#tw aba

[hiiragi7]

(Warning for discussion of abuse)

There is a certain ableist and classist feel to the way that a lot of people talk about highschool education and graduation that I've noticed. "I bet they never graduated highschool" is often used as an insult and to imply stupidity, for example. I've noticed this trend for a long time, but struggled to put it into words.

While education is important, I often feel very put down by the amount of emphasis placed on being a highschool graduate (and, on the opposite end, the disdain for non-graduates). I never graduated, due to a variety of factors; I suffered very extreme abuse starting in first grade from the school environment (As a diagnosed autistic kid growing up in SPED in the 2000s, ABA was the standard), I was being abused at home, I moved schools a lot, I struggle with several disabilities which impacted my ability to learn and developmentally I was never really at the same level as my peers besides in English and art, I developed chronic physical issues while I was still in school due to a genetic condition, and finally, I was kicked out of the house when I was 17 by my parents and I just never ended up going back to school (not that I could have graduated anyway due to a variety of issues).

I was never able to learn quite right and that lead to me falling further and further behind. By the time I was in middle school, I was already so far behind my peers that even if my teachers had wanted to help me learn the content, there was so much they would have had to teach me that it would have been impossible for them to fit it into the time I had with them, especially when they had a lot of other students to attend to besides me. On top of that, I had already given up on my own education sometime during elementary school, so any attempts that were made by my teachers were not well-received by me. I had already developed a complex web of trauma responses to anything to do with school by that point.

It seemed that I was caught in an impossible situation where between the trauma I suffered with and my autism, I could not tolerate even being in a classroom setting, much less learn in it, but there were no other options, which lead to chronic activation of trauma responses which overwhelmed both me and my teachers as well as everyone else in my life. There was also no understanding for me in these settings either, and nobody informed enough to realize what was going on with me and why I was constantly either shutting down and unresponsive or having severe panic attacks. Rather, I was called lazy, manipulative, not trying hard enough, making excuses, acting out for attention, and a slew of other insults as well as near-constant punishments which only served to traumatize me further.

To this day, I only have a second grade education in math. I do not know multiplication, division, algebra, physics, chemistry, and a variety of other subjects. Attempting to study school subjects gives me flashbacks no matter which method I use, whether it's online or with another person or on my own. I am gifted in English, but otherwise I do not know many of the things that people are generally taught in school as kids.

When I tell people I never graduated, often the response is "it's okay, you can still get your GED!" as if me not having graduated is a character flaw that I must eventually work to fix. It makes me feel as though my worth and value as a person is tied to whether or not I have at least a highschool education, and that without it I am less worthy of people's time.

Going back to my initial point, if not graduating highschool makes you "stupid", you must also consider who in practice is unable to graduate highschool - I find it is often disabled kids, traumatized kids, and impoverished kids. Not all of them, I'm sure, but definitely a lot of them.

Tying intellect and a person's worth to whether or not they graduated highschool fucks over those who couldn't through no real fault of their own and frames them as lesser for it. How can you say you believe in disability rights when you shit on those who are too disabled to complete school? How can you say you are against classism when you view people who could not graduate due to having to work full-time as lesser than you?

I feel that regardless of how much people insist they are an advocate (or how much they say "No no, when I said people who don't graduate are stupid I didn't mean those people, I only meant what I see as the acceptable group of non-graduates to call stupid"), there are biases at play regarding perceived intellect and formal education. I am viewed as inherently less-than when people learn I did not graduate. My lack of a highschool graduation certificate or "at least" a GED is viewed with pity by just about everyone I talk to.

I don't have a neat way to wrap up this post, but I do think it is important for people to examine their own biases when it comes to discussing formal education, as well as the overlap of non-graduates and marginalized groups, especially as it pertains to disability politics and capitalism.

#disability politics #autism #abuse #tw abuse #disability advocacy #disability awareness #tw aba #aba

[clownrecess]

(TW: Talk of ABA, trauma, abuse, self offing, etc.)

ABA is abusive whether you want to admit it or not. It just is.

It doesn't "depend on the therapist", it is abusive by nature. The abuse and trauma inducing experiences are deeply rooted in it.

"Oh, well ours is basically just some OT and speech", that's not ABA, then. Whilst yes, OT and speech do very much have the ability to be abusive, ABA always is. A combination of some in home OT and speech is not ABA.

So what is ABA? ABA stands for applied behavioural analysis. It is a "therapy" that parents of autistic people are usually pushed to do. And often times, the parents agree! Whether that's because the insurance covers it, or because the school told them to, or whatever, they tend to accept it.

I was one of the people who's parents accepted it.

I was in ABA for a little over a year, I would have been in it much longer but eventually I was taken out because I threatened to off myself if I remained in it. And this didnt work immediately, I had been threatening this for months. I'm not sure why it finally worked.

ABA likes to trick you at the start. My therapists in particular referred to this tricking as the "honeymoon phase". In this phase, they would act like my friends. They made me trust them.

We would talk about our interests, and play games together.

It felt safe, and I liked it!

Until it changed, that is. About two months into ABA, they stopped being like my friends.

It went from me happily playing chess with him, to him yelling at me, a child hiding under a table, because I didn't say what he wanted me to say.

And this of course evolved too. And I was further traumatized.

I was tricked, and then abused by the hands of so called therapists.

It has been around 2, almost 3 years since this. I am still extremely frightened by anything remotely related to those experiences.

I had a panic attack in a water park because somebody looked **slightly** like one of them.

Please don't put your kid in ABA. I don't care how helpful you think it'll be.

#tw aba therapy #tw aba #tw sewerslide #tw abuse #tw trauma #aba is abuse #yes all aba #anti aba #aba therapy #actually autistic #neurodivergent #nonspeaking autistic #autism #applied behavior analysis

[zebulontheplanet]

I will not be answering any questions about ABA therapy. I do not have the words to describe my opinion.

@/five-thousand-loaves-of-bread has made a lovely post about it and just agree whole heartedly with what they said. That is my opinion.

#zebrambles #tw aba #tw ABA therapy

[tismtay]

having trauma from ABA makes it so you have the constant and unfulfillable urge to maul ole ivar lovaas to death with your bare hands

At least the bastard is in hell now

#tw aba #tw aba therapy

[dilutedapplejuice]

TW: mentions of verbal and physical abuse, ableism, queerphobia, ABA mention

Here’s to the autistic people with abusive/toxic/harmful families!

To those who were diagnosed late and got bullied by siblings and parents for autistic traits. To those diagnosed early but still were not taken seriously, accommodated for, or treated with respect. To those who were diagnosed and treated worse because of it. To those who suffered because of at-home use of ABA strategies. To those still dependent on their families for any reason, but especially as a result of needing at least one caregiver. To those who have generational trauma because of a family history of neurodivergence and mental illness. To those who were hurt for traits not exclusive to autism, like being queer, BIPOC, otherwise mentally ill/neurodiverse, or just existing. To those who were physically abused or restrained unnecessarily. To those whose families did their best with the resources and knowledge they had, but still fell short of enough. To those who feel it wasn’t that bad but still suffer from the effects.

I’m sorry you weren’t given the love and respect you deserve. I hope you are able to heal eventually. I love you all dearly and I hope I can help you understand your worth. You make the world a better place just by being in it.

#disability pride month #disability pride #actually autistic #autism #autism rambles #positive #tw ABA #ABA #tw abuse #abuse #tw domestic abuse #domestic abuse #tw physical abuse #physical abuse

[thefirsthogokage]

Geezus fucking Kryst

One of our patients - who really isn't mentally capable of taking care of himself so know that - is excited about his new job...ABA

Yeah, the autistic conversion therapy

I doubt he would want to do this, and could cause him mental harm knowing he's actually going to learn how to traumatize children

I will be making this clear to my dad so he can talk him out of it, for - at the very least, - his patient's sake

Do no harm, right?

#tw aba #autism #fuck aba #the self #the office #at the office

[identitty-dickruption]

My respite worker is from Ethiopia and she’s ableist and has worked in ABA therapy, and my mom still thinks she’s worth “working with” even though she tests my patience and gives orders instead of respecting my autistic needs and she even has prejudiced against nonbinary people. What can I do to convince my mom she’s not perfect, but I need someone that respects my autonomy.

sorry, this is very much not in my wheelhouse. I’m sorry that you’re going through this and that your mum isn’t respecting your autonomy. I hope you’re able to get through to her, or find another trusted adult to talk to about it. good luck <3

#asks #ask to tag #tw aba

[flimsy-roost]

oh uh hm wow my brother sent me Patricia Taxxon's DHMIS video (I've never watched dhmis and probably won't anytime soon) and uh wow okay

I got evaluated at 25 so I was never in sped but holy shit is all that language familiar, like not the specific frames/tools referenced but just the whole attitude, that everything I do and think and feel is somehow constantly wrong, that no no no you're not expressing frustration and seeking support, you, a child, are clearly manipulating me, an adult, like holy shit

I kind of avoided looking into the specifics of aba out of almost like a survivor's guilt sort of thing? but to see the overlap in that it seems to include formalized and weaponized forms of things I was also subject to is kind of fucking insane to me but also makes too much total sense

#nd #actually autistic #audhd #aba #tw aba #note my knowledge of the specifics starts and ends with things mentioned in the video #I don't doubt I'm missing huge swathes of info and if you're frustrated with me comparing experience in this way that's totally fair #I'm open to learning more about this from an autistic's perspective #but like with anything on the subject the waters are so muddy with autism mom tm bullshit that I don't trust myself to ID good sources

[birdofmay]

I am autistic but have severe trauma due to masking (I’m an ABA victim) and so unmasking has been difficult. Lately I’ve been more open and learning that I don’t need to respond to something if I don’t know how to respond to it. A lot of times it’s “I apologize your words affect me deeply I just don’t know how to respond to that :(“ and I genuinely feel terrible that I can’t find my words or find the way to appropriately connect my feelings to a response. Before this I used to be like “I’m appreciative of that, thanks.” Or “I don’t really like that…” but things have become more complicated and now I don’t want to use the default template response because it doesn’t actually connect to how I really feel. Is there some term for this? What is it? I don’t think it’s nonverbal or nonspeaking I mean I can talk and such, I just don’t know what to completely say to people or what genuinely feels ok to say that is satisfying to how I feel internally. A piece of me feels a little restricted with only learning one language (english) and I feel that other languages out there have better ways to articulate and connect how one internally feels.

I tried to reword your ask and if I understand you correctly, what you're basically saying is

"I used scripts all the time, and now that I'm not scripting anymore I realised that I don't know how to express myself and my feelings"

did I get that right?

If so, I think it's very common to struggle with that in the process of unmasking. Once the reliable scripts are gone, you have to figure everything out yourself, and of course that's confusing and frustrating. But I don't think there's a special term for that.

I'd like to hand this ask over to autistics with similar experiences, no matter if you're a follower or not, feel free to comment whatever comes to mind! ☝🏼

#aba mention #aba cw #cw aba #aba tw #tw aba #ask #long post #actually autistic

[clownrecess]

hey! i came across your blog and saw that you said pro-aba dni. i hope this is okay to ask but i was wondering if i could get your perspective on aba. if you need/want to stop reading now because the topic is upsetting/annoying/anything else, then i totally get it and you don’t need to go further or respond. i wanna start off by saying that i only know what i was taught, which is that aba is a good thing. anyways i worked as a special education teacher at an elementary school where a lot of my students had rbt’s with them for all/most of the day. in our case, a lot of those rbt’s were there to prevent students from harming themselves or others. i will say that i have certainly seen some questionable aba being done (there were several different companies providing services and their procedural differences could be glaringly frustrating). but none of my students were capable of articulating how they felt about their rbt and/or aba as a whole so i was looking to see why people are opposed to the practice. i mean i can see how making a child change their behavior as a way to fit into “normal” society (a stupid concept bc normal is bs) can be troubling, but i could also see that some good can come out of it, as far as harm reduction goes. coming from a psych background i can see how teaching kids to adjust their behavior in order to keep them safe is a good thing. but if the practice as a whole isn’t good then do you know of an alternative that is effective? (as far as reducing harm/injury goes.) i apologize if this seems extremely ignorant of me but i am genuinely curious to get an autistic kid’s point of view. especially if they have personal experience with it, but even if they don’t. since this is relevant to my career field, i don’t want to go about thinking that aba is effective if it actually is quite the opposite. i’m also not looking to glorify/make excuses for aba if it’s a bad thing. sorry for the novel of an ask. i appreciate you taking the time to read this. again, don’t feel like you have to answer if this is a stupid or pointless thing to talk about. i’m not looking to waste your time. thanks again.

(TW FOR ABA, ABUSE, TRAUMA, ETC.)

I was in ABA when I was 11 or so. The goal of the therapists was to make me suppress my emotions, and mask. I was forced into overstimulating environments and was not allowed to leave, I was yelled at, I was taught I am not allowed to say no to anything, etc.

The experience was traumatic, and I still struggle with a lot of panic attacks and nightmares related to it.

And no, I'm not quite sure of a way to reduce harmful stims. I have quite a few harmful stims too, but from my experience ABA made them a lot worse, whilst also making my mental health horrible. Sometimes finding alternatives to those stims are good. I tend to bite the insides of my mouth a really severe amount, and chewies don't fix the problem, but they are helpful for harm reduction sometimes.

#tw aba #tw abuse #tw ableism #tw ableist language #actually autistic #autistic trauma #tw trauma #neurodivergent #aac user #autism #nonspeaking autistic #nonspeaking #aac device #aac users #situationally nonspeaking #disabled #yes all aba #traumatized autistic #autistic experiences

[notabled-noodle]

cw for aba mentions. so. i'm autistic and i emailed an autism organisation that offers and promotes aba, to ask them to please stop. the thing is, i kind of did it on a whim, and i'm a bit worried that it will make things worse? i approached them with empathy and understanding as best as i could but i'm still worried they'll dig their heels in and it will make any future efforts to get through to them worse. do you have any advice on not worrying about it?

all I can say is that you did the right thing in bringing it to their attention, and if they react poorly to that… that’s their fault. they’re being ableist and that’s on them.

the only ways I can ever stop worrying about something is to either distract myself, or to analyse the situation and work out what I can and can’t control. you sent the email. that’s over and done with. you cannot control what they do and you cannot change what the email says. let go of the things you can’t control!

good luck, I wish you all the best

#asks #tw aba

[zebulontheplanet]

have u ever been to aba, and if so, what is your experience with it

Hi, I have not been to ABA. I have been through intensive therapies, but never ABA.

Have a lovely day anon! If you have any further questions feel free to ask.

#zebrambles #autism #tw aba #tw aba therapy

[neon-mooni]

"Well you're an Autistic that can talk"

Yeah, because I went through conversion therapy that starved me, kept me prisoner, didn't let me go to the bathroom, and held me down until I spoke like a dog at obedience school.

#ABA Is Abuse #TW ABA

[nicxxx5]

Question: TW ABA

i have a question for autistic people; what is the opinion of people going into aba with the intention and purpose of reforming/remodeling it? i’m very aware of how controversial aba is in the community and how it has caused trauma for many autistic people, but i was curious to know what people’s thoughts were on changing the way aba is done so that is is less harmful and actually beneficial to majority of autistic people? /gen

Edit: if this post upsets anyone i have no problem deleting it i was just looking to get information on what the consensus was 

#actually autistic #autistic #autism #aba #tw aba #tw aba therapy #tw controversial #aba therapy #tw

[v-as-in-victor]

https://www.statnews.com/2022/08/15/private-equity-autism-aba-therapy/

Not only is ABA torture, it’s torture for profit and full of fraud.

#tw aba #autism

[jasperthetransandfriendlyghost]

#stoptheshock #autism #tw aba #tw violence