#tw stillborn

[amayahxfontenelle]

starter for: @alecxkincade

Amayah walked through the hospital walls, making her way towards the exit after an appointment when her physician had deemed her blood pressure to be too low. All was well in the end, something she had gotten used to in the last several years. Nothing was out of the ordinary until Amayah noticed a doctor walking her way. She hadn't realised that she had been staring at the man until her eyes started to hurt. "I'm sorry, excuse me." She caught his attention, if her staring hadn't already. "You seem familiar, have we met before? I swear this isn't a pick up line, I just..." Little did she know he was the doctor that pronounced her daughter's death ten years ago. She hadn't been awake, her memory had failed her in the days after.

#( convo. ) #( convo. alec kincade ) #tw death #tw stillborn

[bejeweled-wahlberg]

Hey Blockers/Rushers

There’s bad news

Carlos and Alexa lost their 4th born child Indy and she was a Stilborn

Please send prayers for Carlos and Alexa

Via @Vegaalexa and @therealcarlospenavega on Instagram

#trins shitposts #tw stillbirth #tw stillborn #carlos penavega #alexa penavega

[idiotwhotalkstoomuch]

Ash Amalgamation au

So I wanna do a pokemon au and its an of au of an au lmao cause it’s based off of @anxiousworm ‘s hybrid ash au (Which has been rewritten into the Pokemon: Genesis au which I am very excited to see more of) except I never watched the movies lol and I’ve only actually really seen the Sinnoh, Unova and Kalos anime with the rest of my knowledge on the anime being occasional clips, like the start of the Alola one, that creepy Sabrina episode, etc so I apologize if my info is inaccurate or if I write a character wrong, there are too many episodes of the anime to watch.

This au is called the Ash Amalgamation au to differentiate from the names anxiousworm made for their au. This post covers the backstory I have in mind, how this au affects the story is in a future post

Backstory (TW as I do mention a stillborn child, human experimentation and slight body horror???):

- So Ash was created by Dr Fuji with extra mew DNA and the DNA of a stillborn child that Giovanni provided to Dr Fuji because he was curious of the results on what would happen if a pokemon and a human were to be fused since Dr Fuji proved capable of making a human clone and a pokemon clone

- Ash was called “Test Subject″ because Giovanni never informed them what the baby’s name was so he was simply called Test Subject for convenience. 

- When he was created he was an actual baby and his body didn’t look too dissimilar to Mew except his tail was shorter and his body wasn’t pink like Mew’s but the skintone of the actual Ash. (with the exception of his tail, legs and right arm which are like Mewtwo’s color wise)

- Ambertwo would hold him in the dream world she was in with Mewtwo and the Kanto starters since naturally he couldn’t move around on his own and she handed Ash to Mewtwo as she disappeared and asked it to take care of Ash.

- As Ash grew, he began to develop more human features except it was clear he wasn’t normal cause of the fact he developed horns (I was thinking of keeping them as his ears but its too complex so its horns. His horns are colored like Mewtwo’s), his tail grew larger like Mewtwo’s, his right arm and his legs were also like Metwtwo’s body though his legs were moreso a fusion of a human and a Mewtwo’s legs as regular Mewtwo legs wouldn’t work on his body. Due to how human he began looking, one of the scientists, Albert Ketchum, started to feel horrifically guilty and decided when Ash was 5, to smuggle him out of his tube and run away with him. He got away with it by keeping Ash in a pokeball that Ash didn’t struggle against because he didn’t understand what was even going on.

- Mewtwo was very distressed when Ash went missing and its memories of the first clones resurfaced though his feelings and memories were suppressed by the scientists in time before he destroyed something. They did not wipe its memories of Ash because they believed finding the test subject would be easy

- Albert took the child to his cousin, Delia, and revealed just what he was and begged her to take care of him as he had to go on the run since he knew Team Rocket would come after him and he couldn’t give him over to his romantic partner or siblings since he knew that’s where Team Rocket would first look. Delia agreed and Albert disappeared a week after this.

- Delia gave Test Subject the name “Ash” and moved to Pallet town after she entrusted the help of Professor Oak, an old family friend, to get to the bottom of just Ash was and for the sake of her own protection in case Team Rocket came after her.

- Professor Oak was rather horrified when he met Ash since not only was he some horrific fusion of a mythical pokemon and a person but he hadn’t spoken with his mouth but with telepathy. 

- Ash isn’t anywhere near as proficient as Mewtwo is with his powers and is only actually capable of telepathy, flight and the move confusion but despite his lacking abilities in comparison to his fellow clone, he still caused a fair bit of destruction for Professor Oak and Delia with his powers, primarily when he was distressed from certain tests, situations he was unfamiliar with and with his pokeball that only Delia could coax him into returning to.

- Oak actually pulled some strings to get Delia to legally have Ash as her son because they couldn’t do it normally under the risk of Ash’s true form being exposed to them and to begin with Ash didn’t have any sort of birth records (unless you count the records of his creation in New Island) so he had to use some old connections to get the legal adoption in

- When he was 7 and in much better control, he learned the move transform after watching Ditto from Oak’s lab for an extended period of time and managed to transform to look like a human boy, shocking Delia and Oak when  he achieved this though this was a pleasant surprise to Delia because when it was clear his use of transform was sustainable and he dropped it when he willed it to, Delia could actually let him go outside, something he’d longed to do for so long. Thanks to him looking fully human and being able to speak with his mouth by the time he was 8, he got to fully see the world itself without needing to hide or be sneaky about his existence. 

Notes:

- Tbh I have no clue on what I should do with the stillborn child that Ash’s human part was born from. Right now I’m thinking of Giovanni being the dead child’s father but I’m not sure if that’s just gonna add too many elements to this already insane au especially since if I did that, that means I’d have to decide if Giovanni cares about Ash and had the same goal as Dr Fuji in the experiment or if he’s a terrible father

#pokemon #pokemon ash #pokemon au #idk what else to tag help #ash ketchum #delia ketchum #ash amalgamation au #mewtwo #pokemon mewtwo #pokemon mew #mew #body horror tw #tw body horror #human experimentation tw #tw human experimentation #tw stillborn #stillborn tw #professor oak #pokemon professor oak #pokemon giovanni #giovanni

[firelordgrantham]

why do they have to get so many stillborn kits in Warriors?

I get the appeal of having a character be the only surviving kit of their litter by the time they're apprentice: less characters to develop, more trauma and angst.

But like... why not have them die of greencough or starve during a bad season? why not have one of them get out of the camp and be taken by a fox?

much, much more trauma and angst for the surviving one, and much, much less stillborns for no reasons.

#tw stillborn #tw miscarriage #warriors #warrior cats #writing #tw child death

[ofxbrokenxkenners]

[ dylan obrien | he/him | 22 ]  rumor has it that Levi kenner has been seen wandering around town. they are a witch/wolf who is one of the survivors.  they are known to be stubborn but deep down they are wholesome. when it comes to the brewing conflict in new orleans they’re on the side of the resistance.

【 ɢᴇɴᴇʀᴀʟ 】

Name ; Levi Bradley CordeauxKenner

Sobriquet ; Lee, Lev,

Age ; 22

Species ; werewolf/witch

Currently living ; New Orleans

Hometown ; New Orleans

【 ᴘᴇʀsᴏɴᴀʟɪᴛʏ 】

Traits ; reckless, sweet, stubborn, wholesome

Alignment ; resistance (crescent wolves)

Hobbies ; music, drawing

Habits ; drinking

Fears ; losing people he cares about.

【 sᴇxᴜᴀʟ 】

Orientation ; pansexual

Kinks ; pain, biting, passionate, female worship

Hookups or Relationships ; realtionships or hookups.

Relationship status ; single

Shipping status ; open to ships

【 ᴘʜʏsɪǫᴜᴇ 】

Faceclaim ; Dylan O'Brien

Height ; 5ft 10 in

Hair ; dark brown

Eyes ; lightbrown

Piercings ; none

Scars ; small scar on cheek from falling off his bike as a child (barely noticeable)

【 ᴇᴅᴜᴄᴀᴛɪᴏɴ / ᴄᴀʀᴇᴇʀ 】

Level of education ; college

Qualifications ; BA Law

Occupation ; legal assistant

Name of employer ;william, Cline and associates legal firm

【 ʜᴇᴀʟᴛʜ 】

Drinker? ; yes

Smoker? ; occasional

Recreational drug user? ; Occasionally

Which? ; Weed

Disabilities ; none

Mental illnesses ; n/a

【 ᴏᴠᴇʀᴠɪᴇᴡ 】

➥ Levi was the first born to Tara kenner and -- cordeaux. As a baby he was doted on by his parents and after just a year was made a big brother to a set of twin girls. However one night he went to bed with a story from his father and the neclxt morning his father was gone. Then in a cruel twist of fate he was left without his mother for 3 years during the crescent curve when Tara triggered her wolf gene only able to have stolen cuddles and moments with his mother on a full moon.

Once the curse was lifted, Levi and his sisters were once again a happy family with their mother and as he grew up Levi attempted to take on the role of family protector. Questioning his mother's boyfriends of their intentions and wanting to keep his mother and sisters safe.

During high school, Levi was a pretty popular kid and was able to communicate with most people which gave him an extremely social life. Despite sometimes puttong partying and socialising about his studies, he remain top of the class and at graduation was elected valedictorian as the student with th top grades.

When he started college, Levi was unsure which course he wanted to take his life, to follow in his mother's medical footsteps, finish college and enter the police department or even becoming a teacher. It was only during a legal campaign to save a wrongly convicted felon that he got reading about legislation and within a few weeks his mind was made up. The following year he swapped out his classes for law and became involved with a group of students who were taken on by their law teacher to gain a better understanding of legal proceeding.

When Levi was 20, Levi and his girlfriend of 15 months found out then were expecting. After a initial worry about becoming a young parent, they became excited to add a new addition to the family. Everything was find until his girlfriend went into labor. All excited and ready to add a little boy to the family - a nursey all ready, the labor took a turn. After 18 hours in labor, the nurses and midwife lost the babies heart beat and an hour later, their son was delivered still born

【 ʜᴇᴀᴅᴄᴀɴᴏɴs 】

➥ at the age of 8 he came off his bike and had 4 stitches in his face and his leg in cast for 4 weeks.

➥he struggled with deciding on a career until his second year of college where he became fascinated with law and legal matters.

➥he has yet to trigger his wolf gene but has never worried about it or thought twice about triggering if it was to protect his family.

【 ᴄᴏɴɴᴇᴄᴛɪᴏɴs 】

➥tara kenner - mother

➥younger sister

➥ raven kenner-younger sister

➥ best friend from college - wanted connection.

ex girlfriend/baby mama - wanted connection.

#FFfh.intro #tw still born #tw death #tw stillborn #tw stillbirth

[minty364]

DPXDC Prompt #123

Danny found himself at Clockworks bothering the old ancient again. Ever since the nasty burger incident Danny didn’t have anyone else to really talk to. Vlad wasn’t an option the old guy was a creep and Danny wanted nothing to do with him. The other ghosts left him alone in his mourning as well, the attacks stopped after Danny defeated Pariah Dark something Danny didn’t quite understand why but he was thankful for it.

Clockwork looked over at the young halfa and then tells him something he wasn’t ever planning to. Danny didn’t belong to this dimension and had actually been taken from his home (He was stillborn and was thrown in the lazurus pits but never emerged) as a child and Clockwork decided it was time for him to be sent back. He opens a portal for the unknowing prince and closes it behind him before Danny can ask anything.

Danny didn’t know where he’d ended up but he did know that he hated clowns, including the guy in front of him. The guy introduced himself as the Joker and Danny lost all interest in what he had to say except that he looked like this Damian Wayne kid except his eyes were green instead of the icy blue that Danny had. Oh and the guy was threatening to fill the tube Danny was trapped in with acid. Danny had half a mind to see if he’d actually do it.

Damian knew he had a twin that was stillborn, his mother liked to remind him that his brother was weak and a failure while he was strong. He held his head high at the praise at the time but now after living with Father for 5 years he began to wonder what it would have been like if his twin survived. That all changes when they find an apparent clone being held by the Joker.

#dp x dc prompt #dp x dc #dc x dp #danny fenton #danny phantom #writing prompt #poor danny #damian wayne #danny and damian are twins #ghost prince danny #but he doesn’t know #Danny was stillborn but revived by the pits #tw stillbirth #Clockwork being cryptic because clockwork #Danny gets kidnapped by the Joker #my asks are open #all my prompts are free to use

[birbbones]

Stillborn Boston Terrier skeleton.

Cleaned from raw via Oxidation

#vulture culture #skulls #my collection #bones #vulture culture uk #taxidermy #animal skull #oddities #animal skulls #dead things #dead stuff #tw domestic #domestic dog #stillborn #skeletal articulation

[mrsmarinara]

Take My Hand and I Promise To Never Drop It || John Marino

Requested; no

Warnings; stillborn;

Summary: when things are bad, you can only think of one person to reach for. When you’re happy, there’s only one person you want to share that news with. Like Emily Brontë said, “he’s more myself than I am.”

a/n: It’s written in a different format from my other writing because I intend for this to be the beginning of an au. So send in asks and ideas for this. Also, it’s sad. It’s very sad.

But John Marino gives off such college sweetheart vibes. Even after he’s drafted by the Oilers he says he wants to play with Harvard but another reason, that he won’t tell anyone but you, is that a part of him wanted to stay with you.

By your sophomore year, the two of you are inseparable and everyone, even the two of you know that you two would get married one day. By the time he’s traded and moving to Pittsburgh you’re graduating and despite your families arguments, you go with him. No one thinks you should follow him because that never works. Everyone thinks you’re a trailing girlfriend and you don’t even have a ring but it doesn’t matter because you believe in John and you find a good job in the field you studied and decide that you’ll also go to get your graduates degree while your boyfriend is playing hockey at a professional level.

This is when the fights begin. No time together, rumors online about cheating, but all of it boils down to the fact that for the first time; you two are alone. No family or friends to fall back on but soon you two are doing better when you integrate with the Wags from the Penguins and he starts making a name for himself.

It’s going well and you graduate and the whole stadium is chanting his name. You finally have friends outside of each other and reporters ask about you and John can’t help but smile because he’s loved you since he was 18 and that love has only grown. If he could talk about you forever, he would. However, that night he comes home and your waiting for him. Usually you’re out with another Wag or at your new office but he sees you fiddling with your hands and squirming on the bed and it isn’t until he sees the positive pregnancy test that he knowns why your nervous.

He wasn’t expecting it but he wastes no time in pulling you into his chest (smelly and sweaty because he hasn’t shower but still he smells so much like him and right now it’s the most comforting thing in the world) and you can help but cling onto him. “I know it’s a surprise, baby, but damn it, it’s a hell of a good one.”

So you two do what you guys are best at, you figure it out. You both call your families and friends. John tells his teammates and you tells the other players wives and girlfriends and suddenly things for the baby (that isn’t more than a clump of cells at the moment) have started piling up for when they come.

It’s scary and exiciting and you and John talk and agree that it’s best if you stay home with the baby until they start school with his traveling schedule and when you go to the doctor and get the scan there’s a faint heartbeat and neither of you can wait and you find out that the tiny human that’s forming in you is a girl and John doesn’t even try to hold back his tears before you can process it and he says before you can ask, “we’re gonna have a mini you. A pocket sized version of my favorite person.”

Two weeks later, after it’s announced that the Penguins are going to the playoffs, John proposes. You recognize the ring as his grandmother’s the one you always admire and compliment when you see her. You try to say yes with tears streaming down your face and John understands you, he always does so when he pulls you into a hug and the baby kicks he chuckles and slips the ring on.

When the Penguins are eliminated it’s hard on him but he’s resilient. John tells you there are more things to focus on and to be happy about and so you continue working on the nursery until one night, you wake up are drenched in sweat because of the July heat but when you get up you have the worst cramps and that’s when you see the blood. You try not to panic but it seems like you couldn’t hide it to well because John is out of bed immediately and bringing you to the car.

You can’t tell if your crying because of the cramps in your abdomen or because you know what this means. It’s the 28th week of your pregnancy and heavy bleeding and cramps aren’t a good sign. It’s only confirmed when the doctors examine you and with what they must think is a sympathetic look you are told that they will induce you into labor. That you will have to give birth to your baby.

It’s a blur after that. You remember begging John not to leave you and crying how it wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair that you would have to go through the motions of giving birth, only to have a small lifeless baby placed in your arms.

John holds your hand the whole time and when the still baby is in your arms, his voice is thick and sad when he says “oh, she’s so beautiful.”

The tear on your cheek, this time, isn’t yours. You can feel the pain in your chest and the tears in your eyes and throat but when you look up at a John, the man who you followed, who you saw grow from a boy into a man, who has always been by your side you see that that same pain that fills you also resides in him. So you do the only thing you can think of is to reach up and grab his hand and squeeze.

“We’ll make it through this.” Your voice is stronger than you feel and your grateful for that. “Together we can make it through anything.”

Within the next week you found and bought a plot of land in Massachusetts to put a small gravestone that read ‘Odette Faith Marino’. Every other day you visit the gravestone and talk to the baby who isn’t in it ground. When John isn’t practicing for the upcoming season, he accompanies you. Sometimes it’s silent, sometimes the two of you imagine the life she may have lived and eventually the tears slow and it doesn’t hurt as much to come and see where she should have been laid.

When you go back to Pittsburgh, everyone knows not to bring anything up and slowly you get back into into the routine of work and spending time at work. John is doing better than ever on the ice and when you can, you go to all the games you can.

One night, though, when everything feels normal, John says something that raises the hair on the back of your neck. They’re talking about trading him. You had built a life here. You have a job and friends. What’s even in New a jersey? You knew this was always a possibility and that it happens all of the time but you had built such a strong community in Pittsburgh.

What would John and yours life look like in a different state and with a different team?

#maraschino au #john marino au #john marino x reader #my writing #nj devils fics #John Marino fics #tw: stillborn #john marino

[proudtobealuthor]

Do you guys ever think about how if Misty hadn’t destroyed the black box that wilderness baby probably wouldn’t have been stillborn and all the girls wouldn’t be nearly as traumatized or had to resort to cannibalism

#tw: cannibalism #tw: stillborn #the wilderness #wilderness baby #misty quigley #yellowjackets #shauna shipman #shauna sadecki #natalie scatorccio #jackie taylor #lottie matthews #taissa turner #van palmer #vanessa palmer #charlotte matthews

[thatfailedpokemontrainer]

Did you... ever have a sibling that never came to term...?

//Grasping at straws I hope this isn't too dark-

I would've known if this was the case - but 'll ask casey cause 'ts the only plausible theory so far

#//CORRECT DING DING SPRITES OLDER SISTER WAS A STILLBORN #tw death #pkmn irl #pokeblogging #rotumblr #sprite :> #pokemon irl #rotomblr #pokemon #pkmn

[trucbiduleschouettes]

“I saw them in a dream and they've seen me. Your parents sought me specifically.” “Both arms of the river delta too shallow to hold a current, but it might be enough for one.” “Your parents needed an heir.” “I reached in, I clawed, I severed, I dragged, I sutured and made whole again. They gave me you. Not yet born but already a bargaining chip. I had seen one side of you and dreamed of the other.” “What is a snail when you remove its shell? Have I not killed you back then?”

-

Shoutout to @kohlkopfus for yesterday’s session, it’s going to haunt me forever-

I did not expect it at all, and I love Valley’s haggy dad even more now. Shoutout to Alarcus, and fuck her birth family tho- 

[Do not use / repost] 

#DnD #Dungeons and Dragons #hag #OC: Alarcus #kalashtar #paladin #warlock #OC: Valley #My OC #well Valley is more implied as the soon to be brought back to life baby here but #tw: stillborn #tw: dead baby #Truc Draws

[lingeringscars]

okay cj sent me the script for 2x07 which admittedly might have been my least fave s2 ep but now i'm all in my feelings about it so expect more thoughts as i read through

shaunatai. shaunanat. tai telling shauna that she could have gone with her to help bury her baby, and shauna turning away even more, clearly shutting her off. nat feeling alone because seeing travis and lottie sharing a bond that she does not have. and then going over to try to help shauna. but shauna, feeling like the dream she had was real and not being able to accept that it wasn't, remembers that nat ate her baby and threatens her. nat then leaves, feeling completely alone.

#my shauna nat agenda getting stronger #meta: shauna shipman #muse: shauna shipman #child loss tw #child death tw #stillborn tw #nat literally just trying to help and shauna threatening her with a rock and then her feeling completely alone #bc she cannot help shauna #tainat talk about it #meta: nat scatorccio #muse: nat scatorccio

[undertale-writing-times]

Person A and a pregnant person B spend the afternoon curled up together in their warm bed as light rain hits their window.

I would also love this prompt with Lover and his s/o together. You may choose who's the pregnant one in this scenario! ;}

I decided to go with Lover being the one that’s pregnant because that has a bigger shock value to me. 

Word Count: 688

Do you know what Lover never thought that he would be? Yeah, pregnant. Loved is another one, but mostly pregnant.

In the underground, it was really unlikely to get pregnant. Male monsters had a harder time, and it was with his datemate... who was a human. 

Everything pointed in the other way than him ever being able to carry a souling but look! He was pregnant! With TWINS! He was so excited when he found out and summoned his ecto to see if he could see them forming even though he literally JUST found out. 

There was no way for him to see them yet. 

That was a few months ago. Lover was still happy, yes, but dang... babies were more than he was expecting. And, you know, he's been thinking about a lot of things... he was worried. With the underground being as bad as it was, and you know, the pregnancies going bad or not even happening? He thought... what if the babies didn't form? Or they dusted? 

He hated those thoughts, and he's been trying to ignore it. 

Luckily, he had a lot of monster friends that could lend him their magic, which would most likely help a lot and Y/n was there too! They were a human and, shockingly, them being around made the babies not move around as much. He said that it was because he felt calmer but maybe they could feel the human magic? Even if it was just faintly there? Who knows.

An annoying thing was that he needed to keep his ecto summoned. Yes, he normally loved having his ecto out, but only when it was his idea to have it out and he was gaining a lot of weight too.

Y/n told him it was because of the soulings needing magic to form and he got magic from eating but he didn't like the idea of getting a chubby ecto! He was one of the few Sanses that wasn't chubby, dang it! He was curvy!

Today when he woke up, he felt his datemate's arms around him, and he could hear the soft pitter-patter of rain on the window. It felt kind of cold because of the rain but the bed was so warm... he shuts his eyes, leaning back into his datemate, purring loudly. 

This was awesome... Great, honestly. He never thought that he would ever get pregnant and he didn't think it would be with someone that loved him! He turns his head to look at his datemate.

They were still sleeping... he turns to face them, lightly bonking his skull against their head, cooing softly "Hey... wake up," he mumbles. "Y/n, time to wake up. Y/n, I wanna cuddle" he starts to whine their name softly "You put a baby in me so wake up and cuddle me"

Y/n lets out a soft mrr sound, and laughs shaking their head "Oh my god..." They open their eyes, look at him, and move their arms around his waist, pulling him closer gently "Are you really doing this, this early?"

"mhm" he nods, with a little dumb grin on his face. "don't you know? Us Lust Skeletons need a lot of affection while we're pregnant"

"You just want me to cuddle you" They respond, looking amused, turning their head a little to the side. As if they caught him in a big lie or something!

"I do, so hurry up," he said, in a teasing tone. He didn’t care if they caught him, he wanted his cuddles and he wanted them now.

Y/n rolls their eyes, and nuzzles him softly, shutting their eyes. He nuzzles back, purring louder than he had in such a long time. He loved this... he loved the attention, he loved the feeling he got, and they're going to have two little babies.

He would try not to be too worried. If anything goes bad, they would deal with it when the time comes, but as of right now? It felt like everything was going okay. The soulings were healthy feeling, he felt healthy… everything felt good. 

#Lover #Lover X Reader #Reader X Lover #Underlust #Underlust Sans #Pregnant #MPreg #I guess #mpregnancy #souling #Babybones #Undertale Babybones #Undertale #Undertale AU #Undertale Alternate Universe #Undertale Alternate Timeline #TW: Talk about stillborn sorta #Pregnacy #Cuddles #Undertale Ask Blog #Undertale Imagines #Imagines

[residents-of-the-darkforest]

Dark Forest Resident: Cypressbriar

Aliases / Nicknames: To-Be-Mother

Gender: she-cat

Sexuality: grey-bisexual, panromantic

Family: unnamed mother, unnamed father, Shadenose (brother), Brackenkit (son)

Other Relations: unnamed mentor, unnamed apprentice

Clan: Riverclan

Rank: queen

Characteristics: looked forward to being a mother

Murder Motive: vengeance for her kit

Number of Victims: 1

Number of Murders: 1

Murder Method: tearing apart

Known Victims: Hickorypoppy

Victim Profile: medicine cat that caused her son to die

Cause of Death: killed by three unnamed Clanmates

Cautionary Tale: ??

Story: 

"I'm so sorry."

It's funny how those three words, meant to convey solace and relief to someone's pain, can ruin their entire life instead.

It is what the medicine cat, Hickorypoppy, told her when her kit was meant to arrive into the world. Whatever her efforts, they were of no help. Cypressbriar could barely even hear her, or anything her brother, Shadenose, said then or in the days following.

But what did finally break through the fog was what she overheard while pacing in the dark, unable to sleep. Hickorypoppy was speaking in the medicine den with her now-retired mentor.

Hickorypoppy confessed that they must have done something--no, everything wrong, because that kit--the kit Cypressbriar was planning to name Brackenkit--should have lived.

Cypressbriar froze, then leaned closer against the walls. She listened to them talk, listened to Hickorypoppy practically list every single thing that she did wrong, every single thing that had lead to little Brackenkit's death.

Brackenkit's little broken body had snapped just below the head, and his left back leg was twisted oddly--all because Hickorypoppy was in a rush to get him out, all because she didn't want anyone questioning her if she ran to her mentor for help.

Cypressbriar was supposed to hear her son wail for the first time, hear and feel him suckle and knead at her belly, purr when she licked his head. She was supposed to watch eagerly as he opened his eyes for the first time, hear as he called her mama, watch him learn to walk, everything.

But it was only silence. Silence, silence, silence, nothing coming from the broken body that she had to hold only moments after believing that that would all happen.

There was no plan of vengeance, only a blind rage. Cypressbriar burst into the medicine den and leaped onto Hickorypoppy, yowling at her for killing her kit and tearing into her. Her mentor was too frail to do anything.

Warriors heard the commotion and burst into the den. When they saw what Cypressbriar had done--what she was still doing, tearing into the body, they acted.

Additional Information: 

--:( :( :( :(

--Since she died so close after having a kit, she can probably nurse Dark Kits.

--Her brother is a trans male.

--She was training her apprentice when she became expecting, so their training finished by someone else.

#birth tw #childbirth tw #baby death #newborn death #not stillborn but gonna include the tw tag #stillborn tw #birth horror story #I don't know what other tw tags to use? #hopefully that's fine #hospital tw #dark forest oc #dark forest warrior #dark forest queen #cypressbriar #hickorypoppy #brackenkit #place of no stars oc #dark forest profile

[loveletterstothepast]

Grief Recovery For Those With Lifetime Worth of Sorrows.

inspired by a dull book of lost love and unrequited loves.

Love is an endless loop belonging to those who’ve found worth in reaching such goals. Love loses meaning and connection once no longer been given flame. If everything is stripped of imagination then there is nothing left but what is, Who is, and moreover the decisions to fan the flames.

For years worth of written books and life long stories told about love a definite theme has always been “love at first sight.” No one talks about how love actually forms. Where’s it comes from and how it’s learned.

In a childhood home where love is withheld it will cause trauma and an antagonizing amount of struggles into finding what love means to oneself. No one talks about the fear you face of rejection. Denial. Abandonment. It’s all a sheltered idea that affection will fix you. To combat this many people turn to a various multitude of ways to attempt to abandon the engraved fear of loving anything and the exception that it will be taken away. If we gather and array of people and ask what they fear most in loving. It’s that once it’s lost.

Soundly I can say that people will do what they must at the end of the day to protect the little they have and refuse to accept more if the chances of being harmed are greater. One should never fear for what is once lost will always return.

A lifetime of sorrows will change a persons perspective on love and loss. It will damage the mind and soul of someone who lacks motivation to continue forward. With a weak mindset and little to no goals of success.. and and absurd amount of self hatred, people would just rather give up in the face of loss instead of continuing with the glorious life they’ve been left with. This is not to torment those who feel lost in their demise.

A lot of people will grow with the constant thought of “God has failed me” and in truth that is an acceptable approach and I no longer think people should be forced to leave it up to higher spirits. The truth is if you’ve felt denied at every turn then you should construct an idea of how you plan on continuing growth. With some minor suggestions I’ve found that self improvement and talking kindly to yourself is helpful in remedy to the aches of life.

We call out life’s journey a climb of a horrid mountain that throws things at us without ever gracing us with a break and although that may be true in some cases more than other, we must learn to endure the growing pains that have been so violently thrusted our ways. It’s simple to say “let go” but what is letting go to the individual and what is that to the audience. Who to root for if biblically inclined. Who to cheer on. Who to become after trauma. In all honesty the path to healing is difficult and different for every person and sometimes sweeping secrets under the rug is much easier than admitting to the pain. We must submit to that pain and allow ourselves to grieve how we deem fit. But only for a short time. Else it will consume and to continue will be a misfortune unknown to all.

I lost my whole youth into growing up and taking care of others around me. Nurturing has always come easy though I’ll admit my faults in becoming someone’s mother who was not my child. In the dating pool I dated an array of men with mommy issues to attempt to remedy their aches while caring for the parts of me that were lacking in parental guidance. Love was an obstacle course that I was crashing through lover after lover to attempt to find what suited me. None held much worth until I found my opposite in every way. He who was nurtured and loved. He who was showered in the gift of life and because of that I have found myself in a torn spot of the unknown. I didn’t have to fix everything I simply had to exist in it and express my feelings and together we healed the parts of me that were less. Together we grew the parts of him that were more and we found peace in our relationship. The quite and duality of our relationship is a theme of give or take in a happy way.

When we found out we were pregnant happy could not begin to explain what we felt. There was love. So much love that we both knew we had to offer and we both knew that our home would be one away from what my family thrusted into me and one that was just generally happy. We made it to 27 weeks and 2 days before our sweet boy Micha was born still.. Everyday it hurts and everyday we carry it differently. We’ve been lost in our healing and because of our backgrounds we healed differently.

Love was lost and that was that.

Although.. Loving your partner through something traumatic is a choice you realize you have to accommodate for everyday after that loss. You must work on that love until it returns naturally. You never fully stop loving but some points you realize that empathy is lost and you care less about their feelings as you lick your own wounds. Some relationships don’t last during this due to fighting to get back on track since one is always on survival mode and the other is used to mourning at a normal pace. Take a deep breath during this and know that mourning, is for you as well and you deserve to cry with your partner. Not cry against them. Take time to speak beautiful into them and watch them reciprocate that same beauty into you. Loving should never be difficult if your willing to set your weight down and see that it’s not just you. You of course are your own personal healer and you rely on yourself alone, but you do not have to endure this alone. Love is something beautiful and if you can grasp the bits you still have for your partner, you can healthily work on the pain together.

A life time of sorrows strips you of everything normal people find normal and you have a wall built up for yourself. But lay down those burdens. You’re not a child anymore. You can talk about it and make a justifiable decision that YOU need to make. Hold on. It gets better even if you can’t find the light right away. You will.

God does not take away gifts like babies, there was something you needed to learn and although that may not be clear at this moment. You may learn that You have to let go of the life you knew to be the person you one day hope to be. And it’s normal to hate every ounce of everything you’ve endured since then.

You’ll find yourself after walking out of the self sabotage and torment.

You deserved that child and one day, you’ll have another and it will never replace that sweet baby in the beginning but you’ve found out by now, the heart grows. When we’re not looking. Ever so silently. It grows.

#winter baby #tw #trigger warning #stillborn #stillbirth #stillbirth and the after math

[feralwifey]

I just don’t think videos about abortion, miscarriage or stillborn babies should be in pregnancy tags :)

#miscarriage tw #stillborn tw #death tw