#tw ummm hand in the ass???
threi · a month ago
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1mzie · 4 months ago
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Euphoria <3
Elliot x !Fem reader 💋
Tw // drug mentions/ doing drugs / minor cheating / smut / 18+ / Jules slander
Summary : Rue asks you to go to Elliots house and you catch Jules flirting with him. Elliot reassures you telling you it’s fine and that he doesn’t like her at all, when they go he makes up for it.
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iPhone: New text message from ‘Rue Rue’
Rue: hey come over to Elliots Jules is here im literally so bored.
You: Okay im omw lmfao.
You head over to Elliots and text rue that youre here. She comes and opens the door for you while Jules and Elliot were upstairs. Both of you didn’t think of anything suspicious, As you go to his room you see Jules on Elliots lap and he was laughing with her. Obviously this made you go mad, like insane mad.
Jules looks at you and you give her a mean ass stare, she feels offended and gets up and goes over to rue. Elliot looks at you, and finally welcomes you. As he comes to hug you - you nudge him off of you. He looks at you confused, you don’t make eye contact.
He whispers to you “What was all that about my love?” he said concerned.
You completely ignore him and go over to rue, knowing Elliot is obviously mad or at least confused. You ask rue if she wanted to play truth or dare and she agreed. Rue then asked Elliot snd Jules if they wanted to and they also agreed.
Sitting opposite of Jules you keep eye contact with her as she keeps looking away and scratching her neck.
“Soo um who wants to go first??” Rue said breaking the ice.
“I’ll go.” Jules replied.
I chuckled under my breath.
“Ummm Elliot truth or dare??” She said laughing.
Of course Elliot…
“Dare” He nervously replied.
“I dare you to kiss me.” Jules said bluntly.
Rue shot me a look of jealousy and shock. Elliot was stunned and didn’t know what to do. Jules grabbed his facd and kissed him, Probably for 7.45 seconds. Yeah you was counting. They soon pulled away and Elliot was in shock but Jules wasn’t, she found it so funny she was smirking. Right there you wanted to smash her face in so hard.
“I um alright..” Elliot coughed. “truth or dare” He looked straight at me.
“Dare.” you said calmly.
“ i dare you to make out with me. “ Elliot replied staring into my soul hoping id say yes.
“Alright.” I said smirking.
You crawled over to Elliot and sat on his lap and stated to make out with him. Your lips smashing against each others as he places his hands on your ass cheeks. You feel his hardened dick spring against your thigh as he makes eye contact with you. You then place your hand on his dick and stroke it over his bottoms. He then moves down to your neck and looks behind you as he sees Rue and Jules also making out.
You whisper to him “Elliot can they go so we can have some time together” You didn’t mean it in a mean way seen as rue was your friend you just enjoyed this so much.
“mhm sure darling” He said softly.
You got up and sat on his bed as he coughed getting Jules and Rues attention.
“I think you guys need to take that somewhere else maybe go back to Jules or something” Elliot said in a awkward tone.
“Mhm sure” Jules said as her lips were still connected to Rues.
They soon left and it was now just you and Elliot. He looks at you and jumps on his bed right next to you and pulls you on top of him. Keeping eye contact with him.
“Can i ask you something?” Elliot said in a nice manner.
“Why was you so off with me earlier??” He said confused.
“Jules. She annoyed me, she was laying on your chest and you both were laughing. I don’t know it made me jealous i guess.
“Hey i only love you. Youre the only one i care about sweetheart. I’ll never ever replace you, Stop overthinking.” Elliot replied caressing your cheek.
“ I love you Elliot.” You said softly
“I love you too cutie, now let me show you something. Take ur bottoms off really quick for me darling.” He said putting his hand on ur thigh.
You take your bottoms off and wonder what he was going to do. He goes out of the room and comes back with a small bag of coke. You was really confused.
“Right stay still for me because i need the lines to be straight.” He said sternly.
You didn’t reply trying to not make any vibration. He rubbed your other thigh while making lines of coke on your inner thigh. He then licks up your thigh until he gets to the lines. You moan softly as he does. He snorts the lines and then proceeds to take your panties off. Your breathing hitched and his warm breath hit your wet core. He opens your thighs and squeezes them. As he makes his head down to your core, he starts to eat you out licking your pussy as your back arches. He then continues and starts to put his fingers inside you, he fingers you slowing moaning in your ear as he plays with your clit, Elliot suddenly changes his pace and starts to go faster and faster making you moan loudly. You grab his hair as you were about to cum but then he stops. You whine.
“Elliot ughh babe carry on please” You said whining like a little baby.
“Hold on cutie” He starts to pull his pants down and takes his underwear off, his dick springs up and cum squirts on your stomach he rubs his precum around his dick.
He rubs his dick on your core and clit edging you. He then pushes his dick in you softly and looks at you making sure your okay. As he starts to pick his pace up he starts to play with your boobs as your nipples harden, he sucks on them and blows cold air onto them.
“Elliot im gonna cum..” you scream curling your toes snd scratching all of his back.
“Go on princess” He kisses you as you moan into his mouth.
“Good girl” He praises you as he takes his dick out of you and then gets your head and places it on his dick as he was going to cum.
As you mumble your moans he cums.
“Oh fuck. Wow your amazing.” he tilts his head back as you look up to him admiring his jawline.
You then kiss him and let him taste himself. He then pick you up ready to clean you up.
“Lets go shower lovely.” As he wipes a bit of his cum from the side of your mouth.
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sinfulcries · a year ago
hi im new to ur blog and im loven all of it soo ummm can i request possessive yandere male reader and bottom kenma??? non con
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what’s best for you — kenma x reader
author’s notes: FUCKXXKKX im not in the writing mood im so sorry it takes me so long to post 😭 ive also been playing lots of minecraft if anyone wants to play w me hmu. also this is more dubcon i hope you don’t mind!
tw. yandere reader, manipulative && possesive reader, car sex, dry humping, abuse, dubcon
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You adored Kenma. He was your love, your little prince, someone that you would wholeheartedly devote your life too. Hell— You would even kill for him! Emotionlessly ripping out the hearts of those who ever hurt him.
Though you acknowledged the fact that he was amazing— he was also vulnerable. And knowing this, you made sure to protect him and watch him at all costs, making sure that he was safe and no one placed their filthy hands on him.
As you saw the setter, /touching/ and /smiling/ at the disgusting cashier however, You clenched your fist, A nasty frown replacing your bright smile as you glared at the two in distaste. How could you let him go out like that alone?! You felt like an idiot! And once he came walking back to you with a slight smile on his face, you could only smile back hoping that he wouldn’t be able to see just how mad you really were.
“So what were you two talking about?” You asked, being careful not to startle the shorter male. Kenma however only eyed you excitedly before rambling about how he talked about the newest video games and the latest gaming technology with the innocent cashier.
How could he look so happy after talking with a stranger? It was odd yet the thought only infuriated you, fishing your keys out of your pocket before unlocking your car.
“Get in the backseat.”
Giving no time for the blonde to utter another word, You rubbed your temple before wrapping a hand around the male’s throat. “I said get in the fucking backseat.”
Kenma saw the dangerous glint in your eye and it only made him gulp, fear bubbling in his stomach as he thought of what he had done to make you so /angry/.
Reluctantly opening the car’s doors, He slowly made himself comfortable in the back seat, Your larger figure following suite before you made sure to lock your vehicle.
“Y/n what are you—“ Kenma was cut off with your lips on his, Your hand coming down to cup his ass possessively making him gasp. “Didn’t I tell you that nice people are only trying to take advantage of you?”
Kenma furrowed his eyebrows, attempting to push you away only to have your grip on his body tighten. “You mean the c-cashier? We were only talking about games! H-He seemed nice!�� The shorter male protested, A loud whimper leaving his lips once you started to ground your clothed cock against his smaller one.
The blonde almost came feeling his cock twitch against yours— The friction too good for him to barely think straight. And though he wanted desperately for you to stop, his body sinfully craved for more.
“You know i’m the only nice person, kitten. I only want to protect you. I want what’s best for you.” Manipulating him was easier said than done with how intelligent the male was however, after a few well planned lies and half hearted i love you’s, he’s practically putty in your hands.
As Kenma bucked his hips upwards to meet your shallow thrusts, you quickly wrapped a hand around his throat, pushing his head back onto the seat with one harsh slam. “Y/n s-stop please I—“
He could barely breathe! Your hold on his throat only making him struggle against you and as he tried to rip away from your grasp, a sinister grin instantly wormed its way onto your face. “I only want what’s best for you. And if I have to show you some of my morals once more, I wouldn’t mind fucking them back inside of you, Kozume.”
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psychewithwings · 8 months ago
Kinktober Day 12 : Panty Stealing w/ Todoroki Shouto
Heheeheh im such a sucker for roommate au, and pls living with him??? ummm yeahhh
TW: 18+ no ageless blogs or minors, so he’s a lil possessive, nasty stuff regarding readers panties, licking, smelling, all that, mentions of sex kinktober masterlist
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After Midoriya had moved out of the flat and in with Uraraka, it was quiet. Shouto missed late nights with his best friend and yet he found himself relishing in the silence, the space of the extra empty room. Well… until Uraraka had called him asking if the room was still free, she had a friend who was in a pinch. You’d moved in a few days later.
His initial thought was that you were loud. Not your voice… well maybe sometimes, especially when he heard your laughter seeping through the walls while you talked on the phone or watched dumb videos. You’d often insist on showing him these videos… they never were all that funny but he laughed only because he was watching you. It was after a specific conversation with you that he realised, you weren’t loud… you were just bright. Like the sun, something about your aura demanded to be seen. And just like looking at the sun he knew he shouldn’t stare and yet you were so entrancing.
Shouto found himself sitting and talking with you for longer, watching movies with you, late night drives and grocery store shopping on saturday nights with you. Canceling plans just to stay in with you. He didn’t realise how deep his feelings for you ran until tonight.
You’re probably smiling all sweetly at him now… whoever that guy was. You’d shown Shouto his pictures, babbling about how cute he is. Shouto tried to be happy for you, but he wasn’t… he didn’t want you to be with anyone else, just him.
Shouto found himself in your room, he’d been in here before of course, just not without your invitation. He likes your room, it holds your atmosphere and he melts into the soft feelings of you right away, even though it’s a little messy. Pieces of failed experimental outfits lay on the floor and the bed. He’s glad to see you didn’t wear that red dress for your date... it’s too good for such a nobody. You’re too good for such a nobody. 
It’s the lacy pink fabric among the strewn clothes that catches his eye. He smirks to himself, so this is what you like... Pink, girly frills, giving off the air of innocence. He’s content with just looking until he sees that the crotch is still glistening. He reaches down and swipes them from the floor without a second thought before collapsing back onto the bed.
As Shouto holds them up he notices the little ribbon ties on each side. You were wearing a dress and just these earlier. His cock grows hard in his pants as he realises this flimsy lace, that just ties to stay up, is the only thing between your cunt and him… He imagines how they’d look clinging to your perfect ass, how he would take them off slowly, how you would ask him sweetly, voice raspy with lust, for him to touch you, how your pussy would be dripping down your thighs, how he would shove these pretty panties in your mouth and fuck you just like you asked. Fuck, his pants are getting tight and he palms himself to alleviate the ache. Shouto rubs the fabric between his hands and groans when he grazes the wet spot. They’re soaked; are you always this wet or… did you make yourself cum in these before leaving the house.
He lifts your panties to his nose, and his eyes roll back in his head. You smell divine, it’s not easily compared to earthly things like how people do in book or movies. You don’t smell like strawberry or peach or flowers, nor would he want you to when you smell so much better. You smell like lust, like desire, like obsession. He undoes his pants and frees his cock. Pre-cum dribbles from the head of his cock and he uses it to lube his shaft. He inhales your scent again, “fuuuck,” he moans to your empty room. He imagines your response, how you’d gasp in response to feeling how his cock was drooling just from thoughts of you.
Shouto drags his tongue against the wetness and his cock jumps at your taste. You taste like want, like yearning, and possession. He can’t keep licking, else there won't be enough of your essence for his cock. He uses his thumb instead to collect some of your taste before he wraps the damp crotch of your panties around his cock. The wet fabric slides down his shaft and he fucks his hips up into his fist.
He imagines slamming his cock into you. So hard that you have no other choice than to fall forward, hands using his chest for support while your nails cut little half moons into his chest. “Such a good little girl, taking my cock like this,” he would say, watching you bite your lip. He’d make you touch yourself, rub your clit until you cum around his cock. Shouto can’t imagine what your pussy would feel like if you taste this good.
He sucks your essence off the pad of his thumb but fuck it’s not enough. He shoves your panties into his mouth, tongue rolling around the crotch as he tries to suck your juices from the cloth. Your panties muffle his heavy breathing, his grunts, and his groans, as his empties his balls inside his own hand. His eyes are squeezed shut as he imagines filling you up instead.
His head on your pillows relishing  the smell of your shampoo while Shouto catches his breath. He removes your panties from his mouth and uses them to clean up his cum. He admires his work, it’s the best he can do for now to mark you, oh but when he can... Shouto will cover you in his cum, kiss you deeply, possessively, while you’re fucked out and sticky.
He zips up his pants and holds your panties in his hand, debating on what to do… Does he want to take them? Use them again? Fuck,he hadn’t cum that hard in so long. Will you notice if they’re missing from the floor? Maybe he should leave them where he found them, soaked in his cum, so you’ll know how much he wants you to be his. He makes a good case for both until he hears your key in the door. He shoves your panties in his pocket and leaves your room, making sure to turn out the light as he goes. He slips into the hallway and looks towards the door. He meets your eyes, curious gaze eyeing him up and down as you ask so innocently, “what are ya doing in my room?”
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wanna join the taglist? 
@hisgoodpuppy​ @kirissluttypebble​ @bakubros-boo-thang​ @patchworkpuzzle​ @geektastic84​ @sugalovaowo​ 
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mypimpademia · a year ago
hey girly !! i have no clue if your request are open are not but can you do the “hey shawty your man around” tik tok trend with bakugou,shinso,mirio or whoever you want
Bakugo x reader, Shinso x reader, Mirio x reader
TW: Swearing
Notes: my requests are open as long as my bio says so
Lmfao ummm.... ngl I had a request before this but my ideas for this one have been sittin in my head since I got this and my brain is this close || to straight curb stomping me if I dont write it💀
On Mirios part, he still has his quirk
@myhoodacademia @bnhainthewoo @iiminibattlehero @ecao @v-vpluto @cheerfulpeople1234 @strawberry-ice @mixxfi @renzai @liltodo @deepsleepysheep @wolfkid22 @mythiccheroacademia @soy-diablito @myfandemons
Chile... do you have a death wish?
If so, then continue reading❤
Katsuki actually doesn't know about this trend... because he's a nerd and stays on pro hero fan tiktok
And really only hears about trends like theses from Denki and Sero
So yall are probably chillin, and you just decide to do it
Sitting next to each other on the couch, youre using Katsukis legs as a footrest, and you pull up the audio
You were scared for your life, but you wanted to see what happened
Plus, if you do shit like this and you date Katsuki at the same time, you just prepared to see God when you feel like bein on yo bs💀
And when you hit that play button, you completely accepted that fact
Hearing the ring tone, Katsuki perked up, and side eyed you, wondering who it was
"Yo whats good shawty, yo man still around?"
As soon as he heard a male voice that he didn't recognize he snatched your phone out of your hand
This man defined 0 to 100 on the spot and did it flawlessly, award winning type shit
When he cools down after yelling his lungs out for 10 more seconds, he finally looks at the screen
Your phone got turned to ash before you could blink
"This is your own fault."
"And I didn't make you do what you just did."
Hes highkey petty about the whole thing too
"Katsu, can I use your phone?"
"Where's yours? Oh wait, you decided to make a stupid decision and don't have one anymore."
But he eventually buys you a new one when he feels like he tortured you enough (a month later btw)
Now this man...
You can never tell what he's thinking
So you really didn't know what to expect
You're probably in his dorm, chillin on Hitoshi's bed while he's in the bathroom taming his unruly ass hair
At first, you were just scrolling through TikTok (sound low for plot purposes, he can't know whats going on) and suddenly you came across one with the audio
You scrolled through some of the ones using the audio, and found them pretty funny, and decided to try it out yourself
So you turn up your volume, and opened up the sound
You reposition yourself so that your camera would be pointed towards where he comes out of the bathroom
And you started recording
"Yo whats good shawty, yo man still around?"
There was a second of silence before you faked a reply
But as if on command, right when you uttered a single syllable, Hitoshi stepped out of the bathroom and just stood there and just looked at you
Again, you can never tell what he was thinking, so you didn't know if his reaction was good or bad or somewhere in between
But regardless of what it was, it cracked you up
You started laughing hysterically and got up from his bed and walked up to him and held the camera up to his face and then stopped the video
And then a second later you feel his palm hit your forehead, and when you blink yourself back into reality you follow him back into his bathroom
"What kind of reaction is that??"
"It wasn't a reaction, I already knew about the trend."
"So you just hit my forehead for no reason?"
"I didn't hit you."
"Then what did you do, Hitoshi?"
"It was a love tap."
Usually, he doesn't ever have negatively reactions to anything
So you weren't scared going into this, especially since it was just for a tiktok
Youre lying down on his couch, and just scrolling through your tiktok
When you came across a TikTok using the audio
The video was light hearted, and all the boyfriend did was laugh and play fight with the person behind the camera
It honestly made you think of your own boyfriend, and you wondered how he'd react if you did it
Hearing distant footsteps, you made a split second decision to do it then and there
You quickly opened up the audio, and when the footsteps were close enough, you pushed the record button
"Yo whats good shawty, yo man still around?"
A second later, Mirios upsidedown face was in front of yours
"Who are ya' talkin' to Sunshine?"
Tilting his head back up, he saw that you were just on TikTok
"Oh! Haha, gave me a real scare for a second babe."
Mirio gives you a long kiss to your cheek, wrapping his arms around you
Then looks up at the camera and winks, sticking his tongue out
When you post it, the entire comment section just calls him adorable and says you're both so cute together
If youre looking for the most wholesome reaction you could get, Mirio is the way to go
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delicateikemenmemes · a year ago
educating jean about gay (male) sex (racy + crack warning)
the following headcanon is brought to you by a combination of a conversation i had with my bro-est of bros @smartass-hoot and my usual chaotic crackhead energy lmao enjoy 
(TW: mentions of homophobia)
SCENARIO: MC’s phone is somehow still working, so she’s taking a break from her chores by reading some yaoi in the dining room. jean happens to walk past while she’s reading a steamy scene. 
jean: “mademoiselle, what is that image you’re looking at?”
MC, going bright red & desperately trying to hide her phone: “uMMM NOTHING NOTHING AT ALL YOU SAW NOTHING YOU SWEET SUMMER CHILD.”
jean: “were those two men engaged in some kind of dance?”
jean: “you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to. it was just a question out of curiosity. if it would make you feel better, i can ask the others instead.”
MC, panicking: “wait no i’ll explain it!”
MC explains the concept of homosexual relationships & the barest details of sex between people with dicks to jean bc she’d rather the information come from her than another less savoury source (read: arthur). she doesn’t go into the technicalities of the actual deed bc she still feels dirty being caught reading a sex scene by jean of all people, so she’s just like “there are some people who are attracted to others of the same gender”. she’s nervous about his reaction since jean is a devout christian/catholic boi & she doesn’t know what kind of attitudes he was raised with in his time. but she didn’t need to be worried.
jean: “i see.”
MC, blinking: “wait, that’s it?”
jean: “is there anything else i should be saying?”
MC: “no… it’s just that even in my time, there are some people who have... less-than-nice things to say about people in same-sex relationships. they call them ‘sinners’ and discriminate against them, often on the basis of religious beliefs.”
jean, genuinely confused: “that doesn’t make sense. it’s not any of their business who other people want to love. those people who discriminate against others based on such a thing are the ones who are sinners.”
MC is so relieved she could cry or hug him or both. instead she just thanks him and leaves to continue with her chores and to flee the shame of being caught.
that’s when several other guys enter the room (this is where the crack comes in lmao you’ve been warned):
dazai: “my, my. we just saw toshiko-san skipping out of here looking positively over the moon. what were you talking about with her, jean-kun?”
jean, with a completely straight face: “sex between two men.”
theo, choking: “WHAT now?”
jean: “sex between two—”
theo: “yes, yes, i heard you the first time. but WHY would you and hondje be talking about that?!”
jean: “i saw her reading an illustrated story about two men having sex. i didn’t know what it was, so she explained it to me.”
(MC i’m so sorry the guys are NEVER going to let you live this down)
arthur: “oh? how interesting. turns out the sweet little dove has a naughty side too! if only she would show it to me~”
jean: “but there is something bothering me.”
theo: “what, the idea of two guys banging it out?”
jean: “it just sounds—painful. apparently it hurts for women to be penetrated by a man, especially if it’s their first time. so i can only imagine for men it would be—”
arthur: “whoa, whoa, whoa! first things first, it generally only hurts for women if her lover is unable to pleasure her. if you’re able to please your lady during foreplay, the actual deed shouldn’t be painful for her. in fact, it is quite pleasurable if you can find the right spots. the pretty skirt i was with last night—”
theo, smacking arthur upside the head: “shut up, you rotten klootzak. no one needs to hear about your late-night escapades.”
jean, still a Confused Boi: “so if a man is able to please his male lover during the foreplay stage, then—”
theo: “OKAY WE NEED A DAMN TIMEOUT. jean, this is going to be a very crude and simplistic explanation, okay? the reason why sex generally isn’t painful for women if they were pleasured during foreplay is because their body naturally makes them wet down there when aroused. this helps to reduce friction during penetration so it doesn’t hurt. that’s how the female body works. but the male body doesn’t do that.”
dazai: “indeed. a biological failure on evolution’s part is that men are still not self-lubricating despite a number of them being interested in being penetrated by other men.”
jean, growing even more confused: “self-lubricating?”
theo: “i wouldn’t call it that, but yes. so if a guy’s going to have penetrative sex with another guy, they’re going to need a lubricant. it’s a substance you use to reduce friction. most people use spit. in hondje’s time they’ve probably invented something better and more sanitary.”
dazai: “ah, during the edo period in japan, men used clove oil. of course, should you not have access to clove oil and you don’t wish to use spit, there is an alternative.”
theo: “… why am i getting a bad feeling about this?”
jean: “what alternative?”
dazai, still smiling serenely: “m i l k.”
theo, slamming a hand down: “okay, NO, discussion over—”
jean: “milk?”
dazai: “yes. it is a smooth fluid, is it not? that makes it perfect for lubrication. you just have to take care to make sure it doesn’t dribble out. or, well, you should keep some nearby just in case.”
theo: “what the actual hell are you—”
arthur: “i don’t normally agree with you, dazai, but for once i concur.”
theo, a hair’s breadth from losing his temper: “arthur, seriously, shut the FUCK up before i—”
arthur: “why, put some cereal in that ass and call it breakfast! now, that’s what i call foreplay!”
MC rushes back to the dining room in a panic after a loud roar of fury shakes the entire mansion. she finds arthur and dazai sprawled on the floor with bumps on their heads, theo breathing heavily like he just went berserk (which was exactly what happened), and jean muttering weird things under his breath. she thinks she heard something about “ass” and “foreplay” and “breakfast” but she honestly can’t be certain.
the aftermath: 
deeply traumatised, theo absolutely refuses to even look at milk and cereal for the next two weeks. one time sebastian is serving cereal for breakfast and theo nearly flinches himself out of his chair. concerned, vincent asks if he’s okay. theo would do literally ANYTHING except ruin his beloved broer’s innocence, so inside he’s just like 
arthur & theo would tease MC about her ‘interests’—except every time they try, they find jean growling in the shadows with his hand on his sword. he can’t forget the sadness in MC’s eyes as she was explaining homophobia to him, and so he will defend the mademoiselle and what she believes in with everything he has. eventually arthur & theo give up, deciding it’s not worth the trouble after all. and the entire time MC’s just like:
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jean also clarifies with MC about what kind of “lubrication techniques” they use in the 21st century. he is categorically relieved to learn that they, in fact, do not use milk as lubrication, and neither do they put cereal in their partner’s rear ends. he doesn’t mention that bit to her, though. after witnessing theo’s distressed reaction that unforgettable day, jean thinks it’s something that could potentially taint the mademoiselle’s innocence (lmao), and that is the absolute last thing he wants to happen.
as for MC? she decides it would be safer for everyone in the mansion if she read her yaoi in the privacy of her bedroom from now on.
the actual conversation that inspired this was a lot simpler lmao it was just like this:
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rules + masterlist
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achliegh · 5 months ago
The Major League
TW: Drinking, swearing, food, talk of pregnancy, arguing, mentions of nicotine, toxic patriotism, smut again (sorry)
Baseball Boys meeting and falling in Love
What could go wrong… ;)
Beta: @punkkkkboi
Most Characters belong to: @lumosinlove
Chapter 4
Marauders Stadium. Gryffindor, Hogwarts, 2020
They found their seats, being players they have the option to sit in the boxes to be away from all the people but Remus liked sitting in the crowd. He, Leo, and Clay all sat down right behind home plate. The Lions and The Hornets were playing today. Clay invited Remus and Leo to come watch with him because he was finally able to go to a game. Regulus would be joining them a little later, he was having a meeting with his parents.
“If you see the guy selling- ummm, meat sticks let me know.” Clay was typing quickly on his phone. Leo leans over and sees it's a big long text to Finn wishing him good luck. Rolling his eyes he sits but up in his chair.
“Meat sticks? Like jerky?” Remus was also texting but Leo knew better than to lean over to look at his phone, last time he snooped he got an elbow to the balls.
“Nej, like the ones on bread with sauce.” Remus was even more confused by this statement. Leo is trying to hide his smile because he knows what Clay is asking about but also knows Clay hates it when he corrects him. “HOT DOGS! That's what they are called! I need to get one for Finn.”
“Ah, okay. I’ll keep an eye out.” Remus and Clay have never physically met before today. Clay seemed nice if not a little hyper. He definitely wasn’t like Leo who was constantly making fun of Remus for something. Clay was still whispering hot dog to himself over and over while finishing up his text and then closing his phone.
The announcement that the national anthem will be performed by some famous singer comes over the speakers and Remus stands along with the rest of the crowd. Leo and Clay put away their phone but stay sitting. Remus doesn’t think twice because during actual games people from other countries don’t always put their hands on their hearts. It was fairly common, so not standing didn’t affect him.
Once the anthem was over and everyone sat down, a man who was sitting behind them leaned forward. He was wearing Sirius’ jersey and had red paint under his eyes.
“You should be ashamed you didn’t stand for the anthem, so fucking disrespectful!” He spit at Leo and Clay. The two Swedes share a look before both turning in their seats to look at him.
“Why would we stand for a country that is not ours?” This just makes the guy even more furious, almost as if steam is coming out of his ears. The younger man next to him started tapping his shoulder frantically, trying to get his attention. Clay glares at him.
“I don’t know what crawled up your ass, but I don’t think you would stand for a national song that isn’t America’s.”
“You’re just here to take shit away from born-and-raised Americans because your fuckin’ country wasn’t good enough!” Leo and Clay roll their eyes at the same time when someone walks up to them.
“Hey guys, sorry I got stuck on the stairs for the banner. What did I miss?” The man yelling at them looked at Regulus and his face completely changed.
“You- you’re Regulus Black, right?”
“Uh, yeah? That’s me.”
“Holy fuck- will you sign this? My fiancée is a huge fan of yours.”
“For such a big baseball fan he doesn’t seem to know who you are...” Remus says to Leo, making the man turn back to them, his anger coming back. Remus turns around and his face goes white.
“Lupin! I- Um Do you know these men? They were just being disrespectful to the flag and-”
“My teammate and his brother?” Remus raises an eyebrow, looking the man up and down.
“What? These two disrespectful fuckers-? These assholes that should be sent back-”
“You realize you would be sending two of the most promising rookies the MLB has seen in over three years home, right? Clay and Regulus play for the same fucking team!” Remus was getting annoyed just wanting the game to start. He watches the guy next to this embarrassment lean over and whisper something to him. He is suddenly very shy and scared.
“You are… the Knut brothers…” Clay and Leo both nod. The pen and paper he was holding towards Reg slowly and awkwardly moved to be pointed at them. “Will you-”
“No.” They both say and turn around. Remus and Reg turn around as well. “Jävla skitstövel” Clay mumbles under his breath taking a drink of his water. Leo nods and crosses his arms.
The game starts shortly after. Clay waves over the hot dog guy and buys one, Reg also gets one for himself. They watch as Sirius and Jorge Hanks, Captain of the Hornets, meet at the plate with their coaches and the umpire. Chatting for a few moments they all shake hands before going back to their dugouts.
The Lions take the field, Sirius starts his warm up pitches while James calls out infield positions. Throwing the ball to them after he calls them out to have them throw back to him as fast as they can. Remus was watching Sirius closely, making note of every little thing that Sirius does wrong and sending it to him over text. He was letting go of the ball just a bit too early or too late.
Finn and Kuny were miced up this time along with Ken Dernam and Harison Miek from The Hornets. It was very interesting listening to Finn talk to himself during a game. But not as interesting as listening to Kuny scream in Russian anytime the ball was near him. Leo understood him for the most part and would laugh while everyone else was confused. There was one point when the Lions were up to bat that Finn was chatting with James and Adam in the dugout as Sirius was batting, he was being teased because Finn kept sneaking glances at the stand to see if he could spot Clay who promised he would come.
“I’m excited that he is here, maybe he is in the boxes? He said he was coming with Leo so I doubt that.”
“You taking home together after this?” James is heard over the mic, Remus looks over at clay and smiles when he sees how pink he is.
“He’s going to something downtown tonight but he's also BUYING ME A HOT DOG!” James and him laugh.
“Hey, look.” They hear James say. Remus looks up to see Clay laughing on the jumbotron holding up the hotdog in foil.
“I fucking love him.” The jumbotron goes back to commercials and Clay's smile stretches over his entire face. Remus just goes back to watching Sirius who is now on first base having hit a grounder to third who fumbled it.
The rest of the game went by in a flash, Lions losing 23-22. They make their way down to the players lounge to wait for the teams. Reg and Clay were talking about what they needed to do tomorrow to clean up the apartment that they have been neglecting for the last few days. Leo was falling asleep on Remus’ shoulder as they sat on the couch. He's been so easy to fall asleep lately. Remus wonders if he’s getting sick. Clay stands up to go refill his water bottle at the fountain when he shrieks because someone grabs his sides and blows a raspberry on his neck from behind.
“Finn! Don’t scare me like that! Ditt dumma kalvbröd!” Finn is just laughing and wraps his arms fully around, resting his chin on the shorter man's shoulder. Clay who just huffs out a fake annoyed breath. He unwraps the slightly soggy hot dog and holds it up for Finn to take. Instead this beast of a man just takes a bite of it while he's still holding it. “I am not your hands.” Finn raises his eyebrow at Clay before letting the odd mistranslation slide.
Leo woke up when he heard Clay yell and shared a look with Reg. both of them gesturing with a thumbs down at how gross those two were being. Remus was just watching the rest of the people flow out of the locker rooms interacting with each other nicely.
“You did great.” Clay smiles up at him, turning his head to look at Finn who has his eyes closed while he chews. Noticing some mustard on the corner of his mouth.
“Clay I struck out four of the nine times I was up to bat… and we lost.” Clay reaches over and wipes the mustard off with his thumb and then licks his thumb clean. Finn opens his eyes and looks directly into Clay’s.
“You’re still a star to me.” They were just about to smooch when they heard someone behind them.
“Get a room!” Sirius and Logan come walking over to them looking fake grossed out. Everyone lets out a lighthearted laugh. The couple share a quick peck before pulling away. Logan goes over to Leo and smiles.
“Ready?” Leo takes his hand and is pulled up off the couch dropping their hands once stood next to each other.
“Yeah, let's go. Remus, I’m going to get a new vape. Because all of yours, you give me a shit.” Remus rolls his eyes. “I’ll text you on the way back home!”
“I have dinner with James and Lily tonight so I’ll be back late too, don’t leave the fridge door open again.” Leo flips him off as he and Logan leave, Clay and Finn following. Remus goes to stand when Sirius stands directly in front of him looking rather angry. “What crawled up your ass and died?”
“Did you really need to tell me every single little thing I did wrong?” Remus tries to hide his smile by keeping a neutral face but looking at Reg who is snickering he feels the corner of his lips twitch up. “You’re such a fucking dickhead!”
“I just wanted to make sure you knew what was wrong, you walked a bunch of people tonight.” Sirius’ hands turn into fist and he genuinely looks furious.
“At least I’m not a cocky fuck who thinks he's the best at everything.” Remus’ amused face falls and he furrows his brows annoyed.
“At least I’m not a spoiled brat who thinks he deserves everything without actually putting in any effort!” He stands getting right in Sirius’ face who does even flinch. Regulus looks rather bored from his spot on the couch, he was waiting for his friend Viktor from the Hornets.
“At least I know how to talk to the media!” Remus was known for having a short temper with the media asking the same questions over and over again until he eventually snapped at a reporter and honestly doesn’t give a shit. Sirius on the other hand knows how to play the media to his advantage.
“At least I don’t have to leech off someone else to get my name to be well known!”
At least I don’t have a scar that ruins my face!” That was it, Remus just looked at him shocked. He shoves past him heading towards the exit while yelling back.
“That was fucking low. Black!” Walking out he doesn’t stop until he gets to his car. Gripping his steering wheel he shakes it a bit, basically throwing his body around before grabbing the empty Styrofoam cup in the cup-holder and crushing it before tossing it in the passenger seat. Sirius Black is a fucking asshole! Taking a deep breath his whole body slumps forward resting his forehead on his hands still gripping the wheel. The one thing Remus was insecure about was the weird ass crescent scar on the left side of his face. It’s how he got the league name Moony.
He drives home after a few minutes of wallowing in his insecurities. Changing his clothes he starts walking to the restaurant on the corner that his friends wanted to go too. This was the second time in the last week they have invited him to dinner. Usually they invite him out for drinks. He wouldn’t turn down a good bowl of soup from this place though. Walking in he hears the little bell ring above him, spotting James and Lily immediately he walks over. As he gets closer the people who were blocking the view of the fourth chair are now behind him and he sees… Sirius. Fuck, of course he’s here.
He sits down next to the dark haired man and sends a tight smile towards Lily who was looking paler than normal. He doesn’t think anything of it. She was quite pale as it is, the lights didn’t help any. James’ leg was bouncing under the table right in front of Remus’ feet and it was starting to get on his nerves. They order their drinks and food at the same time, sitting in awkward silence.
“So…” James starts, everyone can feel how thick the air is with negative feelings and James was not known for thriving in those types of environments.
“So?” Sirius looks at him, he's exhausted and just wants to go home so he can scream into his pillows and throw them around a bit.
“¡Lily está embarazada!” He blurts out. Everyone just kind of blinks at him, including the waiter that is back with their drinks. Setting the drinks down they get the fuck out of there. Lily sighs and takes a drink of her water.
“I’m pregnant.” She laughs as both Sirius and Remus’ jaws fall open. James smiles and puts his arm around the back of her chair, resting his thumb on her shoulder and rubbing it. Lily was really nervous about this, her mother always told her how hard her pregnancies were and that instilled the fear into Lily at a young age.
“No fucking way. Since when!?” Remus speaks up.
“We’ve known for about a month.” James is glowing with pride.
“Lily, you were just drinking with us like four days ago!” Sirius throws in there. Remus looks at him and his eyes get even bigger as they share a look of concern before looking back at the soon-to-be parents. Lily laughs at them and covers her mouth with her hand so it isn’t too loud.
“Shirly temples are a girl's best friend.” She gives them a sly look as she holds her straw and takes another large drink of her water. James leans over to kiss her temple, still smiling from ear to ear.
“Why do you think we really started pushing you two to become friends? We want you both to be a part of our family. We need our family to get along.” James narrows his eyes at them as he lifts his drink to his mouth and tries to catch the straw with his tongue but fails for a second too long before finally getting it and taking a drink.
“We also have something to ask you, Sirius.” Sirius raises an eyebrow. This was so much information. His brain was currently on reason number 200 of what could go wrong in the next eight months. “We were wondering if… you’d be our baby’s godfather?” Sirius has confided in James before that he does not want a family of his own, doesn’t want kids or anything he wants to end the family line on that side. Because if he does have kids his parents will try to be involved in his life again and he just simply doesn’t want any because he doesn’t think he would make a good father. So this is James' way of giving him a family that isn’t his. Sirius is quiet for a while, Remus was just as shocked and was hoping Sirius would say yes, this is a huge deal.
“I would love to be.” Lily takes his hand and smiles at him
“You’ll be great.” The rest of the dinner was full of questions. The atmosphere around them did a complete 360 from before. Laughing and joking together like they all have been friends for years. The fight from earlier was behind Remus and Sirius but the fact they didn’t know much about each other was obvious. When it was obvious that everyone was getting tired they decided to head out. Remus picked up the bill much to Lily’s annoyance.
“I could have got it!”
“Shut up and let me pay.” After he gets his card back they all walk out to James and Lily’s car, hugging Lily tight Sirius is now almost scared to hug her as tight as he normally does, but again Lily gives no fucks and hugs him tighter.
“Thank you for saying yes, Sirius.” She whispers to him, he feels a bit choked up for a second as he responds.
“How could I say no?” They pull apart, James and Lily wave goodbye after they get in and start driving away. Remus walks over to him, they stand together for a moment in silence.
“Want to walk home together?” Sirius looks at him, the only light they really have now is the street lamps and he wouldn’t admit this to anyone but he was incredibly scared to walk alone at night. He just nods, they start walking down the sidewalk together in silence, reminiscent of walking home from the bar the other day. “I’m sorry about what I said in the lounge.” It was exactly like that night. Apologizes and everything.
“I’m sorry too.” This time was a bit different after they said sorry they walked in comfortable silence but it still felt like one of them should say something. “What are you doing tomorrow morning?” He has been thinking about this since the texts he got form Remus earlier.
“Making Leo food, kid will eat the entire freezer if I don’t make anything.” Remus sends him a small smile before looking back down at his feet. “Why? Asking me on a date?” Sirius snorts, as if he and Remus would ever be able to have a healthy relationship.
“I was going to ask if you could help me work on my pitching at the batting cages.” He wasn’t expecting anything but if Lily and James want them to be friends before the baby gets here they should at least try.
“Text me the time, I’ll be there.” Remus looks up and notices Sirius stop walking, they are in front of an apartment complex that looks like it reaches the sky. “This you?”
“Yeah, I’ll text you in the morning.” Remus nods as Sirius walks into the doors to the building after typing in a code on the door. Fancy. He keeps walking, his apartment is only a couple streets away. He felt lighter. Reaching his place he unlocks the door walking, taking his shoes off he stops when he sees his roommate face down on the floor with an animal running around him.
“You okay?” He walks over and lightly kicks his thigh a couple times. Leo lifts his head and looks at him with the biggest smile.
“Couldn’t be better.” He sighs happily and plops his head back down on the ground. Remus just nods.
“Okay then.”
Salazar Plaza, Slytherin, Hogwarts 2020
“Vad ska jag ha på mig på en balett?” Clay is looking in his closet trying to think. He doesn’t know if he should gress fancy or not. He looked it up and it really gave him nothing. Tonight he was going with Thomas to one of Noelle’s performances, he was hoping to actually talk to her tonight. Get a feel of what she actually thinks of Thomas. Finn dropped him off after the game because Reg was going out with a couple friends, Finn told him just to wear some nice jeans and a flattering shirt.
What the hell does that even mean?
He pulls out a plain black turtleneck and decides it wouldn’t offend anyone so he would wear it. It was really pants he couldn't figure out. Does he go with black slacks or black jeans? Why is he wearing all black? He doesn’t know! He decided on a pair of black jeans and grabbed his game-day sport coat to wear as well. He is barely dressed when his phone goes off. Slipping on his pant leg he is on the floor before even touching his phone. Scrambling over to it he picks it up.
“I’m outside, we better get going before all the good parking spots are taken.” Clay hangs up without another word and throws his clothes on. His hair is a fucking mess. He really needs to have his mom fix it. Grabbing his wallet, keys, phone, and vape he gets outside and just about forgets to lock the door.
Reg would have killed him.
Out of breath by the time he gets into Thomas’ giant fucking car he takes a deep breath and relaxes a bit into the seat before getting buckled. Thomas chuckles at him a bit before pulling away from the curb.
“You wouldn’t guess I play professional baseball by how out of air I am.” He sighs, catching his breath after a few moments and sitting up straighter in his seat. He sends Reg a text that he has left and takes a hit of his vape.
“You smoke?” Thomas looks over at him for a moment before turning his eyes back to the road. From this angle Clay can see how sharp Thomas’ jaw is. You could cut cheese on it.
“I- yeah, is that bad? I can not if you don’t want me too.” The man next to him laughs and shakes his head.
“Don’t worry about it, from what I heard you are a bit of a goody-two-shoes so I was just surprised is all.” He holds his hand out and Clay is confused, then Thomas points to his neon pink vape that Reg got him because he thought it was funny, and he hands it to him. Clay watches Thomas take a hit and suddenly feels like he can’t control his eyes, watching Thomas’ lips then his chest as he breathes in and lets it go. The vapor falls from his mouth and Clay’s feels dry. Handing it back to him Clay takes it.
“What are goody-two-shoes?”
“It means you’re a suck up.” Clay looks at him offended and crosses his arms.
“I am not! Did Leo tell you that?” Thomas flicks his turn signal as he pulls into a turning lane that leads to the parking garages.
“No, the media told me that.” Clay narrows his eyes and huffs for the second time that day. Taking another hit he looks out the window to see all the people dressed fancy walking into the building they are driving into. He wonders if he is underdressed. They find a spot pretty quickly and park in it, a bit crooked but what the harm Clay can’t even drive so who is he to complain.
“Where do we go? I’ve never been downtown before. Or here.” Thomas smiles at him and nods in a direction, Clay follows behind him close enough he doesn’t lose him. They make it inside with a large group of people, following along they get their tickets checked and are led to their seats behind some other people. He takes in the area around him. Velvet seats, a balcony, a big stage, loud people everywhere.
He did not belong.
The show started and he was pretty bored in the beginning, not that he didn’t think the people were incredibly talented but he just wasn’t into it. Then she came on stage. Thomas pointed out Noelle but Clay was already looking. She was tall and slim but looked incredibly strong still. She moved gracefully, her smile never faulting, her dark dark hair up in the tightest must uncomfortable bun Clay has seen in his life. Yet she was still beautiful.
He was definitely not bored anymore, watching everything closely, every move, every smile, every wondrous stretch of her arms out like she was reaching for him. This was Logan’s sister!? He must have got the short end of the stick when it came to genes.
The performance soon came to an end and people started leaving after clapping. Thomas and Clay made their way out into the gathering room where people could talk with the students. A lot of people were recruiters but others were family and friends. Noelle was the last one down the stairs, her slippers were changed into pink flats and her poufy skirt was not replaced with a satin wrap one.
“You stay here, I want to talk to her before you get all… you.” Thomas nods and pats Clay on the back as he walks away. Weaving through the crowd Clay is lucky enough to catch her right as some people were walking away. She was a lot taller than him. By a lot he means two inches but still.
“Hi, Noelle Trembly?” He holds his hand out for her to shake, she looks him up and down slowly. Almost like she was sizing him up for a fight which was rather intimidating. Being this close to her now he can really make out her face. Her nose was long and skinny with a mild arch, her cheek bones were high and pronounced. Her eyes were dark brown, dark enough her pupils almost got lost. A couple moles framed her left sharp eyebrow and her eyelashes were very long.
“Yeah. That's me.” She takes his hand and shakes it, smiling at him showing off her perfect teeth. He felt his heart speed up, she doesn’t let go of his hand, he remembers why he is here. Thomas.
“I’m a friend of Thomas'. I just wanted to say your performance was beautiful.” Her face looked a bit conflicted, almost nervous as a light pink dusted her cheek. Probably from the compliment. “I was wondering if maybe we could hang out sometime as friends? You seem really interesting and nice.” She squeezes his hand while looking in the crowd. He looks behind him and sees Thomas chatting with some men that probably recognized him. He looks back at Noelle and notices she is looking at Thomas. Turning her attention back towards Clay she lets out a breath.
“I don’t see why not, here.” She walks over to the table behind them that is a booth for teens to go to and get information about the art school, grabbing an information packet and a free pen she writes her number down. “Don’t lose it, I won’t give it out again.” With that she disappears into the crowd. Not wanting to actually mess up he quickly enters it into his phone so if he does lose the paper he wouldn’t be fucked.
Noelle walks over to Thomas and crosses her arms. He smiles at her in that sweet way he does and it makes her wonder if what she is doing is a good idea. She has always liked Thomas, she knows he would treat her well but… something in her is telling her it's not time to say yes to him yet. Like the universe is holding her back until the perfect moment.
“Noelle! You were amazing up there! Beautiful like a fancy bird.” She watches his smile get bigger as he feels proud of calling her a bird. She swallows the smile she wants to break through her lips.
“I gave your friend my number.” Thomas looks at her surprised. “He seems nice, but I’ve never seen you with him before? Who is he?”
“Finn’s boyfriend.”
“That's the guy that Logan complains about? Logan needs to check his attitude, guys gorgeous.” Thomas nods in agreement.
“Yeah I don’t know why he doesn’t like him other than Clay stealing Finn away from their best friend time.” Thomas and Noelle stand side by side, watching Clay fumble around with his phone and the packet Noelle gave him with her number. “Do I get your number?”
“No.” With that Noelle does her famous disappearing act. Thomas sighs, what is he doing wrong? He collects Clay and they walk to the car together. Getting in Clay takes a hit of his vape again and Thomas just looks at his lips around the tip and he furrows his brows. What was he doing looking at another dude like that? Does he like guys? He didn’t think so, he is comfortable in his sexuality and has never really looked at someone of the same sex so intently.
“Can you drop me off at Finn’s? It’s on the way to your place isn’t it?” Thomas nods and hums, turning on the car. They drive in silence while Clay is on his phone while vaping and Thomas is in his own head trying to figure out what's going on. He pulls up to Finn’s and parks. He rests his elbow on the console and turns to say bye at the same time Clay does.
Their faces are millimeters apart and they both freeze. Thomas’ eyes trail down Clay’s face, tracing his scar from his forehead to his cheek and then they find their way to his lips. Quickly looking up to his eyes Clay pulls away and mumbles a goodbye before stumbling out of the car and unlocking Finn's door with the spare key he has.
What the hell just happened.
Clay was caught off guard, they were so close to… he didn’t even know! He was freaked out. Jittery, walking into the apartment he finds Finn sitting on the couch with the arches of his feet resting on the edge of the glass coffee table. He was on his phone and in his glasses, shirtless. Clay kicks off his shoes, dropping his stuff on the table and straddling Finn, tossing his phone beside them.
Before Finn can say anything Clay pulls him into a hard kiss. Breathing in deeply through his nose Finn grabs Clay wherever he can. Pulling his closer after realizing what's happening, He moves his hands to Clay’s hips and pulls him even closer as they kiss. Clay pulls away to say something and Finn catches his lips again with a positively sinful kiss, making them both moan desperately.
“I know we-” Clay can’t help himself he kisses Finn again as his hands move from his hips to his ass.
“I fucking love when you wear these jeans.” Clay makes a surprised noise as Finn’s hands start kneading his ass after shoving his hands in his pockets.
“We haven't had sex in a while. Lets tonight.”
“I agree.” Finn runs his hands up Clay’s shirt pulling it up as his hands get higher. Clay shrugs off his coat and tosses his turtleneck on the floor. Sliding to the edge of the couch after putting his feet on the ground. Finn stands up without giving a warning. He clings to him tightly and is pulled into another breathtaking kiss. Walking to his room Finn gently lays Clay down and grabs the lube from his dresser drawer because he doesn't have side tables.
Prep was easy and smooth even if they haven’t done this in a while, Clay was on his chest as Finn fucked him. Kissing down his back and sucking on his neck. He could tell Finn was getting close by the sloppiness of his thrusts and Clay himself was on the edge as well. Finn reaches around Clay’s waist and starts jerking him off mostly in time with his thrusts.
“Finn! I’m-” Clay barely gets the words out before he feels his body lock up, throw his hip back once more and start spilling over his lover's hand . Finn followed not long after. He gingerly pulls out while massaging Clay’s back and hips like he likes.
“I’ll be right back, okay?” Clay nods after he rolls over onto his back, flexing his toes and stretching his whole body out with a grunt. He looks at the ceiling and something just feels off. It feels like the air around him has gone stale, narrowing his eyes as he traces and abstract lines of the rough ceiling, he can’t figure out what exactly is bothering him.
Finn comes back with a warm washcloth, wiping him down silently before handing him a small bottle of cherry Gatorade.
“I know you don’t like cherry but that's all I have.” Clay smiles and drinks it without complaining. Finn tosses the cloth into his hamper and yawns, stretching his arms over his head, looking back at Clay he sends him a sweet, tired smile. “Wanna cuddle? Or is that too mushy for you.” Clay laughs and reaches his hand out, Finn takes it and crawls into the bed with him. They end up slotted together almost perfectly, feeling the weight of Finn’s arm over his waist and his breath on his neck.
Clay looks around the room, Finn always falls asleep with one light on because he forgets to actually switch it off. And he wonders why his electric bill is so high. As he looks around with only the light of the hallway shining through the doorway, his eyes land on Finn’s dresser. He knows better than to look at this particular surface. It is the only place in the apartment where Finn displayed any pictures. He has a bunch of his family and teammates all together… but most of them are printed out pictures of him and Logan. The only picture he has of Clay is a polaroid from their second date over a year ago. It is a really cute picture but it's also in the bottom corner of his mirror that is attracted to his dresser. It was covered up by a framed team picture.
He then realizes why he was feeling so weird earlier, he and Finn get along really well, fantastic even, but maybe this was the devolving of them as a couple. He loves Finn, he's his first love, his first real date, his first kiss, his first time. Finn was his first… everything. That doesn’t mean they are meant to be together forever. They were on the big hill of a rollercoaster, right now they are sitting at the stop about to feel the drop in their stomachs as it goes down. But if they were about to fall apart, he was going to hold on.
He intertwined his fingers into Finn’s hand over his waist and held it. Finn is already fast asleep, the rhythm of his breathing evened out a while ago. He pulls Finn’s hand up to his lips for a second, kissing the outside of his thumb and scooching further into his arms. Closing his eyes he falls asleep after a few minutes of his brain racing around his head telling him all of the worst things that are going to happen.
It was a restless sleep.
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alice-dont-break · a year ago
Heyyy I’m back with another one shot! This one is little heavier and talks about anxiety attacks, so please proceed with caution if that content could negatively affect you in any way. I wrote this a while ago inspired the first time I really struggled with my anxiety, and my big sister was there for me. It makes me smile a lot so I hope y’all like it!!
Like Mother, Like Daughter | Janthony One Shot
tw: anxiety
After a long day at the studio, Anthony had to run up the stairs to his front door because he couldn’t wait another moment to see his family. It was almost eleven o’clock, so he’d only be sneaking into his daughters’ bedrooms to kiss their sleeping foreheads, but it would still be the highlight of his day. When he walked inside, however, he frowned at the light illuminating the kitchen and his eldest daughter’s slouched silhouette at the counter.
“Hey Cass, what’re you doing up?” He asked quietly, not wanting to startle her, while approaching her from behind to rub her shoulders and kiss the top of her head.
“Hey dad,” she grumbled, “just studying. History test tomorrow.” Her eyes stayed fixed on the textbook pages that were painted with neon yellow streaks.
“It’s pretty late peanut, you almost done? Even that super smart brain of yours needs some rest to perform at its best,” Anthony reasoned, continuing to knead the taut muscles in his daughter’s upper back.
“Mhm, just need to re-read these chapters one last time.”
Anthony thought about pushing her more to go to bed, but he recognized the steel-cut look in her eyes from many similar conversations with her mother. When these girls were determined, it was near impossible to get them to lighten up. Instead of arguing, he walked around the counter to fill a glass of water, then set it down beside her books.
“Alright Cass, I’m going to get ready for bed but come up if you need anything and try to get some rest soon. I can drive you in the morning so you can sleep in a little, too,” he said, muffled by her hair as he gave her another kiss.
“It’s okay, I’m getting to school early so Ashley and I can quiz each other. Goodnight dad,” she said dismissively.
As Anthony reluctantly walked out, he chewed on the inside of his cheek. Cassidy was in eighth grade, which meant she was in the thick of high school applications. She’d always had incredible marks at school, so she was hoping to attend a fancy Manhattan private school, on a scholarship no less. He and Jasmine were trying their best to keep her calm throughout the process and prove they were proud of her regardless of the outcome, but it was easy to see she was drowning under the weight of her own standards. If she wasn’t spending extra hours in the school library before or after classes, she was cooped up at the kitchen counter, nose buried in a textbook. Anthony worried about her stamina, but she was steadfast in her commitment to studying.
When he got upstairs, he found his younger daughter in the polar opposite position. Clara, now nine years old, was fast asleep in her bed. After carefully opening her door and tiptoeing to the bed, he crouched down to leave a soft kiss on her temple. He smiled as she subconsciously crinkled her nose while staying asleep, exactly the way Jasmine does. Finally, he retired to his own bedroom where he was greeted with a beaming smile from his wife.
“Hey baby,” Jasmine said, sitting up against the headboard in their king-sized bed.
Anthony walked around to her side and leaned down to give her a quick kiss on the lips before pulling her into a tight embrace.
“How was the studio?” she asked, muffled by his chest as she held on for an extra beat.
“It was good... hey did you know Cassidy is still down there studying?”
“Really?” Jasmine pulled back with a furrowed brow. “She said she was almost done when I came up here an hour ago.”
“Hmmm, that’s what she just said to me,” he hummed back.
Jasmine watched as Anthony pulled off his jeans and tee-shirt and climbed into bed next to her with a sigh. “I’m kinda worried about her, babe. She gets real worked up about this school application stuff,” he said softly. He reached over to bring her hand into his lap, needing something to fidget with and knowing she loved when he toyed with her fingers.
“I know, me too. Getting her to go to dance class is basically a fight every day. She just wants to come home and study.”
“She gets that same look in her eye that you do,” Anthony smirked. “That look that says ‘leave me alone while I’m achieving greatness or I’ll kick your ass’”.
Jasmine rolled her eyes but nodded in agreement. “Yeah, I’m worried she’s getting all my perfectionist tendencies. I just hope she doesn’t get the anxiety that comes with it.”
“Hey, we’ll be lucky if she’s as hard working, passionate and driven as her mama. We’ve just gotta make sure she knows how to handle it.” Anthony brought her hand up to his lips so he could press a soft kiss to each of her knuckles.
“You’re right,” Jasmine sighed, “I should probably go talk to her.”
Anthony released her hand as she leaned over to steal another kiss. Once she rolled out of bed, she pulled on a robe and slippers and trudged down the stairs.
“Baby girl, what’re you still doing up?” She cooed as softly as she could to avoid waking Clara, and sat down on the stool next to Cassidy.
“Gotta study,” she mumbled back. Jasmine rested a hand on Cassidy’s upper back, rubbing up and down, but it elicited no response.
“Babe, can you look at me for a sec?”
“Mom, I have to keep reading,” she groaned, glowering over at her mom.
“Cassidy, you’ve been studying all week for this test. You were acing the practice tests on Monday and now it’s Thursday. Now you just need rest.” Jasmine reached her other hand over to close the textbook. “C’mon, let’s get you to bed,” she murmured.
“No!” Cassidy shrieked, pulling back from her mother’s soft touch.
“Sweetheart - ”
“No mom! I have to keep studying! History is my worst class and if I don’t get 100% on this test I’m not going to be able to pull my grade up to an A by the end of the semester and then I won’t be able to put a 4.0 on my school applications and then I’m not going to get..get in anywhere and you...you’re all gonna know...know that I fail.. failed.. and I’m stupid and and -“ Cassidy unloaded all her fears without a single pause until finally her breathing was so erratic that she couldn’t get her words out. Jasmine watched with her lips tightly pursed as her daughter’s eyes filled to the brim with hot tears.
“Oh baby girl, come here darling,” Jasmine whispered. She stood up and stepped between Cassidy’s legs to hold her tightly against her chest. Sobs racked through her small frame as Jasmine felt her shirt getting damp with tears.
Jasmine pulled back and let her hands rise to cup her daughter’s face, thumbing away tears as they flooded her blotchy cheeks. She leaned forward to press a kiss to her girl’s creased forehead, but when she looked back, she found fear had flooded Cassidy’s eyes. Her breaths became shallower and her trembling hands reached out to grasp her mother’s forearm for balance.
Jasmine knew these signs far too well.
“Okay baby, it’s okay, just focus on your breathing. Just slowly in and out,” she coached.
“Can’t! I can’t!” Cassidy panted, eyes wide with panic.
Jasmine leaned forward for another forehead kiss, then took both her daughter’s hands and pulled her up to standing. She guided her slowly, one step at a time, over to the sofa, and sat down with Cassidy between her legs. She leaned them both back to open up her daughter’s chest, and placed one hand in her hair with one wrapped around her middle. Cassidy’s hand quickly found her mother’s arm to hold onto once again, as Jasmine used her other hand to smooth down her daughter’s unyielding curls.
“Sweetheart, I want you to pay attention to how my chest rises and falls, and try to make yours do the same. Try to get your air all the way down to your belly where our hands are, okay?”
Cassidy’s breaths became a little slower, though she occasionally choked on her sobs. “That’s it baby, keep going,” Jasmine praised.
Though she noticed the improved breathing, Jasmine was still attuned to the trembling of her daughter’s hands and the tension in her shoulders. Her heart twinged, recognizing the symptoms of her own anxiety that she was now well acquainted with.
“Hey baby girl, we’re going to try something that usually makes me feel a little better, okay? I want you to start by telling me five things you can see. Can you do that?”
Cassidy froze for a moment, but then nodded. “Um... our legs, the TV... the red blanket over there... um... the painting on the wall, and the rug?”
“Perfect, sweetie,” Jasmine cooed, pressing a kiss to her daughter’s temple. “Now can you tell me four things that you can physically feel?”
“Uhhh, your hands, your chin on my shoulder, the couch underneath us, and, ummm, my hair on the back of my neck?”
“Mhmm, good girl, now three things you can hear?” Another kiss warmed the side of Cassidy’s face, and she leaned into her mother’s touch.
“The fan, dad walking around upstairs, and cars driving by.”
Jasmine had smushed their faces together and was nuzzling against her daughter’s cheek. “Two things you can smell?”
“Your tooth paste and your shea moisturizer,” Cassidy replied with a faint smile.
“Classic,” Jasmine chuckled back, “now one thing you can taste?”
“The chocolate I was snacking on a bit ago.”
“That was great baby,” Jasmine murmured, before attacking Cassidy’s cheeks with kisses until she surrender a small giggle. Once they’d both settled, Jasmine rubbed Cassidy’s arms up and down. “You feeling a bit better, sweetheart? Wanna sit up and talk?”
Cassidy nodded, and turned to sit cross-legged facing her mom. “I d-don’t know what that was,” she frowned, “I like, couldn’t breathe and my chest hurt and I’ve never felt like that before.”
Jasmine held both her hands and nodded sympathetically. “I know babe, it really sucks. It looked like an anxiety attack, which I get sometimes too.”
“How do you stop them from happening?”
“Well, it’s hard. I think you and I are both perfectionists, which means we’re really hard on ourselves,” she sighed, rubbing half circles with her thumbs on the back of Cassidy’s hands. “It’s great to have little exercises like the one we just did to help you calm down, but what I’ve found most helpful is talking to a professional. I used to go see someone every week and she’d help me control all the anxiety I had about needing to be perfect all the time.”
Cassidy’s eyes widened as she responded with a slow nod. “That feels like a lot...”
“I know it seems scary at first, babe, and you definitely don’t need to be ready to do that now. It’s just an option for if you ever feel like this is too much. But for now, we’re going to be better about reminding you that we love you and your sister more than anything in this world, and that we are so proud of you because of what is in your heart and your mind. We don’t need an acceptance letter from a fancy school to prove what we already know, which is that our little girl is a genius, in addition to so many other things. You’re kind, and loving, and a beautiful dancer, and a perfect role model for your little sister... and those are the things that really matter.”
“Even if I don’t get in?”
“Even if you don’t get in,” Jasmine smiled, punctuating her sentence with a kiss to Cassidy’s temple. “Plus, if you ever forget that, or have another anxiety attack like this, you’ve just gotta call me or dad. Doesn’t matter if you’re at school, or if we’re working, or sleeping, you just call and one of us will be there to help you through it.”
“Does papa have these too?”
“No, not really. He gets stressed but it does’t manifest this way like it does for me. He’s helped me through loads and loads of them over the years though, so he’s basically an expert.”
Cassidy nodded, then dove back into her mother’s arms. “I love you, mama, thank you” she hummed against Jasmine’s chest.
“I love you too, baby girl. Now come on, let’s get you into bed.”
Cassidy bit her lip, as she looked up at her mom. “Can I just finish the chapter I’m on?”
Jasmine rolled her eyes. “You have exactly as long as it takes for me to make you a cup of sleepytime tea, and then I am closing that book.”
A few minutes later, Cassidy was following her mom upstairs and into her bedroom. “Mama, I’m okay now. You can go to bed,” she yawned, as they both slipped under the pink floral blankets on her bed.
“Well, I don’t know about you, but with all your studying I haven’t gotten nearly enough Cass and Mama cuddles, so I’m just as happy to stay in here,” Jasmine smirked.
Cassidy rolled her eyes, then shifted over to fold into her mother’s arms. With her head resting on Jasmine’s chest and gentle kisses pressed into her hair, she drifted off to sleep in a matter of minutes.
Sleep didn’t come quite as easily for Jasmine. Over the years, she and Anthony had found joy in spotting little pieces of themselves in their girls. First it was the curls, then the freckles, then the way Clara crinkles her nose when she’s loved on in her sleep, but this was different. She didn’t feel a warmth in her chest that would stir up a smile she couldn’t wipe away, but instead felt a churn in her stomach.
She felt her daughter’s warm breath on her neck and prayed it would always be so slow and steady, but deep down feared this might not be a one time incident. Anxiety built four walls around Jasmine when she was around Cassidy’s age, and have tried to cave in on her many times since. Over the years, she’s found different ways to hold them up and cope with their claustrophobic presence, and even found a beautiful partner to help from the outside, but they were always there.
Shards of guilt were gnawing at Jasmine’s mind, wondering if somehow she had passed on the thing that hurt her the most to the person she loved the most. She wanted to fight every battle for Cassidy right now, shield her from any pain or worry, and stop every anxiety attack before it got anywhere near her. Pressing a soft kiss to her baby’s temple, she made a silent promise to teach her every grounding and mindfulness technique she needed, and be present to listen, to empathize, and to love unconditionally. Looking at the girl curled up in her arms, cheeks slightly rosy and curls splayed out everywhere, she found a mirror image of herself, who was a little bit stronger and a hell of a lot smarter. If one good thing could have come from the years of fighting she’d been through, it was that she could now understand her daughter’s struggles and help her through them better than anyone else in the world could. For now though, all she could do was nuzzle in closer to her baby girl, and make sure she knew the warmth and comfort that would always be available to her.
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mynameseri · a year ago
i dont have a line of dialogue but i'd like to request anything you want to write about x pariston if thats okay if not thats fine too!! still a fan of yours regardless LOL
Aweee that’s so cute I’m flattered 🥺 I picked a random line of dialogue and went with it, hope ya like it dear. 🌸✨
Pariston Hill x Reader: “How do you think this ends?” 
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TW: implied abuse, manipulation 
“Caught red-handed” Pariston smirked, waltzing into the bedroom. Shit. You thought you had time to escape. You had been planning it for months. He wasn’t supposed to be home for at least 3 more hours. Why was he back so early? How did he figure out your plan?
You couldn’t bear to be around him anymore. He was toxic and manipulative, always gas lighting you. Pariston was an absolute devil disguised as an angel. You needed to get away from him. You were losing sense of what was real and what he had made up to trap you.
“What do you mean?” you asked, trying to play stupid. While trying to maintain this façade you tried to brainstorm excuses you could use to save your ass in this situation.
“Were you trying to leave me, (y/n)? What’s the meaning of all of this?” Pariston walked to where you were standing, grabbing the bag you were packing and dumping it all over the bed. “It looks like you were packing a bag to run away.” His unsettling smile never left his face. You tried to look away to avoid eye contact with him.
“I was… Just… Ummm…” You tried so desperately to come up with an excuse, but you had none. Pariston had cut off all your ties with your friends and family, so you couldn’t say you were going to visit anyone, the only viable excuse. You had nothing. No one. Only him. No excuse could save you. The truth was apparent.
Parison grabbed your wrist, squeezing it so tightly you thought it might break. “How do you think this ends?” He asked, his smile turning excessively sinister.  
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Day 30 - Surprise Birthday Party - Boardwalk Boys
I’ve was looking forward to writing this since day 8 when I got a comment on ao3 from DaWaeKnower
tw mentions of how rIcH sEt A fIrE aNd hE bUrNeD dOwN jAkEs HouSe WOOOOOOAHHHHHHH-
Michael went to go hit up his dealer, some random kid in a trench coat, once every few weeks on a Friday night.
One such Friday aligned with his birthday. He wasn't really planning on doing anything because he wasn't super big on celebrating his birthday.
The bois on the other hand had big plans. They were gonna go spoil the hell out of Michael.
So while he was out getting the drugz (tm), the bois just let themselves in after the customary arguing over who was gonna open the door because they all wanted to be the good boyfriend who was all chivalrous and shit.
Anyways, they each had like two bags after a trip to party city in which they spent like 100 bucks because quoting Rich, "Who the hell cares if its all super overpriced. The best for bae." They also got a boxed cake because they really suck at cooking, baking, and really anything that involves stoves/hot things.
So anyway (they're getting gayer every day).
They went inside and Michael's moms were quite surprised to see them.
"Umm.. boys Michael headed out like 20 minutes ago," Kathrine (mom 1) told them.
"Oh yeah, we know. We're just gonna throw him a surprise birthday party because he doesn't celebrate himself," Rich was just dumping shit from the bags he had on the kitchen table.
"Ok just don't burn our house down or make a mess. Please," Anna (mom 2) knew how chaotic her son's boyfriends were. She was convinced that the four of them together had like a quarter of a brain cell. Separately they had like 2 apiece. But when together it was "oh there are three other people to brain cell". Now do that with 4 people and you don't have very much brain cell.
"We won't," Jeremy was already rummaging around in the fridge to find the stuff for the cake mix. "Hey, guys do these eggs look large to you? It says three large eggs."
Jake was still standing in the living room. "I'll try and keep them from ruining your kitchen Mrs. and Mrs. Mell." Before they could tell him "Call me Kathrine" or "Call me Anna" he was off. "Babe I don't think it matters."
"Jakey it says large eggs tho. Are these large eggs?" Jeremy still was freaking out over the eggs.
"What is the standard size for an egg?" Rich was now confused as well.
"Guys just grab three eggs it'll be fine."
After they used all the damn brain cell they had to make the cake batter and put it in the oven they started decorating. Which took even more brain cell.
"Ok so if I hold Rich on my shoulders we can hang up the streamers. And then if I walk over to where Jake is we can transfer the small one and he can hang the happy birthday thing."
"Umm guys you could just stand on a chair," Kathrine called from the living room. She really didn't like the sound of a death sentence for Rich.
"Oh you rite. You rite," Rich got off the counter he was standing on to try and mount Jeremy's shoulders. "Still not tall enough for this shit. Yo other tall ass you can do it without standing on a chair."
"Fair." Jake grabbed the streamers and started hanging them up.
Frosting the cake was the least brain cell requiring activity that they had to do.
They put the cake on the table and started Rich and Jeremy started to put the finishing touches on the decorations while Jake went to explain their plan to Kathrine and Anna.
"Ok, this is gonna sound weird. But we've been stealing Micha's hoodies for months now. And it somehow evolved into 'lol you guys gonna steal my house when you've run out of hoodies' so can you two stand outside and pretend like we stole the house?"
"Sure. Come on Kat," Anna dragged her wife out of the house.
"Oh, shit did they go with it?" Jeremy was convinced it wasn't gonna work.
"Yeah, you owe me 5 bucks Jere-bear."
At this point, Michael was gonna be back any minute so Rich was standing guard. "Guys he's coming. Imma go ham up our 'we fucken did it bitch' thing."
"Kay sweet." Jake had only just remembered candles were a thing they bought so he was sticking them in the cake now.
"Umm... why are you two outside?" Michael was low-key concerned that they found out he was going two towns over for drugs and they were gonna ground him for life.
"Oh, Jeremy, Jake, and Rich stole the house," Kathrine didn't look up from her phone and was acting like everything was fine.
"I'm sorry they whAT???"
"Why did you steal my house? Rich, how did you convince Jere and Jake to do this?"
"Gay magic."
"Imma take that as you fucked like no tomorrow but ok."
"Do you wish to come inside the dungeon?"
Michael rolled his eyes. "Sure."
Rich practically ran inside dragging Michael along.
Jeremy was on Jake's shoulders because they were trying to stick streamers to the ceiling and chairs just weren't cutting it. "Ummm.... surprise?" Jake lowered Jeremy onto the counter.
"Happy birthday?"
"This is why I love you guys."
"We made a cake!"
Michael groaned internally. The last time they tried making a cake together they threw a flaming cake out ok the window and into Jake's pool. "Is it crispy?"
"No," they replied in unison.
"Well, it shouldn't be. We researched this time," Rich low-key high-key was hoping that Michael was gonna be proud of them.
"Wow, yall can research? Since when?"
Rich kicked Michael's shin. "Imma fuckin steal them kneecaps bitch. Don't make me."
"Ok, that was uncalled for," Jeremy placed the knife on the table.
"Yeah, I know. I'm sorry baby. Anyways cake."
"OH SHIT WE HAVE TO SET IT ON FIRE FIRST!" Jake grabbed a lighter out of a drawer.
"How about no fire?" Rich awkwardly asked dragging out the word fire.
Jeremy grabbed the lighter out of Jake's hand and yeeted it elsewhere. "Good call."
After cake, they just laid down on the floor in Michael's room and vibed.
Rumor has it that Katherine and Anna are still standing outside their house to this day.
this was a good one
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chloca-cola · 2 years ago
I'm starting to have an m.o. here...all my smut I title in Latin 😂👌 this is my first attempt at this kind of play, so please be forgiving haha
TW: Restraints, sight deprivation. Smut...it's smut.
Word count: 1,415
Ok, leggo!
“You just had to listen to Dante.” Vergil’s tone was condescending as he watched Meande laying, bound like a starfish to his bed, her head following his voice, the black silk covering her eyes. Her arms moved against her restraints. Sure, she knew exactly what had gotten her here, Dante wanted to play a prank on his older brother just to annoy him, and for some unknown reason, Meande thought it would be funny as well. It had been a trivial prank, considering she had psionic powers, and she assumed she’d come off as too precious to incur the wrath of Vergil, yet here she lays from her miscalculations.
    Really, as far as wrath goes, she’s getting off easier than Dante had. Vergil deduced fairly quickly it had been Dante’s idea; Meande moving everything Vergil reached for just out of his grasp with her telekinesis. As soon as the elder twin figured out what was going on, three summon swords impaled Dante in quick succession, causing Dante to roar with laughter, as Meande screamed, never having witnessed Vergil impale Dante so flippantly. She ran towards Dante only to be grabbed by Vergil, her arms pinned to her sides.
    “You’ve been bad, Kitten.” Vergil whispered darkly in her ear, his breath warm as it fanned over her skin, and a shiver ran down her spine. That’s when she ended up here, unable to see, unable to move, unable to teleport, because Vergil knew the flaw in her powers, if she’s grounded, she can’t phase away. Not that the thought even occurred to her, this little game could be fun.
    Meande’s body twitched as she felt Vergil’s hand trail slowly up her inner thigh, his fingers barely ghosting over her core, causing a whimper to escape her, and she fought against her restraints again. His hand vanished, having only been psyching her up so far, letting her imagination fuel her deprivation. He was also fairly certain she hadn’t noticed Dante was here either, Dante's smirk approving at the sight before him, both twins already nude as well.
    Vergil positioned himself between her legs, placing both hands firmly on her hips, before dipping down to teasingly run his tongue along her already slick folds and he chuckled.
    “Already worked up?” He teased her, before flicking his tongue on her swollen clit, her back arching, moaning loudly. The sound quickly turned to a scream when a third hand cupped her breast.
    “What the fuck?” She shouted trying to jerk away as Dante laughed, tweaking her pert nipple playfully, even Vergil smirked as he kissed the area right above her core. “Dante, when did you get here?!”
    “Been here the whole time, babycakes, you just weren’t paying attention.” He explained and her face flushed red.
    “We’re going to play a game. I recommend you do not call out the wrong name.”
    “You think you can tell us by touch alone, Squirt?” Meande gulped down her sudden rush of nervousness, was she that good? She wouldn’t put it past them-especially Dante-to trick her in some way.
    “How long have you two had this planned out?” She inquired, swivelling her head, wanting to convey her glare in some way.
    “Long enough.” Vergil informed her, with a rare tone of humor in his voice. “The only rule is no scenting. That would be too easy.”
    “The prank was all part of the plan.” Of course it was, Meande thought to herself, as she tilted her head, listening for any distinct signs of movement, Vergil was currently on her left and Dante was to her right. But that strategy failed her as the twins stopped talking and shuffled around the bed, upheaving her sense of direction quickly, before they joined her.
    A hand ghosted her throat, causing her to flinch from surprise, but it’s calloused feel was a quick give away.
    “Dante.” She called, confidently, her every nerve ending buzzing with excitement, probably enjoying this game more than she was supposed too. Lips then trailed a line up her rib cage, a warm mouth enveloping her nipple, teasing the pebbled nub with their teeth. She gasped and shuddered at the feeling, trying hard to stay focused to discern which twin it was. “V-Vergil…?” This answer not as confident as her first, and she waited with bated breath, but she was correct as the mouth left her nipple, the cool air of the room almost stinging against the warmth it left.
    A mouth then met hers in a sensual kiss, his mouth opening and closing over her bottom lip before dipping his tongue into her mouth. Tongues battled for dominance as a pair of hands gripped her hips and she whined into the caverns of whichever twins mouth was on hers, wanting to scream that they aren’t playing fair. Warm breath fanned over her slick folds, sending a shiver through her and a finger slid into her tight entrance, curling inside her, causing her hips to buck.
    Meande breathed in deeply through her nose, trying to calm her overwhelmed senses to focus on the finger slowly pumping in and out of her when all touching ceased; the mouth was gone and soon was the finger, and she whimpered unabashedly. Panting, she opened her mouth to sputter out guesses, when a cock thrust into her and a moan escaped her instead.
    “Vergil!” She shouted out, begging she was right, having not taken the time to feel him out.
    “She’s too good at this.” Dante pouted, stroking her cheek with his knuckles, almost seeming like he had wanted to punish her, which sent an entirely new wave of heat through her.
    “She’s yet to guess which of us was kissing her.” Vergil pointed out, languidly thrusting in and out of her, flexing his hips to hit her deep, and her back arched again, causing her restraints to burn against her flesh. She cursed, it was hard for her to concentrate with Vergil inside of her.
    “Ahh...ummm...V-Vergil’s -hn- mouth...Da-ah-nte’s finger.”
    “She had to have cheated!” Dante accused, as Vergil pulled out of her and she cried out loud, rolling her hips.
    “Seems our little Kitten knows us well.” Vergil praised through heavy breaths. Meande then felt hands working deftly to untie her, gently massaging her wrists and ankles, but leaving the blindfold in place. Her hands reached up to untie it herself, but was met with a swift smack to her left hand that stung her more since she didn’t see it coming and she yelped. Clutching her hand to her chest, she pouted.
    “Blindfold stays on, babycakes.” Dante informed her with a mischievous tone.
    “Did you just smack me, Dante?” She accused, turning her head to his voice.
    “Ah, the first time she’s guessed incorrectly.” Vergil teased, her head swiveling towards his voice and Dante chuckled. She should have known that was Vergil. “On your hands and knees.” Vergil commanded her, and she gingerly moved around to do as she was told, hands feeling out her surroundings so she wouldn’t fall off of the bed.
    Once in position, Dante’s big calloused hand smoothed up her spine, as his other hand gripped her hips, those being the only warnings before he thrust into her hard and deep. She screamed out in pleasure, only to be met with Vergil’s cock thrusting into her open mouth, and she gagged on him from sheer surprise alone. With her sight deprived, all other senses were heightened, she could hear every grunt and groan from the twins, every trail their fingers left on her felt like fire on her skin, and she moaned, flattening her tongue on the underside of Vergil’s cock. Her release came fast and hard, moaning loudly on Vergil, sending vibrations through him and in a rare moment, he cursed, hissing through clenched teeth, as he released down her throat. She swallowed around his cock, drawing out another curse. Dante groaned loudly as her walls milked him, bottoming out in her, filling her with his warmth. They both pulled out of her, and she fell limply on the mattress.
    “You know...I dunno which is worse,” Meande began through her panting. “You two fighting against each other or you two working together.” They both chuckled, as Dante swatted her ass, and Vergil finally removed her blindfold, smoothing her bangs out for her. “What would have been my punishment?” She inquired after a small pause, and Vergil smirked darkly.
    “Wouldn’t you like to know.” Came Dante’s teasing reply.
@minteyeddemon *throws blantant smut at you*
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depressed-sock · 3 years ago
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Bad Things Happen Bingo
Original work: Ex: A Villain’s Lament
Hiding an Injury
How about with both Valen and Tara ;)
(Ahhh thank you!!! 〃 ̄ω ̄〃)
Tw: Fire, ask to tag
Tara pov:
 You’re panicking. You know you are but you can’t seem to help it as another burst of energy slams uselessly against your energy shield. Your shield will hold… but for how long? Not long enough for someone to come pull your ass out of the very literal fire that’s spreading fast around you. This was such a stupid mistake. You had done your research and you knew he was too squeaky clean. But you decided to chance it. Now look at where you are. Facing off against an up and coming villain whose head is far too big for his shoulders.
.  “Come on Infection,” he spits your codename out, like just saying it leaves a bad taste in his mouth. You hope it does asshole. “Is this really all you’ve got?”
 “I’m not much of a fighter,” you shrug, a helpless smile on your face. You’re not a fighter. You’ve never been one. You just fix things for the people who can afford you. Maybe even ‘hack’ into things you shouldn’t but you don’t fight heroes or for that matter villains. Especially considering, you are by all technicalities, categorized as a Villain. “Listen, I don’t understand what exactly you're upset about but I’m sure we can-”
 “No,” a single harsh word followed by laughter on his scarred lips. “No. I don’t think you understand this situation.” He steps closer, a cloud of grey, ashen smoke highlighting him. He’s so different from your first encounter, so much more terrifying. You’ve had your share of encounters with heroes and villains alike but this guy… he’s the second one to make you scared.
 Unfortunately for him, the first’s fist was headed straight for his face. “You are going to pay for what he’s done-” The shock and surprise on his face brings your panic back down. Control, the situation is most definitely back under control.
 “Megahertz! He’s powered!” a small warning just to make sure she fully understands the situation. You doubt she needs it though. A mirrored mask, reflecting the world is the only clear thing you can make out. Everything else is a distortion that makes your eyes sting and your brain only register confusion. She’ll keep him busy, maybe even take him down. But just to be on the safe side, you should leave.
 You spread your hand against the shield, watching as red lines spread out from your hand. Your mind working to ‘talk’ to the shield. Talk… just a fancy way to say your mind is as much a machine as the shield is... as anything electronic is. It’s always been that way, so easy to reach out and just ask a machine to work the way you want it too. ‘Infect’ it with your knowledge so it only responds to you. You don’t fix machines for the people. You fix them for yourself and for the sake of the machine.
 The shields power off and you turn to run, only to feel an arm grip around your waist, pulling you with a yank towards the exit. Ice seems to flood your veins until you hear her clearly.
 "Calm down it's just me," voice soft and crystal clear instead of the usual garbled mess you’d hear.
 "Oh...good. ummm why aren't you fighting the guy trying to kill me?" It would have been so much more helpful to just take him out.
 "Tara stop asking questions that have stupid answers," her grip tighten against you pulling you into an alley across the street.
 "Hey-" Your indignant cry cut off as her hand goes over your mouth. You both freeze, watching him stumble from the abandoned shop. He dusts the soot off his suit, eyes trying to find the direction you both went. For a second your eyes meet his, breath catching in your throat as his eyes sweep over you and towards the left down the street.
 He lets out an almost manic laugh with the shake of his head, "Hide all you want. I'll find you no matter where you hide." He turns, back into the building that's quickly becoming consumed in flames.
 "Who the hell is he and why is pissed at you?" Her voice actually sounds worried as she lets go of you turning to block your view towards the street. Her outline becoming clearer and more defined against the background of smoke.
 "Uhhh well, I have no clue what I did buuutt I may have a hunch his grudge has something to do with my father. As for who he is…" you lean to the side watching the building crumble, "I'm about one hundred percent sure that he gave me a fake alias and what do you mean stupid answers?!" Your mind refocuses mid-sentence, immediately realizing you can actually see her.
 No gear… she took him on without gear, "Val?" Your voice breaks as you see the blood dripping through her hand pressed against her side.
 She looks down at it before her dark eyes look back up at you. So much more distant than you remember them being, "Told you it was stupid." Her laugh is weak and her dark skin seems almost ashen.
 "Shit," you grab her helping her as she loses her balance. "Valen you've got to stay awake okay?... oh man I don't know how to fix people," shit. You should have actually studied some basic medical shit or...something. Anything would have been helpful right now.
 Another laugh as she leans heavily against you. Her taller form almost too much for you to handle, "Don't worry. I know someone who can help."
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tea-and-theater · 3 years ago
um this is a school au
ykySo, this is co-written by the lovely @neko-kaiyo, and basically Oc-centric. This is a little different from my usual style, and also features my annoying OC Moon, and Neko’s OC, Nova. so, yeah, this is really sad dark and kinda badly written. 
TW: fights, a few swears, unfair detention/ISS, dogs, flirting, homophobic slurs, vandalizing, refrences to death
School was hell, all the newsies knew this. Teachers, kids, and staff were assholes; the newsies only had each other. So when Moon heard a non-asshole and saw her sitting alone at lunch, she immediately went over and sat next to her, everyone else following behind.
The non-asshole, also known by the name of Nova was sitting alone at her and her best friends’, Happy’s, table.
Keyword being was, then a pale girl with black hair and clothes followed by many other people came to her table.
Honestly, Nova was impassive, not quite sure how to react, not that she could even if she wanted to.
So she looked up from the tiny black and sapphire-blue dog in the blue backpack that sat on her lap and studied each of the new people's faces carefully.
Once deciding she had no reason to talk to these people she looked back down to Happy, with slow almost delayed movements.
The newsies break into various conversations amongst themselves.
“So what's your name sweetheart?” Race asks, on the fence of friendly and flirting.
“Race…” Moon says warningly.
Race puts his hands up in defense. “Hey I’m just being friendly”
“Too friendly.....,” Moon mumbles unamused, “’Sides won't Spotty get jealous?” Moon suggests teasingly.
Race flips Moon off; she gladly returns the gesture.
Nova shrunk into herself and looked down. Though she may have been too nervous as she started squeezing her bag, forgetting about her furry blue companion until he squeaked and yipped.
Nova released her vice grip instantly like she had been burned, hoping no one heard Happy.
“Is that a dog?” Race asks in slight disbelief.
Sarcastic comments answer his question, followed by various cooing noises.
Nova nods and pulls her blue puppy from the equally as the blue bag, and set him on the table. Happy barks and purrs to all the new people.
Everyone starts to grab at him but quickly stop at some of the more respectful people's death glares.
“P-plea-se…” Nova speaks barely above a whisper, “Don't tell anyone else..”
“Don't worry, we ain't gonna turn ya in,” Jack reassures.
Nova merely nods her head; eyes and facial feature void of any and all emotion.
Everyone continues to gush and adore Happy’s tiny, adorable appearance, until two severely dreaded voices butt into the conversation. The Delancey’s.
“Well, well, well...Look what we got here… the little orphans found themselves a new baby orphan....how cute..” Morris snarks rudely.
“So tell me...what did ya name her?” Oscar remarks.
“Fuck off, Delancey.” Race spats, clearly annoyed at the brother’s presence.
Nova swoops Happy off the tables and crushes him lightly to her chest, slightly panicking before going scarily still.
“Oooo I’d watch that mouth of yours, fag,” Morris sneers, “Wouldn't want to get in trouble.”
Race lunges at them but is held back by Moon and Albert.
Nova stays quiet throughout the entire ordeal until the annoyance is too overwhelming. Suddenly a book is flung at Morris's head, coming from none other than Nova.
“Whoa,” Jack breathes in awe, as the hardback hits its target, dead-center.
Oscar helps Morris back on his feet, muttering crossly, “What the fuck..?!” Then he growls lowly, “I wouldn't do that if I were you, ya little bitch.”
Nova sits there, looking down and hiding her face with her hair as she cuddles Happy.
“Doko ka ni itte.. (Go away)” She murmurs with an almost tone of anger.
“She’s even Chinese,” Morris scoffs disgustedly, “Why the hell are you in America?”
Filled with rage, Moon quickly takes down Oscar, and Jack takes down Morris.
Nova looks at the Delancy's indifferently. “It's Japanese, assholes.”
“KELLY! DARE! Stop beating Mr. and Mr.  Delancey immediately!” a loud harsh voice commands.
As the ever-so-feared Snyder walks in, Nova stands up quickly. Bumping into the table in the process, she speaks up the loudest she had so far, which was less than the average volume.  
“It was self-defense.” Nova states.
“Ruthlessly beating fellow students for no reason is not self-defense, little girl.” Snyder construes bitterly.
Nova stares at him emotionlessly, yet her eyes burned with a passion. “They came at us first, so that is a reason.” Nova harshly enounces.
Snyder continues to maintain his unjust claim; his facade of dominance never cracking. “I saw two students ruthlessly beating two other fellow students, I did not see this aforementioned attack, therefore, it never happened.” He insists unfairly, “Anyways these two have a record for doing things just like this.”
Nova stares at Snyder, her patience wearing thin. “Ever think to hear the other side of the story?” Nova retorts hotly.
“I've heard all the sides I need to…” Snyder concludes before looking back to Nova sharply, “Now if I were you I would watch your tongue before you end up like these two.” He gestures to Jack and Moon, “Now, Kelly. Dare. See me after lunch. Delancey's, go see the nurse.”
Morris smirks as he and his brother leave. “I warned ya..”
Nova growls darkly at the Delancey's as they go.
Moon leans into her hand. “First day and I got detention. I’m doing even better than last year,” She smirks sarcastically.
Nova, staring with unexpressed pissed-off-ness, reaches around and grabs Happy, she mutters something to him before placing him down. And he takes off to complete the tasks given; no one notices him nor Nova as she raises her head in the triumph of what she told Happy to do.
Ignoring the newsies’ chatter; Nova wordlessly sits down, pulls out a book, and begins to read as she waits for her loyal blue friend.
Nova had gotten a little way through her book but began to become a bit worried that Happy wasn't back until she saw his signature azure and charcoal fur trotting back to her and he head-butted her leg. She picked him up and tilted her head to him before tucking him safely into her blue bag.
Thankfully, before Snyder came marching into the cafeteria with the rage practically radiating off of him.
“Why is my office vandalized?” he inquires standing in front of the table
“Maybe it’s trying to get rid of you,” Race snarks.
“Higgins, you will be joining your friends later if you don't keep your mouth shut.” Snyder hisses threateningly.
Snyder clears his throat and stands tall. “Now, who vandalized my office?”
“What makes ya think it was us?” Albert asks defensively
Standing with a silent pride, Nova stands straight and looks right into Snyder's eyes. She tilts her head.
“Oh, was that wrong?” She asks innocently.
“Is that a confession?”
Nova blankly stares at him and stands still like a statue, refusing to respond.
“Cat got your tongue?” Snyder asks mockingly.
Nova tilts her head and says only one thing very flatly. “Tyrant..”
“What did you say?” Snyder questions, daring her to say it again.
Nova continues to stare at him like a statue, but leans in and speaks a little louder. “Tyrant...”
“Miss.....?” Snyder trails off, inquiring her last name.
But she stubbornly narrows her eyes and purses her lips; refusing him an answer.
“You will join these two,” Jack and Moon wave at her, “after lunch. This sort of behavior is not tolerated here.” and he walks away.
The sounds of the newsies applauding come from behind Nova.
Race looks at her in awe and praises; “That was amazing!”
Nova turns to the newsies and says simply. “I only called him out for what he is…”
Jack laughs lightly, almost disbelievingly. “Yeah… most people don't do that, you're one of a kind.”
Nova sits back down at the table, looking a the newsies with mild shock. “Really? I was about ready to knock him on his ass.”
“Well… everyone's sorta terrified of him,” Jack clarifies.
Nova purses her lips and mumbles quietly “hm, terrified of someone set off by a puppy... interesting..”
She pulls Happy out of the bag once again and scratches behind his ears
“Good boy, good boy..” Nova cooes to Happy who purrs loudly.
Jack looks at her skeptically. “Ummm.... yeah.... the thing is: he runs detention and ISS and he ain't exactly afraid to get physical,” He explains.
Nova’s eyes give a  far-off look; like she's reliving a bad memory. “I's ain't afraid of being hit anymore... I'm used to it…”
“Ummmm.....you might wanna see someone about that,” Race suggests.
Nova goes back to emotionless and waves her hand dismissively in the air. “It's not like anyone would believe me anyway..”
“I sorta meant therapy, but your choice,” Race drawls.
Nova shrugs then goes back to cuddling Happy and she mumbles very quietly in his fur “.... dead girls ain't got no need for therapy........”
Moon gags slightly from hearing that, causing Albert to shoot her a concerned look, but she waves him off.
The newsies continued their idle conversations and Nova resumed her impassive facade as she played with Happy, until the bell rang. When the ear-splitting sound resounded through the air, Nova scurried away from the table, slinging the zipped up backpack over her back. Then she shot off to Snyder’s office.
Moon wasn't sure what that girl meant when she referred to herself as a dead girl, but she was sure as hell going to find out. After ISS, of course.
Well, that happened. Thanks for reading our stuff! Feedback is appreciated. 
@watersocky -yeah your tag doesnt work 
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artificialqueens · 5 years ago
Pretty Mess Chapter 4 (Biadore)- Chiona
A/N: Hello friends! I’m back with another chapter, this one took my a while to write because I was struggling to find inspiration, but I had a boost of inspiration last night so yay! Once again I’d like to thank my pizza party chola bitch Nore, who isn’t even my BETA anymore, she gives me ideas now ahahaha but she’s still the best BETA!! Also theres some VERY light smut in this chapter, and its my first time writing anything remotely smutty so pls be kind.hope y'all enjoy, xoxo
TW for slight s*lf harm mentions
When Roy returned with Danny’s sweater, he was snuggled under the covers and scrolling through his phone, struggling to keep his eyes open.
“Thanks, bitch” he said, as he took the sweater from Roy. Judging by the way his head spun as he pulled the sweater over his head, he was still very drunk. When everything came back into focus, he noticed that Roy was watching him intently, glued to the spot.
“What?” Danny asked, smirking softly at the sight of Roy’s face deep in thought
“Nothing.” Roy responded hastily, breaking eye contact and turning to close the curtains.
Danny furrowed his eyebrows. There was obviously something wrong, but he just decided to ask him about it in the morning, the warmth of the bed winning over his conscience.
Roy paused at the window. Frankly, he was afraid to ask Danny about the blade. But he had to; what if Danny was unsafe? He couldn’t think of any reason as to why he would have a blade like that in his backpack- it was small and silver, and wouldn’t do much good for protecting himself. And to top it all off, there was blood on it. Roy was distressed at the thought of it, which was exactly why he had to ask.
“Danny?” he started
“Yeah?” he responded sleepily, not opening his eyes.
“Why is there a blade in your backpack?”
This made Danny’s eyes shoot wide open, taken completely by surprise. Holy fuck, what was he going to say? He didn’t want Roy to judge him for self-harming, or even worse become over protective and treat him differently.
“Danny?” Roy pressed, when Danny didn’t respond.
“Oh-” he came back to reality, suddenly out of his bewildered trance “Umm…just for protection, you know, in case anything happens” Danny lied, hoping that Roy wouldn’t ask any further.
“Oh yeah, sure, Danny, the ‘ummm’ made it really convincing” Roy snapped, letting his concern for Danny take control of his temper. Danny flinched.
“There was blood on it” Roy continued, using a softer voice this time.
Roy looked into Danny’s wide green eyes. Even though they were staring right back at him, Roy could tell that he was lost in thought. He could see the worry in his eyes, and Roy instantly felt guilty. He quickly walked over to the bed and knelt down, grasping Danny’s hand and giving it a comforting squeeze.
“Look, I don’t want to force anything out of you, so you don’t have to tell me anything, but… fuck, Danny, I just want to know that you’re safe” Roy’s voice broke, taking the both of them by surprise. Once again, Roy was met with silence.
“Are you safe?” Roy pressed. Danny nodded, blinking away tears. He didn’t want to fucking cry, again.
“You’re okay?”
Danny nodded once more, although this time he hesitated.
“Okay. Now, scoot over, chola, you’re on my side of the bed”
Danny moved over slightly to give Roy some space. But it was short lived, because the still drunk and highly emotional side of Danny wanted to cuddle, moving in closer to press himself up against Roy as soon as he got into the bed. Roy, who was still incredibly anxious and worried for his friend, honestly wanted to push Danny away, but he couldn’t bring himself to. So he wrapped his arms tightly around Danny, watching as the younger man buried his head in his chest.
Danny was shaking with quiet tears, and he really didn’t want Roy to notice them. It was honestly getting ridiculous how much he’d cried in the past few days, and even he was starting to get annoyed with it, so he could only imagine how Roy felt. He was internally screaming at himself to stop crying, and to stop being so clingy towards Roy. But the way Roy wrapped his arms around Danny made him never want to move again.
Roy knew that Danny was trying to hide his tears, and he wasn’t doing a very good job of it. He was shaking, his arms wrapped tightly around Roy’s waist, and every now and then would let out a small sob. Roy bent down and kissed his friend on the head, letting his lips linger there for a while, soothingly rubbing his arm up and down Danny’s back. He had always been the emotional type, but something about this seemed different. Danny was clearly struggling, and Roy couldn’t stand seeing his best friend in this state.
“Hey” Roy said, softly placing his hand on Danny’s chin and lifting up his head. The tears made his green eyes stand out, and Roy quickly shook the thought from his head. Danny sniffed.
“Please don’t cry” Roy continued, wiping away his tears.. Danny bit his lip, and looked up at Roy. Roy brought a hand up to rest on Danny’s shoulder, his heart was beating incredibly quickly. He didn’t know what it was, but in the moment, just looking at Danny made his head spin… Danny’s heart was beating just as fast, looking Roy dead in the eyes, trying to read his expression.
Then, without warning, Roy pulled Danny towards him. Danny thought he was being pulled in for a hug, so he couldn’t contain his shock when he felt Roy’s lips brush softly against his. Danny let out a small gasp, but found himself responding before Roy could pull away, kissing back softly. It was probably the alcohol, but Danny felt as though this was right.
He wrapped his arms around Roy’s waist and pulled him in closer, deepening the kiss. Roy let out a moan, smiling against the kiss, and ran his fingers through Danny’s hair. The both of them were breathing heavily, Danny’s hands exploring Roy’s body as he tugged on his bottom lip. Their tongues worked together, and Danny started to lift Roy’s shirt over his head. They briefly pulled apart so he could take his shirt off before crashing their lips back together again. Danny’s head was spinning; he couldn’t believe this was happening. He was making out with his best friend, and it was heading in the direction of something much more than a make out session. It was all moving so fast, but Danny didn’t care. As quickly as he could, he took off his sweater and t-shirt, fervently kissing Roy once more, wrapping his legs around his waist. Roy could feel that he was hard-they both were. Roy wanted him right now. He grabbed Danny’s ass, pulling him in closer and moving down to kiss his neck. Danny threw his head back, moaning at the sensation. Roy’s hands moved over to the waistband of Danny’s pants, and he began to pull them down.
Danny’s eyes widened, and he quickly pushed away, moving off of Roy’s lap and trying to regain his breath. He couldn’t let Roy see his scars; he was too ashamed of them. But now, he had pulled away, and probably ruined everything. Including his friendship with Roy.
“What’s wrong?” Roy asked. He already knew the answer. He’d gone too far, and now Danny was weirded out.
“I…” Danny started. He didn’t know what to say. Every part of him felt that kissing Roy was so right, and he honestly wanted to tell himself that the scars on his legs could get fucked and keep going. But, when he started to speak again, he found himself lying.
“I can’t do this,” he lied, voice breaking as hot tears streamed down his cheeks “You’re my best friend, and we’ve both been drinking and…I’m sorry” he pulled his t-shirt back on and got out of bed, “I’m just gonna go” Danny turned to walk away, but Roy stopped him.
“Wait, don’t go.” Roy watched Danny pause at the doorway. “It’s dark outside and you’re still a bit drunk. If anything happened to you I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself”.
Danny turned on the spot.
“Well, what do you want me to do then, Roy?” he snapped, letting his frustration get the better of him. Roy was taken aback by his tone.
“The spare room is on the last door to the left” Roy replied softly, left in shock as Danny quickly left the room. What the fuck just happened?
Danny was reeling. After two hours of trying his hardest to distract himself and get some sleep, it was to no avail. Now it was 4:30 am, and he was staring mindlessly at the ceiling. He’d just ruined everything with Roy, possibly even their friendship. Of course he had to pull away and let his issues with self-harm take over another part of his life. Suddenly, he felt his cheeks redden with anger. He was letting the scars on his thighs control his lifestyle, and he was starting to get sick of it. But he couldn’t stop; cutting himself had become a habit, or more like a routine, that he couldn’t quite break. It wasn’t something he necessarily did when he was feeling anxious or in the middle of a breakdown, it was like a regular thing. Most of the time when he did it, he was completely numb. Danny needed to get help. Every logical part of him was telling to get support, and to tell somebody. But his self-destructive behaviours got the best of him and stopped him from doing so. Danny was wrestling with himself, and it was exhausting. But the thing that scared him the most was that if not for his scars, Danny would have had sex with Roy that night. Up until the point that Roy kissed him, Danny had never really thought of Roy in any way other than from a place of friendship. He knew that a lot of fans shipped them together, calling them ‘biadore’, which Danny honestly found hilarious. But Roy kissing him opened his eyes to a lot of feelings that were hiding, and he honestly regretted pulling away from him as soon as he started to get close to his scars, but it was almost like a reflex.
But Danny was certain that there were definitely some feelings there, and wasn’t sure whether it was the alcohol speaking. All he knew that if these feelings were genuine, then he was scared as hell. Not only would he be shamed for having a crush on someone 14 years older than him, but he could potentially ruin things with Roy, someone who he had no choice but to spend a lot of time with.
He just needed to sleep on it, and sober up a bit more. He sighed and rolled over to check the time: 4:57. This was going to be a long fucking night.
Roy was awoken by his phone vibrating on the bedside table. Groaning, he rolled over and picked it up; it was a text from Shane.
Shane: Hey, did Danny go home with you last night? He’s not answering his phone and I just want to make sure he’s okay.
Roy sighed and sat up in bed. What a lovely way to be reminded of the events of the night before. He tried his hardest to shake the thought from his mind.
Roy: Yeah, he did. I just woke up though, not sure if he’s still here, I’ll go check. How did your trade go last night?
He tried to steer the conversation away from Danny, and got out of bed, stomping over to the spare room. Danny wasn’t in there, and the bed was messy and unmade. He’d obviously hadn’t slept very well. Roy noticed a piece of paper on the end of the bed, so he went to pick it up. It was a note from Danny, written in his messy scrawl.
I had to go. I promise we’ll catch up soon and talk about shit, I haven’t forgotten about that coffee you owe me, bitch.
xx Danny
Roy’s heart skipped a beat at the sight of the two little kisses that Danny had left written at the end of the note. Maybe Danny wasn’t weirded out about what happened last night? He quickly texted Shane to let him know that Danny had left, and went into the kitchen.
His eyes widened at the realisation that he’d forgotten to feed Sammy and DeDe the night before, so he quickly grabbed the food from the cupboard and went outside. The dogs didn’t come running to him like they normally would, and he furrowed his brows. His expression softened, however, when he saw where the dogs were. Sammy was curled up on a sleeping Danny’s lap, and DeDe was under his arm. Danny must have gone out for a cigarette and fallen asleep outside. Roy’s heart warmed; he just looked so peaceful. How was it possible that someone could look so beautiful sleeping?
The dogs perked up at the sight of Roy and jumped off of Danny’s lap, running towards Roy and barking.
“Shh…” he scolded, not wanted them to wake Danny up. It was too late, thought. Danny’s eyes flickered open, squinting in the sunlight.
“Morning” Roy greeted blankly, scraping some food into the dog’s bowls.
“Shit, sorry, I didn’t mean to fall asleep out here” Danny apologised, rubbing his eyes.
“It’s okay”
Danny stood up and brushed himself off, slipping his carton of cigarettes back into his pocket.
“I should go” he announced, grabbing his bag. Roy followed him inside, and found himself walking Danny to the door.
“Look, about last night…” he started. Danny stared down at him, making Roy’s breathing heavy “Let’s just pretend it never happened, okay? We were both drunk and neither of us were really thinking straight”
Roy could have sworn a look of disappointment flash across Danny’s face.
“Yeah, ok” Danny nodded. They were met with an uncomfortable silence.
“I’ll see you soon, chola” Roy stated, not expecting it when Danny pulled him in for a hug.
“Bye, Roy” Danny said hoarsely, holding onto him tightly.
And then he was gone.
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awkwarddezzy · 5 years ago
Pairing: Dan x Phil
Genre: friendship, romance, slight angst
TW: swearing, mentions of alcohol
Word count: 7,494
Summary: Hawaii: the state everyone knows as paradise. For Dan Howell, the label is far from what his life is truly like. When Phil transfers to Dan’s high school from Manchester, the two boys instantly become friends. But will the revelation of Dan’s hidden past affect their budding friendship? Phan HS AU.
Hey ya’ll! This is technically my first fanfic posting of 2017, although I already had this written back in 2016. I mentioned a handful of times in tags for my shitposting that I wrote a Phan-inspired story as part of my short story portfolio for my creative writing class last semester. I submitted said story for possible publication at my college’s local journal, so cross your fingers with me that it’ll make the cut. I mean, can you imagine a phanfic legitimately bring published?
My professor absolutely loved the story. Even though it was over the word limit (she set it as 4,000), she told me she didn’t mind the word count as long as the plot was good. Needless to say, I got an A on it. Hell, when we had to type an analysis about our stories, I specifically mentioned being inspired by Dan and Phil and how homogenous relationships are often undermined in young adult literature.
I’m proud of this baby. Aside from character names (because I didn’t wanna plagiarize), this is nearly word for word of that story. I guarantee this is different than any phanfics ever to exist. One, because the setting is in Hawaii (our professor gave us extra credit if we tied our story to Hawaii in some way since I do go to a community college in Oahu). Two, to make it personal, I made my Dan-inspired character Filipino (because I’m Filipino myself) and kept my Phil-inspired character British. In short, this is my story using the YouTubers I had in mind while writing the story. It’s basically a high school AU, which I’m used to writing when it comes to AU’s.
I finally got around to posting this in light of Phil’s birthday. I CAN’T BELIEVE OUR BELOVED ANGEL BEAN IS FINALLY 30. *screams* He’s getting old. We’re getting old. Jesus Christ, Phil’s finally reached the age of parenthood. It’s only a matter of time when we see Phil Jr’s walking around England lol.
Now on with the story!
~*~ ~*~ ~*~
When people use fire as a metaphor for love, I roll my eyes and silently think these people are delirious. They think love is a burning passion they allow themselves to consume them completely. Or they think love is a spontaneous combustion when two pairs of eyes are caught in a lingering stare for the first time. But those are the fools talking. Those people are blind to what fire really means.
Fire is despising the source of its ignition.
Fire is a glow you believed had completely faded, yet still remained raging within you.
Fire is a curse and a traitor, yet also a blessing and a helping hand.
Fire is what makes me fluctuate between being a dreamer and a realist.
He’s a needle in a haystack with his raven hair, cerulean eyes, and pale skin. The cafeteria is swarming with incoherent conversations between students coming in and out of the stuffy building. I stand stock still, lunch tray in hand, debating whether or not I should go talk to him.
My feet move toward the boy with no hesitation. He stares intently at me when I place my lunch tray on the table’s wooden surface and sit on the benched seat across from him.
We remain silent for several seconds before I blurt out, “I like your shirt.” He’s wearing a white t-shirt embedded with lyrics from a Panic at the Disco song.
“You like PATD?” His voice carries a heavy British accent.
“One of my favorite bands.”
A corner of his mouth curves slightly upward. “What other bands are you into?”
“Ummm… Fall Out Boy, My Chemical Romance, All Time Low, Breaking Benjamin, Muse-”
“Whoa there. What are you, some Asian clone of me?”
I chuckle. “No, but that would be pretty epic.”
He grins. “You’re the first person I’ve ever met who know Muse.”
Warmth seeps to my cheeks. “They’re one of the first bands I got into. I have a soft spot for their Origins of Symmetry album.”
“No way! That’s my favorite album too.”
I beam. Going to meet up with my friends doesn’t seem like a priority anymore. “So how come I’ve never seen you around?”
He picks up a carrot stick, dipping it into the blob of ranch dressing on the top right corner of his lunch tray, then taking a bite out of it. “I moved here from Manchester a couple weeks ago. You know, for a place where everyone want to vacation, it’s way different when you’re actually living there.”
“That’s paradise for ya. Tourists get beaches, fine accommodations, and hot hula girls. Locals get Pidgin, spam musubi, and a complex bus system.”
“I’m out of my element here.”
“You’ll learn to adjust.”
He finishes the rest of the carrot stick. “I’m Phillip by the way, but you can call me Phil.”
“Phil… got it.”
“Uh-huh. My entire first name makes me sound like a grandpa.”
I laugh. “You’re gonna be a grandpa someday anyway.”
“Hey, I’m still young! Lemme enjoy my teen years while I can.”
“Sure, Phillip.”
He sticks his tongue out to me playfully. “And what should I call you, Phil 2.0?”
“Well Mr. PATD, you can call me Dan. It’s short for Daniel.”
“Dan.” My name rolls off his lips in a way that sounds as if he has known me for years rather than a few minutes. “It’s nice to meet you.”
Perhaps the school year won’t be as boring as I thought it would be.
Sam, Louise, and PJ bombard Phil with questions when I introduce him to them after school that same day.
“What’s England like?”
“How do you like Oahu so far?”
“Have you tried a malasada yet?”
“What do you think about our school?”
“Why did you move here?”
“Have you ever met Emma Watson?”
“Guys! Geez, calm your tits.” I look toward Phil apologetically. “Sorry. We don’t get to meet a lot of new students who come from outside the island.”
“It’s okay.” Phil smiles shyly at my friends. “No one’s really tried to talk to me for more than two minutes till Dan approached me. I was afraid I’d be a loner for the entire year.”
PJ whistles. “Damn, Daniel. What happened to being antisocial?”
“I prefer the term introvert,” I retort.
“You haven’t made the first move in anything since you told Sam how you felt about her,” Louise says.
Phil glances between Sam and me. “You two are boyfriend and girlfriend?”
Sam loops her arm around my elbow, pressing her chest against the side of my body. “As of a couple weeks ago, yes.”
“I didn’t know that,” Phil says, giving me a scrutinizing gaze.
I rub the back of my head. “I thought it wasn’t important to mention until you got to meet my friends in person.”
“Ah.” He nods in understanding, but I detect a hint of a different emotion in his eyes. Disappointment? Disapproval? I internally shake my head. It’s probably my usual paranoia of students’ judgments whenever they see Sam and I together. Even though Sam has been my best friend for years, anyone outside my circle of friends haven’t fully comprehend why Sam prefers to be around PJ, Louise, and I. Her near flawless looks makes her more fitting for the popular crowd rather than the nerdy emo’s.
“Well then,” Louise chimes in, shoving my momentary doubts out of my head. “Who want to go to Starbucks?”
Phil gives me a tour of his house the weekend following the first week back to school. The moment I step inside the Lester residence, I’m astonished by how lively his home is compared to mine. There are houseplants in practically every corner of the house. Polaroid photos of his family are tacked to the walls of the living room. Upstairs, in Phil’s bedroom, he has various plushies littering the floor, a full-length poster of Sarah Michelle Geller on the wall behind his bed, and even a tiny cactus displayed on his bedside drawer. His twin-sized bed is covered with a green, blue, and purple checkered bedsheet, shades I think is fitting to his colorful personality.
“Sorry it’s a little messy in here,” Phil says. “I have a lot of stuff and my new room’s not as big as my old one in Manchester.”
“It’s fine. My room’s a bit messy too.”
He smiles, picking up a Totoro plushie and dropping it on his bed. “So what’s your flat like?”
“Oh.” Reminder: start learning some British slang. “Not as great as yours. Roaches creeping on the floor at night. Shitty air conditioning. Noisy ass neighbors. At least my mom makes enough as a nurse to keep a roof over my head.”
“What about your dad?”
“He’s… gone.”
He frowns. “Sorry to hear that.”
I respond with a curt nod. “But you’re free to come over next weekend if you want.”
His frown disappears, morphing back to the smile that he wore earlier. “That’ll be great.”
If only you knew just how much I miss him, I think. And hate him at the same time.
There’s a paper bag from Bath and Body Works on Phil’s bedroom floor when I stay over at the Lesters on a Saturday night in mid-October. I’ve been spending most of the weekend so far doing homework and catching up with episodes of Attack on Titan and JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure. Sam and Louise are busy rehearsing for a PowerPoint presentation for their Modern Hawaiian History class and PJ is helping his family prepare for his cousin’s debutante, so I’ve been spending the time outside of my apartment hanging out with Phil.
“What’s with the bag?” I ask.
“Oh this?” He picks up the paper bag and empties its contents, revealing three candles and a bottle of lotion. “Mum went to Pearlridge today, so I asked her to buy these for me.”
I scan over the candle labels: Pumpkin Spice, Apple Pie, and Marshmallow Fireside. “Never pegged you for a candle person.”
“It’s a thing that runs in my family.” He picks up one of the candles. “In their uni years, my dad confessed his feelings for my mum by spelling out ‘I love you’ with candles at a beach in Liverpool. Mum loved the gesture so much, and since then, Dad’s been getting her candles on every anniversary.”
“Your dad sounds like a complete romantic.”
He nods, placing the candle on his bed. “I think candles are an excellent representation of my parents’ marriage. Their love is a candle with a flame that’ll never die.”
“They must be really happy together.”
“Twenty years and still going strong.”
Bittersweet memories of my mom, dad, my 10-year-old brother Adrian, and me surface in my mind. Thanksgivings when my dad splurged on the turkey special from Golden Coin. Christmases when we woke up at 7 AM to open gifts while watching the Macy’s Christmas Day parade. Birthdays celebrated with dinners at Max’s Restaurant. Those days are a lifetime ago, days when I still looked forward to Sundays when Dad was off from work and gave me guitar lessons.
“Yeah…” Those days are a thing of the past. On the bright side, having an absent father taught me not to be naïve and fueled my appreciation for rock music.
As if sensing my distress, Phil says, “So… wanna play some Smash Bros?”
I grin. Crushing him in one of my video games is a healthy distraction I need from my vortex of childhood memories. “I’d be stupid not to.”
When Sam suggests for me to perform for the winter pep rally, the fears I buried when I started dating her crash through my mind like a wrecking ball.
“You’re kidding,” I say in a monotone voice. We’re on my bed, Sam laying down with her dyed dirty blonde hair fanned across my Pikachu pillow and me sitting cross-legged with my guitar settled on my lap. I was in the middle of playing “Chasing Cars” by Snow Patrol when Sam casually brought up the question.
“I’m not.” She moves into an upright position. “Think about it. Five minutes on stage with hundreds of students cheering your name. Phil, Peej, and Lou know how talented you are. Don’t you think it’s about time to let the entire school know too?”
She sighs. “It’s your dad, isn’t it? Danny, just because your dad was a musician doesn’t mean you’ll make the same choices he did. Besides, if being at the center of attention isn’t for you, then the pep rally can be a one-time thing. Don’t let your potential go to waste.”
I bite the inside of my mouth. A part of me is itching to live out my dream of capturing people’s souls while I perform, but the other part of me is trembling at the thought of being in my dad’s shoes. Going through with this could open up a possibility of Sam and me splitting apart.
I can’t lose Sam. Even if she isn’t my girlfriend, I can’t imagine a future without her. The Earth can be a cruel planet; I can’t navigate through it without having someone who’s equally as confused about the world as I am by my side.
She curls her arms around my neck. “I know you’re scared, but can you do it for me? For one day, can I pretend to be your rock star girlfriend sitting in the audience as you play a song dedicated to me?”
“What song do you have in mind?”
“Hmmm… a song probably everyone knows, but still fits your style.”
“So… something from Ed Sheeran, Sam Smith, or Bruno Mars?”
“Yeah!” She stares at me with her puppy-dog eyes. “So will you do it?”
One pep rally won’t be the death of you. “I’ll… give it a shot.”
She squeals, peppering the side of my face with kisses. “Thank you thank you thank you! You’re gonna be great, Danny. Show those Mariah Carey wannabees that serenading isn’t dead yet.”
I laugh. Maybe this won’t be so bad after all.
Nerves rattle through my body when the student announcers call my name. The audience claps as I make my way onto the platform of the makeshift stage. Standing in front of the microphone stand with the Velcro strap holding my guitar against my abdomen, I position my fingers above the instrument’s strings. Looking out into the crowd, I spot Sam, Phil, PJ, and Louise grinning enthusiastically at me.
You’ll be fine. They’ll be proud of me no matter what happens.
I strum the opening notes of “Give Me Love” by Ed Sheeran. When I start to sing, my pre-performance jitters dissipates. I let my hands do the playing and the lyrics do the talking. I lose myself to the symphonious tune of the song, my heart beating rhythmically like a pendulum. Thoughts about my dad are knocked out of my head, replaced with a surge of joy as I think, Why didn’t I answer to the spotlight’s call sooner?
The gym fills with applause once my performance ends. My friends are on their feet, along with dozens of other juniors, upperclassmen, and even underclassmen.
I beam from ear to ear.
I’ve never felt so alive.
Hip-hop music pulsates across the spacious area of Chris Kendall’s house. Bodies grind on the open area of the living room where furniture was shoved aside to make room for a dance floor. Parties are definitely never on my agenda. I’m only here at Chris’s graduation party because PJ wanted to go for fun (it was an open invite), Sam and Louise wanted to go to have the full high school experience, and Phil wanted to see if a high school party in Hawaii is any different than the few he went to when he lived in England. Before my performance during the winter pep rally, I was someone that no one spared a second glance. Five months later and two more performances from the spring pep rally and junior prom under my belt, I get hellos from random students in-between class periods and invites to parties from popular students. So here I am, a red plastic cup filled with Pepsi in my hand (I have my values and know better than to take one sip of alcohol) while watching my friends dancing, breathing through my mouth to avoid sniffing the sickly scent of weed and cigarettes.
“Dan!” Phil stumbles out of the kitchen holding an empty Heineken bottle.
“Hey… Phil.” I finish the rest of my drink and toss the cup into one of the trash bags lying around next to the snack table. “You look like you’re having fun.”
“I am! Aren’t you?”
“If by watching people shamelessly doing things they might regret in the morning, sure.”
“Aw. Lighten up, mate!” His palm slaps the back of my shoulder. “Want me to get you a bottle?”
“I’ll pass… wait, how much have you had to drink?”
“Eh, couple bottles I think. Might go for a third.”
“No you aren’t.” I grab his wrist and drag him to the front door. When we’re outside, I lead him to the backyard. I don’t want to haul an intoxicated Phil back to his house. Perhaps some fresh air can sober him up.
I lay him down on his back on the grass, then sit down next to him. His mouth forms into a lazy smile.
“You look pretty, Dan.”
I laugh. “I’m not a girl, dude.”
“What a shame. You’d be my perfect Buffy.”
“You and your Buffy obsession.”
“Yeah… but I love you more than Buffy.”
My blood goes cold. He isn’t saying what I think he’s saying, is he?
Phil takes my silence as a sign for him to continue. “Why did I meet a perfect guy who’s taken? You’re so smart and talented and so good at video games. I had so much hope the first time we met that we could someday be something more, then I find out you have a girlfriend and I had to learn how to just be friends with an impossible dream.” He sighs. “Why did it have to be you I fell in love with?”
Suddenly, he takes a fistful of my shirt and yanks me down onto him. I fall on top of him, my face inches away from his.
“I… love you,” he mumbles before his eyelids flutter close.
I roll myself off from his body, then scramble to sit up and scoot away from him. Heat rushes to my face, my own body quivering from his words.
“Holy shit,” I whisper.
I touch my lips. He may not have kissed me, but his words feel like he did.
~:~ One week has passed since Chris’s party.
There’s no one I can tell about Phil’s drunk confession. He has no recollection of what he told me, and I have no clue if what he said is true. There’s a likelihood it isn’t. People can say all sorts of unpredictable things when they’re shitfaced drunk and not mean any of it.
Yeah right. No one says “I love you” to me without being serious.
“Fancy playing Mario Kart while we wait for the others?” Phil asks. We’re sitting on the sofa in my living room, waiting for Sam, Louise, and PJ to arrive. The five of us aren’t in the mood of going out today, so we planned a casual indoor hangout in my apartment.
“Sure,” I reply. “I’ll go get us some drinks.”
“Grab me an iced tea, yeah?”
I smile. After living in Oahu for nearly a year, Phil gradually got himself addicted to Hawaiian Sun drinks. “You’re in luck. Mom bought a fresh stock just for you.”
I leave Phil to peruse my video game collection under the TV stand and head to the kitchen. I open the refrigerator door and grab two cans of Hawaiian Sun: an Iced Tea for Phil and a Lilikoi for me. Carrying the cans back into the living room, I’m putting the two drinks on the coffee table when I hear three knocks on the door.
That bus ride was quick. I dash to the front door. Upon unlocking it, the face that greets me is one I least expect to see.
“Daniel.” The way he speaks my name has the familiar tenderness that would gravitate me into his arms when I was in elementary school. But hearing his voice now is a thousand needles stabbing at my heart all at once. My lungs shrivel at the pain scorching my chest.
I can’t breathe. My vision is blurring from months of pent-up resentment. Not knowing what to do, I back away and rush to my bedroom, slamming the door behind me. I collapse on the floor and bury my fingers in my hair. This cannot be happening to me.
A few minutes later, I hear the door swing open.
“Mate!” Phil kneels down in front of me, his face contorted into a concerned expression. “You look like rubbish.”
“No shit.”
“That guy at the door told me he’s your father. Is it true?”
I remove my hands from my head. How he could be staying so goddamn calm? He should be furious at me for lying to him, not composed and acting like I didn’t drop a bomb on him.
“He is,” I whisper.
“You said he was gone.” “He was, but he may as well be dead to me.”
“Why? What did he do to you?”
I swallow my anger threatening to rise again. “He left me, alright? He left my family for some woman named Erica he met on the streets while we were on vacation for the summer in the Philippines when I was nine. They were contacting each other behind our backs after we left and Mom caught ‘em together at Ala Moana a year later when Erica came to visit him. Mom and Dad ended up getting divorced the summer before I was in 7th grade, just shy of my 12th birthday. He left for the Philippines afterward and he’s been living there with Erica since.”
Phil doesn’t immediately respond, just staring at me in shock. I use his silence to continue my rant.
“Music is important to me because of my dad. He played all sorts of gigs when he was my age, but gave up his musician dream so he could support my mom when she was pregnant with me. He taught me how to play a guitar and got me into rock music when he told me rock is music in its rawest form.” I direct my attention to the vinyl cover of Muse’s Origins of Symmetry album nailed next to the window. “Dad’s the reason why I love that album. He bought it for me on my 7th birthday. I listened to that record on repeat after the divorce and was what got me through the first few year without him.”
“And you hadn’t seen him since the divorce,” Phil concludes.
I shake my head. “He came once during the holidays when I was in 9th grade. I pretty much avoided talking to him the whole time.”
The wake of a wildfire is outside of my bedroom. He’s the cause of why my family is a mess. He chose another woman over us. How can I forgive the man who destroyed my picture-perfect family? How can I let go of the hurt I’m still feeling four years later?
“I don’t blame you for not telling me,” Phil says.
I turn my head to look at Phil, vulnerability running through my veins. “I’m a horrible person. I should’ve told you a long time ago, but I kept it a secret because I didn’t want you to know how crappy my life really is.”
“Again, not blaming you.” He drapes his arm across my shoulders. “I get that you felt betrayed by your dad, and nothing can erase the pain you still feel. But he’s out there right now. He flew whatever miles it is from the Philippines to Hawaii to see you. Nothing’s hunky-dory between you two, but you can still fix things with him. I saw how crushed he looked when you ran off on him like that. He wants to make things right. I’m not saying you should outright forgive him, but I think you should give him a second chance. Let him be a father to you while he still has healthy lungs and isn’t in a wheelchair.”
I look into his eyes, his blue orbs looking back at me with a softness that douses my anger away. As tension rolls off my shoulders, the memory of his drunk confession flashes through my mind.
“Why did it have to be you I fell in love with?”
Did Dad or Erica ever speak the exact same sentence to each other at one point in their relationship? What was it about Erica that drew my dad to him? How did Dad know he loved Erica more than my mom? I don’t know the answer to those questions. I don’t know why Mom didn’t fight for her right to remain as Dad’s wife. I don’t know how Erica’s family reacted when they learned about her relationship with a married man. I don’t know much about their relationship, other than how they met and how they loved each other to a point of sacrificing their family’s trust to be with each other.
The clarity hits me like a curveball.
Love is an emotion that can’t be tamed. It can blind us, be an intense slap to the face, hurt us in any way possible, but it can never leave us completely empty. It’s why I’m still affected by my dad’s choices. It’s why I still prefer rock over any other genre of music, even when it was Dad’s preferred music style. It’s why there’s still fire raging inside me whenever I think about Dad. I still love him amidst the ache he imprinted in my heart. It’s why, as I gaze into Phil’s vibrant eyes that always seem to contain a gentleness I usually don’t see in males, I finally understand what I’ve been fearing all along. I wasn’t afraid of thinking about the past and making the same wrong choices as my dad; I was afraid of listening to the other side of a story and discovering things that may have been right in front of me all along.
“Go talk to him,” he murmurs, drawing his arm away from me. The loss of his friendly touch leaves a dull ache in my chest.
It’s time to face the music.
“Mind if you come with me?”
“Of course. Did you think I was planning to let you face him alone?”
Fireflies stir in my stomach. Once I deal with the person outside this room, I’ll think about what these fireflies mean. I don’t know why the fireflies popped up unexpectedly, but I sort of like it.
Phil helps me stand, staying close to me as I open the door. We walk into the living room, where I find Dad sitting on the sofa. I take a deep breath, my hand taking purchase on Phil’s arm. His presence is my gravity, helping me to control negativity in my emotions. If I’m going to make an effort to patch things up, I can’t go berserk if I feel the slightest agitation.
I hear his breath hitch when he turns his head to the direction of my voice. Same dark chocolate eyes. Same unruly brunette hair. Same mole marked on the ridge of his nose. I’m looking at an older version of myself, albeit as someone wiser that has seen more of the world. That, and I can’t stand my natural messy hair. I can’t leave the house without using my hair straightener.
“Anak,” he says softly.
The fireflies glow for a brief second.
“It’s okay,” Phil whispers. “He’s not going to hurt you.”
Dad glances toward Phil. “This is your friend, right?”
Phil gives an awkward wave at Dad. “Hi. Sorry I didn’t properly introduce myself earlier. I’m Phillip, Phil for short.”
“Phil … it’s nice to meet you.”
“Pleasure to make your acquaintance, Mr. Howell.”
I can’t help the low chuckle that escapes my lips. “This isn’t Pride and Prejudice, dude.”
Phil laughs. “What? This is a momentous occasion, Dan. This is more nerve-wracking than making a first impression to my girlfriend’s parents.”
“You never even had a girlfriend.”
“I will one day.”
For some reason, I’m a bit upset by his response. So did his drunk confession mean nothing? Or is he making an Oscar-worthy ruse to cover up his feelings? My effort to analyze his emotions is only confusing me further.
Dad clears his throat. Right. Dad first, Phil later.
“Anyway-” I say, “Dad, what are you doing here all of a sudden? If you’re looking for Mom, she won’t be home from work till around six.”
“I’m aware of that. I actually wanted to talk to you first, if it’s okay,” Dad replies.
“Fine, but Phil stays with us.”
“I see no problem with that.”
Phil and I make our way over to the sofa, my hand still on Phil’s arm. Dad moves to give us room, leaving me to sit in the middle so Dad is to my left and Phil is to my right.
“Where’s Erica?” I begin.
Dad shakes his head. “I asked her to come, but she thought it would be best for me to be here alone.”
“How long will you stay?”
“A week, two weeks at the most.”
“Dad…” I move my hand from Phil’s arm to his jean-covered thigh. “Ummm… this might sound out of the blue, but how did you know you were in love with Erica?”
“Oh… to be honest, Jessica was the reason why,” he tells me sheepishly.
“Mom?” I say incredulously. “But… how?”
He smiles, leaning back on the sofa. “In many ways, Erica is a lot like your mother. She put her studies first, cared about her family more than anything else, and worked hard to give herself a good future. She became an attorney to provide for her family, and she cherishes her job so much, though she told me more than once she felt she was missing something from her life. She didn’t know what it was until she reunited with her childhood friend.”
“Who was that?”
“Your mother.”
“Wait… what? I thought Mom and Erica were strangers until you got together with Erica.”
“Your mother and I only said that because we thought you weren’t ready for the truth.”
“Dad! I was 11! I watched enough episodes of Maalala Mo Kaya to know what reality is about.”
He looks at me forlornly. “I know that now, anak. I’m sorry.”
I sigh. “I’m turning 17 next week. Whatever secret you’re keeping from me, I wanna hear it.”
He nods. The story he tells me drastically alters my perspective of Dad.
Mom and Erica knew each other because they were best friends when they were kids and lost touch with each other after Mom immigrated from Cebu to Honolulu when she was eight.
Dad courted Erica in high school. When he got accepted into an exchange program for the University of Hawaii in Manoa, he made a promise with Erica to go on a date with her once he graduated from college and moved back home.
During his third year at UH Manoa, he met Mom during an open mic night at a bar in Waikiki. Mom was in UH Manoa’s nursing program and skipped a night of studying to hang out with her friends at the bar that Dad had his gig at.
Mom and Dad became friends, which gradually turned into love.
Dad was guilty about breaking his promise to Erica, but Erica understood and she wished the best for him and Mom.
Parenthood treated Mom and Dad well when they had me and Adrian.
Then came the Philippine vacation.
Dad hadn’t communicated with Erica since he told her about his relationship with Mom, so he was surprised when he bumped into her at a Chow King restaurant while buying lunch for Mom, Adrian, and me. They exchanged phone numbers and used long-distance phone-lines for communication over the course of a year, where they found themselves revisiting their past and falling in love with each other all over again.
During winter break of my 5th grade year, Erica lied to her parents about wanting to spend Christmas and New Years with a friend in America so she could see Dad, even if it was just for a few days and a majority of her time would be spent cooped up in her hotel room at Ala Moana Hotel. On that fateful day when Mom saw Dad and Erica together, she was at Ala Moana Shopping Center to do some last-minute shopping while she supposedly thought Dad was helping my Tito Kevin pick out a gift for my Aunt Elizabeth. As soon as Mom exited from Macy’s, she witnessed Dad and Erica holding hands while sitting at one of the tables outside the neighboring Starbucks. Erica saw Mom and that was when all hell broke loose. Mom tried not to cause a scene at Ala Moana, but she had a crying fit when she learned that Dad’s mistress and her childhood friend, Erica Bautista, were the same woman.
That night, when I overheard my parents arguing but Mom told us she and Dad were disagreeing on something about bills, it was really about Mom’s reaction to finding out about the affair.
For months, they kept the issue a secret from Adrian and me. Mom swallowed her pride, staying in the sidelines as she encouraged Dad to go after his true love. The issue loomed like a raincloud over their heads once Dad chose Erica over Mom, and that raincloud lingered until Mom and Dad finally told me about Erica and their mutual decision to file for divorce.
Unfortunately, that raincloud only transferred over me, towering over my own head and remaining there to this day.
“Damn” is all I can say when Dad finishes speaking.
The pieces are coming together.
It was never supposed to be Mom and Dad.
If Dad never met Mom, it would have been Dad and Erica.
It’s a classic case of how wrong timing can affect even the strongest of relationships.
“Fucking hell,” Phil breathes. Hearing him swear surprises me. He rarely swears, and when he does, it’s when he’s incredibly emotional about something.
“I didn’t tell you this because I thought you might dislike Erica more if I told you the truth,” Dad tells me.
Everything coming out of Dad’s mouth sheds more authenticity to the entire situation. All this time, Dad was never at fault. It wasn’t his fault that Mom was an intervention who prevented him from keeping his promise to Erica. It wasn’t his fault for reaching a point where he had to choose between his wife and kids over a woman his heart subconsciously still yearned for. It wasn’t his fault for allowing his heart to direct him down a path that led him to hurt those he cared about. Everything happens for a reason, and it’s the reason why I’m existing in the first place. If his life went according to plan, I wouldn’t have ever taken my first breath in this world.
Love isn’t always kind. It isn’t an easy stroll through the park or a cookie to steal from a cookie jar. It’s having to pay 75 cents for a gumball from one of those machines in supermarkets or trying to find parking during Black Friday at any mall. Love always comes with a price. For Dad, the price for his happiness with one woman is the trust he has from those he loves the most.
“That was a possibility,” I say. “Or I could’ve appreciated her role in your life. We’ll never know. Either way, it wouldn’t have changed how much you love Erica.”
Dad nods in agreement. “Erica hasn’t changed how much I love you, Adrian, and your Mom. It was wrong of me to leave you how I did, but I’m here to right my wrong.”
The fire in my chest blazes more furiously than it ever has before. Flames send the fireflies in my stomach glimmering in a flurry of excitement, sending my emotions in a tailspin.
“I’m sorry I haven’t been a good father ever since I moved to the Philippines,” Dad continues. “It wasn’t my intention for you to think I didn’t care about you anymore, but it was my way to give you space. You were angry at me, and I believed distance was the solution to ease your anger. When you refused to speak to me when I spent Christmas with you on your first year of high school, I realized the distance led you to resent me more. I don’t want to hurt you anymore, anak. I’m tired of being away from you. My life may be in the Philippines, but my heart belongs here with our family.”
My insides melt. These are the words I longed to hear Dad say. I’d be a fool if I ignored my subconscious whispering how I should stop being hostile and allow my dad to make up for lost time.
“Did you steal that line from a Justin Bieber song?” I joke.
Hope swims in Dad’s eyes. “So you forgive me?”
“Not… exactly,” I answer hesitantly. “But we have two weeks. We can go around the island like we used to.”
I’m not looking at the enemy anymore. For the first time in years, I���m looking at my idol, the man who rooted my dedication to music, the greatest hero I’ve ever known.
A smile cracks on Dad’s face. “Your old man is looking forward to that.”
Summers brings goodbyes, hope, and refreshing starts. Four years ago, summer was bidding a reluctant farewell to the perfect family I had. One year ago, summer was sharing my first kiss with a girl who meant more to me than my best friend. This summer, a new chapter with a man I granted a second shot at redemption opened up, and an opportunity to follow my heart like every protagonist in a cheesy YA novel is ushering in a wave of anticipation of what the vast unknown will bring.
The sky is enveloped by a murky blanket of gleaming stars and a moon illuminating the night. Sitting cross-legged on the rooftop of my apartment complex, I fish out another roll of Smarties from my jacket pocket. I unravel the plastic packaging and shove pieces of the colorful candy into my mouth, savoring its sweet, tangy mixture. Aside from the occasional car zooming along the streets at midnight, I relish the relative silence. My mind is still reeling over all the things that occurred since Dad showed up at the front door of my apartment.
The two weeks that Dad was here was a hodgepodge of family beach trips and father-son visits to various music stores around the island. He shared tales of his life with Erica in Manila, and in return, I shared my memories about Sam and my friends over the last four years. Those two weeks were us being mismatched pieces slowly fusing together to create the complete puzzle, with several holes that are yet to be filled. By the time he flew back to the Philippines, I was closer to the point of one hundred percent forgiving him. It’ll take me months before I can truly move on from the past, but I’m getting there. Time will tell when that day will come.
After Dad left, I took the time to figure out my feelings for Sam and Phil. Before I met Phil, I thought Sam was my endgame. I saw a future with her after high school. I visualized the two of us moving in together, having a beachside wedding, honeymooning in Paris, and raising our kids with our brown or black hair and brown eyes. But after Chris’s party and the long conversation I had with Dad, I questioned where my heart belonged. Sam was everything a boy could ever want for a girlfriend, someone who Mom was ecstatic about someday watching me say “I do” to, someone who filled that empty void when Dad left. Phil, on the other hand, was everything I never knew existed as an option for me, someone who enamored me since day one and opened up parts of me that I never showed to anyone aside from Sam, PJ, and Louise, someone who was the reason why I willingly mended my relationship with Dad.
I was confused. Do I choose safety with the anchor that has always kept me grounded, or do I choose happiness with the candle who sparked an incandescence within me that not even Sam or my friends were able to light up?
A few hours ago, on a park bench with the sun dipping down in the horizon, I broke up with Sam. It was a difficult choice that I nearly backed down from doing, but it was one Dad would be proud of me for doing. Being in a position of dumping my girlfriend made me understand why it was hard for Dad to divorce Mom. True love isn’t measured by years or the number of people that approve of the relationship; true love is the person who makes your heartbeat stutter and makes you smile to any love song that plays on the radio, no matter how cliché the lyrics are. Love is the fire that ignites your soul and what makes you the best person you can be.
Despite the tears that were shed, Sam understood. In fact, she had a hunch that Phil harbored feelings for me. She knew it was a matter of time before I caught on and braced herself for the feasible day where I could return his feelings. Following a friendly hug, we left the park knowing that even though we aren’t a couple anymore, our friendship will never fade. We’ve always been there for each other; we won’t let our breakup drive a wedge between us.
I turn around. Phil stands behind me, his ruffled raven hair reflected under the moonlight and his blue irises flickering with uncertainty. We’re heading back to school next week, so my friends and I are spending our last few days of summer break with a weekend-long sleepover in my apartment.
“Mind if I sit with you?”
“I’m not going anywhere.”
He nods, then moves to sit directly across from me, mirroring my sitting position.
“Couldn’t sleep?” he asks.
I chew the remaining chunks of Smarties in my mouth and swallow. “How can I? We’re seniors. We have one more year in high school before we’re thrust into adulthood and we’re little fishes trying to swim away from huge-ass sharks. Not that I’m ready to grow up, but my teen years are moving way too quick and I need time to slow down just a bit.”
He chuckles. “True. I’m not ready for senioritis to bite me in the bum yet. But I think that’s not what you’re really worried about.”
“What makes you say that?”
“You have a few candy wrappers next to you. You don’t binge-eat sweets unless you’re thinking really hard about something.”
He’s right. My sweet tooth is my version of stress-eating.
“You’re not wrong,” I say. “Truth is, you’re kinda the reason why I’m this close to getting a cavity.”
“How come?”
“Well… how else do you cope with realizing you love someone who’s so close yet so far beyond your grasp?”
“What? Dan, what Shojo anime have you been watching lately?”
“None. I just… God, I’ll just say it. I like you, Phil. I really, really like you and I might even love you, but I don’t know if I do yet ‘cause it’s too soon to tell.” I bend my legs so my knees are curled to my chest and my chin is on my kneecaps. “Fate is so screwed up. I shouldn’t be feeling this way, but I do. You’re strangely interesting and you get me so well. You’re the ying to my yang. You complete me, and I can’t live with the idea of seeing you with someone else. It’s so selfish of me since I already had Sam, but there’s something about you that wants you more than a friend. And… yeah.”
He blinks. “Whoa.”
“I know. Now let me down easy so we can forget I said any of that and I can start dealing with rejection.”
“Rejection? Dan, what are you, blind? I’ve loved you the moment you approached me and said, and I quote ‘I like your shirt.’”
“You still remember that?”
“How can I? It was love at first sight.”
“Love at first sight? This isn’t the 19th century.”
“Not according to the swiping on Tinder.”
I laugh. Being with Phil is easy. He’s carefree and doesn’t mind my wit. Even Sam has her occasions of being offended by my snark.
“I’m serious though. I do love you.” He leans closer, his hand reaching out to rest on top of mine. “I love how you can speak like a wise old philosopher. I don’t know how I went most of my life without you, because you’re what I was missing out on all this time. You came into my life with a purpose. I don’t know what I did to deserve you as a friend, but whatever it is, having you around made my life so much better.”
I look down at our entwined fingers. Holding his hand is comforting, a gesture that should be so wrong yet feels so right. This is what tadhana is. Destiny works in mysterious ways. As our fingers entwine, I’m reminded by how touching him soothed me when I spoke to Dad. He was my gravity then, and he’s my gravity now. The gravity is a force that’s much more powerful than I foresaw.
“Are you sure about this?” I murmur. “I’ve already hurt Sam. I don’t want to hurt you too if this doesn’t work out.”
“It will.” His eyes sharpen with conviction. “I won’t let anyone ruin what we have. Even if the universe hates what we are, I won’t ever hate you.” He releases my hands and maneuvers them to caress my cheeks. “I love you, Dan.”
I nod. Someday, I’ll be able to repeat those three words back to him.
Because when our lips meet and my stomach is churning with gentle waves, I’m certain that what Phil and I have is a fire that’ll never be extinguished.
What we have is real and here to stay.
~*~ ~*~ ~*~
For any of you that read any of my former phanfics, I used a few lines from The Story of Us and Don’t You Wonder. I couldn’t resist using my one-liners while I wrote this.
Anak means “my son/daughter” and tadhana means “destiny.” I can’t speak Filipino fluently, but I do understand some of the language.
Maalala Mo Kaya is an ongoing Filipino TV series that showcases real-life stories of celebrities and average people like us. Dan’s family background was highly inspired by numerous eps I watched of MMK involving broken families.
Hope ya’ll enjoyed this! I had fun incorporating aspects of the “local” life in Hawaii, especially since the release of Pokemon Sun and Moon. If you haven’t tried a malasada, you should. There’s a reason why Hau loves ‘em. Don’t give spam such a hard time, because I eat spam musubi’s often and they’re delicious. And the bus system? Trust me, if you aren’t sure familiar with public transportation involving the bus system, you’re easily gonna get lost. Heaven knows how many tourists I witnessed questioning what bus to catch. Hell, even a local like me sometimes has to consult Google Maps to figure out what bus to ride.
Originally, I approached this story with a love triangle angle, but it was my professor who recommended I should try focusing on a father-son relationship instead. Best decision ever, because writing the story that way felt way more real.
~ AA
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