#tw peer abuse

[moontheyo]

Currently the time where I live is the day I first rediscovered cod zombies.... let me talk about it real quick.

As a kid, I used to play the game a bit with my dad, but most of the time chickening out and having nightmares of the zombies. I would hide on the stairway just to hear 115 playing while my dad played Kino Der Toten.

Going back, I've learned more about the Ultimis crew(and Samantha), and everything changed. Listening to their quotes and the Christmas album over and over again, seeing loads of fanart, and getting better at the game. They gave me the joy almost nothing else have and I would not trade it for anything else.

Though while rediscovering, I fell into a really bad toxic group in the fandom. Calling me a mistake, forced me into an rp I didn't want to be a part of, being cheated on, making it like I was the bad one.... it was hell. Hell on earth.

From that, I'm glad to have met new people in the fandom years later. It may be a little quiet, but I always feel safe and having a great time. To those people, thank you. For helping me see the good in the community.

Going back to cod zombies completely changed my life. For the better and worse. And that is something I will never want to take back. Ever.

#cod zombies #call of duty zombies #codz #ultimis crew #tw toxic behavior #tw peer abuse #tw abuse #vent

[afewskittlesshortofarainbow]

I think I should be allowed to fist fight children

#niki talks #I'm a minor so it's technically peer on peer abuse #tbf i think I'd lose #violence tw

[cuntess-carmilla]

Post #I lost count about how I suffered child sexual abuse (both child-on-child and from a pedo) for 8 consecutive years starting at age 6, and I suffered from very intense, systemic, verbal, social and psychological only bullying for 6 years also starting at age 6.

And the one which definitely fucked me up the most, irreversibly, for life; the one that WILL be in my suicide note if the trauma does finally kill me, no matter if it's now at 31 or in the future at 80, is the bullying, not the CSA.

And trust me, I'm not saying the CSA didn't fuck me up good and probably for life, because Lord, it certainly did. But the bullying fucked me up WAY worse and I'll never be able to heal those wounds. I've tried everything. I've made peace with the fact that I'll always be deeply traumatized by it and that it will affect my self-perception, interpersonal relationships and general wellness forever, for the worst of course. There is no silver lining.

Wait, I lied a little about the bullying only being verbal, social and psychological. My main bully secretly was also my first child sexual abuser (he forced me to be his secret girlfriend while still bullying me in front of the other kids) which were the only times he was "nice" to me and although I never wanted his "niceness" either, it was still better than what I got the rest of the time. He abused me sexually (and other little girls our age or younger) in secret, while calling me ugly and telling me nobody loved me in public, which fucked me up with the thoughts that I only deserve to breathe if I'm fuckable (which isn't love but it's all I can aspire to in my mind) and when I'm ugly I deserve ruthless organized abuse that will slowly drive me to death by my own hands, and to be unloved. Big part of the organized bullying was them convincing me that nobody loved me and never would. Yes, we were all 6-12 years old.

My crimes to Deserve™ the bullying were being autistic (undiagnosed but still VERY detectable as "weird") with latent lesbianism btw.

Bullying is never as non-complex as "kids just being mean".

#csa tw #cocsa tw #suicide tw #bullying tw #peer abuse tw

[if-loki-was-a-fox]

Here's some Exile AU Peer Pressure Duo rambling bc I haven't said any of this on Tumblr yet — CW for references to abuse, manipulation, trauma, and general unhealthy relationship and Exile Arc stuff

(as always, thank you to @proudfreakmetarusonniku for helping me come up with this AU and a lot of this stuff specifically)

So when exile!Dream discovers exile!Tommy's attempt to hide stuff from him and blows up Logstedshire, he also chops of exile!Ranboo's tail to make the punishment even greater.

e!Tommy, finally realizing that e!Dream isn't their friend (something e!Ranboo still doesn't realize btw) and being unable to properly take care of e!Ranboo's injuries, tells e!Ranboo to run and find e!Techno's cabin, hoping that e!Techno will take care of e!Ranboo and e!Dream won't care enough about losing only on of them to go after e!Ranboo.

So e!Ranboo is badly injured and just generally not doing great after ages in exile, losing their tail, and then running through the tundra in old tattered cloths, so after they pass out on e!Techno's porch they're unconscious/barley conscious for days while e!Techno (and probably e!Phil too) nurse them back to health.

e!Ranboo has no real memories of L'Manburg and hasn't for a while at this point, and by the time they recover from their injuries they don't remember a whole lot about Exile either (esp not with how traumatic the whole thing was). They do however, still have a lot of conditioning left over and a very messed up view on what friendship looks like thanks to what e!Dream taught them. (e!Ranboo absolutely starts trying to figure out what e!Techno wants and likes and doing that and only that to avoid punishment as soon as they wake up, given that they think that's just how relationships work)

So in canon DSMP c!Ranboo has a tendency to use gifts as their main friendship gesture (see, giving c!Timmy alliums, giving c!EmDuo gifts their first or second day in the tundra, and giving c!Techno the ax). This is exacerbated with exile!Ranboo.

For as long as e!Ranboo can remember, one of his two best friends would come by every couple days and take all the stuff he made in the meantime. As such, e!Ranboo thinks they don't deserve to own things and that it's a normal give up all their stuff to e!Techno, the actual owner of all their things. e!Ranboo basically repeats the "put your items in the hole" by giving e!Techno their stuff frequently and getting anxious when they have stuff for too long, something e!Techno doesn't initially pick up on and recognize as abnormal or a trauma thing (he's just overwhelmed by the excessive "affection" and unsure how to emotionally process it).

(One day, e!Techno makes a comment on this behavior and e!Ranboo reacts badly thinking they did something wrong, which is when e!Techno finally realizes that this is Not Normal.)

Also, an important context on e!Techno's part: e!Techno is initially very oblivious to e!Ranboo's trauma, but even as he starts to slowly uncover stuff about e!Ranboo's trauma and abuse, he assumes it comes from L'Manburg, given that L'Manburg is, in his eyes, the Corrupt Evil Government that exiled e!Ranboo and e!Tommy (innocent kids) and tried to execute e!Techno in front of e!Philza. On top of that, what little e!Ranboo does remember of Exile is that e!Dream was his friend, so why would e!Techno ever even consider that e!Dream abused them?

(anyways, if you couldn't tell already, this is very much an Angst/Horror type of AU. e!Techno here is very well set up to side fully with e!Dream against L'Manburg and generally be easily manipulated by him on an ongoing basis. There's a non-zero chance this AU ends with e!Dream getting his really messed up Big Happy Family that he so wants.)

#ranboo exile au #exiled ranboo au #also to clarify my characterkzation of e!Dream is heavily based on Metaru's characterization of c!Dream #manipulation #manipulation tw #abuse #abuse tw #trauma #cdream #endersmile duo #peer pressure duo #cranboo #ranboo #ctechno #technoblade #rambling about blorbos

[dsgustng]

Sometimes i just.. think about how every single family member or adult/guardian etc in my life ranged from being clearly annoyed or uninterested in me; just sorta tolerating my existence at best to physically assaulting me and verbally abusing me day in and day out at worse. I don't think I had a single positive influence growing up. No one loved me or found worth in my existence. I'd show people my heart and they'd throw it to the ground and stomp on it. I'd show people my artwork and they'd tear it up in front of me, my comfort objects confiscated and destroyed, my special interest mocked. I couldn't just be "normal". Everything about me was an annoyance. Something worth punishing me over..... I can't... Think of a single person who showed me unconditional kindness. I don't understand what I did to deserve that kind of treatment.. I really don't ..

#teachers thought it was funny to humilate and bully me in front of my peers because i was the weird 'problem child' #anything i used as an escape just became another source of pain #my artwork was constantly thrown away and ripped up #my comfort objects were constantly taken and stolen/destroyed too by other kids #and it go home and get mercilessly abused by my mom every single day #teachers were mean. my peers were mean. my family snd other adults were mean #the only ppl who were nice to me were the adults who were grooming me of course i was easy prey #grooming tw #child abuse #ableism #the torment is fucking endless i can hardly function #how do i fucking live like this how do i grow from this #it feels hopeless at times im fucking serious #i feel like i was born to fucking kill myself #suicide tw #negative #vent

[fiendy]

I just read ur tags about Dave’s eating habits and Yeah. I generally don’t share them cuz they can be triggering so I won’t just spring them on u but just know. U r so seen by me

DUDE you can spring anything on me. never be afraid to post and share your truth. this isnt twitter. no one will mob you probably

#i meannn as long as you tag i see no issue. you give good to great takes on the kids i KNOW theres so much stuff in ur drafts #not to peer pressure you or anything. but if peer pressure works on you then im asking you to preach about strider abuse. #tw abuse

[aspd-culture]

(plural) ASPD culture is half the system forming due to ASPD-related trauma

aspd-culture is

#mood #being rejected by your peers for some integral difference you can't yet comprehend #is a darn good reason to need a system #that's pretty much where most of mine came from #besides the abuse #actually antisocial #actually aspd #antisocial personality disorder #aspd #aspd awareness #aspd culture #aspd-culture-is #aspd traits #anons welcome #tw trauma

[y0ur-local-crypt1d]

joke?

#vent #peer abuse #bullying #tw bees #tw bugs #ventcore #not ok for rb

[moontheyo]

I finally said something to the ones in my class who are just assholes to others. Yelled it from my soul. At the ones who've been draining me this whole school year.

I've never been more proud and terrified at the same time.

#the teachers and principal weren't mad... Thankfully. They understood. #and as much as I don't care what those guys will do to me in the future.. I'm still scared. #tw bullying #stop bullying #stop peer abuse #bullying #vent

[irenespring]

Tw child abuse

"As we all know, boys respond best to beatings and the withholding of food."

---Evelyn Sader, School for Good and Evil book 2, having apparently graduated the John House School of Parenting

#school for good and evil #evelyn sader #a world without princes #house md #john house #tw child abuse #why yes I am relistening to the School for Good and Evil audiobooks #I have to to prepare for this AU I'm going to write #And also because I haven't done a full reread/listen in years and wanted to see if it's as batshit and problematic as I remember #Which yes it is #But that kind of makes it fun if you don't take it at face value #(Kind of like House MD but with much less actual purpose on the author's end) #I just got to that quote in the audiobook and I was immediately like “John House” #This blend of hyperfixations will produce a very good AU I am confident #Once every so often I return to the world of SGE and am like “...what is going on there” #And then “what a fascinating dystopia I must use it to put blorbo in situations” #And so here we are with AU planning almost complete and awaiting final peer review

[identity-turducken]

I should probably put a warning up here TW: abuse? I've been a homunculus. I've never felt real, and have never had a real definition on my own. I've always been a friend of someone, or the cousin, the brother, or even the one who helped. My name and face were forgettable and I wouldn't have had it any other way. I never wanted to be the main character, I wanted to be the sidekick, the funny best friend, the kind of character that only exists to interact with the main character and doesn't have a story of their own. I filled the part perfectly too, I went latching from person to person attaching just long enough to have them consider to get to know me deeper, and then swinging to the next person before we could really connect. The problem with this approach is eventually you're bound to run into someone who will recognize who you are and won't want to make that connection, and just like that you're stuck attached to them waiting for a signal that will never come. I stayed attached to him for years, from my final years of elementary school until my first year of college. He was where I went after school, and he was who I would try to see during it. I made other friends, but he was without a doubt my best. I found myself jealous one day of another of his friends that he was growing closer with, surely they weren't as close as we were though, I knew everything about him, his family, his hobbies, his favorite everything. I think he knew my favorite color, and the games I liked to play but not much else. I had to wait for him to want to know more so that I could leave, but it never came. It was a toxic thing, it wasn't romantic, but it felt like it had the weight of a romance, after all he was my only "real" friend. Eventually we split, he took a semester across the ocean and I stayed right here in our shitty state. If you ask anyone about why I picked my college they will tell you a half truth, that I picked it because it was the first result for googling a degree in my field in my state, but there was another reason I chose it. He was going to go there too. I thank the stars, the lord and whatever else it could be every day for having him take that semester abroad. If he didn't there's a good chance I'd still be stuck to him, waiting for my sign that would never come.

#mentally fucked #tw abuse #emotional abuse #peer abuse #long post

[nando161mando]

Sound of Freedom hero Tim Ballard allegedly pressured women to take showers with him or share a bed, ostensibly to fool human traffickers, asking one “how far she was willing to go" to save kids.

#sound of freedom #tim ballard #tw abuse #assault #peer pressure #human trafficking #fraudsters #frauds #fraud #bigots #bigot #hypocrisy #hypocrite #this has been a psa #important psa #just a psa #psa #just fyi #just a general fyi #also fyi #fyi #ausgov #politas #auspol #tasgov #taspol #australia #neoliberal capitalism #fuck neoliberals #anthony albanese