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halcyone-of-the-sea · 6 months

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Omg I am in love with your writing, I want to eat it-

A humble request for a Soap Drabble-

In the aftermath of a mission where Reader is kidnapped and tortured for information (the 141 saved them) Reader seems like her usual sunshine self, like she wasn’t just beaten within an inch of her life. Some accident happens while everyone is hanging out that triggers a flashback. Reader feels like she has to escape the base facility where she’s being held and the 141 chases reader, not knowing that it’s making it worse-

Basically a PTSD episode that leaves reader going all Rambo and Soap calms her down- lots of Hurt/Comfort and hugs :)

—Find Me

⇢ ˗ˏˋ 5k Drabble Masterlist ࿐ྂ

╰┈➤ ❝ [You're finally back in One-Four-One's hands, but that doesn't mean you're saved. Johnny tracks you down after a violent episode.] ❞

The worst part is that you don’t even remember most of it. By whatever coping mechanism that you’d been cursed with, all you can bring forward is snippets. The doctors tell you it’s a blessing in disguise, of course—if you remembered how they had broken you over, and over, and over again, you would be…unrecognizable.

But not knowing and having this paranoia in the back of your skull was far worse than guessing where the new scars started and ended; how they got there in the first place.

It was like everything was one second away from falling apart again.

Sitting in the rec room on base, you may have managed to fool the therapists and pass through the medical evaluation, but you can’t, not for one minute, fool Johnny.

It started with a casual comment.

“We don’t have to be here, y’know?” The Scot had said. “Let’s just go someplace a bit quieter, aye, Dearie? It’s gettin’ late out.”

You had sent him a side-eye, your arms crossed. It had been wrong to ignore the pound of your heart like that—to ignore how your skin was sweaty and your voice shook as you spoke above the laughing of fellow soldiers.

But you had to keep the act up. Even with him.

“It’s nothing, Soap,” you ease. “We’re all here to have a good time. I’m fine.”

Those cobalt blues were tight, worried. Every part of his face was tight with concern as his feet shuffled, elbow moving back to the table behind the two of you.

“You’re not actin’ right, Little Lady,” he mutters, his jaw clenching as he watches you closely. “There’s no shame in it—”

“Would you just quit it, Johnny,” you snap, looking over sharply. “God, I’m not gonna break apart like some weak bitch, okay?”

He’s quick to clarify, hand moving up in a display you would use for a feral animal. “I never meant it like that.”

Your head turns away, and you roll your eyes. Simon and Price watch closely from the corner of the room, their conversation from previous falling silent.

But you couldn’t have accounted for the way Gaz strolled past, or how the soldier was walking back over from the pool table, swinging his cue stick in some wide arch to mess around with his friends.

But you also couldn’t have accounted for the sudden flash you’d have to the breaking of bottles over your head—of glass being ripped out of your shredded flesh and thrown to the ground.

Your body seizes up as Gaz’s cup shatters, and your eyes all at once go far away.

Johnny’s shocked face had snapped to the scene in front of him, blinking quickly as he stood and was about to go get a broom.

“Best watch where you’re swingin’ that thing there, eh?” He says to the soldier who looks highly embarrassed, Gaz frowning down at the remnants.

“Oi!” Everyone’s eyes dart to Ghost’s outburst, but he’s not addressing anyone left in the room—the Lieutenant dashes out of the hallway, Price hot in his heels.

Johnny turns back and you’re gone.

Racing away, your blood is hot and rabid, taking corners with record speed; the pounding feet behind you don’t help, the shouts. Every moment you try to get your head under control the sounds make it worse.

You end up outside, lost in the trees as the branches slap your face and body—running with no destination, no thoughts. And you just keep going. Panting, your stomach is stuck in knots, and your aching legs shake until you fall over and heave into the grass; sobs breaking through. Your lungs can’t get air down.

You don’t know how long you were out there, you don’t know how long it took for Johnny to find you, but when he did you heard his quick call of your name—his desperate plea for you to breathe when he grappled for your shoulders.

Your eyes stare blankly at him, gone to all else but your ringing ears.

Hands cup your cheeks.

“Hey, it’s me, Bonnie,” he rubs along your flesh, petting your skin with his thumb. You’ve never seen his eyes so afraid before. “Hey now, hey. Come back to me, we’re both right here—just focus on me. You’re back home, then, aye? Back with me on Base. There’s nothin’ that’s going to happen to you long as I’m here. I made that promise, yeah? I intend to keep it.”

His voice is grounding for you—for your failing body as your addled mind tries to calm down.

Johnny.

You pull on that shred of remembrance of when he’d found you, beaten within an inch of your life. His tiny pupils, stuck in a sea of deep blue. His callouses holding you to him as he raggedly breathed into your hair, screaming for med-evac.

“That’s it, Dearie,” right here, right now, you sag forward. Widened eyes quiver as your lower face is pressed into his shoulder, Johnny’s hand hard on the back of your head. “That’s it—it’s just Johnny.” The man is shaking just like you are, even when your wheezed sobs make his chest tighten painfully. How your hands weakly grasp at his shirt in desperation; clawing for purchase.

“It’ll always just be me.” Soap breathes, swallowing the saliva in his throat. “I’m gonna get you all the help you need….you bet on it. You’re going to be better, and I’m going to be with you through all of it.”

The side of his face nuzzles into yours as you breathe in his scent, choking on the air but slowly starting to get it down.

“No one fights alone.”

“Johnny,” you gasp.

“Shush, now,” he whispers, wrenching his eyes shut. “I’m here. Breathe. I’m here.”

“It hurts.” Your tears soak through his shirt, and his arms hold you tighter until he reminds himself to be gentle.

All he can do is try to hold back his own tears, his throat raw from his mad dash after you—he’d never run that fast in his life besides the moment he’d found you alive.

“I know,” his voice cracks, rocking you back and forth like a child. “I know, m’sorry, Dearie. I’m so, so sorry.”

“Don’t let go,” you plead. “Please don’t let go.”

“Never,” he growls. “Never in my life.” He says it with every ounce of goodness left in him.

“I’m never lettin’ you go ever again, aye? They’ll have to pry me off you.”

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mahoushojo-chan · 6 months

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Astarion x Tav || Anxiety Attack

gonna be right by your side (no matter what)

synopsis: he's never seen her look so frightened before. she trembles slightly, keeping her hands close to her body. she doesn’t even meet astarion’s gaze. it’s as if she's still focused on the creature, even though it's no longer within her line of sight. her breaths begin to come in starts, and his senses can hear her pulse skyrocketing.

an excerpt of “’cause my love (is mine, all mine)”

word count: 1739

pairing: astarion/tav

other tags: f!reader, bard!tav, hurt/comfort, light angst, non-sexual intimacy, romantic tension, friends to lovers, panic attack comfort, magically induced anxiety attack, song inspo: No Matter What by Zach Callison and Michaela Dietz

ao3: here

concept: panic attack comfort

After hours of traversing the dangerous depths of the Underdark, it finally dawns on Tav that the subterranean caves aren’t exactly suitable for a two-person adventuring party consisting of a bard and her dashing rogue companion. In the process, Tav has expended all her spell slots, save for two level one spells, and has endured not only physical damage, but psychological damage from the amount of whining that Astarion is putting her through.

“Gods, I truly hate it down here. Darling, let’s set a goal to live in a nice, lavish palace full of pointless luxuries.” Astarion insists, and almost enjoys the implication of living with each other in the future enough to forgive his incessant complaints. Almost.

She bites her tongue, because she figures it’s hard enough to give up life in the sun for a darkness he doesn’t truly care for. She’ll pester him about it later, but she knows the wound is still fresh for him right now.

It’s late into—well, it’s rather difficult to tell what the time is. Tav considers taking one more short rest, but she knows that they’re almost there.

“You know, I’ve actually never been to this place.” He says, now that they’re near enough to look for the entrance. Cazador’s entrance to the Underdark lead to some old vampire’s keep, located just to the east of Baldur’s Gate, auspiciously under the Fields of the Dead. “I wonder what wonders could be inside—hm?”

He stops when he notices Tav isn’t moving and narrows his eyes to try to see what she’s looking at. Though Astarion possesses keen night vision, the initial sight is somewhat obscure. At first, it appears as a mere silhouette, and in the Underdark, it's impossible to be wary of every peculiar shadow. Yet, after a moment, he discerns distinct horned features, and the shadowy form takes on the semblance of a horned humanoid, its eyes oozing pure horror, and it points a finger at them.

“Hells.” Astarion mutters, instinctively switching to disengage stealthily. He ducks behind the last corner they came from, and expects Tav to follow—before he turns to see her still rooted firmly in place.

“What are you doing? Get over here, quickly!” He hisses at her, but rather uncharacteristically, she doesn’t respond. He’s used to her fearless antics, and this does look like something she’d be rather interested in, but there’s only so much stupidity he’s able to take. Out of options, he grabs the back of her cloak and pulls, successfully tugging her behind the corner. “Are you insane?” He snaps, but the second he turns his attention away from the creature and towards Tav, he immediately freezes.

He's never seen her look so frightened before. She trembles slightly, keeping her hands close to her body. She doesn’t even meet Astarion’s gaze. It’s as if she's still focused on the creature, even though it's no longer within her line of sight. Her breaths begin to come in starts, and his senses can hear her pulse skyrocketing.

“Breathe, darling.” He instructs, but she isn’t listening to him—more importantly, she still isn’t moving. It’s not that he doesn’t want to comfort her, but he’s pretty sure the monster, whatever it is, is still slowly stalking towards them.

Quickly, as a last-ditch effort, he hoists her onto his back. She’s still heavy, and she’s slowing him down. Even if it might be faster to hide her and look for the entrance himself, when she stutters, “’Starion?” In that quiet, uncharacteristically weak voice, he knows he can’t leave her.

“Right here, my sweet, right here.” He reassures quietly, still looking for the entrance while trying to keep out of the creature’s sight. At the very least, it didn’t seem very perceptive.

Eventually, he sees a crack of firelight in the wall—just enough to reveal concrete slabs behind the layers of rock, and enough to illuminate the edges of a wooden door. He quickly dashes towards it and pries the door open, entering and putting her down before closing the door behind him. He looks through the iron keyhole to see if the monster will pass, but a voice breaks his concentration.

“Astarion,” Dalyria says, sounding relieved.

“Shh.” He dismisses. “There’s something outside.”

Dalyria stays silent for a moment before recognition tinges her voice. “Ah. You mean the Nightwalker. It’s okay, it hasn’t bothered any of us. It seems if we stay out of its way, it won’t go out of its way to hurt us. It’s been a bit of a relief if anything.” She tells him, but Astarion isn’t reassured quite yet. They had stayed well out of its way, and it seemed to target them still.

Still, seeing that the creature has at least stopped chasing them down, Astarion finally ducks down towards Tav, seeing her state once again. He knows something is wrong with her, and not something natural. She was normally fearless—and while he knew that wasn’t entirely true, it was too sudden for her to completely cower at some unknown, shadowy figure when she had faced devils and shades more fearsome than the creature they encountered. He knows it must have done something to her, but now that they are in relative safety, he just needs her to breathe, gods damn it.

“Is she alright?” Dalyria asks, trying to peer over Astarion’s shoulder to see Tav. His first instinct is to bristle, but he knows that out of all his siblings, Dalyria is probably the best to take a look at her.

A little reluctantly, he steps aside. Dalyria observes her for a moment, and takes her hand, but Tav immediately withdraws as though burned. She still can’t speak, but Dalyria discerns, “I wonder if this is its effect on the living.”

“And? Your verdict? What are we supposed to do?” He snaps, but he can’t stand to look at her shivering form anymore, so he turns away.

“You may just have to wait it out,” Dalyria accepts. “I could attempt to heal a physical ailment, but this seems mostly mental. If it’s magically induced, though, it shouldn’t last very long once it’s out of her sight.”

Astarion curses under his breath. He ducks down, and peers at Tav again. Her face is pressed into her hands, and her knees are tucked in. It seems to be more grounding behaviour than anything else. He takes her side.

“Where is everyone else?” He asks Dal, but he doesn’t take his gaze off Tav.

“They’re trying to calm the other spawn. It’s turmoil out there. So many of them… they haven’t been free in forever. Trying to reel them all in feels impossible.” She sighs. “I only came to check in on you. Should I… leave you, for a moment?” She asks, looking at his companion again.

He heaves a hefty sigh. They had finally come all this way, but… “For now.” He reassures, partially to himself. He glances over his shoulder. “We’ve prepared supplies, but we weren’t able to carry all of it here. The rest should be at the entrance to Cazador’s castle. You can use them as rations for now.”

Dalyria nods in understanding. “I’ll tell the others,” she assures him. “Then, once everyone has fed… please come to us then. We’ll be waiting in the dining room. All of us.”

He doesn’t respond, even as she shuts the door. Instead, he turns his attention back to Tav. He’s glad he can speak freely without revealing too much of themselves. He sighs dramatically. “Come now, love, this doesn’t suit you at all. Stop this, you’re being ridiculous.”

He’s hoping to provoke her into responding, but it seems the magically-induced fright is not something that can just be taunted away. It’s difficult, because he knows if he were under such an effect, she would be able to ward it off immediately. In fact, it was one of her special skills to divert charms and fears with her own.

“What’s that song you normally sing? The song about Heroism, with some drivel less about heroes and more about some saccharine ‘love and friendship’ and whatnot?” He asks, hoping to trigger her memory. She stirs, but it looks more like she’s withdrawing further into herself.

As a last ditch effort, Astarion begins to hum what he knows of the melody. It’s terrible and off-key, and he’s not even sure he’s remembering more than the chorus. To grab her attention, he drums his fingers on the top of her head playfully, approximately to the rhythm of the song that he remembers.

He continues humming, stopping ever so often to prompt her to continue. Eventually, in a shaky, unsupported, quiet mutter, she sings the lyrics to the song as a call-and-response.

Encouragingly, he perks up immediately. He continues his humming, and as they continue, she switches from call-and-response to providing the actual lyrics to the section he hums. She finally raises her head—ever so slightly—to meet his eyes.

When she continues, she continues with the melody, a little more confidently. She takes the opportunity to hold his hands, gripping both his hands with hers. He lets her continue the song on her own, and her fear seems to be dissipating. She garnishes her performance with pretty runs and vibratos, but then she looks at him expectantly—this time, she wants him to follow her lead, and she seems to be expecting more than humming.

Softly, she switches to a quiet new verse of the song, “With all that you were,” she sings.

“With all that you were,” he responds, though it’s more of him talking with a lilt than singing.

“With all that you’ll be,” she adds.

“With all that you’ll be,”

“With all that you’ve won and lost,”

He thinks he understands what she’s singing about. “With all that you’ve won and lost,”

“You will always have me.” She ends the song.

“You will always have me.” He replies, and he sounds fond, though he isn’t sure whether she’s trying to find reassurance in him or give reassurance to him.

At the end, she hangs her head to stabilize herself once more. He opens his mouth to let out a quip, but she speaks first.

“I’m sorry, Star, I just need a second—"

“As cute as you are all teary and needy, you’re absurd if you’re apologizing to me.” He clicks his tongue in disapproval. Then, more comfortingly, adds, “I’ve got you. We’ve got each other."

#tw: panic attack #magically induced panic attacks #mahoufiction #writing #baldur's gate 3 #astarion x reader #astarion x tav #astarion x mc #astarion romance #bg3 #astarion fic #writing prompt #hurt/comfort #fanfic #friends to lovers #angst

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irondadmadlads · 4 months

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Irondad Prompt #202:

Tony: Buddy, that looked like you had a panic attack… a severe one too…

Peter: …me??

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ashdreams2023 · 5 months

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Hey can you please make the reader have a panic attack and loki finds him ane he help her like?

Hold my hand and breath

Tw: panic attack

Loki knew something was wrong, your room was empty and your favorite music was playing outside, it was unlike you to miss an event like this, especially after a big win for the team.

He had to find you, find you before you did something you will regret later, find you before it’s too late.

Loki heard his own heartbeat with each step he took, with each corner he looked and didn’t find you, your favorite song played in the background and made it feel like a fever dream.

By the empty pool, in a dark corner, away from the lights and sound he found you, curled up in yourself and covering your ears.

"Dove…"

You sniffed shaking slightly, hiding your face in your arms now.

Loki kneeled down then looked around you, he spotted your bag thrown to the side and grabbed it, he opened it and grabbed your stress toy out and sat beside you.

His arms warped around your shoulders and his lips pressed to your ears "breath to the beating of my heart, just focus on that, don’t think about anything else" he pressed your head to his chest, Loki’s heartbeat was slow but that was natural, his body was cold and the blood flow took time.

The sounds faded and the moon shined brightly in the sky, there was no stars to look at and for a minute all could heard was your rabid breathing slowing down.

He placed the stress you in one of your hands and grabbed your hand hands in his.

"Just hold my hand and breath"

Your eyes finally opened, you stared into nothing, pressing your cheek to his chest, slowly falling back into reality.

Loki wiped the few tears left from your panic, pushed your hair away from your face and kissed your forehead, he held you delicately, so close to his heart where you belong.

"Loki…please never leave me" you finally spoke, voice rough and throat dry but to him you sounded angelic.

"I’ll never leave you, and even when I’m gone, know that I’ll always watch out for from above"

"From Valhalla?"

He chuckled "Maybe…and maybe something similar"

"What if I go with you?" Loki shook his head and rubbed your arm "No dove, there will be a time and place where we will meet again but until then, don’t rush and let us enjoy the memories we are creating"

#tw: panic attack #imagine #mcu #loki laufeyson #loki #loki x reader #loki imagine #fanfic #mcu loki #loki/y/n #headcanon #loki comfort #loki fluff #loki layfeyson x reader

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8um8le · 7 months

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Now that I saw sad Moon… and earlier there was the sad Sun, I was wondering… does Sun/Moon ever had panic attacks? If yes, how did they comfort each other? Sorry if that’s a bad question…

Fortunately Moon doesn’t get them, but Sunny sadly experiences it sometimes, and at random too. It’s mostly because of too much built-up stress

Moon will be there most of the time to comfort him (i mean they live together), he can soothe him by reassuring him, and over all keeping him company till he can finally go back to thinking more rationally <33

#stellar city #tw: panic attack

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nptnewr · 1 year

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141 + Alejandro, Rudy, and König when fem!reader has a panic attack

A/N: I am so sorry to hear about your panic attack, i hope you are doing better now <3

Characters: Simon ‘Ghost’ Riley, John "Soap" MacTavish, John Price, Kyle 'Gaz' Garrick, Alejandro Vargas, Rodolfo Parra, and König

Pronouns used: She/Her

Warnings: MAJOR TW: panic attack, mention of severe anxiety

do NOT follow me unless you are 18+, all ageless or blank blogs will be blocked!

You can feel the increased breath while you walk the halls of the base you’re currently at

The whole day you could feel the heaviness in your chest get worse and worse

When you were yelled at by a superior it reached its peak

Trying to hold your tears back, you barely make it into a room you think is your own

Not even bothering to close the door, you fell to the ground below you as you simply felt like you couldn’t breathe

You couldn’t recognize anything around you, the only thing you could focus on was the thoughts running rapidly in your head

You couldn’t even notice it wasn’t your room at all…

Simon

Simon has had his fair share of panic attacks, not that he would tell anyone

So when he found you in his room curled up hyperventilating, he simply sat beside you

He kept repeating several things, such as

“Keep breathing”

“It’s alright, kid”

“Good girl, just keep breathing deep”

Once you were settled enough to send a shaky hand his way, he caught the hand and rubbed your back as best he could

He asks if you want to talk about it

He’ll let you vent if you need to, but if you don’t that’s fine with him

Simon’s not good at a lot, but he tries his best to be there for you when he can

Soap

Johnny would hear your loud breathing from outside his door

Mentally preparing himself, he takes a deep breath before coming in and sitting beside you

I honestly see him as the type of maybe hum a tune or something that you can focus your mind on rather than the panic attack

He would keep encouraging you to focus on his voice, and to breathe while you do so

After your breathing returns to normal, he would ask you questions about your day, trying to get your mind off of everything

Johnny does not leave until he has heard you laugh at least twice, and even then he may ask if you want to stay in his room for a while

Price

Price knows exactly what to do during a situation like this, as he’s seen a lot of his fellow soldiers deal with their anxieties and PTSD

Kneeling beside you once he’s in his room, he takes one of your hands and places it where his heart is

He looks at you while he breathes and asks if you can do the same

It takes a few tries, but eventually, you slow your breathing, and that’s when Price begins to as you what you can see around the room, what you can hear, what you can touch…

By the end of the questions, you have calmed down enough to engulf your captain in a bear hug

He simply responds as best he can, with a light pat on your back and a tussle of your hair

Gaz

Gaz is concerned when he walks into his room to find you in a state of panic on his floor

His immediate reaction is to ask you if you’re okay, but when you don’t react he sinks to the floor beside you

Honestly, he’s just as freaked out as you are, but he’s trying his best to stay calm and help you

The only thing Gaz can think of is talking to you about his day

What he ate for breakfast, where he went to train, how he ran four miles, anything and everything

When you finally calm down enough to look at him, he asks again if you’re okay, and doesn’t expect an answer even if you give him one

Alejandro

Alejandro rushes towards you when he sees you crumble into his room

His hand is steady on your back as you heave into his arms, seemingly unable to get a breath of fresh air

He makes sure to reassure you with his hand placed on your back as he tries to get you to breathe with him

After you calm down, he makes sure you are okay before pulling you into a soft hug

He worries about you, no matter what he is always there for you

Later that day, you are found sneaking out of Alejandro’s room with a large blanket wrapped around you

Rudy

Rudy hears your heavy breathing before he sees you

When he sees you, he softly ushers you into his arms, whispering soft reassurances while you wet his shirt with your tears, not that he cares

He presses you further into his shirt while you begin to breathe more steadily

Rudy is a big fan of music, so with one hand he opens his phone, putting on some soft music as you continue to lay in his arms

Once you have calmed down, he may ask you what happened, or he may just continue to hum along to a song he likes

König

König is worried when he hears heavy breathing from his room

When he sees you in his room cuddled up, having a panic attack, his heart breaks

He immediately wants to scoop you up in his arms, but he decides to just slowly lower down to you

In a hushed voice, he reminds you that you are in his room and that nothing can hurt you when he is there with you

After you take a moment to calm down, you look up to see the giant man in front of you, causing you to smile softly

His heart flutters when he knows you are okay, and lets you know that you can stay in his room as long as you want

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zimthandmade · 6 months

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Are y'all ready to sob with me?! 🥲 I know this is really over the top and I feel the need to apologise for putting those two in this scenario. Though we could all use some more honest emotional intimacy sometimes, no? I hope you all feel that hug 💙 And man, I bet those salty tears burn like acid on the healing tissue.

Explanation for the conversation at the end: I have this headcanon that ever since they found that gun, Mellos last line of defense for EVERY plan is "If everything goes south, I'll just shoot us outta there" and that line became something of an inside joke between them.

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harveywritings92 · 1 year

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[Busty reader! Ghost notices R/n has been very frugal lately and is worried.]

Ghost: R/n, are you having money troubles?

R/n: Not particularly why do you ask?

Ghost: I just noticed you’ve been pinching yer pennies lately, if you need help just tell me.

R/n, flustered: I don’t know what you-

Ghost: Remember who yer talking to, love, I’m not fond of liars. Now, what’s going on?

R/n: I’ve been saving for a surgery...

Ghost: Surgery? Are you sick?

R/n: Not that kind of surgery.... It’s surgery for my boobs, They’re too big! I want them smaller, Simon, t-they hurt my back, my shoulders I can’t get comfortable sleeping! (hyperventilating) I can’t take the jokes anymore and the staring, n-no one takes me seriously!

Ghost: R/n, R/n! Calm down! *starts rubbing her back* It’s fine, it’s alright. I’m not upset!

R/n: You’re not?

Ghost: No, why would I? It’s your body. Do what makes you comfortable, if your chest’s been making you unhappy? Than go ahead, I won’t stop you... Why would you think I’d go against you?

[R/n tells Ghost about her Ex-boyfriend who threw a big fit when she told him she was thinking of of getting a breast reduction. He shamed R/n, would gaslight her; made her feel like absolute crap for even suggesting such a thing! Then he stole all of R/n’s surgery money that she’d saved up and ran off with someone else, that’s why she was acting guarded and reluctant to tell Ghost about it, out of fear he’d had the same reaction.]

Ghost, with restrained rage: *sharp breath* I see....

R/n: Are sure you’re not mad at me?

Ghost: No, as I said. It’s your body. Do what makes you comfortable.

Ghost:...

Ghost: Just out of curiosity, do you know where that shithead ran off to?

R/n: *Shakes head*

Ghost: Y’know what? forget I asked, how much money do you still need?

R/n: Simon, you don’t have to-

Ghost: You’re right. I don’t have to, but I want to. Now, how much do you need?

(While they’re discussing the surgery cost, Ghost makes a mental note that he’s going to find Ex/n and will make it so that the shithead will be sucking all of his meals through a straw by the time he’s done with him.)

#call of duty modern warfare incorrect quotes #call of duty modern warfare 2022 #cod mw ghost #simon riley x reader #simon ghost riley x reader #afab reader #tw: panic attack #tw: past abuse

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piratekane · 1 year

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7! Ava telling Bea that🫠🫠

seven: look at me. just breathe.

Ava looks small. She always has, despite feeling larger than life. But in a wide hospital bed with wires running from her body to the various beeping machines, she looks smaller than she did before she slipped through the Arc.

Before you sent her through it.

Beatrice stands at the edge of the doorway, wringing her hands as Jillian flutters around Ava with purposeful hands. Ava looks tired, but impossibly cheerful as Jillian puts another electrode pad on her exposed skin. She keeps stealing glances at the doorway, keeps ducking her head to meet Beatrice’s eyes, and always frowning a little when Beatrice gives nothing away.

She’s afraid to step forward, afraid to meet Ava’s eyes. What if this is a dream? What if she’s fallen asleep and woken up in a dream world where everything has magically fallen into place? Ava escaping Reya’s realm the moment Beatrice crosses the threshold of Cat’s Cradle? It’s too… perfect. It slots together too neatly.

She can’t cross the threshold because she might wake up in a hotel room somewhere - Cinque Terre, Faro, Lisbon - and this has all been a trick of the mind, a quiet torturous place her mind has found.

“Beatrice?”

Jillian touches her arm gently, trying not to startle her. Beatrice holds onto herself, a sharp inhale the only thing that gives her surprise away. But either Jillian doesn’t hear or she’s too kind to bring attention to it. She simply gives Beatrice a kind smile and slight tilt of her head. A quiet, she’s asking for you.

Beatrice searches for the part of her that’s always stood tall in the face of adversity. It wasn’t always there, grown out of a necessity, but it activates now as she takes that first step into the room on feet that feel steadier than her heart does. The live wire edge in her chest fizzles a little when she sees the way Ava’s face lights up as she moves closer and her hesitation simply vanishes.

Ava smiles wider. “Hi.”

Hi feels too small. Hey feels too informal. I’ve been thinking of you every minute of every day for the last nine months and you’re a ghost haunting all of my waking moments and sleeping ones too and I think I’ve been waiting for you my whole life feels too big.

She settles for a quiet, “Hello.”

Ava’s nose wrinkles. “Hello,” she echoes, pitching her voice slightly deeper. A clumsy attempt at mimicking her accent. She blinks up at Beatrice expectantly. “Anything else?” she asks after a moment.

“You’re back.” Everything else she wants to say sticks in her throat.

“I am.” Ava tips her head curiously, keen eyes studying her. Beatrice wonders if she sees the new highlights in her hair, the added years Beatrice sees when she looks at herself in the mirror. “I mean, I wasn’t expecting a party, or anything. Maybe a banner or a cupcake. Though, I get that it was kind of an impromptu arrival and there wasn’t a lot of time to plan. I mean, it’s not like you guys have a ‘Welcome Back to Earth’ banner on hand, right?” She pauses again. “I was expecting more than hello, though.”

Restraint, Beatrice, her mother used to tell her. Show some restraint. When she spoke out of turn, became too excited - it was always whip-sharp eyes in her direction, reminding her to practice some self-discipline. Ava, on the other end of the long spectrum between what is expected and what isn’t, is the least restrained person Beatrice has ever met.

Beatrice, months separated from Ava’s influence, struggles to find a middle ground.

“Seriously.” Ava laughs. She sounds nervous. “They didn’t, like, replace you with a pod person or anything, did they?” Her eyes widen. “Is this some kind of alternate reality where people are different? Are you really Beatrice? Or are you her evil twin? Is this world run by toads? I had a dream once where there was a toad king who demanded we all speak in ribbits. Or is it croaks? Hey, can you look up the sound toads make? I think I missed that science lesson.”

“Ava,” Beatrice breathes. Fond exasperation is easy to fall into.

Ava grins rakishly. “Ah, there she is.”

Beatrice opens her mouth to scold her, to tell Ava that she’s not as funny as she thinks she is, but she’s horrified when a single sob loosens from somewhere in the back of her throat and explodes into the space between them.

They both look startled at the sound, but Ava recovers quicker than she does. She curses softly when she tries to move, wires tangling up around her wrists. She starts to try and move them out of her way, her legs swinging over the side of the bed as she starts to inch towards Beatrice. She looks up, forehead pulled together in frustration. “Hold- just hold on.”

Beatrice claps her hand down over her mouth, trying to stop the next horrible sound that comes out of it. She holds out her other hand, trying to tell Ava to stay back. No, no, no. This isn’t how this was supposed to go.

Ava curses again, louder and in Portuguese this time, as another wire comes undone and loops its way around her arm instead. “I swear to fucking God and all her shitty decisions that if this thing doesn’t- Ha!” She wiggles out of one wire, then a second. She smiles triumphantly at Beatrice but that wrinkle in her forehead hasn’t faded away.

Something starts beeping as Ava disconnects the next wire. There’s a moment where they both stand, suspended as they wait for Ava to suddenly collapse onto the floor, that one wire the only thing keeping her up. But nothing comes and Ava must decide that it’s the all-clear; she starts pulling at wires until they disconnect, creating a cacophony of noise that feels like a mis-paced symphony.

“Hold on, hold on,” Ava is muttering as she pulls the last wire free. She’s suddenly in front of Beatrice, hands out in front of her carefully. “Hey, Bea.”

Beatrice’s eyes dart around the room. It’s starting to narrow to a pinprick, the lights spinning around. Ava is the only thing staying still, her focal part as the rest of the room rushes in on her. Another sob starts to build in her throat but it gets stuck there, forming into a hard knot that makes it hard to swallow around.

Breathe, she tells herself. Just take a breath.

“Look at me. Just breathe,” Ava says quietly. She takes a hesitant step forward. “I think- Bea, I think you’re having a panic attack.”

Beatrice tries to shake her head. She tries, but she’s not sure that she does. Her body feels far away, like she’s swimming underwater from one end of an endless pool to the other. The beeping of the machines distorts into a heartbeat, but that might just be the blood rushing in her ears. She tries to inhale and chokes on that knot.

“Okay, just follow my voice.” Ava sounds closer, but Beatrice can’t quite say how close she is. The room is starting to stretch out like a funhouse mirror. “Bea, uh, okay. Okay. I’m going to touch you. I know, you might freak out. But I’m going to put my hands on your hands, okay? Just like… just like this.”

She feels something cool and soft land on the wrist of her outstretched arm. It becomes a focal point. She focuses all of her energy there, all of her remaining senses rush to the spot where Ava’s fingertips curl around her pulse point.

Ava makes a noise that sounds like a hum just under the hot whistle of air in Beatrice’s ears. “Good. Now the other hand.”

Another cool hand touches hers, pulling it away from her mouth. She lets her world dial down to just the feather-light touch of Ava’s hand tangling with hers, lets herself focus in on the soft pads of Ava’s fingers running over the silvery scars on her hands. Each brush against her knuckle breaks down the knot in her throat until she can take in a ragged breath, then another, then one more.

The world begins to expand again - light filtering back in, the beeping stretching out into its asynchronous rhythm, the slightly sterile smell of clean cotton on the hospital bed. She focuses all of her attention on Ava, though. On the soft soothing noises Ava is making, the heat coming off her body as she gets closer, the strange patterns Ava is rubbing into her wrist.

“Hey,” Ava says quietly in the spaces between the beeping. “Hey, there you are.”

“I’m sorry,” she croaks, graceless.

Ava’s eyes are wide, but kind as they come into focus. Beatrice could count the inches between them on two hands. “You don’t need to apologize. I don’t think either of us expected this.”

“I should have.” She inhales again, the exhale a little steadier. “I should have been expecting this.”

“Beatrice, I mean this in the nicest way.” Ava ducks her head just a little, meeting her gaze directly. “This is a compliment, okay? You are not perfect. You cannot anticipate everything. And you shouldn’t be expected to do that. So it’s okay, alright? It’s okay that you didn’t anticipate some scientific marvel spitting me back into reality. I think I can forgive you for that, hmm?”

“Okay,” she whispers, not believing it entirely. But Ava looks so convincing, she lets the idea sit and tries to believe it could be true. “I’m-”

“Don’t apologize,” Ava says quickly. “This is a no-sorry party. Apologies department is closed for… the rest of eternity. No need to leave a message.” She strokes her thumb against the back of Beatrice’s hand before her eyes widen in mock-surprise. “Maybe this is an alternate reality where I’m not funny anymore.”

“Your jokes were always mediocre at best,” she manages.

Ava grins. “She speaks. And she lies.” Ava’s expression softens and she pulls until Beatrice can count the inches on one hand now. They’re nearly nose to nose and Beatrice can see the thin skin over Ava’s collarbone, just a little more pronounced this close up. “You’re okay.”

Beatrice takes in a slow, measured breath. “You’re here,” she exhales.

“All 238 bones of me.” Ava’s mouth falls into a serious line. “I’m including teeth, of course.”

She can’t help the laugh that bubbles up from her unexpectedly. Get control of yourself, her mother’s voice hisses. But Ava is looking at her, pleased. It sends her mother to the back of her head, back behind Ava’s smile.

“You had your wisdom teeth removed,” she reminds Ava gently.

Ava’s mouth falls open slightly. “How did you-” Her eyes narrow, but she’s smiling. “No stone unturned for you people, hmm? I bet Sister Frances kept those teeth, too. You know, Diego and I always thought she had some kind of creepy collection of, like, teeth and hair. She seemed the type.” Her fingers start working over Bea’s hands and up towards her elbows as she carefully starts to guide them around her back.

“Ava,” Beatrice tries.

“I don’t know about you,” Ava says quietly. “I don’t know how long it’s been since-”

“Too long,” Beatrice breathes. Eight months, twenty-three days, and somewhere around three hours, she doesn’t say out loud.

“But it’s been even longer for me,” Ava finishes. “And, I’ll be honest, okay? I really missed Mother Superion and Camila and, yeah, okay, parts of Lilith. But you were the only thing that kept me going. So I’m going to hug you and you’re going to hug me and then I’m going to pass out, if that’s okay with you?”

Beatrice startles a little, their forehead nearly knocking as she grabs Ava tightly and holds her against her body. Ava seems to sigh into the hug, her forehead dropping into the curve of Beatrice’s neck, her hands gripping the back of Beatrice’s shirt tight enough to crease the carefully ironed fabric. She grows heavy nearly instantly and Beatrice almost sways under the sudden weight.

“I’m-”

“Shut up,” Ava murmurs. Beatrice feels the words more than she hears them. “Just, be quiet, okay? I’ve been imagining this for years.”

Years, she thinks. But she goes quiet again, pressing her lips to Ava’s hair. She breathes in something bleach-like, like the ozone burning. She carefully inches forward, Ava’s abandoned bed her destination. She can hear her heart beating against her rib cage, but Ava’s own heart seems to be answering in its own language.

She starts to loosen her grip on Ava, intending to convince her that she should lay back down, let Beatrice reattach all of the wires monitoring her vitals, let Beatrice go and find Jillian to make sure they didn’t mess everything up. But when she goes to loosen her grip, Ava hangs on.

“Don’t,” Ava whispers. “Don’t let go yet.”

Beatrice holds on tighter; doesn’t tell Ava she has no intention of ever letting go again.

#warrior nun #avatrice #ava silva #sister beatrice #tw: panic attack #this is just an entire fic i am sorry #beatrice needs a break okay?#i might use this again in a larger fic tbh because it immediately gave me a hundred ideas #but hey it's my writing so i can do what i want #*said in my 7-year-old's voice*#anyway writing this was a lot out of me #i hope if you read it you enjoy it

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unsolved-duvall · 1 year

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𝐄𝐱𝐡𝐚𝐥𝐞 - 𝐞.𝐦.

eddie munson x fem!reader

warnings anxiety, description of a panic attack, fluff, comfort, an overuse of nicknames (sweetheart, baby, etc.), general warning for heavier content (2k+)

authors note today was a bad day for me, so i wrote this little blurb about eddie helping you through a panic attack and comforting you afterwards. i hope it can be a small piece of comfort to someone <3

You were at Eddie’s, both of you sprawled lethargically across the length of the couch, your legs over his lap and your head resting on the arm of the couch. The lights were all turned off as the television played some film Eddie had picked up from family video the other day. His hands ran absentmindedly over your bare legs in a gentle pattern, whilst his attention was wholly on the film.

You had felt relaxed, calm, safe. Of course you had, you were with Eddie. But soon enough, for no apparent reason, you’re heart had started racing and your hearing had gone muffled and you didn’t know what to do.

You didn’t want Eddie to see you like this. He couldn’t see you like this.

You made a split-second decision to pull your legs from his lap and drag your body, heavy with panic, from the couch and make your way to the bathroom. Away from him.

If it wasn’t for your hazy state, you had have realised just how flustered you looked. You tried to tell Eddie what you were doing but no words came out when you opened your mouth.

The bathroom door slammed behind you, and in your rising panic you didn’t remember to lock the door.

It was as if your brain had shut off, perhaps it was trying to protect you from how overwhelmed you were. But before you had any time to process what was happening you found yourself sat on the cold tile floor, your back resting against the bathtub and the palm of your hands pressed flat to the floor, trying to use the coldness to ground yourself.

Your heart felt as if it could beat out of tour chest and your face and arms felt tingly. There was no other way of describing it apart from it feeling like tv static had taken over your body. One of your hands went numb and you couldn’t move it. This happened every time too, you would lose control of your own body and you had never felt as isolated as you did when this happened - your own body betrayed you.

There were tears running down your face, silent cries that you didn’t even realise were happening until you felt the salty tears land on your lips. You couldn’t slow your breathing down, you couldn’t move your arms, you couldn’t-

“Sweetheart? Are you okay?”

Eddie.

Oh thank god-

No.

No, he couldn’t see this.

“Baby, talk to me. What happened?”

Come here. Go away.

I need you. I don’t want to need you.

You couldn’t speak. You wanted to but you couldn’t.

When Eddie didn’t hear anything he felt a fear he hadn’t felt before. He needed to know you were okay. You had to be okay, right? You were just with him. But what if you weren’t? What if you were sick? Or upset? He needed to help you.

Your hearing had gone muffled so you didn’t hear the knock on the door or the click of the door handle when he pushed the door open and was met with the sight before him.

He was lent down in front of you within a second. His heart broke just looking at you, he didn’t know what was going on, but the sheer panic and confusion on your face was enough for him to feel like the world had just been ripped away from under his feet.

“Hey, hey, okay baby. You’re okay, huh?” His voice was small, cracking on those last words because the truth was he didn’t know that you were okay.

Eddie was smart. He knew you struggled with anxiety. You had never told him, but he had picked up on it. He never confronted you about it or asked questions, he simply held onto that knowledge in case he ever needed it. Like now.

He had seen someone have a panic attack before.

His mom, when he was seven years old.

“Can I touch you sweetheart? Can I hold your hand or do you not want to be touched right now?”

You shook your head and he felt his heart shatter all over again.

You didn’t want to be touched. Not yet. You didn’t feel safe in your own body, how were you meant to trust someone else.

“Okay can you just listen to my voice, baby? Just listen to me, okay? Shh shh shh, you’ll be okay.” Eddie dropped his voice so it was soft like silk. His calming tones washing over you.

“I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere.”

Your breathing started to pick up again and Eddie was genuinely worried about you passing out.

“Hey, sweetheart you’ve gotta breath okay. Or you’re gonna pass out- come on just breathe for me.”

Eddie took exaggerated breaths and you finally met his eyes, watching him. He nodded his head at you when he realised you were focused on him, continuing to breathe in and out.

“That’s it. Just copy me, okay? Just in and out, you’ve got it baby”

You tried to copy him. Your breaths were uneven and shaky and occasionally you lost your way again. Your cries would get harder and your breaths would be lost on you again.

But Eddie was in front of you and you found yourself reaching a hand out for him.

He took it hesitantly, whispering out a yeah? this okay? when his fingers intertwined with his. You still couldn’t talk, or nod, but you hoped he knew you were trying to tell him that yes, yes that was okay.

Eddie held your hand and placed your palm flat over his heart, covering it with his own. His chest was rising and falling with his breathing, and being able to feel it felt… calming. It felt like he had brought you back down from where you felt like you were floating before.

After a while, your breathing started to match his. Your hands were shaking and you still didn’t feel okay. But you felt a little safer.

“Good, that’s good angel. Keep doing that for me, I’ve got you.”

It might have been five minutes or half an hour. But your heart slowed and your breathing evened out. Your classy eyes met Eddie’s and the pain you saw behind them made you feel sick.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, I don’t-”

Eddie cut you off, rubbing his thumb in circles over the back of your hand, “Don’t apologise. Just take your time, okay?”

You nodded and relaxed even further back against the bathtub.

“My face feels bad.”

“Bad? What- baby, what does that mean?”

“It’s tingly.”

You thought you sounded like a small child. Eddie thought you sounded like the bravest person he had ever met.

Eddie moved closer to you, dropping your hand down to rest on his leg as he raised his hands up to your face.

He placed one on either on of your cheeks and rubbed his thumbs into small circles over your soft skin. “You’re body just freaked out a bit, it’s okay. It was doing its job, trying to protect you.” Eddie whispered in front of you.

Eddie’s touch on your face made more tears fall. You weren’t sure why you were crying anymore, but he let you get it all out.

“How’s that feel?” Eddie asked you with a small smile on his face.

“It’s better, thank you.” Your voice was scratchy, but the words weren’t getting trapped in your throat anymore.

“Of course.” You saw a small flash of uncertainty paint his face for a second. He wanted you to tell him what you needed, but he wasn’t sure you could do that right now; you still had a distant look in your eyes and your whole body had gone cold. He knew it was just you coming down from the shock and hyperventilating, but nonetheless it killed him to see you like this.

“Baby, do you want to- shall we get off this floor?” Eddie did what he did best, he tired to make you laugh, “I love you more than I love myself, but this floor is really cold.”

You didn’t laugh, but that was because toy felt so tired, and he knew that.

You nodded your head and let him help you up off the floor, leading you back to the lounge and sitting you down on the couch. He disappeared for a minute but soon came back with a glass is water for you.

“Drink some of this for me, okay? Just small sips.”

You did what he asked of you and he breathed a gentle thank you when you passed the glass back to you.

He sat down next to you and you clung to him. You never wanted to be around anyone after a panic attack, but with Eddie in his arms felt like the safest place in all the universe.

Eddie gently moved you both so you were laying with your head tucked under his and his arms wrapped reassuringly around you.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“I- I don’t know. I don’t know what happened.” your voice was small but he slowly started to recognise it again.

“That’s okay, you don’t have to know why.” he gently kissed the top of your head and you fought to get even closer to him, letting your hands wrap around him and under slide under his jumper, so they were resting against his back.

Eddie took a steadying breath before he said, “You know I’m always here for you, sweetheart. I love you, and I don’t want you to ever go through that alone again, okay? I know you’ve done it alone before, but you should never have had to.”

You felt small tears form in your bloodshot eyes and you turned your head so it was pressed against his neck. He realised what you were doing and he mimicked your earlier actions, slipping his hand under your top to feel your skin and rub his hands up and down your back.

“I’ve got you,” you nodded against him and tightened your grip on him, which he took as a sign to carry on talking.

“You don’t need to hide from me. I love every part of you. I even love it when you wake me up in the middle of the night because you want to tell me about the dream you just had. I mean baby, if anyone else tried to wake me up I’d kick them out of my room so fast they’d get whiplash.”

You let out a very small laugh and the sound of it was the best thing he had ever heard.

“I’m serious angel. Don’t run from me again, huh?”

You lifted your head slightly and Eddie was floored with a flood of emotions when he saw your face. He truly loved you more than he could explain or even understand.

“I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

You lay back down against him, chest to chest with your head buried in his neck and Eddie settled into the couch below him. No words were exchanged between the two of you, but you both fell asleep in the comfort of being wrapped around each other.

When you woke up, you found a blanket had been gently placed over the top of of both of you, someone had tucked the blanket around the both of you and turned the tv off.

Not someone.

Wayne. His shoes and coat were by the front door, and you saw that the light in the kitchen was on.

Eddie woke up soon after you, and you whispered l something against him that had him sitting the both of you up, still not letting you stray far from him, keeping his hand resting against you constantly.

The three of you sat around the small table and ate dinner together that night, talking about everything and anything. Eddie let his hand rest against your leg under the table, like an anchor keeping you next to him.

Soon enough the day ended with all of you crashed on the couch and watching one of Wayne’s favourite films. He spoke through the whole thing, explaining his favourite things about it. You loved it.

You lay resting against Eddie and closed your eyes to the sounds of the film and gentle conversation between Eddie and Wayne.

You had never felt like you could call somewhere home before, you never truly knew what that meant. But you thought you might know now.

(defense against tumblr deleting anything <3)

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5t4r5and5uch01 · 7 months

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Part 4! (Final!)

THIS IS PART 4! And final part! Woo!

This took WAY longer than it should. I’m SO sorry Sleep (@nosleep83) TmT

But here it is! With a silly lil ending lol

I apologize that this came out a bit messy and sketchy. It would be impossible for me to finish it if it wasn’t- blah

Anyways! Tysm for reading! :D

Previous parts:

Part 1: (Masterpost)

Part 2:

Part 3:

#tw: panic attack #tw: anxiety attack #tmnt #mutant mayhem #tmnt mutant mayhem #tmnt mm fanart #tmnt mm fan comic #YAY finished!

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sirspazingtonthefourth · 7 months

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Game Day

Summary: You go to check out the commotion by you're university's stadium and get roped into going to the game. 4.7k, mostly just fluff, college au, Bakugo x Reader

A/N: Recently got to college and was still unfamiliar with game day schedules. Sorta a mix between me wanting to go to a game and me being confused why there was a mob outside the stadium a couple weeks ago. Not proofread, sorry.

Content warnings: Cursing, depiction of a panic attack

You had never seen so many people from this far away. You’d been part of crowds before, sure. But something about seeing the mass of your school colors outside the stadium, fully three blocks away, unsettled you a little. You knew it was game season, but most of those happened in the evening.

The studious part of you, the part that knew you had to finish taking notes on your biology textbook, told you to ignore the phenomenon. There was probably a good explanation, and if something was wrong someone would show up soon to take care of it. The other part, the ever curious part, demanded you investigate, find out what could cause such a stir. You cursed yourself as you stood from your desk, slipped on your shoes, grabbed your wallet, and left your dorm.

You walked out of your dorm building on a mission: find out what was going on at the stadium. It was maybe a ten minute walk if you were dragging your feet, and you were too interested to do that. You made it in six minutes flat, trying to make out what was going on based on the chatter around you. You couldn’t make any of it out, all the voices blending into one massive cacophony. You started trying to push your way through the crowd.

“Oi, asshole! Wait your turn, we’ll get in soon enough,” you heard someone call right before something tugged on the collar of your shirt strong enough that you stumbled back a few steps. You turned to glare at whoever had decided to touch you, only to be met with burning red eyes.

The red eyes belonged to none other than Bakugo Katsuki, an asshole you shared biology with. Your professor had assigned him to your group, but didn’t talk to each other. The only reason you knew his name is because of the team roster your professor had put out. He seemed to think he was better than everyone, and you stayed away from him because you didn’t agree.

You were surprised to see him here, honestly, since you never saw him just walking around campus. Anytime you saw him outside of class he was either studying or helping someone else study. You didn’t even see him in the dining hall.

“Uh… what?” you shouted above the din. He rolled his eyes, a deepening frown on his face. A few stray blond hairs fell into his face, and he brushed them out of the way.

“Wait. Your damn. Turn. We aren’t going to get in any sooner if you’re at the front of the line.”

“Line for what? And you call this a line?” the blond narrowed his eyes, lip curling in a sneer.

“The line for the game, dumbass. And yes, this is a line!”

“Could’ve fooled me.”

“You must not have been to many games, then. Fucking amateur.” You glared back at the blond. You hated that he seemed to think he could just be rude to anybody.

“Yeah, I’m an amateur! I don’t even go to the games, I just got curious what the fuss was over here. Enjoy… whatever game you’re here to see,” you said, waving a hand about to indicate that you neither knew nor cared what was going to be happening. You had done what you came here to do, and now your homework was calling your name.

But Bakugo didn’t seem to be done with you. He grabbed your arm as you turned to walk away, and you jerked at the contact. It wasn’t enough to break his hold, and he spun you back around to face him. He seemed more pissed about you leaving than about you supposedly cutting in the mob that apparently passed for a line.

“You haven’t been to the games?” If looks could kill, you’d have been being scraped off the pavement with a spatula right about now.

“No? I have more important things to be doing. Besides, don’t really wanna go anyways.” You muttered the last part, a little embarrassed to admit it. Crowds weren’t your scene. You didn’t like the idea of being so close to so many people. Of being touched by so many people.

“Anyway, I’m leaving now, so-”

“The hell you are!” Bakugo held on a little tighter, and you tried to glare him down. Key word: tried. Surprisingly enough, having eyes like embers was very effective when you were having a staring contest. You looked away a lot faster than you wanted.

“And why is that?”

“You’re already here. Might as well stay and see the game.”

“I told you, I don’t want to. Besides, I have homework I still need to get done.” You were getting a little frantic, trying to pull your arm away from him even as you did your best to mask the discomfort in your voice. “A-and I don’t even have tickets, and I’m still in pajamas because it’s a Saturday and I wasn’t planning on being in public and-”

“And I don’t care. You’re here, you’re going, end of discussion.”

“Please don’t make me,” you begged, turning your head around to see the crowd around you. You didn’t try to hide the fear, hoping he would take mercy on you. It had taken too much out of you to push through the crowd to begin with, and it had only gotten bigger. You didn’t think you could get out now even if he let you go, but maybe you could. You clung to that maybe like a lifeline.

Bakugo, for his part, seemed to take notice of your little predicament. Better than you did, in fact. Maybe it was the tight grip on your wrist, his fingers digging into your pulse point to let him know you weren’t okay. Maybe it was how your head had begun whipping around, as if trying to keep tabs on every single person in the crowd.

He himself started to glance around, looking for someone. When he spotted the telltale red, spiky hair, he called out.

“Oi! Kirishima! Over here!” The redhead turned, a bright smile on his face as he seemed to effortlessly move through the crowd.

“Hey, Bakugo! What’s- oh.” Kirishima noticed you more than you really noticed him. You were too busy trying to shrink in on yourself to notice him. You were flinching at every brush of a sleeve against your arm, apologizing as you seemed intent on shrinking into yourself like a dying star.

“Crowd’s too big behind us. Can you help me clear a path inside?” Bakugo asked, and Kirishima was quick to nod, letting out a sharp whistle that sounded about the general din of the crowd of sports fans.

“Alright, I need everyone to clear a path to the stadium real quick!”

A few other voices sounded, echoing the call for a path. Three people in particular jumped in to help clear a path, and you didn’t have the energy to fight being led towards the big stadium.

You were almost stopped at the front door, arguably where people were pressed together the tightest, by the person keeping everyone from entering. You didn’t know what to call him, you thought. A bouncer? Door guard? Random guy?

“Woah, buddy, I know you guys are part of the student section, but you can’t head in there yet.”

“Please, sir, it’s a bit of an emergency,” Kirishiima explained, gesturing to you. You had your eyes squeezed shut, aware you were panicking and trying to stop it.

“Yeah, sure. You can wait like-”

“If you don’t let us through that door in the next five seconds, so help me god, I will-”

“Woah, Bakugo, easy. Come on, let’s go somewhere else.” The redhead said, walking away from the door guard. The crowd parted for him, leaving a wake big enough for you and Bakugo to follow in without being touched.

After a little more wading through the crowd, Kirishima seemed to find what he was looking for. He pulled on a small part of the chain link fence, shifting it just enough for someone to crawl under. Bakugo nodded in thanks to the bigger man and crawled under, dragging you along.

Once inside the stadium fence, he pulled you inside through a nearby maintenance door. From there he navigated you towards one of the main halls. They weren’t lit well, but you could hear how they echoed. There must have been really high ceilings.

“Hey, hey. It’s okay. There’s no one around. Look- hey, look at me,” he said, and your eyes snapped to his. They were still intense, emitting the same waves of heat as the embers of a long-tended fire. You tried to look away, but he put his hands to your face, blocking out everything from your view but those eyes.

“None of that. Look at me. You’re fine. No one’s here. Breathe.” You took a shaky breath. Then another. And another, trying to match up with the rhythm of his breath as it echoed through the vast, empty hall.

“Good, you’re doing good,” he said, taking his hands from your face and grabbing your upper arm. “There’s a water fountain nearby. I’m going to take you there, and you’re going to drink, got it?” You nodded, breathing a little more evenly but not willing to talk just yet.

The water did wonders for you. It was cold, unlike the pressing heat of the crowd and your classmate. It grounded you, and when you finally came up for air you could feel that your heart was no longer trying to jump out of your chest. It wasn’t calmed, but it was more manageable.

“Thank you,” you whispered, afraid of how loud the echo would be. You were already jumpy, you didn’t need to make a fool of yourself for startling at your own voice.

“Don’t mention it,” Bakugo said at full volume. It bounced around in the hall, and you flinched at how suddenly it had contrasted with the airy silence that only a wide open space could have. He seemed to not notice.

“Come on. Now that you’re done waterboarding yourself, we’re gonna get you a shirt. Can’t have you at the game in that,” he said with disdain, as if you had intentionally worn your old NASA t-shirt from Target and comfy blue and purple leggings just to upset him.

“But I’m already in a shirt,” you protested. He began walking and, not wanting to be lost when the crowd inevitably came through for the game, you followed him.

“Yeah, but I ain’t letting you wear that shit to the game. It’s disrespectful.” You glared at him.

“I told you, I don’t wanna go.”

“Well it’s go to the game or try and fight your way through the crowd again, and something tells me you don’t have it in you to do that right now. So, we’re getting you a shirt at the very least, you’re gonna change, and we’ll head to the stands so we aren’t pushing through everyone.”

He was right about you not wanting to push through the crowd. You thought you might actually have a heart attack if you tried that again.

“Won’t we get in trouble for being back here? That guy made it pretty clear that no one’s supposed to get in until he gives the go ahead.” Bakugo grumbled ahead of you, and you heard a few choice curses being thrown at the door guy.

“That bastard’s just trying to prove he’s got some kind of power he doesn’t have. Besides, I know the people back here. I’m one of the leaders of the student section, they aren’t exactly gonna go tatling to that prick,” he said. There was a light a few corridors down. It was the only hallway illuminated at all.

“You? Leading the student section?” he huffed, glaring back at you.

“What? Think I can’t?”

“You just… don’t really seem the type,” you said, giving a lopsided smile. He rolled his eyes and looked back ahead of him.

“Yeah, well, I’m not. Hair-for-brains managed to rope me into it, and I’m not about to back out now.” You were getting closer, and saw a stall built into the brick of the building near where the hall emptied into the main room.

“Hair-for-brains? That a, uh… an enemy of yours?”

“What? No. He’s the guy with the red hair, held the fence so we could get inside? Bastard’s been glued to my side since high school, can’t get rid of him.” You finally neared the stall enough to reasonably talk with the person you saw inside, a woman about your age with short purple hair and gauged ears. She was chewing gum and scrolling through her phone, and her shirt was black with a blue guitar on it.

“Oi, Earlobes. Need a shirt,” he said, hooking a thumb at you walking behind him.

“That’s not my name, Bakugo,” she said, glancing up at him. Her eyes settled on you after a second, she tucked her phone in her back pocket. “Who’s this?”

“They’re with me. They’re here for the game, but they need a shirt.” The girl nodded beckoning you forward but continuing to talk to Bakugo.

“I know they’re with you, what’s their name?” He huffed in annoyance instead of answering. It made sense that he didn’t know you, you barely knew him after all.

“Their name’s L/N Y/N, now will you just get them a damn-”

“Yeah, yeah, don’t lose your head,” she said. “What’s your size?”

“Uh, s/s. But, I left my wallet, I don’t have a way to pay for it-”

“Hey, don’t worry. We can just chalk it up to costs of running the student section, right, Bakugo? Anyway, I’m Jiro. It’s nice to meet you,” she said, smiling as she turned to look through the small booth for the right size. She gave a little “aha!” when she found it.

“Feel free to stop by if you need anything else. Enjoy the game,” she said.

“Thanks, you too!” you said. Bakugo grabbed you by the arm again and started dragging you towards the bathrooms.

“Come on idiot, you need to get changed.”

You sat in the empty stands with Bakugo, listening to the crowd outside. They’d come in, soon, and you’d be swarmed, but you would be ready for it. You would be trapped, but you would know it was coming.

“So, have you ever been here?” You turned to him to see him already looking right at you. “In the stands, I mean. I know everyone gets taken to the stadium that first day for the stupid start of the year tradition.” You shook your head.

“No, I haven’t. It’s a nice view, though. Very… high up?” You hadn’t been in a real stadium before. Sure, there were a few times you’d been in the stands at your high school but they weren’t very tall and you hadn’t really thought to remark on them at all. Bakugo seemed to understand though, letting out a small chuckle.

“I guess it is, yeah. Still, we’re pretty low compared to other spots. You’ll be able to see the game better. Gotta make sure you have a good seat for your first game.” You two just looked at each other for a minute, counting down until everyone would swarm the stadium and find their seats and begin cheering and chanting.

“I’m Katsuki, by the way,” he said suddenly. “I don’t think I ever told you my name.”

“I knew your name,” you said quickly. “We’re in the same biology group, remember?” He blinked, as if he was surprised you remembered.

“Yeah, we are. Sorry, I just thought-”

“That some random stranger knew my name?” He looked away, glaring out onto the field as if he was trying to light the grass on fire with just his eyes.

“Sooo…” you said, grasping for a conversation topic. “You’re in the student section.”

“Not just in it,” he scoffed, turning back to you with a shit eating grin. “I’m second in command.”

“Not bad for a freshman,” you said, elbowing him. He elbowed you back.

“Don’t say that like you aren’t one, idiot.” You shoved him in retaliation, and it turned into an all out war, the both of you shoving each other in the stands. You were laughing at the absurdity of it. You were a freshman in college and here you were, rough housing with practically a stranger.

You heard the sound of people starting to flood the stadium. It distracted you from holding your base, and Katsuki shoved the both of you right off of your seats.

“Ha! I win!” he declared from atop you. You rolled your eyes, trying to push him off of you.

“I was distracted, it doesn’t count! And come on, people are coming. We don’t want to lose our seats.” But he stayed put, his face getting red. “Uh, earth to Katsuki? Can you let me up? We’re going to lose our seats otherwise.” He seemed to snap back to himself as he did, quickly pushing himself off of you and helping you stand, trying to avoid looking at you the whole time, which seemed odd. You took your seats as everyone started pouring in.

Katsuki’s friends found you both in the front row and sat with you. You recognized them as the people who had helped you move through the crowd. The redhead you remembered as Kirishima, the bright blond with a black streak dyed into his hair was Kaminari, and the one with black hair was Sero. Jiro came and joined you all, too, bringing a girl with bright pink hair who said her name was Mina. She was by far the most excited to meet you, immediately going in for a hug before you could stop her.

You spent the game with the whole group bumping into you every so often, but you found you didn’t care as much as normal. You were jumping up when everyone else was, screaming when everyone else was, being excited when everyone else was. It made the weird ‘ick’ feeling you got when people touched you diminish. It was still there, but there were more important things to worry about.

Katsuki taught you the chants, usually right before he led the rest of the crowd in them, so you could join in more. You almost fell over once, jumping up when a goal was scored. Katsuki was the one to catch you, pulling you back upright and returning to cheering after making certain you were alright.

You walked out of the stadium smiling and laughing. You were buzzing with energy. You knew some of it was the shaky, panicky kind from being in such close proximity to so many people, but most of it was excitement. You’d been a part of a crowd, instead of just being in one. You’d been able to channel the adrenaline rush you got when being touched into something more constructive than shying away and panicking.

“Stupid, shitty ass team. Didn’t even win. The fuck do they do all that training for if they aren’t going to take the game seriously?” Katsuki grumbled next to you.

“Hey, they took that game plenty seriously, Bakubro,” Kirishima said to try and cheer him up.

“Don’t call me that.”

“Lighten up, Bakugo. They lost by a single point, and that was only because the ref made a fake call to open the chance for a field goal,” Mina offered, decidedly avoiding the nickname Kirishima had used.

“Wasn’t that in overtime, too? Feel like they wouldn’t have let that happen if they weren’t taking the game seriously.” You had very little understanding of sports in general, but you understood the concept of overtime enough to recognize it. You didn’t know enough to know if the penalty the ref called in the last minute had been valid or not.

Regardless, Katsuki just grumbled.

“Doesn’t make it any better. Pinky’s right, the ref made a shit call. We should’ve won at that point.” You rolled your eyes and elbowed him.

“Well there’s nothing we can do about it, Katsuki. We lost, that stuff happens. We’ll do better next time,” you tried to reassure him. To your surprise, he flinched. Everyone turned to look at you as if you’d sprouted a second head.

“Did you just call him…” Kaminari looked around, as if someone would get him for what he was about to say, then leaned in to whisper to you, “...the ‘K’ word?”

“Katsuki? Yeah? That’s his name, right?” You turned to him to double check, but Katsuki refused to meet your eyes.

“Well, we hope to see you at the next game, Y/N!” Jiro said, slowly walking away while trying her best to hide a smile.

“Yeah, you too. Hope to see you before then, too,” you said with a confused smile. Why was she acting weird?

“You know, we’ve got a study group that meets Wednesday nights at the library, if you want to come! Blasty over there runs it,” Kaminari chimed in.

“You wouldn’t think it, but he’s a strangely good teacher! He’s the only reason I passed my first chem test,” Mina said, shooting a playful grin to the blond walking on your left.

“What’s that supposed to mean, dumbass?”

“Relax, Bakugo. She’s right, you don’t seem like the mentoring type,” Kirishima said, resting a hand on Katsuki’s shoulder. He was also fighting back a smile. Well, a bigger smile than he was already wearing.

“You are a bit loud and angry for a teacher, I’ll be honest,” Kaminari piped in, earning a death glare from the blond.

“Right, that’s our cue to go,” Sero said with a clap, grabbing Kaminari’s shoulder and starting to walk backwards. “Y/N, it was nice to meet you, if you want to join the study group we meet at 6 on the second floor of the library. It’s Mina’s turn to bring snacks, so we’ll be fueled for it. Anyway, see ya!” He turned around and sprinted off before Katsuki could chase after him and Kaminari.

“What’s up with them?” You asked.

“Oh, Bakugo’s known to try and strangle Kaminari. Those two are best friends and Kami doesn’t always know when not to say things, ADHD and all, so it falls to Sero to keep him alive when he says stupid things,” Kirishima explained.

“Anyway, Mina, you wanna go try that gyro place that just opened?” Kirishima said, the mischievous smile he’d been holding back finally breaking through

“Do I ever! Let’s go, Kiri. Have fun, you two!” And with several backwards glances and titters, Kirishima and Mina ran off.

“Well, they all seemed in a hurry to leave,” you said, rubbing your arm. It had been right after you called Katsuki by his name, too. They’d made a deal of it, before they all ran away.

“Did… Did I say something?” you asked the blonde, still walking next to you towards your dorm.

“No, those idiots just don’t know how to leave.”

“Oh. I just… nevermind.” You were the one refusing to meet his eyes now, and you could feel them boring into your temple as you looked around the street.

“I don’t let them call me by my name. That’s why the idiots got all weird.”

“Would you prefer if I don’t-”

“I told you to call me Katsuki, it’s fine,” he said, cheeks getting pink again.

You both walked together quietly for another block. It was a warm evening in mid September, and you relished in the warmth that rose from the ground. You looked up through the trees to see what color the sky was painted this time, just to say you were doing something. It was usually a gorgeous red, but sometimes it was a pink or an orange. That was the best part of your dorm: you could see the sunsets.

“You said you had homework to do?”

“Hm?” Katsuki kept looking at you as you pulled your eyes from the sky, and you froze for half a second. You’d recognized on some level that he was pretty, with his spiky blond hair and his seemingly constantly scowling face and his ember eyes. But something about the golden hour lighting made you realize he was pretty. You quickly looked away before he could see the blush on your face.

“Earlier, you said you still had homework to do. What was it for?”

“Oh, I’ve got to finish getting through this week's biology chapter. It’s taking a bit longer than I planned, but-”

“I can help. If you want me to.” You blinked at him, a little surprised that he would offer.

“It’s fine. I’m sure you’ve got your own homework, and I can’t ask you to do that anyway.”

“Unlike some people,” he said, giving you a playful glare, “I actually make sure I have my shit done before I go to a game.”

“Damn, alright.” You walked a few more paces in silence. “I mean… if you’re offering, I’d appreciate the help,” you admitted, refusing to look at him in the golden hour light. You had to keep it together, dammit.

“Well, I am. Hurry up, the sooner we get back the sooner we can be studying. We doing it in your room?

“Uh, sure, I guess,” you said, trying not to think too far into that.

“Cool. You’re roommate know?”

“Oh, I don’t have a roommate. They never showed up,” you said, maybe a little too quickly. Katsuki just glanced at you in his periphery, refusing to look at him, and nodded. You didn’t see his little smile.

By the time you’d finished getting through the chapter with Katsuki it was well into the night. He lived in a dorm several blocks away, and you weren’t about to let him walk that far in the dark, safe campus or not.

“Well, if you’re going to hold me hostage here, you wanna watch something?”

“Sure. Any suggestions?” he thought for a moment, before gesturing you to hand him your laptop. You did, and he pulled up the campus movie website and picked something before collapsing on the empty bed in the room. You clambered up into your bed to get the one blanket big enough for two people and hopped down. Once you were on the bed with him, you quickly arranged the blanket so you two both had some and settled in to watch the movie.

Halfway through, Katsuki felt something slump against him. He looked down to see you, leaning against his shoulder. You were out cold, and right as the movie was getting to the good part. He sighed, pausing the movie and closing the laptop. He set it off to one side and pulled out his phone to check the group chat.

He’d known it’d blow up the second he was left alone with you, so he’d set it to silent earlier, but now he could look through all the messages. It was all on the same topic, and the idiots were still talking. Kaminari was the first person to notice he was online.

“Dude! That’s the person you’ve been talking about? The one from bio?” he sent. Katsuki rolled his eyes, typing back quickly before the others swarmed him with questions.

“Yes, that was them. No, I’m not telling you morons anything. I’m going to bed.” He was about to put his phone down when one last notification banner came down from his private chat with Kirishima.

“So, how’d it go? Did the studying idea work?” Katsuki glanced down at you, sleeping on his shoulder. The game and studying combination must have really exhausted you if you passed out so easily and didn’t notice that you were leaning on him. It was cute.

“Worked great. Thanks for the idea, Red.”

“Knew it! Figured it must’ve gone well when you didn’t come back to the dorm.”

“Whatever, dumbass. Night.”

He tossed his phone next to your laptop and leaned back into the wall. It wasn’t the most comfortable sleeping position, but he knew if he moved you would wake up. So he took a breath and closed his eyes for the night, heart fluttering at the idea of being there first thing in the morning to talk to you again.

#katsuki x reader #bakugo x reader #katsuki bakugou x reader #bakugou fluff #bakugou katsuki x reader #mha #bnha #college au #tw: panic attack

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