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#tw weight

Shoutout to every fellow overweight babe working out hard & everyday: I FEEL YOU.

You know something really petty that annoys me / makes me sad?

When people at my gym say their knees hurt so they can’t do this or that exercise. They’re thin, fit, their knees hurt from working out, so they’re given different exercises.

Don’t get me wrong. I want nobody to suffer. I smile sympathetically at them while they step aside and the rest do our 100 sit-ups.

Do you think my knees don’t hurt? Bitch, I’m over 80kg and working out like I was 60kg. My knees hurt ALL the time. EVERY exercise feels like dying. I’m ALWAYS dizzy and out of breath, which you can probably tell by the fact that I’m red and covered in sweat while the rest of you look amazing in makeup and cute sports bras. This shit hurts. But oh, how I have learnt to enjoy it.

❤️❤️❤️ We are warriors, babes. ❤️❤️❤️

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Update-y

I’m really happy because I finally found a method to stay under my daily 1000kcal limit and stop binging at night.

I just save 500-600kcals for dinner and have it earlier.

I know, it’s obvious, but I was previously very concerned with eating most of my kcals in the morning.

Well, I’m sorry, science. That wasn’t working for me.

Also, since I weight and track every single ingredient of my meals, I’m learning a lot about macros, as well as finding out that there are lots of delicious and ridiculously low-cal foods (vegetable milk drinks, most fruits, instante ramen) whereas seemingly inocuous ones are surprisingly high-cal (bread, nuts, cookies).

Now I eat a little before I work out, a little after I work out, and the rest when I’m done for the day and feel most vulnerable.

For me it’s way easier to restrict during the rest of the day, when I’m feeling powerful.

Still working out 5-6 times a day, still losing weight. BMI went from 34% to 31%.

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excuse the ankles of my skinny jeans just absolutely crushing the shit outta my fat legs but this is five hours after the peak of my redness and swelling of my knees;

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this is not that bad for me. i still don’t know exactly what’s wrong with me. they burn and they feel like sandpaper when i have my weight on them and they’re being used. losing weight had actually made my knees a little bit better, but they’re still extremely painful.

also i’m making a tag (for myself) w posts abt my pain so i don’t just disregard my own symptoms because i have a constant sense of emotional and physical permenance.

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moving out and doing all the house cleaning for my roommates because they wouldn’t do it and pinned it on my disabled ass got me going off i guess! i have a mild fever and am constantly hallucinating now so that’s cool, my knees are literally tomato red and rounded-out swollen, but hey who cares, why don’t we all leave soap to do the cleaning alone at 11pm so he only gets to the new place at 3am? haha! i don’t think i’ve logged the lifting of the walking yet either, big lolz. literally cleaned for 12+ hrs and went on two break walks (30 mins+1.25hrs) to calm down so i didn’t freak my shit!

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Fast update:

Just weight myself and I’m at 76.9kg.

Its -1.2kg after one day (well, a day and a half) of my fast I’m so happy😭

It’s also the first time in a long time that I didn’t woke up every hour at night. Maybe I should fast more often so I could actually sleep.

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I’m currently in school to be an aesthetician (aka a skin therapist) and when we are learning to do new procedures we practice on each other. This means i have to be in a drape around every one in my class, and I can’t help but to compare my body to everyone in my class, and now im determined to be the smallest one there.

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I only ate around 1700 calories today and apparently the average is 1800? And this is more than I normally eat. I wasnt even watching my weight, i just dont eat a lot. So how come i have a bigger waist???????

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