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bitterpoison · 2 months

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I deserve to be heard.

🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

Based off of that one Crowley scene from Supernatural, ya'll know the one 😭

@thatsthat24

#digital art #fanart #edit #thomas sanders #sanders sides #sanders sides fanart #sanders sides edit #logan sanders #tss logan #orange side #logan sanders angst #tss logan angst #logan sanders fanart #logan sanders edit #sasi logan

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let-roman-bite-someone · 1 month

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thinking about how Virgil probably understands how Logan is feeling right now. how Logan feels like no one wants him around anymore, no one values his opinions, the other sides occassionally villanize him or act like he's the problem; and Virgil gets it. he knows exactly how it feels.

and that's why he doesn't make a big deal out of Logan jumping to conclusions about his present. it probably hurt Virgil to see Logan immediately assume that he didn't care enough to prepare a good present but in the end, all Virgil says is “and you thought I would just get you a newspaper”.

because he's been in this exact position before and in that moment, it was Logan who gave him some believable assurance that he is not unwanted, that his presence means something to the rest of them.

so when Logan jumps to a conclusion and assumes that Virgil doesn't like him all that much, Virgil doesn't take it personally. he's just returning the favor.

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imhere-imqueer-ilikedeer · 10 days

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Logan doesn't repress because he was taught to.

He represses because he feel like he needs to.

Hw feels emotion, but it's kind of muted to very dull, small emotions. He's sure he's sure he has deeper emotions, but he's repressed so thoroughly that even he can't feel them.

He's felt big emotions before. A few times, if it got too much. All that emotion, when you aren't used to it, gets overwhelming. It's easier to just not feel it, than to bring it out an deal with it.

Because if he acknowledge it, it gets bigger. And the bigger it gets, the more it shows. The more it shows, the more he hates it.

He can't stand people's comfort. Just let him be sad, and ignore him while he does it. Let him sit there, let him lick his wounds in private. But that is not human nature. Human nature is to comfort.

He despise comforting people. They tell him something is wrong, they tell him it is ok, they tell him to feel the emotion. Then the emotion gets bigger, and he feels it more. He shows it more.

When he show it, he gets a kind of emotion hangover. Two hours later, two days later, he remembers the emotion he showed. And that is an embarrassment he never wants to feel again.

he'd rather stay on top of the emotion. Press it down. Nip it in the bud. Just avoid that spiral all together.

Because sharing his emotion doesn't make it better. It only leads to more emotion. It only gets worse.

He doesn't repress emotion because he was taught to.

He represses emotion because he needs to.

#logan sanders #fic #kinda #one shot #angst #tss logan #thomas sanders #sanders sides #repression #tw repression #tw emotion #angst logan sanders #herequeerdeerrobin

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rats-the-bat · 4 months

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Virgil's Gift: An Analysis on It's Symbolism and Possible Foreshadowing

Obvious spoilers for Thomas' newest Sander Asides video: What Makes the Perfect Gift? Go watch it if you haven't.

So the yearly Sander Sides Christmas special dropped hours ago. (Yippee!) And there's a surprisingly large amount to be said for it to be a 13 minute long Christmas special. In fact, I'd say it's the most story focused episode since Can Plushies Improve Our Health?, and that was an ad for the Sander Sides plushies. There's just so much to talk about this episode. There's the implications of Janus and Remus being invited to play Secret Santa; the mystery to what Thomas' message was with his gift to Nico; the underlying tension between all the sides that reminds us of the angst we've already seen and how things still aren't completely alright and that the worst is yet to come; and, most notable of all, the question as to WHY THE HELL REMUS WOULD WANT TO F*CK ANDREW JACKSON??

But the most interesting thing to me is Virgil's gift to Logan, his reaction, and how it reflects Logan's current situation.

Virgil gives Logan a newspaper, claiming that it seems like something he would like. Logan however, does not read newspapers and is very disappointed by the gift. Remus and Janus make some comments on how unthoughtful Virgil's gift appears. But at the end of the episode, Logan finds out that the newspaper actually has a secret message and is the first puzzle of an entire scavenger hunt, which excites him a lot.

This is by far my favorite part of the episode. Not only is it heartwarming, it also symbolizes how Logan has been treated as a whole, and may even foreshadow future events in the series.

When Virgil gives Logan the newspaper, Logan is very confused, and asks him why he would give him a newspaper. Virgil replies, "Cuz' you're the Mr. Smarty Pants of the group. You like reading and all that." Logan is still confused though. Yes, he likes to read, but that doesn't mean he will read anything. Roman chimes in with Virgil, reinforcing that they think Logan will like it. Logan says, "Is that all I am to you? The reading guy?..." And Virgil replies, "I don't know man, give it a read! I'm sure it has something you like."

This entire interaction represents how Logan has been ignored and misunderstood throughout the entire series. Virgil gives Logan a newspaper, something he doesn't actually want, because he assumes he will like it since he likes to read in general. He made an assumption on Logan's personality based off things he already knew, something Thomas and all of the other sides have been doing since the beginning. Throughout the entire series, Logan is considered the smart one of the group who always provides information and exposition, and little else is expected of him. In ACCEPTING ANXIETY part one, Thomas assumes that Logan knew what his problem was because he provides, "the explanatory exposition in [the Sander Sides] videos because all the other characters are too zany or relatable." And in Selfishness v. Selflessness, Logan is benched after providing information that supports both Patton and Janus' sides because they assume he has nothing else to offer. Time and time again Logan is reduced to his function and the traits that go along with it, such as liking to read. And why these things about him are true, he is far more complex that who they see him as. But, as Virgil didn't seem to care to get him something he would actually like, they don't seem to care to learn more about Logan...

They do care though. And that's shown through the twist at the end. When Logan discovers that it's a puzzle, Virgil jokes, "And you thought I would just get you a newspaper. Tsk. What do you take me for?" Though it appeared Virgil didn't put much consideration into the gift, and though Logan believed Virgil didn't, he did, because he truly cares about Logan. And throughout the entire series, though they don't always listen to him, Thomas and the sides show that they care about Logan. Patton is always nice to him, Roman, while the most harsh to him, does secretly respect him, and Thomas, as shown in the song, "Incomplete," is not only aware that Logan has feelings and is more than just logic, he wants Logan to accept it as well. He also seems empathetic when Logan is disappointed with his gift. This represents how Logan's insecurities get in the way of him being fully accepted. Logan is convinced that Thomas and the sides will only ever see him as his function, and that they do not care about his other traits. This is one of the reasons he represses his emotions, and is shown by how quickly Logan believes Virgil got him a newspaper simply because he likes to read. Though Logan may not realize it, Thomas and the sides love and accept him fully, and Logan needs to see that.

However, it seems that someone doesn't want him to see that...

And that's where the foreshadowing comes into play.

After the conversation Virgil gives Logan his gift, Janus chimes in, saying, "Wow Logan, looks like Virgil put a lot of thought into that one!" He emphasizes how little consideration Virgil's gift seemed to have. In doing this, he reinforces the idea to Logan that Virgil didn't care enough to give him a gift he would like, even though that's not actually true. And if he his doing this intentionally, he may also be reinforcing the idea that they don't care about him.

And Remus soon after joins in, proposing, "Kinda makes you wanna scream, huh?" This is obviously a callback to Logan's outburst in Working THROUGH Intrusive Thoughts. In that episode, Remus showed great excitement towards his outburst, implying that Remus wanted him to get upset. And now again, he suggests that Logan should get angry about it. It is very clear that Remus is trying to make Logan lash out on purpose.

Based off this, I believe that in future episodes, we will see the dark sides, or Remus at least, try to manipulate Logan into believing that Thomas and the sides don't care about him. In doing this, they'll persuade him into joining their side. Perhaps they'll make him a puppet for the Orange Side, or if Logan is the Orange Side, they will make him embrace it. Of course their plan won't work out though. Because even if the do get Logan to join them for a little, the other sides will show that they care. And perhaps if they do, Logan will finally be able to see that, and he will finally be able to accept himself.

#sanders sides #thomas sanders #tss #logan sanders #ts logan #logan sanders angst #virgil sanders #remus sanders #janus sanders #ts sides #tss theory

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modestlystrange · 1 year

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"My logic is the absolute."

I adore Logan, and I love his whole orange anger issues. Coupling that with Chonny Jash's The Mind Electric cover and the way it sounded so condescending made me have motivation to finally draw my favorite side.

Here's the version with the words:

#logan sanders #logan angst #sanders sides #sanders sides logan #logan sanders sides #chonny jash #tss logan #ts logan #ss fanart #sanders sides fanart

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prodigal-explorer · 4 months

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sanders aside spoilers

the fact that janus was being so mean to roman and patton/logan didn’t even blink an eye or give a shit. not one word to defend roman.

the way that roman just crumpled apart the second janus spoke. and nobody noticed or cared. the way he looked immediately defeated.

and not a single person stood up for him.

but y’all ain’t ready to have that conversation.

#sanders sides #thomas sanders #tss #roman sanders #sanders sides fandom #virgil sanders #remus sanders #logan sanders #patton sanders #janus sanders #roman sanders angst #roman sanders deserves better

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too-much-yike · 6 months

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i heard an audio on tiktok and my hand did this thing???? is this normal?????

#analogical #virgil sanders #logan sanders #sanders sides #tss virgil #tss logan #logan x virgil #virgil x logan #ts virgil #ts logan #thomas sanders #rare analogical angst from sage

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bumb1e-vee · 1 month

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Virgil couldn't stand it. Though it wasn't their fault (never their fault those two were perfect). They were the perfect mix of logic and passion and Virgil just whishes he was able to be included in that love that the two of them share. It hurt, his arms ached and burned when he saw them cuddle, tears pricked at his eyes when he watched them share sweet nothings during movie nights, his heart felt like it was being squeezed in an iron fist when the two of them held hands. It hurt the worst when they sat right beside him.

He couldn't help it, after he saw the two of them together, he ran up into his room, locked the door and started sobbing on the floor, not even making it to his bed. He had gone downstairs for a snack, and when he was in the living room he saw Logan and Roman making out on the couch. It made his heart shatter (the pieces of his heart always chipped away the more he saw the two of them together like that), and his eyes prick with tears that he managed to keep at bay until he was alone in his room, skin stinging with phantom touches, not knowing the feeling of loving touch (He wishes he could be between the two of them on the couch, smothered in those sugary sweet kisses he watches them indulge in).

But Virgil knows better than that, he knows better than to wish for such things. He knows better than to know that he's worth their love (he wants to be, so desperately, he wants nothing more than to be worthy of them). Logan and Roman were the perfect match, logic and creativity, brains and passion, and who was Virgil to think he deserved a spot in love with them, he had a perpetual storm cloud hanging over his head. He'd only put a damper on the perfect happiness the two of them had.

He picked himself up off the ground and got into the shower, that way his sobs could be masked by the running water and the playlist he chose to put on. A bunch of breakup and unrequited love songs used to put salt into his wounds.

(How could he listen to anything else, his heart was screaming in pain?). Virgil sat in the shower until the water ran cold and the playlist had played out at least three times. His eyes were red rimmed and his skin was wrinkled as he pulled on a tee shirt and a pair of shorts. It was only about 5:30 at night, well before dinner, but Virgil didn't see himself going to dinner with the others. (He didn't want to face the other two and sit across from them to see them so in love). It didn't matter that much he decided. He pulled out his phone and opened tiktok, the endless doom scrolling was about to begin, and he could at the very least distract himself from the growing hole in his heart.

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a-rat-called-remus · 1 month

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POV: During SVS: REDUX, while Janus is disguised as Logan,

Remus and Logan realize how alike they really are.

#remus sanders #ts remus #sander sides #tss #thomas sanders #intrusive thoughts #the duke #ts logic #ts logan #logan sanders #logan sanders cosplay #remus sanders cosplay #remus sanders angst #logan sanders angst #angst #intrulogical

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janis-takes-requests · 1 year

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Janis' Angst Corner

🎄 Christmas Edition 🎄

+ Janus and Remus get left out of Christmas every year. They both claim that they don't care and in fact hate the holiday. But truthfully, they both are extremely hurt by it. So they opt to spend the day together and get each other presents.

+ Patton wants to include Janus and Remus, at the very least in their secret Santa that they do every year. But Virgil and Roman hate the other two so much that he would feel too guilty, like he ruined their Christmas.

+ Logan gets sick of the constant Christmas music and hates how expensive and stressful the season is. He would rather just skip the holiday all together. Oftentimes he'll sneak off after presents to spend time with Janus and Remus since they don't really celebrate the holiday.

#demus #dukeceit #sanders sides angst #janus sanders angst #janus angst #remus angst #remus sanders angst #patton sanders #patton angst #logan sanders #logan sanders angst #angst #angst ideas #tss angst #christmas angst #sad boi hours

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let-roman-bite-someone · 2 months

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so you know how when the dark sides (mainly Janus) rise up/reveal themselves, the lighting gets significantly dimmer?

well, look at Logan's initial appearances

compared to his more recent appearances.

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logan-the-artist · 6 months

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G10 & “Pokémon” reminded me of Logan and Orange - thoughts?

there’s nobody but me here… the killer in the mirror.

#LOVE the angst #ty for the request!!#my art #drawing #art #sketch #sanders sides #sanders sides fanart #tss logan #logan sanders sides #logan sanders #ts logan #ts logic #logic sanders #orange side #ts orange side #tw blood #log’s art

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typically-untypical · 4 months

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On the Outside

AU: Merpeople

CW: Blood and Injury, Janus Angst

WC: 3,753

Date: 12/10/2023

The ceremony was beautiful. It was everything Janus had come to expect from Roman, grand, extravagant, and beautiful. Logan, despite his attempts to remain stoic, was ever the blushing sacrifice, his life made into a promise to love and to cherish their king. Janus turned from the sight, and swam away unable to watch for another moment. First it had been Virgil, always Janus' antagonist, always so afraid of failure. Janus had fallen in love with the way he protected others, with the sarcastic wit he used to hide his insecurities. Janus had fallen in love with Virgil, and Virgil had fallen in love with the king.

Apparently, Roman was the adventurous type, always attempting to escape his duties as monarch of their fair city, always running from the coral spires that they called a palace. He and Virgil had met on one of those outings and had bonded. At first, Janus didn't think anything would come of it, the two were constantly arguing, constantly fighting, then the day came when he saw them. They were making out behind the jeweler's shop and when they separated for more than an inch, Virgil's eyes were filled with so much love.

Janus had swallowed his feelings and moved on, refusing to pull himself into a situation where he would get hurt. Janus was smart enough to know he didn't have a chance against a king, and if he had made a move beforehand, it would have only made things strained between them. So he let go. He let go of his best childhood friend. He let go of the first mer he loved. He moved on.

Virgil became the king's first sacrifice, a title denoting the life Virgil would have to sacrifice to be by Roman's side, the people he would sacrifice. It also denoted Roman's sacrifice of safety. When a king announced he loved someone so publicly, it gave his enemies a target, a manipulative tool. There were many mer that would use any opportunity they could to take advantage of the king, and having a beloved, having a sacrifice, meant opening up one more avenue for manipulation and treason. The title of sacrifice was a reminder, and a promise.

Despite that, Virgil didn't leave them behind. He still visited whenever he got the chance. He made excuse after excuse to come see Janus and Logan, often times Roman would come along and Janus would play the part of a gracious host. He couldn't deny the king was good looking, but he was not a fan of the way he strutted about as if he owned the place. He did own the place, in a manner of speaking, but it still pissed Janus off. Though, that wasn't the full truth either, was it. Janus had been jealous, jealous of the way Roman would flirt with Logan, jealous of the way Logan looked at Roman and Virgil. It had been naïve to hope, but Janus had thought, with Virgil gone, he might finally make a move on Logan. It was the two of them, and they had been able to take solace in each other.

That hadn't lasted long. Janus had watched quietly as Roman flustered Logan, spun him around in circles until he could only look forward. Janus had watched as Virgil pulled Logan out of his shell. He even answered Logan's questions when he asked about emotions. Janus had watched it all fall apart, sitting by and not saying a thing as Roman took one more person away from him. The ceremony had been the final straw. Janus hadn't been able to watch as Virgil and Roman kissed and spoiled Logan, not when he wanted to be in Logan's place, not when he wanted to be by Logan's side.

They didn't visit as often anymore, especially when Janus started making excuses, reasons why he couldn't see them, lies to hide his pain. Eventually, they stopped coming altogether, and it was easier that way. He moved from the coral spire he had shared with Logan and Virgil to something much smaller, something further from the palace. He left his job on the tribunal, no longer wanting to present cases in front of the three people he couldn't have. He focused on hunting, relying on old skills he had used as a guppy, as a survivor. He could still do it. He could still take care of himself. He hadn't grown soft in the light of Logan and Virgil's smiles.

They would hate to see him doing this again. This job was so dangerous. The hunter could easily become the hunted if one wasn't careful, and even if one was, a single misstep could throw everything off. Janus had barely made it back from the hunt with no prey to show for his efforts. His tail was missing patches to scales, scraped, broken and bleeding. It hurt to swim but what other choice did he have? He wasn't going to just lay down in the sand and die. That wasn't his style. If he was going to die it would at least be where it was comfortable.

Somehow he made it home, leaving a trail of thick black blood in his wake. He hoped nothing else out there wanted to hunt him, because it would be far too easy to follow his trail, at least until the tide changed.

"Just swell," He muttered to himself and the empty house around him. He had been lonely without the others. He had thought the smaller house would help. It hadn't. The loneliness persisted despite the confined space. "What a warm home I've created." He rolled his eyes, swimming over to his bed of kelp and lowering himself slowly into it. He should probably tend to his wounds, but he also was too tired to move. He would take care of it later. He would take care of it when he woke up.

[Section Break]

Virgil couldn't help but swim laps across his room, trying to figure out exactly where things had gone wrong. He knew Logan was watching him but he didn't really care at this point. In fact, Logan could probably provide some perspective. "He hates us." Virgil said, knowing it wasn't true but also knowing Logan would help him out of his spiral.

"I highly doubt Janus hates us, though I also find him pushing us away a bit strange."

That wasn't what Virgil was expecting. He didn't think Logan would actually agree that something was wrong. He figured he was just being overly anxious but he needed someone to talk him through it. Logan looked back at him and sighed, slowly swimming over to him, setting down his book. "Come here, angelfish," He whispered before pulling Virgil into a hug. "We've given him a bit of space, but how about we go check on him? Just the two of us? That might help considering his walls seem to come up when Roman is around."

"Yeah, cool, I could get behind that... but do you think it's safe? We haven't been out of the castle without guards since before we were with Ro."

"Safe or not, I feel like visiting Janus will help calm your nerves. Also, we won't be long, and we won't be far. Janus lives near the palace so we should still be in a protected area."

It only took him a few seconds to agree. Virgil needed to see Janus again, to make sure he was okay. Something felt off and he was desperate to fix whatever it was. "Maybe we should take one guard, just to be safe?"

Logan nodded, "I think that's a wise decision. Let's go ask someone, assuming you're ready to go."

"Yeah, yeah I'm ready." He had been ready days ago but he couldn't tell Logan that. Now was good.

It was a beautiful day for a swim around town, the temperature was nice and Virgil began to relax almost immediately after they were out of the palace. Maybe he had just been cooped up too long, being a King's sacrifice, especially Roman's they were always so well protected. It was sweet, but it was also increasingly stressful. Virgil liked to have more control of his surroundings and often he felt he didn't have that in the palace. It had been easier back when they went on regular visits, back when Logan and Janus still lived together. It had been so awkward trying to introduce Roman to Janus, he had seemed different, at arms length almost and after the ceremony with Logan it had gotten even worse. Virgil didn't know how to fix it. He didn't know how to just come out and let Janus know that he was in love, and he desperately wanted to let Janus know because things didn't feel complete without him.

"This is odd," Logan whispered looking at the name plates posted in front of the coral.

"What's odd?"

"I don't see our names, or Janus' for that matter."

Virgil felt himself grow faint as the anxiety once again took hold of him, ice water running through his mid sea veins. "That can't be right. Why would Janus move out of the place we had together?" Virgil began to drag Logan toward the property managers office she would know what was going on.

"Luna, bitch, where's Janus? His name isn't listed anymore."

The lion fish looked over at Virgil before giving him a wide smile, her spines flaring out. "Virgil! Big shot finally comes to visit me and only asks about his ex. How rude!"

"He's not my ex," Virgil blushed a bit, reaching out for Logan's hand, holding it tightly.

"Could have fooled me with the way you three were always flirting. It was a bit sad when he was left here alone. Anyway, told me the place was too big for just him so he moved out, probably about three months ago now."

Three months, had it really been three months since they had last visited him? They both knew he wanted space but that was too much space. "Did the fucker tell you where he was moving to?" Virgil tried to smile, tried to keep his anxiety from showing, it was a trick he had learned from Janus, but he wasn't nearly as good at it as Janus had been.

"Yeah, chill, I'll get you an address. And if you're gonna win him over might I suggest some nice sea glass? Showing up empty handed is a major no-no." She pulled out an oil pencil and wrote Janus' new address on Virgil's free hand. "He's near the outskirts of town so you have time to think of something nice before you get there.

"We appreciate the help, Luna," Logan said, far calmer than Virgil had been able to pretend he was.

"The outskirts, there's nothing out there but danger. Fuck, do you think he went back to hunting? I swear if that idiot got himself hurt again I'm going to put him in the dungeon just to keep him safe."

"I'm sure he's fine," Logan whispered, pulling Virgil in closer. "Janus is intelligent. He isn't the kind to take unnecessary risks." They should have known something was up when Janus left his position on the tribunal. He had loved that job and wasn't that one of the first signs that something was wrong, abandoning the things you loved and cared about?

"Lo, I need to you talk me down, okay? I'm spiraling pretty bad. What if he's dead? What if he got eaten? What if we never see him again?"

Logan squeezed his hand and they continued to move forward, neither of them wanting to risk the possibility that Janus needed them and they weren't there. "As I said, Janus is very intelligent. I doubt he would get himself into a situation where he needed our help so dramatically that he couldn't ask for it."

"Right, right," Virgil whispered, still clinging to Logan.

"Also, between the three of us we have a very wide set of skills. In the past we have been able to handle many different challenges because of this. I don't believe there are many things in this ocean that we can't handle together. Also, we have the king's resources at our disposal now." He kept his voice gentle and Virgil was thankful. Logan had always been able to help him calm down, but still, right now, everything felt off.

As they got closer to the small hut Janus was supposedly staying in, the sea around them looked darker and Virgil shivered a bit. "Of course Janus would live somewhere creepy. He was all about that aesthetic and vibe." Virgil was sure he wasn't hiding how worried he was, but he was still trying. He was trying to give himself some kind of sense of normalcy.

"It does seem like his style," Logan responded, but he also squeezed Virgil's hand tightly. The darkness grew as they got closer and they both realized what was happening at the same time. Logan turned to the guard who had been following them. "Go back to the palace, get a physician here immediately, and inform king Roman of where we are and what we are doing." He then let go of Virgil's hand and swam toward the darkened water, entering the house without bothering for permission. He pushed the kelp away until he saw Janus' body, curled tightly around a slowly seeping wound. He took in a quick breath before immediately starting on first aid. Virgil wasn't sure what to do or how to handle this. It was like watching his worst nightmares come into reality.

"Virgil," Logan called, "Open up his nearest heat vent and get us some broth cooking. He's going to need something to eat or he will never regain his strength."

"Right?" He could do with instructions. All he needed to do was focus on the instructions he was being given. He could do this.

Time passed by too slowly and too quickly at the same time. Virgil managed to get the broth together and Logan was able to get Janus conscious enough to drink a bit but he faded again shortly after that. It was all a blur and when Roman showed up with the physician, Virgil almost broke down. This wasn't supposed to happen. This wasn't supposed to be how it worked out.

[Section Break]

Janus woke up far more comfortably than he thought he would. The temperature was a little cool but less than he thought it would be considering where he lived. Even the kelp felt more comfortable than normal. He shifted and cracked his eyes open taking in his surroundings. It took him all of a second to realize he wasn't at home. Slowly twisting his head to get a better view, his eyes landed on a familiar red tail. The king was asleep, and Janus was most likely in a hospital. Shit, he hadn't expected to be found much less by the king. At least he was hoping he had been found by the king. Janus knew how bad it would be if it had been Logan or Virgil who had found him in that state and he was doing everything he could to deny that possibility.

"Ah, you're awake," Roman said, shifting to be a bit closer. Apparently he wasn't sleeping as much as Janus thought he was. "You have worried my beloveds." Roman watched Janus before sighing and sitting back a bit. They were both silent, neither sure what to say to the other. Janus was just about to ask when he could leave, when Roman spoke, his deep voice reverberating in the waves.

"I don't understand you," He said quietly. "You've quit a job you liked, moved to a place where you were alone, I am all for the drama and the adventure but this seems like a bit much. Were you intending on hurting the two of them? Was your grand plan to die alone only for them to hear news of your passing years later."

Janus wanted to answer no, but in a way, he was. He had wanted to push them away, because it hurt to be around them. It was better if they were allowed to focus on themselves and on their new happy life. "I was doing what needed to be done." Janus shrugged, wincing when he moved. Okay, maybe he was more injured than he originally thought he was and he didn't want to die. He just... wanted things he couldn't have.

"And what needed to be done?" Roman asked, "Getting yourself killed?"

"Getting away from you," Janus retorted before his brain could stop his mouth. He hated losing his cool but sometimes it was so hard to resist. "I didn't have any plans to stick around and watch you play house with the two men I'm in love with. That isn't my idea of a good time."

"Whoa whoa whoa, slow down. That is a lot to wrap my head around. First off, you love them, and I knew it. No one get that upset so suddenly unless there are some major feelings involved. It's so romantic, the three of you living under the same ocean only to miss each other, but what I'm not understanding is why you had such a problem with me. Or why you didn't just ask me not to come by so you could confess without me being in the way?"

Janus rubbed his face gently fighting the urge to groan. "Well I certainly wasn't going to tell the king what to do, but on top of that, they made their position fairly clear. They were yours." He turned to look at Roman and he watched a look of surprise cross the king's face, eyes wide and gills flared. "I have no intention of getting in the way of their future and their happiness."

"You..." Roman started, voice choked as he gained his composure, brushing the sides of his cheek which had gained a bit of color. "You're an idiot."

Janus stopped, surprise crossing his own face. He focused on the king, attempting to understand what Roman had intended with that response. He was at a loss. Thankfully the king had more to say, apparently.

"They love you, have you not noticed that? And I don't mean in the sense of friendship. Virgil's tail does the same thing when he talks with me, or with Logan as it does with you, the little curl of nervous excitement, and Logan is constantly adjusting his glasses attempting to be perfect in your eyes because if he's perfect, maybe you'll notice him."

Janus sputtered, "N-no. That's not, Virgil does that when he's comfortable with people and he is obviously comfortable with me we've been friends for more then two decades, and Logan, he does that when he's excited. It has nothing to do with how they feel about me. Obviously they are both comfortable around me, we're friends."

"Yep, you're an idiot." Roman began to rise. "The question is do you love them?" He watched Janus with an intensity that he didn't like, that he didn't know how to deal with. Janus had already admitted to loving them. What more did the king want? "I think that's the answer I was looking for." Roman stretched, giving Janus a smile that he didn't understand. "I doubt even if I were to prove it you would understand, but this will at least be entertaining for me."

He started to swim off, leaving Janus alone in the room as he felt the exhaustion creeping up on him. He wasn't sure if it was from his healing injuries, the lack of food, or his conversation with the king. Either way, he wanted to rest. He could go back home after that, rethink his plan about how he wanted to proceed. Whatever he was doing wasn't working.

"Jay!" Virgil's voice echoed in the otherwise empty room interrupting Janus' plan for sleep. Immediately afterward, he felt the pressure of someone laying on top of him, obviously avoiding his injures with the careful precision that only Virgil was capable of.

"It's alright, Shadow. I can't be killed that easily. You know this," Janus whispered, gently running a hand through Virgil's hair, floating in the current they had created. Logan was by their side shortly after, looking down at the two of them.

"You had us worried." His voice was flat, but the way his hands were folded behind his back, no doubt hiding the way they shook, was exceedingly telling. There was a part of Janus that wanted to push them all away, to put up the walls he had meticulously built when they both became Roman's, but he was tired. Instead, he reached out an arm, inviting Logan in and the other man curled up by his side, wrapping his tail protectively over both Janus and Virgil. "I'm not letting you go again," Logan whispered it like a fact, like a truth that not even the gods could change.

"Sleep first, then we can discuss." Janus was trying to leave room for things to change. He didn't want to continue being an outsider looking in. It hurt too much to be near them and to not be theirs.

"No, no discussion." Logan's voice continued to hold that completely assured quality. "I have held my tongue long enough. I love you, and I believe you love me too." A slight waver, barely perceptible but still there. "And I'm not going to let you go. I won't lose you."

What could Janus say to that? When Logan made up his mind there wasn't much argument that could be had. It was strange, and he hadn't fully wrapped his head around the words Logan had said. When he woke up again, more rested and more lucid, he might have something interesting to say about Logan's confession. However, for now, he just closed his eyes.

"Alright, you won't lose me, but we still have things we need to discuss." He wrapped his arm around Logan's back, hand splayed against the other man's flesh. He was too tired for this discussion now, but they would have it soon.

"A worthy compromise," Logan whispered. "Good night Janus."

"Good Night," Virgil echoed and Janus didn't blush, of course he didn't, but his lips did curl into a soft smile as he listed to the two of them breathing.

"Good night."

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