I was thinking and you know, I’m really amazed with myself and need to give myself more credit for not slipping back into cutting myself in 2020. Like I was in my worst case scenario, trapped with my family and unable to see anyone else or go anywhere else, no respite, no hope and yet I still manged to take care of myself for the most part.
I got through it without cutting and without alcohol and teenage me would never ever believe it. I barely believe it. I’m absolutely amazed. There was a time years ago when I would I cut myself everyday, multiple times a day, pretty much living off of sleeping pills, caffeine and self hatred and yet I ended up getting through the thing I swore I could never handle without those things. I think I only I used a sleep aid twice that whole year?
I’m speechless. I’m so proud of myself. I can hardly believe it.
Me: Omg I love watch_dogs its SO fun!!! I adore Aiden Pearce!!! The story is so so cool!!!
Also me: *Actually crying, heart pounding, sweaty, screaming in frustration, and hitting myself with the controller after dying for the 17th time on a car chase mission*
Oh Jack hits himself to punish himself…..relatable…..I love Jack…..I am Jack
The problem with social media exaggeration is I feel like I’m exaggerating when I explain how my anxiety feels. Like, I feel like I want to eat the skin off my arms, sort of anxiety. Sounds like I’m making a haha joke but like, it really is THAT bad
Anyway, I love exaggeration and hate anxiety, so I’m just….vibin’
Hey y'all, I’ve been feeling a bit better. I’m hoping to be clean from cvtting when I start school again.
However school seems like it’s gonna mess me up and stress me out, any tips on how to cope with that?
so sick of it all
I’ll be 2 years clean from self harm on March 19th. weird.
Okay so like. I haven’t read any fazbear frights books bc I’m broke and i mainly rely on dawko and reddit for reviews, summaries, and book quotes/parts etc but the way dawko talks about certain characters bothers me??? Like idk if i can explain why? So I’m sorry if this all seems nonsensical
But like basically how he talks about characters that struggle with understanding social cues? Dismissive and like he always just calls them creeps?
Or like when he mentioned the protag of hide and seek and mentioned finding the characters behaviour funny? Like??? The protag was literally harming himself to get rid of the shadow bonnie that got stitched to his back that only he could see. That’s????? Not funny at all??? Like he basically was like “hahahah only he sees shadow bonnie and does all of these harmful things to make it disappear but it doesn’t. The protag is so stupid” which. Hm.
Or like how he calls characters that made certain decisions stupid? Like bro what did you except? That they would just get over their trauma the second they got away without seeing anyone for it? Like idk dude the way he dismisses behaviours, emotions, etc seems toxic and on some parts ableist. Like yeah the books never confirm the characters being neurodivergent or mentally ill but there seem to be lots of hints to that and the fact that those “symptoms” seem to be the things he comments on the most? I feel like calling it ableist would be right?
Not just this though, he has played ableist games in which the antagonists are mentally ill or neurodivergent. (In one of them the antagonist was just one mix of all cluster b personality disorders and it was so gross, couldn’t even watch the playthrough bc i had a hunch it would happen and checked the wiki. I was right. So i just closed the tab)
Was tagged by: @captain-aralias
nickname: Ollie or Lollie or Lollipop
countries I’ve been to: US, that’s it
last thing I googled: types of tea. We have to create a database for one of my classes, and my group is doing it on tea
song stuck in my head: Driver’s License by Olivia Rodrigo
wearing: black skinny jeans from Hot Topic, a black long-sleeved shirt, and combat boots
favorite author: I’m not sure if I have one right now
favorite instrument: piano
aesthetic: I don’t even know anymore lol
Home aesthetic: idk this either; how do I describe an aesthetic??
favorite song: right now, it’s Driver’s License
favorite animal sounds: the chattering of squirrels
what’s one thing you’ll admit to tumblr and not in real life? I used to be suicidal. My long hidden secret I can’t tell anyone about. A couple of people knew I was self-harming, but I never told them more than that.
Tw /// very heavy themes of depression and mentions of s/h.
i am actually going to gnaw off my own arm /dramatic /nsrs
(vent in the tags so-)
Fandom: My Hero Academia
Characters: Regressor!Katsuki Bakugou (aka. Kacchan), worried!Izuku Midoriya (aka. Deku), worried!Shouta Aizawa (aka. Sensei), caregiver!Eijiro Kirishima, and the rest of 1A as background characters
Summary: Izuku notices Kacchan regressing in class and makes the mistake of following him when he leaves, intending to try and help.
Content warnings: Graphic descriptions of violence. Dissociation. Trauma. Bullying. Prevented (unintentional) self-harm. Self-neglect. Physical abuse. Verbal abuse. Mild burns. Blood. This fanfiction raises many questions and issues and doesn’t necessarily solve all of them, although everyone receives physical care by the end.
Author’s Note: Please note the content warnings and exercise caution when reading. I just finished the third season of My Hero Academia, and I have many emotions about the way the relationship between Katsuki and Izuku is handled by both the writers and the characters in the show. I’m also aware that their dynamic is a popular one in the fandom, and thus something I might be asked to write when I open requests again. This story was my attempt at figuring out how I felt about that. (Conclusion: I’m willing to write regressor!Katsuki with other caregivers, but not with Izuku, and vice-versa. I promise my regressor!Katsuki fics will not all be this angsty. I just had to get this one out of my system.)
Patton would see someone’s very obvious self harm scars and ask what they’re from and then continue asking even when the person become visibly uncomfortable and asks him to stop
𝕱 𝖎 𝖗 𝖘 𝖙 𝕴 𝖒 𝖕 𝖗 𝖊 𝖘 𝖘 𝖎 𝖔 𝖓 𝖘
+ one thousand pairs of eyes everyday , some familiar , most estranged . careful not to cross optics , sights focused on the grime
ash that the concrete skin of the city collects . he’ll be caught skulking corners of collected buildings , navigating himself to the easiest pack of cigarettes available before the beginning of what’ll be too long of a night shift . he’s hesitant to fuss ,
however ; enamored with any
+ it’s when the sun rises , & caspar’s neglected memories are grasping for any oxygen their hands can reach ; blood - thirsty intrusions . pale , delicate & guilty skeletal fingers frantically finding safety in another cigarette & chrome heirloom zippo . cruelly `easing` mind & body , subjecting mind to vices & 𝖇𝖔𝖉𝖞 to the 𝖘𝖔𝖋𝖙 𝖒𝖚𝖙𝖎𝖑𝖆𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓 the flame can fulfill . left hand left covered in ash , residual pain not dissimilar to the sting of flossing too hard you wince , & just cannot help to not do it again .
𝕬 𝖕 𝖕 𝖊 𝖆 𝖗 𝖆 𝖓 𝖈 𝖊
+ muted ,
dull colors thread themselves into metallic fabric
& latex . uncomfortably tight clothes always preferable , satisfaction found in the provided containment . a clear plastic trench - style coat drapes atop a black tank top tucked into red fabricated leather jeans . his job has shaped his wardrobe into abrasive but beautiful clothing ; never colorful . always glistening .
+ black metal chains drip softly down his neck & wrists ; juxtaposing their brutalist design in nature . nails painted to match , definitely chipped . obsidian studs in pierced ears , often spinning them with whatever unoccupied digits decide wander off . get close enough to smell him , you’re lucky to catch notes of fruity body oil & musk - based cologne ― if the cloak of smoke hadn’t been freshly 𝖗𝖊𝖎𝖓𝖙𝖗𝖔𝖉𝖚𝖈𝖊𝖉 . tongue stinging with cinnamon gum & tobacco .
ITS BEEN 2 ½ MONTHS, MY DUDES. IVE BEEN CLEAN FOR 2 ½ MONTHS!!!
I used to talk to the Trevor Project s//lf h//rm prevention and su//cide prevention hotlines a lot so Ranboo doing this makes me feel extremely extremely happy