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#tw suicide

Anyway the best advice I’ve ever given is the advice of “if you can’t see a reason to live right now, I know it’s hard to understand that there might be one. I know it sucks, but our brains are against us. They want us to fail, to lose sight of what matters. If you can’t live for yourself, or for anyone else just yet, learn to live to spite your shitty fucking brain. Even if it just means eating when your brain is telling you you’re a failure. ‘Oh, am I a failure? Ok, fine. Let’s say I am. What the hell are you gonna do about it brain, it’s your goddamn fault!’ ‘…’ ‘exactly. Fuck off and let me eat my goddamn taco’”

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the smell of alpaca breath

the way the soft blankets feel on my skin when they are cold

the sight of the sunset over the reservoir

chatting with the magpies

really good showers in the dark

breathing in fresh air

drinking water when ive been parched

getting a sketch right the first time

the smell of watercolour paint

creating something that others love


the sound of kirins screams when she sees me

del’s noises when dad starts playing with her

abu’s gentle horse breath

seeing the cria play with one another

getting surprise kisses from the girls

ambushing the boys with hugs

the feeling of evvy purring around my shoulders

the sight of the stars at the farm

those early days before i knew it would all be so bad

the way the sunlight hits my wall in the morning

kuzon’s squeaks

wearing mesh

wearing mismatched jewelry

eating weird food combinations

the taste of burnt popcorn

sleeping in and waking up without any pain

watching a really good anime

laughing so hard i start crying

being hugged


mostly being hugged

feeling like i am worth something

feeling like i am useful to someone

feeling like i have helped

soft pyjamas

a really, really good selfie

keeping in contact with old friends

losing contact with people who hurt me

the thought of getting to meet who i love

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You guys have to stop using “think about your parents” as a way of convincing someone out of suicide

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So, I know no one fuckin cares, but yesterday I woke up to life, someone really close to me had a massive mental break down and it shaked me to my core. I was high af and when she started to breakdown I was worried, I was present, I was there. It felt like if I’ve been inside of myself for days and she pulled me out by screaming for help.

I’m less tired, and I’ve decided to keep swimming. I decided to share my life with my partner, I can’t quit on life if I’m able to help.

I’m gonna keep going, and hope I go back to therapy on January.

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my mom whenever we have a fight: i wouldn’t mind if you died. feel free to kill yourself anytime

my mom when i tell her that her words hurt me deeply: you’re just overreacting! i didn’t mean any of that

and you know what? i know she doesn’t mean any of the shit she says. i know that now. but 16 year old me didn’t and what if i had killed myself back then? how would she life with all that guilt?

but you know. i am weak and dumb and useless and a terrible daughter. but i would never kill myself. no matter how much my depression tempts me. no matter how much it takes from me, it will never take my life. even if i think about dying all the time.

also. just because she didn’t mean it doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt and i’m TIRED of being dismissed like that. she has to learn that words have impact and consequences.

i have NEVER even once in my life threatened to kill myself. never. not even when all i wanted to do was die. i never said a word of it to her because i know it would hurt her

but does she do the same for me? does she think before she speaks? no. and then she just comes around after a few days acting like nothing happened

i am DONE. living alone is difficult. we were already going through a tough time without her pulling this bullshit on me again.

but enough is enough.

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ooh scandalous 😌 i want to tell this man^ that it does not matter which version of is story is true, what’s important is that this headline conveniently pulls attention away from their original crimes!

look everyone… 😭 look at this tame and grass-colored poster we made… with smiling pics of these poor men… look how happy and proud they are to be *hic* fighting for our country and *hic* protecting *hic* our freedoms… and now they are gone, their lives *hic* wasted… only cos

👏 they killed unarmed afghans for funsies!!! 👏

where is the commemorative poster for those poor murdered ppl?

learn to recognize propaganda when it smacks u in the face 



uhmmm turkey can control what germany does now apparently 🤯😂 whoa!

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I’m really dysphoric & sad so I made a playlist for that but it’s comforting here

hopefully I’ll update it frequently. I’m paying very careful attention to make sure the songs are soft & comforting

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Trying to draft a post explaining to spn fans that therapy is not evil like it’s consistently portrayed it but I just… dont have the fucking energy man. I can’t believe Andrew Dabb portrayed a psychologist as cruel to Dean and then endorsed suicide. It’s unfathomable.

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