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*firebombs your dashboard*
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Ryan Reynolds was on the run from an insanely large alien bug that kept eating him alive. Every time he was eaten whole, he would come back but one less person remembered him and anything he did.
I got excited after seeing him on the street, and he realized I was one of the last to remember him. I had to help him lure the bug under the ocean or to top of a mountain in order to make it more vulnerable so he wouldn't have to find out what happened if he was eaten two more times.
I failed and watched myself forget him and the information about the bug, because he told me about everything before.
I tried to help when I noticed a monster was chasing a dude, but I was slow and dumb.
He didn't make it back after he was eaten again.
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Ok so for those who didn't see the news, recently 5 rich people went “””missing””” (they're totally fucking dead) in a “Titanic tourist submarine”, basically made as a way rich people can tour (what's left of) the Titanic's wreckage for a small fee of $250,000 per person.
Anyways, setting aside the horrific implications of dying in a submarine at 13,000 feet (~4km) below sea level, the more I learn about this entire situation the more I become morbidly...amused??
so for starters, the submarine was literally the submarine from Iron Lung. its a metal cylinder with one singular porthole at the front of the vessel that is bolted shut from the outside, and has no seats, its literally just a cylinder
the second thing you need to know is that this thing was wireless, as in it was being controlled from the surface and the people inside had no control, which is concerning in multiple ways because a ship this scuffed should have a safety cable leading to the “mothership” (basically if you've ever watched ocean documentaries and they always have that long cable attached to the sub, that's for in case the wireless control fucks up and they need it to be wired)
what makes this little fact so much more morbidly funny is that this thing was controlled using the remains of a Logitech Gamepad controller from ~2004/2005, a controller notorious for being one of the most clunky pieces of gaming equipment ever designed. so clunky in fact that few people even recognized it, originally mistaking it to be a combination of an Xbox 360 and a PS1 controller. estimated price of $30.
“but Fortune” I hear a very few of you asking, “it shouldn't matter what its controlled with, as long as the connection is good”
and to that my dear reader you would be correct! there are indeed submarines out there controlled with even simple joysticks, and using game controllers to control stuff like this isn't new (why do you think army recruiters prey on low GPA high school gamers to fly drones)
no you see the issue comes when you realize that what this sub was using to transmit controls. was fucking. STARLINK.
Yes, that's correct, Starlink, the service that can barely do its job on land was being used to transmit data through 2.5 miles (4km) of water, at a depth where anything that isn't highly pressurized is crushed instantly
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And at the end of this, if some of you still feel bad for the rich people who spent a quarter of a million dollars to get bolted into a metal cylinder with no seats and a singular porthole that was being controlled by Elon Musk's barely functioning wireless service and one of the most notoriously clunky gaming controllers of all time that was probably bought from a thrift store, just know that it was most likely over quick.
The likely thing that ended up happening was cabin depressurization, and at such a depth this means they were knocked unconscious by the rapid loss of pressure in the vessel almost instantly, and then shortly thereafter crushed by the weight of the ocean around them.
Scientifically speaking, they were likely dead so fast that the brain likely couldn't even comprehend what was happening, the most they would've felt is a little pop in their ears for a fraction of a second.
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Ok but like if they all came back to life, I feel like it could go one of two directions with how the choir reacts afterward
They could either never bring up what happened with Karnak because it was like too painful or something
Or it could go in the complete opposite direction with them constantly bringing up what happened, usually to make fun of each other
Like one day this one teacher is being a huge jackass so when the teacher asks if they have any fun facts they’d like to share with the class Noel just stands up and goes “When a lioness has children-“
Ocean and Constance are desperately trying not to laugh
Mischa makes it a personal game to call as many people as possible a spielverderber
Somebody is talking for a really long time during a presentation and when it’s over Ricky just signs “And that is why not everyone should have a library card!” while Mischa just tries to not burst out laughing
Penny will sometimes recite Ricky’s Silver Surfer speech just so she can laugh about it later when people are like “Wow. So deep 🥲”
Sometimes you’ll just hear one of them humming everyone’s songs
The funniest time this has happened is when Noel caught Ocean humming “This Song Is Awesome”
Constance bakes everyone Zolar themed cupcakes and they’re so good
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nsfw prompt 9 with armin
˗ˏˋ꒰ 🍒 ꒱
ARMIN x AFAB!gn!reader
Overview; Armin's obsessed after his first time with you
Warnings; 🔞MDNI, SMUT
Smut warnings; pn 'pretty boy' (for Armin), unprotected sex, creampie, multiple orgasms (Armin), kinda sub!Armin with a touch of begging
Armin's been following you around like a whiny, needy puppy all day with a lustful look in his eyes.
He rubs up on you, you can feel his cock straining against his jeans — he's so painfully hard. He needs to fuck you so desperately that it's all he can think about.
"Min, I've got to work." you giggle as he presses wet kisses up your neck.
You can feel how horny he is; it's basically the only feeling he radiates.
"But – but can't we just have a quickie?" he pouted, pawing at your skirt. "Please?"
You hummed in thought. He started begging when you took too long to answer. "C'mon, please. I'll do anything for it. Just touch me. Pretty please?"
"M'kay, but five minutes, then I get back to work, okay?"
Armin nodded very quickly, eagerly scooping you up and carrying you to the bedroom. Yes, literally carrying. You weren't aware that he was able to do that until now, it's a first.
Before you can speak again, his lips smash onto yours. Through feverish kisses, he's tearing off his clothes, feeling up your body.
He can't wait to sink his cute cock into you. When he finally gets what he wants, he lets out a sigh and nearly busts on the spot.
"Oh my god, 'feels even better the second time." he said, bottoming out without realizing. "You're so wet, so wet. I-I can't believe you're wet for me." he breathed in disbelief.
Just like the first time he sunk his cock into your pussy, he's focusing hard on the way your tight ring of muscle clings and sucks on him.
He lets out a throaty moan and hides his face into your neck. A creamy release fills you up. "Min, did you just cum?"
"I'm sorry." he apologies shakily, beginning to thrust in and out only now. "It felt too good."
"That's so cute."
His cheeks are flushed, so is his whole body. There's nothing in the world that can tear him away from you when he's in this sex-crazed state. Literally nothing. He wants you and only you.
"Lemme cum again, please." he begged. You couldn't refuse when he used that whiny, whimpering voice on you.
"Sure, pretty boy, go ahead."
He whimpers, fucking you full of his sensitive cock. His mushroom tip stubbornly rubs against your G-spot. "Ah, fuck, thank you. Thank you." he moans breathily, going faster and faster until he fills you up again.
He's insatiable. Forget work, he's got you in his bed now. There's no way he'll let you go without completely emptying himself inside your sweet pussy.
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boo
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I really love how every part of the angular roughsharks’ name describes it perfectly. In a world with so many animal names that sre just conglomerations of other animal names, its nice to have something so perfectly descriptive.
Angular ✔️
Rough ✔️
Shark ✔️
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I had to hold a piece of lava (it didn't hurt), and if I dropped it the world would end. So I tripped on the stairs, dropped my lava, and the world imploded into a giant, dark, stormy ocean. I was in a giant wooden teacup with a giant wooden spoon for an oar, trying to paddle while avoiding being eaten by the two velociraptors in the teacup with me.
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a sea monster meets a sea monster,,
the power of friendship didnt prevail :( (but the power of protecting ur pirate husband prevailed in helping u kick ass, so there's that)
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ocean blue eyes, lookin' in mine [x]
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