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#tw mental breakdown
jell-o101 · 7 days
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TW // Eyestrain / Mental Breakdown
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BGM - Sparks - Gris
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ACT 1
ACT 2
ACT 3 - 1 <<< 13 / ⚡️ / ?
Depression
✨Animation time✨
You likey??? Put my heart and soul into this one.
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s0fti3w1tch · 9 months
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CW: Implied Cult Trauma, Blood, Spiraling, Self-hate/Self-Blame
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Tentative Devotee Minisode: First Mission Mishap
further context is this + this!
Welcome back to Tentative Devotee :} Turns out the reason I couldn't release separated au poll stuff today was because I was working on this! My method of drawing comics has sort of changed and I'm having a rough go of getting back into it (+... yknow the personal stuff too.) Regardless. Enjoy this dip back into the comics. Please don't mind missing details or minor mistakes. The past two months have been a lot for me
Tentative Devotee AU Masterpost (To be updated again soon!)
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murderluv23 · 2 months
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Time to give my Lucifer's son headcanons because they've been stewing in my head for years and now having solid material for canon everything can be fresh and consistent. No. I don't have self control. Let's go.
He's shorter than Lucifer. Like just below his shoulder.
Right now, banking on his name being Azazel. (Can change, though.)
Azazel is far more stoic and stern than both Lucifer and Charlie.
Most people are terrified of him due to his unreadable expression and general quiet nature.
Plus this freakish thing he does with his eyes where they go all black and he stares coldly ahead. It makes people feel like their heart is being swallowed by a black hole. He's silent and frozen to the spot every time and so are the people who have the misfortune of seeing it.
Azazel has the "family red cheeks" and is the spitting image of Lucifer. People mistake him for his father all the time and can only tell the difference from the fact Azazel is smaller.
And the dark circles. Azazel constantly has dark circles under his eyes and wearing a frown. He is consistently stressed and overworked.
Azazel takes the duties to his family and Hell very seriously. He refuses to budge on it.
Azazel was the golden boy of the family.
Despite his moodiness, him and Lucifer have always gotten along.
Lucifer has been frightened of interacting with Azazel. Like he freaks out with Charlie. Surprise, surprise he's a mess. But it's more due to how strict he is.
Lucifer doted on Azazel since he was a baby and gave him a lot of attention. He had him on his lap to exhaustion. To the point he panicked and thought he lost his only son if he couldn't see him there.
Spoilers: He was either on Lucifer's back or with Lilith.
Lucifer showered Azazel with fatherly kisses whenever he "found" him.
Azazel kept Lucifer's first ever made duck and refused to go anywhere without it. Azazel still has it and keeps it on his person.
Fuck around and find out by trying to take it or damage it. Go ahead.
Azazel crafted himself a duck onesie to wear when he was younger and rushed to Lucifer to show him. Saying and I quote "This duckie you made was perfect".
Lucifer was deceased for like two weeks minimum. He couldn't function. He had to be moved manually. Calls to Lilith were either dead silence with Lucifer staring at the ceiling or Lucifer crying and squealing incoherently about it. Lilith's and Charlie's phone were blown up with countless photos of Azazel with edits of anything cutesy he could find.
Azazel spent most of it in his onesie and sitting on Lucifer's chest to make sure he wasn't dead.
Azazel struggles with depression and paranoia.
Lucifer took it upon himself to pacify him every time.
They had a close relationship but Lucifer had difficulty touching Azazel because he would freak out via violent demonic outbursts because of Azazel's difficulty with conceptualizing anyone approaching him for affection rather than danger. Lucifer going for a hug or any simple touch was an uphill battle of trial and error.
Lucifer had to craft things that trained Azazel's responses to understand the situation. Lucifer had little polkadotted bean bags in his hands and made them visible so Azazel understood he was going for a hug and there was no danger.
This was after countless times Lucifer had to just slowly inch towards Azazel before he got a positive response and Azazel came to hug him on his own accord.
Azazel had breakdowns bad enough to shake all of Hell. Most of them happened due to Charlie.
Lucifer was quick to go in the danger zone to sooth him after asking Charlie what she did that time.
"Whoa! That was close! Have you been practicing, sweetie? That's so great. Hahaha."- Lucifer, after dodging countless knives and angel spears Azazel aimed every which way at him, including his head.
Azazel always was in a ball crying his eyes out in Lucifer's arms after ages of him destroying everything.
Azazel hasn't cried since he was little.
Azazel can travel through dimensions and provides knowledge to humanity. It's a role he plays.
Azazel can shapeshift into anything. But he has a wolf form with a snake tail.
Lucifer has described Azazel as sweet as a puppy, both as a pun and because he genuinely finds his son to be a sweetheart. No one believes him. That boy has never cracked a smile in front of anyone.
Azazel genuinely wishes the best for his father and does everything he does because he's seen how the years have weighed on him.
Azazel is loyal to a fault and does everything within his power just to make Lucifer happy. That includes workload.
Lucifer regrets how some of his habits as a parent has made Azazel so overly disciplined and serious.
Azazel and Charlie have a strained relationship. Really strained.
Azazel believes the Hazbin Hotel is childish and shaming their family. While also giving Lucifer unnecessary stress. Azazel doesn't appreciate Charlie calling Lucifer to ramble about her playing in a sandbox.
Charlie, when asked about her younger brother, says he creeps her out. Majorly. Like- The Shining twins level of creeps her out.
Him possibly entering the Hazbin Hotel is her worst nightmare.
Basically, Azazel is like what people expected Lucifer to be like.
Azazel is highly polite in speech and mannerisms. But that is just more nerve wracking
There's always this air of "if you have one eyelash out of place, you're dead".
Charlie still has her people pleasing attitude with him. In fact, she doubles down.
Unfortunately, Azazel is never amused and sees through any attempts to pacify him. He's short and cold as ice.
Charlie can't comprehend why, despite them being siblings, Azazel feels like a stranger who couldn't care less is some random demon ate her or something. As long as it didn't inconvenience their father.
Azazel and Charlie never sat down for a conversation when they were younger.
Charlie has only seen Lucifer doting on him from afar.
Azazel resents Charlie for how she's treated him.
Azazel is a teen.
Azazel shares musical talent with his family.
Lucifer says he has a phenomenal voice and encourages him to actually get into singing and dancing. But Azazel always turned it down out of shame.
Lucifer always sung Azazel lullabies. Especially when he had nightmares and cried for him.
Lucifer still does. What? He wants his baby boy to get good sleep. He won't do it himself.
Azazel acquired his talent for singing through memorizing Lucifer's tones when he sung him to sleep.
Azazel hums his favorite lullaby from Lucifer to calm himself.
Azazel's favorite food is macarons and chocolate cakes. Though he doesn't eat them because they are unhealthy.
Lucifer spoiled him with them when he was small.
Azazel loves teas. So long as they are plain or natural without any sugars or added things.
Azazel believes Charlie is fake.
Azazel exclusively calls his sister Charlotte.
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cosmoshard · 2 years
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Leo Angst? Nah
Raph angst? YES!
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snowe-zolynn-rogers · 7 months
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I feel like Eclipse would have the type of mental breakdowns where you’d find him eating like a tub of ice cream or a whole gallon of iced coffee, or a whole bag of raw almonds at 4am.
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keakruiser · 2 months
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Penguin AU Part 6
As promised, here's Part 6 of the Penguin AU! And it's the longest one so far. Brace yourselves!
TW: Blood, Violence, PTSD, Character Death, Mental Breakdown
As the Koopa guards take Mario to the wedding hall, they hear a loud commotion through the doors. When they open it... they are greeted by absolute chaos. Koopas getting whooped around. Penguins all around the hall fighting Bowser's minions (DK and KP had freed them as planned). And Toad and Peach helping KP deal with Kamek. And with the famed Koopa King nowhere in sight. The shock of the guards is enough for Mario to break free and join in the fight.
Meanwhile, Luigi and Lumalee are reaching the wedding hall, having successfully sneak past the few guards outside. They hear the chaos going on outside and are about to check it out when an all too familiar gruff voice steps in. "Well, well, well. Think you could escape me, you overgrown chicken?"
Luigi tries to escape, but Bowser is too fast for him and grabs him by the throat. In a rage, Bowser insults Luigi on thinking he could ever do anything to save his people or his brother. Bowser is about to burn Luigi to a crisp, but Lumalee quickly pokes Bowser's eyes, giving Luigi the time to break free. Thinking fast, Luigi guides Bowser to a stone pillar as he charges, stunning him. Luigi and Lumalee then escape to the wedding hall.
They are shocked at the chaos around them, but there is not time to think. For Kamek is ahead, and he finally has KP in his claws.
Luigi is frozen, traumatic memories of his torture returning. It's almost as if he's in a daze. It takes Lumalee shaking him and KP yelling in pain as Kemek digs his claws into KP's neck to snap Luigi out of it.
In a flash, Lumalee goes to help Toad, who's dazed, while Luigi runs to Kamek, determined to protect KP.
Fun little fact: when Luigi runs to Kamek, KP's robe is flowing, exposing his sweater underneath, and it looks similar to this (imagine this is Penguin Luigi wearing a green sweater instead of Mario and the robe is the cape):
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Luigi leapt onto Kamek, a battle cry escaping his beak, KP is stunned at the sight of Luigi beating Kamek furiously. Blood pours from the magikoopa's nose due to Luigi's adrenaline filled strength, much to his surprise. This comes as a shock to Peach too, as she wasn't expecting Luigi to be there. She's relieved Luigi's there though, they'll need all the backup they could get.
Suddenly, an enraged Bowser bursts into the hall, smoke bellowing from his nose. "WHERE ARE YOU YOU PUKE-FACED CHICKEN?" This stops everyone except Luigi and Kamek, who are still going at it. Bowser rushes to the duo to get Luigi, but a red penguin leaps onto his face. "DON'T-A YOU DARE HURT-A MY BROTHER!" Peach's and Toad's faces lights up with joy, relieved and happy that their friend is alive! Peach runs over to help Mario, as does KP.
Eventually, after much struggle, despite his injuries, Luigi is eventually the victor as he beats Kamek into submission and breaks his wand. This takes a tool on him though, as he now has more bruises and is very drained.
Back with Bowser, Despite KP and Mario and Peach getting good hits, Bowser eventually pushes all of them off of them and stomps KP down HARD. This leads to KP having several broken ribs. Mario pushes KP out of the way before Bowser could kill him, but before Mario could do anything else, Bowser nabs Peach and squishes her. "Surrender now, or she dies!"
Feeling torn, Mario surrenders. Bowser then drops Peach and delivers punch after punch after punch, beating Mario badly. Luigi witnessing this, goes BALLISTIC and runs toward Bowser again. Right before Bowser could burn him, Luigi pushes him out of the way. KP then jumps at Bowser again screaming "This is for what you did to my subjects you foul fiend!"
However, this turned out to be a bad move as Bowser quickly grabs KP, throws him into the sky and slits his throat with his claws.
In that moment, everything stops for Mario and Luigi as they watch KP's lifeless body flop onto the ground, blue feathers tainted in blood, eyes opened in a dead stare. Mario is ENRAGED and attacks Bowser again. Luigi however stares. Memories of good times with him and KP come to him. His old crush come over himT ears pour down his cheeks. He then breaks down into tears, until another cry is heard. Luigi looks up in time to see Mario fly at Luigi. When Luigi looks down... he sees Mario's throat slit as well.
At this, Luigi's heart stops. Mario. KP. Both were now dead. His king was dead. His precious brother was dead. And this time, Mario was gone for real. And it was all because of him. If had just acted faster. If he had just avoided being captured in the first battle in the Snow Kingdom. If he was there with his brother from the start. If he wasn't so weak... His chest compresses. He couldn't breathe. He couldn't breathe! And with that, an anguished scream echoes from Luigi's beak.
Everything after that is a blur. All Luigi remembers is him leaping onto someone, feeling something wet and warm in his mouth and fins, and then falling.
He vaguely hears Peach and the other penguins calling his name in horror, but his senses are overrun by emotion to care. He wanted Bowser dead. He felt cool air on his naked skin as he fell with the Koopa King, then it got warmer and then he felt two blue Luma nubs grab him and pull him upwards.
What happened was this: Luigi in his breakdown, had leapt onto Bowser and bit down on his throat hard enough to draw blood. Bowser had roared in pain, trying to claw Luigi off, but to no avail. As they struggled, Bowser had stumbled backwards to the edge of the hall with a pool of lava below and they both fell over it. Luigi would have died with Bowser that day had Lumalee not flew over and nabbed him just in time.
As Lumalee drags Luigi to the top, Luigi looks at KP and Mario's bodies again. Pain panged on his chest. Tears cloud his eyes as he looks at the lifeless shells of KP and his brother. As the other penguins gather around and bow in respect, Luigi holds them close and bawls louder than anyone in the room. It was all his fault. All his fault...
However, hope was not lost. For Toad and Lumalee both pulled out green, 1-up Mushrooms as fast as they could. With no time left to spare, they push the shrooms down the corpses' mouths and wait. At first, nothing. But then, KP and Mario's bodies glow a bright light. When the light clears, their wounds are healed. And then...
*GASP* The gasps the King and red Penguins give are enough to have the penguin army cheer with joy. KP and Mario look around, seeing the sight and are a bit confused as to what happened and why Bowser is no longer there. Then they see the stunned green penguin in front of them, who cannot believe what happened. Seeing the blood on Luigi and the tears in his eyes, they both rush to his side and ask what happened. Luigi's breathing begins to accelerate as he sees KP and Mario touching him. Alive. Healed. His precious brother. His mighty king. His brother...
As Mario wipes Luigi's tears, Luigi lets out another great bellow of tears. Mario is all too willing to hold Luigi once more. He wasn't sure of what happened. But it didn't matter. Bowser was gone now. And he was there to comfort Luigi no matter what. The two hold each other for a looong time. Long after Peach explained the situation to KP on how Luigi pushed Bowser off the edge.
Mario ends up having to carry the sobbing Luigi to the exit, as he's still in tears, though not crying as hard as he was before, and weak from his injuries. As they step foot onto Mushroom Kingdom soil, Peach offers a prepostion: Mario and Luigi could stay in the Mushroom Kingdom for a while so that both of them could recover until Luigi's feathers grow back and they both would feel well enough to return. KP and the Bros agree, but not before KP bows to Luigi in respect for defeating Bowser, as do the rest of the Penguin army. KP promises to let the Bros. family of what happened as he and the other penguins go into the warp pipe back to the Snow Kingdom.
That night, Mario and Luigi spend the night in a spare room in Peach's castle, hugging each other and crying in each other's arms. Grateful to be with each other again.
@itsavee4117 @pianokantzart @jell-o101 @silenzahra @vulpixfairy1985 @goatztorm
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jaxfromthatcircus · 4 months
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Do you remember all the puppet stuff…
TW: MENTAL BREAKDOWN
★After he finally sent that son of a whiny bitch of a demon back to his place in hell... Going back to his room was a hassle, standing up straight even more. Jax felt icky, he felt disgusting and the voices inside his head grew louder with each step. He got inside in a rush and locked his door, throwing the key to the other side... And broke down, crying and falling to his knees. He hugged his body. ★
★He's extremely overwhelmed and should probably be left alone now.★
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hargrove-mayfields · 1 year
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Starlight in your eyes of blue
Warnings: unregulated obsessive compulsive disorder, derealization, panic attacks, accidental self-injury, intrusive thoughts, depression, mentions of character death (not real), ableism, and past child abuse.
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One. Two. Steve’s squishy. Three.
Tap. Tap. Two fingers. Tap.
Billy’s stuck in a pattern, a compulsion. If he stops Steve won’t get home safe. He’ll lose sight of his phone, and Steve will try to call him and get worried when he doesn’t answer, so he’ll speed home and run off the road and-
One. Two. Steve’s squishy. Three.
Cell phone. Keys. Three and a half. Glasses case.
Billy’s arm is tired and he’s pretty sure he’s dehydrated from the way his head is pounding, but there’s only a few minutes until Steve gets home and then he’ll stop.
Stop. Stop sign. Yellow light. Green, go, too fast, gone. It’s time for Steve to be home but he’s still not home and Billy’s scared. He must’ve done something wrong. Forget the tapping. Are the candles lit? The doormat tilted just a little to the left? Did he remember to button Steve’s shirt from bottom top instead of top to bottom?
The worry overwhelms him like he’s never felt it before. Really he feels it every time Steve goes away, even if just for a few minutes. His heart couldn’t withstand anything happening to his best friend and lover. Real grief sets in his chest and it hasn’t even happened yet.
He bites his nails.
Until they’re raw.
Until his hands are bleeding, or were they already from the blisters on his fingertips?
Is he breathing?
God his chest hurts.
Billy’s brain doesn’t turn itself back on until he feels Steve’s arms around him, and hears his voice in his ear.
“.....I’m here.. Can you hear me?.. Baby please…”
Billy doesn’t respond yet, he only leans back into the safe embrace. Still, he doesn’t quite feel relief yet. If anything, his heart only grows heavier. A few shaky breaths brace him to speak.
“Stevie. I didn’t mean to kill you. I love you. I'm so sorry..” His voice cracks like he’s using all the force he has, because he needs Steve to know how he feels.
Because to him, this doesn’t feel real. Not the connection to Steve’s embrace, nor the floor underneath him. (When did he sit down? Did he fall? He can’t remember…)
Steve’s voice cuts through the haze like it’s projecting on a speaker, distant and warbled, “Billy, listen. You’re having a panic attack.”
It doesn’t help to comfort Billy this deep into his panic, “No. I- I- You gotta listen to me. Baby, I.. killed you. And I’m sorry. I wanted to protect you, I swear.”
“It’s okay. How about this, can you do something else for me?” Steve sounds worried. And sad.
Billy nods as a way to silently agree to do whatever Steve needs him to. His mind reasons, in this state, that if they can’t be together physically anymore, he’ll make sure Steve isn’t mad at him when he disappears.
His head hurts.
“Tell me five things you see right now.” Steve requests of him.
It takes a lot of concentration for Billy to be able to see anything at all. His eyes dart around looking for the right things, indecisive and overwhelmed by how much is in this room. It feels cluttered. Unsafe. Unfamiliar.
He brings his thoughts back to his Steve.
“The carpet. It’s brown. A-And the curtains. They’re letting too much sun in. The beams. Th-The house could catch on fire-” Billy’s breath catches in his throat just as Steve hugs him tighter, a quiet way of asking him to keep going that Billy is going to do his best to follow.
“Um, I think I see the cracks in the wall. The ones that look like spiderwebs. And the couch. I’m sorry I didn’t fold the blanket. I can do it now. Wait, sorry. Um.. I see our picture. The date one. It reminds me of when you’re here. I miss you a lot. I’m sorry.”
“Hey, hey. I’m here. I’m with you Billy.” Steve promises before Billy can get too upset, and once again tries to encourage him, “Can you keep going? Four things you hear?”
Billy’s throat feels dry from talking, but he refuses to give up.
“Right. Birds singing on the tree. In the tree. In the backyard. In the grass. I can probably hear the wind too. Maybe I left a window open somewhere, that’s not safe, is it? But I gotta- I have to finish this for Steve.” Billy takes a deep, if not shaky, breath, a few of them actually, before finishing quickly, a slow progression into security, “Phone buzzing and the clock ticking. Ticking.”
Until the clock triggers something worse. Billy has to count one through twelve for each hour at each tick of the clock until the next good number, which is the eight right now. The minute hand is their savior in ending this cycle several minutes later, since the hour is only five in the evening.
Despite the obvious setback, his Steve doesn’t give up on him. He just gently prompts more progress to make up for it. “Good. How about three things you feel?”
A good bit of time passes while Billy’s brain tries to distract him by listening to the clock ticks again, only he fights it. He powers through and tunes into his sense of touch instead, “Flannel. My shirt is made of soft flannel. It has snap buttons too. So they’re metal and cold. I feel cold. But also warm. I think I feel you. Your arms around me.”
“Exactly. That’s my love, okay? That’s my love with you.” Steve doesn’t sound scared anymore, so Billy must be doing a good job. He feels prepared already for Steve’s next question, and even predicts it in his own head first, “What else, do you smell two things?”
“Not burning. Nothings on fire, I promise. Just the candles. The white and black ones. To protect you. They smell like cologne. And I think the grass. Because the window is open.” Billy knows he’s explaining too much, but it makes him feel better. Now that he feels more safe, talking to Steve just feels nice in general.
One final thing to concentrate on to bring him back to himself from those spiraling depths of his disorder, “And just one thing you taste.”
That’s harder, because it’s been a while since he’s eaten anything. Shit today was really bad, all he’s had since the bagel he ate when he woke up was a stick of gum. He didn’t realize how bad this had gotten before it pushed over the boiling point.
“Mint. Just mint.”
With the concern for Billy’s safety addressed, and only after making sure he’s okay enough, Steve leaves him to get other things to take care of him. While he’s gone, so things don’t go bad again, Billy lays on his back and just breathes. In the nose, out through his mouth, sighing like it will let go of all the aching with his breath.
Maybe he dozed off, or just didn't think about anything at all for a moment, but it startled him when Steve came back, carrying a light blanket and a big reusable water bottle. That final, somewhat harsh pull back to reality sent him spinning through gravity, blinking the blur away as he processes Steve next to him, lifting his head to help him drink.
“Steve?” Billy rasps, hearing in his own voice that he’d been crying, though he hadn’t realized.
Steve responds gently, while laying Billy’s head back down on a balled up jacket that he also hadn’t noticed being placed there, and putting a wet rag on his forehead, “My love.”
“Did I mess up again?” Billy’s almost afraid to ask. His entire life Billy was called crazy. Punished for not being able to prevent these things from happening sometimes. At least they happen less now that he’s happy. Happy with Steve, who won’t get mad.
But the guilt he feels doesn’t discriminate between past and present, or depression, or anything else.
Steve has a big heart. He’s always got lots of love to give Billy, and reassurance. Maybe that’s part of the guilt, is that Steve helps him when he’s got his own worries and sensory issues to take care of.
He accepts Steve’s explanation regardless, the words, “No. You did your best. You just got upset. And actually, I think I have an idea how we can help it next time,” bringing him immense comfort.
~~~
He shouldn’t take the credit, it was Chrissy’s idea actually.
She has a guide dog that helps with her depleting vision, and more so with her PTSD. Something about the weight of her fuzzy friend laying on her chest, even as small as Chrissy seems compared to her big oaf of a poodle named Cuppy Cake, brings her back every time.
She suggested that Billy try getting a companion while she, Cuppy Cake, and Steve had gone running errands together just a few days before Billy’s big attack.
Now more than ever it’s clear something needs to be changed though, and they all figure a service dog might help.
If that doesn’t work out, adopting a furry friend might help cheer him up anyways.
The few days since the incident have been gloomy, with Billy’s hands in bandages and his eyes brimmed with tears everytime he looks at them. He barely smiles, or moves from his safe spot on the corner of the couch. It breaks Steve’s heart.
He throws out the idea on a random Saturday when Billy is zoned out over his cereal bowl, counting the pieces into clumps and only eating even numbers of them. A subtle obsession that Steve keeps a close eye on before it gets too dangerous again.
That’s why he interrupts, because Billy’s been trying to eat this bowl for hours, and it’s getting too soggy, and soggy cereal makes Billy’s palette feel gross, and that’s just going to cause a sensory overload.
“I wanna get a dog.”
Billy doesn’t look like he takes it seriously, even making a joke, “Miss Churro not good enough for you anymore?”
Steve’s ima’s elderly chihuahua. Yeah, he loves visiting her at his old house, but that stinky old pup isn’t exactly what Steve had in mind.
He clarifies, “I don’t think Churro would be a good service dog though.”
“Oh.” The answer is so simple, Steve almost thinks Billy didn’t hear what he said. But then Billy’s lip wobbles and there’s more tears in his eyes.
He curls up his hinds and rubs the tears away, over and over until his face is bright red, and Steve decides to step in and hold his hands in his own so he can keep them down on the table top instead, “What’s wrong, blue?”
A sob sneaks out of Billy’s throat. He’s probably overwhelmed and can’t speak, maybe even upset. Change isn’t good for Billy’s routines.
Instantly, Steve tries to fix it, feeling a hint of regret for bringing it up, “We don’t have to get one. It was just an idea, baby. I promise I won’t make you.”
But then Billy shakes his head, and Steve is confused. He doesn’t know what that means.
“No you don’t want a dog?” Steve gently squeezes Billy’s left hand to assign it that meaning that he spoke, to let Billy use his hands to communicate instead of his words. The right hand option means, “Or you do and you don’t want me to change my mind?”
Still crying, but a little softer, the tears are contextualized as happy ones, because Billy squeezes Steve’s right hand back. He likes the idea.
~~~~
His name is Scorp. The 60 pound pit bull is about knee tall on Billy, and can tackle him down in seconds.
Well, it’s more like affectionately pulling on his clothes until he sits down, and then Scorp pushes him over for deep pressure therapy. But still. He’s a big boy.
He’s Billy’s big boy.
His service dog.
The reason he can finally leave the house for the first time in, well, twenty-two years without feeling like something bad will happen. And if he still has those intrusive thoughts, he knows he has his buddy to help in ways Steve can’t always provide.
He loves Steve, and he loves Scorp. Like a little family of their own.
And he is happy.
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also on ao3
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Character Goes "Insane" and "Snaps Out of It"
Anonymous asked: Hello! I hope you’re doing well! 😊 I’d like tips on how to write a scene where a character who has snapped and gone completely insane softens or snaps out of it when they see their love interest dying (because of them), without it being unrealistic or just poorly developed/thought through/written. Context: MC snaps after numerous events that made them more and more deranged and the last straw was finding out their love interest betrayed them, so they kinda destroy their love interest’s country and when they’re about to deal the final blow to their love interest, they can’t do it.
Note: This ask came in off Anon, but since they--like most of us--are in the process of unlearning harmful information drilled into us by society and the media, I thought it best to put it on Anon for their protection. Please remember we're all in this process of unlearning and relearning together! ♥
Unfortunately, even today, the behaviors resulting from mental illnesses and other neurological conditions aren't well understood by the general public. There's still a lot of harmful beliefs and offensive terminology being perpetuated in the mainstream, and it looks like you have yet to start the unlearning process. So, let's unlearn together! ♥
Issue #1 - Outside of its continued use as a term in criminal law, the word "insanity" is outdated and meaningless. It dates to a time before specific mental illnesses and neurological conditions had been identified to explain associated behaviors. Even if your story is set in a time or place when mental illnesses and neurological conditions aren't understood or labeled, as a 21st century writer, you still need to know and understand the mental illness or neurological condition responsible for your character's behavior. You can't just have them experience increasing psychosis as a result of various traumatic events. You can start by researching the relationship between trauma, mental illnesses, and neurological conditions to learn which specific mental illnesses or neurological conditions may be responsible for your character's behavior.
Issue #2 - When someone has a mental illness or neurological condition that worsens over time and causes an increase in associated behaviors, that doesn't just go away in an instant due to some moment of emotional appeal. There are mental illnesses and neurological conditions that are characterized by episodes of associated behaviors interspersed with periods of improvement, but again, it wouldn't be a gradual slide to experiencing psychosis full-time that suddenly vanishes because a light bulb went on. Fortunately, this is something you should be able to figure out as you figure out exactly what is happening with your character and how it would affect their behavior/role in the story.
Issue #3 - Since mental illnesses and neurological conditions are many and varied, and many people are living with more than one, I can't tell you how to write this scene, because how to write this scene depends on the specific mental illness/es and/or neurological condition/s your character is living with and the specific behaviors they experience as a result. Only you can figure that out after you do the necessary research. Until that time, you're not ready to write this story without it being both harmful and offensive. The good news is, there is a ton of information available online, and if you put in the time and work to do the research and learn, you should be able to portray this character and scene in a way that is believable and well done. I would also suggest that before you share this story with an audience, you should look for a sensitivity reader with experience in whichever mental illness/es and/or neurological condition/s you decide make the most sense for your character. That way they can vet your portrayal to make extra sure it isn't harmful or offensive.
Here are some links to help with research:
WQA’s Guide to Internet Research Writing About Difficult to Research Topics
Best of luck with your research and story! ♥
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joltik-guy · 21 days
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... How long with I be stuck here?
I don't like this.
I don't want to be her i don't want to be me I don't want to exist as I am I don't I can't keep doing this
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waitingforthesunrise · 11 months
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“You see, people think it makes you stronger. As though I have lungs of steel from all the knives that have punctured them., diamond ribs from holding my breath. But it isn’t true…when I fall apart —which I will, today or tomorrow or next week— it won’t be betrayal. It won’t be bombs. It will be your voice, quiet and practical, asking if I’d like a drink of water. That’s when I’ll shatter; into a million pieces of you. 
It might be a relief. A release, at least; to stop trying and fall to the ground and never get up, not ever, not for work or for life or for you. To finally admit that nothing seems to tempt me to stay. That nothing is strong enough to bind me here. I’m pleading, silently: grab me, keep me, hold me in place. Just don’t act so damn fine. 
I’m afraid that’s the last thing I’ll think, sliding to the floor, minutes slipping through my fingers like water. The darkness feels like home. Is it true? Is it a homecoming? 
It’s your complacency that will crush me in the end.”
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bioniclemanga · 1 month
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[ Chapter 8 - Page 13 ]
[ Previous ] -- [ Next ]
At some point, I'll figure out how to accurately draw that shattering effect... but for now, you get this haha
Anyway. Poor, poor Lewa...
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loaflovesdoodling · 6 months
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some doodles from yesterday night based on a roleplay I had with @monsterhatdoodles (Y'ALL ARE NEVER GONNA GET ANY CONTEXT ON THIS MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH)
TW: EXTREME ANGST UNDER CUT (ESPECIALLY THE FOURTH ONE OOPS)
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liminal-corp · 8 months
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♪ Another Voice ♪
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Can you believe it still took us another few years after this to figure it out?
This moment was pretty vivid for us, it was the clearest I’d ever heard another alter back then. Unfortunately when it happened we’d no idea what DID/OSDD even was but we got there a few years later with a little help haha
So it goes huh?
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pupsconfetti · 9 months
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hello tumbleinas. i have been made aware we are in an abusive relationship. enjoy this because i still love all of you. xoxo ur mom
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follow @hi-there-cake​ for more banger ghost eyes content
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whumpdrivethru · 9 months
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can I order some delirium? confusion, disorientation... maybe with a side of thinking caretaker is whumper?
thanks! 💖💖💖
Hi dear! So sorry for the wait, the hustle got the best of me… But I’m here to serve now! Enjoy 💖
PS: You didn’t specify if you wanted caramel or chocolate sauce (aka pronouns), so I self-indulged with the sprinkles, I hope that’s alright!
- Max
They stumbled inside Caretaker’s room with their eyes glazed over and their breathing shallow. Their mind was blank, so impossibly blank, and they felt unable to form a coherent sentence. Instead, they just stood there, staring into space. Swimming in darkness.
“Whumpee?” Caretaker called softly, frowning. “Hey, what’s wrong?” He stood up promptly from his bed and walked up to them.
They shook their head several times, lips parted, eyes wide with the pupils dilated like they had been drugged. Their dazed silence was terrifying to Caretaker.
“Is it Whumper?” he asked. “What did he do? Whumpee, talk to me, what did he do?”
Upon another absence of reaction on their part, he guided them to the bed and sat them down. Their head bowed mechanically, and so he crouched in front of them to be at eye level with them. He rubbed their knee hoping it would be of some comfort, feeling his own stomach twist into knots with how powerless he was in helping them. They were an empty shell, like their very soul had been stolen. They didn’t even seem to know where they were.
“What has he done this time? Did he give you something? Did he hurt you?”
Still nothing. He placed a hand on their shoulder to try and get them to at least acknowledge his presence. That was when their voice returned.
“NO!” Their face contorted in terror as they stared at Caretaker. “Don’t touch me! Whumper, please, no!”
His blood ran cold. “Whumpee, Whumpee, it’s me! It’s me, it’s Caretaker!” He cupped their face to get them grounded.
But they looked haunted, and they were still thrashing and sobbing and shouting. “No no NO! I don’t want you in my head, PLEASE!”
They pushed themself up and lunged forward like they wanted to flee, but their knees buckled beneath them, and they tumbled down. They screamed as if their whole body were on fire and then curled up into a ball and rocked back and forth.
Caretaker rushed to their side. He hesitated before touching them but eventually gripped their shoulders and forced them to face him. “Whumpee—”
“No, no, Whumper, PLEASE!”
“HEY! Snap out of it!”
They kept begging and crying. Caretaker was out of ideas. The only thing he could come up with in that moment was slapping them. Hard.
It felt terribly wrong. He watched them freeze, and the apology hung on his tongue. Yet, the guilt subsided the second they gasped for air, as the fog cleared from their vision.
“Caretaker?” They swallowed thickly, glancing around with a disoriented expression. “What—”
He shushed them gently, but worriedly. “It’s alright, it’s just me. You’re safe, okay?” He helped them up and guided them back to the bed. “You’re alright. I’m here. No one will hurt you.”
Whumpee gave a slow nod as they let reality sink back in. Heavy, but relieved silence settled over them and remained for a couple of minutes.
“Can you tell me what happened?” Caretaker risked eventually.
“I…” They chewed on their thumb. “I was just having a drink with Whumper, like we usually do in the evening and then...” Their forehead creased as they tried to remember. “Then I think we had a fight. And he…” Their head throbbed and they fell silent again, wincing in pain.
“Then he, what?” Anger was starting to run like fire through Caretaker’s body. “What did the bastard do?”
They ran a hand through their hair, whispering softly. “I can’t remember.”
“Are you making excuses for him again?” he accused. His jaw set. “I keep telling you he’ll hurt you and you don’t listen. For god’s sake, Whumpee, when are you going to stop pretending that he is your friend? Stop protecting him!”
They gazed up at him with gray eyes filled with hurt. “You’re being unfair.”
“And you’re being stupid!”
They turned away slightly, pausing for a while. “I think he tried to brainwash me.” They held back the ‘again,’ though they both knew. Their tone was low and resigned.
Caretaker instantly felt bad for lashing out. “Gosh…” He sighed deeply and sat down next to them on the bed, rubbing his forehead. “Look… I’m sorry. It’s just… Every time is worse than the last one. I always pick up the pieces, and I’m... I’m worried.”
They stayed quiet for a minute. “I’m sorry, Caretaker.”
He sighed again. “No. Don’t be sorry.” He pulled them in gently, wrapping a protective arm around them and allowing their head to rest on his shoulder. “It’s not your fault.”
Silent tears welled up in their eyes. They let them roll down their cheeks and the crook of their neck as they leaned fully against him.
And Caretaker repeated the words, softly. ‘It’s not your fault.’
You've been served by Max! Leave a tip if you liked the meal :3
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