Fellas, are you dickless? Do you want to convince people you had a dick? Well let me (and some of my friends) introduce to you-
Painful excuses~!
"what a bad car crash dose to a motherfucker."
"I tragically lost it in the war."
"Shark..." 😔
"Never mess with fairies."
"Shark sucked my dick so hard-"
"Someone sucked my dick and got carried away with the teeth."
"I went to Canada in the winter and it never came back out."
"So like, have you ever tripped on an escalator?"
"Remember the rule of 'don't put your dick in that?'"
"The doc didn't understand what circumcision was."
"It's why guys don't cross their legs."
"Don't buy those things off Wish."
"Geese man. Geese..."
"I had chickens growing up. You don't expect them to be so vicious."
"Glass Shark."
"It's paid DLC now n' days."
"My parents couldn't afford to get one for me."
"I thought I could fit it in my cd player."
"So like, yah know how you can get a really bad sunburn?"
"I took a tour of the chernobyl exclusion zone."
"I had a wart."
"Ran into a door and well..." mimics something snapping in half
"What the vaccine does to a motherfucker"
"Got covid."
"Vacuuming."
Guaranteed to make anyone with a groind groan in agony.
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Incorrect Quotes Pt. 3
Unwelcome Unity Edition with the Incorrect Quote Generator
Camila: WHY. why did you give Luz a KNIFE?!
Eda: I’m sorry. She said she felt unsafe.
Camila: Now I feel unsafe!
Eda: I’m sorry.
Eda: ... would you like a knife?
-
Luz: Are you sure this is the right direction?
Eda: Certainly, I'm as sure as I am honest!
Camila: In that case, we're definitely lost.
-
Camila: Luz, what do IDK, LY, and TTYL mean?
Luz: I don’t know, love you, talk to you later
Camila: Ok, I love you too, I’ll just ask Gus.
-
Gus: Whaddya call a fish with no eye?
Camila, not looking up: Myxine Circifrons
Gus:
Gus: fsh
-
Gus: Change is inedible.
Camila: Don't you mean inevitable?
Gus, spitting out coins: No, I did not.
-
Luz: Lol heads up if you try to make a candle with food coloring, the food coloring will just sink to the bottom of the glass, and when the flame eventually reaches the bottom all the food coloring will catch fire and become one giant tall flame that you cannot possibly blow out and the glass will start to crack and then you'll throw your tea on it in a panic and then the extremely hot food coloring will boil and sizzle horribly and then the glass will shatter. Please take my word on this lmfao
Camila: What did you do Luz?
Luz: A MISTAKE
-
Hunter or Atalanta: People are always asking me if I'm a morning person or a night person.
Hunter or Atalanta: And I'm just like, 'Buddy! I'm barely even a PERSON!'
-
Luz: So apparently the 'bad vibes' I’ve been feeling are actually severe psychological distress
-
Luz: Vee and I were crossing the street, and this dude drove by and honked at us
Hunter: *Sighing* What did Vee do?
Luz: They chased him to the next red light, then reached into his window and...
Vee: Who wants a steering wheel?
-
Luz: In my defense, I was left unsupervised.
Camila: Wasn't Hunter with you?
Hunter: In my defense, I was also left unsupervised.
-
Luz: Fitness tip: never stop pushing yourself. Some say 8 hours of sleep is enough. Why not keep going? Why not 9? Why not 10? Strive for greatness.
Vee: Next time you’re working out do 15 push ups instead of 10. Run 3 miles instead of 2. Eat a whole cake instead of just a slice. Burn your ex’s house down. You can do it. I believe in you.
Hunter: There were so many mixed messages in that I can’t-
-
*Atalanta and Willow skipping stones on lake*
Willow: It’s such a beautiful evening.
Atalanta, whispering: Take that you fucking lake
-
Atalanta: This is a mistake
Willow, enthusiastically: A mistake we're going to laugh about one day!
Atalanta: But not today
Willow, still enthusiastic: Oh, no. Today's going to be a mess
-
Gus: Jail is no fun. I’ll tell you that much.
Willow: Oh, you’ve been?
Gus: Once. In Monopoly.
-
Gus, trying to cheer the group up: Things could be worse, you know!
Luz: How?
Gus: How what?
Luz: How could they be worse?
Gus: They couldn’t, I lied.
Luz:
-
Gus: Okay, truth or dare?
Hunter: Truth
Gus: How many hours have you slept this week?
Hunter:
Hunter: ...Dare
Gus: Go to bed.
Hunter: I don’t like this game.
-
Camila: *Trying to fill out legal paperwork stuff* Were you guys born AMAB or AFAB?
Hunter: Bold of you to assume I was born at all.
Atalanta: I personally was created in a lab.
Vee: I just straight up spawned lol.
-
Cop: You’re receiving a ticket for having three people on one motorcycle.
Gus: Shit.
Willow: Wait, three?
Cop: Yeah?
Amity: OH MY GOD VEE FELL OFF!!!
-
Willow: Isn’t it weird that we pay money to see other people?
Gus: Plane tickets?
Amity: Concert tickets?
Vee: Prostitution?
Willow, holding their broken frames: Glasses.
-
Gus, setting down a card: Ace of spades
Willow, pulling out an Uno card: +4
Amity, pulling out a Pokémon card: Jolteon, I choose you
Luz, trembling: What are we playing
-
Darius, tending to Hunter's wounds: How would you rate your pain?
Hunter: Zero stars. Would NOT recommend.
-
Adrian: Attie, I only ever see you awake, do you ever shut down or stop running?
Atalanta: Oh, I’m always running
Atalanta: The question is from what
-
Hunter: I think I'm having a mid-life crisis.
Darius: You're like 15 years old
Hunter: I MIGHT DIE AT 30!
-
Collector, holding a python: Guys I impulsively bought a snake, what do I name him
King: You did WHAT–
Luz: William Snakepeare
-
Collector: Hey King,
King: Yes?
Collector: Can a person breathe inside a washing machine while it’s on?
King:
King: Where’s Luz?
-
Collector: We need a distraction.
King: Is anyone here good at jumping up and down and making weird noises?
Luz, whispering: My time has come
-
Eberwolf: Yo is Adrian sleeping or dead?
Raine: Hopefully dead, I hated their guts.
Darius: Yeah, so did I.
Adrian: Okay first of all, fuck you-
-
Eberwolf: Hah! 69! You know what that means?
Raine: What?
Darius: That you're a child.
Adrian: HOW'D YOU GUESS MY IQ!?
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