#tunte has a shitty health

[tuntematonkorppi]

guess who just dislocated their hip while getting in bed

me. it’s me. existence is pain.

#personal shit #totally didn't throw up after popping it back #small victories #tunte has a shitty health

[tuntematonkorppi]

today’s rehab program was arm workout and now i have overcooked noodles below my shoulders

let’s hope it doesn’t last too long, i need to finish painting my walls tomorrow

#personal shit #this rehab program is kicking my ass like you wouldn't believe #and i'm an athletic person #shows how much i lost in muscle mass after being injured like half a dozen time in a row #tunte has a shitty health

[tuntematonkorppi]

dislocated my thumb while doing the dishes! 

and i have two commissions due in five days!

and yes the thumb i dislocated is my dominant hand’s thumb!

#personal shit #tunte has a shitty health

[tuntematonkorppi]

could my body stop blacking out everytime i get up even after i ate and i'm not lacking salt/sugar/water?

super annoying that shit.

#personal shit #tunte has a shitty health

[tuntematonkorppi]

it's 6.42am and i have slept around 40 minutes this night because my body has decided to be a fucker and have a neuralgia flare up the entire night

and now it's gone except in my fingers and i don't feel like sleeping so i might go for a run.

#personal shit #tunte has a shitty health

[tuntematonkorppi]

you know that chronically ill feeling where you had a good day the day before and you were like “oh tomorrow i should do this and this” and it’s not even big things it’s just that you haven’t had the time to do it that day so you just want to do it the next day, and you feel good about yourself and you think that maybe you won’t have a flare for a while.

and then the next day comes and you’re in a shitton of pain and all the good feels you had from the previous day just evaporate and it feels like you’re never gonna be able to achieve anything in your life?

yeah.

#personal shit #tunte has a shitty health #negative stuff #chronic illness

[tuntematonkorppi]

it’s 6:20pm and i’ve only just been able to get up from my bed because MIGRAINE.

i wanted to do stuff today 

i’m so tired of this body

#personal shit #tunte has a shitty health

[tuntematonkorppi]

today i felt like shit. going 5 subway stations away to pick up a package drained me. i had an exhibit opening at my tattoo studio at 7 and i woke up from a 2 hours nap at 6, feeling even shittier than before. and i thought “i’m not going”. and i felt like shit for it. 

an hour later, i said fuck to wallowing in my bed, i got dressed, i put on some makeup and i went. 

and i had a great fucking time, my tattoo artists (who are also my friends at this point) were like “heeey we were wondering if you were gonna show up, so glad you’re here” and it just warmed my heart. i wasn’t feeling my best, but seeing so many passionate people made me smile. i met new people, i laughed and i almost forgot that i was in pain. 

ten minutes before the official end of the event, the owner of the studio (the guy who does my piercings and also a friend) was like “hey your glass is empty, want a refill?” and i was like “well i thought it was over in 10″ and he said “c’mon not for you, you can stay as long as we’re here”.

so i stayed and i had more fun with them.

and yeah, maybe tomorrow i won’t feel great, but at least tonight i avoided a depression spirale.

#personal shit #tunte has a shitty health

[tuntematonkorppi]

news from the doc weren’t good. basically wearing the splint did jackshit except for melting away my muscle mass, the tendinitis and the tenosynovitis are still here, so i gotta do an ultrasound and then it’ll be intensive pt time and if that doesn’t work then steroid injections. amazing. i’m thrilled. also the fact that i have IBS is fucking me over because i can’t have any anti inflammatory pills to help reduce the inflammation.

but he gave me a new prescription for the GOOD PAINKILLERS THAT ACTUALLY WORK ON ME so yay for that.

also i need to get vaccinated against the flu asap

and now i have a migraine

i need a new body

ALSO he checked the tendon in my wrist that looked misplaced to me and there’s nothing to worry about it’s just that my tendon isn’t stuck in place by my muscles anymore since they melted away but once i build my muscles back it’ll come back to where it was before. yay.

#personal shit #tunte has a shitty health

[tuntematonkorppi]

i had a sudden cramp in my calf so violent during the night that it woke me up and it was so painful i thought i had torn a muscle.

now it's a couple of hours later and it's still painful and walking is...yeah. ouch.

i'd love if my body could stop self destroying tbh.

#so much paaaaaain #i slept terribly #personal shit #tunte has a shitty health

[tuntematonkorppi]

my muscle relaxant and my new pain killers make me drowsy but do they do anything for the pain?

of course not.

#personal shit #tunte has a shitty health

[tuntematonkorppi]

today’s doc appointment was like “wow there’s absolutely no improvement in your condition at all and some aspect of it is even worse? okay here’s the number of another doctor you should see because i can’t do more for you” and i was like “oh great but you know i also have this new thing that is bothering me?” and the doc was like “well it seems like it’s another thing entirely but it also could be related and we won’t know until the other thing is solved-ish but i also can’t give you any drugs to manage that new thing because it could fuck the other thing even more” and i’m like “great i’m just wanna cry and burrow under my blankets with a hot cherry pit pillow and hope for the sweet release of death because at this point my existence is 98% pain”

today is not a good day. 

oh and don’t fucking reblog this that’s like fucking personal and i just need to vent alright?? (i feel like it should be obvious but people are reblogging the strangest personal things so yeah that’s a PSA)

#personal shit #tunte has a shitty health #death mention

[tuntematonkorppi]

so on sunday i hurt my wrist. i iced it, wrapped it up, almost took an ibuprofen but didn’t because i remembered i’m not allowed to take ibuprofen anymore and waited for the pain to pass like it usually does because it’s usually just a tendinitis. 

today it was still painful so i mentioned it to my sport doc (that i was seeing for an unrelated issue). he examined my wrist, made me move my thumb (it hurt) and then was like “if i press here does it hurt” and i just. black out. straight up, no warning, just boom, gone. 

verdict: dislocated wrist with added tenosynovitis and tendonitis on top. my left hand is in a splint for the next two weeks. 

i guess i’m not doing inktober this year.

#but hey i managed to break eggs one handed #even tho it was my right hand! #eating with my right hand is another issue tho #personal shit #tunte has a shitty health

[tuntematonkorppi]

the thing that sucks when you have a digestive disorder and you can’t take any anti-inflammatory drugs anymore because they make the disorder worse, it’s that all your other shit that you were treating with anti-inflammatory drugs comes back full force and you can’t do shit about it. see also: my chronic knee tendinitis, my chronic neuralgia and the headaches that were only getting better with a mix of high dosage of ibuprofen and caffein. 

honestly fuck my life. 

#personal shit #i need to go to the grocery store #but my ribs are killing me #tunte has a shitty health

[tuntematonkorppi]

so i managed to go to the first dance class of the year tonight and at the time i felt great but now i’m in so much fucking pain i wanna die (the tramadol pills are doing nothing i can’t deal with that bullshit) BUT

i finally decided how i was gonna finish my right arm sleeve tattoo. it’s gonna take lots of time and lots of money but it’s gonna be great and my artist is gonna love me. so yay silver lining.

#personal shit #tunte has a shitty health

[tuntematonkorppi]

nothing says “you’re gonna have a great fucking day” like waking up with the shakes

#personal shit #tunte has a shitty health