i want to seriously change my appearance, to the point where i look shocking and unrecognizable.
this is my thinspo for the day
hoping to lose 10 pounds in the 10 diet im doing right now..
for anyone curious:
Day 1: 200 kcal
Day 2: 150 kcal
Day 3: 100 kcal
Day 4: Fast
Day 5: 25 kcal
Day 6: Fast
Day 7: 50 kcal
Day 8: 75 kcal
Day 9: 150 kcal
Day 10: 200 kcal
Uhm... am I the only one who want people to shame me for being fat so I can shamefully lose weight? 💀
No? Just me? OK I'll shut up 👁👄👁
“i can see your ribs you should eat more”
its almost like that’s the whole point
at some point you just get used to the hunger. you never feel full when you binge. you’re hungry when you st*rve. you feel even more empty when you’re doing both. you always want more but it’s never going to be enough.
Me: *sees a celebrity who screams ed and has older pics or pics with normal weight*
“no, no, it’s healthy eating and exercise”
“that bracelet is DEF a kabballah bracelet and not an ana bracelet”
“they went vegan, that’s all”
Me: so let me get this straight:
- they go for coffee runs extremely regularly
- refuse certain foods
- lack the muscle and definition that comes with diet and exercise (models have literally been rejected for being too muscular, so that SHOWS they aren’t allowed to get thin through socially acceptable means)
- hang out with lots of models or people similarly built
- have fainted or have required that they were carried around
- is never seen carrying inordinately heavy objects
- smokes a lot, is rumored to take “skinni” drugs like heroin
- if they are a singer, weight can be seen fluctuating during off seasons
I feel like when you’ve had an ed long enough, you can literally just tell. So can anyone with a basic enough understanding of anatomy, and how normative diet and exercise affect the body. But PR teams will keep denying and stans will keep remaining in denial.
Then when it comes out that someone like Adriana Lima was on iv, or that Jade Thirlwall who struggled to do a plank during an interview had an ed, everyone is so shocked.
The fact that my safe foods are all triggers for me is a very good example of my lack of character
You drink black coffee
You base your self worth on the number on the scale
Your eating disorder has never been taken seriously
You eat alone
You measure your body frequently
Your eating disorder gets in the way of social events
You hate Thanksgiving/other food-related holidays
it’s either st*rving myself and wanting to be as thin as humanly possible or wanting to keep eating because i’m already obese and might as well keep going.
2022 is going to be my year. The year where I lose so much weight that the scale will only feel 90 pounds. The year where people will slowly see my dissappearing. The year my boyfriend will get worried about me. The year where where I go to the doctors theyll see the scale go into free fall. I still have to figure out a diet and stick to it. And workouts. Cardio.
I was thinking 700 calories a day then one cardio workout in the morning and one before I go to be.
Im also getting a job so I will be on my feet more.
2022 is going to be my year.