Dw it’s completely normal. I know several MaDDers including me who have the same problem. I’m also attracted to girls and nb and I’m ace-spec but I get intrusive sexual daydreams of m|m couples (most of my paras are gay males anyway). I wish I could give an explanation for why it happens but I have no theories
by now im experienced enough to know the moves when someone is trying to intentionally hurt me with his dick. no, wait, rephrase, when someone is intentionally hurting me. i learned it from how it feels, from telling me that you are punishing me, and from telling you that it hurts this way and i would like it better that way and you still doing it every fucking time the way it hurts, because what you really want to do is cause pain, and you expect i cum like that, just because you order me to. ahahahahahaaaa idiot.
ill reblog this with something random each time i want either drugs or sex
Sometimes I think about the guy I hooked up with a couple of years ago. He was a really great guy except for the fact that he didn’t tell me he had a wife/gf (I never found out which). But like. I explained to him before we started that I was nervous because of trauma and I might dissociate a bit and he proceeded to make sure I was comfortable with everything we were doing before we did it and when I started to dissociate he checked in again.
Now, it may have been my first time with a guy but I know it wasn’t great sex. The actual sex part of it was just…not fantastic. It wasn’t harmful to me in any way, I just didn’t enjoy it. It was actually super helpful for me though because I used that hookup to solidify in my mind a positive sexual experience with a guy. I didn’t want my only memories of being intimate with a guy to be trauma related. That was my intention all along. And it worked really really well for that. I still have my trauma memories, those aren’t going anywhere, but I needed that experience to provide me with concrete evidence that sex with guys didn’t have to be terrible and traumatizing.
I am furious. And sad. And deeply disturbed at the sheer nature of the world we live in.
Some of the worlds most powerful people were involved in a multi-billion dollar international sex trafficking ring, including Donald Trump, who is currently the leader of the free world. Wealthy individuals from all over the world including former president Bill Clinton, Kevin Spacey, Chris Tucker, Prince Andrew the Duke of York, U.S Attorney General William Barr, Woody Allen, Naomi Campbell and so many more very very wealthy and powerful people. The worlds richest people all involved in a sex trafficking syndicate of underage children to become sex slaves. It’s disgusting, abhorrent, and absolutely mindboggling to read the testimonies of these minors and what they were forced and lured into doing.
In addition, in a summary posted by #Anonymous , the international hacking network, former British intelligence official carried out direct orders from Prince Philip and the British Crown to assinate Princess Diana. (All I can think about is all the good that poor woman was trying to do and her children that now have to endure knowing that their own family ordered the murder of their mother)
If that isn’t enough, we all know people of color have been wrongly murdered at the hands of those in uniform long before slavery was abolished. And in the 150+ years since the “abolition” of slavery, the same foundational principles of racism and oppression still exist deeply rooted in every aspect of society. From the financial markets and the housing markets, to healthcare (including mental health) and education, there is a very very deep discrepancy between who is oppressed and who is free. And we all know I hope the extent to which the military, police, and overarching government oppress and silence entire groups of people for existing. National guards and police districts have enacted what looks like a war zone — targeting journalists, medics, and peaceful protesters who are exercising their first amendment right to assembly. Innocent men, women, and children die every day at the hands of those who swear to protect us but keep a gun on their waists and disgusting thoughts in their heads.
If you aren’t completely outraged and disturbed by what is going on, please unfollow me. This world is hurting. Our people are hurting. We’re angry. In all aspects of this world right now: NO JUSTICE, NO PEACE. Do not let them silence you. We will fight back and one way or another we will achieve the change we deserve for our communities. When a government does not follow the will of the people and the laws become tyrannical, it is the right of the people to alter or abolish it and institute a new government in its place.
Stay safe, stay hopeful, stay informed.
i recently learned that my sister never got The Talk and im kinda annoyed about it cause i got The Talk when i was 11, on a snow day, in the middle of a blizzard, driving around with my dad, both of us wearing neon snowsuits, and he was like “yeah this is a good time” and i wanted to open the door and jump out of the moving car into a snowdrift
and tHE FACT THAT SHE DIDNT HAVE TO ENDURE THE LEVEL OF AWKWARDNESS IS BLASPHEMY
TW: sex (cause apparently I need to do that now)
I mean texting and pictures and phone calls 👀🤤 gets real kinky sometimes and I’m here for it
What He Said
Hong Kong, on the phone: I’m here in my hotel. Let’s cuddle, I’m bored.
Iceland, on the phone: Give me ten minutes to come.
Hong Kong: That’s what he said.
Iceland: Okay, give me fifteen minutes, I’m gonna look for a knife to shove up your ass.
Hong Kong, smirking: You said yes to being my boyfriend.
Iceland: There’s still time.
America, blushing: Aww, so that’s why you’re smiley when you call me that sometimes, that so sweet.
Japan, trying not to smirk: Oh, I agree, darling; it’s l an adorable name for you, and quite fitting, really
There’s probably a reason why Japan would call him that.
aspec things i do:
- “ugh i love this song except for the clear sexual lines but i’m going to just ignore them”
- “can i even call things sexy if i don’t experience sexual attraction” (of course i can it’s just a fucking word)
- “this is aesthetic attraction right?? sure hope so otherwise i’ll have to question my identity again”
- “wait do i even experience romantic attraction or do i just like the idea of romance”
- “no way any allo person will ever want to stay with me b/c i literally won’t be sexually attracted to them and sexual attraction is a big thing in relationships i think”
- “i wish i could skip this sex scene but it’s essential to the plot”
- “if someone kissed me would i even like it”
- “anyone i date is going to be so disappointed”
- “the person i am dating clearly experiences sexual attraction how am i supposed to be a good partner for them”
- “ew get this sexual image/thought out of my brain right now gross”
- “I don’t understand if this person is being hyperbolic with this description of their sexual attraction or if they’re being truthful but it would be so fucking weird to ask”
- “how can i convey ‘i think this person is pretty but would never fuck them’ when writing tags on pictures of people”
Rattled and Relief Starters
“Hey…” Luke reached over and caressed Guy’s face gently. “M’fine. Just a bit sore like usual.” Smiling tiredly, he tried to reassure his blond. Pushing him down with him, he laid his head and mass of red locks over Guy’s shoulder. “Jus’ rest…”
“Oh, the boy’s a slag, the best you ever had
The best you ever had is just a memory and those dreams
But not as daft as they seem, not as daft as they seem
My love, when you dream them up,”
when ur just vibin in a gc and someone posts some weird sex shit
HH friend: Finland doesn’t bottom; homeboy is a sadistic top through and through, and that’s the tea.
But when he does power bottom though ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Sweden is in for a treat.
Finland knows how he wants to be pleasured, often pulling at Sweden’s hair and slapping his cheek sometimes (“I still own you, and you’re bound to my word; got it, pet?”) owowowowowowo
“Fuck me like you mean it.” he says while taking in Sweden’s hard cock. Sometimes he’ll have him leashed just so he can pull at it and choke him a little owowowowowowowo
While getting absolutely rawed by Sweden, Finland likes whispering taunts into his ear about how filfthy he is for being this needy for satisfaction, asking him if he liked taking control or if he’d rather have the naughty things done to him… and when Sweden answers, Finland starts biting and sucking on his neck, driving him over the edge owowowowwowowowowo
Finland, holding Kukkamuna in his arms: First of all, her name is Kukkamuna.
Sweden: It’s the same thing but in Finnish, darling.
Finland: Second of all, because it’s cool and I said so!
Sweden: That’s a lie. We found Kukkamuna rolling around in a flower patch curled next to a duck egg, hence the name.
Finland: And it seemed fitting enough! The name made you laugh!
Sweden, sighing while petting Kukkamuna: I wanted to name her Charolette because I don’t want to bother her for being called “flower egg”
Finland, smirking: Well, you’re my pet, darling, and you didn’t seem to mind the names I called you last night.
Sweden, blushing: Finland, no.
Finland, grinning: I love you.
Sweden, burying his face in his hands: Finland, pls.
Denmark: Biting and pursing his lips as he moans and gasps while he cums, tears and sweat pouring down his red face
Finland: does not bottom lol
Norway: Gritted teeth and furrowed brothers, trying not to scream so loudly as he realeases; teary eyed and his lip already bleeding from biting it so hard
Sweden: Drool coming out of the side of his lips, panting with his tounge out; whining all throughout the orgasm; tears streaming down his blushy cheeks
The Unexpected Roommate
What happens when your roommate of many years falls in love and moves out unexpectedly? Drake Walker was in this situation, until his friends fiancée suggested that her friend moved in to replace her fiancé. The new roommate is causing tension already. Will they be able to survive living together? What’s the worse that could happen?
Book: The Royal Romance
Pairings: Drake x Riley, Leo x Olivia.
*Characters belong to Pixelberry*
Warnings: swearing, sex/foreplay mention, jealousy, mention of death.
Tags: @pedudley @kacie-0156 @loveellamae @annekebbphotography @burnsoslow @ladyangel70 @kingliam2019 @bascmve01 @drakewalker04 @texaskitten30 @i-bloody-love-drake-walker @kimmiedoo5 @nikkis1983 @walker7519 @lodberg @cmestrella @hopefulmoonobject @axwalker @rafasgirl23415 @yukinagato2012 @cordonianroyalty @custaroonie @rainbowsinthestorm @desireepow-1986 @queenjilian @bebepac @drakewalkerisreal @princessleac1
“Why do you want to know?” Olivia asked, prior to his unexpected arrival- she had been teasing Riley about seeing Liam. Now she was debating about what to do. Allow him to go to the apartment and most likely see her best friend fucking her arch-enemy? Or to just continue to lie.
“Well I’m in the ‘neighbourhood’, I thought I could catch up with her.”
“Why the flowers? Are you coming back to woo her?”
“No. She never seemed to be interested, but I believe that we are friends. My office has given me the opportunity to move back here.”
“I’ll call her. See what she is doing.” Leo nudged his fiancée, shaking his head. He didn’t want to be in the middle of his best friend and brother fighting over the same girl.
“I thought she didn’t live here anymore?” Pausing, he knew that she was lying in the first place. “It’s fine Liv, I’ll probably see her at the joint bachelor and bachelorette party tomorrow?”
“I hope so! She’s my maid of honour!” Liam arrived back to his home town, returning with a few hidden secrets. Secrets that he felt he could only tell the one woman that talked to him for hours up on end. Riley. The main secret that involved her.
The morning after, Riley woke up entangled in Drake’s limbs. They had slept together again, twice in one night to be precise. Even though they had agreed for it to just be casual sex, both of them had grown feelings that neither of them would expose to the other. Sitting up, she decided to sneak away to take a shower.
“Where do you think you’re going?”
“I’m taking a shower. Am I allowed to do that?”
“Of course you are. I just thought that we could have a lazy morning before the madness of tonight.”
“Are you usually this clingy with your ‘fuck buddies’?” Her eyebrows rose up, waiting for him to elaborate. He felt as if his heart was about to jump straight out of his chest.
“No…. erm… just with my roomies…”
“Oh so you did this with, Leo?”
“I’m winding you up, Drake. It was just sex remember.”
That smirk, she’s being sarcastic. I can’t let her think that I want more when she clearly doesn’t want the same. It’s just casual sex, I suggested that after all.
Drake really couldn’t be bothered with Leo’s bachelor party. Leo and Olivia had asked guests to meet them at the bar near to their house- then they would go their separate ways. Instead Drake decided to delay to two of them- the less time they spent at the bachelor and bachelorette party, the more time they could spend together.
“What the fuck? Drake!” Hearing Riley scream, he smirked. You’re not the only one who can pull pranks, darling.
“What’s up?” Walking into her room, he witnessed her covered in flour- the flour that he had placed above her wardrobe. He knew the minute she opened it, she would be a mess.
“You’re a fucking jerk! Why would you do this to me?”
“Why would you do all the pranks that you do? Chill out, Riley.” Pushing her way past him, she was beyond furious. Needing to shower again, they were cutting it fine time wise.
An hour later, Riley appeared in the lounge- scowling at him. I look like shit, whispering to herself. On a night out, she would spend two hours doing her hair, and at least an hour doing her make up.
“Liv is going to kill me! I’m late.”
“It’s not funny Drake! I’m the maid of honour and I can’t even show up on time.” Struggling to clasp the necklace, Drake walked behind her. Offering his assistance.
“You scrub up well.”
“No need to be nasty. I’ll help you.” Kissing her neck, he couldn’t resist in delaying them even longer.
“Drake! Stop fucking about! You know what, forget the necklace. Let’s go!”
“Or we could forget tonight in general?”
“You’ll want to go, there’s a stripper. Come on I’m going to get a slit throat.”
Riley kept looking at her watch, panic began to run through her veins. No cabs had stopped for them, as of yet.
“I may as well order my coffin…”
“Stop being so dramatic. You’re drinking in a bar. Not as if you have an appointment.”
“You don’t get it do you? I’m the second most important person of the bridal party and I can’t even show up on time.” Yeah, and? She’s a bridezilla anyway- Drake thought to himself. Finally a cab stopped for them, and they jumped in.
Drake noticed that Olivia was constantly ringing, making things worse they were now in a traffic jam. Placing his hand on to her thigh, he hoped that she would relax a bit. Or maybe it would raise her blood pressure a bit more? He didn’t care, any excuse to be close to her.
“What the fuck are you doing?”
“Shhh, just relax…” Turning on to his side, he roamed his hand along her thigh- in a slow motion whilst providing a seductive grin.
“Don’t you dare!”
“Don’t I dare do what? This?” Forcing her pants to the side, he inserted his fingers- immediately feeling how she felt about this unexpected gesture. She could deny it all she wanted, but her body’s reaction told the truth. “So wet for me, again…”
“Drake… please…. stop…”
“Why? Aren’t you enjoying it?”
“You’re a fucking jerk, you know I am! Fuck…” Gripping on to his arm, she wasn’t sure if she could hold it in anymore. Biting her lip, his increased movements made it hard to remain quiet.
“I’m going to cum… FUCKKK!”
“Hey! What’s going off back there.” Drake burst out laughing knowing that they’d been caught with Riley’s facial expression as she came down from her high. “GET OUT NOW! IF I SEE YOU TWO AGAIN, ILL NOT BE SO NICE!” Following the cab drivers commands, Riley wished that she could just rewind to this morning and start the day off again.
“We could just go home?”
“Why the fuck would you do that? We’re going to have to walk and it’s miles away!”
“Worth it though… right? Fuck buddy.” Riley decided to ignore him, setting the sat nav up on her phone it was a twenty minute walk. Whilst trying to figure to out which direction to head towards, a cab sped past them- hitting the puddle that was caused by a burst pipe.
“You have to be fucking kidding me? I hate you right now, Drake!”
“No you don’t.” Kissing her passionately, he believed that there was no need to rush- they was already late.
“I think it’s that way, are you coming or what?”
“I thought it was you was ‘cumming’?” Winking at her, she stormed off refusing to acknowledge his previous comment.
Arriving fashionably late, Riley headed straight towards Olivia - feeling guilty that she was late.
“Where the fuck have you been?”
“We couldn’t get a cab. Then there was traffic. Then a massive burst pipe.”
“What down your legs?” Riley looked down onto her skirt, fuck. “He fingered you didn’t he? That’s why you was late!”
“Don’t be fucking stupid! What do you take me for? We had to walk and a cab splashed me.” Not a lie. But fuck. I’ve got a stain.
Leo overheard the raised voices, as did the other men.
“Stop fucking lying Riley! I know exactly why you was late.”
“I’ve told you fucking why! Do you need me to reiterate it?”
“No because it’s a lie. I know the truth and I’m going to vomit!”
“Fuck I’ve never heard them argue like that. Maybe we should get some popcorn?” Leo suggested, whilst laughing.
“I’m sure they can both handle themselves.” Liam knew for a fact that they had these type of arguments in the past. It would be a short time of raised voices, then they would drink and make up.
“Yeah, come on. Let’s sneak out. We have a stripper waiting!” Drake decided to intervene, Leo pulled him back towards them attempting to drag him away.
“What are you doing? Do you really want to enter the battlefield?”
“Yeah just to root for, Riley.” Just to make sure that she is okay.
“I’m sure, Mr Boomtastic. Come on. Stripper time!”
“I’ll be one minute.”
The situation had calmed down slightly, there was now a silent argument with Olivia and Riley providing each other with death stares.
“Fuck off Walker, women only.”
“Are you okay, Riley?” Ignoring Olivia, he placed his arm around her waist- looking at her concerned. Deep down, he knew that he was the reason for the two of them having this argument- but also believed that Olivia was acting over dramatically.
“Of course she is. Now do one.”
“I’m fine, Drake. See you later.”
“For round two? Or maybe you could both sneak off to the toilets for quickly?”
“We hate each other Olivia!” Regretting what she said, she felt Drake leave a distance between the two of them. The feelings towards him was quite the opposite, of what she had just expressed.
“What she said….” Lying, he couldn’t inform the women about his true feelings-instead deciding to change the subject. “Why are you always such a bitch, Olivia?”
The complexion from his face drained as he heard that distinctive voice.
“Bonjour handsome. Fancy seeing you here.”
“Kiara.” Gritting his teeth, he saw Riley’s face grimace. Of course Kiara would have been there, it had slipped his mind.
“And you are?”
“Um… I’m Riley, Olivia’s maid of honour.”
“You won’t be if you continue letting me down!”
“Oh you’re the infamous, Riley. The roommate from hell. You look so innocent.” Roommate from hell. The fucking mug more like.
“Yeah, that’s me. Excuse me.” Oh great, she turns up late then runs off, tonight is going to be a disaster- Olivia believed, she knew there were many reasons as to why she hated Drake Walker. This was now an added reason- changing her friends attitude.
Drake warned Kiara to be nice to people in future, running after Riley- he hoped that she was alright. Risking walking into the women’s restroom he didn’t care.
“What Kiara said….”
“Was the truth? But what I don’t understand is why you would discuss about my life with someone who is a stranger to me. What I do is nobody’s business.”
“You pissed me off when you first arrived, okay. You are a living hell, but you’re…” my living hell. “Nevermind. She asked if I needed another roommate after Leo left.”
“All you had to say was yes, remember I’m not there long term! My business is nothing to do with her- or anyone for that matter.”
Topping her lipstick and mascara up, Drake snuggled into her, knowing that he was slightly in the wrong. “Get your hands off of me. I just need time to think.”
“No, Drake! I would never talk about you to someone who you never knew. Especially not to an ex or a fuck buddy.”
“So that’s what’s pissing you off. Because you’ve met a sort of ex. Are you jealous?”
“Don’t patronise me! You demanded just casual sex, I gave you that. Have you told her about that too? Told her what position I like? Told her what turns me on the most? Told her how many times I cum?”
“What if I have?” Narrowing her eyes towards him, she didn’t want an elaboration on that. The sooner tonight was over, the better. “Goodbye, Drake.”
Drake eventually made his way to join the men, feeling guilty for upsetting Riley. At the time he didn’t see the issue, with him explaining to his colleague/his ex/his fuck buddy about his new roommate. In a gaze, he wasn’t aware of the stripper stood right in front of them butt naked grinding on Leo. Standing in the back of the room, he sipped a whiskey- and another. Liam was close by doing the same actions.
“Have you seen the jugs on her?” Leo licked his lips as his said this, hoping to turn Drakes frown upset down.
“No. I’m not bothered. Liam doesn’t seem that bothered either.”
“What is up with you two? It’s like being in a morgue! Come on! It’s my bachelor party!”
“Ya know what Leo, I’m going to head home.”
“Walker! You have to be kidding me? Is this some kind of joke?”
“No.. I’m not feeling too good. Besides I think you can survive without me being here.” Referring to the stripper, Leo rolled his eyes back now knowing that Drake was actually ditching him.
“Your loss, Walker!” Drake shrugged his shoulders as he left, feeling slightly guilty about leaving Liam playing gooseberry. They are Rys’s they’ll work their charm all night, he thought in the back of his mind. Whenever he went out with Leo in the past, he was always left alone and he could predict the same would happen tonight if he had stayed.
Sneaking back into the apartment, the light was on- so he knew that Riley was back. Prematurely, he believed. Olivia was a night owl and he assumed Riley would be the same as she worked in a bar. Clearly not tonight. Gulping, he was unsure as to what to do. Check in on her or go to sleep? Helping himself to a whiskey, he had the Dutch courage to speak to her- if she would allow him to.
“Can I come in?”
“No. I’m trying to get to sleep. Goodnight.” Ignoring what she had said, he decided to interrupt her privacy and walk straight into her room.
“I believe that your room is next door.”
“I’m just making sure that you’re okay. Stop being so fucking stubborn.” Thinking back to her experience of the night, maybe she was being stubborn. Maybe not.
“I’m fine, Drake. You can go to bed.”
“You don’t seem it.” Sneaking under the duvet, he laid next to her. “Tell me what’s on your mind. Did you have a good night?”
“Drake’s good in bed isn’t he, Riley?” Riley nearly chocked on the champagne, due to Kiara’s random comment.
“I’ve had better.” Snapping back, if truth be told she knew that she was lying to herself.
“How many times have you slept with him?” Why does she care? This is a bachelorette party. Not the Kiara show. Or discussing Drake Walker’s cock as if we are on Loose Women.
“One.” Lying she couldn’t be bothered disclosing information about her sex life. Tonight was about Olivia.
“Yeah and we heard you!” No you didn’t, you heard the fake sex! I just wish that everyone would just shut up.
“Can we just change the subject? Tonight is your night, Liv.” Raising the champagne flute into the air, Riley hoped that this would be the end of it after her brief speech. Or so she believed. Whilst everybody else was engaged in conversation, Kiara sat next to her. Feeling suffocated with her presence, Riley had wished that she had gatecrashed the bachelor party instead.
“Looks like I’ve got competition, we will have to have Drake on a rota.” Winking towards Riley, she wasn’t sure if the woman was joking or not.
“I’m nobody’s second best, Kiara. It was a one time thing.” Attempting to convince herself that she didn’t care, deep down she was hurt. It was as if Kiara was stabbing a knife right into her heart. Herself and Drake wasn’t a couple, at times they weren’t even friends. But now the more time they spent together, there was growing feelings.
“So if I came to yours and fucked him senseless, you wouldn’t mind?”
“No, why would I? We are just roommates. He’s already brought a stranger back with him.”
“Maybe we should get to know each other better, Riley. I’ll be seeing you more often most likely.” Kiara stood up, and kissed her on the cheek before making her way over towards the bar. Riley sipped the champagne slowly, retrieving her phone out of her clutch bag- she sent an urgent text.
SOS!!! Please give me a good excuse to get out of this bachelorette party xo
Thinking of ways to get out of it, without Olivia potentially murdering her- she was relieved when her phone lit up.
Ri, you and I both know that’s not possible- she will kill you. It can’t be that bad? Xx
It is, I’ll explain at work tomorrow. I might suddenly have a sickness bug brewing! 🤢 xo
You’ll survive! Just tell them to fuck off! Looking forward to hearing about it tomorrow😂… see you at half five. Love ya loads xx
“Besides the awkwardness, yes. You know Olivia, everything has to be perfect- The champagne was flowing. What about you?”
“Awkwardness? You mean, Kiara. It was pretty boring, Leo took full advantage of the stripper.”
“Yes, Kiara. I’m actually surprised that Olivia allowed him to have a stripper. He will be playing it down.” Drake silently agreed, having a little laugh to himself- grateful that he wasn’t in Leo’s shoes.
“What is your relationship with Kiara? Is it just casual sex like us? She suggested that we have you on a rota. Share you. I don’t think I can do this anymore.”
“Look at me. Please.” Turning around, she couldn’t look him in the eyes- she didn’t want to mimic a waterfall. “I might sound like a jerk, like I use women for sex then dump them until I need to release again. But I’m single. I didn’t see the issue of doing that until now. Kiara works with me. We know each other, she’s always liked me more than a colleague. More than a friend. The feelings aren’t mutual. She was happy just having sex every so often.” Taking a deep breath, he knew that this was the perfect opportunity to tell her the truth about how he felt about her. But he couldn’t. He already felt as if he had blown any chance of being with her with how upset she was. “ I meant what I said, the first time we slept together was amazing. You’re amazing when you aren’t playing practical jokes. At this moment in time, you’re my best friend as well as my roommate. Ignore Kiara, she’s winding you up- to get to you, but she’s a really nice girl once you get to know her. For me she’s just not girlfriend material.”
“Okay.” With Riley’s one worded response after he word vomited, he decided it was best to leave. He could already tell that she was deep in concentration as her eyebrows furrowed.
“Goodnight, Riley. I hope that we are okay?”
“Sure we are, we’re just roommates.”
The morning after Drake knew that Riley was upset, he knew that he didn’t want to see her like that. He had grown fond of her, even began to start loving her after their time together. Thinking about everything regarding their talk, he tried to put himself in her situation. Believing that he would also have doubts, possibly feel jealous- it was time to make amends. Again. Leaving the apartment at noon, he decided to go for a bit of retail therapy- feeling the need to treat Riley, to make her not feel like second best.
Eventually waking up late in the day, it wasn’t because she was hungover or tired. Riley had spent hours, just thinking about her life. Wondering where it was leading to. During this time, she had heard Drake leave the apartment twice. Knowing that she hadn’t heard him return, she took the opportunity to get up and make something to eat.
As she walked into the lounge, her eyes widened.
Hey, sleepyhead. I really don’t want things to be awkward between us. I’m sorry. I’ve gone to the gym, when I get back I was hoping that you’d be awake and that you’ll join me for dinner later on. Not as a date, just as two friends- two roommates, having some food together.
Peering into the bags, her jaw went wide. Seeing a Chanel dress and bracelet along with the flowers and chocolate on the table- she felt the need to throttle him. Not because she was ungrateful, but just for the simple fact that he didn’t need to do this. He didn’t need to spend a fortune on her every time she became upset. Wondering if he treat any other woman this way, she wasn’t sure what to think. Hearing the door opening, she regretted looking like shit. The need to jump into his arms and thank him was there lingering in her mind. Drake nervously opened the door, not knowing if she had de-fused herself from her bed- not knowing how she would react.
“Hi.” She whispered, acknowledging his presence. Oh fuck why is she crying?
“Hey, are you okay?” Running the short distance towards him, she leapt into his arms forcing his duffel bag to fall off his shoulders and on to the floor. Inhaling the sweat surrounding him she didn’t care.
“You don’t need to thank me. You deserve it.” Holding on to her tight, he didn’t want to let her go.
“You could have just bought me some wine, or a big fat greasy takeaway. I’m easily pleased. So, thank you.”
“Now you tell me.” They both laughed whilst still holding on to each other. “I need to shower, I stink. Get ready and we’ll go out.” Removing herself from his embrace, he picked up his bag and placed his clothes into the washing machine.
“Drake… I’m actually due at work soon. I changed my shift last week, I’m sorry.”
“Oh, I didn’t know. Maybe another time then?”
“Yeah, sure.” Turning around, secretly she did a celebratory jig- hoping that he wasn’t aware of this.
“Or I could come with you? Then we could go out afterwards?”
“Works really boring… I’m not sure you’d wanna hang out there for hours. I could meet you when I’ve finished instead?”
“You work in a bar. As long as there’s whiskey, I’ll be fine.” As long as I’m with you, it’ll be worth it.
Does having sex mean you’re not asexual? Nope. Some aces have sex, and some aces don’t.
Does imagining a sexual fantasy mean you’re not asexual? Nope. Some aces have sexual fantasies, and some aces don’t. Generally speaking, fantasy and imagination can be a comfortable environment to experiment with different ideas. Sometimes it can be a way of considering or approaching a certain idea with the intent of realizing it in the real world, but other times it’s something we’re only comfortable with in our head and wouldn’t actually want it to become a reality.
Ultimately, the only person who can decide if you’re ace or not is you. If you used to think you were ace, but now you’re concerned that these might “disqualify” you from being ace, I don’t think you have anything to worry about. If you feel connected to asexuality, if calling yourself asexual is helpful, you can still call yourself asexual.
Hope that helps, as always feel free to ask for clarification/any follow up questions.