Sakura Blooms
Synopsis: You ask Childe to bring you a flower that’s on the other side of Teyvat. It’s a simple plan to get him away from you for a while, but he turns the situation around and makes you regret ever deceiving him. Had he seen through your plans?
Warning: Forced marriage, implied kidnapping, toxic behaviour, implied abuse (?) // its mentioned he locks you up in a room in the dark for hours when you don't behave
Note: This is absolute shit :( Wanted to write something about the dendrobium bc of the lore (I had a whole plan lmao) but I somewhere did a 180 and suddenly wrote 1k about something different??? It’s fine.
Song recommendation: None. I couldn’t fine any in my history that fit </3
“I want Sakura Blooms.”
He’s silent for a moment. “A what now…?”
“I saw them in the book you gave me. I want them.”
Childe frowns in confusion as he tries to remember where exactly he heard ‘Sakura Blooms’ and what book you’d been talking about.
When you point to the small table between the fireplace and the couch it clicked.
He’d given you the book after you complained about not being able to understand Snezhnayan. He assured you you didn’t need it with him by your side – he was all you need, but apparently when you grew bored you’d become crankier (or so he asserted), so Childe went to the nearest bookshop and asked for any books with pictures.
The shop owner showed him a few books but one specific one caught his eye. The cover was green with hints of pink, something cute that reminded him of you, so he bought it as a small present.
You’d been throwing fits every day ever since you arrived in Snezhnaya, something he understands since it must’ve been a big change from Mondstadt.
A welcoming gift was long overdue.
But you asking him to get something?
Now this is something he didn’t expect from you this early. He must’ve made big progress by showing you his patience.
“Show me which one.”
His voice is determined and he seems to have abandoned anything that went through his head prior to your question.
After you grab the book from the small table you flip through the pages, skipping as fast as you can through Mondstadt’s flora and stopping once you see the pink petals of the Sakura Blooms.
The page is filled with detailed illustrations. There’s a giant tree full in bloom, another illustration which depicts a bundle of the petals, and the last one, an illustration of a branch from the tree.
You can’t read any of the words but you’re familiar with the flower. It’s used when making perfume, but you previously used it to make paint. From this experience, you know the flower is hard to obtain.
Childe walks up behind you and wraps his arms around your waist. You let him pull you back into his chest and ignore any further actions. If your plan succeeds you’d have him gone for a good while – any unwanted touch is a willing sacrifice if you can get rid of him for a few weeks.
He hums and you feel his breath on the side of your face.
When he doesn’t respond further you state your case. The more he’ll think about it, the bigger the change will be he’ll say no.
“I, um… I really want them because you don’t have that many flowers here.”
You grip the book a bit tighter. He stays silent – you hadn’t convinced him.
“And well… I.”
You try to look as nervous as possible. Be weak and he’d feel in control. Hit his weak spots and you’d be able to succeed.
“I always wanted the flowers on my wedding day.” You fiddle with the pages of the book on purpose, “And since you wanted to marry so fast I couldn’t choose anything. So I thought you could get these in return?”
You feel his lips press against your neck. His hands squeeze your sides a bit tighter and he tries to press into you even harder.
“Why didn’t you say so?” Another kiss on your neck, “You know that ceremony was only temporary. I promised you we could do anything we want once you stop throwing tantrums.”
One of his hands reaches for your face and turns it to the side so he’s able to look at you. His eyes are dull and they stare intensely into yours.
“So you’ll get them?”
“Yes. I should be able to get in contact with a few people, but it does mean you’ll be alone for a while.”
You relax in his arms. A few weeks with him stuck in the capital means silence.
“Do you want a different dress as well?”
“…what?”
“You’ve been so good lately. Of course, it can’t be anything outlandish…” he trails off, “-but I guess you can help this time with choosing your dress.”
You frown and he continues.
“It still won’t be a big ceremony, but bigger than our last one. My family will come and we can even get Pulcinella to come. If you really want it I can invite some of the maids as well, just so you’ll have some familiar faces.”
You try to push his arms away from your waist. “What ceremony?”
Childe’s grip turns stronger and he pushes a few other kisses to your neck. “Wedding ceremony.”
“No! I don’t want that-“
He suddenly squeezes you tighter than before. You immediately stop talking and you freeze in your place. You can already feel the bruises start to form on the areas where his hands dig into your body.
He’s silent again.
You had yelled a lot during the first few days after you’d awoken in Snezhnaya. He never yelled back and instead silently approached you before manhandling your body towards the basement where he’d keep you in the dark for hours. You’d scream, cry, and plead, but it’d always take a while before he’d let you out.
Your chest heaves up and down and you slowly turn your head.
He doesn’t seem happy at all.
“I… I’m sorry.”
“Hmm.” He watches the water pool at the bottom of your lids. “It’s alright. Everything is still new for you so you need time to adjust. It’s not that easy – I know, but we’ll always have each other.”
He continues, “My family adores you, so there’s no need to be afraid.”
He turns you around. One of his hands pushes onto your lower back, forcing your body onto his. His other hand pushes your head to his chest.
His heartbeat doesn’t calm you down. It beats too fast, almost as if he’s excited.
You wonder, did he know?
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cacoëthes
[ PART ONE ] [ PART TWO ] [ PART THREE ]
18+ DARK CONTENT BELOW, MINORS + BLANK BLOGS DNI
pairing: s4 reiner x fem!reader
word count: 6.7k
warnings + tags: general yandere and obsessive themes, unhealthy relationships, stalking, kidnapping mention, vomit mentions (nonsexual cause), gore/violence, slight misogyny, kinda aot spoilers if you haven't watched it before, all characters are 18+
synopsis: reiner has always kept his eyes on you ever since the two of you were still trainees. he's sorry for many things that he's done in his cursed life but he was never sorry for loving you. you loved him as only a friend and perhaps family, but your relationship with the bulky blond is not everything what it seems on the surface. not to him at least.
a/n: tbh i just thought of this up as i reminisced on old middle school memories recently, i was a big s1 aot fan back in the day and just got back into it bc of one of my friends. i recently got a mad crush on reiner that i didn't have before and that same friend is dealing with the brunt of it lol
this might be ooc since i haven't written any aot characters in years + they have slightly different personalities from back then. if this gets enough support (likes and reblogs), the second part will be posted as soon as possible! even if it doesn't, i'm still gonna be posting it anyways
part one is just like a recap of reiner and the reader's relationship, there's nothing sexual in this part until the other parts.
note: please keep in mind of the tags above and do not proceed if triggering or uncomfortable, especially if you are a minor!! do not read my or any other writers' dark content if you are underaged. this is a fictional work and does not reflect irl morals, do not believe this is how a real romance works or functions.
─── ・ 。゚☆: .☽ . :☆゚.───
Reiner shouldn't be looking at you.
He should've stopped years ago, this could've all been prevented if he had just pulled his eyes away. Hell, he should've just kept his attention on Krista — no that's not her name now, what was it, Historia? — but he respected Ymir's wishes of betrothing her despite... everything that had happened to the girl. But he didn't and now he was in this hellish predicament.
You were born and raised in Paradis. Titans have destroyed most of humanity and the remnants of them have been living in the walls ever since; that's all you knew compared to the Marley-born warrior. He wished he could be as naïve as the devils that resided in this small island, it would be better to only know that you were the only lifeforms that lived decent lives hiding away from the Titans outside of the walls.
No, he shouldn't be calling you a devil. Fuck, he shouldn't be calling any of what-once-was his friends devils but he couldn't just erase the years of history that has been embedded into his head ever since he could comprehend language. At the same time, they have never done any evils towards him before he revealed the true identities of his group.
He loved his Paradisian friends — he wished he could say that in front of their faces without feeling so much melancholy shame and guilt — he loved serving for his country, he loved his family. But most importantly, he loves you.
It was an accidental captivation from a single hand-to-hand combat training session, where the 104th trainees were once unaware of the kind of future ahead of them. You were unfairly set against Reiner, Instructor Shadis even knew that but still made you two spar. You were shorter than him — most Paradis people were — and weaker, not just because you were a girl. He didn't notice you back then, there was nothing that the man thought at a first glance was interesting about you.
Nothing at all.
You were barely any threat despite being a devil, a lowly sheep in the den of a vicious lion.
You put your arms up in a defensive position anyways, shifting the weight on your feet. Your small fists were balled up tightly, as if you were going to actually do some damage with them. You knew that you couldn't beat him in pure strength but you readied yourself regardless, eyes glinting in determination. He held up his fists, a small yet confident smirk growing on his face. This was going to be a simple win.
"Don't go easy on me Braun."
"I have no intentions to L/N."
He remembered how quickly you dashed towards him, not fast enough that it rivals Annie's or Mikasa's speed, but fast enough for him to be caught off guard for a good second. He watched you bend down low, trying to get a low sweep on him. He had enough training back home to know how to avoid this kind of attack. Reiner jumped back, believing to have narrowly missed your foot and prepared himself to counter-attack.
But he could have never expected being tackled by the leg down, his back colliding into the dirt. All the air escaped his lungs as he felt you scramble to pin him down, a large grin plastered on your face.
"Aw Braun, I appreciate you going easy on me but really? I expected a big guy like you to try harder."
He bit back his tongue from saying anything in reply, watching you stand and dust off your uniform, still wearing that proud smirk. As he finally managed to collect his bearings, he asked you a question.
"Where'd you learn that move?"
"Leonhart." As to be expected of the Female Titan inheritor but he didn't expect her giving out sparring tips to anyone, especially Paradisians. You outstretched your hand towards him, waiting for him to take it.
"Y'know anything else from her?" He questioned, grabbing your hand as you lifted him up.
You pondered a bit, exaggerating your expression as you pretended to think about it, and finally answered him.
"Maybe, but I'll only reveal them to you if you actually put more effort into our sparring. I'm not a frail little girl y'know."
Reiner heftily laughed as you slapped his arm, walking away to resume your defensive stance. The two of you continued to spar, both of you counting down individual wins; it came down to a score of fifteen-ten, he won the whole thing but that didn't seem to falter your smile. You were simply ecstatic that he didn't supposedly pull back his punches, though he did quietly fret over the bruises that bloomed overnight on your face and arms the next day.
Bertolt noticed his staring problem immediately a few weeks after. Rather than looking at Krista per usual and daydreaming about marrying her, he was looking at you chowing down your meal next to Connie and Sasha. He whispered to him that what he's doing should cease immediately but he insisted that it would not interfere with their original mission. You were an enigma that he wanted to solve, that's all.
He swore to him that he had good intentions — that he was truly observing the kinds of enemies they were facing — but now he's not quite sure that they even stayed good to begin with.
Through his many inconspicuous observations, Reiner had found out that nothing seemed to pull that grin down on your face. Whether it be the instructors yelling out insults and commands, the rain pelting down on them during group training, or when it seemed like a rough day for every trainee, the smile you bore never faltered. It was somewhat confusing to him. How could you be so cheerful in this kind of world?
You preferred to hum during chores, the song never being the same each time he honed in from listening in on you. He gave up trying to memorize anything you hummed after the fifth one or so. He then noticed that on occasion when no one was around, you'd pick up the dandelions that grew in the small patches of grass of the camp, braiding them into small rings and wearing them until they fell apart. Reiner managed to pocket one when you accidentally dropped it, not noticing that it was gone. His good luck charm, as he liked to call it.
You liked to help others before focusing on yourself, taking on other people’s chores or taking the blame for things that weren't originally your fault. Reiner thought you were being too nice for your own good. You didn’t fit the type of person that was being used to other people’s advantages but you never seemed to mind.
You weren’t quite the evil Eldian he believed you to be, rather he considered you a fallen angel amongst the devils, led astray from the path you were presumed to take. Perhaps he can make you repent like he was trying to do back home, there was proof that you were worthy to be considered a Marleyan.
And that was the start of it, he knew he should've stopped there once he started to believe you’d be a perfect fit for Marley.
All this constant watching and being everywhere that you were at. Watching your every move and reaction. Taking things of yours that he shouldn't be taking.
Reiner was starting to believe that you were more than what you were leading on, his heart already knowing where his stance was on the subject.
Marriage didn’t seem bad, tying you down to him with a pretty golden band and children… wait, no. The two of you were still young and you were most definitely his enemy… right? But further down in the future… yeah, there's a possibility. A slim one, but one nonetheless.
'•.¸♡ ♡¸.•''•.¸♡ ♡¸.•''•.¸♡ ♡¸.•'
You had begun to take notice of Reiner's staring. There was always such a strange feeling of being watched and you finally had the guts to look around, seeing your old sparring partner just... there. Watching. It was always awkward whenever the two of you accidentally locked eyes, you having to be the first one that breaks contact. Reiner wasn’t a bad guy — from what you knew — but the way he just gazes at you, it gave you the creeps.
You asked Krista once if he seemed off, overhearing whispers among the other trainees of him liking her. Not that you were big on eavesdropping, you simply couldn't help it. She said that there was nothing wrong, maybe he’s just daydreaming and it just happens to be that he’s looking directly at you.
Bullshit, you had once bitterly thought. You wanted to tell him off but Bertolt managed to always drag him away before you could really confront him, so you eventually had forgotten about it.
But there was one thing that you couldn't forget when his friend pulled him away. It was the quick yet intense glare he bore when he glanced back at you. You had nothing against the guy, he may always be skittish, but you never felt like he was a bad person either.
So why did he have to look at you like that?
"Why did you decide to join?"
You jumped, almost tipping the bucket of water you had in your hands. Turning around, you squinted your eyes in the torch-lit night, slowly meeting the gaze of Reiner. Ah, so he finally decided to talk to you.
"A hello first would've been nice. Besides, why do you want to know Braun?" You questioned, placing the water-filled pail down so you wouldn't accidentally spill it on yourself or him.
"Guess you could say it's plain ol' curiosity L/N."
Pulling your lips in a thin line, you zipped it shut with your fingers and shook your head. You weren’t close to the man, hell, the only time you actually spoke to him was the sparring session. Why was he suddenly so interested in you?
“So you won’t say anything about it?” He frowned, putting one of his hands in his pants pocket.
“You have a plethora of answers from the others of what it could be. I could’ve been one of the survivors of the Colossal Titan’s attack. Maybe I’m just looking to join the Military Police for that comfortable life. Perhaps I could be a vengeful orphan just because my family attempted and failed to take back the wall. Whatever the answer could be, it’s all the same for each recruit.” You picked your bucket back up, feeling the liquid slosh around against your arms.
“Is that all you wanted to ask me because I have to take this water back to the kitchen for breakfast tomorrow.”
“No there’s something else,” He moved closer to you, a certain aura emitting as he approached closer. Reiner didn’t seem the type to hurt others without any reason. Even though you didn’t know him, you were acutely aware of his big brother-like personality with the other trainees. “If you could run away from all this, would you?”
“…What?” Confusion muddled your mind and you began to bite the inside of your cheek nervously.
“I’ll repeat it for you. If you could run away from all this, would you?” He asked again and you began to think. All you ever knew was the walls, anything outside of it was just a dangerous hellscape.
“Not really, there’s nothing out there for me. I have my friends and life is good here despite Wall Maria being currently swarmed. What am I even running from anyways Braun, the Titans? There’s just gonna be more out there anyways.” You then started walking in the direction of the dining hall, carefully making sure it wasn’t gonna spill on you.
“What if there was? Imagine an island with no Titans and life is even better there than here. No walls hiding you away from the land, just complete freedom.” You stopped, directing your head towards him. Why did he keep insisting upon the idea of this question? This was the only place in the world where humanity still thrives.
“I would still have to decline, it’ll still be no home of mine. I’d like to someday see the world without Titans but I’d probably be long gone by the time they’re all exterminated. Now goodnight Braun.” You finally walked away, feeling suddenly exhausted. Where was Bertolt when you needed him? Reiner was starting to scare you.
You left the man behind with a mess of thoughts in his head. Reiner did not agree with your mentality nor your standpoint in the matter, but that could change once he and his group bring you to Marley. Once you get there, you’ll see how life is much better than in Paradis. He brushed a quick thumb against a dried petal in his uniform pocket, the material cracking under his touch.
You have no other choice but to like Marley.
'•.¸♡ ♡¸.•''•.¸♡ ♡¸.•''•.¸♡ ♡¸.•'
Never in your life have you thought your whole world could tip upside down again.
In a span of a few days after graduation, Wall Rose had become the same as Wall Maria, the Colossal Titan making its horrid and grand reappearance. The Trost District was a mass gravesite, there weren't enough words to describe your devastation of the lost lives of people you had considered as family. The heavy guilt that washed over you made you believe that if you were just a little more stronger and more decisive with your attacks, you could've — no — you would've saved them.
You threw up off the rooftop, the taste of bitter bile leaving a stain in your mouth. The stench of blood and ash wafted in all directions and it felt like you couldn't get any sicker. The images of your fellow companions getting wailing for help while getting ripped apart limb from limb and eaten alive was enough to keep you dizzy and nauseous.
Your tank was irrevocably damaged and you made the quick decision to isolate yourself to the nearest building as soon as possible before it sputtered out its last remnants, your body colliding into the red tiles.
You wanted to cry. It feels just like years ago but this time, you felt even more powerless than you were when you were a child. Even though you learned the ability to fight these oversized cannibals, you never felt so goddamn weak when dealing with the real thing. What good were you if you weren't able to use your gear?
This is where I die, you had bitterly decided. You let out a light pitiful laugh and knelt down, wiping away the tears that fell. Life was a cruel thing, wasn't it? No matter what, the moment you decided to join the regime was the same day that you would be contracting your life to an early demise. No matter what, you would die.
No matter what. No matter what. No matter what.
Not far from you, earth-shaking thuds grew near and a shadow began to cover over your shaking form. Closing your eyes with a nervous grin, you began to welcome in your godforsaken fate.
If you were unable to save your friends, what more humanity?
"L/N!" God? Was that you?
A splash of warm blood drenched the skin of your face, steam fanning off. The noticeable sound of hissing affirmed that someone sliced the nape of the Titan that was ready to consume you, their boots grinding against the tiles.
"You damn idiot! What do you think you're doing sitting there?!"
You peered through teary eyes, meeting a familiar hazel pair. Your shaky smile quivered downwards, a broken cry slipping out of your mouth as you finally realized that there was someone else alive.
Reiner was surprised, you were a considerably tough person and he believed that nothing could ever break your resilience. You tried to explain yourself to him like a kid that just got in trouble, blubbering out how weak you are and how you couldn't save your squad. It's not like you can look him in the eyes now, you know how disappointed he'd look at you. The girl that was known to be all happy-go-lucky in the 104th Training Corps.
The more you thought about it, the more you ended up breaking down into a complete sobbing mess, hiccupping the words sorry over and over again as you pulled your knees into your chest. Your tears darkened the white cloth of your uniform as you wept, the blood continuing to steam off of your face.
He rested his hand on your shoulder, seeing you cry almost made him regret putting his plan in motion. However, in order for them to retrieve the Founding Titan, they have to do this. There was no other choice in the matter.
"That's enough Y/N. You did your best with what you had. No one was expecting Colossal to come back like this, the least you could do now is honor your fellow fallen soldiers. Ensure that they didn't die for nothing. Don't die like a coward and stand up."
You sniffled as you picked your head up from your knees, wiping off the snot and tears with your jacket sleeve. As much as you didn't want to get up, he was right. How could you face your deceased comrades in the afterlife if you just let yourself die now? How selfish of you to let your life be taken away so easily when they fought so hard in order to fend off the Titans from coming any closer to the escaping civilians.
"My ODM gear broke, the gas cylinder got pierced by a rock I think." You mumbled quietly, voice sore.
"I'll carry you to the others then, we made a discovery in order to get into HQ to replace our supplies. A few of us with enough gas went out to find the unaccounted. I'm glad I found you before that Titan got to you."
The real truth was that Reiner had been panicking ever since he saw that you weren't with the other groups. He was terrified with the idea that he fucked up, the plan being the cause of your death. It was his proposal to locate the missing soldiers, making it seem like he genuinely cared about his fellow recruits. He didn't know what he would've done if he found your rotting corpse, knowing that it was completely his fault.
A miscalculation. A misstep. A mistake.
He put away his blades in its sheaths and lifted you up into his arms, making sure you were secured to him as much as possible. The positioning was awkward due to your gear still being strapped onto your body but it seemed that he didn't mind. You knew already that he was a strong man but for him to just lift you up like nothing even with your gear and his combined, you wondered if he still held back when the two of you sparred. Perhaps you were a little grateful that he did, not ending up with a broken bone at the end of it.
Unbeknownst to you, the man was screaming on the inside as he carefully maneuvered through buildings and rooftops. You closed your eyes each time he made abrupt turns and jumps, pulling yourself closer to his chest. He decided that he liked holding you, there will no longer be a day where he won't have his hands on you. He finally reached the others, seeing that the Abnormal Titan was still beating down the other Titans that were getting in its way and trying to consume it.
"What is that?"
He let you down slowly, the warmth escaping him as you were hypnotized from the scene in front of you. Unlike the other Titans you've seen so far, this Titan was strangely well built and its teeth lined the outside of its mouth. Of course you knew about Abnormals but this one was odd looking and it was unheard of for Titans fighting other Titans. Then again, the walls never broke down before and the only explorers of the outside were the Survey Corps.
"Our ticket into HQ. Look how it's drawing all the attention to itself." Reiner was right yet again. As this Abnormal was punching heads off and screaming, it seemed that the Titans were more interested in it rather than the humans inside. He picked you up once more, telling you to prepare yourself and crashed through the headquarters' window, making sure that none of the glass got on you. The others were relieved that he made it back with another teammate safely, and Armin began to explain the plan to rid of the seven remaining Titans on the inside.
You were put to be one of the gunslingers in the lift, the heavy weight of the rifle causing you to shift it around in your hands. Were you able to look one of these monsters in the eye and manage to incapacitate it?
“Stay back Y/N.”
“Excuse me?” Reiner put his hand on your shoulder once more, shaking his head. Looks like that was going to be a habit now.
“You don’t have to be in the lift, we have enough people already in there.” You scoffed quietly, pushing past him to line yourself up with the others. You broke down once in front of him and now he wants to be your protector. Sure, it was nice of him to be worried about your safety but you trusted him and the others that they'll do their part of the plan without any issues.
“I've made the decision that I'm not going to be a coward Reiner,” He watched you step in and face him, giving him a small smile with a thumbs-up. “And I’m sure as hell not going down as one.”
The lift started its slow descent down and you settled in position, your finger nervously tracing around the trigger. None of you could shoot too early or too late, these guns were difficult to reload and it would lead all of you into an early grave. The heavy tension in the air could be cut with one of the blades and the group in the lift was shuffling around lightly. It would be a lie to say that none of you weren't scared, no one wants to die knowing they're going to be eaten alive.
The lift stopped, the air deathly still. Everyone clicked into position, guns pointed and drawn. Quiet, shaky breathing was the only thing that you heard besides the ground shaking stomps of the giants, their attention landing towards the group.
Someone behind you gasped in surprise as a Titan looked in his vicinity, the voice of Marco telling him to calm down and continue to wait until they were closer. Another person was shaking besides you, her hands unsteady on her weapon and her face pale. Sweat was beginning to accumulate on your forehead and it felt difficult to breathe suddenly.
You looked up with your open eye quickly, seeing Reiner up in the posts with the others. Taking in a deep breath, a burst of confidence ran through your body.
"Ready..." Your finger hovered over the trigger, a giant blue eye staring at you. One more step, just a little closer.
"Fire!" At the sound of Marco's command, you pulled the trigger and shot. The timing of the other soldiers' shots were inconsistent, the sounds of gunfire were deafening, and the smell of gunpowder wafted in the air. Either way, the Titans' eyes were incapacitated and the seven above can finish the job.
Your heart sank as two of them did not falter like the rest, watching Connie fall into the ground and Sasha look up in horror. They didn't cut deep enough and the Titans' eyes had already regenerated from the shots. It wasn't easy trying to kill them without their gear, horror sinking in as the Titans lumbered towards them. Your stomach twisted in knots as one jumped towards her as she apologetically screamed at it and Connie was helplessly backed into a pillar from the other. No one in the lift could do anything to assist them.
You fumbled with your rifle, reaching in your pocket for any more rounds. Luckily, the two most proficient fighters managed to finish them off before anyone else could react and you felt sweet relief as the lift was safely lowered down. Hopefully this would be the last and only time that you'd face a Titan that close without ODM gear. You picked up a new tank and replaced the broken one with it, beginning to stock up on your supplies.
"You alright?" Speak of the devil, here he was once again. You turned your head towards Reiner as he sat down next to you, refilling his tanks.
" 'M fine. You did good out there."
"I could say the same with you, must've been nerve-wracking seeing those things look at you that close."
"Yeah, but you had to jump down without using any of your gear while trying to hit their napes. That's way more difficult than what we did in the lift." He lightly chuckled and dismissively shrugged, saying that it was nothing but he did get nervous with Connie and Sasha. You agreed to that statement, you liked those two and they've always humored you during dinnertime. The two of you sat quietly afterwards until he started to talk again, trying to break the silence.
"Y'know you said my name earlier, not Braun but Reiner." Your cheeks flushed warm, switching the refill to your other tank.
"You did that too, back when you saved me." You attempted to lead him away from what you said, nervously biting your cheek.
"Why did you say it?" Reiner completely ignored you, insisting upon his question more.
"I could say the same to you."
"I only said your last name because you said mine like that when we first met, thought it would be even that way. So Y/N, why did you say my name?" Fuck, he had a point.
Your shoulders slumped in defeat and you sighed, pulling your lips in a line.
"I don't really know. Maybe it was a slip of the tongue in the heat of the moment or I just wanted to say your name for the first time. Just in case anything happened or something..."
Your voice trailed off to a quiet mumble, your face reddening and hot. You didn't mean for it to sound that it was insinuating something, you genuinely appreciated him saving your ass back there and getting your morale back up. It was simply a newfound gain of respect for him. Taking a peek at his expression, you saw that his mouth was slightly agape and he turned his face away from you. Was your response that surprising?!
Embarrassed, you finished refilling your tank and started strapping your gear back on. You apologized quickly, fumbling with your words and speed-walking away to get fresh blade replacements.
'Marriage, marriage, marriage, marriage.' Reiner's thoughts quickly ran through his head, his own cheeks crimson even though he had a firm expression as he watched you walk away. He hoped that you would continue to say his first name, you will have to once he weds you in Marley. But he wouldn't mind if they were replaced with dear or honey, oh he would not mind at all.
Events took a turn once you got out of HQ. It was found out that the Abnormal Titan that was killing off the Titans was Eren Jaeger. Ironic that the vengeful and overtly loud mouthed guy that swore to kill all Titans turned out to be a Titan himself. Though there were many complications — and many lives taken — in trying to complete this mission that Commander Pixis set, Eren managed to seal off the hole in Trost.
Two days later, the more experienced soldiers killed off the remainders and you were set for clean-up of bodies and body parts that littered the streets. It was a heart-wrenching task seeing limbs and partially eaten corpses of both citizen and soldier, most being completely unrecognizable. They were once part of a family. They were sons, daughters, siblings, maybe even parents themselves. Wherever they are now, you hope that they're at peace.
You tugged your cloth mask up more as you looked around for more corpses, walking around until you saw Jean stand still from afar. He was looking at a body, your own eyes widening as you slowly recognized whom it was. Marco Bodt. The guy that commanded the group to shoot a few days prior; if you remembered correctly, he was one of Jean's close friends during training.
You felt sorry for him, he had just found and lost his best friend simultaneously. Not even a minute ago, he was asking around if anyone had seen him, voice desperate for a reassuring answer. This world was so cruel to the ones that didn't deserve it, all of you were just trying to live comfortable lives but it'll never be that way. You turned away from the scene and went off to find another unaccounted for.
What a shame, a damn shame.
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You chose to go into the Survey Corps rather than the Garrison, mostly because you wanted to continue to fight those terrifying beasts in order to avenge the lost lives of your friends during the Battle of Trost. It would give you some kind of peace of mind knowing that you wouldn't hide away from the fight for them. After everything settled down, you befriended Reiner once you were able to catch him alone.
He was... different when you started talking to him more, you couldn't completely tell what it was but there was a feeling you had that he wasn't quite all there. He began to space out on some occasions, coming back down and acting quite odd, as if he was an entirely different person. The invasion was pretty traumatizing for everyone involved so you couldn't blame him for any mental change in his mind. You knew that you weren't definitely the same either, half of your friends had been decimated and nearly witnessing all of them die would never settle right in your mind.
Reiner had become pretty overbearing when it came to you, believing it was because of how you acted in Trost. He started hovering a lot, becoming a burden over your shoulders. He made sure that whatever you do didn't hurt you and if it did seem like a danger, he'd immediately take over. He'd say that he's just thinking about your safety, he'll handle it for you and to not worry, he prefers to do things for others. You could believe that part, you knew Reiner was the altruistic type but it was pretty aggravating when it was a constant all the time.
And just like Bertolt, he never left your side. Sometimes you'd be forced to hang out with the two of them and you didn't really mind, you got to know Bertolt more than the nervous guy he was known to be (plus he had finally stopped glaring at you weirdly). But you could only talk to Bertolt, any other male soldier you could only share short conversations with because Reiner would drag you away from them.
You weren't his lover, you mentioned to him once in a fit, you can freely talk to anyone you want and he has no say in who you could talk to.
You never were able to see the look in his eyes when you said that to him, stomping away angrily past confused scouts. This was one of the fights you had with him, ignoring him for a while until he apologized with how he acted but it would just repeat in a more inconspicuous way. Eventually, you just let him win because nothing you said about it stuck.
He'd handle you like you were fragile glassware and you despised it, you weren't a weak person, you were a damn Survey Corps soldier just like him. You were more than capable of defending and attacking, but for some reason, he still insists and insists that he can do it for you.
There is no reason someone like you should be doing things like this, that alone made you furious. He'd only leave you alone when you were put on cleaning duty or cooking. You wondered if he was like those kinds of people when it came to women but he wasn't like that to the other girls in the Corps, just you.
And yet, despite all these annoyances of his, you still considered Reiner a comforting friend. He'd listen to your rambles of mindless things and give you advice about them, trying to understand where you're coming from. He'd mostly call you a babbling idiot though but would say something stupid in return, which you always called him out for. You'd argue back and forth with smiles on your faces.
When you felt like you were in a slump, he'd pat your shoulder and then talk until you felt better. Or if that didn't work, then he'd tell you to put them up and the two of you would jokingly fight, letting you wrestle him down until your stomach hurt from laughing and the punching. He was most certainly like a big brother, dearly reminding you of your siblings.
You even started giving Reiner your special dandelion rings, seeing him wear them around his left ring finger. Did he know the meaning of that? He had to, he was old enough and his parents must've worn rings around him. You wanted to point it out to him but you'd chicken out, scared that you were gonna insinuate something that wasn't supposed to be interpreted that way.
The two of you were only friends, that was it. That was it, until the moments that led up to the day that you found out that Reiner and Bertolt were never who they really said they were.
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Annie was found to be the Female Titan that killed many of the Corps members during the 57th Expedition, you never had expected her of all people to be a Titan shifter like Eren and a traitor.
For the first time in your friendship, Reiner hugged you. You didn't expect it, thinking that he was simply afraid that you were one of the bodies left behind and was only relieved that you were alive. The height difference between the two of you was quite a bit, he had leaned down and nestled his face into your neck, arms wrapped around you tightly. He was a toasty kind of warm, similar to sitting next to a fire during the winter.
You told him that everything will be alright now that the threat has been neutralized. He mumbled that he was afraid of losing you too, your heart skipping a beat. In response, you tried to ease his mind by promising him that you would never leave his side anytime soon. There was no possibility that you were a shifter like Annie and Eren, absolutely no way.
He was quiet for a moment, finally lifted his head out of the crook of your neck, his eyes intensely staring into yours before softening up. There was a newfound determination that you could faintly see before he pulled away, thanking you for consoling him.
It was odd, like a switch went off in his head.
The final incident came after the capture of Annie, when a handful of soldiers were presumed to be one of her accomplices and put outside of Wall Rose in an abandoned mansion. You weren't a suspect but Reiner and Bertolt were, and the worry started setting in. There wasn't a doubt in mind that you had for them, you could never see them as traitors to humanity.
Reiner did his duties all the time and he was a diligent soldier, he was also a good friend to all other members. Bertolt, though cowardly and needed a push in the right direction sometimes, has always been devoted as a soldier; he did graduate behind Reiner in third place after all.
There was a sudden breach in Wall Rose despite it being completely known to be sealed on the inside. Everyone assumed that another hole had been formed in another place by the Colossal in secret, so squadrons were sent out to scour the area to locate the breach. You were concerned that the suspected group that was contained in the area at the time of the breach had been attacked, anxiety racking your mind.
You overheard some of the soldiers that came from the search mention that there was no hole, saying that whoever saw the Titans must be going crazy.
That wasn't right. The witness reports said that Titans were definitely seen in the interior, they couldn't be wrong. Titans were quite hard to miss, they were quite literally large human things. It was inexplicable but you didn't focus much on it, being told to assist the incoming citizens before searching for the contained group.
You couldn't rack your mind in how many twists and turns you've been through throughout the years, but the Survey Corps finally found the group in a torn apart abandoned castle surrounded by a few more Titans. Ymir was revealed to be another Titan shifter — was anyone else here a Titan shifter because it seemed to be never-ending — but she had seemingly no intent to hurt the others as she saved the group she was with from death.
You found out that Reiner got bit from a Titan, retrieving the injury from pushing one out of the castle through a window. You were half astounded and half terrified with the new knowledge that he was way stronger than you anticipated. You thanked Krista — now actually known as Historia — for taking care of Reiner's injury, scolding him after for putting himself in reckless danger like that.
Assisting the injured on top of Wall Rose, you sighed in exhaustion as you sat next to Ymir's sleeping form with Historia. The past few months have been hectic as ever, did the soldiers before you deal with things like this? Five years ago and beyond that, there were no such thing as shifters or breaches in the walls. It would simply be incomprehensible back then that such a thing would’ve existed.
You turned your head in the direction of Reiner and Bertolt who were occupied with speaking to Eren. You weren't able to hear what they were saying until Reiner started to raise his voice, scrunching your eyebrows together.
Something was off. He was rambling, looking like he had completely lost it. Bertolt looked horrified, Eren was nervously laughing. Reiner... what was he talking about?
Mikasa suddenly slashed at the two, cutting Reiner's hand off and slitting Bertolt's neck. You almost screamed in shock, shooting up onto your feet until steam came off of them, an all too familiar occurrence that only happened to… Titans.
Sudden bright flashes of lights blinded you and lit up the wall with a threatening intensity, hot steam nearly blew you off your feet before you quickly latched yourself onto the wall with your gear. To your horror, the Colossal and Armored Titan formed right in front of your eyes and everything you had once known about them shattered to bits.
Reiner had grabbed ahold of Eren as he fell off the wall and Bertolt's monstrous half remained on top, hand reaching towards Ymir. The shock of seeing the monster that destroyed your home years ago was really your friend in disguise caused you to freeze up the second he grabbed her.
You thought you could trust them, you had high hopes that they weren't bad people like how the higher-ups thought they were. They were liars, they lied to everyone and they broke your trust, more so yours with Reiner. He was terrible, truly terrible.
You snapped back to reality as his gigantic hand wrapped around you — the still-passed out girl in his other fist — a scream ripping out of your throat. You struggled and banged your fists against the burning hot flesh of his hand, beginning to beg for Bertolt to not consume you. It fell on deaf ears as he opened his mouth, your eyes wide with horror.
The last thought you had as you and Ymir were dropped in was that you'd never forgive them for this, you'll never forget what they have done.
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