you felt some relief! That was my hope for you.

Honestly, just start dating like you would normally. Join some apps and be open about what you're looking for, something casual with a woman. I think it would be best to be open about your lack of experience with women in the past and the fact that you're still exploring your sexuality, that way everyone can take things at an appropriate pace. Apps like Bumble might be a great place to start talking to people.

Personally, I came out to my husband before anyone else. It took me a couple years to get there. After that I never really had a "coming out" to everyone else, I just wasn't quiet about sexuality. My husband and I are currently in a monogamous marriage so I haven't had any relationships with women after coming out, but it's definitely something we've discussed the possibility for in the future (having a very special female guest star join us in the bedroom someday). But there is so much going on right now that makes that impossible for the time being (including a pandemic!).

Loved hearing from you. It sounds like you're in a much better place mentally and I'm so happy for it!

~TSG

#sex advice #sex education #sexuality #lgbtpeople #lgbtqplus #lgbtqiia+ #lgbtq #ask me anything #asks #ask away #ask #ask me things #asks open #ask answered #answered asks #answered ask #answered #tsganswers

[that-sex-girl]

Here is the thing. I know you have written things about stick to clit play but like. I don't feel like its enough? If that makes sense. But I don't feel 100% comfortable with putting more then one or two fingers in which sounds a little shitty. But I'm also a virgin and wanna stretch out a bit before sex.

Couple things I want to address: First is: you do not need to stretch, or "prepare", your vagina before sex- at all whatsoever. Your vagina isn't going to get "stretched" by sex, masturbation, or even by birth. The muscles and tissue surrounding your vagina are incredibly flexible and are made to accommodate quite a lot- and unless you end up with a partner of substantial size, you do not need to prepare. At all. The idea that the first time you have sex is going to hurt is a complete myth. If you are with a partner who is caring your first time will be pleasurable and enjoyable and should not be painful at all.

Secondly, I only suggest sticking to clit play to readers who are struggling to achieve orgasm through penetrative means.

Ok, now that's out of the way- add some penetration to your masturbatory play! Try some toys. Rabbit toys allow for penetrative and clit stimulation simultaneously, or use a vibrator to up the intensity of the stimulation on your clit. Try different things! You don't have to just masturbate in one way. Get creative! But stay safe ;)

~TSG

#sex education #sex advice #ask me things #ask me anything #asks #ask away #ask #ask answered #answered asks #answered ask #answered #tsganswers

[that-sex-girl]

Hi there, I've been caring for my pregnant friend and she has recently said that she would like to have sex with me, and I'm down for that. I'm just wondering what the safest positions for her are?? She's in her second trimester, nearing her third. I just want to make sure she's safe.

The only thing you want to be aware of during sex while pregnant is no prolonged pressure to the stomach (like laying on it, or someone else laying on it) and not laying on your back for a prolonged period of time once you're as far along as she is because the weight of the baby & placenta can put pressure on a major blood vessel that runs down the back and limit blood supply to the baby.

Otherwise, any position is safe! Just do what feels comfortable to her. From my personal experience positions that allowed me to be on my side or my knees were the most comfortable! I would also come equipped with lube and a vibrator if she doesn't have one, the hormones associated with pregnancy can sometimes cause vaginal dryness and make orgasm hard to achieve so having tools ready to go to help with that are great!

Good luck!

~TSG

#sex education #sex advice #pregnancy #pregnancy advice #anon asks #send me asks #anonymous asks #answered asks #ask answered #tsganswers

[that-sex-girl]

when you were pregnant, did you feel something very early on in the pregnancy? What was it like to discover you start showing? I‘m just wondering do you feel physically different in the first few weeks and when did you feel a connection? I mean... I‘m just thinking, but is it like an instinct that something/someone is there, even if it‘s about the size of ...a gummibear? curious :)

So even though my husband and I were actively trying, I had NO idea I was pregnant until my period was about 11 days late. And even then I wasn't sure because I had just taken a test 5 days prior and it was negative, but my husband begged me to take another and boom! It was positive! I got my positive test at almost exactly 8 weeks pregnant. I'd say I felt a connection when we saw our first ultrasound at 9 weeks and heard the heartbeat. I started having horrible nausea and vomiting at 10 weeks and that was my only every day sign I was still pregnant (besides no period) until about 17 weeks when I felt my first little kicks. That early they just feel like gas moving about so it's hard to discern them from that, and I would only feel him if I drank something really sweet. Once we found out the sex I had even clearer ultrasound pictures and some 3D ones as well, and we gave him his name which really made everything feel real. Once he got a lot bigger nearing my third tri, he was constantly moving around all the time and would react differently to different foods (like spicy stuff really got him moving).

For me, once I knew I was pregnant I thought about it and him every single day. I would talk to him a lot and play loud music in the car to feel him kick when he was bigger. It just always felt like I had a little passenger :) Even though I had horrible nausea and had to go on daily blood thinner injections during my pregnancy because of a genetic blood disorder I have, I loved being pregnant. There were definitely days where it was miserable, but overall I loved knowing there was a little guy growing inside me :)

In fact, if I didn't have such a hard time with labor and postpartum depression and recovery I would have happily carried and birthed another baby. I truly enjoyed pregnancy. But I think instead we'll adopt ;)

~TSG

BONUS: Here's a picture of me the day I went into the hospital to induce labor 😮

#sex advice #sex education #pregnancy #pregnancy advice #ask me anything #asks #ask away #ask #ask me things #ask blog #ask answered #answered asks #answered ask #tsganswers

[that-sex-girl]

Hey, I don't know if you remember but I'm the female anon who sent you an ask a few days ago about being actually straight but finding women really aesthetic and powerful and you said it reminded you of your own path in that direction. Like you said maybe heteroflexible would be a good term for my thoughts maybe.

I've thought about it the past few days again and I suddenly remembered a lot of moments in my life in which I somewhere saw a woman and my heart started racing or something.

I've just experienced another moment like this and I really felt as if I had caught myself!?!? Like I've been following an amateur artist on social media for some time now cos she does great stuff, and I just opened social media and randomly saw a video of her at a gig years ago. And I caught myself watching the video, staring with my mouth open and that was not because of the song but because of the way that woman moved and looked and... She kinda in that song had parts where she was slightly 'growling' and I realised I felt that weird tingling feeling in my stomach...

I was thinking about "testing" myself by maybe listening to female x female erotic audio or something but I just don't dare to. You said in your last answer I wouldn't know from experiencing something with one woman, but how do I find out?

As I said, I'm totally tolerant towards people's sexual identities, but as soon as it's about myself it kind of scares the shit out of me that I might be into women aswell. Like what if I find out that that actually is it for me and my whole world turns upside down?

I know there is something. It's kinda too late to deny it. You said you also kept it to yourself for a long time, could you maybe tell me about how you decided to be open about it? And did you have first experiences with women then?

I don't know why I come here and write this, but I hope it's okay. I feel good and stable, but I feel like I wanna talk about it and I hope it's okay to send this ask again. I wouldn't wanna talk about it with someone in rl atm...

Thanks you so much! Your answer again really made me think. :) if it's too long to answer just ignore it! Also no idea if it is smart to drop this on the internet, I just hope it's safe with you.

Of course I remember you! This is a safe place to share, and I'm glad it feels that way for you. I hope it feels that way to anyone who may be looking for guidance or comradery. ❤️

Getting to your question, I want to reiterate again there really is no "test" necessarily that you can do to know for sure what your sexuality is. Your sexuality can evolve over time, and being gay isn't only about the sexual nature of your relationships. That being said if having a sexual experience with a woman is something that interests you then I would encourage you to pursue that interest as long as you're being respectful.

I actually reached out to my longtime best friend (over 15 years 😮) who identifies as non-binary, queer/lesbian to help me answer your question. I wanted their input because they've been out since we were teenagers and have been on an amazing ongoing journey of self discovery of their sexuality and gender that I really admire. They agreed with me on labels not being necessary, and being all changing. Also like themselves, lots of queer folx have multiple labels or labels with much more nuance than the classic definition. So don't get too caught up on what to call yourself.

I also wanted to share with you what they said verbatim, in regards to your fear of admitting some queerness to yourself:

I also would love to hold her shoulders and look her in the eye and tell her "it's not gonna turn ur world upside down, ur still gonna be the same you, you just might be a you who enjoys kissing girls sometimes." I think being gay for so long has just got me like "just do it, it's great I promise ur gonna love it, what's the big deal," but it's still a very big deal sometimes. I forget that, or, it's hard to fathom denying my sexuality.

That fear that you feel about this part of you- you don't have to fear it. Much more joy awaits you if you look at that part of you and understand that it is what makes you you, and it's beautiful just like every other part. Take your time, sit with your feelings, and just do what feels true to you.

Good luck.

~TSG

#sex advice #sex education #queer friendly therapy #queer #lgbt #lgbtq #bisexual #ask me things #ask me anything #asks #ask away #ask #ask answered #answered asks #answered ask #tsganswers

[that-sex-girl]

So I've got a tiny problem I haven't solved yet and which I find hard to understand or explain..

I get wet while masturbating, really. And also when I've been with guys, the kissing and making out part arouses me like crazy and I get wet. Then I think we'll, I'm probably ready for sex, but as soon as the penetration is about to be added to the game, my wetness vanishes. Really sudden. That's so weird and I don't understand it, but it makes having great sex really hard.

Take a little more time before penetration. Take stock of yourself- are you ready? Is penetration what you want right now? If it's not, be vocal about that. Engage in "foreplay" activities for a bit longer. If penetration is what you want, then use some lube. Arousal has a LOT to do with anticipation and once that anticipation is over it can stifle our arousal a bit sometimes. Make sure your partner isn't rushing anything, and have them find other ways to get you wet before penetration- like going down on you!

Also, our arousal and ability to create lubrication isn't always connected. Don't think too much into it and make sure your partner isn't either. Whether or not we get when aroused has so much more to do with our hormones, diet, and just individual health than whether or not we are ready for sex.

~TSG

#sex advice #sex education #ask me things #ask me anything #asks #ask away #ask #ask me stuff #ask answered #answered asks #answered ask #answered #tsganswers

[that-sex-girl]

I'm like so confused with my Sexuality rn. Like I've always thought I was straight. Like this sounds shitty but I was always know as the "straight friend" but now I'm not so sure anymore. And I'm like 80% sure my mom is homophopic. So now I'm crying at a pond 🥰🤚

Talk to your mom. Maybe she is homophobic, but lots of people feel differently about something once it hits them close to home. Homophobia, like any discrimination, is rooted in misunderstanding, ignorance, and fear.

However, you might want to think about sitting with your sexuality in yourself for a little longer. Examine your thoughts and feelings and live out to yourself and close trusted friends before coming out to family. If you think it might not be safe for you to come out to your family- like it may put you in danger or physical violence or a loss of home or critical health care then it might be a better option to stay in the closet until you can create independence and safety.

Either way, your mother may need time to process once you come out to her in the same way you needed time to process. Give her space if she needs it and if you feel capable answer her questions (even the ones that feel invasive).

I hope you know that no matter what there is a community for you. A community that will welcome you as you are, and love you, with open arms and encourage you to be whatever you want to be. Your world and your life will not end- it might just look a little different than what you expected. But everytime you make a decision that is true to you and embrace every part of yourself with love, the world and your life will be better than you ever imagined.

And I'm here, and my community of readers and anons are here for you 💕

You're going to get through this.

~TSG

#sex advice #sex education #lgbtpeople #lgbtqiia+ #lgbtq #lgbtqplus #ask me things #ask me anything #asks #ask away #ask #send me asks #send asks #ask answered #answered asks #answered ask #tsganswers

[that-sex-girl]

So me and my gf haven't had sex yet, new relationship and shes a very sheltered virgin. She thought the bottom was just supposed to lay there and not help get the top to come.. and i just feel unwanted and like she doesn't want to touch me.. but can u give me some advice on how to?? Work this out??

Just be honest with her. Tell her how you want enthusiastic participation from her, and ask her if that's something she can work on. Point her to sex positivity resources, as chances are she may have a very negative and shameful view of sex if she was brought up in a sheltered or religious household.

Be patient with her, be open, honest, and vulnerable. Make sure to continue to prioritize her comfort, but also be real with her about how her lack of enthusiasm can make you feel undesirable.

Understand though, shame about sex runs DEEP and this may be something very hard for her to overcome. It may take a long time. But as long as you're seeing effort and small progression then it will get there eventually!

Good luck!

~TSG

#sex advice #sex education #enthusiastic consent #consent #sex tips #sex and relationships #sex positive #send me asks #send asks #asks open #answered asks #tsganswers

[that-sex-girl]

I've come across your page and I'm very interested in hearing your opinion on a situation that is currently happening to me right now. I met this guy on Bumble about a month or so ago, his bio said he didn't know what he was looking for, which was completely fine with me because I didn't know what I was looking for either (now I do). We hit it off immediately, and actually met up and hooked up (it was my first sexual experience) now he's being very dry, but he wants to hang out again. What do?!

Part 2 I feel insecure about my lateness to explore, I didn’t tell my ex that I hadn’t done anything sexual before him Well I’m ready now I want to have sex but scared of looking inexperienced, him thinking I will catch feelings COs he’s my first or ppl discussing it in this new friendship group. Tbh this guy seems cool and it probs is all in my head cos I’m anxious about being seen as “virginal”. what advice do you have for sex first time, is it cool if I keep me being a virgin to myself? Xx

So, first things first, you should be honest with this partner about your experience. This way he can be understanding and have proper expectations. Virginity, is a social construct. Nothing about your body changes physically or chemically, once you have partnered, penetrative sex for the first time. Dan Savage often says, don't think of yourself as having a "Virginity Card" but more a "Virginity Deck". There are many sexual things you will do throughout your lifetime, for the first time. Some cards you might keep forever in your "Virginity Deck" and that's okay, too. There is no such thing as too many or too few cards.

Now that I've played that metaphor out enough, I want you to really ask yourself if this is someone you want to see again. Is this someone giving you the proper amount of attention, respect, communication, and affection? You said you know now what you're looking for- is this guy it? If so, then see him again and be honest about yourself, your experience, and your expectations. If he can't handle that or doesn't share your feelings then move on to finding someone who does.

Before you have sex with him, you both deserve to have an open and honest discussion with one another. And what's so bad about catching feelings? Shouldn't we, at base level, care for the people we share our beds and bodies with? It doesn't have to be a romantic kind of situation, in a traditional sense, but there should be a sort of compassion and caring between interpersonal relationships, especially ones invoking sex. Always be weary of those who seek to have sex with you but then want agency to treat you poorly after. You can have expectations and standards of care for anyone you sleep with, regardless of the relationship label or intensity.

Good luck.

~TSG

#sex education #sex advice #dan savage #sex tips #virginity #first time #sex and relationships #relationship #relationship advice #tsganswers #ask me things #asks #ask away #ask #ask me anything #anon ask #thanks for the ask! #send asks #ask answered #answered asks #answered ask #answered

[that-sex-girl]

Hey, it's pregnancy-anon again. (just gonna call myself that so you know what I am referring to) your answer was really really helpful. I feel way too young to have a baby cause I'm under 25, but in the past few weeks or months the topic has just made me incredibly curious. Don't know why, I just am curious but not looking to prepare myself or sth. I know it's v individual. So yeah, I've actually got a few more questions. :)

I feel like so many women struggle with nausea and I'm thinking like... How bad can that be? Cause personally I hate no illness more than anything related to throwing up and I'd be scared of that. Also, when did you first feel the baby? I remember seeing a film in which the woman said she was sure she had felt something, just an unknown presence, a few weeks along, but that physically it doesn't make a change really.

Also I was wondering what else changes during pregnancy or what changed for you? I mean except for the typical no alcohol no coffee stuff. I've been going the possibility of becoming pregnant one day through and through in my head, and I realised that I'm really scared of my life and body (stretch marks etc.) changing and that this defo is a sign i am far away from ready.

And last. Pregnancy sex. This is probably stupid but should the guy still come inside you or is that somehow bad? How deep should he go anyways?

I hope this isn't all too weird to ask, it's just. A lot of questions on my mind and in rl I don't have a woman present I could talk to about it. 😊 Let me know if this is too much or I'll probably come up with more asks

Hi! Please feel free to ask anything!

So my nausea was probably slightly above average bad. Just for perspective: I lost 30lbs in a single month, couldn't eat anything other than bananas and crackers, and would also vomit from smells, empty stomach, too full stomach, or just because sometimes! Mine lasted until about week 22. I was able to take prescribed nausea meds that definitely helped me keep food down and introduce new foods. As much as it sucked, by about the third week of puking 5+ times a day, I got so used to it I would puke in a bag in my car right before walking into a client's house, swig some mouthwash, and go do my job. It just became another thing! Some people experience nausea so bad it lands them in the hospital for a large portion of or the entire pregnancy. Some people don't experience it at all, some experience nausea but never actually vomit. It really can vary from nothing to as bad as you can imagine.

I personally started feeling the baby around week 15/16. I wouldn't feel him everyday, just every now and then when I would drink something sugary or eat something spicy. But by week 18 I was feeling every day, all the time. He would be still for 10-15 minutes at a time but he was very very active. I had what's called an anterior placenta, which means my placenta was in the front of my uterus instead of the top, so my husband very rarely got to feel the kicks because of the extra layer of "padding" but for me I felt them even more in my ribs and stomach, which when he was practically fully cooked could hurt like a motherfucker 😅 Most people start to feel their first kicks at 4 months and other people can feel them by 6 months. They say you feel them earlier with your second because then you know what to expect.

As far as changes, the biggest one for me was daily subdermal injections in my stomach of blood thinners. I have a genetic blood disorder called Factor V Liden, which essentially means my blood is thicker and likelier to clot. Being pregnant raises your risk of clots and therefore risk of miscarriage, so my doctor put me on injections as soon as I knew I was pregnant (8 weeks). My husband did them for me because I could never work up the courage. I was constantly sore and bruised even though my husband did his best to do it with care. At 32 weeks I had to start getting them twice a day and kept that up up until 2 weeks post partum. It REALLY sucked. As far as my body changing, I already had stretch marks but I definitely have more. I don't mind them though, I've done a lot of work on my body image with the help of therapy and body positive activities ❤️ I was 28 when I gave birth to my son. Its definitely not something I would rush into, and part of me even wishes I would have waited a little longer. Pregnancy is the easiest thing in the world compared to caring for a baby... and then a toddler.... and then a kid! 🙃

For pregnancy sex, nothing really is different! When you get pregnant your cervix becomes covered by something called "the mucus plug" that prevents anything from leaving or entering your uterus. So your partner can cum inside you with no worries. This mucus plug falls out right before you go into labor. And your partner can still go as deep as they did before, as long as it's comfortable for you it's fine for the pregnancy. Although you may have an active little baby kicking you in the ribs for a little while after because of the disturbance and rise in your heart rate!

Thanks for the ask!

~TSG

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