#tumblr ate all the sharpness huh

[verthu]

>:)

#tumblr ate all the sharpness huh #ts4 #ts4 edit #the sims 4 #sims 4 #sims 4 edit #ts4 render #sims 4 render #sims #my sim neo #my sim jay

[rat3ggs]

beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

God he’s so fine I can’t get over it 😮‍💨

So, This is my first post on tumblr, any advice or constructive criticism is greatly appreciated! Sorry for bad grammar and punctuation, I kinda made this randomly.

Gyutaro smut, Fem bodied reader, semi public sex, light bdsm (hair pulling, mild teasing), 2.1k words, I genuinely don’t know what else to add.

———————————————————————

You work as a courtesan in the red light district, you’ve been here.. so long, it feels like it’s been a century.

You’ve noticed life has slowly lost its taste- the exciting adrenaline that comes with the feeling of being in the red light district now tastes bland and flavourless; everything just molds together, the faces of the men you’ve lain with look the same, the same actions, the same sizes, the same warm skin.. death would be more interesting than your current life is. Everyday like clockwork you awake, tend to the house, and prepare to service clients. you put on your layered kimono and begin applying your makeup, a thick layer of white makeup to cover your skin, you darken your eyebrows and then apply some red eyeshadow, and finally the red lip-tint.

That’s the theme.. red, your kimono is red, your eye makeup and lips.. red seems to haunt everything in your life, the colour red almost makes you feel sick.

The day went by so fast you barely even registered night came, it felt like someone was just possessing your body. before you even notice what your doing you’ve left the walls of the Ogimoto House. you stroll through the streets before the eyes of various men became far too much for you, you turn into an alleyway-- not a smart action, luckily, the men don’t follow you.

You walked for what felt like hours, but in reality it was probably just a few minutes. You eventually stopped in an alleyway.. not by choice, but when you step into a puddle and it’s soaked your shoes, when you look down, you see that sickening red. For a moment, your eyes barely registered what it is; it’s a puddle of blood! When you finally did realize, it’s not because you came to your senses; it’s because you heard a scratchy voice in the shadows.

“Ohh? Hold on, Did a courtesan stray from her house? It’s my lucky day..”

Your head whipped up to look up at the voice—it’s not like anything you’ve ever heard. It sounds like he’s never drunken water in his entire lifetime, or even touched a liquid for that matter. Your eyes can’t help but widen as you see the man or thing that stands before you. His posture reminds you of a shrimp! a large man with pale grey skin, black polka dots and mist shaped marks scattered all over his body. He has short wavy hair which starts out black then fades to green.. you’ve never thought much of green but he makes it so.. beautiful. His sclera are an unnatural colour of yellow and his irises are dark green with the kanji for Upper Moon Six written on, you can see his hip bones.. he’s so skinny he’d look like bone If not for the muscle he has! he wears no shirt and only has on a pair of baggy blue pants as well as a long red cloth wrapped loosely around his arms and neck… he holds two sickles that resemble bone? It clicks he’s a demon.

“Aren’t you pretty? I bet you already know that huh? Well? What are you staring at, never seen a demon before? Or have you never seen someone so unfortunate looking?”

He said “unfortunate looking” with a big smile.. almost like he took pride in his lack of attractiveness, your eyes trailed along his teeth for a second.. so sharp, he could bite a piece out of your flesh effortlessly! your eyes fell back to the blood- you don’t see a body? Maybe he ate it?.. he does have those shark teeth!

“Well? SPIT IT OUT! What are you deaf?”

He began scratching his face so hard it broke skin, his expression contorted into one of annoyance. You felt your hands tremble and your heart race. that’s all you could hear for a moment, the pounding of your heart.

“You little brat are you—“

You finally found the courage to speak and yet nothing came out.

“Y-you.. y—y-you’re..”

you watched his annoyance turn into an amused grin- showing his razor sharp teeth Off almost like a taunt, he walked over and stood face to face, your eyes widened and you covered your mouth almost instinctively.

“What? Was I right? Never seen someone like me? Are you terrified? Or maybe disgusted?”

He laughed and slapped the top of your head, he’s very heavy handed. You feel your body jolt with shock before he does it again and again, it stings more and more each time he does it.

“Poor girl, having to see someone as hideous as me! You must be terrified, but I bet your like all those other pretty women.. you must have me for being in your very sight! So petrified you can’t even speak!”

He gripped your hair so tightly you felt a few strands break off from your scalp, he forced you to look up at him- he has a sadistic grin on his face, his eyes pierce into yours and you feel your heart beat so hard it feels like someone’s drumming in your chest!

“You’re so handsome!”

You finally squeaked out, you aren’t scared.. you’ve never been more attracted to someone if you’re honest! He’s so— different! You’ve NEVER seen anyone like him! You feel your inner thighs begin to heat up as you stare into his eyes- you must look like a lovesick fool! He looks shocked at your words, his grin fell and he stared at you with furrowed eyebrows- he looked almost offended before he gripped your hair even tighter- somehow he looked even more confused for a moment before releasing your hair- that gave you the chance to quickly slink away! He didn’t even follow you, just stared at your back perplexed.

That night when you finally returned to the Ogimoto House, you rushed to your room and quickly changed into new clothes- you’re drenched in sweat! You’ve never felt so giddy in your entire life.. it feels like you’ve just been blessed by the gods! You want to thank whatever god molded that handsome man and allowed your eyes to be worthy of his gaze personally! You pant as your hands tremble, you stared out the window for almost an hour, hoping to see him again! You finally came to your senses and sat on your bed. you almost died! Well.. having your hair pulled isn’t anything new working as a courtesan, neither is the slapping.. you manage to relax just enough to fall asleep at midnight.

That night your dreams are filled with that demon, it’s so real you can almost feel his heavy hands on you.. trailing down from your neck until they meet your breasts, he’d squeeze and flick your sensitive nipples- making you squeak and gasp before he slid his hands down your nude body, all the way down to you’re soaked pussy.. his fingers flick your sensitive clit before he began to pump his fingers into you, he thrusted them in and out at a painfully slow pace, your tongues meet in a passionate dance- he pulled your face away with a grin before pulling his fingers out of you and began to take off his pants, before his cock could be released from the cruel prison that are blocking the pleasure you crave, you wake up with a frustrated groan.

That day goes by like every other day, you get dressed, clean, tend to clients.. but the entire day you thought of the shark toothed demon, a heat in your loins every time you thought of how his hands felt in your hair. That night you go back to that alley in hopes of seeing him again- dressed in the prettiest kimono you own and the most you’ve ever tried on your makeup- you look gorgeous.

“You trying to mock me, Brat? Show off how beautiful you are and how ugly I am? I bet you’d never give a man like me a second glance huh?”

There he was again.. you felt your heart throb- you don’t think you’ve ever been so infatuated and aroused for someone! You have to stop yourself from reaching out to try and touch him.

“No, No! I’m not trying to mock you I promise! And— did you want me to give you a second glance?”

You teased him, maybe that’s smart? He does look quite shocked.. his face goes back to a frown, you can’t figure out what type of woman he wants- all the men you know just like pretty faces!

“What’s your name?”

“Y/N! And you are..?”

“Gyutaro.”

That’s such a unique name! You’ve never gushed so hard for a man, you’ve also never tried so hard.. you can’t believe how much you’ve grown attracted to him in just one night.

“Y/N.. You know I could eat you, right?”

“I do! But it’d be the most interesting thing to happen to me in years.. and I don’t think you will, maybe you can— but you won’t.”

“Cocky, I hate that.”

“Well, the only eating on me you’ll do won’t be the type you’re thinking.”

He looked confused for a moment before a deep grey blush flashed across his face before he grabbed you by the hair once more and pulled you face to face, a deep frown plastered on his face.

“You’re real bold Yknow? or maybe stupid- probably both! I really hate that.”

You sighed and your eyes trailed down to his pants, you see the unmistakable print of his erection.. he’s so hard his cock is throbbing! He must not have many women crazy enough to start flirting with him, you take a small step closer to him and slide his pants down- Gyutaro eyes widened but he didn’t do anything to stop you, You dropped to your knees as his cock sprung out! Demon cocks are certainly bigger than humans. His cock springs out against your cheek, cum beading at the tip of his cock. He has beautiful black birthmarks along his cock as well. You began kissing each mark before you finally wrapped your lips around his cock, looking up to see his face- it’s almost like that set him off, like his mind registered it as you mocking him.. that’s all he needed to slam his cock down your throat, making you gag and grip his thighs as he started pounding your mouth like a cock sleeve.

“Dirty slut.. how dare yo— mhm..!”

He’s practically drooling, his hands knotted in your hair- forcing you to look up at his face with a hard pull as he pumped his cock down your throat, his eyes rolling up into the back of his head from pleasure. Tears begin to pool in your eyes; you feel his cock forced its way in and out of your throat; your vision begins to blur; although if you could see clearly, you’d see his sadistic grin as he watches you cry in discomfort. He feels his cock throb, and he pushes down as far as he possibly can to release his cum; he basically forced you to swallow as he fell back against a wall, panting and gasping while he released his grip on your hair.

Before you could even try to compose yourself you felt his hands wrap around your hips and your cheek press against a wall. his strong hand grip your hip while his other rips the kimono off your body, leaving you in absolutely nothing. His hand kneaded the soft skin of your ass before he gave it a hard slap, making you gasp while he laughed once more.

“Filthy little whore..”

He whispered that over and over again before he finally began fucking you, his cock almost instantly hit your cervix- not a soft brush against but hard enough to leave a bruise! That made you yelp, he laughed and began thrusting into you at inhuman speeds- the stretch make you feel dizzy with pleasure, your legs begin trembling- your brain was so foggy you barely noticed when he lifted you up so you’d stay still.

“Taro!”

“It’s g— never mind..”

He mumbled as he pounded into you, his strong arms wrapped around your body like a coat - Your head fell back against his shoulder, and your tongue lulled out. You went slack-jawed from pleasure. His heavy pants and low moans pressed against your ear as he rearranged your insides. This went on for what felt like hours before he finally released inside you, his hot cum squirting into your ready womb. You cried out in surprise and opened your eyes in shock. That shock turned into a pleasure gasp when his fingers began circling your aching clit, feeling around it before he began rubbing and teasing it. It didn’t take much effort for your orgasm to follow after his—your body went limp in his arms.

He stayed silent before he dropped you onto the alleyways floor. he pulled his pants back on and stared at your trembling form.

“Maybe you aren’t as bitchy as all the other pretty skanks, Y/N”

He stroked your hair like one would a dog with a long coat, although insulted at first at the “maybe”, but the way he said your name made your stomach flutter. he turned his back to you and left the alleyway, leaving you naked to think back on this entire endeavour, you’ve never cum so hard from just one round.. is it because you like him? Or just because he’s something new? Either way this isn’t an experience you’ll forget anytime soon.

Something tells you this won’t be the last time you meet Gyutaro.

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#demon slayer smut #smut #demon slayer #reading #gyutaro #kny #kny smut #gyutaro smut #gyutaro x reader #self insert #reader insert #kimetsu no yaiba #the things i’d let him do to me

[nalu-love-4-life]

Dragon Swan Song

Author’s Note:

It’s been a very long time since I wrote a drabble on Tumblr for NaLu. But I have had an itch lately to write something for them, because I haven’t written anything passionately in a very long time, and what could be more fun to jump back into writing than to write about my OTP?

I hope you all enjoy this short NaLu drabble where Natsu is a knight assigned to protect the princess, Lucy!

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________

The skirt of my dress flowed freely around my ankles as I paced back and forth from the end of my bed to the chamber doors. A feeling of impending dread was steadily building in my stomach and each time I stopped to take a breath the anxious knots only seemed to pull tighter. The late morning sunlight streaming in from the balcony created patches of heat on the cool stone floor. While the warmth on my skin brought brief comfort, my thoughts were still troubled and they swirled in my head, going ‘round and around, making me dizzy. My pacing stopped only when I heard a low rapping on the doors behind me.

“Excuse me, Princess. I’m coming in,” a husky voice called.

I swiveled around and straightened my back, and hastily tucked a couple loose strands of hair - which had fallen over my face - behind my ear. After clasping my hands together with a firm grip, I answered, “C-come in!” There was a momentary pause before the doors opened and a familiar mess of pink hair peaked into view.

Natsu, I thought with a soft sigh. I could already feel my worries sliding off from my shoulders. As he stepped into the room, I could see his firm build. He stood almost a foot taller than me and his skin was tanned from spending long days training in the sun.

“Princess Lucy, is everything alright?” He asked. “I could hear your footsteps from the other side of the doors. Is there something on your mind?” His voice was deep and sincere, but the formality of his speech felt strange.

“Y-yes! Everything is fine, really. No need to worry. I’m just overthinking some plans that my father had proposed to me this past evening.” I did my best to brush his concern away with a smile and a curt wave of my hand, but the crease between his eyebrows remained and his lips did not move from the slight frown they were set in.

“Hmm,” he hummed aloud. “Well, though I believe you’re telling me the truth, I cannot take your words at mere face value.”

“Huh?” I questioned.

“You don’t look like you’re in full health, Princess. So I will do my own inspection to make sure you are feeling well,” he said in a raised voice while peering down the long hallway. I waited with anticipation as Natsu quietly shut the wooden doors. He paused, and I watched his shoulders rise and fall as he slowly breathed in and out. When he turned around and looked at me I could see the glimmer of mischief dancing in his onyx eyes.

“Natsu,” I said. “What are you doing? It’s the middle of the day. We could be caught!”

He smirked, briefly flashing his sharp canines. A jolt rippled down my spine and my heart beat faster in my chest.

“We’ll be fine, Luce,” he said. Natsu took a couple steps closer to me. He had a confident air about him. “Anyone who was around thinks I’m simply checking on the princess to make sure she’s feeling well. Nothing wrong with that, right?” He raised his eyebrows and the devilish flare grew in his eyes. My knees wobbled underneath the intensity of his stare. As he entered further into the room, the sunlight illuminated the details of his face. I couldn’t help myself from studying him.

The old scar that ran down his right cheek stopped at his jawline, and another stretched across the right side of his neck. The rough skin healed a bit darker than his normal shade, which only made them appear more prominent. His cheeks were dusted a soft rose giving him a healthy and youthful likeness. Light freckles speckled the bridge of his nose and under his eyes, but if you weren’t looking close enough you wouldn’t think he had any at all. There was a bit of dirt on his forehead and his hair was in mild disarray, so he had probably been training in the courtyard or tending to the horses in the stables earlier. My eyes continued to scan over his face. I didn’t want to miss a thing.

“Like what you see?”

“Huh?!” Startled, my concentration broke and our eyes locked.

Natsu chuckled and closed the little distance that was left between us. His smile was warm. “You’re cute when you get lost in thought,” he muttered bringing his right hand to rest on my cheek. It was as if there was fire in his fingertips. His touch was gentle, but every one set my skin ablaze. I could feel the rough callouses on his palm that had formed from years of hard work wielding his sword and perfecting his skills.

“Don’t tease me like that,” I pouted. My hair fell loose around my shoulders as I turned my head to the side.

“Aw, come on, Luce. I was being serious,” he whined, but the slight twitch at the corners of his mouth gave away his amusement. A gasp escaped my lips as I felt two strong arms circle around my waist and pull me forward. Our bodies pressed together and the palms of my hands rested on his chest. All I could think about was how firm and strong it felt.

“Natsu th-this is embarrassi-!”

“You really are beautiful, Princess,” he murmured. His voice was low and tender and every word sounded so sincere. I really admired that about him. Though sometimes he could be honest to a fault, it was just another one of his many charms.

He used his hand that was on my cheek to brush the hair from my face and place it back behind my ear. “There they are,” he said. “Hey, Doe Eyes.” A quiet chuckle rumbled in his throat.

“Hi,” I whispered almost breathless. Natsu smelled like warm linen and earth, with a hint of something sweet, like honey or vanilla. I wished that I could bottle that scent so I could revisit it whenever, but did my best to focus so I could at least commit it to memory. His dark eyes held me as a willing captive and I couldn’t tear myself away. As frustrating as his teasing could be at times, I was never more at ease than when I was enveloped in his embrace. Whenever it seemed like everything was turning upside down and I felt as if I could float away at any given moment, I could always count on him to tether me and bring me safely back to solid ground.

His face relaxed as he scanned over me. “Now,” Natsu said clearing his throat. “Are you gonna tell me why you were pacing so much? Your footsteps were so loud, I bet everyone in the castle thought an ogre was stomping around in here.” Natsu’s eyebrows lifted and his lips puckered ever-so slightly. I could tell he was holding in laughter.

“How dare you!” I huffed and pushed against his chest so that he would relinquish his hold on me. “And just when I thought you were being genuinely sweet for once.” I crossed my arms over my chest and marched onto the balcony.

There was a cool spring breeze and the sky was bright blue with thin white clouds floating lazily overhead. I positioned myself so that my arms rested against the thick metal railing that overlooked the castle garden. All of the flowers were in full bloom and their many scents mixed in a harmonious melody which filled the air and swirled around me. I took a deep breath in to fully appreciate the wonderful aroma. As my muscles began to relax the sound of heavy boots came closer to my turned back.

Natsu stood quietly beside me with his back leaned against the railing. He craned his neck to the side and looked across the castle grounds. “You always did enjoy the garden, didn’t you?” He asked, although it seemed like it was more of a statement to himself. “Even when we were kids, if you were ever upset you’d always go someplace where you could see the flowers.”

I glanced at him from the side. “Of course I like the garden,” I sighed. “The flowers are pretty, it’s always quiet, and I can lose myself walking around in it. I can pretend like I don’t have a care in the world—like I can do whatever I want—be whoever I want—love whoever I-” I stopped myself and turned to look at Natsu. He was smiling at me, but it was small and there was sadness underneath. Natsu shifted his eyes away from me and turned around so that he faced the garden. His broad shoulders slumped forward and his weight pressed down on his forearms that he’d rested on the railing.

“Do you remember that day?” He asked. “When we met?” I ran my eyes over his face, trying to discern what he might be thinking. “You were picking daisies in the far corner of the garden to make a makeshift crown, and I was running from Makorov ‘cuz I accidentally tore a hole right through his trousers with my sword.”

“As I recall, you caused that tear because you were sparring with Gray again over who was going to get to eat the last slice of Miss Mira’s strawberry shortcake that she’d baked earlier that day,” I mocked. “But then Erza knocked your heads together, claimed it for herself, and ate it right in front of you! So neither you nor Gray got any cake and you were both punished for fighting—no sweets for a whole month!” I raised my hand to cover my mouth as I laughed.

“Y-yeah… Erza’s scary,” Natsu muttered.

I stood with my hands on my hips and gave a disapproving stare. “I haven’t forgotten how you ran straight into me and crushed all of my daisies before I could make that crown, by the way,” I said. “And you caused me to fall face first into the dirt and ruin the new dress Father had gotten for me, too,” I huffed. Natsu grimaced and rubbed the back of his head, ruffling his hair.

“Uh, yeah, sorry,” he said. “I remember getting an earful about that too.”

I scoffed in mild amusement. “It’s fine. To be quite honest, Father always ordered the most stuffy dresses back then, anyway, and the one you ruined was particularly stifling to wear,” I said. “Especially when I was out in the garden.”

“Well, I wish you had said something back then before Erza chewed me out for that in between mouthfuls of cake,” Natsu laughed.

“Why would I when it’s so amusing to see how you and Gray shake like puppies when she scolds you?” He pretended to pout at my taunting which only made me laugh more. “Miss Erza’s not so terrible, you know,” I said gaining my composure.

“You only think that because you’ve never had to fight her. After one training session I can barely move for days whenever she’s put in charge of combat practice. She’s merciless!” He whined.

I giggled and Natsu turned his head so he could look at me. His eyes were serious when they met mine. Something about his steady gaze threw my stomach for a whirl. “W-what is it?” I asked.

Natsu shifted his weight and stood tall. His stature blocked the sun and cast a shadow over me. To someone else, he might seem scary using his full height to his advantage like this. But to me, he was no more threatening than a dragonfly.

“Lucy,” he said. His voice came off stern but his eyes were almost pleading. “Tell me why you’ve been so stressed lately. I won’t continue to pretend like I haven’t noticed.” Natsu took my hand in his. I could feel his thumb tracing gentle circles over the tops of my fingers. Unlike before, he kept a respectable distance between us and was careful to hide our clasped hands behind the railing.

We couldn’t risk the groundskeepers or any other castle attendant seeing us, and the balcony was a very public spot. Any affectionate display witnessed by the wrong person was sure to circulate through the castle grapevine, and there would surely be repercussions to face. I knew this, of course, but I still felt my heart longing.

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Author’s End Note:

I hope you all enjoyed this first installation of this NaLu drabble as much as I enjoyed writing it! Sorry to leave you all on a bit of a cliffhanger there but it was getting much longer than originally intended haha Should I continue it and make it a real story? If you want more please like, comment, and/or DM me and let me know what you think! And make sure to follow me on here on tumblr for any updates on this story and so you don’t miss any other Fairy Tail NaLu drabbles or fanfic posts/art or story reblogs!

❤️ nalu-love-4-life

#fairy tail #angst #nalu #natsu dragneel #lucy heartfilia #gray fullbuster #romance #fanfiction #love #princess #knight #adventure #fluff #drabble #writing #story #sad #heartbreak #anime #nalu-love-4-life

[calunasteria]

please, xanny. | sanzu haruchiyo

"𝙝𝙚 𝙨𝙢𝙚𝙡𝙡𝙚𝙙 𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚 𝙙𝙖𝙣𝙜𝙚𝙧 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙗𝙪𝙡𝙡𝙚𝙩𝙨 𝙗𝙪𝙩 𝙝𝙚 𝙨𝙝𝙤𝙬𝙚𝙙 𝙢𝙚 𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙝𝙚𝙖𝙫𝙚𝙣 𝙛𝙚𝙚𝙡𝙨 𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚."

- wherein sanzu haruchiyo falls in love. that's all. (i'm bad at summarising my stories, i'm sorry ><)

current word count: 3.1k

tw (throughout the series): mentions of drug use and abuse, manipulation (gaslighting) and toxic relationships, mentions of blood, death, and murder, rape (attempt), use of deadly weapons, slight nsfw (??) - kindly tell me if i missed one. thank you.

date started: 07/29/21 (wattpad) | 07/31/21 (tumblr)

date ended: -

01 ! please,xanny.

-

what was it? was it the alcohol? was it the food they ate earlier? maybe it was spoiled, or worse, maybe it has drugs? probably no.

 maybe she's just overthinking things.

maybe she's just imagining all of this.

to say that she's inloveㅡ no, cross that out, to say that he's inlove is dangerous.

but how is it that the sanzu haruchiyo, bonten's number 2, is making her feel numerous things?

he reeked of instability, insanity.

yet his touch was as soft as the cotton, gentle like the wind, it was comforting.

say....

have you ever known what it felt like to drive on highways, with gnawing trepidation?

to taste betrayal and fondness while running on an endless tunnel of vague roads?

to be loved by none other than sanzu haruchiyo?

-

"welcome everyone, to our company's afterparty, please enjoy yourselves for tonight!" honey dripping voice echoed throughout the wide spaced room that is decorated with some dimmed and flashing lights, shimmering crystals plastered on the wall, extravagant leather couches, and large, black speakers booming with music. her soft, delicate hands then set the microphone down, as her wavy jet black hair bounced and swayed as she walked down the stairs with elegance.

"nakashima-san, the director wants to talk to you, he said to head towards the VIP area, over there." a small voice beside the stairs managed to squeak out, catching the girl's attention and turning her head to the direction he pointed at.

"did he told you the reason why he wanted to talk to me?" she asked, voice filled with a hint of irritation and tiredness - the complete opposite of how she sounded earlier on the stage. the boy shook his head, then uttered 'excuse me' before dashing away from his superior.

the girl then just sighed and walked towards the bar counter, which is the complete opposite of the direction she was told to go.

"one grey goose martini and a plain cranberry juice, please. thank you." she ordered as she sat down.

"wow, you're actually gonna drink tonight, kasumi? are your shits finally getting to you, girl?" the lady beside her stated with amusement as she popped out of nowhere, a glass of whiskey found in her hand, still laughing and smiling drunkenly.

"yes, kaoru. where the fuck were you? you were supposed to be the one to speak up front earlier to welcome the guests, not me, because i was the one who arranged this. and now boss said he wanted to talk to me about something." kasumi vented to her friend while her friend's grin just got wider, further infuriating her.

"whY THE HELL ARE YOU SMILING KAORU I-"

"calm the fuck down, kasumi, don't let boss get into your nerves, okay? its just me, so inhale, exhale. nice! see, just go drink your shits and talk to boss later. maybe hand in your resignation slip, you know?" kaoru laughed while wiggling her eyebrows and hugging kasumi.

the two talked to each other for a while before kasumi bid her goodbye and stood up to head to the direction she was supposed to go to earlier.

her heels clacked on the expensive marbled flooring while her black silk dress hugged her curvaceous body, gently flowing while walking.

upon reaching her destination, there she saw her boss with at least 4 women whispering and flirting with him, one on his lap and 3 beside him, along side with his other friends and acquaintances. they both shared a glance momentarily as kasumi forcefully smiled to her boss.

"ah yes, everyone, excuse me for i have something to finish up with my personal assistant." her boss announced to all the people around him, making kasumi uncomfortable and embarrassed, by all the stares she accumulated and daggers she got from the women who was flirting earlier with her boss.

"let's go, darling." sentence uttered by her boss before they left the place with him grabbing her wrist, and oh heavenly archons how irritated kasumi was because of her boss' actions and words.

she was practically being dragged away the from the event area, their shoes resonating throughout the empty hallways that are connected to the parking lot when she asked him, "excuse me sir, but where are we going? i thought you said you wanted to talk to me?"

"hmmm, yes. that's right, don't worry, kasumi-chan, we're just going to talk while where on a late night drive, and it'll definitely enlighten you. now get in the car." he ordered with flirty yet stern voice but kasumi did not budge at all - she just stared in disbelief to her boss, anger bubbling up within her.

"kasumi, we both know that i don't like repeating myself, now do what i said, please."

"i'm sorry but i don't think i'll go with you since we can talk here. so just say what you need to say so i can get on with my life, thank you." she declared cheekily.

"i said get in the car, why are yo-" he blurted out with annoyance but was cut off when kasumi said, "seems to me like you don't have anything to say, well i have one, i'm resigning, kitamura-san, i'll hand the file tomorrow, so if you have any requests, tell them to your next assistant." then proceeds to walk away that made her boss snap.

rushing towards her with malice and anger, with his system being controlled by the alcohol he consumed earlier, he grabbed kasumi's hair making her stumble and lose her balance, while the towering man held her waist with his left arm and his right arm held her face forcefully, and whispered to her from behind, "that's what i hate about you, you're so fucking stubborn, you and your smart ass mouth, i hate it so fucking much makes me want to shove my dick down your throat to make you obey me, and cry you bitch."

kasumi had chills run down her spine when she heard her boss mutter those words to her, and when she felt him grinding on her from behind ㅡ the last string of patience she had snapped in half, all she can see was red.

she used all her strength to stomp on the man's foot making him clutch down because of pain inflicted by her stiletto, releasing his hands that grasped her smaller frame. her hands then moved swiftly with anger to slap the man before her, knees being lifted up to kick his crotch making him to finally crumple down on the floor, silently mumbling profanities under his breath containing hatred.

"the next time you pull that stunt with me, or with other girls, i'll make sure you won't have something called dick after that." she threatened, voice laced with venom as she tried to wipe the ruffles that ruined her expensive, dusk colored dress.

"don't think you'll get away with this, bitch." the man croaked out while standing up, eyes filled with animosity, but then falling on his knees once again when a sharp, solid whipping sound tore through his thighs, vermillion colored blood gushing out of the gaping hole that was shot, followed by his shrill, agonized wail.

"seems like you grew stronger these past few years, kasumi-chan." a familiar voice grinned, few meters away from her.

"haruchiyo." she whispered under her breath, astounded.

***

"kasumi? are you listening?" a soft feminine voice spoke out, breaking the deep trance the raven coloured hair girl was in - chasmic ebony eyes stared at the person next to her, embarrassment creeping up in her system, realizing that she hasn't paid any attention to the words and sentences that her friend was telling her.

"i'm sorry, kaoru. what were you saying again?" she apologized, tuning her attention towards her half eaten sandwich that she was munching earlier.

"i was asking you if you know that boy over there, 5 o'clock," kasumi whipped her head towards the direction her friend gave her, eyes landing on a somewhat familiar person - he had a medium length hair dyed with bleach blonde, eyes glimmering like precious blue zircon gem, long and beautiful eyelashes that highlighted his daring eyes and a noticeable black mask covering half of his face. he looked so serene among the vast crowd  filled with bustling people.

"sanzu?" she asked turning her head to her friend who's eyes sparked with curiosity and underlying suspicions.

"how'd you know him?" the petite girl squinted her eyes to her friend, making kasumi roll her ebony orbs. "i just happen to know his name. after all, he's in a gang, right? toman, i think."

"i wasn't aware that you know about gangs, kasumi-chan. perhaps you like their leader, huh." her friend teased earning another eye roll from her brunette friend. "i'm just kidding. its just that i haven't saw him without his mask. some people say he has nasty scar on both side of his mouth, and i don't know if its legit, but given the fact that he wears that mask, its probably true." kaoru shrugged and stood up to head to their class.

sanzu haruchiyo. he was definitely mysterious, kasumi mused, as she walked. he was quiet and he had a calm demeanor when he talks. they weren't close but they shared a small talk in the past, and usually its just about school, like each of their classes borrowing and returning some school supplies and other little things. she never even heard him speak more than 7 words. well, it wasn't a big deal, since she thinks that he's just an another person on this world who has probably their own shits to deal with. he was insignificant to her as she was to him. or so she thought.

their room was filled with silent mumblings, a heavenly boring stupor that kasumi tried to fight, heavily lidded eyes blinking slowly in the hopes of trying to understand their lesson - she was tired and sleepy and it was not long until their class ended, her mind being awakened once again like a newborn baby, because she's going home.

their house reeked of alcohol and despair, of cigarettes and sorrow - it was a hopeless sight. everything was a mess. kasumi then heard a faint coughing on their kitchen and there she saw her ill mother who's trying to wash the dishes with her frail arms, her thin and small frame found her daughter who rushed to her side to help her do the chores but then just told her to sit down and rest.

"mama, you're not supposed to be doing that. you're the one here who needs to rest, i can handle that. besides, where's papa?"

"he's out, i think. but don't worry, kasumi i'm almost finished. we can then eat dinner afterwards so you can talk to me about what happened today with you? you don't have work tonight, right sweetheart?" her mother's voice was definitely her haven, it was warm and sweet. "yes, sure." the girl replied, already at ease but then her phone chimed loudly, signaling that someone texted her - it was her co-worker that texted her he can't attend his shift, and was asking kasumi to be the one to replace him for the mean time.

what are the fucking odds.

her mother noticed the younger's change of emotion and asked, "who was it, sweetheart?" and it pained kasumi to leave her mother alone again but she needs to work. she needs the money. "i need to go, i actually have work since im covering for my co-worker's shift. i'll be right back, so make sure you eat your dinner. i love you." she kissed her mother on her forehead before she left.

***

"thank you, come again!" the girl chimed in, weariness evident in her voice. it was 2:30am and god knows how tired she was. this was supposed to be her day off but the universe just straight up said no.

"nakashima-san, i'm so sorry, you can now go, i'll take it from here on. please take this on your way home as a compensation for what you did to me. thank you! take care on your way home." her co-worker apologized, shyly smiling and blush evident on his cheeks as he handed her a plastic bag filled with some foods and snacks.

kasumi uttered her thanks, with a small smile as she went to change her clothes to go home already as all she wants to do right now was sleep and rest.

upon reaching the store's parking area for bicycles, she noticed that one its tires was flat. she sighed loudly, venting out her exasperation and frustration.

"well, guess i'll walk then. fuckkkkkk. this isn't my day huh." she groaned, muttering some profanities before going on her way home.

it was a chilly night, the breeze was crisp and wintry, with her trembling breath rising up forming a ghostly smoke, vanishing into thin air as she exhales. her whole body was quivering because her cardigan was too thin for this type of weather. kasumi hugged herself in hopes of warming herself up. the skies were tainted with midnight blue perfectly combined with the pitch black heavens decorated with gleaming constellations and stars, along with the dimly hanged moon.

her way home usually takes around 30-40 minutes with her bike, and around an hour and a half if one decides to walk. it was a peaceful and cold night not until she passed this one dark alleyway where there were 2 men laughing their asses off, and another one drinking away his life. kasumi paid no attention to the men and just picked up her walking pace to quickly get out of the picture when her left arm was sharply snatched by one of the men in the dark alleyway.

"hey pretty, wanna have fun with us?" the man grinned like a maniac, his yellow teeth visible and his breath smelled like rum and hostility combined together. the other men laughed like crazy while the last one ogled at kasumi's body.

"no, let me go you ugly bastards." kasumi snapped, snatching her hand away from the man, before turning away to run. she wasn't dumb to not pick up what in fuck was happening back there, so she tried to regain her composure by trying to find her phone to dial the number of her friend who's probably still awake by now to call for help when her hair was maliciously dragged backwards making her lose her balance only to fall on the ground and be dragged away. the plastic bag she was carrying along with her phone was now nowhere to be found.

only her hoarse cry for help was audible, she was too slow, too tired, too exhausted for all of the things happening to her - but her body was flailing so hard, trying to release herself from the man's tight grasp on her hair and it felt like its going to be ripped off her head anytime soon when they stopped on the same alleyway the men were previously drinking. "bitch thought she can get away with us, well let me tell you something sweetheart, we don't take no as an answer. plus you were wearing that thin-ass blouse,  you're trying to seduce us after all so let's have fun shall we?" the bald headed man smirked while he held kasumi down on the ground.

she was terrified, frustrated, and she's doing her best to try and fight them all away. she was able to slap and kick the two of them, desperation was highly evident as she frantically scramble to her feet but that was as far as she can go for she was violently punched and slapped before she fell down with her vision getting hazy, tears streaming down her face non-stop as she lost all her energy to fight. everything was becoming blurry and she was now just hoping for everything to just end.

she was so lost in her train of thought that she didn't even realize that the men who were trying to break and ruin her were now out cold, laying on the freezing ground while a man towered over them.

"stand up." was all kasumi heard when she snap back to reality and saw a figure standing before her, wearing an all black outfit - black jacket, black jeans, and a black mask. his straight bleach colored hair was neatly tied up in a ponytail too.

"stand up." sanzu repeated as kasumi tried to stand up, still shaken by what happened to her and the picture of the scene before her. kasumi then felt something drape over her shoulder when sanzu came near her, his mint and delicate masculine scent filling her senses.

"follow me." was all the boy said before he exited the alleyway leaving her all alone with his jacket that he gave her. following his footsteps, while tightly clutching his jacket, she saw a shiny, and expensive looking car few meters out the alleyway with sanzu standing near it, and as she got closer to him, she heard him say, "get in."

not wanting and not having enough energy to fight nor say anything, kasumi just silently obliged to what he said. after getting inside the vehicle, sanzu followed afterwards, turning on the car and driving to god knows where - kasumi was drained, and she couldn't care less what would happen anymore although she wanted to say and atleast utter her gratitude towards the boy beside her, but her voice just seems to be gone. the car ride with him was silent, but it wasn't awkward. it wasn't uncomfortable. it wasn't scary either, rather, it was surprisingly comforting.

moments later, kasumi saw a familiar house outside her window when sanzu pulled up and opened the door for her, handing her some of the things she brought earlier - her bag and her phone.

he didn't talk, he didn't say anything before heading out and going inside his car once again, and driving away.

kasumi was dumbfounded.

she have so many questions whirling over her head like, how did he know my place? why did he do that?

she entered their house with her head aching - cross that out, with her whole body aching, everything that happened to her this day had taken  a toll on her. she was definitely traumatized and shaken by what happened. with her literally dragging her body towards her room desperate to rest and lay down on the soft and smooth mattress.

and even though she was almost raped, and potentially murdered, the one thing that stuck in her head was sanzu. sanzu haruchiyo.

and she swore to find him tomorrow before she fell into a deep slumber.

#bonten #bonten tokyorev #sanzu haruchiyo #tokyo manji gang #tokyo revengers #tokyo revengers kokonoi #toman sanzu #toman gang

[neerasrealm]

Nathan’s Arrival

HIIIIIII did anyone order a jeffverse fanfic?? no?? well too bad, you’re getting it anyway. Also this contains a LOT of other people’s characters. Dally and Grease belong to @t3chnomancer-lich, Nine, Stat and Praline belong to @carnalhaus and Blondie belongs to @consensual-castration (tumblr let me tag people challenge) Anyway, enjoy! Word Count: 2333

The room smelled funny. Musty, iron-y. Like...blood. At least he associated the smell with blood. He moved his head, a quiet groan escaping him. Ugh. where even was he? The surface around him was hard, and the floor felt uncomfortable under him. At the very least, his headache from the night before was gone. His eyes cracked open slightly. He was in a kitchen. It took him a few moments to realise it was the kitchen. The one he’d raided last night. He glanced to his side, realising with horror the fridge was still wide open too. ‘’Fuck-’’ 

And then the door across from him swung open. His head snapped to the side, staring with wide horrified eyes at the man standing in the doorway. Tall and muscular, Jeff could clearly see his strong arms due to the white wifebeater he was wearing. His black hair was messy and long, tied back in a ponytail. His skin looked burnt, discoloured in places, and his face adorned stitches on either side of his mouth. In an instant, his dark eyes were fixed on the smaller boy sat on the ground before they flicked to the fridge. 

‘’Ey, what the fuck?!’’ he stared at the fridge, as if in shock, before storming over. Jeff skittered backwards, away from the man who heavily reminded him of trailer parks he’d found himself sleeping in. He stopped at the fridge, rummaging around before his head snapped to the boy. He was glaring, angry as all hell. ‘’What the hell is your problem?!’’ 

Jeff flinched. ‘’I-I-’’

‘’You ate my damn jerky?!’’ 

Was- was he...was this guy angry about Jeff eating his beef jerky rather than breaking into his house? He didn’t have much time to think about it or say anything though, because he was abruptly grabbed and yanked up. He yelped, gripping the angry man’s wrist out of panic. ‘’What the hell?! Who the fuck do you think ya are, huh?!’’

‘’P-please I-’’ Jeff glanced around, desperately looking for a way out. God why did he have to put his knife in his backpack instead of his pocket?! His eyes fell on the doorway and they widened. More people were in the doorway! A teenage girl with bleached bangs and a much shorter boy with a...really weird face. But he wasn’t in any position to judge. ‘’Help!’’

‘’Stat what the fuck, are you doing.’’ the girl grunted. The man, apparently called Stat, snapped his head over to her. He snarled.

‘’Bitch ate my jerky!’’

‘’Yeah and you’re bein’ loud as fuck!’’ the girl snapped back. Her head snapped over to Jeff and her eyes narrowed. She strode over, her thick heels clomping against the kitchen tiles. She grabbed Jeff’s face, squeezing his cheeks and shoving her own face in his. He tried to pull away but her sharp acrylic nails dug into his leathery skin instead. She snarled, looking at him with disgust. ‘’Ew.’’ she eventually said. She looked at Stat. ‘’Put him down. He looks like he has a fuckin’ disease.’’

Stat growled and dropped Jeff. Still panicking, his head snapped to the side and he lunged for the window. The girl behind him yelped and snatched him, making a quiet noise that reminded him of a motor revving. She held him aloft with surprising strength and he squirmed in her arms. She suddenly smacked him before dropping him again. He yelped, holding his sore face in his hand, seething. His head panged and instinct seemed to suddenly kick in, making him swing his fist back and try a punch. The girl grabbed his arm and yanked him, sending him stumbling feebly into the counter.

‘’Nice one Lina!’’

He looked over his shoulder, taking in the room again. There were two other ways out. The back door, and the kitchen door which was wide open. He bolted for the kitchen door, past the weird-faced boy. Freedom and safety seemed to be right in his grasp, but then he smacked face first into a wall. With a feeble yelp he fell back, his gaze travelling up slowly. He froze.

That wasn’t a wall. That was a person. A giant as wide as he was tall. Eyes obscured by jet black hair, showing only a slit-mouthed smile. A terrified yell escaped him and he scampered back, whirling to his feet and bolting for the backdoor.

‘’Jesus christ someone gettim!’’ Stat yelled.

‘’Gettim yourself!’’ The girl, presumably named Praline, yelled back. Stat snarled and ran over, grabbing Jeff’s backpack and yanking him to the table. He yelped and thrashed, panicking like a wild animal. His head pounded, the voices filling it again and making him want to kick, punch, scratch, claw, bite- 

‘’What on earth is going on in here?! Stat! Oh dear lord is that a child?!’’ a new voice to add to the people Jeff was trying to identify and differentiate. It was higher pitched, with a southern drawl. Stat huffed, turning his head to the side. Jeff followed his gaze, glancing over at the door where two more people had joined the giant. He didn’t get a good glance at the other as he was distracted by the thinner, blonde man wildly gesturing and pointing at Stat. ‘’What do you think you’re doing?! Let go of him, the poor thing!’’

Stat’s face scrunched up in disgust. ‘’You stay outta this, ya fuckin’ fruit!’’

‘’PFFFT- HAH!’’

‘’Stay out of this Dally!’’ the blonde snapped his head over to the small boy from earlier before turning back to Stat. ‘’Let him go! Right now!’’

‘’Like hell I’m listenin’ ta you! You wanna fight or somethin’?!’’

‘’Stat,’’ another new voice. This one deeper and more relaxed, but still cautious. Jeff looked over at the voice’s owner. He was shorter and his face...half of it was obscured by black hair, and the other half looked horribly burnt. He padded toward Stat. ‘’Let the kid go.’’ he murmured. Stat scrunched his face up. It wasn’t until the man-giant crossed the kitchen and set a gigantic hand on Stat’s shoulder that he let go, shooting Jeff an unhappy look. Finally free from the angry trucker’s grasp, he sat up, looking around in fear. It was then he noticed something. All of them had...scars. Some similar to his own. Burns and a slit mouth. He blinked to make sure he wasn’t imagining it. ‘’You okay there?’’ The half-burnt man’s voice made Jeff turn to him. He crawled back on the table, trying to put distance between himself and him. ‘’Did Stat hurt ya?’’

He paused for a moment. No, no he...hadn’t really been hurt. Stat was rough but- it would bruise at worst. He palmed at his face where he’d been smacked. ‘’...t-the girl hit me.’’ he finally mumbled. 

The half-burnt man seemed to study Jeff for a moment before turning to the blonde. ‘’Blondie,’’ he said. ‘’Can ya take him to your room? Away from the others.’’

‘’Of course,’’ Blondie turned to Jeff, smiling kindly. He held out a hand. ‘’Come on dear, let's get you away from these brutes, hm?’’ he shot a glare at Stat, who rolled his eyes. Deciding he’d rather be with the friendly southerner with the girly nickname than the angry truck park resident, Jeff clambered off the table and followed him out of the kitchen. He glanced around the house as they walked. It seemed big- that was the reason he’d even broken in here in the first place. The house was big, and big houses meant rich people, and rich people meant plenty of food. Blondie led him to a bedroom. As he stepped inside he looked around. 

The bedroom seemed cozy. A nice rug on the floor, vinyls on a shelf, ornate furniture. It seemed homey. Comfortable. ‘’Here we are,’’ Blondie murmured behind him. ‘’I’m terribly sorry about all the hassle in the kitchen- but you’ll be safer here.’’ he shook his head, muttering to himself. Jeff hesitated, then slowly walked over to a wall and leaned against it. Close enough to the door but still casual enough for it to look like he was relaxing. Sort of. Blondie walked past him and took a seat on the bed. Jeff glanced around. The room looked...harmless. No sign of weapons. Of course, there were objects that could be repurposed into weapons. The plastic flamingo on the bedside table looked particularly threatening.

Blondie looked him over for a few moments. Jeff shifted. He looked a mess and he knew it. Long black hair flying out every which way, scruffy stolen clothes, a black backpack that was torn and stained with mud and blood, not to mention his skin...leathery and white, scarred with a permanent smile. Blondie tilted his head, smiling kindly. ‘’What’s your name dear? If you don’t mind telling me.’’

Jeff stared back for a second. Names. He didn’t give his name away, not in situations like these. Too risky. Police knew his name. He wanted to get out of the house, preferably without killing anyone. Could he even fight his way out? With so many people? 

‘’...Nathan.’’ 

‘’Nathan! Wonderful to meet you dear,’’ Blondie held out a hand to him. ‘’I’m Blondie.’’’ he smiled. Jeff- or rather, Nathan, reached over and shook his hand. He looked at Blondie for a moment. He had scars on his face- he’d been too panicked to really give them more than a glance before, but now he could see that and they were faded to an extent. Two lines running up from either corner of his mouth and another running across the bridge of his nose, along with a couple others. Nathan’s eyes lingered on the scars on Blondie’s cheeks for a few moments too long. Long enough for Blondie to notice. He didn’t seem offended though. Instead he tilted his head. ‘’Would it...be okay for me to ask you a couple of questions, Nathan?’’

He hesitated for a second, then nodded. Blondie smiled. ‘’Good. For a start...how old are you?’’

He shrugged. ‘’...sixteen.’’

‘’Sixteen...’’ Blondie seemed to ponder on his age for a moment. Nathan shifted. He didn’t exactly look it- with his face mutilated and burnt, not to mention he didn’t exactly eat properly, so he hadn’t grown as tall as he probably should’ve. He looked away. ‘’And...where did you come from?’’

He glanced at Blondie. ‘’What do you mean?’’

Blondie furrowed his brows. ‘’What...made you come here?’’

Made him come here? What did that mean-? Nothing had...made him come there but- thinking about it...the past few weeks had been- weird. He kept going in a certain direction. Something in him wanted him to get somewhere. But that feeling, that need to keep moving was...gone. Replaced with a...weird contentment. ‘’I-I dunno…’’ he looked away. ‘’I mean I- I did break in because I wanted food…’’ he licked his dry lips, feeling slightly guilty. 

Blondie nodded, smiling kindly once more. It reassured Nathan slightly. ‘’That’s fine. You don’t have a home, do you?’’

He blinked, surprised by how blunt he was. Then nodded. ‘’No- no not really…’’ he shrugged. He looked at Blondie for a long moment. Something about this house felt- weird. Not a bad weird but...thinking about it now, Stat had been burnt, with scars on either side of his mouth. The giant monster that had scared the shit out of him earlier had the same scars he and Blondie did. Was that all a coincidence? That everyone here had the same scars as him? He opened his mouth, about to ask- what exactly he was going to ask he didn’t know but- either way he was interrupted by the door behind him opening. 

‘’We okay in here?’’ Nathan actually jumped in surprise. His head whipped around, staring at the half-burnt man from before with wide eyes. He relaxed a bit and gave a small nod, leaning against the wall again. The other man walked past him and sat on the bed beside Blondie. ‘’You got a name?’’

‘’N-Nathan.’’

He nodded. ‘’I’m Grease. Sorry about earlier. It’s nothing personal.’’ 

‘’Honestly- I don’t know why we still keep Stat around when he’s such a- such a ruffian!’’ 

Grease rolled his eye. Clearly he had heard this a few times too many. Instead he focused on Nathan. ‘’So, Nathan…’’ he looked him over for a long few moments. ‘’Can I ask ya something?’’

‘’Sure.’’

Grease shifted before he spoke again. ‘’Ya got Jeffery anywhere in your name?’’

Nathan froze. His muscles tensed, his eyes filling with fear. They knew. Or at least- Grease knew. He recognised him- he must have! He gulped. ‘’Li-Listen I-’’ he pursed his lips. ‘’I-I do okay but- listen I don’t wanna hurt anyone I-!’’ a feeble whimper escaped him. ‘’...please don’t call the cops…’’ 

Blondie frowned, sad at the boy’s panic. Grease shook his head. ‘’We’re not gonna do that.’’ he looked at Nathan. He was...reassuring, in an odd way. Fatherly. ‘’Promise.’’ Nathan gave a small nod, relaxing a bit. ‘’My name’s Jeff Bartosz,’’ he pointed at Blondie. ‘’Jeffery Devereaux.’’ 

Nathan paused. ‘’I-I’m...Jeff Woods. Nathan’s my middle name.’’ he frowned. ‘’Can I- uh- ask something…?’’

‘’Shoot.’’

‘’...where am I?’’ something was up. The same name? Similar scars and burns? ‘’Is this like...a cult or…?’’

Grease shook his head, smiling a bit. ‘’Not a cult, no,’’ he looked at Nathan for a long bit. ‘’...how about I explain that later, huh? You look like you could use some food first.’’

‘’And perhaps tea,’’ Blondie suggested. ‘’If you like it of course.’’

Nathan cracked a small smile and nodded. ‘’That- that’d be really good-’’ he slowly slipped his hands into his pockets. ‘’...thanks.’’

‘’Of course dear,’’ Blondie stood up and crossed the room. He paused at the door, looking at him. ‘’Do you like chai?’’

‘’Never had it.’’

Blondie chuckled. ‘’Well then I’ll introduce you, hm?’’ 

Nathan gave a small nod. ‘’...yeah. I’d like that.’’

#jeffverse #N-Jeff #jeff the killer #jeffery woods #jeffery nathan woods #Nine jeff #<- too lazy to tag every jeff im using this one for clout #creepypasta #creepypasta fanfic #creepypasta fanfiction #writing #my writing

[pedropascalispunkkkk]

Articulations

warnings: 18+, oral (f receiving), cheating but (not rly), sex in the commanders quarters, smutty smut smut, uh steamy shower, self orgasm denial (sorta not rly)

credit: accidental inspiration of the body shots scene in this piece was from the lovely @velvetmel0n ‘s poe dameron fic!

AFAB READER (if y’all would be interested in a non-binary or amab one lemme know)

word count: almost 8K!

content: subordinate lieutenant y/n, Commander Poe, Rose, Rey, and Finn all become friends with shy y/n, uh ya ya no spoilers it’s rly cute I’m happy with how it turned out (except tumblr formatting 😐)

y’all im so so so tired because tumblr removed all my edits so this is what u get. i think it’s pretty cute, a little heart wrenching, but mostly just UGH poe is so so cuteeee

anyways this was way to freakin long and i spent too much time on it TF

He was sitting with his friends, eating dinner after their surveillance shift. That was my shift, too, but to be honest I never felt confident enough to invite myself, nor was I invited to go sit with them, their clique. So, I sat from afar, alone at a corner table, watching. Watching Poe, jealous. Jealous of his friends -I had none really- and of his status. I didn’t even have a roommate assigned to me. So I watched.

With all this watching, everyday after my shift, I began to notice certain, uh- things. The way Poe very meticulously ate his fruit, seemingly making it his only mission in the moment. The first time I saw him, really watched him dig into a piece of jorgan, I was shocked to feel that familiar tingle at the base of my stomach. It was shameful really. I had made it a subconscious point to watch him every night. It wasn’t on purpose, my gaze always seemed to fix on him right when he dug into his food.

Today was almost no different. Almost. Trying to hide in the corner made no difference. I watched as Poe tantalized a piece of damn fruit, his tongue wiping up the juices that dripped down his wrist. I bit my lip without thinking, and then, he looked up. At me. And smiled. His charming sparkle washed over me, but only seconds later, so did my shame. A deep red flushed my face as I stumbled to gather myself. I speed-walked out of the cafeteria, feeling Poe’s eyes watching, following.

Walking as quickly as I could, I made my way to the showers in the pilots’-quarters. I wasn’t thinking, I was just trying to get away from Poe, and a cold shower sounded like the right thing at the moment. So, in my haste, I forgot both a change of clothes, and my towel. Finally, shedding my clothes in a little pile like a second skin, I forced myself under the cold water. I shivered in shock at the temperature and shuddered. It was fresh, cool, as opposed to the warm, sticky feeling that pooled in my stomach, but still freezing. A little gasp escaped my throat at the feeling,

“Colder than you thought?” A humorous voice chorused from the door. I was frozen in place. I only knew that voice over comms. It did not belong in my shower. Particularly when I had left it behind in the cafeteria. Only a thin plastic curtain blocked my figure from Poe, now.

“Com-m-mander!” I shuddered through the cold. Trying to gather my voice, I spoke again, clearer now. “Black Leader, what can I uh, do for you?” He just chuckled, then reached past the curtain to shut off the cold water. He pulled his hand away, and when it came back, it had a fresh t-shirt and a towel.

“Noticed you forgot these.” His voice chuckled through his words, as though he found this whole thing extremely amusing. “You seemed like you were in a rush, lieutenant.”

“Thank you, sir. Uh, can you step out, so I can uh, change?” I was still freezing, and I would take a t-shirt over nothing anytime. I listened as the stall door shut, and stepped out with a breath of relief. A shuffle outside the door caught my notice. Was he waiting for me? I pulled on the discarded bra and underclothes that, much to my dismay, I realized Poe must’ve seen when he stepped in. A blush burned my cheeks as I pulled on my old shorts.

“Decent?” Poe’s voice inquired lightly.

“Yes, sir. Thank you, sir.” My voice was formal, polite, everything a subordinate was and should be.

I pulled the door and stepped out, in front of Poe, my hair soaking the shoulders of my shirt. It wasn’t my shirt, was it? No, it must be -oh shit.- It’s Poe’s, huh?

He grinned down at me as I stood, awaiting for further orders from him. It was quiet, the only sound was the inconsistent drip of the water behind me.

“Uh, sir?” I prompted, ignoring the gentle feeling coaxing pleasure into my stomach.

“Hmm? Oh, yeah. You’re free to go,” his voice was laughable. “You’re so, so- ah! Subordinate. You know you don’t have to be so polite, right? We’ve been in the same unit since we started training, and this might be the most we’ve spoken.”

“Yes, sir,” I nod curtly with a flat smile. “Will do.”

He rolled his eyes a little, not annoyed, just in disbelief.

“You can lose the ‘sir’ L/N. Just call me Dameron, or Poe, whatever you want.” He shrugged nonchalantly.

“Yes si-” His brow arched at me. “Dameron.” He smiled, and scuffed my shoulder.

An artificial smile flattened against my mouth, and I turned to go.

“Hey, L/N!” Poe shouted after me, his voice echoing against the linoleum walls. “Come sit with us tomorrow after our shift!” I stop for a second, shocked at the invitation. Then I tried a real smile as I turned back and nodded.

“Will do, Poe.” He smiled at the use of his name, and waved as I went.

The warmth in my stomach begged for relief, and I rushed off to my room. Safe inside, I slid under the covers of my bed, one hand desperately moving below my waistband, and the other pulling the shirt that smelled like Poe up to my face. Smooth cologne, a little like engine grease, vanilla and lavender soap. In my rush into my room, I hadn’t noticed the door hadn’t latched. So it was obvious that I didn’t notice Poe’s breath hitch just outside as he watched me writhe under my hand, moaning out his name. I didn’t notice his face contort when I stopped before I reached climax, despite the burning hole in my stomach. It felt wrong. I wanted him to do it.

Fingering the collar of Poe’s shirt, I finally glanced over to the door just in time to see it latch. Bolting to my feet, I stumbled to the doorway, watching Poe ducking down the corner at the end of the hall, away from the open door. Had he-? No, no he would’ve said something. Right?

I fell asleep, feeling empty and yearning. I wanted his touch, his hands, his lips on mine. I wanted him to be for me. My thoughts plagued me as I battled for slumber. The next morning, I woke to the shrill sound of the alarm bell, calling for an early shift start from my flight-squad. I groaned as I lurched to my feet. I did not want to deal with the embarrassment that the last night had carried into a new day. Pulling on my flight suit and boots, I clambered out the door to my little room, on my way to the hangar.

Walking into the hangar, I glanced around as General Organa stood before the flight-squad, watching them as the late-arrivals, including Poe and I, gathered. Soon after I arrived, she began assignments and the mission run down.

“I want Ackbar on lead patrol. You take the squad. L/N and Dameron? You’re on lookout. Ackbar will be leading the mission on-planet, and no, Dameron, it isn’t cause you’re late. I need ‘upperclassmen’ as it were, and you and L/N have been here since you were cadets.” Poe had already opened his mouth to argue beside me, but some courage enveloped me, and I elbowed him sharply, knocking the wind out of him. He whirled over to look at me, and almost spoke, but something stopped him. He just blushed a deep red and turned back to face the General and nod.

As soon as she released us, I jogged over to my fighter. I didn’t want to be face-to-face with Poe right now, especially because I was almost sure he had seen, or at least heard what I had been doing last night.

The launch was relatively smooth, and it wasn’t long before our little fleet had reached the little woodland planet our informant was on. Watching with jealousy as the rest of the squad began landing sequence, Poe and I just stayed within orbit of the planet.

“Black Leader, this is Black Leader 2, come in.” Ackbar spoke over the comms.

“This is Black Leader. Engaging the double channel comms.” Poe had created two channels, one for Ackbar’s team, and one for he and I. The connection between ours was too weak for regular signaling.

“Copy.”

“Red 2, come in Red 2. This is Black Leader.” Poe spoke now, his voice crackling gently into my ears.

“This is Red 2, copy Black Leader.” Awkward silence filled the comms as I watched my colleagues’ fighters land one by one on the planet. Tiny little stars filled my eyes, and it wasn’t long before I forgot Poe’s presence.

“Y/N.” His voice jolted me upright in my chair.

“Black Leader?”

“Who’s black leader? I don’t know him. Sounds handsome, though.” I rolled my eyes.

“Poe.”

“Ah much better. Uh, listen, I just, uh,” His voice was stuttered now, awkward. “I wanted to tell you that-” My heart beat heavy in my chest when he spoke, but a small incoming ship pulled me away.

“Black Leader! There’s another ship pulling into orbit. Check your tracker.”

“Shit, that’s Imperial.” Poe muttered into the earpiece. “Stay sharp, okay? I’m gonna channel Ackbar and pull him out.”

“Copy.”

“Ackbar, this is Black leader 1. Do you copy?”

“I copy, black leader.”

“Good. Get our people out of there. There are imperial ships pulling into the atmosphere as we speak.”

It wasn’t long before the x-wings had pulled off planet before the firing started. It was a race against imperial transport ships, and ultimately, our little fighters were faster than theirs. We sped back to base, and fortunately, Ackbar was able to obtain the information from the informant.

Jumping from my fighter, a big smile plastered on my face and still giddy with adrenaline, I walked over to Poe.

“Hiya.” He looked at me funnily, like I was saying the last thing he expected.

“Hey?”

“What, you don't expect me to be friendly? You told me to be, Commander.” He just frowned a little.

“It wasn’t some- some command y/n. I just... “ His voice trailed off a bit. “I just wanted to get closer with you? I dunno, it’s dumb.” My hand instinctively flew to his arm to reassure him, against my better judgement.

“It’s not dumb, Poe.” He smiled sadly at me, glancing down at my touch slightly.

“Hey, what were you gonna say earlier? Before those imps came?” I asked inquisitively.

“Oh. Oh! That. It’s nothing, don’t worry about it. Let’s just get some food in ya. I think we’re all going to the cantina tonight? Last shift of the week! You down?” And every part of me wanted to say no, but a small part gripped my voice and said, “Yeah, I’d like that. Thanks Poe. Just, give me a minute. Gonna shower.” Noticing the look that settled over his face when I mentioned my shower, I smiled quietly to myself.

I watched the steam spill out of the shower and soften the air. Stripping off my flight suit and boots, I reached my base layer, which consisted of my pajama shorts, and- oh. Poe’s shirt. I bunched the soft black cotton up to my face and breathed deeply. To my disliking, it smelled mostly like me, my perfume. Discarding the shirt and pants, I stepped into the warm shower, inviting the hot water to pour down my body and wash away the day.

The cantina was warm and busy, a stark contrast to the cold rain that had settled over the base outside. I scanned the room, landing on Poe waving me over. I did my best to ignore the heat rising in my face. The squad looked up at me with fleeting confusion. Poe shrugged them off and walked me to the bar.

“A beer?” He asked, his eyes scanning my face.

“Nah,” I shook my head, “Shots.” He grinned down at me, and waved over the bartender.

While he ordered our drinks, I looked over the cantina, making note of the girls eyeing me jealously, and couldn’t help but laugh a little at that. It wasn’t unknown to me that Poe was some hot shit on base. Every girl in our unit fawned over him, including me I guess. My attention was directed away from their glares when Poe bumped my arm with his elbow. He offered me a salted slice of lime and my shot, and I downed it quickly. Liquid courage, right?

His eyes didn’t leave mine as he took his shot, which was why I saw when the idea popped in his head. Mischief smeared across his face, he wiggled his eyebrows.

“What about the next round, on me.” I sputtered a bit, not giving him the satisfaction of laughing at his joke.

“Body shots? Really, Poe?” He grinned again, eyeing me. “Fine.” I was not about to wimp out now. And it helped already having a bit of a buzz.

I watched as he reached for my wrist, his intention clear. The bar was suddenly a lot louder, the crash of conversation and music filling my ears. He pulled my wrist up to his mouth, his grip firm, but gentle. And then, he licked a warm, long stripe across my skin. Shivers ran up my spine. He salted the surface, and licked it again, his tongue lingering for longer than necessary. He downed his shot wordlessly, and offered the lime wedge up to my mouth.

“Bite.”

I obliged, holding the lime in my mouth as he leaned in for it. Our tongues bumped, lips scraping as he pulled away, the lime wedge in his mouth now. It would have almost been a sultry moment if it had been with anyone but Poe. But when he pulled away, he smiled, the lime peel covering his teeth in a goofy smile. Despite the pit of anticipation in my stomach, I couldn’t help but laugh. Oh, shit. It was my turn now, huh? Okay, nothing to lose, right?

I pulled him a little closer, and my eyes landed on his collarbone underneath his shirt. Undoing the few buttons that ended at his chest, I avoided any eye contact with him as my pulse quickened.

Licking a quick stripe over the crook of his collarbone, I salted the area and risked a glance up at his face. To my surprise, his pupils were dilated, watching closely as I licked up the salt. He already had the lime ready in his mouth by the time I drank my shot, and I took my chance, pulling his face close, and running my tongue over the lime wedge, and past it. My tongue ran over the edge of his lip, over his teeth for a moment, before I bit at the lime and withdrew from his mouth. It was a bit funny to see his mouth parted in a daze, his eyes half shut for a moment, and then he snapped back to consciousness.

“y/n,” He spoke with mock-discipline in his voice, “I am your superior officer!” But his facade was ruined by a hiccup and we busted up laughing, gasping for breath and tears running down my face.

My breath caught in my throat when his hand landed on the flat of my back, pulling me close. I could smell the alcohol on him, and his eyes fluttered over my face. Then, he leaned in, and whispered in my ear. I could feel his lips glimpse my skin as he spoke, the warmth running down my spine.

“C’mon, I wanna show you something.” I nodded.

His hands wrapped around mine, he towed me past the girls glaring me down, and out of the cantina. We kept walking, the soft patter of rain drenching us, until we reached the little peak past the woods that surrounded the base. He tugged me up the hill, and we reached a small cliff looking over the river. He fell to the muddy ground, patting the spot beside him. The sun was just going down, settling through the cold mist and hitting the rain clouds with beams of fragmented light. Shit, this couldn’t have been better if he planned it.

“What were you trying to tell me earlier, Poe?” I said, as I settled into the soil beside him.

It was quiet for a minute as I studied his face, watching for anything. Finally he spoke.

“I- I heard you last night. Well, no that’s not really all. I kinda, uh- saw you.” His hands traced circles over my fingertips nervously, head bowed. “Not on purpose! I was just coming to give you a heads-up about the mission. But, your door was open, so I-” I don’t know what spurred the interruption on my behalf, but I grabbed his face gently, looking into those warm, starry eyes, and his lips crashed against mine. The glimpses of romance in my life hadn’t compared to what I had felt so distantly for Poe. All of the tension from all my time with him had piled up into these past few days, and I needed him. He felt it, and I retreated into his arms after pulling away to breathe, my head resting against his chest.

“You know, I’m not sure what gave it away, but I think you have a crush on me, y/n.” I smacked his chest lightly, and shook my head. But all joking had left my mind.

“Poe.” I looked up into his eyes now, pleading. “I need you.” His surprise was quiet as his head whirled to look at me better. I grabbed his hand and started to guide it down my waist, when he pulled away.

“Not here.” His voice was hoarse and strained, and I felt my core squeeze. Listening to his voice was like taking a nap in the sun. He rose abruptly, and his hand enveloped mine as we rushed back to base. It was a bit of a blur until we reached his quarters, just a hallway away from mine seeing as our squad shared a building. As the doors opened, they revealed a much larger version of my own quarters. Blank walls, but plants lined every windowsill, and it smelled like a mixture of sweet lavender soap, coffee, and some scent that was just Poe. The only light was the last bit of sunlight shining through the parted curtains, shadowing the room.

His soft hands guided me through the darkness, and landed me on a soft bed, a plush blanket and throw pillows at my back. He disappeared for a second, the darkness of the room absorbing him. He reappeared at the base of my body, his hands hovering over my waist. I grabbed his hands and pulled them onto my skin. Maker, he was so soft. My hands left his and ran through his hair, locked in his curls. His hands dropped below my waist band now, yanking my pants away from my body. Arching my back in anticipation, I pulled lightly on his curls, and the moan that left him only fueled my pleasure. He pulled his head out of my hands, staring down at my exposed base, then looking back up at my face. Eventually, he hovered his face over my cunt, and I could feel his breath against me. Bucking my hips to try and get the friction I needed, he pulled back. Finally, he flattened his tongue against my slit, moving it slowly over my clit as I gasped at the friction. He grinned, I could feel it as he moved. Begging, pleading, I moaned.

“Poe,” My breath caught, “Faster.”

And as if my word were his command, and not the other way around, he plunged his tongue into me. It seemed like he didn’t need to breathe, his attention on me constant. Panting, I reach down to pull his hand up to my breast. A light pinch hardens my nipple, and moans escape my mouth in a gentle wave.

Maybe it was the tension of my want for him from the last few days, or maybe it was the alcohol, or maybe he was just that good, but I came. Devastatingly early, and directly into his mouth. He sucked my clit, his tongue still dipping into me.

“One more.”

“Yes, commander.” His title slipped out of my mouth as I released again, and I bit back a scream as he nibbled my clit. He smiled into my fluttering cunt that clenched in desire for him.

“Poe. Put it in.” His light gasp as he released himself from his pants drew my attention away from my orgasm. I gazed down, and saw his cock, red and weeping. He didn’t hesitate to stroke it along my folds, brushing my sensitive slit a little too roughly, flipping me onto my stomach as I moaned into his pillow. Then, he slammed into me all the way to his hilt. He was merciless. My slick provided an easy ride as he pumped into me. His shaft was so long that it reached places I didn’t know it could, hitting just right as he sank into me. His breath was ragged as his timing became inconsistent, and his moans were hard to ignore. They sank into my mind as I felt another orgasm blossom in my stomach. He was close too.

“Cum for me- ngh, please.” Poe sobbed into your ear. I obliged, moaning loud and clenching hard around his cock. Waves of pleasure rose from my stomach, and my heart fluttered as I tried to breathe. “Where do you want me to-”

“Inside. Please Poe, please.” His breath caught as he registered what I said. And then he began to pump harder, faster than before. As he released into me, I felt warmth pool at my cunt as his seed spilled out of me. He pressed a sloppy kiss into my neck as he flipped my body back around to look at me. When he pulled out, the absence in my cunt made me moan again into his mouth as he kissed my lips gently.

His warm, dry hands pressed up against bare skin, I shivered. Relaxing into his soft touch, I slid my hand up to caress his cheek. Eyes closed, he leaned into my touch, a little breath leaving his mouth.

Cradling his head in my hands, I pressed a long sweeping kiss onto his forehead, heart beating fast.

He smiled up at me, eyes teary.

“Poe?” I was a little shocked. “Why are you crying?”

“Just… You mean so much more to me than you think.” A watery smile escaped his lips as the tear fell from his eye. “You don’t know how long I’ve been thinking about this, about you. I never thought you would like me the way I like you. Never.”

A little dumbfounded, I gripped his hands tightly as his gaze lilted warmly.

“Poe, you can’t be serious.” He chuckled gently into my neck. “I was so, so- so insecure. I felt like there was no way anyone could actually love me, or look at me romantically. It’s just, you’re this perfect guy- a guy who could basically have anyone he wanted! So why me?”

“Why not you? I feel so drawn to you. And for a while, it felt like I shouldn’t even bother fantasizing about it. I was a commander, your commander. I thought you would feel like you wouldn’t have the option to say no to me.” His eyes were somber, in a trance of serious thought. But a little humor broke through. “And then, I started to notice you watching me. You know, I definitely put on more of a show for you.” A warmth crept up into my cheeks, and I tried to turn my face away so he wouldn’t see. But his calloused -yet soft- hands caught my head and turned my face to his, and smiled, his nose tracing my jawline with caress.

We dozed for a while, falling in and out of the tender embrace of sleep. Poe’s warmth surrounded me, his arms wrapped protectively across my back, pulling me into his bare chest.

I woke for a brief moment, feeling his arms rippled in muscle stretch over me. To feel him, to know him, broke my heart and pieced it back together all at once. The way he completed me terrified me. I felt like I didn’t know I was missing a part until he was there to fill the gap. While the absence of my independence didn’t phase me, it was the fact that I no longer wanted it that paralyzed me. For so long, I had isolated myself from people I didn’t think wanted me. From Poe. And instead of the fear I expected, it filled me with hope. There was so much love, so much feeling out there that I had ostracized myself from that I felt such a burst of need to experience. How was I supposed to know I was wanted if I didn’t start to open up? The walls I had built so painstakingly over the past years since I joined the Alliance were starting to crumble, and I wasn’t scared anymore. I knew I wasn’t doing it because of Poe, I was doing it for him. For me.

When morning came, and the soft light of morning broke through the curtains, I found myself wrapped under a heavy blanket, Poe’s warm gaze fluttering over me. My sleepy eyes adjusted to the light as I blinked up at him, only my eyes showing as I tucked the soft blanket over my chin. He laughed breathlessly, and pulled the blanket down to land a fleeting kiss on my lips. His mouth tasted like alcohol and sex, but he felt so comfortable pressed against my mouth. He moved his lips away from mine, and pressed soft kisses against my cheeks, my forehead, my eyelids, and then onto more indiscrete places. My neck, my collarbones, my shoulders were decorated with his mark, grounded purple bruises smoothed into my skin. Finally pulling away, he laced his fingers in mine as he lay his head over my chest.

“Y’know, I like seeing you wear my clothes.”

“They smell like you.”

“Is that a bad thing?” He joked, tugging at a loose curl on his head with his loose hand.

“No.”

It was quiet for a while before Poe stood, and walked out of my sight. A breath escaped my chest as I stared up at the ceiling. Now I sat up, watching him curiously as he returned with a bundle of cloth in his hand. He offered it to me, a grin on his face.

“Here.” It was a sweatshirt, his sweatshirt. Before I could stop myself, I gathered it up to my face, breathing in his warm scent, and pulled it over my head. He just watched, eyes wide as I slid the fabric over my body.

“Dameron, you would think I was stripping, not dressing, with the way you’re watching me.” He swallowed, and settled on the bed next to me. His head rested on my shoulder as I pulled on the jeans I had worn last night. I shuffled awkwardly, not wanting him to move his head off of me. I liked having him depend on me. For love, for comfort. I felt like I had a purpose outside of myself.

His voice jolted me from my thoughts as he pulled his head off my shoulder, much to my chagrin.

“Feel like some breakfast? If we hurry, we can eat before our shift.”

I groaned, and lurched to my feet, stretching.

“Relax. We’re not going on any mission. It’s a mech day, we’re working on the ships.” I wouldn’t tell him, but those were my least favorite days. No, I wouldn’t tell him. It was an excuse to be with him. My ship never truly needed work, but Poe’s, well Poe’s always needed work.

I nodded up at him, a small smile hovering over my mouth.

He pulled me into his side when we entered the cafeteria, and something about it made me blush. His protectiveness, his possessiveness over me wasn’t something I’d experienced before. It felt as if everyone in the cafeteria stared as we walked in, though in truth I knew we were the last thing on anyone’s mind. It was an early morning, and company was sparse as we shifted through the short line. His fingers left mine to pile food onto our plates. I watched as he deliberately selected steaming chorizo, eggs, tortillas, and potatoes and heaped them onto my plate. I was starving, my appetite only having grown since the previous night’s festivities.

When we reached our table, my usual one in the far corner by the window, Poe pulled my plate toward him, and folded each tortilla around its contents. His brow creased gently in concentration as he worked. Finally, he was done. Obviously very proud of his work, he offered one up to me and smiled innocently. Leaning in, I didn’t bother to take the burrito in my hands, instead taking delicious, steaming bites from his hand, much to his delight. When I had finished, I took another burrito in my hands and began to eat again. He watched tempestuously.

As we ate, the cafe filled with our flight-squad and the mechs. Rose, dragging along an exhausted Finn, and an overly energetic Rey, made her way to our table. I was surprised; she didn’t even question my presence, just shifting Finn into a seat next to me and poking fun at him quietly.

Finn was one of the few people I actually knew. Better than I care to admit. He came from a past I wanted to leave behind, but his kindness and perseverance to be my friend had overcome something he didn’t even know about.

He blinked sleepily over at Poe, then finally noticing you, his eyes shot wide open. He definitely had a less subtle approach than Rose. He looked back and forth between the two of us for a moment before she elbowed him. His eyes finally rested on Poe before raising a quizzical brow.

“Subtle, Finn.” Poe chuckled at his friend’s silliness. I felt a warmth creep into my face, and settled on watching my hands closely while Finn and Poe talked. I was so absorbed in my fingers that when Rey elbowed me, I jumped. She smiled kindly at me, offering me an earbud that emitted a gentle melody. I nodded, and put the earbud in.

The music was soft, toning and crackly. It felt like it soothed the rhythms of my heart to its beat, and my eyes were shut as I let the tender sound wash over me. Rey watched, a little confused, but gladdened by my reaction. Soon, the lively chatter of the cafe pulled me from the magic of the little earbud and I smiled at Rey, genuinely happy for her company. She leaned against my side, and I felt my heart skip a beat. I had done what I said I would do. I was making friends. Poe was watching the interaction, only half-heartedly arguing with Finn rather than his usual bantering. His heart was elsewhere. Finn noticed, it was hard not to.

“You are so screwed.” That jerked Poe’s attention back to Finn’s grinning face. “You’re already falling for her, man.” He spoke hushedly, his words for Poe only.

“I know.” Poe grinned at him like a fool in love, and Finn only groaned in response, shaking his head.

Poe was still watching me, and he knew I had heard all of what was just said. And I knew he knew. But what could I think except that it was true? For me, and for him.

The sharp bell that sounded across the cafe jolted me from my thoughts. In a flash, Poe was at my side, his charming sparkle fluttering over me as he offered me his hand. I took it and smiled at Rey and Finn as Poe and I walked to the Hangar. Rose hung back, promising to catch up.

Poe slung his arm around my waist and gripped my hip in one palm. A shiver shuddered down my spine. He smiled down at me, his eyes half shut, and another shiver ran through me as I looked up at him.

As we reached the hangar, Poe’s soft grip hardened. Concern dotted my eyes, and he shook his head at me.

“Don’t worry about it.” He leaned in and murmured in my ear. “There’s always a little judgement when status mixes.” Brow furrowed, my mind raced trying to figure out what he meant.

“You mean cause you’re a commander?” I leaned my head against his shoulder as General Organa entered the Hangar. “That’s ridiculous. We’ve been in the flight-squad for the same amount of time, we’ve both been trained since we were young. By all means, you should be commander, but I think people forget we have the same experience.” He nodded, and watched as Leia made her way to our squad. It didn’t go unnoticed by her that we were basically glued to each other. She said nothing, but her brow twitched in laughter at Poe’s strong grip on my side. When she dismissed the squad -who had also noticed our new companionship- she held us back.

“Dameron. L/N.”

I nodded, respectfully, while Poe just grinned up at her toothily.

“General.”

“This is… new.” She gestured at your locked hands with a quiet smile on her lips. I ducked my head to hide my blush. When I looked back up, she winked playfully at me. “Just make sure you report your… relationship.” When my confused gaze met hers, she explained.

“It’s the rules when superior officers and lieutenants mix.” She grinned openly now, not bothering to hide her amusement. “You kids have fun with your toys.” She waved us off to work as she turned and walked out of the hangar. Poe wasn’t even trying to hide his joy. I knew Leia’s approval shouldn’t matter to our relationship, but even I felt a slight sense of accomplishment at it.

That pride melted when we got to work. “Accidental” scuffs with the other mechanics, shoulder bumps when they could have just walked around me, and dirty looks dampened my mood, even with Poe working at my side. So much for “making friends.”

By the time lunch rolled around, I was grateful to escape the hangar for a moment and splash my face in the bathroom. Luckily, it was empty for all but Rose. She greeted me with a hesitant cheeriness, and waved as she walked out. The cool water that flushed over my hands energized me enough to meet Poe at the cafe for lunch. But my stomach dropped when I walked in. Another girl, Idra, from the mecha station, was pressing her whole body onto Poe’s, pressing a long kiss over his lips. I didn’t stay long enough to see Poe shove her off of him, the hot tears streaming down my face. No, I didn’t stay long enough to hear Poe’s angry voice shouting at her, nor did I hear his worried cry when he saw me turn my back to the cafe.

The hot tears welled down my face now as I ran to my quarters. Blinded by the blurriness in my eyes, I scrambled to open my door. My blood ran hot to my face, and slamming the door behind me, I slid to the floor, clutching my hands to my chest in an attempt to contain myself. Breathing heavily, and chest heaving, I tried to calm myself. But instead, angry thoughts jammed themselves into my head.

Why had I thought that I was special? He probably just wanted a quick fuck. It’s not like I ever really meant anything to him. I was so stupid to think that he wanted me. Me!

The tears fell down my angry face, pooling at my chin and falling into my lap. Part of me wanted him to knock on my door, explain that it was a misunderstanding, an accident. But another part told me to lock myself away, return to my cold form of communication with him. I had gotten my taste of the forbidden fruit, and it was rotten underneath the golden exterior. Drying my tears, I stood, flattening my shirt of any wrinkles, and wiped the snot that ran off my nose.

A knock at the door startled a sweeping calm into me.

“Y/N? Y/N are you in there? Please, I need to explain, please, open the door.” Poe’s worried voice slid under the door. Forcing a blank stare onto my face, I opened the door.

“Yes, Commander?” My voice was monotone, staring right over his shoulder. I respected myself too much to look him in the eyes. When he moved to embrace me, I stepped out of his reach, an arm shielding my body from him. Gone was the girl who lay with him last night.

His look of confusion was fleeting, and he tried to speak again.

“y/n, I-”

I raised my hand to silence him before he could speak.

“Let’s not make this any more than what it was. A one night stand, a quick fuck, whatever you want to call it, Commander.” My voice was venomous as I spoke, seething with a calm anger. “But please, don’t lead me on to think it was anything more. At least respect me that much.” I walked past him, slamming the door behind me that shattered the stunned silence.

I don’t know how long he stood there before he moved, a silent shell staring at where I used to be. Filled with anger and hurt, Poe finally broke the trance he had been trapped in.

I worked quietly, calmly, I told myself. But I was angry. At Idra, at Poe. He didn show up for the rest of the shift. Nobody asked me about him, and it was probably better that way. Time passed in what felt like moments, and exhausted both emotionally and physically, I made my way back to my quarters, stopping in the hallway. I stood for what felt like hours, but was probably only a few seconds, staring at the door. How could something so short, so sweet, break me so easily? Stirring from my thoughts, I leaned into the door and turned my head, to see Rose looking softly, sadly at me. It was all I could do to smile at her, and nod at my door, the unposed question hanging in the air. She nodded, and followed me in. I curled up into the couch, pulling a blanket over my lap and patting the seat behind me. Rose sat her bags down on the counter and mirrored my position quietly, slipping under the blanket next to me. I knew we weren't close, and I knew I had no right to put her in this position. But still, her soft presence comforted me, and I leaned my head against her shoulder. If she was surprised, she made no movement to show it.

“Rose?”

“Hmm?”

“Can I ask you something?”

“Sure.”

“Why aren’t we friends?” I pulled my head off her shoulder to look her in the eye. She met me easily.

“Aren’t we?” She shook her head, a small smile on her face. “I guess we’re not, huh? I thought you knew. I guess I can’t blame you. You know…” She inhaled deeply, and sighed a soft breath. “You know about me and Finn?”

“I know you two are… involved?”

“You could say that.” She smiled softly. “For a while, and by a while, I mean basically up until this morning, I had thought that- well. I thought that you were after him? I don’t know. I just feel like you two have some connection I don’t understand. Does that make sense?”

Tasting her words, I mulled them over.

“I guess in a way, you’re right.” Her head whirled to look at me. “Not like that!” I grinned toothily at her. Her relief was obvious, and she sighed a little.

“I mean, we do have an odd connection. Finn and I, we go further back than he actually knows.” I breathed in, trying to think of a good way to explain what I meant. “When I was young -very young- I was sold to the First Order by my parents.” The air stilled and was heavy before I continued to speak, Rose resting her hand on my arm. “I was meant to be in Finn’s legion. We were both barely seven, so I never really knew if he remembered me. I’m still not sure if he knows. But I was fortunate, more fortunate than I should’ve been. Leia- General Organa, saved me. I don’t know how, I don’t know why, but she did. I never asked, never wanted to ask. There were a few of us, children she rounded up and took with her. All the others from my legion that she saved, they all- they all died.” Rose stroked my open palm with a gentle hand, trying to assure me without words.

“I like to think that Finn and I were pulled together by the force, if that’s not silly. We honestly never should’ve seen each other again after that, but we did. So, yeah. We have a connection.”

Rose nodded slowly, savoring my words.

“I appreciate you telling me that. You didn’t have to.” I offered her a small smile, my eyes glistening a bit. The day had brought up a lot more emotion than I thought it would. I didn’t expect to go through my past like that today. My hands fiddled with an open seam on my sweatshirt. On Poe’s sweatshirt. Fuck.

Sobs heaved from my chest, taking over my breathing as Rose searched my eyes with concern.

Tears flowed down my face.

“I’m so sorry, y/n! We didn’t have to talk about it-” I waved her off.

“It’s not that, Rose.” I choked out in between sobs. “It’s Poe. I just- I just didn’t think that he would hurt me like that.” She cradled my head against her chest, stroking my hair tenderly. Ugly cries emptied from my chest.

“Oh sweet dove.” I looked up into her kind eyes tearily. “You don’t know?” I shook my head, confused.

“Know- know what?”

“That was Idra’s planning. She was jealous, angry, hurt, whatever you want to call it. She planned it all, sweet dove.” My chest heaved with each breath.

“You mean-?”

“I mean, Poe would never hurt you like that. You left before you saw him push her off, before he gave her a right piece of his mind. He loves you, sweet dove.” Her words offered a clarity I hadn’t experienced. My breathing evened as the words mingled in my mind. But my pulse quickened as I thought back to the awful things I had said to him.

“Rose. We’re friends now, right?”

“I hope so, you just bared your soul to me.”

I beamed up at her, nodding.

“Rose, I need to go talk to Poe. Thank you, really. Thank you.”

She smiled at me. She really was beautiful, and so kind.

After she left, I rushed to clean my face, the runny makeup washed away. I was almost bouncing, adrenaline coursing through my veins as I closed my door behind me.

The comfortable smell of his hoodie calmed my nerves some. Before I knew it, I was in front of Poe’s room. This was where we had our drunken kiss, right in his doorway, where one thing had led to another.

Shaking my head to clear it of those thoughts, I raised my hand to knock, and gently, thudded my fist against the cool metal.

My heart beating out of my chest, I heard shuffling on the other side of the door.

When it swung open, there stood Poe, his eyes red and tired, empty. His eyes widened when he saw me, really saw me. Small tears danced on the waterline of his eyes. Throwing myself into his arms, my own tears drenching his shirt.

“Poe.”

His hands grasped mine gently, tracing up my arms and resting on my face. He drew my eyes into his, not saying anything.

“Poe, I’m sorry.” Such simple words tore into him, his strong arms pulling me tightly against his chest, before he grasped my cheek, and pulled me into a firm kiss. His tongue fluttered into my mouth, brushing mine and searching. Pulling away to breathe, I looked up into his shiny eyes.

“How could I not forgive you?” Searching my eyes for something, he rested his hands on my lower back. “Come in?” I nodded, wanting nothing more than to sink into his grasp and sleep.

His hands, tangled in mine, towed me behind him as he lay me down, on the same bed as the night before.

“Poe, I think I oughta tell you something.” I grinned against mouth when he leaned in. “I think I have a crush on you.”

His breathy chuckle escaped his lips as he slid under the covers into my arms.

His hands slid up my sweatshirt, resting on my rib cage. A small breath left my chest as he traced my skin with a calloused finger. Following the path of his neck, I raveled my fingers into his hair as his head rested on my chest. Breathe in, breathe out. Each breath of him, with him, swelled my lungs with a strong unnamed emotion. His breathing evened into my chest, as mine did too. And slumber that carried with it a soft peace drifted over us.

#sweet poe #poe x reader #sad for a sec but then happy #pining #uhhhhhh #y/n insert #sort of slow burn but not really #love #fanfic #star wars #yes this will have smut #smut #18+ #smutty smut smut

[acrobaticcatfeline]

Logan and His Little Bumble Bee (Single Dads AU) Chapter 4!!!

Word Count: 3643

TW: swearing, deceit, vague mentions of vague trauma, arguments, crying, unconscious projecting, one quick mention of homophobia, roman is a big nervous a lot lmk if I missed anything!!!

Notes: This was out way sooner than I expected. So I made this one revolving around Roman and Dmitri for once, because we don’t get that much and now he has thoughts and things to say!!! Anyways it starts a bit angsty but its really soft and fluffy and I love my baby gays. It’s dialogue heavy this time around, it’s almost as if my writing changes subconsciously depending on which character I am writing. Huh. I hope you enjoy it, I worked my butt off for it. Previous chapter here, first chapter here!

Summary: “you are 15 years old! Absolutely not!!!” Logan is having trouble letting Roman be himself, projecting his own bad experiences on him without realizing it. Roman and Dmitri kiss a lot because they’re really soft and really gay.

“you are 15 years old! Absolutely not!!!”

“dad people in my grade have been dating since they were 10 come on!”

“and they're irresponsible and don’t know better! Roman it is not a good idea-”

“Logan dear be rational; kids are supposed to-”

“NO!”

Everyone paused as Logan screamed. Roman had flinched and Logan winced knowing he caused it, but he couldn’t just stop at this point.

“Roman, dating this young is a bad idea, take it from me. I mean that was when I got together with mercy-”

“you can’t say that like it’s the biggest mistake you’ve made dad!!! Because… because if it was then I would have-I know it ended badly with you and her, but you were still happy at the time! You can’t just keep me from experiencing things because you're scared dad. I'm not you. I-I need to live my own life eventually, and if I don’t know how to then what am I gonna do when I'm an adult?”

“you don’t- Roman that isn't necessary to be happy, I mean look at me and Patton-”

“well maybe I don’t want to pine for someone for 9 years!!! Maybe, maybe I want to live my life now, instead of waiting in fear!!! Maybe I want my happily ever after before I settle down, maybe, for once, I want to live my life without worrying that I'm a disappointment to my parents!!! I know you don’t mean to but you just, you make everything so hard! You-you have so much, so much hope. That I'm going to be this perfect kid and I'm gonna grow up to be amazing, and its exhausting! I want to make a decision without worrying that I'm going to do wrong by you! And then mercy… mercy never saw me for me, and I always had to be perfect for her and she's gone now but I'm just so tired dad! I'm tired of trying to fit inside this perfect box that I think you have for me, I want to be a teenager, I want to date, I want to go to parties, I want to make mistakes and not cry myself to sleep thinking I've made you hate me. It’s so hard to try to make you happy all the time. I want to have a chance to just make me happy.”

Logan stared at Roman. He had been trying so hard to protect him and take care of him, and all he had been doing was overwhelming him. He had never meant to do any of it, Roman was right, but he went back through his brain and it hurt to see that he had unconsciously pushed his son onto a pedestal that was impossible to escape from. He was never disappointed in him, whether he did good or bad or made mistakes, he had always tried to show that he was proud no matter what. He felt tears welling in his eyes and saw Roman twist uncomfortably. He felt Patton's arm wrap around his shoulders, but he couldn’t stay there, his mind was racing too fast. He was catastrophizing he knew, but he couldn’t so easily stop himself. His head was knocked out of the process when Roman ran into his arms, wrapping him in a hug. He let his arms fold around his sons waist, letting a few tears fall.

“I'm sorry, I'm so sorry dad I just- I needed to tell you and I was going to tell you in a nicer way, a better planned way but then this happened and it all came out I'm sorry dad I didn’t mean to make you cry”

“it’s- its fine Ro. I needed to hear that from you. I'm. I'm sorry Ro I didn’t mean it. I try so hard to show that I'm always proud of you, god you have helped me so much and I've never realized that I was making you feel so pressured I'm sorry bee, I’ll try harder, I didn’t know-”

Logan’s head was buried in Roman’s chest, it was the benefit of his son growing taller than him, he could hide his tear stained face out of sight. He sniffed a bit, rubbing his eyes before letting go of him. He smiled widely at Roman.

“I was wrong to have set such impossible standards. It was wrong of me to treat you like I had a second chance at my childhood. I really, just want the best for you but-”

He took a sharp inhale and looked him in the eyes.

“but its your life. And-and if you want, if you want to date. Then, I-I support you completely. Because, because I love you Roman. So so much.”

His eyes teared up again, and he let out a choked laugh while rubbing his eyes clear. Roman smiled at him and hugged him again, thanking him profusely. At that point Virgil walked back inside. He looked at the scene, sending a questioning glance at Patton over the other two. Patton let out a small smile and shook his head, to which Virgil shrugged and went upstairs without a further thought.

 “so, he was fine with it?”

“I mean he wasn’t, but I explained a few things and he's fine with it now. It took a little bit of the harsher truths to be spilled for him to understand my point, and a few tears, but yeah.”

“wow. I haven’t seen… either of you cry in my entire time knowing you.”

“yeah it doesn’t happen often. I think the last time I saw my dad cry was when he told me that mercy wasn’t coming back.”

“geez that’s a long time. And its always baffled me that I've never seen you cry; I've known you since you were 2.”

“yeah, I'm a uh, private crier. I don’t think I've cried in front of people really since I could talk.”

“fuck man how the hell did you manage that?”

“… I mean I don’t remember it, but I think it was a leftover from when I still lived with mercy.”

“what.”

“eh, it doesn’t matter.”

“no wait what? What did she do to you?”

“pfft, I just told you Vee, I don’t remember. I get vague fuzzy feelings that are sorta like if memories were feelings, but otherwise I have no idea.”

“that’s fucked up man”

“meh. Anyways back to the original topic, soooo can I get Dmitri's number?”

“oh my god.”

“oh, and you're at 75 cents.”

“shit.”

“a dollar!”

 Virgil had handed over his number easily, smirking as Roman gave him a hug before dashing into his own room. Roman had immediately sent Dmitri a text, ‘hey, its Roman! Dads way more chill now so I stole your number from Virgil’ and he had responded almost immediately.

‘neat so are we gonna talk about what that was?’

‘I mean, I thought it was p straight forward, but I mean if you think we should?’

‘I mean yeah but’

Radio silence for a minute

‘but like, idk if you want this to be serious or smth like, casual. I mean I don’t care either way’

‘oh! Well something serious sounds nice!’

‘thank god I was not prepared for something casual regardless of what I said’

‘pfft, its fine tough guy’

‘if that nickname sticks you gotta use it around rem, it'll make him bug out’

‘alrighty! Tough guy~’

‘ouch yo chill it with that I'm in public’

‘pfft ur a dork Dee!’

‘I am absolutely not a whale’s penis and I'm offended you would even imply it’

‘oh my god I'm gonna break up with you’

‘nooooo don’t do that I'm too dark and mysterious to be broken up with for that’

‘dark and mysterious my butt! The only dark thing about you is your humor and the only mysterious things about you are your eyes!’

‘babe I have a reputation to keep up!’

‘guess your rep will just have to fit me in there somewhere then!’

‘god you are adorable, I gtg before you somehow make me start uwuing at my family’

‘uwu bye bye mistew dmitwi!!!’

‘god its disgusting kill it with fire’

‘love you too Dee! <3<3<3’

‘<3’

Roman set down his phone afterwards, feeling the butterflies attacking his insides like rabid animals. He changed the tab over to his YouTube and put on his headphones, listening to his curated BTS playlist, starting off with answer: love myself, bopping along and humming. He switched the tab and scrolled through Tumblr smiling at the posts about his favorite superheroes.

 The next week was absolutely blissful for Roman, he alternated between sitting at his table with a few of his acquaintances who he would chat with about his hyperfixations, and with Dmitri and his friends. Virgil had a different lunch hour luckily, otherwise he would have been slightly embarrassed. But hilariously the first day he sat with Dee, his friends were caught off guard as a boy in soft pastels and stonewashed jeans sat beside Dmitri and was immediately nestled underneath his arm. There were words signed across the table and Dee would chuckle and respond which sent their eyes flying to Roman in his seat as he ate his sandwich oblivious to the reason he was being stared at, just sending kind smiles back at them.

When lunch had ended, he had stood on his toes and kissed Dee’s cheek and his friends all had the shocked looks on their faces again. He ran off to class and had forgotten about the whole interaction afterwards. He was only reminded after school through a text from Dee.

‘sorry about my friends at lunch, they're judgmental shits. I told them off but knowing them they might continue to be asshats anyways’

‘huh. Didn’t even notice. I really need to get around to fully learning sign, I have the smallest feeling that if I'm hanging out with you more it might possibly be useful.’

‘meh, if I really need you to know something and I can’t talk I’ll just text you.’

‘mmm but I still want to learn! Anyways what were they saying’

‘oh they were being dicks about your clothes and then they were being shits about me dating you, they're assholes, I only hang out with them cuz coach had everyone learn sign for me and they're the only people I can talk to during the school day’

‘oh, that’s rude! Do you want me to stop hanging out with you at lunch?’

‘no not at all, I just want you to know what you're getting into’

‘mhm!’

The next time Roman sat with them, he had sent about 8 insults to the people around the table while Dee wasn’t looking, essentially ‘fuck off you judgmental homophobic dicks’ and after that the group shut their traps about him and Dee.

 The week after, Dmitri was busy almost always. There was a big game this weekend and he Remy and Virgil were always either practicing, doing schoolwork, or sleeping for the most part. He would send good morning and good night texts but that was mostly it and Roman felt dumb for missing him so much. Virgil invited him to practice after seeing him sitting around staring at his phone like a kicked dog.

He had sat on the bleachers, watching the coach drill them and them playing near their best. They had taken a rest and Dmitri had made his way up to him, a giant bottle of water in hand. He smiled and let out a croaked hello.

“oh, Dmitri when was the last time you spoke?”

He had coughed and held up a 6 on his fingers. Roman pouted and placed a kiss on his chapped lips. Dmitri waved his hand to say it isn't a problem with a smile on his face and it made Roman pout more and kiss him again, wrapping his arms around himself after. Dee ruffled his hair and went to say something when the whistle blew calling them back. He sighed and stood up, signing ‘I love you’ before rushing back to the field. Roman sat in silence, watching them play once again.

 Roman was beaming. The game was today and that meant he would get Dmitri back afterwards along with Remy and Virgil. He was filled with jitters; he knows the team had been working tirelessly for the whole week and he was excited to see his friends kick the rival schools butt! He was rushing Patton out the door again, just like he was a few weeks before but for a separate reason this time.

He wasn’t expecting the time at the game to fly as quick as it did, but here he was. It was nearing the end and they weren’t very far ahead, and the worry was clear on the teams faces. And then Dmitri had the ball! The crowd roared in surprise and excitement as he weaved around the opposition. He got caught near the goal and Roman was on the edge of his seat as Dmitri kicked the ball straight into the goal. The cheers were immediate, the buzzer signaling the end of the game followed a few seconds later. Roman was up and standing at the edge of the guardrail of the bleachers jumping up and down and screaming. He raced down and met Dmitri at the entrance of the showers, looking around before tugging him off towards the underside of the bleachers. He spoke in barely restrained squeals.

“Dee I'm so proud of you!!! Oh, my goodness you did so well!!! I can’t even-”

Dmitri cut him off with a kiss, one that Roman reciprocated immediately, wrapping his arms around his neck and tilting his head as well as he could with the height difference they had when suddenly he wasn’t standing on his own feet but being held in the air from his waist. He broke the kiss with a squeak, placing his hands-on Dmitri's shoulders as he was hoisted in the air by a happy Dee. He squeaked again as he was spun around before being set on the ground. When he was steady again, he looked up at Dmitri with an amused but confused face.

“we did it”

“you did! Had you not processed that yet?”

“not really no.”

“oh, my goodness you are a dork.”

“listen if you had scored the last goal you would be a little stunned too”

“valid however-”

“oh, just shut up and kiss me again you prep”

“gladly”

“ey before you two start making out you might want to go talk to the team? They're sort of wanting to congratulate you, but you disappeared.”

Roman froze in embarrassment at his brother catching them. Dmitri just smirked and turned to face him.

“listen if any of them could get a significant other they would understand. But considering that even you haven’t gotten the nerve to ask out Remy yet, I guess they wouldn’t so I guess I should grace them with my presence, huh babe?”

“hey, fuck off my little brother didn’t need to know I like your brother!”

“oops!”

Roman giggled a bit at the blush that spread across Virgil's face. He nudged Dmitri.

“be nice honeybee. And he's right, I stole you from your festivities! We should head back over; we can be cute later”

“nonsense, that implies that you can stop being cute”

“bluhhhh that’s my brotherrrrr come on you two, be gross later”

 “DMITRI THAT WAS LEGENDARY!!!”

Dee had a cocky look on his face as his teammates congratulated him, Remy running up and tackling in a hug at first sight. He chuckled wordlessly at his brother who was screaming praise at him and then dragging him into the showers. The team followed them in all continuing to shout praise and Roman contemplated following as well. He eventually just went in after about 10 minutes, finding Dmitri surrounded by his team and. He blanched and turned around a corner, hiding his face in his hands. On the other side, Dmitri sat with blue jeans and no shirt, still dripping water from his hair. He took a few big breaths before wandering back over, not trying to push past anyone and just standing where he knew Dmitri could see him. He flushed when Dmitri smiled and winked at him over the heads of his teammates, curling up in his arms and covering his face again. He whispered to himself in his hands

“gosh I'm really gay and he's unfairly pretty”

It wasn’t much longer before the group had filed out, done with the celebration, Virgil given him a nudge as he left. He walked in, seeing Dmitri finally pulling out his shirt, and Roman couldn’t help but turn away with a bit of shyness hitting him again.

“what's up Roman? You good babe?”

“mhm! You just um,”

His mouth felt dry as salt and he was wondering when that happened.

“you look nice…”

“pfft you're a nerd.”

Roman’s mind came up with several scenarios for what could happen as he stood up to kiss him. Of course, all that happened was hands around his waist as Dee leant down to give him an easier time. He still felt fuzzy but ignored it as Dmitri pulled away to put his shirt on, quickly pulling on his leather jacket on afterwards before placing a kiss on Roman’s temple and grabbing his hand.

“come on, I'm stealing you, my folks are treating the team to ice cream and pizza and they’ve been wanting to meet you.”

“wh-what? Wait you talk about me with your parents?”

“Remy sold me out day one, but yeah, they seem genuinely interested in meeting you, so I mean why not?”

“oh. Ok then. I should probably tell my dads first, but I’ll be back!”

He ran up to Logan, wrapping him in a hug before explaining everything to him and Patton. Logan looked unsure but Patton backed him up.

“Lolo, Virgil's going to be there too, and it’s not like he's going to be stranded! Plus, there's a new diner that opened a bit ago that I've been wanting to take you to!”

“…ok. You have your keys and your wallet and your phone, right?”

“yes dad!”

“…ok then. Go have fun. Let me or pat know when you are coming home.”

“ok! See you guys tonight! Love you!!!”

 The party was far more calm than Roman had expected, most of the team dipping early on leaving just him and Virgil as guests. Neither could complain, they had free access to an abundance of pizza and ice cream, and they could spend uninterrupted time with the objects of their affections. Virgil and Remy had absconded upstairs playing games or something while Roman was sitting next to Dmitri and his parents.

“how long have you been dating now?”

“um, 2 weeks!”

“wow! And you two are already attached by the hip huh?”

Roman nodded as his cheeks burned. He felt his boyfriends arm snake around his waist, pulling him closer.

“oh, you two are adorable! We’ll leave you be, don’t have too much fun with him kiddo!”

Roman visibly relaxed as they left, leaning against his boyfriend and letting out a sigh. Dmitri moved his arm up, running his fingers through his hair, grinning at the purr like noise Roman made in response.

“you should stay the night”

“my dad wouldn’t let me do that unless-”

Virgil stormed down the stairs with a lovesick expression.

“Roman we’re staying the night!”

“oh! Does dad-”

“yeah don’t worry its fine they're chill!”

“what happened?”

“I-”

“BOY YOU BETTER GET BACK UP HERE AND KISS ME I'M HAVING KISS WITHDRAWL”

“let’s say me and Remy are a thing now? Gotta go!”

“…about what I was saying…”

“isn't that the best timing huh?”

“oh hush!”

“wanna head to bed? It is pretty late.”

“um, sure. But I wanted to cuddle some more…”

“who said I was gonna stop cuddling you nerd?”

“I? um uh”

“you can share a bed without it being sexual I hope you know.”

“oh! Oh yeah I totally, yeah duh, of course”

“come on babe”

Roman frowned at him rolling his eyes but followed him upstairs. He had walked into his room and grabbed some clothing before filing into the bathroom. When he came back, Roman had to confronts his gay again, as he was shirtless once again and he was talking to him and he's got to focus dammit!

“-so that’s why, also I have various pajamas in there, and I also have shirts that are probably way to big for you in there as well, take your pick.”

“oh um, I was just gonna sleep in this!”

“…yeah no. those jeans are way too form fitting to get away with sleeping in, and your shirt does not look nearly comfortable enough.”

“o-okay then I guess…”

He grabbed a pair of sleep shorts and one of his shirts and headed into the bathroom. When he came back, he immediately launched himself into his boyfriends’ arms. Dmitri giggled seeing the shirt choice, placing a quick kiss on his nose.

“nah you're a sarcastic butterfly”

“shhhhh I'm a sarcastic mothhhh”

“keep tellin yourself that precious”

Roman sputters a bit before giving up and hiding his face in Dee’s chest. Dmitri goes back to playing with Roman’s hair, and Roman leans into the touch. After a bit of time passes, he stops, and nudges Roman fully into bed.

“why’d you stop?”

“because that’s not a comfortable sleep position. Lay down prep, sleep is important.”

“but I don’t want to sleep, I want kisses”

Dmitri rolls his eyes and kisses Roman. By the time he pulls away, Roman has passed out. He laughs quietly and wraps his arms around the smaller boy, letting himself drift off as well.

Taglist: @fivebyfive-finebyfive @tacohippy56900 @analogical-mess @crookedlyoptimisticdestiny @angels-and-dreams @fandomloverangel @asleepybisexual @starbucks-remy @idioticsky @ijustreallylovesanderssides @superwholocked-for-life @band-be-boss-blog @llamaly @logicality-trash @fiive-second-cookies @whats-going-on-kiddos @snowshoe-main-blog @007ardra @internetwhy @musikasworld @Sammy-is-obsessed

Let me know if you want to be tagged in my writing!!!

Thank you for reading I will see you later ladies lords and nonbinary royalty!!!

#roman sanders #logan sanders #patton sanders #virgil sanders #deceit sanders #ts deceit #sympathetic deceit #tw deceit #remy sanders #single dads au #single sanders dads #teen!roman #teen!virgil #teen!remy #teen!deceit #roceit #logicality #sleepxiety #familial logince #familial moxiety #familial royality #familial analogical #familial prinxiety #tw swearing #tw cursing #tw argument #tw crying #my writing #my fanfiction

[pikapeppa]

Abelas/Lavellan smut: Ma’av’in

An older piece that I never posted on Tumblr! 

Ma’av’in: an elvhen term, from @fenxshiral​, that literally means ‘my mouth’, but is also a very personal and slightly sexual endearment meaning “I love and desire you so much that my mouth tastes like yours,” but also “we understand each other on such a personal level that you could talk for me”.

In which Athera Lavellan and Abelas sneak into the kitchen for some cake and run into Solas, who is doing the same thing. Oh, elves with a sweet tooth.

Read on AO3 instead. 

************************

Athera poked her head cautiously into Skyhold’s kitchen. “Hello?” she called softly.

When no one replied, she relaxed and turned to Abelas with a smile. “It’s clear. Everyone’s gone to bed.” She scurried into the kitchen and made a beeline for the large icebox that held the leftover sweets.

Abelas followed her at a more decorous pace. As Athera opened the icebox and poked around, he studied the icebox itself with clear disapproval. “This cooling spell is inefficient,” he said. “The magic is slowly dissipating. It will need to be recast in less than a year.” He frowned at her. “Who was the spellcaster here? Someone on your staff is in dire need of training.”

Athera shot him an exasperated look. “Who cares about the icebox? Look at what’s inside!” She enthusiastically pulled out a platter, then removed its metal lid with a flourish to reveal a selection of bite-sized desserts.

Abelas’s disapproval melted into a tiny smile, and Athera’s cheeks warmed with pleasure at having wiped away his frown. She happily set the platter on the table. “Those cakes I gave you were the first kind of Orlesian dessert I tried when I first started hanging out with humans,” she said eagerly. “They all have funny names.” She pointed to each of the desserts in turn. “This is a macaron. Chocolate-raspberry, it looks like, and this one is… a blackberry macaron, maybe? This cake is called ‘le coup de grâce’. It’s made with a lot of brandy - they’ll actually make you drunk if you eat enough of them. This one is ‘la langue fourchue’ - I think it contains dragonthorn, it’s weirdly spicy - and this one is ‘la belle rose’. It’s made with rosewater. That’s what Josie said, at least.”

Abelas listened carefully as she named the various cakes. Then he selected a small square cake with pink fondant icing and a tiny flower on top.

Athera wilted slightly in disappointment; the cake he’d picked was the same kind she’d given to him when he first arrived at Skyhold. “You don’t want to try something new?” she asked. “You’ve had that kind already.”

He settled his gilded gaze on her face. “I am fond of this kind. They remind me of you.”

The tips of Athera’s ears suddenly felt hot. She bit the inside of her cheek to hide her stupid grin, then selected a rosewater cake for herself. “Well, I guess that’s all right then.” She lifted her cake and gently touched it to his. “Cheers.”

“On’enansal,” he murmured, and Athera smiled and popped the whole cake into her mouth.

Abelas, on the other hand, took a small bite of his cake. Athera covered her full mouth self-consciously while she chewed, feeling boorish compared to her lover’s dignified munching.

He studied the cake as he chewed. “What is the name of this confection?”

Athera swallowed hastily. “It’s called ‘la petite bise’. Leliana said it means ‘the little kiss’.” She leaned back against the table as she watched Abelas enjoy his cake. “It’s named after this weird thing the Orlesians do. They kiss each other on the cheeks as a greeting. They even do it to people they’ve only just met.” She remembered the first time someone had greeted her this way; it was one of Josie’s contacts from Val Royeaux, Madame la Marquise of Something-Or-Other, and Athera was shocked when the woman leaned in to bump her cheekbones against Athera’s face. She was still grateful that her surprise had made her freeze like a rabbit instead of flinching away from the Marquise; she didn’t want to imagine the kind of unintentional offence a flinch would have caused.

Abelas’s gaze slid from the cake back to her face. “The little kiss, you say?”

His eyes dropped to her mouth, and Athera bit her lip coquettishly. “Yes,” she confirmed.

He swallowed his tiny bite of cake, then tilted his head thoughtfully. “I would like a demonstration of this strange custom.”

His face was serious, but his golden eyes were warm and playful, and Athera grinned. “All right,” she said. She took a step closer to him and placed her hands on his shoulders, then lifted herself onto her tiptoes and leaned in to graze his sharp right cheekbone with a kiss.

He turned his head at the last second and met her lips with his own.

Athera smiled against his mouth, then wrapped her arms around his neck as he deepened the kiss. His sculpted lips gently coaxed hers apart, and Athera released a shivery little sigh as he lightly nipped her lower lip with teeth.

His unoccupied hand curved around her waist, then up along her back to pull her flush to his body, and Athera happily pressed herself against his chest. He tasted sweet and fruity, a warm reflection of the cake in his hand, and she shamelessly savoured the smooth feel of his tongue caressing her own, the exciting feel of his hard and muscular thigh sliding between her legs-

“Oh,” a surprised voice said, and Athera sprang away from Abelas as the mild-mannered voice continued. “My apologies. I, er, I did not think anyone else would be here.”

“Solas!” Athera gasped. She covered her burning cheeks with her hands and stared at the apostate in complete mortification. The pinkness of his cheeks was evident even in the warm orange light of the hearthfire, and Athera couldn’t decide if she was more or less horrified to find him looking as embarrassed as she felt.

She glanced up at Abelas, and was further ashamed to see him looking as discomfited as Solas. Desperate to smooth over the awkward moment, she focused on Solas again. “What, er, what brings you to the kitchen?” she stammered.

Solas cleared his throat. “I believe the same thing that brought you here,” he said, then gestured at the platter of desserts on the table. “An insatiable taste for all things sweet.”  

At his words, the thought of Abelas’s sugar-laced tongue in her mouth flashed through her mind, and Athera cringed as her face became even hotter.

Fortunately, Abelas seemed to have recovered his aplomb. Unfortunately, his aplomb was far too polite for Athera’s liking. “Please, join us,” the Sentinel said, then gestured to the platter of sweets.

Solas shot her a quick glance, and Athera’s face and shoulders performed some kind of strange combination of grimace-and-shrug. Solas slowly made his way into the kitchen. “Thank you,” he said with a gracious nod to Abelas, then selected a small cylindrical cake enrobed in dark gray fondant and painted with intricate red curlicues.

Solas took a delicate bite of cake, and Athera watched the two men with increasing discomfort as they ate their cakes in excruciating silence. She twisted her fingers together as she desperately cast around for something to say.

“How about the paint job on that, huh?” she finally said with a nod to the elaborate swirls on Solas’s little cake. “Must take a long time to paint each one. No wonder they’re so expensive.”

“Yes, it is its own form of artistry, is it not?” Solas replied eagerly, clearly relieved that she’d broken the silence. “I must admit that this particular kind is my favourite. Do you happen to recall what it is called?”

Athera narrowed her eyes. “That’s the one with the slightly bitter filling, right? I think it’s called ’le souffle du loup.’ It means ‘breath of the wolf’.”

Solas suddenly went still, and Abelas coughed loudly. Athera turned to him in alarm as he continued to cough into his hand. “Are you okay? You’re not choking, are you?”

“He is fine,” Solas said hastily, then patted the coughing Sentinel on the back in an oddly fraternal manner. “Perhaps I will leave you in peace. It was not my intention to interrupt. Not that you were doing anything that - I mean, that is -”

“No, you stay,” Abelas rasped. “Please. I insist. The Inquisitor and I will go elsewhere. It would not do for us to, er - that is, we will take ourselves to a more private, er…”

Solas’s cheeks reddened further, and Athera wondered wistfully if she could just melt into the floor right now. “Yes, perhaps that would be wise,” Solas replied weakly, and Abelas nodded brusquely before taking her hand and tugging her toward the door.

Athera glanced over her shoulder at her apostate friend. “Sorry,” she squeaked. Then Abelas pulled her out of the kitchen.

The Sentinel whispered a quiet word in Elvhen, and goosebumps ran down Athera’s arms as his fade-cloak spell settled over them both. “Come,” he muttered, and he laced his fingers with hers as he led her back up the stairs.

The further they got from the kitchen, the more her humiliation began to melt into humour. She had to bite her lip to stop herself from laughing as they traversed the Great Hall. By the time she had unlocked the door that led up to her quarters, her shoulders were shaking with suppressed mirth.

She opened the door and let Abelas in before her, then closed the door behind them both and slumped back against the wall, her hands clapped over her mouth to prevent an outburst of glee.

“Dread Wolf take me, that was horrible,” she wheezed. “It’s like being caught in the act by an older brother. Oh gods.” Then she finally broke into a storm of nervous laughter.

A reluctant little smile lifted Abelas’s cheeks as she continued to helplessly laugh. “I can see how it would feel that way,” he murmured. He slowly stepped close and brushed his thumb over her smiling lower lip. “We should be quiet now,” he whispered. “I do not think you want to wake the rest of the castle.”

Her laughter hitched in her throat as his knee brushed against her thighs, and her amusement slowly faded and deepened into the foiled desire that had begun to brew in the kitchen. “Maybe you need to find a way to keep me quiet,” she breathed.

She watched with interest as he inhaled deeply, then smiled more broadly at her. “Veraisa,” he whispered. Then he slanted his mouth over hers.

She parted her lips instantly, granting access to his delicious tongue. He still tasted of fondant, a hint of fruit and sugar, and Athera eagerly suckled his tongue as though to steal his sweetness for herself.

Abelas groaned against her lips and pressed his knee between her legs. She gasped and released his tongue as the hardness of his leg rode against the vee of her thighs, sending a shock of sensation from her groin up to her nipples and throat.

His hands were suddenly cradling her neck, his fingers cupping the back of her skull as he stole her breath with another kiss. Athera wrapped her arms around his lean body, pressing her chest against him and spreading her legs more widely to welcome the muscular bulk of his thigh. He delved his tongue into her mouth, and with every lap of his tongue and every gentle pull of his lips against her own, her desire surged like the eager rising of high tide.

Finally Abelas broke their kiss to gasp against her cheekbone, his fingers still tight in her hair. He breathed hard for a moment, the heat of his lustful breaths sending a delicious shiver down her spine. Abruptly he lifted her chin with his fingers and kissed her hard once more, then knelt at her feet.

A mewl of desperate want escaped her lips, and she slapped her hand over her mouth to stifle herself as Abelas slid his hands under her nightshift and peeled her smallclothes down to her ankles. “If this is your idea for keeping me quiet, I’ll have you know it’s a terrible idea,” she whimpered.

Abelas shot her a quick look, and the intensity of his expression stopped her breath again. “Solas was right,” he told her. “I hunger for something sweet. But it is not some mere shemlen confection that I want.” Without further ado, he gathered the fabric of her cotton shift in his fists and pinned her skirts to the wall, then slicked his tongue between her legs.

Heat and pleasure rippled through her blood at the sleek stroke of his tongue. Athera took a shuddering breath and fisted one hand in her hair, then bit the back of her other hand as Abelas diligently stroked her plump folds with his full lower lip before sliding his tongue over the swollen button of her clit.

Her hot breath ghosted across the back of her hand as Abelas continued to work his talented mouth at the apex of her thighs. The lapping of his tongue was voracious yet tender, very much as though he was savouring a favoured treat, and Athera’s thighs began to tremble with the strain of holding herself upright as he stroked his tongue along the length of her cleft, caressed her clit with his lower lip, drank in every drop of her heated arousal from her exquisitely sensitive folds-

She gasped in a faltering breath, then muffled her pleasure against the back of her hand as Abelas brought her to a scintillating peak. Her fingers were twisted painfully in her hair, her teeth pressing ruthlessly into the skin of her hand, but she was numb to it all, numb to anything but the blissful feel of her lover’s tongue between her legs.

Finally Abelas rose to his feet and wrapped her in a tight embrace, his body hard against her own as he kissed her. His lips held the perfume of her own arousal, tangible and earthy evidence of his carnal devotion, and the familiar musky scent drove her desire to a fever pitch.

Her fingers clutched his arms convulsively; she was internally at war, mired in the dual desires to have him right now and to have him as freely and loudly as she liked. Finally she pushed him away, only to tug him toward the stairs up to her bedroom. “I can’t keep up this quiet thing. Let’s hurry,” she urged.

He huffed with amusement as he followed her hasty steps up the stairs. “I admire your discipline,” he said.

She stopped on the first landing, then pulled her shift over her head and flung it to the floor. She shoved her long dark hair back, then faced him boldly. “Trust me, my discipline is hanging by a thread,” she said bluntly, then turned on her heel and ran up the stairs.

Abelas caught her on the second landing. She gasped as he penned her against the wall, his hands cradling her neck as he pressed his forehead to hers. “As is mine,” he breathed. “I want for you so strongly, and it… it is not enough.”

“What’s not enough?” she asked breathily, her fingers digging into his arms.

“Everything,” he replied instantly. “Every moment. Your skin, your taste, your voice. Every moment we spend together until… until the time comes. It will never be enough.”

Athera closed her eyes to block out the reminder of his eventual departure. She knew ecactly how he felt, and it was so incredibly bitter.

She shook her head, then gently pushed him away. She wrenched open the door to her bedroom, then she strode up the final set of stairs and waited impatiently until Abelas drew level with her. Then she flung herself at him in a storm of longing and lust.

He grabbed her naked body, lifting her and wrapping her legs around his waist. She gripped the back of his neck and stared desperately into his eyes as he walked them toward the bed. “Abelas,” she pleaded. “I… maybe I shouldn’t say this, I don’t want you to think poorly of me, but… You make me want to throw this all away. I can’t do that, I know I can’t, and I know you can’t either. But it’s my imagination, it’s a fantasy or an amazing dream or something, and I just…” She gulped in a breath and stroked his face. “I hope you don’t think less of me. I just-”

“No,” he interrupted. Then Athera’s breath left her in a rush as they tumbled onto the bed, his reassuring weight between her legs.

“I understand how you feel,” Abelas breathed. “I…” He pressed his lips together in a seeming struggle for words. “Ma’av’in,” he finally blurted. “This is the only term I can think of. I do not know the word in your language for this. Just know that I feel as you do.” He stroked her cheekbones with his thumbs. “I see this dream, just as you do.”

A scalding tear wended its way down her cheek, and she gasped in a tiny sob as he wiped it away with his thumb. “No more talking,” she begged. “No more, please. Just…” She trailed off and tugged futilely at his strange ancient armour.

He swiftly responded to her wordless command, sliding off the bed and shedding his armour with practiced ease. When he settled himself between her legs again, Athera didn’t hesitate; hesitation left room for words and heartache, and she couldn’t have that right now.

She reached between his legs and grasped his cock, then slid his length against her cleft to spread her heat across him. Abelas hissed in a sharp breath, his fingers tightening in her hair as he rocked against her slick folds; then, with a quick shifting of his hips, he sheathed himself inside of her.

He moaned longingly against her neck, and Athera mewled in kind, a long and pleading keen of pleasure as she savoured the perfect pressure of his cock. He moved against her in a slow and sinuous thrust and she happily arched into him, her hips a perfect cradle to meet the confident curving of his hips.

Within seconds, she and Abelas were moving together in perfect harmony. His palms were hot against her own as he pressed her hands into the bed, her fingers laced and clenching against his own as she lifted her hips to meet his every careful thrust. Even their breathing was synced: they gasped with need as he withdrew, then burst out an exhale as he tenderly delved back into her heat. His cock was utter bliss, the perfect length of steel to fill her up and stroke the pleasure from her core.

When he began to increase his pace, his fingers tightening in her own and his face twisting with rapture, Athera eagerly met and matched him, the hardness of his thrusts wringing her nerves beautifully raw. “Kiss me when you come,” she begged. “Abelas, please-”

“Yes,” he gasped, his hips pistoning into her with passionate zeal until he finally groaned and captured her mouth in a ferocious kiss. He thrust his tongue into her mouth while thrusting his cock as deep as he could reach, and Athera wrapped her arms around his neck, clinging tightly to his lean muscled shoulders as he shuddered in completion in her arms.

He pressed his cheek to hers as he grew still, but his fingers remained clenched between her own, and an overwhelming burst of tenderness bloomed in her chest as he braised the pointed line of her ear with gentle kisses. This perfection couldn’t last, and she knew it; they were doomed to end, and that fate was far too close for her liking. But this ancient warrior filled her heart as readily as his cock filled her body, and she was suddenly desperate to tell him so.

I love you, she thought with a heartwrenching burst of longing. She wanted to say it, it was on the tip of her tongue, but she couldn’t shake the sense that saying it would only hurt them more.

Then Abelas spoke against her ear. “Ma’av’in, ma vhenan,” he whispered. “I cannot explain it better than this, but I promise you, I feel as you do.”

Athera swallowed hard, then hugged him closer. He might as well have been reading her mind. “Okay,” she whispered. “I’ll take your word for it.”

#abelas #abelas fic #abelas/lavellan #abelas x lavellan #abellan #abelas smut #pikapeppa writes #pikapeppa reminisces :(

[beca-mitchell]

Hang in there kiddo. I'm sorry you're feeling low. Things that helped me recover from serious depression include - changing what I ate, changing who I spent time with, exercise (a simple walk in the park each day), learning how to assert myself and how to say no, listening to music that was uplifting, meditation. Mind your breathing. Take all the time you need to get yourself right, this shit is important. Good luck.

thanks for the kind message. I recently just made a sharp change in who I’m choosing to spend time with, which additionally is paired up with learning how to assert myself and how to say no. 

So, I guess, little baby steps huh?

I’m still figuring out how to navigate this space - particularly in fandom - because I lost faith and trust in somebody that meant a lot to me. But it wasn’t a sudden thing - something that built up over time and I guess I’m still dealing with figuring out how to be around that kind of behaviour. And that’s me being as kind as I possibly can and being conscious of this public space and my own influence here.

Thanks again, though. You don’t know how much it means to occasionally come back to Tumblr just because somebody has sent me a funny post or a meme and to see a message or two waiting.

#nice things #Anonymous #ask

[quirrrky]

gardenia

secret lovers (tumblr thread | fanfiction.net)

Chronological One-Shots / Blank Period / Pre-Last / Canon Compliant

After the Fourth Shinobi War, Naruto was gradually falling in love with Hinata and the whole village of Konoha knows it…Well, aside from him.

entry thirteen

Prompt: It's his 18th birthday and a time to visit certain people.

/gardenia/ a dainty, white flower; a message of secret love

"Happy Birthday!"

"Thank you." Naruto said, rubbing the back of his head.

It was becoming a normal trend for his life now. He had been receiving a lot of presents from different people he never really knew.

When he was still Naruto the homeless demon-child or whatever, no one really even paid any attention to him. Ha! He was even an omen that must be avoided.

Before, shop owners would kick him out of their stores, saying that he was bringing bad luck to their profit.

Now, he got free stuff from them and they would even ask him to frequent their stores.

Before, the passersby and the bystanders would distance themselves away from him and would tell him just as how awful he was, a demon, a nuisance, society's basic garbage.

Now, they looked at him with such admiration. They even asked for his signature, and to have a photo with him. He was now being hailed as a hero, an inspiration and a role model for everyone to look up to.

Things drastically changed for him and the village ever since the war ended. And it was not that the he was being such a brat about his current status in their village, sincerely, Naruto was thankful above everything else.

He didn't condemn how the village saw him before from what he was presently. Instead, he saw those as stepping stones. They taught him humility, they taught him how it felt to be at the lowest ring of the society, that he never wanted anyone to ever experience what he had.

Whatever he was right now was all because of the trials, hardships and uphill mountains he had to face.

When he was still an annoying little boy, he thought that gaining the village's respect, was his ultimate goal-that it would make him feel fulfilled. And he already achieved that, even without being a Hokage. On top of that he was seen as a hero. It wasn't even part of his dream, but he exceeded the expectations.

Thankful. Yes, he was sincerely thankful.

However, amidst all the piled-up gifts and the prestige recognition, he was still Naruto and nothing really changed. His world still felt like a shallow sea, his home still didn't feel like a home and his heart was still half-filled.

Standing before the entrance of his apartment, he leaned on the door and exhaled heavily. He never desired solitude as much as how he did at this moment.

"Naruto," a voice came from the outside.

"Thank God! Someone I knew - ttebayo!" He hurriedly opened the door and saw his pale teammate.

"Well, since it's your birthday, I've been tasked to fetch you. We're going to your ramen place. "

As expected, he jumped and down in excitement. It had been a while. Kakashi-sensei was too busy being the "coy" Hokage, Sakura-chan was running around stuff at the hospital and Sai was always out on missions.

In no time, probably due to his excitement as well, they reached Ichiraku's. There he saw his team-the nearest thing he knew of family and he couldn't help but feel happy. Yamato-sensei was already seated, Sakura-chan was whispering something to Kakashi-sensei and there's a cake on top of the table.

"Woah! Is that cake for me?"

"Who else Naruto? " Sakura remarked in her usual bullying tone, but gladness was evident on her face. "Happy Birthday, idiot!"

"Happy Birthday Naruto!" The rest greeted as he expressed just how much he appreciated everything.

They caught up with each other as they waited for their bowls to be prepared. Talking about how busy yet boring their current routines had become and laughing off Naruto's perception about being a Hokage.

He still didn't get the cruel part yet. Kakashi thought to himself.

"Gahh! All the missions I was getting was fixing these darn paperworks in your office, Kakashi-hokage-sensei." Naruto complained that made the silver-haired man a bit embarrassed and waved-off,

"It's not really official yet."

"Eh? Oh kami, here we go again with this. You're still saying that Kakashi-sensei, although your face is already carved on the mountain." Sakura remarked with a sigh.

Sai, who had been contemplating all this time finally spoke, "Oh! Is Hina-"

Their pink-haired teammate immediately nudged him and went to whisper, "Still on a mission."

"Oh I see. I see. That's too bad." Sai acknowledged as Kakashi-sensei nodded in agreement.

With a tilted head, Naruto was about to ask what's going on until Teuchi broke in and announced, serving the blonde an extravagant bowl of ramen,

"For my favorite customer… There you go, my boy. A celebratory ramen for your 18th birthday!"

Naruto's mouth quickly watered at the sight of his celebratory ramen. Ribs! It was that especially dipped ribs this time!

"Thank you, ochan! I can't believe this!" He said ecstatically and started to munch down his favorite food.

Ramen, it was the only flavor his tasting palettes ever had when he was still considered a nobody in the village. It was ramen that filled his empty stomach, and he never thought that it would be ramen that will fill his then empty heart.

He ate it everyday, everytime. His heart knew no other food than ramen. Some may say it's irrational, but it was his first taste of ramen that he felt like he was just an ordinary child. It made him feel just like a normal boy, not a demon, not some catastrophe and not a monster. It was ramen, the first real food he actually ever had.

Most importantly, the wonderful memories he made in his life happened with a bowl of ramen. He could still remember the first sip of that warm broth, when he also first met ochan and Ayame-neechan. Then, the bowls he had with the original Team 7, with his comrades, with his newly gained friends and so much more! Naruto didn't have a formal home, but somehow in this ramen stand, his heart belonged.

Whenever he was tired and deflated from a very complicated mission, just the sight and aroma of ramen brought him back to life. That cute yet very tasty chasyu made him forget about the worries in life. Ramen energized him. It made him feel like he's home. How simple-minded of him isn't it? But it was his simplicity and child-heartedness that gave him the courage to smile, even at the toughest of times.

"Wow! I just couldn't believe it. You're 18 already. Who would've thought?" Teuchi said with nostalgic tears forming at the edge of his eyes.

"Ah! You're a young man now, Naruto. Which means…You'd soon be bringing here a girlfriend!" Ayame commented that nearly choked Naruto out.

"W-What the hell are you talking about?" The blonde asked quite weirded out.

Sakura was about to throw in something sharp, but she preferred to shut her mouth up instead, thinking that Naruto might use her as a scapegoat again to dodge the topic.

"Well, you know… You are now known as a hero, isn't it just right that the hero finally gets his princess, huh Naruto?" Ayame teased, to be followed by Teuchi,

"In speaking of princess, where is Hina-"

Sakura abruptly signaled the old man.

Hinata was supposed to go home last night, but due to certain changes, she might get back to the village a little late. Informing the birthday boy that something went quite wrong with the kunoichi's mission, may not be the best one to do, since everything was still under control.

Sakura awkwardly brought back the topic, "Okay, so a princess, huh? Let's just get back to it, Naruto."

The blonde stared at her for a while, keenly scanning her features. His eyes didn't miss every corner of her face, making her a bit uncomfortable and self-conscious.

"Meh, you're so far from being a princess, Sakura-chan."

Cha! You knucklehead! If it wasn't only your birthday, I would've!

Sakura swore. Naruto might be very dear to her, but she was sure as hell that she could destroy his face!

"So Naruto, what type of girls do you usually find attractive, huh? We have a lot of patrons here and you might not know, we could have found the perfect girl for you." Ayame asked slyly.

"Eh!? I just turned 18! What's the connection –ttebayo!?"

Aside from Sai, they all sighed exasperatedly, but the young brunette's spirit never wavered.

"Do you prefer shy girls with long hair and hime bangs? Or how about the timid, and innocent-looking ones with porcelain skin? Perhaps, a girl from a powerful clan? I'm pretty sure we know someone from those categories."

Naruto burped loudly. "Man, that was great! Thanks for that ochan! Now, let's go to the cake!"

They all sighed again, except for Sai who was counting how many of those did he have to watch out for. So far, apart from Sakura who already did thrice, they already sighed twice. Interesting.

Soon enough, the gathering was over. Kakashi-sensei brought Yamato-sensei with him back to the Hokage office to discuss some matters, while Sakura-chan was hurriedly called by someone from the hospital to do some necessary rounds.

Naruto couldn't help but feel thankful for the time they have imparted although he knew their lives were pretty much occupied unlike his. The loss of an arm made him not qualified yet to do his usual missions. Instead, he was stuck with Shikamaru and stack of paperworks.

"You don't seem happy, Naruto." Sai pointed out as they chose to traverse the less-crowded path.

The blonde immediately panicked at his question. He was about to deny, but he couldn't lie to himself.

"Well, the village treats me a lot better now. I supposed that makes me happy? "

"Based on what I've read, you can be thankful but not feel happy at the same time."

Thankful, but not happy? Was that what he was feeling right now?

He just sighed loudly at Sai's sharing, hinting his teammate that he needed to expound the idea.

"Well, it says there that you may truly appreciate everything you've been receiving in life, but you would still feel empty."

Naruto just scoffed. How would being thankful not enough to make you happy? Well, he's happy right? Is he?

"And by happy, what I meant is purely happy."

"Purely happy?"

"Well, yeah. The book came from Sakura, so there's a lot of embarrassing stuff in it. But it stated there, that being purely happy… It makes you feel like your heart is full. Like there's nothing in the world you could ever ask for."

The blonde fell silent for a while. Sai might be miscalculating a lot of things, but he surely hit the bullseye on this one. Naruto always felt that straight-up hollowness from within. He started to realize this when he saw his mom. He might get the success, the respect and the glory, but he still won't be able to piece himself altogether.

Unlike other people, Naruto knew that he couldn't complete himself alone. And that deep inside, he was still missing something else, but he didn't even know how to fill it, because he didn't even know what it was.

"I hope that clear things up."

"Yeah, thanks. It did, a bit. Hmm… by the way, where are the others? "

"Hmmm… I believe that Team 10 with Kiba and Shino just went out for a mission this early morning, while Shikamaru, Hinata-san and Ino are still out on a mission. In speaking of, I should head on to meet Shikamaru, they must return by now." Sai said as he made his way.

"See you around and thanks again!" Naruto bade as he ran off, deliberately choosing to take the empty streets.

Atop the Hokage monument, he went. And finally found peace just on top of his father's head. Like this, he felt so close to him, no wonder why this was his favorite spot after all. Although his birthday signified the end of the war as well, people of Konoha decided to not celebrate it as a festival. This was to honor the death of their loved ones who fell into their demise during the war. Rather, this day was being celebrated in solemnity and peace.

With a deep exhale, he closed his eyes and went Sage Mode, closely feeling his surroundings. It was just a shortwhile before he moved and identified his target.

He roamed the streets in a haste, avoiding the stare and attention of the people that might recognize him and would stop him along the way. He was planning to go somewhere else. It was not because it was his duty, but it was to pay his honor and earnest tribute.

He deactivated his Sage mode as soon as he reached the quiet haven-the sound of the green grass being swayed by the wind was playing like a calming song, matched with the clarity of the tranquil blue skies.

"Hinata," He called out with a humming voice.

"Oh," She looked at him and gave a vibrant smile.

"So I see… flowers." The blonde muttered, looking at the white Lilies as his heart jumped at the sight of it. Out of nowhere, he looked back and forth the white Lilies and Hinata, he didn't know but there's something about it…

"Well, that's one of Neji-niisan's favorite."

"Neji liked flowers?"

Hinata giggled softly and confirmed, "Yes. Secretly, he did." Slight sadness coated her voice, recalling how her Neji-niisan would love to sit at the balcony watching the flowers in their garden as he sipped tea. It was one of the few moments, when Hinata saw the gentleness in his face.

"Well, sorry about that Neji. I didn't know you liked flowers. But even if I did, I still find it weird that I will give you one. I know you will find it odd too -ttebayo."

The timid girl chuckled at his remarks. It felt like Neji-niisan was still with them by the way Naruto-kun talked to him.

"Hey! You know what Neji, Hinata here is super awesome dattebayo! You should see how amazing she is with Taijustu now. I know she is strong since then but I never truly experienced it firsthand until she air-palmed me in the face-"

"Tha-that was an accident, Naruto-kun! I'm sorry, I got carried awa-"

"Nah, don't be sorry, Hinata. Neji here is truly an effective teacher after all. Tsk! How much I would love to kick your as- Anyway, anyway, anyway. Do you know that I've already been inside the Hyuga compound? Damn! You guys didn't tell me that it was that cool there. However the people are a bit creepy, though aside from Hanabi, she was really fun although a bit bratty just like Konohamaru."

Hinata gave a faint laugh at his rumblings. Being with him like this with Neji-niisan, somehow made her feel like he's a part of their family.

They talked some more, with both of them trying as much as possible to infer how Neji would've reacted if he was still with them. It's heart-warming how the tears they poured the last time they've been here were replaced by light-hearted laughter and wishes.

They paused for some air.

Hinata felt deeply grateful and happy. She'd only wish that Neji-niisan already found his peace up above.

Naruto felt like he should be thanking Neji for something more. Not just for laying his life for him as a comrade, but also for something else he still could not fathom. In his head echoed his last words as he died in his arms.

Hinata-sama is willing to die for you…

They sat still in quietness for several minutes. Until, they both felt like it was time for them to go. He helped her get up, holding her hand in the process-she felt the strange electricity that came with it and reflexively pulled away immediately, her fingers started fiddling along the strap of her sling bag.

They stood by the grave, internally bidding him goodbye.

Neji, thank you. It's to you I'm very thankful of and I feel like I owe you more than just my life.

They started walking, wrapped around the peace and the quiet of the memorial park. Naruto kept at glancing Hinata's way, trying to measure her up.

"Uh, Hinata. Today is, uh... Today is… You know what today is right?" He asked her a bit sheepishly.

He felt so selfish to demand Hinata to remember his birthday, when he can even barely remember hers. Well, it was snowy during that evening, so that must be during the Winter.

December! It was December!

Hinata looked at him speculatively and gave out a cute laughter. "About that Naruto-kun… "

He raised his head and looked at her expectantly.

"Today was the day we won the war right?"

The blonde pouted and rubbed his nape, hiding his dismay. 'Yeah, yeah, yeah."

Did she really forget about my-

"I was really supposed to be home last night, but something went a bit wrong with our mission-"

Instinctively, he grabbed her shoulder and examined her dramatically.

"Are you okay? Aren't you hurt? God! I was so stupid! I didn't even consider-"

She reassuringly took his hand away. "Naruto-kun, I'm fine. I'm fine. It's just that Shikamaru-kun and Temari-san had an encounter along the road."

He sighed in relief. Thank god. Thank god.

The shy girl just laughed at him sweetly. They strolled around quite awkwardly for a while, with Hinata waiting for his next words and Naruto trying to figure out a way to stretch time, until he remembered something.

"Oh Hinata!" He said as he took her hand and led her somewhere.

"N-Naruto-kun?"

"I want you to meet them. I'm sure they'll like you dattebayo!"

Them? They'll like me?

She looked at their intertwined hands, remembering that moment during the war. Then her eyes landed on him. She noticed how she almost look up at him now. He got taller and the fit of his orange-collared, white shirt couldn't hide the breadth of his shoulders. He was also starting to lose certain chubs along his jaw.

She blushed.

He looked a bit stronger now than before. He was becoming a man.

She bit the inside of her cheek.

What was she thinking?

However, his tight grip on her hand was making her feel fuzzy. His hand-it was rough and callous, but it was warm and her hand felt so little against his.

They stopped by two graves. She looked at Naruto and he had with him a longing yet genuine smile.

"Touchan, kaachan, I want you to meet Hinata dattebayo!"

Her eyes widened for a short second and she instantaneously bowed down her head.

"Nice to meet you, uh, Minato-san, Kushina-san." She greeted reading the names carved on the stone plates.

Naruto couldn't prevent that light tickles in his chest. How wonderful it would be if his parents were actually alive to meet her?

He was certain that they will both like her. He was so much like his mom, so he was sure that she would greet Hinata ecstatically. She would bombard her with embarrassing questions and she would tell stories about him much to his humiliation. He could imagine his mom squeezing Hinata's cheeks, because she would find it a bit puffed. His dad, although not big on personality, would probably ask him how did he make friends with Hinata and will warmly welcome her.

"Ah, it's Kakashi-sensei's efforts that had their graves in here since touchan was his sensei. We were supposed to visit later, but I cannot wait to show you. Before, I didn't really get to know who my parents were. Now, I'm glad I could get to visit them even just through here."

"Naruto-kun," she murmured his name as few droplets of tears fell from her eyes.

"Anyway!" Naruto segued noticing that he was already making her cry. "See, Hinata here is a bit delicate. She cries easily, but that's just because she's really kind dattebayo!

"Ah, she's a bit quiet and calm just like touchan though, but she's very strong, just so you know. And it was also Hinata who saved me many, many times already. Plus, she was really smart!

"You must try her cooking as well. They are really great! Kaachan, you would definitely love to cook with her!

"She's a bit odd to explain, but if you ever get to meet her cousin, Neji, up there, I'm sure he can tell you how precious she is. So please watch over her, just as how she watched over me. Because Hinata here is always by my side."

He said, glancing down on their joined hands. Just like during the war. In his heart, that moment will always remain symbolical.

Her eyes widened and a blush never left her face, but she regained her stature at an instant.

"Minato-San, Kushina-san, I'm very pleased to have this opportunity with you. N-Naruto-kun grew up as a very strong person and he was getting even stronger everyday. And it wasn't because of his jutsus, it was all because of his spirit to never back down. Thank you for gifting him into this world. For me, he's more than just a hero, but he also became my inspiration. So there's no need to worry, we will be watching over him as well."

Even if Hinata had such a frail and silent voice, her message came vivid to Naruto. And just like before his fight with Neji and practically everytime he was around her, he felt revived, like nothing was ever above him and he can do everything.

A tear escaped his eye and he hurriedly looked away, concealing from the shy girl.

So not cool…

He swiftly wiped it away, letting go of her hand in the process.

Forget about her not remembering his birthday, her enlightenment alone was the best present ever!

They stood in comfort with Hinata trying to picture Naruto having his parents with him- a complete family, all in all a bittersweet dream. Naruto was internally telling his parents stories he was a bit embarrassed to let Hinata hear.

The air softly blew and a fragrant scent came across. His attention was caught by a beautiful white flower, swaying below his kaachan's grave. He watched as it broke from its stem and flew away. With no effort, he caught it. It looked elegant yet simple at the same time and it gave off a very calming scent.

Naruto looked at Hinata, whose attention was still on the graves.

"Hinata," he called out, with his arm a bit stretched, giving her the flower.

Her cheeks were tinted light pink. She flustered, not expecting him to be giving her a flower, asking herself where did he get it from.

"F-For me?"

With eyes pinched closed and a delighted grin etched on his face, he nodded in affirmation.

"T-Thank you, Naruto-kun."

"Well, it's cute… kinda' reminds me of you."

He just grinned at her with that child-like grin.

She looked at him quite dumbfounded as he rubbed his cheek absent-mindedly. "Anyway!, We must get going. You must be hungry, it's getting late -ttebayo!"

He started walking, but she didn't move.

"Naruto-kun," she called him, "I-I well… "

He looked at her a bit puzzled, "What is it Hinata?"

She pulled a brown bag from her sling bag and slightly shoved it onto his chest. With a bowed-down head, she shyly greeted, "Happy Birthday Naruto-kun! I-I didn't forget… I-I was just teasing you, so… "

"Woah! Is that true? You remembered?! Hey… " His reaction turned mopey. "So you were teasing me all this time, huh Hinata! Tsk, I never thought you could be so mean like that. "

"I-I-I-"

"I'm just kidding - ttebayo! So what do we have in here-" He broke the paper bag in excitement and, on the grass, dropped a premium cup ramen. "Wait! Hell no! I can't believe this. Thank you so much Hinata!"

"You're welcome, Naruto-kun and happy birthday again."

Naruto kept on blabbering on how excited he was to try the imported ramen once he gets home. Hinata then offered to place the cup noodles for awhile,

"For safekeeping, Naruto-kun."

He happily obliged. "Let's protect my birthday ramen -ttebayo!"

They both laughed afterwards, while she placed the ramen back inside her sling bag.

The two walked back, enjoying the play of light as the sun began to set.

Before Hinata's eyes, flashed the memories she spent with her Neji-niisan. She couldn't really pull it off without crying. A bold step forward. Just like what he said and she will forever bear that in mind.

On one hand, Neji's last words still bothered Naruto. They said that a person's last words were their dying will. He knew that Neji stated such during the war to remind him of his responsibilities and the many lives he had at the weight of his shoulders. But he somehow felt that there was still something more…

Hinata-sama is willing to die for you…

He looked at her-her face radiating such purity and serenity like the lily on Neji's grave and the white flower she was holding, the one that swayed from his kaachan's grave, which he gave her. He gazed upon her hand.

How would it feel to hold it again?

Impulsively, he held her hand.

She gasped and suddenly looked at him.

He gulped at the sudden realization of what he just did.

"Well, uh, I just remembered the-the chakra transfer thing we did during the war and… I" He closed his eyes and composed himself, "I just want to know how it feels like again, since I was so focused to fight against Obito and Madara, I didn't really get to-"

"It's okay, Naruto-kun."

She calmed her beating heart and he was trying to figure out what he was doing.

"Na-Naruto-kun has… Back then, you have a very warm chakra. Even just by holding your hand like this it still feels…comforting."

He was quite taken aback by her, but soon a smile came across his face, "Same here, Hinata."

Naruto confidently walked beside her, recalling everything that transpired that afternoon and it was like there's nothing he could ever ask for.

The fog filled their views and they all gathered around for a Yakiniku. Tenten was solo in calming down Lee and Gai-sensei as she internally cursed Neji for leaving her alone in handling the two. Shino, with Shikamaru and Choji, was busy catching up with their former senseis. On one hand, Naruto was bickering with Kiba from their height up to how frequent they take a bath.

On a little spot at the corner of the room, was Sai sketching something or maybe someone.

"Hey, Sakura." Ino called out her friend in a whispering manner and pointed out her finger on Hinata, who was seated across Sai. "Has someone else been seeing Hinata lately?"

"Huh? What do you mean?"

"Look at Sai's drawing and just look at her closely. She's holding a flower."

The pink-haired kunoichi's eyes widened as she saw the girl in question holding a beautiful white flower, while her dainty little fingers marvel its petals. Her eyes and smile showed tenderness and fondness.

"Being a florist myself, I knew what that flower means, Sakura. It's…" She came near her ear and whispered.

Suddenly, Sakura felt a bit nervous and sad at the same time. She looked back and forth at Naruto and Hinata with worried eyes. She turned into Ino and she knew that they were both getting the same hint…

They definitely need to act before it's too late.

#naruhina #naruhina fanfiction #fanfiction #naruto #hinata hyuga #the title is the flower guyth #slquikynovelist

[loghainmactir]

just you and i; repost edition

title: two last wardens  series: just you and i (1/?) relationships: male warden/loghain mac tir, male warden/alistair theirin characters: padril mahariel, alistair theirin words: 1.4k summary: The Landsmeet is only a day away, and the stress is beginning to wear at Mahariel. After disappearing into the crowds of Denerim, a friend comes to console him. notes: Hi y’all! Because of tumblr’s brand new hatred of posts with links, I’m just reposting the full fic chapters here. They’ll still be on AO3, but I’ll no longer be only updating JUST AO3. Anyway, here it is!

They had arrived in Denerim a little after midday. With foreheads glistening under the bright afternoon sun, they headed to the estate in the centre of the Market. Still dirtied and bloody from their travels, they're treated to a lunch much bigger and luxurious than they’d had in years. Two impossibly large birds sat at either end of the table, vegetables plated around them. Padril hadn’t seen that amount of food all together in one spot before in his life, and he ate little. He swore if he swallowed anything, it’d just come back up again.

Escorted through the estate by Eamon, they made themselves comfortable where-ever they were told to. After a whole year on the road, sleeping with moth-eaten blankets and weather-worn tents, wearing the same set of armour every day- it was difficult to adjust. The Arl's estate was so wildly different to what they’d gotten used to that it was jarring.

As soon as everyone was looking elsewhere, Padril escaped outside.

They’d been to Denerim a few times before for the odd job or necessary purchase. Nothing that ever required more than a day’s stay, but the experiences made the crowds less overwhelming. Regardless, he kept Eamon’s estate within eyesight the entire time. He imagined it was all too easy to lose one single elf in this city; if anyone really needed him, they’d find him easily.

Padril settled at a stall run by an elderly human woman. She was hunched over and covered in wolf furs to protect her from the chilly Ferelden wind, her grey hair tied back in a tight bun. Her little wooden table was full of hand-made scented candles and soaps and incense. If she ever turned her nose up at his pointed ears and the vallaslin on his skin, he didn’t notice.

His eyes scanned the table for a moment, and he plucked a bar of cream soap from it. He lifted it to his nose and breathed in; it smelt like honey and vanilla, and he paid three gold extra for it. Well, he was going to die in the next few days, he figured he’d better smell good doing it. Padril turned around, about to pocket the soap, but instead he ran straight into what felt like a big, human-shaped metal wall.

They caught his elbow as he stumbled backwards, and a light chuckle came from them– oh, it was Alistair. He hadn’t removed his armour– then again, neither had Padril– and it made him look bigger than he already was. Alistair was tall and soft under all that metal. Good for hugs. But running into him like that kinda stung.

For the first time in a longest time, there was a warm smile on Alistair’s face. “Hey there, bud,” He greeted. “Preparing for the Landsmeet?”

A smirk played on his face. As much as he had come out to avoid the Landsmeet discussion, Alistair was one of his best friends. So Padril offered the bar to him. “Yeah, actually. Thought you could use it! You’re the worst smelling shem I’ve ever met!”

Alistair laughed and took the bar– his face crinkled as he smelt it and he tossed it back to him with a shake of his head. “I’m much more of a, uh, lavender kinda guy.” He admitted. “Uh—if you’re not busy right now, d’you– um, want to go talk?” Padril gave a sharp nod, and he followed him out of the market, hit the main streets of Denerim.

The streets were full of people; refugees from the blight were everywhere. Bleeding and crying in the alleyways, sleeping on steps, begging for copper at the corners. It was hard to move, and it took almost thirty minutes just to walk to the docks. Padril kept his hand on his coin-purse the entire trip.

They settled on the end of one of the wooden piers. Padril pried off his leather boots and let his feet dangle to the water underneath. Alistair sat a little back, made sure his metal boots didn't get wet. The sun was warm, and the water was bright blue and sparkling. For everything that was happening and was about to happen– it was beautiful. As beautiful as a city like Denerim could be, anyway.

For a few moments they sat in a comfortable silence, staring out at the Amaranthine Ocean. It was then that Alistair cleared his throat. “So... it’s tomorrow. Are you nervous?”

A hollow laugh escaped Padril’s throat. “I don’t know how we’re gonna do this. The Landsmeet— it’s full of nobles who’ve known Loghain their whole life. Or, almost. What have we done to earn their trust? For all they know, we’re the traitors.”

“Funnily enough, when you left that’s what Eamon talked about. He says there’s some who aren’t too sure about him. Like we can convince them we’re worth listening to, that the Blight is the real threat here.” Alistair scowled for a second as silence fell over them again. His voice grew grave. “We can do it. We have to. For Cailan. For Duncan. They need justice.”

As sure as Alistair sounded, Padril wasn’t quite there. “I’m so tired of everything.” He sighed heavily. “I want it to be over.” A thick arm wrapped around him, and suddenly, Padril was leaning into it— it was grounding, comforting.

“We can do this,” He repeated. “I mean, really, look at what we’ve survived so far. Zevran’s assassination attempt—“ That made Padril laugh, “The tower, the Anvil. We found Andraste’s ashes, Padril. We did that! What’s one more man to us, huh? That’s all he is.” It was clear he was trying to be reassuring. He was trying so hard— Padril appreciated it. “And afterwards we’ll go to Highever for Duncan, and Orlais for Leliana and Sten’ll go to Par Vollen but we’ll bake him cookies. We’ll have to find Wynne a giant quilted blanket—“ He stopped himself. “We’ll be ok.”

“Eamon will still want you to be king, you know.”

“I know.” He sounded so uncomfortable— Padril felt guilty for even mentioning it. “But they’ll find someone else. I mean, they’ve got to. I— I’d make a horrible king. A terrible one. Really! Could you imagine it? Me, in all those fancy robes? Ick.” Alistair pulled away, then, and gave a shudder. “Morrigan’d never let me live it down. I can hear her mocking me now. And all those meetings they have to attend— nuh-uh. Nope! It’s just… such a bad idea.”

He’d started to ramble. Usually, Padril would’ve listened regardless– but his mind was wandering. The cold seawater splashed against his legs, and he kicked it back.

“They’ll find some poor sod who actually wants it,” Alistair continued. “Like– oh, maybe one of the Couslands. I know they’re, um, few in numbers these days, but I think the youngest and the oldest children are still around. Fergus– the older one, I think?– is meant to be pretty popular. That’s what I’ve heard, anyway–“ He caught himself again, and quickly shut himself up. He could tell he was starting to feel self-conscious, now. It radiated off of him like heat, made the silence enveloping them awkward and uncomfortable.

So the elf nudged him in the ribs with his elbow and offered his most reassuring smile. It was a struggle, but for Alistair, he’d muster it. “I love you, y’know. And so does everyone else. We won’t let anyone rope you into something you don’t wanna do.” He promised.

It got Alistair smiling, at the very least. “I love you too, bud. Y’know, out of everyone it could’ve been– I’m glad I have you here. I dunno if we’d have gotten this far without you.”

Padril couldn’t help it, but he snorted. “Oh, trust me,” He grabbed his boots from where they sat by his side. “Anyone could’ve done this a lot better.” Before he could protest, Padril yanked a spare rag from the pouches at his belt, dried the water from his skin, and pulled on his boots. “C’mon. We better go see who Eamon thinks we should butter up first.”

He offered his hand down to his friend, and Alistair took it. Padril made sure he was a few steps ahead of him, avoiding his eyes. The Landsmeet loomed over his head. And what awaited them if they really did fail? Execution? Loghain would never realize the threat of the Blight in time. It was already too late. The past year would be for nothing, and Ferelden would probably fall. And it’d all be on him.

Creators, Padril thought. Why hadn’t everyone just left me to rot like they had Tamlen?

#loghain mac tir #dragon age #alistair theirin #loghain x warden #just you and i #my writing #long post #just in case for mobile users and the mobile doesn't show up #OC: Padril #ok to reblog

[bulgariansumo]

Galactimato Big Brother Week 2

<<Week 1 | Week 3 >

In the first episode, Emil succeeded his first mission of getting Aiden nominated, but when it came to eliminating his own brother, he was simply outnumbered! How will he explain this betrayal?

--

"It was actually easier than I thought it'd be?" Emil recounted. "I meeean, we're pretty well off already--I don't even know if I'm gonna keep the money I win--and Aiden doesn't really have a steady place to live, sooo, I told Lorie I was thinkin' of that. He seemed to buy it."

--

Week 2 has officially begun with 1 down and 13 remaining!

I made a couple of custom pictures for this week, and since tumblr only allows 10 images per post now, I'm going to describe some of the events in text, like now!

Week 2's HoH contest kicks off with a game of Majority Rules!

In this game, the Houseguests stand in individual booths in the backyard. Benji Baker will ask a question and they must answer it the way they think the rest of the house will respond. Those who answer with the majority advance to the next round; those who don't are eliminated. The last Houseguest remaining becomes the new Head of Household.

Toni wins Head of Household! And now for the nomination ceremony.

--

"Hey Toni, you're a sweet kid, so I know this choice might be rough on ya," Benji reassured, "but don't think too hard about it. Just pick whoever!"

"Oh no, I know exactly who to pick." Toni smiled.

"Oho~ Why don't'cha tell us, then?"

"Okay!" Toni hovered a finger at the crowd. "I pick you," he stopped on Mia, "annnd you!" with a mischievous twinkle in his eye, he pointed at his brother.

"WHAT?" Maxy exploded. "What gives??"

"You ate my chocolate bar!"

"It didn't have your name on it! ...After I took the wrapper off." he admitted.

--

Just as one brotherly conflict resolved, another began! Yet one question still remained...

--

"Why Miaaa?" Roxie hugged the freckled nominee.

Toni folded his hands behind his back. "I don't not like her... but she won against me in the cutest freckles contest!"

"The what?" Higgy quirked an eyebrow.

"A tally chart posted in the kitchen earlier this week." explained Jun. "It's also rigged. I never voted, yet there's 13 tallies."

"Whoa, huh??" reacted Emil.

"I couldn't choose, so I never voted either!" Roxie chimed in.

"Until now, I didn't know it even existed." Higgy folded his arms. "Who set it up, anyway?"

Angelo made eye-contact with Emil. "I th-thought I saw..."

"Who did you see, Angie?" Leon asked his brother.

With all eyes on him, he lost confidence. "No one... Nevermind."

"Should I pick someone else?" wondered Toni.

"Sorry kiddo, no do-overs!" Benji cut in. "On with the show!"

--

The second veto challenge begins. Toni, as HoH, and Maxy and Mia, as nominees, compete along with Angelo, Nicky, and Mai, who were also selected to play.

Cutthroat Christmas is the name of the game, a Christmas-themed curling competition where the player whose puck is furthest from the center gets eliminated. Eliminated contestants get to choose a prize, including the Power of Veto, but it can be taken by the next contestant who gets eliminated. Whoever holds the PoV at the end of the game wins it.

Maxy won the Power of Veto, but Mai would like to have it on record that she won the actual curling challenge, despite not taking the PoV for herself.

--

"I'm gonna use the veto on myself!" Maxy didn't wait for the Veto Ceremony to properly begin.

Benji chuckled. "Love the enthusiasm, but you gotta state why you need to be saved first."

"Does it matter if he has the veto?" asked Mia.

"...I guess you're right!" The host shrugged.

Maxy stuck his tongue out at Toni and walked back to the rest.

"You got someone lined up?" asked Benji.

Toni's eyes darted around the floor. "Um, Leon?"

"Me?" He pointed to himself. "Why?"

"Angelo told me about the time you made him give up his arcade tickets. It's not nice!"

"T-Toni? I-I-I didn't mean--!" Angelo sputtered. "That was years ago!"

"Ohhh!" Leon remembered. "Are you still mad about that?"

"What? I-I could never--! Toni, please! I-I don't want him to go!"

"Oh. Sorry." Toni looked pitiful. "Can I pick someone else?"

"Nope!" answered Benji.

--

Through many misunderstandings along the way, the final stage for Week 2 was set! Another star will fall from the Celestion-5 crew. The question is, will America keep its sights on Mia, or will Leon be the new target? Stick around for the voting to find out!

The votes have been cast, and America kept true to its original target. What do the houseguests have to say about their decisions?

--

"I-I'm sorry it ended up this way." Angelo couldn't bring himself to look at the camera. "Th-This is all my fault, but I need Big Brother to know I'd never betray him."

"Leon's easy to impress." was Mai's reasoning. "He's a better audience."

Higgy gazed disdainfully to his side. "He lacks rhythm. Even Maxy has that much going on."

Lorenzo sat prim and proper. "Summers has passion for the Interstellar Forces, but Wattson abides by rules more consistently."

The video feed cut from the other contestants' interview rooms back to the front of the house where the host stood.

"You know what time it is!" Benji pointed at the camera. "Time to check in on Emil! How ya doin'?"

Emil exhaled, sitting in his own interview room. "Ange nearly got me back there."

"Ha ha ha! Sharp eyes on that kid. How ya feel about the votes?"

"Sorry Mia," He lowered his head, "but it's what America wanted."

"Another thing." Benji pursed his face. "For someone claimin' to not need money, why are you playin' along?"

"I don't wanna ruin the show!" Emil laughed.

"C'mon, is that it?"

"Wellll. There's a chance I miiight need a new place to stay soon." He lost his smile. "But that's all I can say."

"If ya win the house, you'll have that all set!" Benji explained. "Good luck, kid!"

"Thanks!" Emil winked at the camera. "Catch ya later!"

--

The whims of America have been delivered by Emil's hand. Mia Wattson is a houseguest no more. What does she have to say about this?

--

"I can't really think of anyone I would've won against." Mia shrugged.

"Aww, that's a shame." Benji frowned. "What are your plans now?"

"I can probably get more reading in with less people around."

"Hey!" Benji gave her a hearty slap on the back that nearly knocked her over. "Atta girl, that's the spirit!" He pointed to something off camera. "There's also some people who wanna say goodbye! Last one walked off before anyone could."

Roxie slammed into Mia for a hug. "I'll miss you, Mia!!"

Mia attempted to choke out a thanks.

Leon waved. "If I wasn't also nominated, I probably would've voted to keep you in."

"Thanks."

Toni stepped up shyly, bowing toward Mia. "Just so you know, I voted for you on the freckles thing."

"Really?" She seemed surprised. "You didn't have to."

"I really think yours are cuter! Anyway, I'm sorry for picking you. "He bowed to Leon. "You too."

"No big deal!" Leon smiled. "You were just looking out for Angie!"

"I made him really sad, though..."

"Knowing him, he'll forgive you." He reassured. "Just like forgave me! I still kinda owe him for the ticket thing... Thanks for the reminder!"

"Toni," Higgy called, "it's time for dance rehearsal."

"I'll be there!" Toni bowed to everyone. "Sorry, but I have to go. Bye bye, Mia!"

"Good luck, Toni." She smiled. "I voted for you too."

#Galactiquest #Hinimato #ocs #galactimato big brother #bsumodoodles #bsumowriting

[pain-somnia]

A Gift From The Universe [1/?]

I feel silly for never having done this before but I think I’m going to publish chapters of my fics on tumblr as well. Here’s the first chapter of my new Non-Mass AU. Y’all are probably thinking “really? another f*cking non-mass WIP???” at this point. Please enjoy!

Disclaimer: This story will utilize characters and situations that are the copyright of Masashi Kishimoto, Shueisha, Shonen Jump, and Viz Media. ChronicallyChill is in no way associated with the creator or producers of Naruto and no copyright infringement is intended. Obviously this is a fanfic meant solely for the entertainment of the fanfic author and (hopefully) it's readers.

next chapter

Chapter One: Hair

Pink. There was no way it could be real. Sasuke rubbed his eye with his little fist and his eyes narrowed at the short locks of pink hair. Yes, still pink. He blinked his eyes and grumbled inwardly to himself. If it were genjutsu he wouldn't be able to break out of it by himself quite yet.

Sasuke continued to watch the small girl with pale pink hair holding hands with her mother. She hid behind her skirt and her head kept turning in all directions as she was attracted to all sorts of sounds of the other kids at the Academy entrance.

At one point she turned and looked in his direction and Sasuke took a sharp inhale of air as he was met with vivid green eyes. The green reminded him of the forests that he ran in when he played with his older brother. Such an intense green he had never seen before.

And then green eyes were no longer looking at him but back to a group of Academy students that were chasing each other in front of the doors to the building.

"Pretty, huh?"

"What?"

Sasuke looked up and saw his mother smiling down at him, a sort of mischievous smile she gave him sometimes when she knew he was hiding something from her and found it amusing that he even attempted.

"Her hair. Such a beautiful color. Doesn't it remind you of cherry blossoms?" Mikoto asked wistfully, a faraway dreamy expression on her face. "You should talk to her. Tell her that you think her hair is pretty. Maybe you'll make your first new friend."

"I don't think her hair is pretty!" Sasuke blurted out, completely flustered. He puffed his cheeks out in a pout when his mother let out a little tinkle of a laugh at his expense. "It's true! I like hair just like kaa-san's."

Sasuke continued to sulk as he made his way into the building. Every so often he would take a sideways glance out of the corner of his eye to catch a flash of pink.

. .

Sakura. It was completely cliché but it was the type of name he knew his mother would adore. Not that he would tell her the name of the girl with the pink hair. Not unless she asked. Maybe not even then just in case his mother got it in her head that he liked Haruno Sakura.

Gross. Sasuke had better things to do like become a shinobi that could surpass his older brother and to get the acknowledgement he craved from his father.

He tried to tell himself that she was gross, like how all girls are gross, but when Yamanaka Ino becomes her first friend and she smiles more, he starts to get a strange fluttery feeling in his stomach.

I probably ate too many rice balls.

So sure that that was the reason, Sasuke nods to himself and carries on with what he was doing: hiding from Uzumaki Naruto.

His mother and her friend, his Auntie Kushina, had been pregnant around the same time and had hoped their children would be best friends. Sasuke just found him loud and obnoxious.

Sasuke liked Auntie Kushina and didn't understand when people told her Naruto was just like her. Naruto was only seven and he was already arrogant and at times had an entitled attitude, all because he was the son of the Hokage.

He assumed when Naruto displayed his more friendlier side and was kind that he was tolerable. Almost like his cousin Obito.

Sasuke just hoped he wouldn't be stuck with Naruto forever.

. .

Every single time she moved, her hair would sway with her. The movement was miniscule but it distracted Sasuke enough for his eyes to wander away from the blackboard and their lessons.

Sasuke was in the middle of watching the way the sunlight coming in through the windows shined on her hair when she turned around, green eyes on him. She looked at him for merely a second when her attention shifted to the person sitting behind him. She smiled widely and waved.

Sasuke grumbled inwardly to himself, chastising himself for the odd way his heart skipped when their eyes met. Of course she was waving at someone else. Her best friend, the Yamanaka girl, had chosen to sit behind him.

Just like how he had chosen to sit behind Sakura Haruno who always sat in a free seat in the front row, ready to absorb all the information she could.

Sitting next to her would have been too obvious. And sitting next to her meant he couldn't sneak inconspicuous peeks at her. Sasuke could just stare ahead and casually shift his gaze down to see her and the way her hair shined and shifted around her small frame.

Sakura's hair was longer than when he first saw her the day they entered the Academy. There was a small part of him that hoped it had something to do with the unfounded rumor that he liked long hair. That small hope was stamped out when she replied to gossiping girls that she was only growing it out because "Ino-chan is growing her hair out so why not?"

It didn't matter how long any of the other girls' hair was. His eyes were drawn only to pink.

. .

"What is he doing?"

Sasuke didn't bother to acknowledge that his brother was home, something rare for him.

"I'm not sure," Mikoto responded. "He came home and just slumped onto the floor. He's been lying face down ever since."

"That's new."

Sasuke grumbled against the floorboards but made no attempt to move or speak to either his brother or his mother.

Earlier that day when he was finishing up training on his own he found Sakura training in private, Ino and the other girls nowhere in sight. She was attempting to throw shuriken at a target. Her aim was lousy.

Sakura was a smart girl, always getting top marks in their written tests. Whenever their teacher asked a difficult question she had her hand up first, the second the question left the teacher's mouth. Usually she would be the only one that knew the answer.

Although she got top marks academically, when it came to field work she suffered. It looked as if she wasn't even trying at times.

Sasuke noticed that the way she held weapons was off. He only wanted to help. He had wanted to help but instead of being helpful he ended up just shouting at her.

"You're doing it wrong!" He blurted out.

When Sakura just stared at him with wide green eyes he felt his ears and the back of his neck heat up. They looked at each other for a moment, both of their faces flushed with embarrassment. Unable to take the awkwardness anymore, Sasuke bolted.

As soon as he got home, he fell onto the floor hoping to become one with it. If he was part of the floor he wouldn't have to go back to school tomorrow.

"Mikoto," Sasuke heard his father's gruff voice, "why is Sasuke on the floor?"

. .

Sasuke had his face down on his desk when all of the students were shuffling into the classroom. He hadn't wanted to come into school but his mother wasn't fooled by his sick act.

My life is over and I'm only eleven.

Sasuke was trying to become one with his desk when there was a small cough. He tried to will whoever it was that sat next to him away with his mind. He was a desk today, not a person, and refused to take part in any interaction.

A gentle prod on his shoulder forced him to turn his head so he could peer up at the foolish person that was trying to get his attention. At the sight of pink he sat up straighter.

"Good morning."

"Morning," Sasuke replied.

Sakura slid into the seat next to him and unpacked her stuff. As soon as her notebook and pencils were set neatly in front of her she crossed her arms on the desk and turned to face Sasuke.

"Y-yesterday," Sakura cleared her throat and took a deep breath, "yesterday you said that I was 'doing it wrong'."

Sasuke's neck heated up. Did she have to bring that up?

"If I'm doing it wrong I won't get better. Can you show me the right way? After class, that is."

What? That wasn't what Sasuke had expected to happen this morning when he got to class.

He must have been quiet for too long because Sakura's face became a deeper shade of pink and she tried to take back her request.

"Okay."

"Okay?" Sakura's eyes went wide in surprise. "Really?"

"Yeah, I said okay," Sasuke mumbled, tucking the lower part of his face into his high collared shirt."

"Oh! Okay." Sakura beamed and turned to face forward.

It wasn't until Iruka-sensei started the lesson that it really hit Sasuke that Sakura had decided to sit next to him for the day.

He wasn't able to sneak glances at her, but there was a pleasant floral scent on his right side.

It seemed that there was another part of Sakura's hair besides pink that intrigued Sasuke.

next chapter

Notes from Day: so this is the first multichap fic that I’m posting on Tumblr. I hope you guys will enjoy future chapters. I’m going to work on how to organize this fic as best as I can but you can always head over to FF and find my fics there, here’s a link (x).

#AGFTU #a gift from the universe #day!fics #ss fanfiction

[trademarkblue]

2🏰AT

So, Tumblr is my nemesis. I replied to your ask, vulpixchan, and Tumblr ate it! The ask is gone, the post is gone, damn it! There is a chance you have it as a private reply…

Let’s try this again… you had requested fluff, at Hogwarts, in 1997, rated T.

Now. This fic assumes two things - a post-poisoning, post-Lavender breakup timeline, and that Ron has quite a lot of hand/finger dexterity, which… Yeah, let’s assume that… *clears throat*

Hope you enjoy! x

Gryffindor Tower was quiet, at nearly midnight on a Tuesday. Ordinarily, she’d have been tucked up in her bed like the rest of her dorm mates, particularly given her early class the following morning, but Ron was out on Prefect rounds tonight with Anthony Goldstein and-

No. That wasn’t the only reason she was sitting here, on the floor, in front of the fire, past her bedtime. Surely it wasn’t…

She wasn’t just waiting up to see him, alone. She had an actual project to work on. This was important.

Lightly clearing her throat, she aimed her wand at the top of her head and swished.

“Plecto strictus.”

She felt a sharp tug on her scalp, as if someone was pulling her hair backward, and, for a second, she was sure it had worked. She glanced down at the book in front of her, reviewing a moving photo of the back of a girl’s head, her hair swiftly plaiting down her neck and upper back. Feeling optimistic, Hermione reached for her mirror and held it up, turning her head to the side to see-

Wisps of hair danced out in all directions as if suddenly electrified, and then… the whole thing came undone, sadly loosening and leaving only a few stray strands woven together.

“Merlin’s pants-“

The portrait hole swung open, and Ron appeared on the other side, ducking to step through.

“Oh, hey,” he said, as he spotted her, making his way toward her and collapsing into an armchair. “What’re you doing still up?”

“It’s lucky we aren’t given exams on beauty charms,” she sighed, ignoring his question, smoothing her hands over her hair in an unsuccessful attempt to flatten it.

“Huh?” Ron yawned, arching an eyebrow at her. “What d’you need beauty charms for?”

She looked up and caught his eye, watching a light flush creep up his neck, and he cleared his throat awkwardly. Her heart gave a small flutter, which she forced herself to ignore.

“In case you hadn’t noticed, my hair’s a bit… annoying.”

“Annoying? What’re you trying to do to it?” he asked, far too sceptically. Why should he care what she did to her stupid hair?

“Charm it into a plait, but it’s useless.”

“But… you’re perfect at charms.”

“Oh, shut up.” She narrowed her eyes at him, wary that he might be teasing her, but he only shrugged and folded his arms across his chest. “I can’t seem to get this one, and I don’t know if my hair’s just that much of a mess or if I’m not doing it right.”

“This might be a stupid question,” he began, and she was immediately prepared for him to be right about that, judging from his tone, “but could you just do it by hand? Y’know, without magic?”

“There’s too much of it, my hands are too small, and I can’t see what I’m doing…”

There was no way she’d just imagined his brief glance down at his own, much larger hands… but she was obviously delusional to imagine there was any chance this conversation could be going where it seemed like it might be going.

“Yeah, okay,” he said in a suddenly rough voice, as if he hadn’t spoken in a very long time.

She sighed and looked back down at the book in front of her, party to distract herself from imagining Ron’s hands in her hair and partly from genuine frustration that she couldn’t do this. She wasn’t supposed to fail at things. But, in a masochistic sort of way, she thought it made some kind of disappointing sense that she’d be terrible at this type of thing. She’d managed her teeth at fourteen, but, aside from that, she’d never spent time worrying about superficial charms like the ones that filled the pages of the thin, pink book in front of her now.

“I, uh…” Ron started, in that same raspy voice, “don’t reckon you’d want help?”

Her gaze shot back over to him, only to discover his own eyes were cast down to the floor in front of his feet.

“With my hair?” She desperately hoped her voice hadn’t sounded as high pitched to him as it had to her…

“Well, yeah. How difficult is it? I’ve got… much bigger hands than you, if that’s all you need…”

“Have you?” It was literally the most ridiculous question she’d ever asked aloud, and she was tempted to roll her own eyes at herself, but then he was sliding out of his chair and scooting close to her across the rug.

“Yeah, of course.” He held his hand up, palm toward her, and she felt her own hand move before she’d comprehended the signal to do it, from her own brain… which had apparently turned to mush anyway.

She rested her palm against his, fingers extended up his much longer ones. His eyes locked in a hypnotised gaze on their hands, and she watched his neck move as he swallowed. Licking his bottom lip, he bent his top knuckles over the tips of her fingers, further proving the vast difference in size. Her throat constricted, and she hoped he wouldn’t need her to speak a coherent sentence for the next several minutes, at least.

“Should I try?” he asked, giving off the impression that he was having an equally difficult time stringing words together.

She nodded and took her hand away from his to push her book across the rug, between them. He looked down at the moving photographs of charmed plaits, watching them loop a couple of times.

“Maybe I was too optimistic,” he finally smiled, glancing up at her. “This looks bloody complicated.”

“Nevermind,” she smiled back, though she really wished she could edge out that hollow tinge of disappointment. “It’s late, you don’t have to-“

“Nah, let’s give it a go,” he cut in, scratching at his shirt collar, which was hanging slightly open, top two buttons undone, giving her a glimpse of his grey cotton vest underneath. “Least I can make you feel better that you haven’t got the charm yet, yeah?”

Yet. He genuinely had more faith in her than she had in herself. She’d come to this realisation before, but never so intimately, somehow.

“Well. Okay,” she sniffed.

“Turn around.”

It was perfect timing to hide her face, really, because she could feel heat spreading across her cheeks, and, even in the firelight, she imagined he’d be able to see such a deep blush. She turned her back toward him, her legs criss-crossed in front of her, and she waited.

“Right,” he said quietly, as if to himself, and she bit her bottom lip to keep from fully grinning. But then he was scooting closer to her, and his shin touched her arse briefly, before he pulled it back an inch and cleared his throat again.

She was suddenly entirely too focused on her senses of sound and touch to pay any more attention to what her own face was doing…

There was a light swishing noise, and she was confused for a moment before she realised he must be rubbing his hands together. She glanced over her shoulder to watch him, stunned for a moment by how close his face was to her head.

“Sorry,” he said at a near whisper. “Hands were cold.”

“Oh.” She faced forward again and shut her eyes. He’d been warming up his hands… to touch her. How had he even thought about something so- so- She couldn’t find a word, only knowing that it made a chorus of butterflies spring to life in the pit of her stomach.

“Reckon it starts up here,” he contemplated aloud, and then she felt him lightly touch the crown of her head, fingers loosely gathering a small amount of her unruly curls.

If her eyes hadn’t already been closed, she’d certainly have shut them involuntarily at this point.

Aside from the very rare few times Parvati or Ginny had attempted something with her hair, no one, other than her own mother, had ever done this before. And oh, who was she kidding? This was entirely, completely, one hundred percent different anyway.

His fingers combed against her scalp, and he gently began to cross strands, gathering a bit more. As amazing as it felt, he was barely touching her, and her entire head was tingling as her arms broke out in gooseflesh.

“You’ll have to pull it tighter, or it’ll never stay,” she said softly, cracking open her eyes.

“Don’t wanna hurt you.”

“Trust me, you won’t. You should see what I have to do to get the tangles out every morning.”

He laughed lightly, and she thought she could detect a slightly nervous tremor to his exhale.

“Actually,” he said, “could you hold the book?”

His grip tightened slightly, as he transferred her gathered hair to one hand, picking up her book with the other. She reached back and took it from him, holding it open a bit higher than was comfortable, so he could see it over her shoulder.

He continued his work for a few silent seconds, gathering hair from both sides of her head and exposing her neck. She wished she wasn’t distracted from complete focus on what his hands were doing by the fact that her arm was getting a bit tired, hovering in the air.

She shifted the book to her other hand.

“I can prob’ly see it from your lap,” he said, and she was sure he was blushing, the moment he’d thought through what he’d just said.

“Okay.”

If only to relieve her arm, and possibly because she was growing incapable of rational thought, she lowered the book to her lap and leaned ever so slightly backward. He leaned forward at the same moment, and she felt his chest brush her back, his warm breath against her left ear. His hands froze, and her heart was beating so firmly that she irrationally questioned if he could hear it.

“Bugger.” His grip had loosened, and a few thick strands of her hair dropped down to tickle the left side of her neck.

He was so, so close to her, and he crawled his fingers down to her bare, sensitive skin, collecting the hair he’d lost. She could hear his breathing quicken, and her eyes snapped shut again, drowning in the feeling of his fingertips on her neck.

“Shit!”

He’d dropped her hair again. He laughed in an almost giddy sounding way, and she felt her chest bubble up with happiness as she laughed with him.

She was fully grinning, this time, as he swiped her hair back up, away from her neck, and he pulled much tighter as he worked down, finally reaching the base of her skull and pausing. He leaned even further over her shoulder, his chest lightly resting against her upper back, and she was strongly suspecting he was taking advantage of everything about this situation. God, she hoped he was taking advantage…

“What the hell do I do with the ends?”

“Twist them together like you did the rest,” she said softly, “and then I’ve got this.”

She held her arm up, showing him the hair elastic looped around her wrist.

“Ah. Okay.”

He leaned back again, and she shivered, not sure how much she even cared if he’d seen her.

He worked in silence for a few more seconds, and she could barely feel what he was doing as he moved further down, away from her neck.

“Reckon I’m ready for that tie thing.”

She smiled and held up her arm. She could easily have taken it off for him, but sod it. She was in pretty deep as it was…

He held her plait in one hand and reached over her shoulder with his free hand, laying his index and middle fingers flat on her forearm and sliding them forward, under the elastic band, continuing way too slowly over her knuckles, so that he was practically holding her hand from the back for a moment, until he finally tugged the elastic free and retreated.

Her body was literally on fire, surely. And had she always had such sensitive skin? Did he have any idea what he was doing to her? He must have some…

And, honestly… was it possible to die from sexual tension? If so…

He secured the band at the end of her plait… and then, his hands were on her head, covering her scalp. She pressed her own hands firmly down into the rug on either side of her legs, almost choking as she tried to hold back from gasping aloud.

“Seems alright,” he said, in an entirely different voice, low and just a bit slurred, as if he’d taken one too many sips of Firewhisky in the last five minutes.

Very, very slowly, he slid his hands down from her head, over her ears, to either side of her bare neck. If she’d been able to form a single logical thought, she’d have realised there was absolutely no excusable reason for him to touch her the way he was just then.

None, except for the one…

That one she wouldn’t name, because if she ever did, while he was this close to her, she’d lose control completely.

And, as if it hadn’t been enough already, she absolutely was not imagining how much his hands were shaking as he slowly removed them from her neck and backed away from her.

For a few more seconds, she simply calmed her breathing, heavily suspecting he was doing the same thing…

“Alright,” he said, at last. “Have a look.”

She reached for her mirror, held it up… briefly surprised when she caught sight of his obviously flushed face behind her. But as she forced her gaze away from him to her own head, she raised her brows, turning a bit left, then right. Though she couldn’t see the back, she was immediately impressed with what he had done. A few stray strands had come loose, but, overall, it was staying put.

“Wow. That’s… you did really well.”

If she slept very carefully, on her side, maybe she could keep it like this for a couple of days. Contemplating how long she could go before she absolutely had to take a shower, she thought that the only thing that might make her willing to undo what he’d done was the promise that he’d do it again…

“I think I could do it better, next time.”

So… Alright. He could read her mind now.

She lowered her mirror and turned bravely around to face him, actually looking him in the eyes as she smiled.

“Could you?”

“Yeah,” he grinned back. “That was just a practice one.”

“I’ll put it on my schedule next time.”

“Ha.” His grin widened. “Just come get me, y’know, when it gets annoying again.”

“So… tomorrow night?” she teased.

“Reckon I haven’t got any midnight plans. Just don’t spread this around. Don’t want a queue outside my dorm for plaits…”

“You’re saying I’m your only customer?”

“Yeah, it’s a private business.”

She snorted lightly, and he laughed along with her, eyes crinkling at the corners. But as their laughter died, and the low Common Room fire flickered golden against his pale skin, she felt those butterflies return, fluttering furiously. He cleared his throat and looked away, stretching before getting up to stand tall over her. But then he extended his hand down toward her, and she stared at it for too long before realising he meant to help her up. She took his hand, and he pulled her to her feet, letting go again as she gathered her book and mirror and held them against her chest, watching him ruffle his hair.

“Thank you,” she said softly, and he shrugged.

“No problem.”

And she wondered, as they headed toward the stairs, if there were any other charms that she might not be able to do… that he might just have to help her with. She’d have to start a list, prioritised by how strong his excuse would be to touch her again.

She gently felt the ends of her hair as he said goodnight, and she sighed, knowing the truth. Of course she’d been waiting up just for him. And she’d do it again. And again…

#ask #rhr prompt game #prompts #fanfiction #vulpixchan #myfic #tmblue #rhr

[actual-leia-organa]

5 Times He Watched Her Sleep

Hey guys! I wrote another little something for the House fandom, a quick little 5 times fic. Special thanks go to @queenraynajaymes for making me commit to publishing something by the end of January, to @fruit-lupe for always agreeing to read my works whilst still in progress, and a shout out to @geekhappens for inspiring me with her amazing fic - you make me want to be a better writer. 

I’ll also eventually be posting this on my FF.net account, but I also welcome feedback through tumblr!

Title: 5 Times He Watched Her Sleep Fandom: House, MD Summary: 5 times throughout their relationship that House has a chance to observe Cuddy asleep. Definite fluff and some AU. 

First time -

His first thought on waking was that he’d never touched such soft skin in his life.

His second was that a ringing phone was possibly the worst sound to wake up to.

Groaning softly and disentangling himself from the gorgeous undergrad in his bed, he did his best to not wake her whilst making it to the phone before it stopped ringing.

“Hello?” he near whispered into the phone, watching as the lithe figure of Lisa Cuddy rolled over in his bed, burying her face into his pillow and sighing softly.

He was only half listening to the voice on the other end, throwing in the occasional “uh huh” and “yeah” as he observed her in sleep. Her cheeks were flushed a soft pink, her long lashes curled where her eyes were gently closed. Her lips were slightly parted, her breathing soft. Her wild curls were spread around her, and he’d be inclined to describe them as a halo- were he that way inclined.

Suddenly the voice on the other end of the line was demanding, requesting he confirm a meeting with the Dean in… 20 minutes. House swallowed, a heavy weight forming in his gut.

“Sure, sure, I can get there by then.” He shot another look at the girl in his bed, regretful he would have to leave her to wake alone.

Hanging up the phone, he wandering around his room, collecting his clothes from where they’d fallen - or been thrown - the night before, and dressing in silence.

Before he left he ran a hand through her hair, smiling as she leant into his touch. As he pressed a soft kiss to her temple, her eyes softly opened.

“Hey,” her voice was heavy with sleep.

“Hey yourself.” House shot a quick glance at his watch, “I have to go, I have a meeting, but you sleep in, ok? I’ll call you this afternoon”

Cuddy nodded, pressing her face back into his pillow as she slipped back into sleep.

Grabbing a post-it from her desk, House scribbled a quick note:

Cuddy-

I’ll call you, this afternoon.

- H

Second time -

He couldn’t sleep. The pain in his newly mangled leg was like an animal, one with razor sharp teeth and jaws of steel, with a bite he could never escape. The so called ‘experts’, his ‘doctors’, the same ones who dismissed his pain, who missed the dead muscle, who left him a cripple, had started him on Vicodin. It left his thoughts clear but the pain was still there, would always be there, would be with him the rest of his days.

Unlike Stacy.

The thought was like a punch to the gut, even though he knew he’d been the one to not ask for her help, who distanced himself, who pushed her away.

He tossed his head again, trying to find comfort where there was none. Out of the corner of his eye he caught movement as Cuddy adjusted her blanket in her sleep, curled into the armchair Wilson had pushed into his bedroom to watch over him during the worst nights.

Cuddy. He couldn’t believe she had come to him, that she had helped him… that she had stayed. But there she was, curled into the old leather armchair, his afghan haphazardly thrown over her. She’d tied her unruly curls up, which made her look younger, and her eyelashes fluttered with REM sleep.

She’d cared for him all afternoon, coming into his darkened apartment and not letting his depression dampen her ferver. He’d been laid out on the couch, his crutches thrown across the room in a fit of frustration. She’d cleaned around him, doing his laundry and cooking enough food to last a week. She’d brought him the latest medical journals, even some case files, “if you feel up to it.”

She’d stayed for dinner, making sure he ate a decent amount, before offering to help him to bed. He was proud, too proud, but was also pleased when she stepped forward as he stumbled with the crutches. She walked with him to his room, brought him clean pajamas and stepped back, calmly waiting for him to ask for help when he needed. When he looked at her she stepped forward, letting him lean on her, helping him balance, all without a word.

As he pivoted around in bed, laying back against the cool fresh sheets, she pulled his comforter up and he grabbed her wrist, his pain-filled eyes meeting her cool grey gaze.  

“Stay?” his voice was soft, and Cuddy nearly missed the word. He spoke as if ashamed to ask, as if afraid to need.

“Of course I’ll stay,” her smile was gentle, with no pity in her eyes. House thought it was such a change, her just being there, a comforting force, so different to Stacy’s fretting, to Wilson’s frenetic neediness. She was soft, and gentle, and she calmed him despite the pain.

He closed his eyes, but sleep didn’t come. Instead he watched as she curled herself into the chair and pulled the blanket close. One arm fell out towards the bed and he moved across to capture her hand in his. It felt so warm, so right. But he also knew she deserves more, so much more than an angry cripple, and so he was content to watch her slip into a deep peaceful sleep.

Third time -

It’s 3:10pm, and House is taken aback when he storms into Cuddy’s office to find her absent. He’d checked her schedule - both personal and professional - and he fully expected to find her behind her desk, ready to roll her eyes at the procedure he’d burst in to ask for.

A slight snore pulled him back to the present, and he turned to find her stretched out on her couch, head propped against one of the throw cushions. Her mouth was slightly open, and a glass of water sat on the floor beside her- odds are because she’d been feeling ill again.

He gently pushed her legs back and sat beside her, watching her steady breathing. A soft smile appeared as he thought about the past week, and what the future would bring.

She needed the nap, after catching what she wrote off as “just a bug”. House knew better. She hadn’t kept her breakfast down for the past 4 days, and this was the third time he’s caught her napping.

“There’s nothing wrong with you that hasn’t been wrong with women since the beginning of time” had been his cryptic comment a few days earlier, but she’d brushed it off as a House-ism, not seeing the deeper message.

Leaning forward, he brushed a strand of hair from her face, pulling back as she stirred. Her long lashes fluttered before her eyes opened, the striking grey muted from sleep.

“Hey” he softly said, “you feeling ok?”

Cuddy nodded, slowly sitting up, her back propped against the arm of the sofa. “Still just getting over this bug, I’ll be ok”

“Cuddy…”

“It’s just a bug House, people get them. Don’t look for more than this is.”

“Because this is more than a bug, Cuddy! This is… this is big.”

“House…”

“Cuddy” he mocked back at her, making her meet his eyes. “It’s ok to be nervous. It’s ok to be afraid. But don’t pretend this is something else.”

“What do you want me to say, House? That I’m scared to admit this to myself in case it's not true? That I’m afraid I’ll get my hopes up only to lose it again? That I don’t want to say those words, because it's everything I’ve ever wanted?” Her eyes filled with tears at the confession.

“It’s ok Cuddy” House held out his arm, and she curled against him. “I’m nervous, afraid, everything, too. But don’t deny this to yourself.”

His hand gently rubbing her back soothed her back to near sleep, and House released her from his embrace so she could lie back on the couch.

As he pulled himself to a stand and made his way from the office, her sleepy voice brought him to a halt.

“House…” he turned towards her as she half opened her eyes, a smile playing on her lips, “I think I’m pregnant.”

House smiled at her in return. “I think so too. Enjoy your rest, I’ll see you tonight.”

He limped out, being sure to close the blinds as he went.

Fourth time -

House limped in his front door, pushing the door shut with his cane and hoping the resulting noise didn’t disturb Cuddy - she’d said nothing about going back to his place, but her luxury sedan parked outside was a dead giveaway.

He didn’t expect her to still be awake, it was the early hours of the morning, he’d finally solved his case, and was looking forward to spooning behind her and hearing her contented sigh, which he realised as he made it to his bedroom was not going to happen.

Sprawled under the haphazard covers, Cuddy was curled around his pillow, wearing one of his older graphic tees with a hand protectively on her second trimester baby bump.

He sat beside her, smiling as he watched her sleep, softly laying a hand on her ever-expanding stomach and feeling the gentle pressure from within.

He had been afraid, bordering on terrified, when her pregnancy was confirmed.

Afraid that he’d be a terrible father, that he’d follow in his own father’s footsteps and never know how to properly discipline, that Cuddy would finally wake up and realise he was a terrible choice to have a baby with.

But more than anything he was terrified that something would happen to the baby, and Cuddy would again be devastated. She’d been through so much, this was her dream, a baby of her own… a baby with him. And he would move heaven and earth for her, and the baby, to make it through this pregnancy.

She started regularly sleeping at his apartment early in the pregnancy, holding him close when she woke from nightmares of losing the baby. It wasn’t until after the 12 week scan, the line crossed, the simple words “everything looks good” sounding like magic to their ears, that Cuddy relaxed her nighttime hold on him.

But she didn’t stop coming over, hence why he now found her taking up most of her bed, but he couldn't be mad at her. She was so happy, glowing even in sleep. Her hair was back, pulled into a braid, exposing the soft skin of her neck. House lent forward and gently kissed the pulse point near her ear, smiling as she let out a soft moan and turned to him. Her eyes slowly opened, grey meeting blue, as she moved to kiss him.

Pulling away, she took in his appearance. “Solved your case?”

“Yeah,” he pulled back and started to toe off his shoes and socks, “so it would be nice if I could squeeze in there with you and the spawn.”

Cuddy smirked at his choice of endearment, slowly rolling herself back over to her own side. Her smirk became a full smile at the idea of even having her own side in House’s bed.

By the time she’d managed to re-situate herself House had changed into his pajamas and was climbing in next to her, turning onto his side and pulling Cuddy against him.

Pressing a kiss to her hair he heard the gentle sigh that meant she was slipping back into sleep, and he pulled her closer as her breathing slowed and she finally relaxed in his arms.

Fifth time -

A soft murmur came through the baby monitor on the nightstand, causing House to rouse from sleep, reaching across the bed for Cuddy but his hand meeting cold sheets.

“Cuddy?” he raised his head and checked the bathroom, but no light was on.

The noise came through the monitor again, the softest of snores, and House smiled. He knew where she was.

Slowly standing up from the bed, he made his way down the hall without his cane, holding the wall for support. At the second door on the left he turned, pushing the door open to see the room lit by the soft glow of a night light.

In the crib a tiny baby with a headful of dark hair fussed quietly, whilst Cuddy napped in the rocking chair in the corner.

House approached the crib first, laying a gentle hand on the baby’s chest but moving to pick him up when he fussed more, hoping to head it off before the baby started crying and woke his mother.

House gently shushed his son, holding him to his chest and watching Cuddy over the baby’s spiky black hair. She stirred slightly, and House decided he’d give her until the baby was settled before waking her and walking with her back to bed. As tired as she was with a newborn, she deserved a better night’s sleep than in a wooden chair.

She looked more relaxed than she’d been in the last few weeks, in the lead up to the birth and bringing the baby home- she confided in House once they were home that she couldn’t believe it had all happened, and she finally had a baby just down the hall.

The baby squirmed in House’s arms and let out the softest of squeals, but it was enough to cause Cuddy to stir again, her eyes on the verge of opening.

If asked Cuddy would probably say this was the worst she’d looked in a long time, a newborn taking up enough of her day that she was lucky to brush her teeth and hair let alone complete her usual beauty routine, whilst House would proclaim it was the best she’d ever looked, a pink flush to her cheeks and a new shine in her eyes. Just watching her sleep now was proof of that. Her pajamas had a milk stain on them, her hair was a wild mess, she was gently snoring, and House was adoring every inch of her. It was thanks to her he was currently standing with a baby in his arms, his son, something he had given up on long ago.

The baby rooted against his chest and let out another cry, and like that Cuddy was awake.

“House?” she looked up at him, slightly groggy from her quick nap.

“Hey sleepy,” he walked over to her and handed her the baby, “I think someone’s hungry.”

She smiled down at the baby in her arms, running a hand through his whisper soft hair and watching his bright blue eyes take in both his parents.

As she went to feed the baby, House lent in and kissed the top of her head. “I’ll see you back in bed?”

Cuddy nodded, her rapt attention on her precious little Benjamin Cuddy- House.

#this is terrible ignore me #indy writes #house md #house md fic #fanfiction #5 times fic #gregory house #lisa cuddy #fluff ahoy #headcanon #house headcanons

[ccorneliast]

A Heart In Barcelona - Chapter 3: A Carrison Fanfiction

Rating: M Summary: Carrie and Harrison go on a weekend getaway to Barcelona during filming of The Empire Strikes Back in the late seventies. Something happens on that trip that changes their lives forever. Disclaimer: this is a real person fan fiction, so it all definitely came from my imagination and I’m not trying to offend anyone (you know the drill). I did take some creative liberty on what concerns the timeline, so stuff that is mentioned/places they visit may not have existed in the seventies, I apologize in advance; I do use/paraphrase some parts from Carrie’s books, as a way of making it feel more like them.   A/N: Jennifer, my love, this third chapter is for you ( @jennydehavilland ), for your constant love, friendship and excitment over these two. Big thanks to my girls over at the carrison groupchat, y’all are the best. 

On AO3 (tumblr was being stupid so it ate my italics, so i’d recomend reading on AO3 this time!)

I hope you enjoy this new story of mine and don’t forget to reblog and tell me your opinion!

You’d think that an afternoon of such intimacy and years of accumulated tension would be enough for them to keep their hands on each other. Instead, as they make their way to the España Square, Carrie’s eyes rarely meet Harrison’s. Truth be told, it just dawned on the two actors that they rarely had this much time alone as is, and they don’t quite know how to deal with it.

Soon enough, if they weren’t careful, Harrison would start to get annoyed at Carrie’s mood swings and, in turn, she’d begin to resent him for his frustratingly unconcerned demeanor.

They walk side by side, though miles apart psychologically, until they reach it. The square is momentous in itself, it’s huge fountains dominating most of the space. Up above, almost sky high, they could observe the Museu Nacional d'Art de Catalunya, an enormous classical edifice, much too different from Gaudí’s architecture.

Harrison glances at his wrist watch and mumbles: “Maybe we should get something to eat.” She nods.

They walk up the steps (more steps, ugh) until they’re by the bigger, more crowded fountain. Carrie spots some street food and urges Harrison, with little to no words, to follow her lead. They pay for some delicious, though unreasonably priced, meaty sandwiches.

“You wanna sit there?” Harrison’s questions, uninterested.

She does. She sits down on the grass, right in front of the fountain. He sits next to her with some difficulty, for the area’s overflowing with tourists and natives alike.

“Harrison,” she says, but it’s barely audible. She tries again, this time turning her face towards his. “Harrison.”

He continues eating, but nods.

“What was that earlier?” she asks. He keeps chewing, but it’s not a way to divert the attention from the conversation. He doesn’t try to deny it or change the topic. Instead, he says:

“That thing was jam-packed.” He takes another bite. “I couldn’t breathe up there.” On top of the rooftop of La Pedrera.

“Why didn’t you say somethin’?” she chews on the straw of her drink absentmindedly.

“Didn’t want to worry ya, kid.” His eyes focus on the still dormant fountain instead of on hers.

“Bullshit.” She sets the cup down in front of her and brings a hand to his face, turning it towards her.

“What?” he’s shocked by how quickly her tone turned aggressive.

“You heard me.” She repeats, her hand falling to her lap. “You weren’t trying to be selfless.”

“Then what was I doing?” his tone is dangerous.

“Can’t crack that up yet.” She ponders it for a few moments.

“I have that problem sometimes.” He confesses. “When things aren’t the way I want them to.” He finishes his sandwich and puts away the wrapper in his backpack.

“When things aren’t the way you want them to be…” she echoes. He’s unbelievable.

“I didn’t want you to see me like that.” People start cheering, but they remain absorbed in their conversation.

“Afraid?” she runs her hands through her hair and successfully makes a ponytail.

He keeps quiet.

“That’s it, right?” she smiles, pleased. “You didn’t want me to see you scared?” the fountain rises and water starts splashing around in various colors. “You didn’t want me to think you’re what? Human?” she presses. His eyes reflect the pinks and blues and yellows. “Tell you a secret, I don’t. Never have.” That’s a lie, a big one. Big movie star, Harrison Ford, fearless and manly as can be. That was her mindset and, frankly, it was scary to think otherwise.

He turns around, effectively shutting her up. His mouth clashes onto hers, his tongue slipping inside her, demanding and expecting nothing but her very best. She obliges, of course. The music in the square is nearly deafening, but it doesn’t throw her off. Her hand grips the hair on the back of his head, tugging him closer and closer. Their lips slide on each other until he’s breathless. As they part, she sits back up in her place, their skin barely touching.

Then, softer:

“You kiss like a poet.” The words barely reach her.

“Kissed a lot of poets in your life to know how they go about it, Harrison?” she laughs it off, uncomfortable.

“You know what I mean.” He says, their eyes never meeting.

She does. Because every time he looks at her, suddenly flowers grow in her chest.  

The morning sunlight accompanies them on their way to La Sagrada Família. The map easily leads them to the closest transit station. The metrotakes them directly to the cathedral, as they exit the station. And then they see it, through the waves of tourists and countless bright green trees. La Pedrera and Casa Batlló may be Gaudí masterpieces, but Sagrada Família?

It’s a monster.

Its height is unfathomable and the exquisite sculpture work on the facades is unbelievable. Portraits of Christ’s life cover the entirety of its outside and its shape is eerily reminiscent of sandcastles on the beach. It looks like a fantasyland castle – wet sand dripped through fingers, both sharp and soft.

Carrie and Harrison circle the entire structure, taking in the seemingly unorganized order of the figures carved into every inch of the front. So much is happening, everywhere, that the overall style defies categorization. The west side is austere and tormented, drawing their attention to an emaciated Jesus on an iron cross. Stone women wail beside a pile of skulls at his feet. However, the east side is an abundance of life – humans and angels and animals and wheat – and topped by a green tree covered in white doves. Carrie inhales at its beauty, and they’ve only seen the outside.

As they enter the cathedral, they’re aware of an absence of noise. Organic figures intertwine with colorful and intricate stained-glass windows. On the right side, windows dyed with blues and greens and purples bid goodbye to the sun, whereas on the left side, where the sun rises every morning, warm colors like oranges and yellows welcome it.

“Fuck, this is beautiful.” Harrison whispers, only to Carrie. She nods.

And then, an overwhelming need to pick up her notebook pops up. An entire storyline occurs and she wants desperately to write it down. She tugs on Harrison’s shirt’s sleeve and he looks down at her: “Harrison,”

“What’s the matter, sweetheart?” they keep walking through the columns.

“I want to write.” Her voice is tight.

“What, now?” his eyebrow creases.

“Please,” she tugs harder, more urgent.

“Okay, okay.” He looks around. “Sit down there, huh?” he points to one of the columns farther to the left.

She walks towards it, slumps on the ground and leans against the warm stone, hot from the sun rays. She fumbles inside her bag, fishing out her little grey notebook and a black ink pen. Words flow out of her and onto the paper, energy turning into energy. Harrison observes curiously, taking note of the way her lip curves when she’s thinking of what to write next, the way her teeth bite into it when she knows she’s got a good idea. Her back is curved over her ink-stained hands and the yellowed-out pages.

It’s a mesmerizing sight, even amongst all of Gaudí’s beauty.

A while later, her head rises and she smiles. His body, his soul, fills with the most pleasant adrenaline he’s ever felt. The sight of her proud smile imprints a crescent moon on his lip, and the desire of capturing this moment and savoring it for more than these mere seconds is overpowering. He sneaks out his camera and snaps the swiftest shot he’s ever taken, her lips and sparkling eyes forever inside his jeans’ pocket.

I wish the world would swallow us whole, in this moment. This, it hits me, feels like falling in love.

The afternoon train is already speeding out of Spain and it’s warm-colored buildings, en route to reality, also known as grey old London.

“When are you gonna show me one of those things you write?” Harrison mumbles.

“What?” Carrie’s eyes are cloudy from tiredness.

“Will you ever show me?” his eyes are the smallest hint of hopeful.

“Someday, Harrison,” she responds. “Someday.” She smiles, though not very convincingly.

“What is it exactly that you write?” he thought of letting go of the subject, but he’s too invested now to stop.

“Whatever I feel like.” She replies. It doesn’t seem enough to satisfy him. “Sometimes, it’s journals. Others, poetry. Rarely prose, though I do have a million ideas for it.” She laughs, suddenly nervous for having his undivided attention.

“Interesting,” he looks at her like he’s studying her. It’s intimidating. “Very different writing styles, then.” She nods. “Does it feel different?”

She lets her hair loose from the pony tail and it falls down onto her shoulders. “When I write a diary, I do it to listen to myself, not to communicate.” He nods in understanding, inciting her to continue. “It’s sort of like I’m cloning myself in an effort to try to understand myself.” She chuckles. “Just trying to get to the edge of my personality.”

“And poetry?” her gets up and makes his way across the table, sitting down beside her. As if this conversation couldn’t get any more daunting.

“Oh, poetry is a lousy lousy way of communicating.” She explains. “But such a great way to find yourself.” His lip curves upward in the most endearing smirk.

“So, your words mirror you.” He tries. When she doesn’t react, he bites his bottom lip in anticipation. She melts a little bit inside.

“My words burn.”

If only he knew every hurtful, confused, venomous words she’s written about him.

“It’s ironic how artistic we become when our hearts are broken.” As she says this, she realizes how truly powerful her words are, because it looks as though his face shut down. His eyes look glassy and dark, his facial features very harsh, as though they were hand-painted with coal. She almost regrets them. Almost.

“All art comes down to love and heartbreak, isn’t that so?” she’s enjoying the effect she has on him. He must understand. Her smile is wicked.

He plunges into her, dives into her, drowns. His lips are hers, his bottom lip trapped in between his. Her hands on his soft, brown hair, pulling him closer, as close as she pleases. In her waist, she feels his fingers digging perfect oval holes on her skin. His slight stubble rubs against her sun-kissed skin and it feels nothing short of exciting. These days, it feels like he only kisses her to shut her up.

As the train breezes through the French countryside, Carrie and Harrison kiss. The kiss doesn’t quite feel the same, though. Her air leaves her body and enters his, enters her spirit, enters her life.

#carrison #carrie fisher #harrison ford #fanfiction #rpf #carrison fanfiction #tita writes #a heart in barcelona