#turning 26

[creatingnikki]

In two days, I turn twenty-six. I love my birthdays, used to anyway. It felt like that one day everything could be about me without having to feel guilty. Because I am an empath and I tend to put others at the centre of most things, it felt refreshing to have one day be just mine without any qualms. When I was younger, I would spend these few days before my birthday reminiscing every previous birthday - what I did, how my friends and family surprised me, how I felt, what I wore, how amazing it was. Walking down that glittery birthday memory lane was one of my favourite birthday traditions. But now? This time? I just don’t have the time for that. Never have I felt so strapped for time before. Either I have to work, or I am trying to not cry, or I want to have sex. Work, cry, sex. And if there is any time in between, I indulge in retail therapy. Not without stressing about my credit card bills, of course. 

When did life get to this? Twenty-five has been an eventful year, more than I bargained for. I do not know if it was specific to this age or if it’s simply going to be my life going forward. I do not know if I have enough time management and emotional risk-hedging skills for that, to be honest. If I can take a minute to think back to 10 years ago when I was fifteen, turning sixteen, I’d probably cry tears of joy. Baby. I was a baby. Even back then I was dealing with more than I bargained for. Frequent hospital visits, abuse, heartbreak, and the stress of scoring well in exams (boards) that were supposed to determine the course of my career. Okay, I do not know if these are tears of joy. It’s something like a mixed feeling of sadness - I shouldn’t have had to go through all of that - and a feeling of pride - I dealt with everything so strongly and a feeling of wonder and awe - how did I manage all of that and still retain everything soft and whole and pure in me? Because now at twenty-five, about to turn twenty-six, I struggle. But wait, this was supposed to be about the birthday memory lane. 

My sixteenth birthday was as sweet as I could have hoped for. My sister ended up buying me 22 gifts (couldn’t stop at 16), I got an email from my then favourite author, my friend baked me the most delicious cake, my best friend got me an identical heart-shaped pendant that I had previously got her, another friend got me a hoodie that is till date my favourite, and my mother made sure I have a good day even though she was distressed. I also had got front bangs that were way too short so I looked funny but nobody said a word about it. The next day I had my English language exam, I think. Language exams never felt like exams to me, they were fun. That’s what I wanted my life, my career to be like. I don’t think I have failed miserably. Tomorrow I have to go to work. And at work, I am an editor, sometimes a writer. Kind of like the adult version of what language exams meant for me. So maybe I haven’t failed so miserably after all? Maybe I haven’t failed at all? 

Failing. That’s funny, I have never quite thought in terms of failure and success. That’s not my disposition. What matters to me, then? Having control - control over my life and my time and my emotions and my actions. Maybe that’s why I have been feeling so miserable lately. I may be doing alright on the conventional markers of success like my career and stuff but I have lost control. Or at least I feel like I have. I do not know how to get it back, and I do not know if twenty-six-year-old me will be able to do that. But I do know this, she will try. 

And to my twenty-five-year-old self, as I say goodbye, I want to say this - I know you tried too and you did such a good job. Thank you for not losing patience with yourself or becoming bitter and resentful towards the world even though it kept pushing you in that direction. You did so well. We will stop crying now and step out. 그만 울 거야 나올 거야.

#note to self #writerscreed #poetryportal #poeticstories #twc poetry #inkstay #birthday #turning 26 #hello my twenties #25 #26 #birthday month #letters #self reflection #introspection #adulting #growing up #memory lane #writers on tumblr #poets on tumblr #spilled ink #success #being sixteen #sweet sixteen #creatingnikki

[fukozawa]

Its my birthday today !!! :)

#turning 26 #officially a late 20s gal #still look 15 tho lmao

[behind-thebrowneyes]

random though right now. I am gunna be turning 26 soon… 26 with a baby and a mom van. never thought I’d be here 😅😅

#random thoughts #sort of rant #interesting #too many thoughts #thoughts #slowly feeling myself #feeling good #im bored #ask me anything #getting older #pagan #turning 26 #werid feeling #werid #don’t know what to do

[smokingonaburningship]

This was the worst birthday of my life and I'm not even bothered. No cake, no birthday shot, no party, no presents. Is this really what I deserve?

#birthday #capricorn weekly horoscope: what your star sign has in store for november 26 – december 2 #turning 26 #midlife crisis

[madpatti]

Had the idea a while ago to draw slashers/horror characters with bloody flowers 🥀

I've only finished fred yet and I'm planning to more but it's so time consuming

#also happy birthday to me o turned 26 today haha #slasher #fan art #pennywise #Michael myers #freddy krueger #nightmare on elm street #Halloween #it #rose #flower #madpatti

[royalarchivist]

Foolish: So- wait, what do we all need to do then? Do we just- do we just enjoy?

Roier: Uhh just um, just-

Maxo: Enjoy! Enjoy it!

Roier: Yes, enjoy, enjoy, because we are going to do, um-

Foolish: [looking at Vegetta] Oh, I'm gonna enjoy...

Vegetta: Foolish… *takes off his clothes* enjoy.

Foolish:

#Foolish #Foolish Gamers #Vegetta777 #Fooligetta #QSMP #Vegetta #Literally what was that stream even LMFAO #Anyways Foolish was one of the best additions to QSMP solely because of how he frickin reacted to Vegetta stripping like this #frickin me 2 dude #everyone was quick to accept Foolish into the Spanish community for a variety of reasons #but also because he's just as insane about Vegetta as the rest of us #Good taste king #Fooligetta isn't my thing personally but Foolish's enthusiasm is hopelessly charming I'll give him that lol #It's a very fun unhinged ship #Roier #Maximus #April 26 2023 #I know a lot of people have already seen this clip probably but nobody frickin included the part where Foolish turns to Leo like #''oh right you should probably cover your eyes'' #that killed me #Also his ''wtf'' at seeing Roier LMAO poor Roier it's ok bud #*I* personally liked the skin Vegetta chose before going with this one but alas

[satans-knitwear]

v quick flash to keep u going until i finish getting my fancy tuesday fit together. will be ft my new piercings of course 👀✨

Treat me ~ Tip me ~ More of me

#i got NOTHING done yesterday in regard to t✨ddy pics 😭 but i DID sort out all my lingerie draws. so that was a wild day. #trying again today!! so keep ur eyes peeled 👀👌 #satans knitwear #also. cannot believe i am turning 26 next week??? #bi girl #cheeky #uk girl #wlw #alt pinup #pinup girl #pretty lingerie

[spiralstain]

MAG 26 “A Distortion”

(Click for better quality!)

#man. I can’t say I’m happy with how this turned out #but after months of barely being able to force a shitty sketch or two per week this is a start at least yknow #forcing myself out of the worst art slump of my life rn so I’m trying not to be too harsh on myself atm #tma #the magnus archives #tma fanart #the magnus archives fanart #the magpod #the magnus pod #MAG 26 #a distortion #sasha james #michael shelley #michael the distortion #michael distortion #my art #digital art #illustration #illustrator #art #tma season one #tma season 1 #tbh as much as I love the later seasons s1 will always be my favourite <3 #the spiral #the spiral tma

[herb10]

Happy Birthday to this beautiful man 🩵

- 10th March 1998

#f u for being so attractive #but not really #thank u bbs #babygirl turns 26 #justin herbert #los angeles chargers #la chargers #nfl #2024 offseason

[caramiaaddio]

god the ending of steven universe just hits harder with everything that’s happening in the world. they pull him apart looking for the woman he used to be only to find out she’s not there anymore. he’s always been himself. and his sheer joy at finding out that no, he wasn’t faking it. no, he wasn’t really the woman they said he was. when you strip him down to his barest essentials, he is the boy he said he was. what an absolutely fucking masterful metaphor about being trans. what a gorgeous statement on how society views lgbtq people. rebecca sugar literally just handed us this beautiful work filled with such bare and honest truths about living and said “yeah and make it appealing to kids so they don’t have to grow up hating themselves”

#I don’t need you to respect me I respect me #I don’t need you to love me I love me #but I want you to know you could know me. if you change your mind #I’m 26 and crying from this cartoon real heartfelt tears #I haven’t watched this show since before I was out of the closet and it feels so different now #he’s just a kid screaming at the world to accept him how he is #and turns out there’s a little kid inside me screaming the same thing

[boobaloof]

Werebear!Erend AU

#werebearend if u will #my babygirl (26 year old man) will get whatever he wants (turned into a bear ) for my own amusement (bullshit) #dont ask for context cuz theres none #hfw #hzd #horizon zero dawn #horizon forbidden west #horizon fanart #aloy #aloy despite the nora #hfw aloy #erend #erend vanguardsman #hfw erend #aloy hfw #erend hfw #bab-art #bearend tag

[historicallyaccuratecheese]

HELLO…? MAGNUS ARCHIVES FANARTIST? YES, I WOULD LIKE A DRAWING OF JON…LOOKING WELL PUT TOGETHER AND MENTALLY STABLE!!!

#tma #the magnus archives #tma fanart #jonathan sims #this is a joke btw you guys rule #also I’m still working on my big post on every episode #just had to take a small break bc holidays #but my god is it long #like the hyperfixation has set in #there’s no turning back now #the second half of season 1 might as well be a whole ass essay #episode 26…save me episode 26….save me

[mejomonster]

#PLEASE reblog lets get a size to contemplate #feel free to share them or idk tag how many #moi? um lets see 1 at age 5. 2 at age 8. 3 at age 22. 4 at age 26. thats just counting full on definitely about to die #im not counting the Wouldve died if X didnt turn lucky (but feel free to include anything u consider near death) #if u had a near death experience like idk vision like an out of body experience feel free to tag if ya feel like it

[gendry]

And did the twin flame bruise paint you blue? Just between us, did the love affair maim you, too? 'Cause in this city's barren cold I still remember the first fall of snow And how it glistened as it fell I remember it all too well

#gotedit #gotaryastark #gotgendry #gendrya #arya x gendry #arya stark #gendry #gendryaedit #what are the tags these days #a nice oak tree #mine #turned 26 while making a gendrya gifset <3 #this is like 2 years late lol #also ignore the last gif making no sense i was not about to look for fancasts #have also utilised artistic license for the 'upstate escape' part lmao #gameofthronesdaily #filmtv #tvedit #got #also why is the new way to upload gifsets on tumblr so annoying

[acecroft]

Cosplay: Lara Croft (Bomber Jacket Outfit) TOMB RAIDER II: The Dagger of Xian (1997) 🎮 

[my IG with more cosplay]

#tomb raider #lara croft #tomb raider 2 #tomb raider ii #tomb raider the dagger of xian #classic tomb raider #classic lara croft #cosplay #mycosplay #** #TR2 was my first TR game #it turned 26 today yay

[outism-had-a-purpose]

Outis-centered crackfic treated seriously where she assembles an ikea bed with some sinners (for. whatever reasons) and thinks about her wife and their olive tree bed back at home in the process.

#outis #assorted outisms #limbus company #sorry i was in the mood for old woman yuri yearning #her canto would most likely focus on her involvement and hand in the smoke war but here is to hoping that her second canto #(26 districts to 13 sinners) will be her homecoming one. see you all in fucken... 6 years i guess if im even still brainrotting about her #let's watch as penelope turns out to be a man. then i will kill myse-