#tw: heart attack

[bearandbirdfan]

SuleMio Angst Edit

Context: Suletta's heart, under the effects of the Data Storms, starts to give out and Miorine does everything she can to keep Suletta's heart beating and alive.

#mobile suit gundam #mobile suit gundam the witch from mercury #gundamedit #gundam #gundam witch from mercury #g witch #sulemio #suletta x miorine #suletta mercury #miorine rembran #tw: cpr #tw: heart attack #tw: heart failure #tw: cardiac arrest

[tsarjozinzbazin]

As a scout player I know how easy it is to get caught up in the middle of a swarm, but what about Gunner? Has Driller ever needed to save him as well?

not usually battle related but sometimes Gunner suffers from heart palpitations, and Driller is the only one strong enough to hold him up. However if you question Gunner about this, he will deny there's anything wrong with his heart.

Reminder from MC to take your heart meds!!!! (or any meds for that matter!)

#Gunner's pacemaker is on the fritz again #Naedocyte shokers are usually the cost #or running #tw: heart attack #? #just in case #tw: heart condition #he's an old man #deep rock galactic #my art #deep rock galactic fanart #drg #ask #gunner #mission control #Gunner is embarrassed about this #everyone pretends they hadn't seen anything for his sake

[ub-sessed]

A friend of ours died yesterday of a heart attack. Today I am realizing that all his Facebook posts for the past week were about how stressed out he was.

Stress kills, folks. Don't fuck around with it.

#tw: death #tw: heart attack #stress

[xchxsingcxrsx]

@ssacharlotterothmanrp || Continued from here

Alec lay there. He hadn't told anyone. There was one person but he knew he wouldn't have said anything. But it didn't matter now. He ended up collapsing while going after a suspect and here he was, laying in a hospital bed, after having a heart attack. Now it was out there. Alec kept his eyes on her, even though she was looking away. "Miller told you?"

#[elizabeth] #tw: illness #tw: heart attack #illness tw #heart attack tw

[madmanwonder]

Cardiac Arrest (Makoto Niijima)

TW: AI art (albeit edited)

---

One minute, Makoto Niijima was running on a treadmill for a cardiac stress test as part of her physical.

The next thing she knew, she fell to the ground, feeling a sharp pain jabbing her in the chest.

Those nearby were able to get doctor to rush over to Makoto's location and load her on a stretcher.

Makoto hyperventilates her heart begins to beat irregularly fast, the pain in her chest increasing along with her heart rate.

Even the doctors putting an oxygen mask on her did little to calm her down.

Eventually, the pain proves too much for the girl's body and her heart gives out.

The last thing she sees as she loses consciousness and the last of the air leaves her body is the doctors attempting to resuscitate her.

#submission #tw: ai art #persona 5 #persona 5 edit #makoto niijima #niijima makoto #tw: heart attack #tw: heart failure #tw: cardiac arrest

[andromedasummer]

fun fact i just remembered abt the Indianapolis oval course. you can't race it in reverse because the combination of angle, direction and speed makes your body unable to pump blood to your heart. you can certainly attempt to do full race distance for whatever series. but you'll almost 100% die of a heart attack after a solid few laps.

#tw: heart attack #motorsports #track design is fascinating and insane #from this to the singapore sling to the inane boring mess that was 2002 hockenheim #it is an exact science that you have to walk the line of. on one side theres death and the other theres boring useless tracks

[soldwrecked]

which tragic death would you suffer?

the sudden

it happens so quick you won't even realize it. like being hit by a car, or having a heart attack. one moment you're here, the next you're not. you don't get to prepare. your family will spend months sifting through your belongings, not knowing what to do. your friends online will never know why you don't come back. you die thinking you're alive, face still preserved with your last emotion. you don't get to say goodbye.

tagged by: found it on the dash.

tagging: whoever wants to do it

#char : riff lorton #hand to heart ; headcanon #i. #i am not okay #i literally had to sit for a second bc why is it so accurate #riff stop making me sad #IT’S BEEN TWO YEARS #YOU NEED TO STOP #PLEASE #tw: death #tw: car accident #tw: heart attack

[leibxedelman]

The Mourner’s Kaddish [Self Para]

@noahwrightx @dhanilyman

Glorified and sanctified be God’s great name throughout the world which He has created according to His will.

Leib knew he was dead when Sunny’s arms wrapped around his neck, he could feel her sobbing, kissing his neck, and then she was being pulled away from him by the guards who had forced her to hurt him. 

More guards surrounded his slack body, he felt someone shove their fingers to his neck, feel for a pulse, but they wouldn’t get one, and when they realized that, the guard who had been checking moved their hand from his throat, pressed their head to his chest, and then swore. There was a moment of murmurs from the guards, one of them got on the phone, he was sure they were calling the headmaster. 

He was unshackled, laid on the ground, checked over. He could see it all happening from his open, unblinking eyes, wondering when, when was he going to see the light, when was he going to go on. He should be reunited with his grandparents now, his parents, generations of Edelmans who had come to the new world from the old country, who had done everything they could to see their generations of family had a good life in America before him. 

But instead he saw what was happening to his body, he could hear the guards talking frantically, and then the one who had the phone pressed to his ear lowered it. A body bag was produced and Leib was moved from the grass, probably stained with his blood and sweat, and into the bag, which was zipped up as he looked out at the sky. 

He was being moved somewhere, the morgue probably- if the school even had one- but he didn’t know where, he couldn’t move, he was stuck inside his body, and he could hear the chatter, the orders from the guards to people he couldn’t see. Sigils, and wards they talked about, but it meant nothing to Leib. 

He wondered about Sunny, how was she doing? Who would take care of Dhani and Monster Truck? Who would dress up in an embarrassingly ridiculous outfit and cheer for Evie? Who would teach Levi about random facts and hang out with Skyler in the library? 

They all had people, they all had families. 

Sunny had friends, he was sure any one of the masters on the island would be happy to take care of her, she was so sweet and kind, it would be impossible not to console her and take care of her. 

Dhani had friends, he had loads of friends, and his girlfriend was claimed, so maybe her master would take care of him. Leib hoped that Dhani would continue to take care of Monster Truck- hell, he was sure he would- he’d taken care of him before Leib showed up, and he’d take care of him after they buried Leib. 

Evie had her sister, even if the girl was reluctant to reach out, he was sure she’d be there for Evie if she really needed her. 

All of his friends, all of the people, they would be okay, and so would he… Eventually. 

May He establish His kingdom in your lifetime and during your days, and within the life of the entire House of Israel, speedily and soon; and say, Amen.

Leib was 35, reading the prayer at the temple where two coffins sat in front of him. He was dressed in his best suit, his eyes moved from the words before him, to the couple in the row in front of him and to his right. His grandparents had been better parents to him over the last twenty five years than the people in the coffins. 

He had been driving to work on the expressway when they died, stuck in the traffic that had been caused by their car accident, reading the New York Times in the back of a cab as his parents' bodies were pulled from the wreck. 

He remembered glancing at the accident, seeing the first responders covering bodies with the sheets and saying a silent prayer for the families of the deceased while the traffic finally started to let up as people got their rubbernecking fix, and then he looked back at his paper, not knowing that he had just said a prayer for himself. For his parents' families. 

It had been twenty years since he’d seen them, spoken to them, and now he had no way of speaking to them, of telling them what he was doing, how his life was going, all he had left of them now was the knowledge that he was performing the prayer. 

Leib stood in front of a casket, the same Temple, the same Prayer, a different group of mourners, a different casket, and ten years older. He looked from the casket, to the same spot where his grandparents had sat ten years and some odd months before, only his grandmother remained. 

Her strength in this moment gave him strength. 

She had been more of a mother to him than the woman who had died a decade ago, she had raised him, stayed with him while he was sick, fed him when he could hardly move from fever, helped him with his homework. She had gushed about him to her friends at Temple and taught him what it was to have a mother, and even now at 45, she was still doing that for him. 

Five years later. Same Temple, different casket. Less mourners, but more funerals under his belt, no one sitting in the front row to give him strength as he read the prayer. 

Leib had no idea how much time had passed, he knew the car had stopped, he knew he had been brought somewhere else, but the only indication of time passing was the small hint of light he could see in the miniscule spaces between the zipper to the body bag. He was suffocating inside his own body, he’d never been this still for any amount of time, and he was completely at the mercy of those who handled his body. 

Leib needed to be prepared, in his office at the library he’d left files for the event of his death- though he was not expecting this to happen for at least another few years, twenty to thirty was the hope, and now Dhani would have to do this for him. Oh god, poor Dhani. He’d already lost so many people, and now Leib. After he’d only just admitted he was scared of Leib leaving, and Leib confirming that the fear was valid- he never meant like this. He meant if Leib got bored and got itchy feet, he’d take off and go somewhere else, though he was trying hard not to do that. 

He’d spent so long moving around, seeing different parts of the world, Leib knew that he was never going to see all of the world, but that didn’t mean he had to accept the limitation, and he didn’t for the most part- but now? Now he would see nothing. 

May His great name be blessed forever and to all eternity.

Or- well- he was supposed to see nothing. 

Stuck inside the body bag still, he could only see the inside of the bag, and he knew, he just knew that this wasn’t right. He should be gone, he should not be in his body. Most would at that point assume that this was it, this was the end, and that this was what really happened after you died, but he just knew that this wasn’t right. 

He laid there, staring at the zip in the bag, unable to move his eyes, unable to do anything while he stared at that fixed point- he couldn’t even blink. 

It was suffocating being in his body, his chest still ached, pain radiating through him like he was still having his heart attack, his left side of his chest full of sharp pains that hurt so so much, watching while the light in between the teeth of the zipper faded to darkness. 

He could hear people talking outside the room, and he wished, prayed for someone, anyone to come in there, to talk to him, to unzip the bag and get him some fresh air, but he knew that fresh air wouldn’t do him any good. Not now. 

Leib was no stranger to suffocating, he’d almost suffocated when he was six, living on the commune- well, could you really consider drowning suffocating- either way, it was not his first time without air. 

He could remember it clearly, they had all gone to the neighborhood public pool, it was a hot, humid day in New York, and all of the kids had been loaded up into one of the vans and brought to the pool, they paid whatever the fee was at the time, maybe thirty five cents a head? And then they were turned loose, sent to enjoy the pool for the day, each was given a quarter to buy lunch, and the parents were gone. Leib wouldn’t know what they were but as an adult he had some ideas. 

The bigger kids were supposed to watch the younger kids, but the thing about a visit to a New York Public Pool with sixteen unsupervised children? It’s chaotic. Leib had always been little as a kid, little, but willing to be crazy and have fun and do whatever he wanted, because that’s how he was being raised, to do whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted. 

Bedtimes? Don’t be silly. Homework? He didn’t even go to school and at six years old could barely spell his own name. Swear? Say whatever you want kid! 

Life had been anarchic. 

He remembered the feeling of the water on his little body, there were so many people in the pool that day, it must have been a Saturday, and the people moving around, swimming, or just treading water in place, it made the water feel like the ocean, swaying back and forward while he tried to swim as best he could in the shallow end. 

But it was what the bigger kids were doing that caught his interest, jumping off of the diving board into the water. He and his best friend in the house, Eitan, watched as the older boys ran in a line, jumping off the diving board one after another, while the lifeguard yelled at them to knock it off. 

It was fun, the two boys smiled at each other and then looked back as their brothers were wild and crazy and just had a good time. 

It was later when the kids were all having lunch sitting around the side of the pool that the teasing started, some of the bigger boys were ribbing the little boys, and while Leib knew he couldn’t swim as well as they could, he still proudly announced that he wasn’t afraid of the diving board, and he stood up, marched himself over to the board and looked back at the group. He couldn’t see well from where he stood, the world had started getting blurrier and blurrier earlier that year, but no one seemed to have an answer for why that was happening- but he could recognize the group he’d just left, all of their towels laid out together, everyone sitting in a circle, sharing what little food they’d all been able to afford, one or two large cokes split between all sixteen of them, just enough for everyone to get a sip or two, before they’d use the cups to refill at the water fountain. 

He stood on the edge of the diving board and looked into the pool, it had certainly filled up since they had gotten there that morning, and it was chaotic, the whole property was. But Leib was not going to let them think him a coward, he was little, but he was strong- but so was the fear settling in his stomach. He took a deep breath and was about to turn around, when he saw a line of boys behind him waiting to use the diving board. “Go already!” one of them yelled at him, and in that moment, Leib had to make a choice, jump or jump off the board. 

But the choice was made for him when the bigger boy’s hands met his shoulders and he had just enough time to gasp for air before he hit that refreshing water. The only problem was not as it turned out, swimming back to the surface, the problem was the impatience of the boys behind him who all began to jump into the water before the six year old had surfaced, the displacement of water, the bodies landing around him, it stunned him, sent his little body moving from side to side, but not up. One particularly husky child shot down into the water, landing on Leib and then pushing off of him, knocking him further into the water, knocking the wind out of him, and sending air into his lungs. 

Leib tried to gasp, tried to get air, but all he got was water, water and confusion, and fear, fear gripped his body as he realized how bad this situation was. Even at six he had a concept of death, one of the older boys in the commune had been tasked with killing the rats in their building, and he took his job very seriously. It was often Leib would wake up to the sound of a snap while he and the other children slept in the children’s room, which was of course in the basement, it being the biggest room in the house and the one with the most space for children to play. It was also the room with the most rats. 

And he Leib, he was a rat right now, a rat caught in a trap, and he was sinking, he was sinking fast. 

Blessed and praised, glorified and exalted, extolled and honored, adored and lauded be the name of the Holy One, blessed be He, beyond all the blessings and hymns, praises and consolations that are ever spoken in the world; and say, Amen. 

Leib didn’t know why he remembered that day at the pool as he stared at the inside of the body bag, he supposed because it was his first near death experience, but this, this was a full death experience. He was dead, he knew he was dead. 

The day at the pool had ended when the lifeguard dove in for him, pulled him out and performed CPR on him until his body expelled the water from his lungs and then he was wrapped in a towel, and because they had all spent their money on food they had no money to call home. 

A sympathetic lady offered one of the older kids a dime to make a phone call, and after not getting an answer at the house, the kids were all wrapped in their towels, put their sandals on, the ones who had brought them that is, and they began to walk the eight blocks home, where they had to wait on the steps to the house until one of the younger kids was able to be lowered into the basement through a side window, and then ran upstairs and unlocked the door for them. They didn’t see the adults for two days. 

His body ached, rigor was setting in, and the stabbing in his chest was still there, he ached, he wanted to be free, but he had to assume God had some sort of plan for him as he laid in the body bag. 

May there be abundant peace from heaven, and life, for us and for all Israel; and say, Amen.

Night crawled by, and finally daytime came, and when it did, new voices came, he recognized one of them, Dhani, Dhani had come to him, and he felt guilt for the pure relief that washed over him when the zipper of the body bag was opened. He knew he should be more concerned with his companion’s state of being after the mass punishment that had just happened, but really he was more excited to see the light and feel the change as the body bag was unzipped all the way. Dhani was wearing his yarmulke that Leib had given him, and for that he was thankful. He could feel the dampness of Dhani’s hands and he was thankful for that as well, he had washed his hands before touching Leib, and so had the other person? A tall man that Leib didn’t know by name but had definitely seen before around the island. 

As they pulled Leib’s sore body from the bag and turned him to get him out of the bag, he was thankful that they seemed to be taking the proper precautions. Dhani must have found his papers, and for that he was thankful. 

The other one, the one he didn’t know spoke to him, like he knew that Leib was still stuck inside his body, and Leib wished he knew what the comment, the “be strong, you’re well taken care of” meant, but he couldn’t ask, couldn’t even wonder what it meant before his eyes were closed, and he was left in darkness. 

He could feel everything they did to him, washed him, turned him, made sure his body was clothed in the right way, and then Dhani was gone, and Leib was left with the other one, alone. 

"Hey," was the first thing Noah said when they were alone, and then, "shit, I should have written something down, like a speech. 'Hey,' what the fuck, that sucks." There was the scrape of a chair being dragged, the sound of someone very large throwing themselves into it. "I know you can't see me. And I know we've never met, so this is gonna be--hard to believe. Hard to take in. I'm Noah. Real sorry to meet you under these circumstances. God, I'm bad at this, I'm sorry--the souls I reap aren't usually great people, and they're also not sticking around, so I don't have to like--there's not so much explaining when it's a serial murderer." 

The truth was the rambling was a little bit calculated. During his three days, he'd have given anything for something to distract him, something to hold onto when the pain and the isolation within his own mind was too much. He could not fill all of Leib's three days--the misery was necessary, was a part of it--but he could draw it out, just a little, this distraction. "The bad news is you're dead, Leib. Reckon you've figured that out by now. I don't, uh--I don't know how much you know about reapers. That's what I am, by the way. A reaper. Not your reaper, mind, that's different. See, your reaper can't get here. Headmaster made sure of it. My god damn skin's on fire from the wards, and I had to give a man my scythe to get in here--which you don't understand yet, so I'll get to the point. Like I said, your reaper can't get here. And if they can't get to you by Wednesday, well--then you don't get reaped. And if you don't get reaped, you become one of us. I guess what I'm sayin' is you're dead, but it's not permanent. It's good news. You're not done. But, uh, I'm not gonna lie to you--it's gonna suck a little bit at first. There's no getting around it. You're gonna be stuck in there until Wednesday, and it's going to keep hurting, and it isn't going to get better until it does. And then after that it's going to be--weird as hell, and overwhelming, but--it's life. It's a life, and it's not a bad one. And I'm gonna see you through it. See, we're brothers now, and the thing you should know about me--I'm a fuckin' excellent brother. It's gonna be good. I promise." 

A pause, the sound of Noah settling into the chair to stay. "I'll be here when it's over. Three days. You can do it."

Leib was thankful to this Noah. And he wondered if Noah knew what his name meant. In Hebrew Noah came from the name "Noach" which means "rest," or "repose." and rest he could knowing what was going on. 

He who creates peace in His celestial heights, may He create peace for us and for all Israel; and say, Amen.

The three days were brutal. He hadn’t been lying about the pain, the entire time it felt like his heart was still seizing, giving up, even though he knew it had given up awhile ago. It was agonizing, knowing that he couldn’t be anywhere but in this moment. He remembered times of his life, he wondered more than once if this was God punishing him for indiscretions, for worshiping but not committing to Him fully, for going against some of their most known rules. So the man ate pork every now and then, he didn’t eat shellfish once in his life, despite hearing from countless people how amazing it was. 

Despite Noah telling him to be strong, he had moments of weakness; He tried to bargain with God, begged to go, begged to see the light and for all of this to just be over. He just wanted to go. But it seemed God, and the Headmaster had other plans for him. 

He was thankful to have Noah telling him how much time had passed, how much time he had left in this hell. As a Jew he’d never believed in Hell, but this was certainly Hell, being locked away with his own thoughts for three days, unable to move, to breathe, to do anything to distract him from the agony of time. 

And then something changed. 

And he knew without anyone telling him that the three days were coming to an end. 

Amen.

#self para #three days in his head was not fun #enjoy! #tw: drowning #tw: death #tw: rats #tw: heart attack #tw: religion

[i-store-my-writing-here]

I am scared. My father screams, my mother has had several cardiac arrests. I do not want this for me, not again, not like this. I'm left wanting, shaking, but I can't do anything. A gentle love feels too good to be true. everything I have seen of love is heartache and heart medications. please teach my heart what it means to love. I think I never truly understood.

#poetry #love #relationships #tw: abuse #tw: heart attack #tw: heart medications #tw: medication #tw: cardiac arrest

[lucybronzey]

so basically my anxiety has been very physically painful today which is fucking shite! is there someone i can talk with who knows what i mean? thank you in advance! (by physical i mean like anxiety is trying to impersonate a stroke or a heart attack)

#tw #tw: anxiety #anxiety #tw: heart attack #tw: stroke #trigger warning #anxiety attack #mental health

[laughterfixs]

So yesterday was a really long an emotional day for me and my family.

We love big dogs. To the point we had four of em. The story of how we got them all is a long one so I’ll save that for another time.

Our eldest girl who we got first, our super Nova, unfortunately passed away around 10:30 yesterday morning. I was the one to find her just laying on the couch, limp and unresponsive. I walked out to investigate the odd cries coming from my big mastiff boy and saw my other two Danes barkings and nudging at nova. As soon as I got closer, calling her name and reached out to touch her, I realized the worst had happened. I knew she was dead in that moment but the fear in my chest grabbed me and I screamed bloody murder for my father to come help.

My sister tried to come investigate and I had to stop her. I told her something was wrong with nova and I made her boyfriend take her as I did not want her to see what I saw of her baby.

My father rushed out of the bathroom as fast as he could and proceeded to do cpr on Nova. My brother trying to give her mouth to mouth. It was terrifying to see and all I could do was scream in fear and agony. After what was probably a minute and a half (but seemed like an eternity) of cpr not working my father and brother picked her up and hurried to the emergency vet in our town.

They were probably only gone for ten minutes and in that time I had told my friends what was happening. I didn’t talk to much of anyone all day…

When they came home my father had told me Nova had a massive heart attack and her heart was enlarged. I broke. My family member was gone as I feared. She was buried with her collar, her favorite blanket and her stuffed duck that she carried literally everywhere.

I’m still healing from yesterday. I’m better than I was especially after talking to my friends who I can’t thank enough. I’m tired and I’m very numb at the moment so I don’t know how much you’ll see from me for a few days.

My super nova is among the stars now…and we’re gonna miss her so much. I love you mommas.

Please kiss your fur babies. Give them hugs and extra treats. I don’t care what anyone says. They’re not just pets. They’re family.

#serious chat #tw: vent #tw:loss of pet #tw: pet death #l.f talks #tw: heart attack #tw: dog death #I miss you baby #I love you so much #you were such a good dog #the best comfort I have is you passed quickly and painlessly #she was fine one moment and gone the next #I’ll be okay in time #all I need is time #RIP Nova

[bearandbirdfan]

After an intense battle, Itsuka Kendo begins to feel sharp chest pain, stemming from the effects her Quirk, Big Hands, has on her heart. She begins to breathe faster and faster as the organ in her chest pumps irregularly, trying its best to not give out on her.

Models by Bandai Namco, SEGA and SAB64

#mmd art #mikumikudance #my hero academia #boku no hero academia #itsuka kendo #kendo itsuka #itsuka kendou #kendou itsuka #tw: medical #tw: heart attack #tw: heart failure #tw: cardiac arrest

[willxmeyers]

down the line. (self para) where: oasis

[ tw: drug abuse, addiction, injury, heart attack ]

Everything had come tumbling down like a house of cards. He felt as though he’d tried so hard to make things work, fighting tooth and nail to get Lemie to see he was different. But it was no use. He wasn't different. He was the same old piece of shit he'd always been and would always be. Well, at least she knew that now. Maybe it was time to stop pretending to be someone he wasn't, and remember who he was. And if he was going to forget about everything that had happened and make it home with someone else tonight, he’d needed to get out of his own head and have a little something extra to make the twinkle in his eye that much brighter. A few drinks here and there did not a party make. Leaving the bar behind him, Will headed towards the back of the club. It was not-so-surprising how easy it was to score at Oasis. You just look for the guy that was people watching, make eye contact and slip some money into his hand. Within a couple minutes, he had exactly what he needed and was heading to the club bathroom. He waited until it was unoccupied, Will removed the tiny bag of white powder from his pocket. Lining it up like a pro, three angelic lines complimented the dark marble bathroom countertop. A $50 bill rolled up to his nose, the party could begin.

𝐈. Rubbing the outside of his nose, Will closed his eyes and rested both his hands on the cool marble bench. He let out a chuckle to himself as the drug pulsed through his body. There was an alertness and yet, everything felt fuzzy. As though there was a cool haze falling over him. Will could still remember the first time he had felt that cocaine high, there was nothing quite like it and he’d been chasing that high ever since. Hunting for it at the end of every line. It wouldn’t be long until someone would walk in here and see what he was doing. He wasn’t really in the mood for side-eyes of disapproval. Bending down once again, Will watched another line disappear.

𝐈𝐈. He glanced down at his left arm where an unfamiliar tingle spread. Cocaine was a surprising drug. Just when he thought he was used to it, it managed to change how reacted to it. Shrugging it off, he could feel his heartbeat increase with every particle of powder passed through his central nervous system. Looking up at the mirror, he could hardly recognize himself. The lines across his face were deeper than the last time he'd done this. In a moment of clarity, Will though there might still be a way to salvage what he may have lost. A moment of panic for how quickly things had disintegrated. Was there anything he could have done to stop it? Or was he doomed to repeat the same shit over and over? The paranoia passed swiftly, the tingling in his body amplifying. But there was still more fun to be had. “Another one bites the dust,” he mumbled cheekily to himself as he prepared for the final line. A cold sweat covered his forehead as he felt a wash of pain flow through his chest.

𝐈𝐈𝐈. As the marble countertop lay only slightly dusted in white powder, no lines to be seen, Will felt it. The rushing of his blood and constriction of arteries. It seemed no matter how hard he tried, no air would enter his lungs. His fingers tense from the pain, clenching fists to grab onto what was left of life. Falling to his knees, clutching his chest as it tightened like a vice, he closed his eyes in anguish. On a scale of one to ten, it was a twelve. And so unlike the time he'd overdosed. That felt like falling asleep at the wheel, while this was driving headfirst into oncoming traffic. His body convulsing without his consent left him almost unconscious on the floor. In the last moment before fading away, he thought back to his final moments with his father before he had died years ago. “You’re nothing,” his father had said with a raspy breath before his eyes fluttered shut. All that Will remembered in that moment was thinking that he was glad his father was dead. That there was one less horrible person left on this Earth. Perhaps people would think the same thing when they found out that Will was gone too.

#∘₊✧────── will meyers. ( soliloquy ) #tw: drug abuse #tw: addiction #tw: injury #tw: heart attack

[letarasstuff]

It's insane to me hearing medical jargon and having no connection to it and thinking the worst of outcomes when I'm confronted with these things.

In other words: my dad had a heart attack and he is somehow fine?!

#letaras personal #tw: heart attack #fr my brother told me he had a heart attack and assumed the worst #but apparently you can walk around with a heart attack for days?! #weird #so so weird

[fandoms-writings]

~~~

on top of how my week started - my grandfather had a heart attack yesterday. He’s okay and he now has a pace maker, but he’s getting old and has already had a double bypass. 

and tomorrow is my only work friends last day. we’re gossip buddies and he’s the only one who’s actually taken the time to make sure i’m not isolated in my office all day. i hate working here and he does too so i don’t blame him, i’m just gonna be lonely again. 

this is just not my week. 

#tw: heart attack #he's okay tho! #just a rough week guys #you can ignore this is you want #i'm just screaming into the void at this point

[skeksismars]

I just had an axiety attack, I'm still jittery from it.

I hate this

I can't sleep, I'm too afraid

I have this crippling fear of dying in my sleep and I can't sleep because of it, but now I've become fixated on the notion of heart attacks so now my anxiety is mimicking heart attacks symptoms and I don't know if it's my anxiety or I actually have heart attacks symptoms.

I can't do this anymore 😭😭

It's been years of costant fear and I can't go to a therapist because of my other stupid fear of being judged and belittled and :(((

Tomorrow I'm going to go get my blood drawn for analysis so maybe there's some answers there.

It can also be my fucking menstruation cycle that's about to come, because it ALWAYS fucks me up hormonally fuck fuck >.<

Help does anybody relate to this? How did you solve this? I am scared and angry and fed up, mostly with myself

#sleep anxiety #tw: heart attack #tw: death #tw: anxiety #mars' journal