#tw miscarriage

[mysharona1987]

This sounds like something from The Handmaid’s Tale, ffs.

#News #texas #politics #the handmaid’s tale #tht #tw miscarriage #reproductive rights #linkedin #conservatives #democrats #republicans #donald trump #healthcare

[yuujispinkhair]

Tribe leader/Viking Sukuna headcanons

After seeing this fanart, a sweet anon sent me this prompt: "Imagine that you are a simple girl in another tribe who attracted the leader Sukuna who at that moment came to negotiate with the leader of your tribe, he became interested in you and decided to make you his wife and cooperate with your people. So you left with him and began to live with him and give birth to his heirs."

Thank you so much for sending me this! When I saw the art, I was thinking of something along those lines, too! The picture reminded me of the tv show Vikings, so the following headcanons take place in that time.

Pairing: Viking!Sukuna x Reader (female) Genre: Smut + fluff Word Count: 2.5k Warnings: 18+, smut, arranged/forced marriage, virginity loss, blood, breeding, pregnancy, slight lactation kink, having children, miscarriage (Sukuna comforts reader afterwards. He doesn't just want her because of the heirs she can give him), general mentions of violence and human sacrifices. All characters are of age. This story is 18+. Minors don't interact.

+ Tribe leader Sukuna, who is feared for his ruthlessness in battle and his strength that seems almost god-like. All the other tribes try to stay on his good side and forge alliances with him instead of giving him a reason to burn down their towns.

+ Tribe leader Sukuna, who looks so intimidating when he comes to visit your settlement. Tall and broad-shouldered with all those buff muscles on display and the bones of his enemies decorating his clothes.

+ Tribe leader Sukuna, who you can't take your eyes off when you and the rest of your tribe gather in your leader's throne room and watch the negotiations. He sends shivers down your spine, but not just in a fear-inducing way, if you are honest. He is so enticing. Powerful and intelligent, and so attractive.

+ Tribe leader Sukuna, who is such a beautiful man. His face is too pretty for a warrior. Not even his scars and tribal tattoos can hide his beauty. A smug smirk lifts the corners of his lips, and his voice is calm and confident. He moves gracefully like a big cat, beautiful but deadly. He is the most stunning man you have ever seen, and you hang on every word that falls from his lips as if he carries ancient magic in his voice.

+ Tribe leader Sukuna, whose icy blue eyes scan the crowd slowly, glittering like two precious jewels in the firelight illuminating the crowded room. Your breath catches in your throat when that intense gaze lands on you. You feel like a small animal trapped in the gaze of its hunter. Should you lower your head to show him your respect? Or will he take affront if you dare to look at anything else but him?

+ Tribe leader Sukuna, who takes the decision away from you when he smirks at you and laughs softly before he turns his attention back to your leader.

+ Tribe leader Sukuna, who announces his conditions for a peace treaty in a confident, demanding tone. The voice of a man who is used to getting what he wants. A man who knows he is too powerful to get turned down.

+ Tribe leader Sukuna, who suddenly points a long tattoed finger at you and speaks the words that will flip your whole world upside down, "And I want her."

+ Tribe leader Sukuna, who makes your heart drop with his demand, but all you can do is stare at him in a mix of fear and excitement. A murmur runs through the crowd, and already, several hands are pressing against your back, shoving you towards Sukuna, making you stumble and screech as you are about to fall at his feet.

+ Tribe leader Sukuna, who catches you before you hit the ground, his muscular arms holding you easily, an amused smirk lighting up his handsome face, light blue eyes glittering in amusement as he drawls teasingly, "Aww, someone's eager to become my little wife, huh?"

+ Tribe leader Sukuna, who makes you sit on his lap that evening when a big feast is held in his honor and to seal the peace treaty with your tribe. You barely dare breathe, full of fear as you sit on his strong, muscled thighs, gasping when one of his large hands wanders under your skirt to squeeze your thigh possessively.

+ Tribe leader Sukuna, who has two of his men stand guard in front of your door so no one will attack his future wife or maybe to prevent you from sneaking away. But you aren't even sure you want to run from him. Who are you here in your current tribe anyway? Just another orphan who grew up to help on one of the farms. Isn't this new role much more important? To be the bride of Ryomen Sukuna? To be a means that allows your tribe to prosper and ensures peace and trade with Sukuna?

+ Tribe leader Sukuna, whose large hand has a firm, unrelenting grip on your arm as he leads you to his horse the next morning. But he lets you say goodbye to all your loved ones, taking their blessings and well wishes with you before your future husband helps you onto his horse.

+ Tribe leader Sukuna, who is such a rough man, but whose hands are surprisingly gentle when he lifts you onto the back of his giant horse. He sits behind you, his firm muscles pressing against your back, rippling with every move he makes. His muscular buff arms cage you in, keeping you captive or keeping you safe. You can't tell which one of the two it is.

+ Tribe leader Sukuna, who makes a conflict rage in your chest. On the one hand, you are scared of this dangerous big man who has the power to just demand to have you as if you are some cattle. On the other hand, you can't deny that small hidden part of you that feels excited that such a powerful and attractive man desires you enough to want to make you his wife.

+ Tribe leader Sukuna, who makes your pulse flutter nervously when you feel his strong arms around you and hear him order his men around with his low, velvety voice, telling them to find a good resting place for the night.

+ Tribe leader Sukuna, who kisses you roughly on that first night. His large hands that cup your face are calloused, but his lips are warm, and his tongue is soft and so skilled when he pries your mouth open and licks into it. It's nothing like the shy, clumsy kisses you shared with the boys in your settlement. Sukuna is a feared warrior, a powerful tribe leader, someone who people believe is actually the son of a god. And you can feel all that in his kiss. Deep and intense, making your head spin and your body brim with a desire you have never felt before.

+ Tribe leader Sukuna, who rides with you again the next day and trails teasing kisses down your neck to pass the time during the long ride. You are sure he is fully aware of what he is doing to you. How he makes your heart race and makes a mix of fear and arousal throb in your veins. Especially when he grabs your chin to tilt your face up and capture your lips in a heated, wet kiss, licking unashamedly into your mouth in front of his men, showing everyone that you are his.

+ Tribe leader Sukuna, who whispers in your ear, "Are you scared of me, my little wife?" and then breaks out in loud, barking laughter when you exhale shakily and tell him, "Only a fool wouldn't be scared of you... but maybe I am also flattered that you picked me, my lord."

+ Tribe leader Sukuna, who still chuckles while his tongue licks a lazy stripe up the side of your neck, and he huskily tells you, "I am not a lord. I am a god. And I saw a goddess right there in that shabby throne room. I had to take you with me. It was a sign from the gods. You will give me such strong and beautiful children. Together, we can conquer the whole world."

+ Tribe leader Sukuna, who forces himself to keep his hands off you before your wedding night as a show of respect to the gods, but who lets you feel his desire for you when he hugs you from behind and presses his hardness against you once you have moved into his house.

+ Tribe leader Sukuna, who has you dressed in the finest garments for your wedding day. A beautiful red dress lined with gorgeous white ermine fur that was specifically made for you. Your neck, wrists, and ears are decorated with glittering gold and precious gemstones.

+ Tribe leader Sukuna, who makes you squeal when he swoops you up into his muscular arms and carries you into the ceremony hall, accompanied by the loud cheers of his people. Your hand is shaking when you exchange wedding rings with him, but you stay brave, speaking your vows and taking Sukuna's heavy sword when he offers it to you as his promise to protect you.

+ Tribe leader Sukuna, who sacrifices several of his enemies to the gods to ask for their blessings for your marriage and your fertility. He looks scary with the pattern painted onto his face with fresh blood. But at the same time, it makes him look feral in a way that makes an unknown heat throb between your legs.

+ Tribe leader Sukuna, who shares his food and mead with you on the decadent feast held after the wedding ceremony, where you sit on the throne next to his. One of his strong arms stays wrapped around your waist the whole evening, and the deep glances he sends your way make your skin tingle with anticipation.

+ Tribe leader Sukuna, who takes your virginity that night, making you cry out in pain when his thick cock splits you open for the first time. But his lips silence your cry, and soon you make other noises. Loud moans of pleasure fall from your lips as your new husband moves inside you with deep and sure thrusts that hit a spot inside you that makes you scratch the broad muscles of his back and arch up against Sukuna's huge body. Your cunt throbs around his cock as you find the sweetest and most intense release you ever had.

+ Tribe leader Sukuna, who afterward pushes two of his long fingers into your used cunt to push his seed back into you, leaning down to kiss you savagely and murmuring in your ear that he wants to see your belly hard and swollen with his heirs.

+ Tribe leader Sukuna, who paints his clan symbols on your face with a mix of your virginal blood and his cum, telling you that you are his forever and that you are blessed by the gods now too after taking his seed into you.

+ Tribe leader Sukuna, who is so proud when you show the first signs of pregnancy.

+ Tribe leader Sukuna, who becomes extremely protective and possessive now that you carry his heir. Who worships your body every night, cupping and kissing your swollen breasts, licking at the drops of milk that already spill from them, telling you it tastes like the nectar of the gods.

+ Tribe leader Sukuna, whose large rough hands caress your swollen belly gently, who kisses it, and talks to your unborn child, telling his son, as he predicts, that he will be born under the blessing of the gods. That he will become a great leader and a god himself one day.

+ Tribe leader Sukuna, who is triumphant when your first child is a boy with pink hair and a strong build and loud voice. A future leader just like his father. The first heir of many more to follow.

+ Tribe leader Sukuna, who is feared by everyone but treats his wife and newborn child with a gentleness that surprises you. He asks you to let him hold your baby and carry him in his strong arms. And the way Sukuna looks at your child tells you that he doesn't just see little Yuuji as an heir but as someone who has Sukuna's heart.

+ Tribe leader Sukuna, whose hungry and proud gaze follows you for days until he has you under him again, fucking you with hard, deep thrusts, moaning loudly, and pumping you full of his seed over and over again. "You gave me such a strong heir, my love. I know you'll give me so many more."

+ Tribe leader Sukuna, who rushes to your side when you have a miscarriage during your second pregnancy. Who hugs you to his broad chest, wipes the sweat and blood off you, and cradles you in his arms.

+ Tribe leader Sukuna, who kisses your tears away and reassures you when you are scared he will kick you out if you won't give him more heirs.

+ Tribe leader Sukuna, who shakes his head and tells you, "I mourn our unborn child, but I thank the gods for not taking my beloved wife away from me too. You are more to me than just a vessel that gives birth to my heirs. You are my wife, my companion, the one who the gods sent to me as my soulmate. I love you. Even if we have no more children, I will never take a new wife."

+ Tribe leader Sukuna, who you see in a new light after the reassurance and love he gave you on that day. And suddenly, you find yourself falling in love with your husband, too. You treat him more tenderly. You caress his soft hair when the two of you cuddle in your bed to keep each other warm. You kiss the tattoos on his face and smile at him, your heart fluttering when Sukuna smiles back at you and pulls you into a slow, tender kiss. You will never forget the happiness in his eyes when you tell him you love him too.

+ Tribe leader Sukuna, who fucks you thoroughly that night until the two of you are sweating and rolling around on top of the warm furs, kissing and caressing each other needily while he fills you with his hot seed until you are overflowing from it.

+ Tribe leader Sukuna, who is delighted when you give birth to your second child, and that child looks like the perfect mix of the two of you. He grins at you and tells you that this is clearly a child of love, conceived on the night you confessed your love to him.

+ Tribe leader Sukuna, who is actually a caring husband who truly treasures you. Who likes to spend his nights with you wrapped under the warm furs, making slow love while he kisses you deeply, rolling his hips with those slow, languid moves that make you sob his name and come undone so sweetly on his cock. 

+ Tribe leader Sukuna, who likes to hold you in his strong arms afterward, with your head resting on his broad chest and your small fingers tracing the tattoos on his chest and abs. He loves to talk to you for hours every night, telling you all about his day, about his current worries and plans, about political things and battle tactics, trusting you with all his secrets.

+ Tribe leader Sukuna, whose love fills you with warmth even on the coldest winter days. Your heart is held securely in his strong hands. And you know that no one will dare lay a hand on you or your children in fear of Sukuna's wrath. His strength and power make you feel safe here in your new home.

+ Tribe leader Sukuna, who teaches you how to enjoy sex to the fullest. Who teaches you how to ride his cock and his face. Who teaches you how to take from him too. Because he is your husband, and that means he belongs to you just as much as you belong to him.

+ Tribe leader Sukuna, who trusts you with ruling in his place during his absence. Who declares that anyone who disrespects you will get sacrificed to the gods.

+ Tribe leader Sukuna, who keeps you on his thick, strong cock all night before he has to leave for one of his various exploration trips or battles, savoring you to the fullest. Making sure to fuck you so good that you will still feel him for days after he set sail.

+ Tribe leader Sukuna, who pulls you into his arms one last time before he boards the ship, kissing you deep and long. And there is this burning love in his blue gaze when he tells you, "I will do anything in my power to come back to you, my love. I have the gods on my side. But if, for whatever reason, they should decide it is my time to enter Valhalla, then I want you to know that I will wait there until you join the afterlife, too, and I will come find you, no matter where you are."

+ Tribe leader Sukuna, who luckily doesn't go to Valhalla and always comes back to you with more scars on his gorgeous body but with the same love in his eyes.

AAAHHH I AM IN LOVE WITH HIM!!! This became much longer than I intended, but I really miss the show Vikings, and I love Viking!Sukuna to an insane amount, so it is what it is ;) This was, once again, very self-indulgent, but hopefully, some of my fellow Sukuna lovers will enjoy it too! Thank you so much to the nice anon who sent me that prompt!

Please let me know what you think. Comments and reblogs would be very sweet.

#sukuna x reader #sukuna smut #sukuna fluff #jjk x reader #sukuna #ryomen sukuna #jjk smut #jjk fluff #sukuna x you #tw pregnancy #tw miscarriage

[rapeculturerealities]

Trumbull County grand jury to hear abuse of corpse case after Brittany Watts miscarries in bathroom

Brittany Watts, 33, was overcome with emotion Thursday afternoon after learning her case is moving forward. Watts is charged with felony abuse of a corpse, accused of trying to plunge a toilet after having a miscarriage delivery at 22 weeks while using the restroom.

#Miscarriage #Ohio #Abortion #Reproductive rights #tw miscarriage

[anarchywoofwoof]

Scientists in Poland have reportedly developed lab tests that can detect whether people have taken abortion pills—and those tests are already being used to investigate pregnancy outcomes under the country’s abortion ban. This is an alarming development, to say the least, and unfortunately, it feels like it’s only a matter of time before a U.S. state replicates the effort. According to a bone-chilling piece in the New York Times, Polish scientists have developed tests that can identify both mifepristone and misoprostol, the drugs typically used in a medication abortion. (Though some people do use misoprostol alone.) The studies were part of a research project funded by the Polish government where researchers were able to find evidence of misoprostol in the placenta and mifepristone in a woman’s blood sample. A spokesperson for a prosecutor’s office in Wroclaw confirmed to the Times that Polish authorities have already used the tests to investigate pregnancy outcomes.

god damnit poland.

When abortion is banned, every miscarriage and stillbirth becomes a potential crime scene, and Poland is taking its already dystopian anti-abortion surveillance state to the next level. Poland created a national pregnancy registry in June 2022 and recently had police search the sewers for a fetus to try and prove a woman lied about having a miscarriage. In that case, the police collected her underwear, scissors she used to cut the umbilical cord, and blood from her floor for the investigation. They even wanted to funnel the contents of her home’s septic tank, but cleaners refused. Police claimed the woman lost her pregnancy “as a result of criminal actions” and prosecutors opened proceedings against her, only to drop them months later.

this is the type of shit that conservatives want in America so badly and they will stop at nothing to make sure it happens. this shit is vile.

[source: jezebel]

#tw abortion #tw miscarriage #abortion #reproductive rights #pro choice

[imtryingbuck]

Timeless Love.

~ gif not mine credit to owner ~

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x fem!Reader

Summary: Bucky might have met the love of his life in the middle of a war, he just wished he was able to live a life with her.

Word count: 6,598

Warnings: angst. kidnapping. fluff. Hydra. forced breeding. forced miscarriage.

A/N: enjoyed writing this!! Thank you for the request. Also thank you to @buckys-wintersoldier for helping me when I needed it!🤍

Masterlist

“Y/n L/n. 107th.”

She nodded smiling at her friend who had also been given the same unit. All the nurses - professional and volunteers alike were waiting for their names to be called to hear what unit they would be stationed with.

Then she was given the news that she was going to be the matron. And at twenty four years old that was a massive accomplishment, herself and her parents were beyond proud.

“Hey doc” she couldn’t help but roll her eyes at hearing the familiar voice that she began hearing everyday. “I’m injured doll, need your help to patch me back up”

Looking up for the clipboard she carried around she saw the Sergeant who had captured all the attention from all the nurses. Though he never paid any mind to them, just her.

James Buchanan Barnes.

“Firstly I’m not a doctor, just a nurse and secondly this is your seventh time coming here this week”

“Firstly you should be a doctor, better than the one we’ve got and secondly I keep getting hurt”

“Bucky… it’s only Wednesday.”

“You love me. Aren’t you going to ask me what my very serious injury is?”

“I don’t love you. Okay, what seems to be the problem Sergeant?”

“Y-you don’t love me? I’m going to cry myself to sleep tonight thanks to you!”

“What’s your injury Sergeant?”

“My heart” he places his hand on his chest and looks up at her sympathetically. “My heart hurts doll”

“James… you do realise that your heart is on the left side not the right…”

Moving his hand to the left side “Oh… are you sure?”

“Yes I’m sure” chuckling at his facial expression, he winks causing her to laugh.

“The truth is that I just wanted to see you, I like you even though you’re being mean to me” he pouts and bats his eyelashes as he kicked his legs back and forth.

“How am I being mean to you?” She asks whilst counting stock, trying her hardest to ignore the intense gaze of his ocean blue eyes on her back.

“Because you won’t let me take you dancing”

“You should go with one of the other nurses James”

“I don’t want any of the other nurses, just you”

“You-“

“Y/n! Y/n quick we need you!” Mary’s panic scream interrupted her. Jumping up and rushing out of the tent with Bucky right behind her, a group of men carrying a stretcher with a man lying on it. His right leg gone as well as his left arm.

“Get him in here” Bucky opens the flaps of the tent, his eyes trained on the young soldier as they passed him. “Help me transfer him on to the bed, carefully.”

Bucky watched on as Y/n took control, ordering the nurses around and trying to get the soldiers to move away so she could work. When one of the men wouldn’t move Bucky stepped in.

It wasn’t long before Y/n made everyone get out except for the nurses.

“Go” Bucky’s head snapped from the medical tent to Dum Dum sitting next to him, giving the man a questioning look, Dum Dum laughed. “The doc”

“Don’t know what you’re talking about” he mumbled before downing the rest of his drink.

“You’ve been turning down women all night and I’m honestly surprised that you haven’t burnt a hole into the tent with how intense you’ve been looking at it. Oh and let’s not forget that you’ve been obsessed from the second you laid eyes on her”

“I-no I haven’t.”

“You have, and don’t bother trying to argue with me. Go and talk to her”

“And say what?”

“That’s on you” Bucky contemplated on whether or not to take his friend’s advice, it didn’t take too long before he was getting up and heading over to the medical tent. “Shes in her own tent” he heard from behind him so he changed course.

Standing outside the small tent he fixed his hair before pushing the flap aside, he found her sitting hunched over the small table one hand in her hair and the other scribbling away as she filled in paperwork.

“I can feel your eyes on me” her whispered voice snapped him out of his head.

“Are you alright doll?”

“I’m fine don’t worry, go and enjoy your night”

Moving closer to her he saw the tears falling freely down her cheeks. “Hey, hey why are you crying doll?”

“He… he didn’t make it. I tried everything bu-but it wasn’t enough, he was only seventeen Bucky.”

“Oh doll. You did everything you could-“

“But it wasn’t enough! And within the week his parents are going to know I failed, I failed to save their son”

Bucky pulled her into his arms, holding her close to his chest ignoring the feeling of her tears wetting his shirt. “It’s not your fault” he whispered over and over again as she fell apart in his arms.

“I failed”

“No you didn’t! Nobody would have been able to have saved him Y/n and you know that.”

“He was only seventeen Bucky. A child!”

“I know sweetheart, I know.”

As the laughing and music continued outside Bucky kept Y/n close to his chest, rocking them both from side to side slowly. Sleep began to overtake them, being the gentleman that he was he turned his back on her waiting for her to change into her nightwear.

“Goodnight doll”

“Stay… please”

“Of course” he was slightly shocked by seeing her shifting over in the small cot then patting the space she had created.

Climbing in next to her, wrapping her up and pulling her into his chest. Pressing his lips to her forehead “goodnight my love”

It became an unspoken routine between the two of them that Bucky would sleep in her bed, they ignored the teasing from all those around them - as if the nurses weren’t warming the soldiers beds themselves. There was nothing sexual about what they were doing, it was just two lost souls finding themselves seeking shelter within one another.

That however changed one night when Bucky went into their now shared tent finding her once again hunched over the table. “Hi doll”

“Hi Sergeant”

“Me and the guys move out tomorrow”

“I heard. How are you feeling?” She asked looking up from the papers in front of her.

“Nervous I won’t lie, but I’m going to miss you”

“I’m going to miss you too but you shouldn’t be gone long, right?”

“Two weeks, three at the most” he shrugged. “Doll, come and dance with me”

“There’s no music…”

“So? Come on” he held his hand out for her to take, his heart fluttering with the look she gave him as she puts her hand in his. “You are so pretty” he whispers as they swayed together.

“‘M not.”

“Yes you are. From the second I laid eyes on you I thought you were the most prettiest dame I had ever laid eyes on.”

“You’re lying!” She chuckled.

“I am not!”

“If you say so”

Bucky gently raises her head up by her chin, “I have never lied to you.”

“Bucky… kiss me please” she asked softly. Their lips met slowly at first before growing heatedly and passionately.

The next morning with only a thick blanket covering their naked bodies they basked in the silence of the camp, Bucky running his fingers through her hair and Y/n drawing invisible circles on his chest.

“When this war comes to an end me and you are going to get married” Bucky declared as he broke the silence.

“Don’t I get a say in this?”

“Nope” he chuckled. “Why, don’t you want to marry me?”

“And put up with you for the rest of my life?”

“Yeah, why what’s wrong with that?”

“You’re annoying”.

“And?” He drawls with a cheeky grin on his face.

“I’ll probably smoother you in your sleep?”

“And? Doll you aren’t giving me a good reason for why we shouldn’t get married”

“You honestly want to marry me?”

“More than anything, and I promise I’ll be an amazing husband and we’ll have so much fun together an-“

“Yes”

“-d we’ll make so many memories-“

“Yes”

“-and we’ll grow old toge-wait… yes?”

“Yes Bucky, I’ll marry you when the war is ov-“ her words get cut off from him pressing his lips to hers.

“I can’t wait to annoy you for the rest of our lives together”

Later that morning, before Dum Dum led his unit out of the camp heading to only where they knew they were going Bucky ran over to Y/n giving her a kiss and promised her that he would come back to her.

Since the only people left there was the nurses, injured men and some of the officials the camp was excruciatingly quiet. And since it was only just them… well the camp had become very boring.

Two weeks passed quicker than she thought, waiting to hear the loud chatter from the men to fill in the silence yet it never came. Another week went by and again there was no sight of them. Y/n was helping Private Smith sit up in more of a comfortable position when Mary came rushing in, slightly out of breath.

“Th-they’ve been captured!”

“What? How do you know?”

“Word just come in, I overheard it but apparently Captain America is going to rescue them because he knows someone in the unit”

“I-okay. Okay erm… we’ll need to get things set up for when they come back just incase they are hurt” Y/n rambled off, unaware that she was squeezing Smiths hand - not like he minded.

“He’ll be fine darling” Smith squeezed her hand back.

“I-I know. You need to eat-“

“I will don’t worry but you need to eat too darling as well”

Sitting down next to him they enjoyed a nice meal together, Smith doing everything to help get her mind off of Bucky and the others by talking to her about his life before the war, his wife and children, telling her all the plans he had planned when he got home. It worked. Until it was time to go to bed, being alone with her thoughts made her mind come up with all kinds of scenarios and most of them weren’t good.

It was another two weeks before word got to them that they were coming back. Captain America had saved them.

Y/n was in the medical tent filling out paperwork when applause erupted in the air as Captain America approached with the 107th behind him, hearing the cheers she jumped up and began getting things ready, as the first person was brought in her sole attention was on the solider and not the other one she had been worrying about in the five weeks since she had seen him.

“Hey! Let’s hear it for Captain America!” She smiled at hearing his voice as she concentrated on the patient in front of her.

“He’s already asked about you” Ann says as she put pressure on the solider’s wound.

“Ah, your the famous doc that he wouldn’t shut up talking about”

“Excuse me?”

“Barnes? Yeah he wouldn’t stop talking about you, if you ask me he’s in love with you” the guy winked.

It wasn’t until everything in the medical tent had calmed down that she had heard his voice again. “I’m injured doll”

Spinning around she sees him standing there with a grin on his dirt covered face. “Who are you?”

“Your future husband, silly. Missed you doll”

“I missed you too” hearing her words he crossed over to where she stood and placed his hands on her face, cupping her face before placing his lips against hers. Both sighing in content at the feeling they had both been missing for weeks.

“Are you hurt? Where?”

“‘M not hurt my love, just messing with you”

“Are you not going to introduce me Buck?” A new voice cut through making them take a step apart from each other.

“Y/n this is Steve, Steve this is my doll” Y/n smiled at the blond who happily returned the expression.

“It’s nice to meet the woman who this one wouldn’t stop talking about”

“I didn’t talk about her once” Bucky rushed out. “I didn’t doll” shaking his head whilst looking at her.

“He’s actually not the first person to tell me that” Y/n winked at Steve making the man laugh.

“I hate the both of you.”

A celebration was held that night when they came back, the men sharing the tale of how they were captured - all teasing each other when they said they weren’t scared. Telling the women how Captain America had told them to leave but they refused, Dum Dum said that they arrived together and were going to be leaving together. Everyone including Y/n hanging on to every word that was spoken of their rescue and how they defeated the enemy.

Bucky never spoke a word, no, he was too lost in watching the flames of the fire-pit flickering off Y/n’s face. Mesmerised by the way her eyes shined so brightly in the darkness, audibly groaning as he watched her bite her lip - his mind going straight to the gutters.

Much later that night Bucky took his time in making love to her.

The 107th Infantry Regiment had been teamed up with Steve to take down an organisation, Bucky promised her that he would contact her whenever they set up camp for the night. Every night they spoke even if it was just for a few minutes, he told her where they were and asked how everything back at camp was going, before ending their call he would tell her that he was coming back to her.

The last time she spoke to him he informed her that they were in Austria, he made her giggle when he complained that they had to go up the alps, telling her how cold it was. He then shocked her by telling her that he was in love with her. Before she could even respond the connection cut off.

She knew there was something wrong when she never received another call from him, Mary and Ann told her that he was just busy and that he would come back and everything was going to be fine. Every time she tried to speak with the General about the update of where they were he just walked away from her.

For two months she didn’t hear anything from him or from anyone, for two months she spent her time trying to take her mind off of the brunette who had wormed himself into her heart.

Mary came running over to the river where Y/n was sitting watching as the ducks swam past her. “Y/n… they’re back.”

Jumping up and running to where the men were, she looked around for the man who she had been missing more than anything, her eyes moved frantically from man to man who all seemed to have a problem with making eye contact with her. Her heart settled when a hand rested itself on her shoulder.

“Darlin’ I-I need to talk to you” it was Dum Dum.

“W-where is he? Dum…”

“Come with me love” he wrapped his arm around her shoulder and moved them to her tent. “I’m sorry darling, he… he didn’t make it”

“W-where is he though?”

“He fell off the train in the alps, we couldn’t find his body”

“No… no we need to fi-find him so his family can bury him… Dum please” his heart ached for the woman in front of him, all he could do was hold her in his arms as she broke down crying. He didn’t have the heart to tell her that Bucky’s last words to Steve was him begging the blond to make sure he looked after Y/n.

After crying for a good solid ten minutes she removed herself from his arms, wiped her tears before nodding and walking out - leaving Dum Dum standing there dumbfounded.

She knew herself that she wasn’t going to be able to be aloud time away to mourn, they weren’t dating or married, while they had feelings for each other and they spent every waking moment together it didn’t mean anything to the higher ups. Walking into the medical tent everyone went quiet at seeing her, Mary tried telling her that she could go and rest but Y/n just shook her head and got to work. She needed the distraction to take her mind away from the pain in her chest.

For months after she became a shell of herself, no longer laughing or smiling, no longer holding conversations with anyone, always working and taking little care for herself. And finally that day came when the war ended, everyone around her celebrated whilst she was packing up her things ready to head back home.

It had been two years since the war ended and people were still picking up their lives. Y/n was on her way to home after finishing her shift at the local hospital when a black car pulled up alongside her.

“Excuse me Miss, are you Y/n L/n?” A man asked as he got out of the car.

“I am, who are you?”

“Ah, we have a friend in common”

“We do? Wait what are you do-“

“Don’t make this harder than it has to be Miss L/n, wouldn’t want to hurt you.” Her eyes were wide as his hand tightened around her neck, her whole body trembling with fear. “Nighty night” he smirks as he presses a needle into her left arm.

Y/n woke up disoriented and dazed with her hands and ankles tied painfully tight, trying to speak but her words came out as slurred. “Ah little lambs awake. Go back to sleep little lamb” the same guy from side of the road spoke, but instead of a needle being pushed into her arm he raised his leg and kicked her straight in the face. Knocking her out instantly.

The second time she awoke was when a bucket of stale water was thrown into her face, both arms tied to arms of the chair she was uncomfortably sat in. A man infront of her smiled as she was trying to blink away the water droplets off her eyelashes.

“So you’re the precious little one that our Soldat keeps muttering about, no matter how many times we wipe his memories he always mutters your name”

“I-I don’t know who you are talking about”

“Soldat! You know him” the unnamed man shouts as if it was the most obvious thing. “Get her ready. Miss… I won’t lie to you, what’s going to happen next is going to hurt… well have fun” the man sighs dramatically and then chuckles making his way to the door, leaving her alone with four men holding guns.

Everything that happened next happened in a blur from two of the men grabbing her roughly and dragging her down the corridor, to being strapped down on a cold metal table - a meek looking man muttering something to her that she couldn’t quite understand before a large needle was injected into her arm. 

When she woke the next time she was in a small room - on the floor, that only had a chipped white framed bed with a thin mattress on top of it, she grimaced at seeing the blotches of stains. Her nose crunched upward at the nasty aroma lingering the room. Y/n flinched at hearing noises just outside, she could hear clearly that a man was laughing which caused her to back away and put her hands over her ears trying desperately to block out the sound. Not understanding why everything was amplified.

“Ah, little lamb you’re awake. I’m pleased to tell you that it’s worked, your going to be our new little asset-“

“W-what have you done to me?”

“We’ve made you stronger than any man could wish to be! We’ve made you fast-“

“What have you done!”

“Right, we’ve injected you with a special serum that’s enhanced you. Your lucky little lamb, those before you never made it past the thirty minute mark after injection. Now you’re ready for your second phase of becoming our little asset, boys… be careful with her.” The second he finished his sentence the same four men from before came in and grabbed her roughly once again.

Being dragged down a corridor and into a room she tried to beg the men to let her go, pleading with them that she had a family and they’d be looking for her, she even tried bribing them. Her begs and cries fell on deaf ears.

“Now little lamb, from what I can gather is that this chair here, a beauty in her own right isn’t actually nice to those that sit in her. She’s not exactly been kind to your little boyfriend but that’s because he tries to fight it, I’m going to be kind to you and suggest that you don’t do the same as him otherwise it will hurt more.” He waved his hand in the air lazily and the two agents that had ahold of her shoved her towards the chair, once sat they strapped her legs down and placed a strap across her chest.

“P-please stop ple-“

“None of that little lamb, it’s not going to hurt… much” he chuckles. “Try not to scream, it’ll will only annoy me”

She goes to reply when a loud buzzing sound came from both sides to her, frozen and strapped into place as two metal plates places themselves onto her face. Y/n could hear the man in a white coat start to count down from five, squeezing her eyes shut tightly she saw a blinding white light as her whole body spasmed and withered in pain. The agents all flinched as the glass behind them started to crack. Once it finished and the plates were moved away from her head, her head started to roll to the side as drool began seeping from her mouth.

“Little lamb, do you remember me?”

“W-w-where am I?” Her mouth felt like it was full of cotton wool, and her tongue felt heavy.

“What’s your name?”

“Y-Y/n”

“Do it again”

By the eighth time of having her mind wiped the window was gone, she had blood seeping from her ears and nose, her bottom half was wet. After they were done with her she was dragged back to her cell and tossed on the ground as if she was nothing.

Y/n had forgotten everything. She didn’t know who she was or where she was. They kept calling her little lamb. Crawling into the corner of the room she pulled her knees up to her chest and began mumbling incoherently to herself.

Every time she closed her eyes all she saw was a blacked out face with the brightest blue eyes.

For years she moved and breathed when they told her too, she spoke when they said, she ate when they told her to eat - not like it was much mind you.

Throughout those years she didn’t understand her purpose of why she was there, she never got to leave the place she was kept at, all she did was train and fight with those who were a lot bigger then her in height and weight.

What she didn’t realise is that she did have a purpose for those she worked for, and that she was leaving the base to do their bidding. Completely unaware that she had taken so many lives.

She didn’t know what they were injecting into her every few months was the sperm belonging to the Winter Soldier in hopes that they could create an army of pure bred super soldiers that they could use to fight and take down their enemies without themselves having to do anything. Or that the nurse who seemed to take pity on her would give her a tablet to force the innocent little foetus to never grow up in a world that it would only be used for pain and suffering.

She didn’t understand what she had done wrong, one minute she was training with the other super soldiers and then she was being hit and shocked by the batons and then dragged to the room that kept the cryostasis chambers, she pleaded with the agents that she would be good, begging them not to put her in there again but they didn’t listen. Her whole body stiffened when they gave her the option - chamber or chair.

She hated the chamber.

But she hated the chair even more.

“See you in a little while little lamb.”

Fury had told them that SHIELD had discovered a new Hydra base and that they needed to go and take it down, not even an hour later they were fifteen minutes away from touching down at the location of the base.

“Cap, it looks deserted…” Natasha said as she slid her gun into her holster.

“We still need to be cautious” Steve told them. He tapped his foot against Bucky’s to gain his attention. “You okay?”

“Don’t worry about me. Seriously punk I’m fine”

“Alright. Everyone be careful.”

They moved quietly and slowly towards the base - that had seen better days - without any trouble, getting inside they all stole quick glances at Bucky making him sigh. “No I’ve never been here before”

“Didn’t say anything Barnes”

“You didn’t need too”

As they moved further inside it became obvious that they were the only ones there, apart from a few rats running around. Steve gave the orders out, him and Wanda going together down one hallway, Bucky and Sam - which he did mainly to annoy his best friend, Natasha and Tony going off to find the computers to see if they can get anything off them.

“How long do you think this place has been empty for?” Wanda asked.

“Not sure… it looks like awhile.”

“Steve?”

“Yeah?”

“Why are they all open?” Wanda points at cryo chambers, looking at Steve with a raised eyebrow.

“I don’t know? But let’s keep looking there has to be something here for us to ta-“ Wanda cuts him off with a gasp. “What’s wrong?”

“There’s a woman, she’s pretty…”

“What are you- Y/n?” Wanda’s head snapped from the woman in the chamber to the blond standing next to her.

“Do-do you know her? Wait… Y/n?”

Pressing his comms button Steve tells Bucky to come to where he was, told him to hurry up, hearing the distress tone of their captain Nat and Tony also went along too.

“Steve is this the same Y/n that Bucky calls out for in his sleep?” Wanda asked, watching him nodding slowly she looked down sadly.

The team had slowly grown use to Bucky screaming and hearing him thrash around in his sleep and had even witnessed him trashing him room trying to escape, thinking and believing he was still at the Hydra base he was kept at. One night it had actually taken all of them to try and pin him down on the ground after a horrific nightmare, it took Thor to grab Mjölnir to place it on Bucky’s naked chest to pin him down and for Wanda to use her magic to clear his mind just so they could get him to calm down. She apologised profusely for it the next day but he just smiled, placed his hand on hers gently and thanked her. But every night without fail they all heard him mumbling or crying out for Y/n and none of them wanted to overstep that boundary by asking him directly so they asked Steve who this person was and all he told them was that it wasn’t his place to say anything but that she meant the world to Bucky. And after that they let it be though they were all curious.

And now Wanda was staring up at the woman who had been on her friends mind for so long, she didn’t know how Bucky was going to react to seeing her here.

“Steve?” Bucky stood at the doorway with Sam, Natasha and Tony behind him. “What’s up?”

“Buck… she-she’s here”

“Who?”

Steve watched as Bucky paled and his eyes got shinier with tears filling them. “Y/n.”

“N-no no you’re lying Steve.” His eyes moved to Wanda when he noticed her shifting from foot to foot. He knew by the look on her face that what Steve was saying wasn’t a lie.

He moved slowly to where Wanda stood, never taking his eyes off her until he stood in front of her, it wasn’t until she gave him a sad smile that he finally looked to his right. A choked sob was the only sound in the whole building. Wanda tried to grab him before he fell but it was no use, Bucky landed with a loud thud on his knees as he looked up at the woman he had fallen madly in love with in the forties. The woman he had made a promise too. A promise he couldn’t keep.

“St-Steve we need-I need to get her out of here”

“I know Buck, I know but we need to be careful, we don’t know how long she’s been in there for”

“We can’t leave her!”

“We aren’t going to leave her Barnes, just give me a few minutes to try and figure out how we’re going to get sleeping beauty out of here, okay?” Tony says before looking around the room to find a way to get her out.

As everyone moved around the room trying to find a way to get her out of the chamber Bucky stayed on his knees looking helplessly up at her. “That’s why you couldn’t find her, she’s been here”

“I tried Buck-“

“No, I know you did. H-how long do you think she’s been here for?”

“I… I don’t know”

Not long after, Tony managed to find a way to open up the door to the chamber without causing any damage to Y/n. They all shivered as the cold air hits them, Bucky took the straps off her and took her gently into his arms. His body tensed when Tony injected something into her arm. “It’s just to keep her asleep until we get back to the tower”.

Steve told him to take Y/n onto the jet so they could finish off clearing the base, they all watched as he carried her as if she was the most delicate thing in the world.

“Steve, she’s a super solider” Nat looked over at him from the computer.

“Have you found anything else about her?”

“She’s got way more kills under her belt than I do, they call her little lamb” saying that nickname made her nose scrunch up. “And… oh Steve, they’ve been injecting her with Bucky’s sperm, it never worked” Steve’s eyes burned a hole into the computer screen angry at everything that he was hearing.

“Sh-she was a nurse you know? A great one, all the men said they loved going to her because she was just the kindest of them all. She deserved so much better than this.”

“Steve she’s been in cryo for twelve years… they wrote down when they were put in and taken out, she was never taken out twelve years ago”

“Jesus. Right, gather everything you can on Y/n and I’ll meet you on the jet”

Leaving Natasha to do what she did best he went to the jet, he stood there watching as Bucky stroke his fingers through the top of her head, not taking his eyes off her face.

“I-I’ve put blankets on her from the back, she’s still freezing Stevie.”

“Buck, there’s something I need to tell you about her.”

“What is it?”

“She’s like us, she’s got the serum too. T-they were trying to impregnate her with-with your… you know, and Nat found out that she’s been in cryo for twelve years”

“T-they don’t care do they? They don’t care who they hurt or the pain they inflict, they-they’ve hurt the sweetest, big hearted person and for what? Just to leave her in there for all those years? It’s my fault isn’t it?”

“No Buck, it’s not your fault-“

“It has to be, I kept saying her name when they first got me. I didn’t want to forget her so I kept saying her name and look what happened!”

“Bucky it’s not- don’t try and interrupt me- it’s not your fault. But we’ve found her and she’s going to come home with us and we can help her”

“Did she do bad things too?” His voice was so small and quiet that it was lucky that Steve had enhanced hearing otherwise he wouldn’t have heard what his friend said.

“Yes but Buck we know her, we know she’s a good person just like you she’s been made to do bad but we can help her, I promise you”

“We’ll all defend her tin-man” Tony says, when both men look over they see the four of them nodding in agreement.

Two weeks after finding his only love and brining her back to the compound Bucky refused to move away from her hospital bed, on the fourth day Steve had to beg him to come with him to get some food - it wasn’t until his stomach growled in hunger that he finally accepted Steve’s offer, he left her with a kiss on her forehead and made Natasha and Wanda watch over her, made them both promise to ring him the second Y/n started to stir awake.

Steve then tried to get him to leave just so he could get a good night sleep or to have a shower but the brunette shrugged him off - it wasn’t until Dr Cho came in and told him to get a shower, told him that he should be clean and smell nice for when Y/n woke up. That had him running to his room and showering quickly before running back down to her.

It was better than nothing.

“Steve?”

“Mhm”

“What’s Fury going to do when Y/n wakes up?”

“Nothing, him and Tony have already pleaded her case and all she’s got to do when she wakes is give all the information she can remember. Fury is positive that she’ll be be fully pardoned and he thinks that she could be an asset to the team, that is if she wants to stay”

“W-why-do you think she’ll want to leave?”

“I don’t know Bucky”

“Would you be mad at me if I left with her?”

“No. I would be mad though if you didn’t invite me over for dinner” Bucky let out a laugh whilst he rubbed his thumb over her knuckles.

Steve and Wanda had left after spending a couple of hours keeping Bucky company as he watched over Y/n, he was just starting to drift off to sleep when he felt her hand twitch.

“Y/n? Doll?” Another twitch. “Doll, come on wake up”

Bucky shot straight up knocking the chair backwards when Y/n jumped up out of the bed, falling down instantly, he watched as she pulled herself to the wall bringing her knees to her chest, her eyes moving around the room frantically. Her voice hoarse as she mumbles softly to herself, Bucky slowly moved around the bed.

“Doll? Y/n it-its me Bucky”

“Bucky?”

“Yes, yes it’s me” she says his name again, her teared filled eyes looking straight at him. “You’re safe.”

“W-where are we?”

“Somewhere safe, I promise.”

“They will be here for me” slowly standing up, ignoring the blood seeping down her arm she moved over to Bucky. “I-I need to leave, I need to go back home, they-they’ll be mad at me”

“Y/n hey, hey stop, doll look at me, they aren’t looking for you okay? You’re safe here, I’m not letting anyone hurt you again. I promise”

“You promise?”

“I promise” Bucky moved closer as soon as she was in reach he pulled her in his chest, squeezing her tightly, repeatedly pressing his lips to her hair.

Helen came in a little later to run some checks, talking to Y/n like she was an actual person and not like she was a nobody like she was use to, when she said thank you it meant more than just a simple gesture. The next day Steve, Sam and Wanda walked into the hospital room shocked to seeing Y/n sitting up and talking to Bucky, though they had slowly gotten use to seeing Bucky coming out of his shell even after all these years of knowing him Sam and Wanda stood there watching Bucky be a whole new person, the only person that didn’t find it weird was Steve who had a huge smile on his face, happy to see his best friend finally happy and at peace now that he had Y/n with him.

When Fury got word that she was awake he came down to see her, she answered all of the questions he had as best as she could. Fury reassured both her and Bucky that nothing would happen to her.

A month after waking up Y/n hand in hand with Bucky sat in a room with the team standing behind them, Fury at the end of the table and members of the government in front of them. She was nervous to hear what punishment she was going to receive, yes Fury promised that she wouldn’t be but when Bucky finally caved and told her all of the crimes she was connected to - not only did her heart break at hearing the things that she did but she feared what kind of punishment she was going to receive, she felt like she needed to be.

“Y/n L/n you are granted a full pardon, but you will need to be a part of the Avengers-“

“That’s not what we agreed on!” Fury interrupted the man.

“It’s the best thing-“

“I’ll do it. I-I need to do it” Y/n nodded.

Bucky and Steve had to beg Tony not to throw a party to celebrate Y/n’s freedom and her new role in the team of superheroes, he reluctantly agreed but told them they needed to do something as a team for her. Bucky told him a nice meal would do, it wouldn’t push her out of the comfort zone she had created for herself, so that’s what they did. Their laughter throughout the meal bounced off the walls as Y/n was retelling her memories of the antics Bucky would get up to during camp, told them how she managed to push Steve in to the river when he refused to go into the water.

In that month Bucky had been sleeping in bed with Y/n after she begged him to stay with her, and that night was no different. The team no longer heard Bucky’s screams because he no longer had nightmares.

“Y/n”

“Yeah?”

“I never stopped loving you, you know?”

“I’ve never stopped loving you either.” She smiled up at him. Slowly their lips met, both sighing at the familiar feeling that they had been deprived of feeling for nearly eighty years.

Just as Bucky closed his eyes to get some sleep he began chuckling when he heard Y/n’s question.

“Are you still going to marry me so I can put up with you for the rest of my life?”

“I made a promise didn’t I?”

Tags: @imcinnamoons | @pigeonmama

#marvel #marvel fanfiction #bucky barnes #bucky barns x y/n #bucky barnes x reader #bucky x reader #james bucky buchanan barnes #bucky barnes fluff #bucky x reader. #bucky fic #Bucky Barnes angst #bucky x y/n angst #bucky x y/n fluff #Bucky x you #Bucky x y/n #bucky x you fluff #bucky x reader angst #Bucky x you angst #tw miscarriage #tw forced breeding

[rinhaler]

You Deserve Roses and You Know This

✧˖*°࿐ : 18+ only, no minors.    ✧. ┊ ex!Toji Fushiguro x f!reader

Genre: Smut & Angst Notes: reposting from my old account! Warnings: 18+, dubcon, vaginal sex, fingering, oral (f receiving), nipple play, dacryphilia, pregnancy, abortion ideation, miscarriage, depression, adultery, breeding, creampie ♡, smoking mention. Words: 4.1k

“Is it true? Did talking to Megumi make you cry today?” Toji asks you, peeling down your bra strap before sensually decorating your exposed shoulder in delicate kisses.

He didn’t notice, but as soon as the question left his tongue you had instinctively become dead behind the eyes. It was true. You’re an adult, and yet you were brought to tears by his seven-year-old son. It wasn’t that he said anything callous, quite the opposite, really. Earlier that day, Megumi had been sitting playing in your front room. You were babysitting, as you often did, while Toji and his wife were working. Your eyes hold shut as you remember his wife; his beautiful and kind wife while he continues littering your skin in adoration. You shouldn’t be doing this, but you can’t stop now.

Green sparkling eyes looked up from innocent children’s toys to pose you a question – “Why do you hate me?” he asked, genuinely. It was like a knife through your chest. You didn’t hate him. You could never hate him, Toji being partly responsible for his existence is enough reason to adore him with everything you have.

You just wish he was yours.

Toji is patient when he gets his time with you. It’s rare, after all, and he wants to make the most of it. Two large palms settle on your breasts, the straps are down but your bra is still firmly in place. He massages your flesh over the material, lips traversing the expanse of your body until he reaches your pulse point. He licks, slowly, hot eager breath contrasting your own temperature and making you shudder. This, he notices, pulling your back even closer into his chest. His left hand slowly yet forcefully moves up and down your adjacent arm, desperate to dispel the goosebumps that have formed on your skin. He suckles and licks on your ear lobe before nibbling it softly between his teeth. His breathing changes, his mouth level with your ear, he’s going to speak.

“Baby… what were you talking about?” he sighs, an even more chill inducing breath warms the shell of your ear. He pecks against it, the sound of tactile lips puckering slithers directly through your ear canal. You moan, unintentionally, and back further into your temporary lover. He holds your breasts once more; stabilising you, if only a little, as you begin to grind your core against his crotch.

“I- I can’t, Toji—”

Your attention is fixated on him as his hand encases half of your face and turns you to face him. But you both find yourselves closing your eyes as he places a kiss against your lips. It’s slow, yet heated, and you feel him smile into you when he hears you moan into his mouth pathetically. You’re well and truly at his mercy, though you aren’t embarrassed. How else should one act and behave around the love of their life?

“You can and you will,” he explains, biting your lip as he parts from the kiss. A singular string of saliva keeps you connected for a second before snapping. “you can’t have secrets with my son darlin’, you just can’t. So tell me, what were you talkin’ to him about?”

You gulp, nerves overcoming you like never before. Your eyes flutter shut yet again as he diverts his attention from your eyes to your body. The skin behind your ear is the next subject of his eroticism. And yet, he has the gall to chastise you for enjoying it. With one more repetition of tell me you realise you can’t stall anymore. Out of options. And you can’t lie.

“R-Rocco, ah—!”

“How does Megumi know about Rocco?”

“I- I told… him…”

He hikes your leg up so that you’re sitting on his lap like a little girl. The kissing has stopped and the touches have halted. Toji isn’t patient except with you. He’s never looked as furious as he does now, with you. Brows scrunched and the glimmer in his eye you love so much has ceased to exist. His scar looks as raw as it did the day he got it. A non-existent armour made you believe he wouldn’t mind you talking to his son about such a sensitive subject matter, but apparently it is not to be discussed under any terms.

“Don’t you ever talk to my son about Rocco again. D’ya hear me? Never.” he forbids, his eyes seem to soften ever so slightly when he spots that you can’t prevent the way your lip begins to wobble. “If you really wanna talk about Rocco, talk to me. Yeah? No one else, just me.”

“Y-You don’t let me—” you start, your thought isn’t completed. Thoughts are rattled from your mind as he begins manoeuvring you so that your back is flat against the mattress, jade green eyes boring into your very soul as he hovers above you. His arms dip behind your back, finally unhooking your bra and baring your chest to him.

Beautiful, he thinks.

“I’m letting you now.” he explains, his head resting on your chest, looking up with intent behind his salacious stare. He latches onto one of your protruding nipples, taking it between his cracked lips. He sucks and pecks, and it’s almost lazy, but you know it’s with purpose. It’s driving you wild, you can’t help but wriggle helplessly beneath him, desperate to gain some relief on your eager heat.

He pins one of your legs down, stopping you from continuing your movements. It’s torture, you think, he’s expecting you to broach such a heavy subject matter while you’re so desperate for his touch.

“C’mon sweetheart… talk about Rocco,” he commands. You can’t. Tears stream down your face as you do your best to experience Toji whilst thinking back to the past. Your mind spins and you feel as if you can’t breathe. He releases your nipple with an accentuated pop as he smirks up at you. “I remember how scared you were to tell me… when you realised—”

“Fuck, Toji.” you croon, a mischievous finger slithered down your abdomen down the length of your clothed slit. Feather light touches against your clit and your entrance forced your hips to buck upwards carelessly. He snickered, repeating the action again and again. “I- I remember.” you stutter.

You’d only been dating for thirteen weeks. He was yours before his wife entered the fray, before you had to battle for his time and attention. Nerves got the better of you, the thought of admitting to yourself what you already knew made you nauseous beyond any description.

Your period was late.

It was something you didn’t want to acknowledge, let alone inform Toji of. It had been so little time since you began dating. You thought he’d leave you, run away and never look back. So, there was only one thing for it. An abortion. You couldn’t keep the baby if you wanted to keep him. It was your only option. You were stressed, manic, exhausted. But at least you’d have Toji – that was all you cared about.

“You were so scared to tell me, weren’t ya?” he asks, hooking a finger beneath your panties before settling it in your inner thigh crease. He plunges a finger inside of you, chuckling when more obscenities fly from your mouth as your head falls backwards into the plush pillows. One of your hand grips the sheets below, whilst your other almost tears his hair from the roots. So little attention, and yet such a big reaction from you. “Thought so little of me, baby, ‘m sorry.” he finishes, adding a second finger to your scorching heat. It's almost as if the air in your lungs has frozen, weighing you down. It’s preventing you from speaking. From breathing. Even thinking.

It was confirmed when you finally took the plunge and decided to do a pregnancy test. Big, black, bold text told you the answer and where your future was heading. Motherhood, for certain. But you knew you had to take care of it before Toji became suspicious. It was something you didn’t even want him to know you were going through. Everything with him was perfect, it wasn’t something you wanted to ruin over something you believed could be easily taken care of.

So… why were you crying every day?

That’s what he asked you. You hadn’t been yourself, and that is what gave you away. Jokes he told that you found funny didn’t seem so funny anymore. The way he traced his fingers up and down your arms made you defensive, and paranoid. You didn’t want him to touch you in case he somehow sensed it in his fingertips. If he felt you he might just know that you’re carrying his child and he’ll skip out on you.

It all came to a head one day after you finished throwing up. You couldn’t keep your cries silent. Your body was betraying you, you felt hurt in ways you never had before and it was becoming impossible to keep it all to yourself. You didn’t dare tell a soul for fear of Toji finding out through the grapevine. But enough was enough, he thought.

“You need to tell me what’s going on with you.” he told you, but you shook your head.

“I can’t Toji, please. Trust me, I can’t.” you explained, “It’s fine… I will ruin everything if I tell you so… so I’m… I’m taking care of it—”

“Cut that shit out right now. This has been going on a fuckin’ while and I can’t stand to see you like this,” he responded, moving his head as you moved yours. You were trying to avoid his piercing glare, but he wouldn’t let you. He couldn’t. He’d never of forgiven himself if you carried on like that, unable to share your woes, and did something you might regret. “Trust me, I’m beggin’ you to trust me, baby.”

He forced you to sit down, and face him. He wiped away your tears with his thumbs and kept all of his attention focused on you as he watched you calm yourself down. Tear filled breaths that clogged your lungs fizzled into shaky exhales the longer you held eye contact with Toji. He wasn’t going anywhere, for now. If you explain you can tell him your plans. Maybe he’d support you if he knew you planned on freeing you both of the burden of parenthood, you hoped.

“I… I’m, uh—”

“Yeah? C’mon sweetheart, doin’ so good f’me just use your words.” he spoke, doing his best to tempt the truth out of you. With one final swallow of terror and closing your eyes for a moment to think, you finally found the courage to confess.

“I’m pregnant,” you blurted out quickly. “but it’s okay I’m gonna get rid of it. Okay?” you fumbled out words quicker than you could think. You just wanted him to know that there was no way you’d be keeping the baby. He was what you needed, not a kid. “Please, I promise I’m going to get rid of it, this is why I didn’t want to tell you. D-Don’t leave me, p-please. You are more important to me than a baby, I just want you. I—”

Your rambling was stifled as Toji pressed a finger to your lips. He kissed you on your forehead, a warm smile filled his features. Instantly, you were relived. It meant that your idea of an abortion was enough to convince him to stand by you. There was no reason to worry yourself sick like that, he was going to support you through it all.

“You don’t have to get rid of our baby,” he smiled.

“W-What?”

“In fact, I don’t want you to do that at all.” he warmly spoke, pulling your body into his and forcing his head between the valley of your breasts. It wasn’t sexual, it was just a comfort to him to hear your heartbeat. “Maybe… we could start our own little family, huh?”

Tears roll down your eyes as you reminisce on it all whilst Toji adds his flat tongue to the equation of his fingers in your cunt. It’s all so romantic and wonderful and intense. You don’t think you’ve ever been happier than you were in that moment. The moment you knew he really would stand by you through anything at all. And despite your assumption, he was excited to become a father. He was excited to have a baby with you.

“I love you, Toji.” you speak, softly, unsure if it was even loud enough for him to hear. Oh, but he did. He doesn’t want to stop lapping at your swollen clit, knowing it’s exactly where you need the most attention right now. But a particularly harsh suckle and pop of the bead is a silent acknowledgement, he promises he heard you. “Gonna… gonna cum. T-Toji—”

“No no, baby, not yet,” he instructs. He removes his fingers from your hole, delicately rubbing them over your sensitive bundle of nerves instead. It’s slow and tormenting, but he doesn’t want you to cum like this. “I was so happy when we found out we were havin’ a little boy, y’know? So damn happy princess.”

You remember it well. Your emotions were running high and you had the ability to blame your hormones when you discovered the gender of your unborn child. But you couldn’t quite believe it when you looked over to see Toji’s eyes, eyes that are normally so strict and stern, glossy with tears on his lash line. He couldn’t help it, he claimed.

“Look what we made.” he pointed, the scan revealing perfectly what a handsome little boy you’d made together.

And later that day, he took you shopping. Money was no object. That is what you both decided. Neither of you could believe how much stuff you ended up buying. Paints for the nursery. A crib. Other necessary pieces of furniture. Toys. Clothes. Everything you thought you needed, you bought. You were both first time parents and completely clueless. So, if a shop assistant recommended it, you bought it.

You spent so much time together painting the walls of your baby’s new room. Toji was very irritable when you kept asking what to do and how to help. The paint wasn't going on as nicely as he hoped and his temper flared, it was extremely evident in his face. What do you do when you see an angry bear? Poke it with a stick. Or in this case, flick paint from the end of your brush at him. When he noticed what you had done and he turned to face you, you swear you could read murder on his mind. But when you began to laugh, he couldn’t help the laugh that snuck out of him.

There was more paint on the two of you than on the walls by the end of it.

“That was the day we decided to call him Rocco…” Toji mused.

He began to kiss up towards your naval and back to your neck. Your fingers laced through his hair as you begged for him to deliver the same salvation he was offering your body to your lips as well. He complied, slow patience had dwindled as your tongues found each other. It was wet, heated, sloppy. You felt yourself drooling out of the corners of your mouth, Toji Fushiguro is just so intoxicating. A drug you can’t quit though you know you should.

He’s all you have.

He doesn’t break the kiss from you, though his hand eventually meets his heavy, wanting cock. He guides it to your desperate entrance, lining it up perfectly before slotting himself inside. His hips roll, bullying his cock into you inch by agonising inch until your lip begins to quiver. He hushes you, though.

You both know you want it.

“I’m s-so – fuck – I’m so sorry, baby. I am so—”

“P-Please, pleaaaase stop.” you beg. He doesn’t. You are the one who wanted to talk about it. So desperate to talk about it that you went to a seven-year-old boy to discuss it. His son. “N-No more, I can’t—”

“It was the worst day of my life, too, I promise you that darlin’.” he mumbles in your ear. The thrum of his words rushes straight to your cunt, and you clench so hard around his cock you think he might have to stay there forever.

You don’t think you’ve ever been as embarrassed as you were when you came home from the hospital. Your pristine white maxi dress, stained in bright red blood by your crotch. The atmosphere in your house was foul. Two solemn adults who had lost everything in a few menial hours. Hollowness filled you, not a single emotion ran through you until you heard Toji a few rooms away. You sat on the sofa, turned on the TV and pretended it wasn’t happening. But you could hear Toji loud and clear.

He was in the nursery.

That was the first and only time you’ve ever heard him cry. A loud thud vibrated through you and you knew he had collapsed to the ground. Melancholy overtook him as his new reality was setting in. Your little boy was no more. No fault of your own, apparently, everyone made sure to repeat that enough times for it to really take root in the depths of your brain.

It didn’t help at all.

You couldn’t bring yourself to check on Toji. That would mean going into Rocco’s room and facing the truth yourself. So, you waited. You waited hours for him to finally come out. He came to see you, resting on the balls of his feet in front of the sofa where you sat. Fresh tears replaced old ones as he noticed the drying blood on your dress.

“H-How about a bath, huh?” he suggested.

You don’t remember saying yes, or nodding. But somehow, you found yourself naked and submerged in a bubble bath. It was like you had left your own body as he did his best to clean you. You could hear him sniffling. He was desperate to talk about it with you, all he wanted was for you to help each other cope. But you couldn’t. So, he did his best to lock it away too.

It was as if you had returned to yourself when Toji took a break from washing your hair to wipe more tears from his eyes. A soft mumbling of ‘Oh, Godddddd…’ trailed from his lips as he tried to pull himself together. And finally, your lip began to jut out helplessly. Your eyes scrunched, and the tears began to flow. You were staring at your bloody dress, and listening to him try and hold it together. It was all equating to too much.

It was real, now.

“Our… baby—” you cut yourself off with a wail, Toji pulled you into his hold and sobbed into your sodden locks.

He hissed with each thrust inside of your gummy walls. A perfect home for him in the form of your bodies fitting together like perfect puzzle pieces. He doesn’t feel like this with his wife, only you. He couldn’t stay away, he’d never be able to do that.

He loves you.

He loves you.

Fuck, he loves you.

“’m not good enough… I’ve never been—”

“Stop it, baby. You are enough, I promise.” he tells you through gritted teeth. It’s getting harder and harder to have a normal conversation while he is fucking you so intimately. Every ounce of his love poured into every devastating thrust.

He loves you.

“Wasn’t good enough for you, or our- our baby.”

“Stop it darlin’. Please stop. I- I need—”

“I can’t live like this-!” you cry out. His hand covers your mouth entirely as his mind tries to process what he needs to say to you. Christ. What does he need to say to you? Everything and nothing all at once. He thinks he should start with I love you. But is he prepared to open that can of worms?

“I need… you. I’m gonna leave her, yeah? My wife. Let’s… try again. Me and you, hah? I won’t pull out this time, let me… let me—”

“Tojiiiii—”

“You’re good enough, baby, more than good enough. I’ll cum inside and we can try again. I need to, I need to.”

Your tears stream endlessly but silently. Is this really what you want? Do you want him to break up his family to satiate your unfulfilled desires? It doesn’t matter. You find yourself nodding anyway. Perhaps it will dull the ache inside of you. It could be the plaster to cover to puncture wound in your aching heart; it’s been bleeding since that day.

Toes begin to curl as he continuously batters the spongy centre that spells your eventual undoing with his fat cock head. He isn’t doing much better. Nobody and nothing will compare to the rush and the high he feels as when your precious cunt swallows him again and again.

“Gonna- cum, with me. Please, baby. Cum with me now.” Toji pants.

Your lips are on his again, both of you focusing on your impending climaxes. The way you break away to moan momentarily before smothering each other in kisses yet again is such a lewd, romantic, high that you can’t get enough of. He pounds you perfectly and it’s an arrangement neither of you have been able to let go of after all of these years.

“Oh God, I’m cumming- cumming baby…” he alerts you. You’re practically choking on your own orgasm as it swims through you. Nails dig into his back as you try and hold onto the feeling for as long as you can. He fills you with his warmth, heaving like a desperate animal while he breeds you to the brim.

What have you done?

Time wasn’t a healer for either of you. The days got harder and harder and you couldn’t even stomach looking at him. Each time you looked at him, you saw what could have been. What should have been. The father of your son. The man who was going to teach him everything he knew and help your little boy cause all kinds of mischief for you.

The man you thought could keep you both safe.

That’s how he found himself married to a woman he would never love as much as he loved you. There was a drift, it was aggressive and painful, yet necessary. But you found yourself brought back together a few years after Megumi was born. You were practically an aunt to his son. A second mother, even. A sordid little secret.

You don’t hate Megumi, you just wish he was yours.

The pair of you got changed after he had his post fuck cigarette, knowing you couldn’t risk dallying for fear of being caught. You didn’t doubt for a minute that if you called him in a few weeks and told him you were carrying his child, he’d kidnap Megumi and run away with you to start your new family life together. And you would love that, you’d love him. You’d love it all.

But, it isn’t right. Is it?

He grabs his car keys, readying himself to drive you home to be alone with your dark thoughts. Before you step outside, though, something plagues your mind. A question that you simply must know the answer to. He looks scared, honestly. The way you’re facing him and eyeing him up as the same words twist and circle through your mind. A heavy hand rests on your waist, the other on your cheek. He’s scared, it’s obvious, but he’s still encouraging you to talk.

“Do you ever think about Rocco?” you ask him, genuinely curious. Toji has never felt the need to bring him up, this is the first you’ve discussed him in years. It kills you to think that Toji has managed to shut out thoughts of his unborn son while you are plagued with them each and every waking moment of your pointless life.

And there it is. That warm, kind smile, that is the Toji you know and love.

“All of the time.”

Four simple words have you breaking down like you did that day in the bathtub. Your head is pulled into his chest as he holds you close and tightly, allowing you to bawl every emotion onto him. You can’t control yourself and you don’t want to stop. It’s fine, he thinks. It’s clear that you need it. At least you know something today that you didn’t know yesterday. One piece of information that might take some of the burden off your own shoulders.

At least you know you aren’t alone.

© 2021 fuwushiguro | © 2023 rinhaler

this is a repost from my old account

#toji fushiguro #fushiguro toji #jujutsu kaisen fanfic #toji smut #toji fushiguro smut #jujutsu kaisen smut #jjk smut #jjk fanfic #toji x reader #toji x you #toji x y/n #fushiguro toji smut #toji fushiguro x reader #toji fushiguro x you #tw dubcon #tw dacryphilia #tw pregnancy #tw abortion mention #tw miscarriage #tw depression #tw cheating #tw breeding kink

[thedoctorofthechurchsquared]

Prayer request, it sounds like my sibling lost their baby due to a miscarriage

#prayer request #urgent prayer request #pray please #prayers #please pray #tw miscarriage

[screenshotsonpinterest]

What a time to be a Percy Jackson fan because one fanfic will be like “Annabeth’s perspective in ep 8!” Clearly written by a child and its 10/10

And then the next fic is a goddamn percabeth miscarriage fic and it’s also 10/10 but it’s like oh yeah some of yall are fully in your 30s

#don’t stop any of you #percy jackson #percabeth fanfic #pjo #annabeth chase #percabeth #pjo tv show #pjo fanfic #fanfiction #ao3 #tw miscarriage #just in case <3

[dfortrafalgar]

I'm Losing You

Having a family isn't always as easy as fairy tales make it seem.

Law x Fem Reader

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE read these warnings before reading this fic. Genuinely, I implore you. I started writing this fic on a whim a few weeks ago, when I was contemplating my own experiences with reproduction-related health conditions such as the one that will be addressed later on in this story (endometriosis). Reproductive education and health is something that I feel very strongly about, and I feel that topics such as pregnancy complications and loss aren't addressed enough in media for fear that they're too taboo or shocking. Which, to be fair, is true, at least for the shocking aspect. Pregnancy loss is difficult, traumatic, and life-changing, for better or for worse, truly dependent on the person and the world around them.

Now you might be wondering... why would you drag one piece into this? well, i don't know. i felt like it, perhaps. Law is a character who resonates very deeply to me, his character is emotionally complex and layered, and imagining him in a scenario like this one became very interesting to me. Combine that with everything i stated above and taddaa, you get this fic.

this story does and will eventually have a happy ending (a very happy ending!) however it will take a bit to get there. this is a multi-chapter fic that i'm moving from my ao3 to my new blog, and the same warnings there apply here.

if this fic doesn't seem like your cup of tea, i encourage you to check out some of my other fics on my blog. i have a few law/readers that are tooth-rottingly fluffy and much more feel good.

with all that out of the way, thank you for reading.

Chapter 1

[Next]

The air in the room was as stifling as a sauna from the stress and anxiety filling the air.  It was so silent, the tiles surrounding the small area blocking any and all noise from outside.  The door was closed, caging you in.

You were sitting on the toilet lid, your hands rapidly perspiring and your whole body shivering with nerves.  Across from you, your husband had his arms crossed, his head hung low, his heel bouncing off the floor.  The tension was unlike anything you had ever experienced, however this had unfortunately become the norm for the past six months.

On the side of the sink sat a long white stick.  Neither of you wanted to look at it.

“Do you think it’s ready now…?” you asked, inwardly cringing at how pathetic and weak your wobbly voice sounded.

Law picked his head up, his golden eyes creased in profound concern and worry.  “It should be.  Five minutes, right?”

“I think so,” you replied.  With a trembling hand, you grabbed the stick from the counter.  Law watched your every movement with a close eye.  With a deep breath, you flipped over the test and gazed at the result window.

A single red line.

After the last failed attempt, you made a joke that you didn’t have any more tears left in you to cry, but clearly that wasn’t the case as fat, salty tears rapidly welled in your eyes and flowed down your cheeks.  Law immediately knew what the result was the second your lips twitched downward.  His heart sank into his stomach, immediately stepping toward you, grabbing the test from your hand and blindly chucking it into the small garbage can in the corner.  He knelt on the floor in front of you to pull you into his chest.

“Damn it…” you whimpered.  Your body forced you to take a shuddering inhale before sobbing an anguished, “FUCK!!!!”

Law’s heart broke.  He didn’t even know what to say to comfort you anymore.  6 months of failed attempts at conceiving a very wanted baby had caused nothing but pain to both of you.  You had both been scientific about the process.  All birth control and protection was ceased, and the two of you were religiously tracking your cycle to make sure you would try during your ovulation window, but nothing but failure after failure showed up.

You thought you were broken.

Law thought he was broken.

You wept into his shoulder, your body shuddering with each pained sob that crawled from your sore throat.  Law’s hands were frozen around you, firmly gripping your back.  You couldn’t see the tears that were forming in the corners of his stern eyes, biting his lip and forcing every muscle in his face to prevent those tears from slipping downward.  The last thing you needed was to see him cry, but he didn’t know how much longer he’d be able to hold it in.

“Law…” you whimpered into his shoulder.

Law stayed silent.

“I’m sorry–”

“Don’t you dare apologize,” he quickly retorted, cutting you off.  He felt you lurch in his arms.  “This isn’t your fault.  It’s not anyone’s fault… it’s…”

Now you stayed silent.

Law took his own shallow inhale.  “I… don’t know.”

For one of the only times in Law’s life, he was rendered completely incapable of speech.  Normally calm and analytical, looking for every possible solution or reason for an issue, he was now left completely helpless to the crashing waves of sheer dejection.  As your quivering body clung to him like a lifeline, his entire brain was scrambling for some sense, any logical thought, for the current predicament, but it was starting to become glaringly obvious to both of you.

It was very likely one of you was infertile.

When you finally picked your head up from his shoulder, Law’s previously broken heart fractured into even more irreparable pieces.

Your eyes were puffy, swollen and bloodshot from your tears.  Your entire face looked bloated from the force of your crying, and you were clearly flushed.  You looked, for lack of a better word, completely miserable.  Law helped you stand from the closed toilet seat, keeping your eyes away from the trash can where the negative pregnancy test lay on top of discarded tissues and makeup wipes, to guide you to your shared bedroom.  Neither of you had to say a word, you knew he was going to put you into your shared bed and let you get some much-deserved rest after the stressful eternity (10 minutes) you had just endured.  It was almost 8:00PM anyway, and regrettably, both of you still had work the following day.

You didn’t fight it when Law eased you down onto the mattress by your shoulders.  You kept your eyes pinned closed, not wanting to let your husband see any more of your beaten state.  You rolled over onto your side and hid in your pillows.  You didn’t hear Law mention that he would join you after cleaning up, and you didn’t notice the overhead light dimming.  You simply begged for sleep to take you quickly and painlessly.

When Law finally returned after washing his face, he gazed dejectedly at your weary form.  Finally asleep, fortunately, but your cheeks were glossy with fresh tears.  The man carefully crawled into bed behind you, carefully pulling your body into his.  He wished more than anything that he could make your pain go away.  He ran through the many years you had been together, and struggled to find a time where your sorrow was as profound as it was this evening.  His mind was constantly at war- his analytical, doctor side beginning to list specific reasons why this could be happening, and his sincere, passionate, loving husband side breaking apart reflecting over the sound of your sobs.

It could have been either of you.  But it also could’ve been both of you.  The thought was enough to finally force the tears in Law’s eyes to break free and travel down his cheeks.  Some of them plotted into your hair.

—

You awoke to the sound of whispering in your hallway outside the bedroom.  The blinds covering the window above the bed you shared with Law were pulled shut, but the sunlight still beamed through them leaving patterns on the walls and floor.  The side Law slept on was empty and freshly made.  No surprise, he left for work early in the morning after all.  You slowly sat up in bed, your head pounding.  The events of the previous evening came rushing back to you, but you felt nothing but an empty melancholy, a dark fog that hung over your brain and clouded your vision.

The door to your bedroom slowly opened.  You looked up just in time to see a very large, very fluffy cloud with four legs and two beady eyes come sprinting into your room.  Its feet ripped across the carpeted floor as It hopped on your bed with a loud huff, immediately snuggling on top of your duvet and leaning into your body for some much needed cuddles.

You mustered a weary laugh, your hands instinctively moving to the back of the dog’s neck to rub his fluffy cheeks from behind, eliciting happy grunts from the large animal.  He had his tongue out, a tiny pink blep among the sea of rich white fur.

“Bepo,” you sighed.  “You know Law doesn’t like it when you get on the bed.”

“He missed you!” called a voice from the hallway.  Spiky red hair appeared in the doorway.  “So did we, actually.  I hope I didn’t wake you up.”

Shachi had, actually, woken you up, but you didn’t need to tell him that.  “No, not at all.”  You shook your head.  Bepo’s tail was wagging in your face, causing you to sputter out small strands of loose fur from your mouth.  The red-head entered your bedroom, leaving the door open.  The smell of French toast instantly wafted into the space, making your mouth water and your eyes widen.  “Is Penguin cooking?”

“Yee-up,” Shachi replied, popping his lips to enunciate the word.  “Law invited us over, if you couldn’t tell.”  He flashed a smirk.  “You got the day off, by the way.”

Your eyebrows wrinkled in confusion.  “What?”

“Law called in sick for you,” the man confirmed.

You frantically reached for the night stand and grabbed your phone, tapping the screen to illuminate it.  It was almost 10:00AM, and sure enough, your alarm had been turned off.  Three texts from Law sat waiting on your screen, as well as two texts from your coworkers.

Baby~~<3

Sorry, I broke into your phone to turn your alarm off.  You get to sleep in today, I called you out sick.  I didn’t tell them anything, just that you weren’t feeling good.

Baby~~<3

Shachi and Penguin might be there when you wake up.  I did tell them a little about what happened, just so they know to give you space if you need it.

Baby~~<3

Call me if you need anything at all, I love you.

Ika-chan

I heard you called in sick today!!!  I hope you’re alright, let me know if you need anything!

Nami Swan

How r u feeling?  If u caut the flu u can blame Usopp :P

You smiled, your heart beating in your chest.  “You guys are too much sometimes.”

Shachi proudly rested his clenched fist over his sternum as a display of pride.  “Nothing is ever enough for your best friend!”  The sight made you chuckle.  

You were caught off guard by Penguin entering with a much larger platter of food than you ever expected.  He excitedly approached your bedside with a wide grin, marveling at his own work.  A bowl of mixed fruits, a plate of French toast drizzled with maple syrup and dollopped with a swirl of whipped cream, a small portion of sausage on the side, and a single unopened bottle of apple juice.  You graciously accepted the spread, but you’d be lying if you said you weren’t completely befuddled.

“You guys know I’m not actually sick, right?” you asked, glancing at your husband’s best friends with concern.  You shooed Bepo away from getting too close to the sausage.

“We know,” Penguin clarified.  “We can treat you to a nice breakfast even when you’re not sick, though!”

You smiled, forcing down the lump that formed in your throat.  “Thank you guys, I really don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“I know what you’d do,” Shachi stated.  “You’d eat your breakfast and savor every bite!”  He stood up from your bed and clapped his hands twice, beckoning Bepo off of the bed and over to his side.  “We’ll take Bepo for a walk around the neighborhood!  Take some time for yourself!”  The two men left with your dog in tow, leaving you to stare in awe at the spread of food.

Your mind was reeling.  Law’s text informed you that he had given his two friends a brief summary of what had happened, but you didn’t really mind.  If anything, it brought you some comfort to know that you and your husband’s two closest friends understood the predicament you were currently in and were more than willing to go out of their way to support you.  You also couldn’t help but smile at the thought of Law calling you out sick for the day, putting your passcode into your phone to turn off your alarm, and making sure his friends would be there for you when you woke up.  You were beyond grateful for such an incredible support system, but just to be on the safe side…

You grabbed your phone once more, opening your text messages with Law.

Good morning baby, thank you for calling me out.  Im feeling a bit better, Shachi and Penguin made me breakfast.  I hope you didnt give them too much grief ;3; Take care of yourself today, I’ll see you when you get home.  I love you!!! <333

With your breakfast completed, you slowly trudged to the bathroom to take a relaxing shower.  The sight of your negative pregnancy test filled you with nausea, but you pushed past the feeling and turned on the water.

#trafalgar law x reader #trafalgar d water law x reader #fem reader #law x reader #x reader #reader insert #tw pregnancy #tw miscarriage #tw pregnancy loss #im losing you

[queenie-the-court-jester]

If there will be a part two for yandere online friend, once I found out im pregnant, I will cause a miscarriage on purpose and blame him for the lying, the cheating, the drugs, EVERYTHING. Tormenting him for his betrayal, because it’s not fair that he messed around with another girl while I was there for him when his own family wasn’t.

(I know i was aware high school love wasn’t gonna last but i love being petty and holding on grudges brings me joy.) 🥰💅

you're more fucked up than me dawg ��� but at the same time it's understandable?? In a way?? But then again that isn't any better than the yandere... This will be the first, and last darkfic I will ever write

Tw: self abortion, guilt tripping, toxic relationship, mentioned non-con, this whole fic is a warning in itself, self harming, suicide. readers be warned,dead dove do not eat

🥀no no NO! WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS!? WHY WOULD YOU RUIN EVERYTHING HE WAS SO CLOSE TO ACCOMPLISHING?? you were supposed to love the baby.. all in all, he goes into hysteria when he sees you on the floor of the bathroom. Blood all over the tiles and toilet

💔calling 911 and breaking down, sobbing uncontrollably as they load you onto the stretcher and go to the hospital. When you wake up, he expected you to call the police or scream for help. But you just.. stared at him? No emotion..

🥀you stayed in the hospital for a week, he stuck to your side like glue. The nurses always commented on how much of a loyal boyfriend you had, but they were met with silence. It unnerved them a bit but they just brushed it off as you processing the miscarriage

💔when Damien took you back to his house, he boarded up the windows and doors. Adding multiple locks all while looking like he was hyperventilating. Images of you bleeding flashing through his head. the doctors said it was a miracle they even managed to save you

🥀he froze when he finally heard you speak for what felt like the first time in weeks.

"this is all your fault. You did this to me."

"d-darling please! Let's not go there.."

"you're a worthless pathetic bastard. I hate you."

💔he slowly goes back into his old destructive habits, cutting his arms and smashing solid objects against his thigh or legs. Making himself feel the pain you must've felt, always crawling back to you. Bloody and bruised, begging to be forgiven

🥀he starts making up stories. Saying the girl pushed herself onto him, or he wasn't thinking straight when it happened. He'd be so unstable you could even manage to get him to off himself if you pushed him farther, taking his money and leaving his bloody corpse in the shitty house he called a home. Did he seriously expect to raise a family here? Pfft, what a weirdo..

#dead dove do not eat #dead dove fic #yandere x reader #yandere x darling #queenie writes #queenie ocs #ocs #yandere #yandere male #yandere male x reader #male yandere #tw yandere #tw death #Tw self harm #Tw yandere #Yandere boyfriend #Yandere boyfriend x reader #X reader #x afab reader #tw guilt tripping #Tw miscarriage #tw blood #Yandere oc blog #Darkfic #dead dove #Yandere boy x reader #Queenie feels unexplainably guilty and sad writing this

[amithedevil]

#we hitting heavy today just for anon #reddit #am i the asshole #aita #amitheasshole #tw miscarriage #miscarriage

[mysharona1987]

Reminder: if her product had actually gotten off the ground: literally tens of thousands of people could have died.

And Theranos already did give one person a false HIV positive and told another patient she was miscarrying when her pregnancy was, in fact, going perfectly fine.

#elizabeth holmes #nyt #true crime #news #the dropout #amanda seyfried #politics #new york times #healthcare #Tw miscarriage

[aella-targaryen]

"And when you decide it's your time to arrive

I've loved you for all of my life

And nothing could stop me from giving a try

I've loved you for all of my life"

"More" Halsey

Artist Twitter @benophiedalla

Yes, this was what really happened and no one can tell me otherwise, now don't touch me or I'm going to coming undone.

#hotd #daemon x rhaenyra #daemon targaryen #rhaenyra targaryen #rhaenyra x daemon #rhaenrya targaryen #rhaneyra targaryen #hotd spoilers #house of the dragon spoilers #daemyra #tw miscarriage

[pidgwin]

The treatment for a missed miscarriage, a miscarriage where the fetus has died but the body hasn’t realised, is abortion. Either through surgery or medication. 

I was told at my 12 week ultrasound that my baby had died 4 weeks before. I have dreamed of becoming a parent for my whole life. Those few weeks I was pregnant were the happiest of my life but the second I knew my baby had died, I felt like the living embodiment of death. I felt like a walking coffin, distinctly inhuman. Dirty down to my very soul.

I was desperate to get the beautiful child I had wished for so dearly out of my body. The 24 hours between my ultrasound and being given abortion medication were some of the hardest of my life. Abortion is healthcare. I cannot even imagine being forced to carry my baby for another moment. I also can’t imagine being forced to carry a fetus, which you do not wish to. To take that right away is disgusting and demonstrates how truly little these people know about the reality of reproductive healthcare. Pro choice always.

#pidge mumbles #tw miscarriage #miscarriage #medical ptsd #abortion #reproductive rights #pro choice #roe v wade

[morallyinept]

Adrift With You - A Frankie Morales Series - Chapter 12

Summary: Heading away on a work re-location, Frankie embarks on a flight, but unbeknownst to him, his life is about to change forever. For starters, he will need to fight for it; harder than he's ever fought for anything else before.

Marooned on an isolated island in the middle of the ocean, still recovering from an addiction, his chances of survival are bleak; but he’s not alone on the island, and soon he’s running towards a different kind of life - a life with fellow survivor, Jude, fighting right beside him every step of the way.

And if they can both survive the island together, they can survive anything, right?

Pairing: Frankie Morales x OFC Jude

Chapter word count: 6.8k

SERIES MASTERLIST | MAIN MASTERLIST

☝🏻See Series Masterlist for full smut warnings & triggers in this story. Chapters that contain smut or triggers will be highlighted in the chapter notes below. 👇🏻

Chapter notes: Frankie and Jude continue life on the island and are met with an unexpected devastation. Mentions of smut & injury. There is mention of a miscarriage in this chapter. It's not massively detailed, but is emotional. I'll highlight a trigger warning in case you'd like to skip over the parts where it's mentioned. Please protect your peace if you need to. 🖤

Some external, helpful links if you need them: UK | USA

Enjoy! 🖤

Chapter 11

She finds Frankie standing on the beach with his hand shielding his eyes under the visor of his cap, staring upwards.

“¿Qué estás mirando?” (What are you looking at?) Jude asks him in Spanish, and he looks down at her and smiles approvingly.

“Tu español está mejorando mucho." (Your Spanish is coming along quite well.)

“Well, I have a good teacher,” Jude smiles, running her hand inside his and nuzzling into his arm.

She inhales the scent of him - a scent uniquely his own, born from days spent under the scorching sun and nights beneath the star-studded sky. It’s an earthy, almost primal aroma, mingled with the subtle undertones of sweat and the salty tang of the ocean.

“Up there. There are some berries up on the ridge. I think I can get to ‘em.” He points to the ridge and under the ledge there are some wiry brambles with clusters of dark berries swaying in the breeze.

“No, Frankie. That’s fucking suicide, what if you slip?” Jude says with a frown and trying not to focus on her stomach rumbling heavily in the process.

“I won’t. I need you to help me.” He smiles as he starts walking up the hill and she follows behind him trying to protest.

“A few fucking berries, that could turn out to be poisonous by the way, isn’t worth risking your life.” Her argument has a solid point, but equally she isn't throwing her weight into it to try and stop him. She simply hasn’t the energy to fight him on this.

She doesn’t have the energy for anything anymore. 

She tries to push the discomfort to the back of her mind, focusing instead on the task at hand, anything to distract herself from the empty feeling in her belly. A dull ache settles in the pit of her stomach, growing more pronounced with each passing moment. It’s a hollow, biting sensation, like a relentless tide that threatens to consume her from within.

She can almost feel her body pleading for sustenance, craving the nourishment that seems perpetually out of reach. With a resigned sigh, Jude wraps her arms around herself, as if trying to ward off the hunger pains that seem to grip her with increasing intensity and follows behind him.

“And if they aren’t, then it’s worth the risk.” Frankie turns, walking backwards up the steep hill and grins down at her. 

His hair has become longer, shaggier; sticking out in long, floppy curls under his cap, tousled by the salty breeze and the relentless sun. Strands of chestnut brown cascade down past his ears, framing his weather-beaten face in a wild, untamed mane.

Jude shakes her head and tries not to smile back at the crazy idiot. She knows he’s right; it is worth it to see, but doesn’t mean she has to agree with his stupid-ass plan. 

“If you fall I’m gonna be so pissed.” She mutters with a tiny, renegade smirk escaping from the corner of her mouth as she puffs up the steep hill.

Up on the ridge, Frankie kicks off his worn flip-flops and crouches down on the ledge, leaning forward on his hands and knees and peering over the edge. 

It isn’t a vastly high drop, but still high enough that if he did fall onto the rocks below; he’d suffer a bad injury - a broken bone or two at the very least. And if he does hit his head? Well... he tries not to think about it.

He casts his eyes directly under the ledge and can see various rocks and anchor points jutting out of it to which he can steady himself on. Yeah, he can do this. Vamos, hijo de puta. (Let’s go, motherfucker.)

“Okay. I’m gonna lower myself down and hang onto the ledge. I need you here in case I lose my grip. You can pull me back up, alright?” Frankie explains to her, turning around on his hands and knees and shuffling backwards until he feels his feet hanging freely over it. The breeze whips between his toes.

“You say it as if it’s easy to pull a six foot-odd man back up again.” Jude sighs, kneeling down and following close to him; her face almost right in his as he inches backwards further.

“It is easy.” He smirks. “Besides, I’m five-eleven.” He stops and steals a quick kiss; his head protruding out of his neck like a turtle from its shell.

Before he can back away, Jude pulls his face back and kisses him harder. 

“I’ll be okay, I promise.” He assures her through a gaspy moan.

"Yeah. I've got you." Jude confirms.

Frankie tucks stands of renegade curls away under his cap so he can see better, and shuffles further and lowers himself down off the ledge slowly. He’s holding himself up with both his arms on the ledge supporting his body weight.

“Whoa, look at those big balls you got there,” Jude remarks with an animated face holding wide eyes at his confidence. She’s poised with her hands around his right arm, ready to grab a tight hold on to him if he says.

“They saved my life in a car crash once,” he grins sardonically up at her, squinting in the sunlight, as he steadies himself on the ridge ledge; his legs swinging below him like a pendulum to try and balance on anything he can reach with his toes.

He feels a protrusion from the ledge and rests the ball of his foot on it, curling his toes around to get a good grip.

“Did you have to do this kind of aerobatics in the Army?” She asks.

“Not quite.” He grins. He can see the bramble tossing about as the wind toys with it; those berries looking purple and juicy up this close to them. “I think I can reach it.”

“Please be fucking careful!” Jude warns, holding all the tension in her gut as she sees him reach out to the brambles with his left arm, seeming like it goes on forever like Stretch Armstrong. 

“I got it.” Frankie confirms, and the weakening muscle in his arm that’s still on the ledge flexes as his fingers dig into the ground to steady himself from slipping. 

Jude places her hand under his armpit and pulls as he hoists himself upwards onto the ledge scuttling forward. 

He wipes his knees down from the dust and pebbles that coated them and holds the branch out to her.

“Do you think they’re edible?” She asks, peering at the berries curiously.

“Only one way to find out.” Frankie pulls a few of the purple berries off the branch and hands them to her before taking some for himself. 

“The worst outcome is that we’ll get the shits and then die,” he smirks as he pops a couple in his mouth without hesitating or thinking too much about it. 

“Meh. Just another day in paradise,” Jude muses, chewing as the berries explode; their tangy juice coating the inside her mouth.

They strip the bramble of all the berries in a mere few minutes and Frankie tosses it over the ledge again as they make their way down the hill back towards the beach. 

Luckily, they didn’t get the shits or die. But equally the berries were not enough to keep their hunger at bay for very long.

TRIGGER WARNING

A week or so later, Frankie wakes up to find that Jude isn’t in the bed with him. 

A little screech alerts him to Egon’s presence, who has since braved the courage to actually venture fully into the shack, and occasionally shit all over it too, much to Frankie’s annoyance. 

It’s kinda cute though when the monkey allows Jude to pet him and even climbs on her shoulder as she walks across the beach before he’ll jump off and scarper away to wherever it is he hides on the island.

Frankie sits up, feeling the room turn on a slant and shakes his head waiting for the dizzy spell to subside. Closing his eyes, Frankie takes slow, deep breaths, willing the dizziness to pass. He can hear the distant crash of waves and the rustle of trees on the breeze, but they seem to come from a far-off place, disconnected from his spinning reality.

After a few moments, the sensation begins to subside, leaving him feeling drained and exhausted. Opening his eyes, he blinks away the lingering disorientation, trying to shake off the remnants of the dizzy spell that has momentarily overwhelmed him.

There are many dizzy spells as of late. 

Egon screeches again, like his own personal alarm clock that seems unrelenting, and Frankie gives him the finger lazily.

“I’m up, buddy.” He groans, and Egon just stares at him with eyes round and bulbous. 

Frankie calls out to Jude through a yawn, but isn’t met with a response; his eyes instead are drawn to the t-shirt discarded on the floor that has a red stain on it. 

He can feel his heartbeat accelerate inside his chest as he swings his legs out of the cushion bed and dashes out the shack. 

“Jude?” He calls out her name again and heads forward in large, panicked strides across the sand. He spots her down by the water’s edge. 

Frankie rushes over to her and finds her clutching her stomach; blood trickling on the sand underneath her. 

“Hey, hey...” He soothes, pulling her close noticing she’s crying hysterically. “Hey, what happened? Are you okay?” Frankie asks, stroking her back and noting how much blood is glistening up at him like scattered rubies over the sand. 

“I-I think I lost it...” Jude snivels through incoherent sobs and wails. 

He looks at her with widening eyes. “Lost what?” Her eyes bore into him and it drops. “Shit, you were pregnant?”

Jude shakes her head, “I-I didn’t know... I haven’t had a period for a-a long time now; I-I thought it would be okay. I’m so sorry.” She sobs.

“Come here,” Frankie pulls her back into his chest cradling her. “Sssh. Está bien, hermosa. Estás bien. You haven’t done anything wrong, okay?” (It’s okay, beautiful. You’re okay.)

She cries harder into his shoulder; crying in pain, exhaustion and disbelief that she was even carrying life inside her to even begin with. Her periods had stopped months ago, the drastic weight loss being the culprit no doubt, and despite their sex being unprotected - I mean it’s not as if you can just nip to the island pharmacy for some protection, right? - she’d been lucky that they hadn’t had a mishap prior to this.

Neither of them had really considered it; a slight invincibility when they lost themselves inside their passion, which only now birthed a terrible consequence to their recklessness. 

The harrowing sound of her wails is all he can hear, echoing around him as though it’s being blasted out of the sky onto his head to crush him. He’s winded, frozen temporarily as the sudden dawning on what has happened, comes out of nowhere unforeseen, and yet is devastating nonetheless.

As the waves crashed gently against the shore during the night, a sense of unease had settled over Jude, an inexplicable feeling of discomfort that seemed to gnaw at her from within. At first, she brushed it off as nothing more than the natural anxieties that came with their precarious situation on the island. More hunger pains, perhaps?

But as the hours passed, the sensation grew stronger, a persistent whisper of dread that refused to be ignored. Her hand instinctively drifted to her stomach as the cramps twisted and burned. With a sinking heart, Jude realised what was happening.

Tears welled in her eyes as the truth sank in - a truth too painful to acknowledge, too devastating to comprehend. In that moment, time seemed to stand still as Jude grappled with the enormity of the loss.

The grief was a physical weight, pressing down on her chest, making it difficult to breathe. Quietly leaving the shack so as not to wake or worry Frankie, she sank to her knees, the sand cool and gritty beneath her fingers, as she surrendered to the overwhelming tide of emotion that consumed her.

Through the haze of tears, she felt a pair of strong arms wrap around her, offering comfort and solace in the face of their shared sorrow. 

And as Frankie holds her close now, murmuring words of reassurance, Jude clings to him with all her strength, drawing strength from his presence in their darkest hour.

“Let’s get you cleaned up, c’mon. I got you, hermosa.” Frankie soothes standing, his voice cracking. 

He scoops her up in his arms, carrying her as she clings onto him, and wades into the sea with her until the water covers them both. He swirls it around over and in between her thighs, gently washing away the blood with his hands and kissing her forehead continually as she silently sobs and hiccups onto his bony shoulder.

He just holds her in the water in his arms, feeling how light she feels and trying not to let the tears slip out of his own eyes - but ultimately he loses that battle. He throws down everything and waves the white flag in defeat.

A little whimper slips out of him through chapped lips he squeezes together to try to prevent it, and his eyes fill with water, turning red. 

Frankie looks up at the sky as those stinging tears make tracks down his eyes, and curses whoever or whatever it is that is up there for doing this to her - for doing this to them. 

Maldito cabrón… (You fucking bastard.)

TRIGGER WARNING (EMOTIONAL DISTRESS AFTERMATH)

Days later, Frankie is up on the lookout on the ridge that he’d constructed a while back. 

It’s a simple amalgamation of branches that he’d weaved together, tying with vines to create a little shady igloo on the edge of the ridge so they had some shelter up on high.

Occasionally, Jude would come up and sit with him, but she got more and more tired making the journey up the steep hill until she stopped coming altogether.

He’d made a flag with the ugliest floral shirt of the bunch, and erected it on a thick, sturdy branch and it flapped about in the breeze. A passing boat or plane would surely notice it due to its lurid orange colour, but he’s given up any hope of it being spotted at all as the months wore on, fighting the pull inside of him to just tear it all down.

The branch igloo up on the ridge has become his thinking spot as of late, a place to escape to when it all gets a bit much. 

And it’s getting a bit much now. 

From up here he can see the shack, the rocky beachfront and the gloomy, empty horizon. He’ll glance down now and again to see Jude wander out the shack and disappear into the wooded area to return a few minutes later - sometimes with Egon on her shoulder - taking toilet breaks to relieve herself in the dugout he’d built for them.

Although the term “built” is used loosely; it’s basically a deep hole they can shit and piss in and bury it, which is far enough away that it won’t stink out the shack too much if it happens to be caught on a sea breeze. 

It’s been a few days since Jude had lost whatever it was she was carrying inside of her; lost a part of him that he’d planted inside her when they were intimate with one another. 

Historically, Frankie hadn’t thought much about becoming a father; his life spiralling out of control was too busy to accommodate parental responsibilities back in the real world.

Carla had mentioned it a few times, probably a last ditch attempt to cling onto whatever remaining shreds there was of their tattered relationship that she could, but he was always reluctant - a baby would just mess with his shit and he didn’t have time for it.

He didn’t have time for anyone in the end. He was selfish in that regard.

But it feels different now, like the decision has been snatched from him somehow, and that feeling sloshes unsettled inside of his empty stomach. A sense of restlessness stirs within Frankie, his hands subtly tremoring again as he looks down at them.

The familiar pull of darkness tugging at him, tempting him with the promise of sweet oblivion, of escaping the pain and sorrow that threatens to completely overwhelm him.

As Frankie squeezes his hands into fists, his mind engulfed in a storm of grief and despair, a familiar yearning shreds at his insides. The seductive call of stupefaction, giddy highs and surges he longs to feel filtering through his veins as he inhales.

He can hear it, whispering enticingly in the recess of his mind, promising temporary respite from the agony of their loss. 

He longs to lose himself in the numbing embrace of white, chalky powder again, to drown it all out. But even as the desire burns fiercely within him, Frankie knows that there are no drugs to be found on the isolated island.

A bitter irony settles over him as he grapples with the cruel reality of his situation. In the past, drugs had been his refuge, his escape from the harsh realities of life. Peace in a small plastic packet as he lays his head in its lap for a while.

But now, stranded on this desolate shore, there’s nowhere to run, nowhere to hide from the raw, unfiltered emotions that assail him.

He’d held Jude inside of his arms for hours after that; kept seeing the blood each time he closed his eyes, and it stung in places where he didn’t think it would sting. It felt like the walls of his chest were caving in and collapsing on top of his organs as they began suffocating him relentlessly - he couldn’t breathe. 

She cried in pain, and hardly spoke for a while as he did his best to comfort her; rubbing her tummy with his giant hand to soothe the cramps; to be there holding on tightly until she fell asleep, then slipping outside to let his own emotions come flooding out.

He had to be her fortress; he could be a crumbling castle on his own.

Frankie is exhausted, he’s sitting on the ground with his knees drawn up to his chest wearing a jacket that smells of must and sea water, keeping his own body warm against the breeze that seems sharper up on the ridge, like knives cutting into his skin.

He spots grey clouds on the horizon and wills them closer, to pour on his head and drown him - and fill the water bottles in the process. 

He doesn’t have to wait very long, they’re soon above his head and the rain is unrelenting - heavy and soaking into him. He opens his mouth, his head tilted back and lets it fill with water until it’s full and he swallows it down, repeating the process a few times, until he summons the will to trudge back down to the beach and check on the bottles.

A monotonous zombie, keeping on for keeping ons sake. It’s either that or he’ll break completely, fall off that ledge fully, but he knows he can’t leave Jude; he has to be strong for her, even if he has no strength left anymore. 

It rains non-stop for a couple of days; the most rain in succession they’ve experienced on the island thus far. They take the opportunity to drink as much as they can to stay hydrated and refill the bottles again and put the caps back on.

Jude smiles faintly at him as he crouches over the sand pulling out the bottles as they fill up and he watches her whilst she sits on the rocks completely soaked through, wondering if she’ll ever be okay again.

Wondering if he’ll ever be okay again.

Frankie wants to reach inside of her and pull out all of the hurt she’s being sucked into; a turbulent whirlpool as is he. He wants to protect her, to pull her into his arms and tell her everything is okay, but instead he’s rendered still looking at her lithe, bony frame as she wastes away in front of him, and he’s powerless to stop it. 

He’s let her down; he knows that somewhere inside of him, he’s done her a great injustice. He isn’t able to save her like he hoped he could. Those first few days on the island of living in sweet denial about being rescued was a blessing in some ways.

He’ll give anything to go back to that point and relive it - get a do over and tackle things differently. Wave a magic wand and make it all go away. Lay down with her in the sand and assure her that when they both wake up again, they’ll be home, safe - away from here. 

Frankie sighs out as she stands up and approaches him; the shorts she wears dangling low on her hips and she holds them up as she walks. 

Jude pushes a bottle of water into his hands and urges him to drink more. He does as she asks, complying for her and relishing the feel of her hand stroking inside the tendrils of curls that are now way past his ears. He pulls gently on her braid, wisps of it flying about in the breeze.

“How you doing, Rapunzel?” Frankie asks her, gently.

She runs her fingers through his greased scalp after taking off his cap and putting it on her head whilst she combs through his locks, untangling them.

Jude kisses his forehead with her dry lips, then his nose as he wraps his arms around the back of her thighs and hoists her into his lap as he sits in the damp sand, resting his chin on her head. 

“I’m okay,” she says to him. 

“You’ve been quiet,” Frankie explains gently. “How’s the cramps?” He rubs her tummy; his large palm almost covering it and massaging soothing circles over it.

His breath hitches, remembering there was once a tiny part of him growing in there. 

“Gone. The bleeding stopped too.” She looks away, and he turns her chin back towards him.

“Don’t hide from me,” he pleads to her and kisses her lips softly. 

“I’m not. I promise. How are you doing?” Jude asks him.

“Copacetic.” He shrugs. “I’m dealing.”

She nods and relaxes her head backwards onto his bony clavicle. 

“Maybe we should...” Frankie begins, not wanting to find the words, because it’ll be the death of him. “Maybe we should stop.”

She looks at him, registering what he’s getting at and it renders her mute, a sharp laceration slashing at her heart.

“We should stop having sex,” he clarifies, unable to look her in the eye. Unable to take his hands off of her for they stay wrapped around her.

She drops her gaze too.

The current is a little choppy and they listen to the sounds of the waves rolling in and out until the night sky approaches. They’re soaked through from the rain and shivering a little as they make their way back to the shack and dry off. 

Frankie holds Jude inside of his arms, kissing over her cheeks and jaw. He catches her eyes staring up at him and he rests his head on his elbow, looking back down at her as she strokes the back of his neck affectionately. 

He closes his eyes, just relishing the feel of her touch as her fingertips make infectious circles, twisting the hair at the nape of his neck around them and occasionally scratching his skin in a haunting way. 

“What are you thinking about?” Jude asks him, absorbing all the weary features of his overgrown face. 

The slight heart-shaped patch that she can trace along his jaw, still remains hairfree, despite the rugged growth of his beard.

Frankie opens his eyes, his pupils growing and adjusting to the dim light again; two dark pools of tar set inside the fantastical obsidian and gold kaleidoscopes of his irises. 

“I was thinking about how good it feels when you touch me.” Frankie replies, with a dipped smile dying a horrific death across his mouth. 

“Like this?” Jude asks, as her scratching around the back of his head intensifies; her nails raking across his skull and he shivers closing his eyes. 

“Yeah, like that.” He sighs out in a contented relief; her touch melting everything away, his body surrendering like she has him under a deep, entrancing spell.

He’ll do anything for her, be anything for her - just as long as she never stops touching him.

She lifts her head slightly and meets his lips, kissing onto him and tasting him. He kisses her back, his arm swooping under her and crushing her against his chest. 

“I can’t bear it,” she whispers. 

“What?” He asks, as he brushes his sharp nose against hers.

“The thought of you not wanting to touch me again.”

Groaning, he tenses up and closes his eyes. “I want to. Of course I want to. I just don’t-”

“It wasn’t your fault either, Frankie.” She runs her hand through his hair again, gathering it at the back of his neck in a short pony. Unruly curls fall around his face, and he’s never looked more beautiful to her then right now. 

Jude reaches down gently and feels how hard he is in his shorts; the reaction from all that scalp massaging and intensity that blooms between them when they’re affectionate - it kills him.

Frankie breathes out, his resistance waning fast, his body succumbing to that weakness that weighs heavily on him all the fucking time.

She kisses him; a silent whimper absorbing into his skin like ink, spreading through him as he kisses her back with just as much courage as she has. 

But he resists. “I don’t wanna hurt you,” Frankie whispers, his hand flat against her stomach and his eyes filling with mounting sorrow. 

But he wants to cave; cave into her selfishly as she receives him with just as much yearning, crushing them both like a tidal wave smashing their bodies and ripping them to shreds.

“You could never hurt me,” Jude replies confidently.

“I know, I just… we should wait,” he sighs out as she nestles against him, resting her head on his shoulder as he holds her close. “I wanna make sure you’re okay.”

Jude smiles as he cradles her and she can hear his heartbeat. “You’re something else, Fish.” 

He scoffs. “Hardly.”

They lay like that until Frankie can hear the shift in Jude’s breathing, laboured and heavier as she’s asleep.

They don’t last long in their abstinence. Giving in a few days later as Frankie can’t bear the temptation of surrendering on his knees as Jude smiles at him.

That's all it takes - a glimmer of genuine affection towards him that melts away his resolve down to his bones like sulfuric acid. 

They don't speak verbally, but their communication is loud and understood entirely; their language of wanton moans and breaths filtering through their skin into their senses and bloodstream. Inhaling one another in and tasting all the warm energy they create together, passing it back and forth between their bodies and souls alike.

Sex is a hunger, sex is energy; sex is love. Sex is the way a man gives love to a woman in that moment, giving his body and mind to her in equal measure and she absorbs it, absorbs him; understanding the manual of him and his moving parts. Even if some of them have been broken before. 

The spark between them is no longer a mere spark, it’s a raging fire spreading out of control and burning up everything in its path. They feel it, they feel it now; united in their grief and healing one another through touch and gasps.

Frankie presses his forehead to Jude’s, breathing in deep as he feels her tighten around his cock, feels her need for him in more ways than words can ever say.

His thumb strokes the side of her face in complete awe and he kisses her deeply, falling deeper into the starry abyss of her. And he never wants to be pulled out. 

Unable to quell that want, that need and that pain; purging it into one another and recycling it into an intense desire that neither of them has ever felt before.

She’s the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen as she comes; her body glowing, blinding him until his eyeballs dissolve into the hollows of his skull. The notes of her whines tattooed under the layers of his skin. 

And that, my friends, is what it feels like to make love. 

The constant rain has reduced the fire to nothing but a pit of sludgy ash, and the mud cement that Frankie had made when he first constructed the shack, almost a year ago now, is starting to melt. 

He notices the shack looking a little on the slant as he wakes up one morning and can see water trickling in through the wooden planks.

The ocean waves are more ferocious as the days wear on and whilst he re-coats the outside of the shack in the mud sludge again when a lull in the rain comes, the feisty current makes it impossible to fish in the bay. 

Jude takes to thoroughly scouting the wood for any sign of food after the school of fish has dwindled alarmingly, with Egon attached to her shoulder and occasionally getting his tiny foot tangled in her knotty braid. 

“You must be eating something,” she says to the fuzzy haired critter, side-eyeing him. “There’s been no fish for you to steal for a while.” 

Egon simply screeches and scuttles across her other shoulder before dashing up into the trees and disappearing. She stops, looking up and watching him go; swinging on the vines, and then something catches her eye. 

Jude steps back and spots lots of pods hanging off some branches above her in the canopy; covered by the tree leaves as they drape. They aren’t obvious to spot with the naked eye. If it wasn’t for Egon, she would’ve never noticed and carried on completely unaware. 

“You little shit,” she calls to the monkey shaking her head in disbelief. 

There’s no way she can simply reach up and pick them, they’re too high. Jude looks about and approaches a tree that looks easy enough to climb to her immediate left, and starts to steady her footing as she reaches up to the branches elevating herself. 

Jude takes her time; climbing trees is easy enough for kids without a sense of danger, but as an adult stranded miles from any medical care, she knows she has to be sensible about this.

She climbs further up, testing to see if the branches can support her weight before fully hoisting herself up on them. She reaches forward and pulls a branch closer to her, hearing Egon screeching further up in the treetops. 

“Yep. I’m stealing your food now, buddy. See how you like it, huh?” Jude chuckles to herself. He still continues to protest much to her mirth.

“You’re lucky we didn’t eat you, okay?” She scolds the monkey as he appears on the other tree adjacent to her, shaking a branch and some of the pods fall to the ground. 

She reaches for some and plucks them, examining them in her hand. They’re knobbly and bumpy to the touch, like peapods but only more bulbous and slightly bigger.

She cracks the outer pod shell open with her nails and inside is a gummy sap. 

The flesh inside has a similar consistency to a cherry, and as she sniffs it, it smells incredibly saccharine. She pops some in her mouth, wincing at how tartly sweet it is and there’s a pip that she spits out as her teeth crunch against it. 

Jude reaches up for some more, swallowing. “No wonder you wanted to keep these to yourself.” She remarks glancing over at Egon who’s chewing through his own pod greedily. 

She shakes her head smiling, and reaches forward for more, but then promptly loses her footing and falls forward out of the tree. 

Frankie steps back and smears his fingers over the fresh layer of sludgy mud cement, patting it down smoothly.

He wipes the back of his hand across his sweaty forehead, squinting in the dim light to inspect the job he’s almost completed.

He looks up at the sky and can see it hasn’t changed from that heavy grey hue all day, and hopes the rain will hold off until the cement dries at least. 

He hears something in the distance as he rounds the front of the shack, mixing the mud with his hand again and stops, listening out furtively. 

He hears it again - it’s his name being called in the distance.

“FRANKIE!” 

He drops the cement tin and scoots out towards the tree line, stopping to listen every few seconds. 

He calls out for her, wiping his muddy hand down his shorts. She calls back, her voice getting louder as he follows it through the trees.

“Jude?”

“Frankie!”

“Jude?”

“Marco.”

He smirks. “Polo. Where are you?” Frankie calls out again, scanning the bushes for any movement.

“I’m over here!” Jude lifts her hand up as high as she can and winces, gasping out in incredible pain as she moves. 

She hears rustling and then Frankie appears through the shrubs. He rushes to her when he sees her in a crumpled heap on the ground. 

She’d lain there for a few moments after the fall, trying to determine whether she was still alive or not; the thudding of her heart, the adrenaline rush making her breath uncatchable in her throat. The fuzzing in her ears and the feel from the soft pads of her fingertips scraping against the ground as she tried to push herself upright, seemed like the only senses she could focus on.  

But then she’d felt a sudden stabbing rush through her left arm and into her shoulder and collarbone, and collapsed upon herself once more as the pressure was too much. 

“What the fuck happened?” Frankie reaches forward, and as soon as he touches her arm she screams out at him. 

“No! No! Don’t touch it!” Jude wails in an eerie screech. 

“Shit, what did you do?” 

“I fell out of the tree, I think it’s broken.” She groans as she tries and fails to sit up again. 

Frankie looks up at the tree above her. “What were you doing up there?”

“Egon.”

“Oh, so you’re copying the fuckin' monkey now?” Frankie smirks at her incredulously. 

“No, he has a food source up there, look.” She opens her right hand and he takes the pods out of it that she’s still holding on to. 

“What are they?” He brings it up to his nose and sniffs it. 

“I think it’s tamarind.” Jude breathes out heavily like a woman going into labour, puffing through deep, intense breaths. 

“Tamarind?” He questions.

“Yeah. Taste it, it’s really sweet.” She says.

He cracks open the pod and smells the sticky gum on his fingers, sucking them and putting a piece inside his mouth.

“Fuck. That's pretty sweet,” he winces at first before spitting out the pip. 

“Yeah.”

“Alright Tarzan. Let’s get you up, slowly.” Frankie swallows and reaches for her other arm and pulls her up gently as he hooks his arm around her waist. 

“If I’m Tarzan, that means you’re Jane.” Jude chuckles as she grits her teeth. 

“I’ll rock it.” He remarks. 

The pain in her arm overwhelms everything, and for a moment it feels as though it’s been fully ripped off her body and is still on the ground somewhere else.

He pushes her arm into her chest for protection, realising from her shrieks as she cries out in pain that it’s either definitely broken or dislocated at least. He’ll see to that later; right now he has to get her out of here, get her somewhere safe and calm her down.

“I got you.” Frankie slings her other arm around his neck as he supports her upright and begins to drag her away on her jellified feet back in the direction of the shack. 

“At least we have something to eat again, for now...” Jude says as he sits her on the cushion bed. 

“Yeah, although you should’ve waited for me; what if you’d hit your head or something?” Frankie scolds as he picks out a shirt from the case and unfolds it.

“I didn’t, I’m okay.”

“Only just,” he remarks with a frown. “Can you take your t-shirt off?”

“If you can help me, sure.”

He nods and kneels down in front of her helping her to slip her undamaged arm out of the sleeve and then over her head; she has the bikini top on underneath and he glances at the bones of her ribcage visible under her skin as they protrude outward. 

His eyes find hers and they’re swimming in a concerned sadness, as though it pains him more than he lets on to see her suffering like this.

He tries to mask his angst-like expression as best as he can, but she can see right through it.

Jude feels his fingers probe them, running across the ridges slightly. She looks back down at her arm and he doesn’t mention her rib cage verbally. He doesn’t need to; they’re both fully aware of their starving quandary.

Slowly, Frankie moves the t-shirt down her other arm and she cries out at the slightest movements. “I know. Easy, baby.”

He looks over her shoulder and arm and can’t see any obvious signs of a bone sticking out. He inspects her back and runs his fingers lightly over her skin. 

“Okay, tell me when it hurts.” He says.

“What are you... OWWW, FUCK!!” She yells out as his fingers press in just under her shoulder joint and he feels a softness where there shouldn’t be. 

He presses in the same spot on her other shoulder and feels bone instead. 

“I think you popped your shoulder out.” Frankie confirms. 

“You think or you know, Doctor Morales?” Jude asks him through a sharp frown and watery eyes. 

He digs his thumbs into her right shoulder that’s fine, and feels around feeling for where the joint is, like a map he’ll remember for the other shoulder.

“I can try and pop it back in for you.”

“What if you trap a nerve, shouldn’t we just leave it?” She protests with panicked eyes.

Frankie shakes his head. “If you wanna walk around with a dislocated shoulder for the rest of your life, be my guest.” He remarks with a huff. “I’ve done this before.”

“When?”

“On duty. One of the guys in my unit fell down a blast hole, and we had to fix it. No med help in the middle of the desert.” He shrugs casually. 

She sighs out. “Okay... let’s do it.”

“It’s gonna hurt.”

“It already fucking hurts!” Jude snaps at him.

Frankie pulls her wrist down from her chest slowly and holds her hand, stroking his thumb over the knuckles before squeezing it. 

“On the count of three,” Frankie places his left hand around her wrist and the other one further up her damaged arm. 

She squeezes her eyes shut and takes a deep breath in, grinding her teeth together. 

“Uno.” Frankie counts in Spanish. He tightens his grip around her arm and she whimpers, bracing herself.

"Oh fuck."

“Dos.” He shunts her arm upwards and twists in a quick succession, and Jude screams out so loudly that it sounds like she’s being murdered.

“Tres!” Frankie finishes casually as he lets go of her arm. 

“FUCK!” Jude blinks through tears that begin to blind her. 

“I think I got it, I heard it pop in.” Frankie reaches for the shirt and ties a tourniquet around her shoulder to support it and then kisses her head gently. 

“Oh God...” She says, leaning forward and feeling woozy. 

“You okay?” 

“No, I think I’m gonna puke.” She coughs and breathes out slowly, willing herself to get through the searing pain that radiates down her arm and into her fingertips. She can feel herself heave, but nothing comes up. 

“Slowly, just breathe.” Frankie says, rubbing her back.

Jude sits upright, breathing in and swallowing again. She tastes bile as Frankie hands her a bottle of water. She sips from it slowly and breathes out. "Oh God."

“Better?” Frankie asks her with concerned eyes.

“Not in the slightest. Jesus, that’s fucking kills.”

He smiles gently and reaches forward, kissing her head. “You’ll be okay. Just don’t climb any more trees.”

“Yes, Jane.” She mocks as he smirks at her.

To be continued...

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