#tw: sucidal thoughts (brief)

[anxietysroomsupport]

(TW: suicide / vent) i have attempted suicide today. a failed attempt only by chance

i don't really know why i'm writing here. i guess i just wanna talk about it with someone. i did tell some of my friends but other those few minutes, it isn't getting mentioned anymore and i- ..i know they do care about me but.. sigh. i don't know what i was expecting once done it. and i don't wven feel bad about it. am i shaken up? yeah, but i have been hoping to do this in years. doing it felt like an achievement

and about the act: what i can't understand is how did i fall? i wanted to.. swing for just a few seconds and get the illusion of a suicide to feel better (not like i really cared if i did succeed), and at the second try i counted to 10 and was going back on the chair. next thing i know, i am on the ground. the chair was now on the floor somehow and the pain i should have felt by falling was numbed down. was i uncoscious? was reaching the 11th second enough to do that? or was that some sort of amnesia, maybe? i know for sure it didn't pass too much time because the song that was playing was at its end when i got up

sorry if you can't help. thanks for everything<3

Anonymous asked:

(TW: suicide / vent) i'm that anon again, and i just wanted to ask if you know if mine was a failed suicide attempt, a parasuicide or something else? internet isn't helping

so, what i got that gets into the first one's category is intentionally doing it with the thought of ending it. and yeah, it checks out, but i also was numb and didn't care whether i ended up alive or not. but i also just wanted the illusion of an attempt, which would make it parasuicide? i don't know and not calling it a sucide attempt makes me feel like shit. i'm an attention seeker, alright

~

Hi Anon,

When I first saw this ask, it had already been so long since it was sent in, I sat on responding for a while because I am afraid you might already be gone.  I have thought about it often.  But I wanted to respond in case you are still here and in case there are other people in your position right now.  

It’s not perfectly clear to me how you attempted suicide, but my guess from the clues (swinging, a chair, numbness, and falling) is that you practiced hanging yourself.  10 seconds without oxygen or blood flow to the brain would be enough to cause intense dizziness and disorientation, which could have caused you to fall even after you relieved the pressure.  Sometimes the sudden blood flow returning can also be disorienting.  Amnesia is not likely.  It would be more likely that you lost consciousness briefly.  It’s possible to pass out for just a few seconds and then regain consciousness.

When parts of your body don’t have sufficient oxygen, it’s common to feel numb.  Similar to a leg falling asleep when you sit on it for too long.  Or you may just have been unconscious during the fall and the pain had already begun to subside when you were waking up.  Luckily it sounds like the fall was not a bad one.  

It reminds me of a dumb game my friend group used to play in high school.  It was Spin the Bottle with everyone sitting in a circle, except instead of kissing, if it landed on you, you choked yourself until you passed out, or until people got bored of waiting and spun again.  Can’t tell you why this was a sudden (and brief) trend at my school, but I think it falls under your question about parasuicide.  

As far as I can tell, parasuicide is a more umbrella term that includes suicide as well as intentionally performing dangerous acts that could kill you, but aren’t necessarily intended to kill you.  

The difference seems to boil down to Why you did it.  If you did it with the intent to kill yourself, it would be attempted suicide.  If you did it to hurt yourself, or to feel what it would be like, maybe it is parasuicide.  Ultimately I don’t think that finding the right term is the important issue here.  

You say you feel like shit if you Don’t call it a suicide attempt.  Have you thought about why it makes you feel wrong?  Guilt?  Shame?  There are strong emotions that you’re dealing with and they are clues.  I don’t ask these questions to interrogate you, but as prompts for you to really think about and explore what’s going on.  Would you be more upset with yourself if you died in a stupid accident than if it were on purpose?  Why?

Maybe you are seeking attention and maybe that’s a good thing.  When it doesn’t matter to you if you survive or not, it’s a sign that something is very wrong in your surroundings, or that your brain can’t reconcile something.  Maybe you’re stuck and can’t find the exit, so you’re exploring making your own.  But there are other ways out that don’t require putting your life in danger.  Calling attention to your situation could be very important to getting help.  

You’ve reached out to your friends but they didn’t respond in the way you hoped they would.  You wanted more concern, more recognition that things are bad.  Maybe you wanted them to do something, to take action for you.  It is normal and okay to want these things.  You just need to tell the right people.  You need to tell someone who has the power and knowledge to act, and that usually isn’t going to be other young people who haven’t needed to seek out help before.

Tell someone who feels a responsibility toward you; a teacher, a parent, a supervisor, a doctor.  Tell all of them.  It is never too late to tell one more person.  It is never too late to ask for help, even when it feels impossible.  It’s not impossible.  Pause, take a breath, and ask. 

Please take care of yourself.

-bun

#suicide #suicide mention #vent #suffocation #cursing

[orange-axolotl]

Wilbur Soot - Year 50

“You’re gonna make it, Wil! You’re gonna -,” Another wave crashes over the top of the raft, pushing it down beneath the waves until Wilbur is sure that he’s about to drown. Wilbur splutters against the sea water, his fingers have gone numb from the cold. 

The wind howls even louder as rain continues to pour down. The raft threatens to break at any moment and they’ll both be goners.

‘No victors,’ Wilbur thinks to himself as he tries to see anything beyond the terrifying darkness. ‘Nobody but the Capitol to blame for it. Would that be so bad?”

David has stayed right next to him, his right hand pushing down on Wilbur’s left so he doesn’t lose grasp on the raft.

“- make it!. You’ve gotta make it!” David yells, his voice muffled even though he’s shouting right into Wilbur’s ears. “Don’t let them ruin you, Wilbur!”

The sky lights up from a lighting bolt and for the first time since the storm started Wilbur can see his friend clearly. Somehow David’s gotten a cut on his face, his face pressed down against the planks before he looks up.  His eyes meet Wilbur’s and a small smile crosses his lips.

Wilbur’s hand is given a small pat of encouragement. David’s hands loosen on the wet wood a wave breaks over them. Wilbur scrambles for David’s wrist, yells as his fingers ghost across the fabric of the swimsuit, and then there is only the blood pulsing in his ears. 

When he reemerges to clear skies and steady waves it’s only the sound of a cannon that covers his scream. 

#photo(s) #i wrote a thing #wilbur soot #hunger games au #mcyt #fanfic #i might write more of these? #tw: death #tw: drowning #tw: ocean #tw: sucidal thoughts (brief) #i really have no idea how to tag this #help?

[rebeccccccaaa]

bye 2020

wow fuck u man, you were horrible but thanks for maturing my ass and helping me accept who i am. you answered a lot of questions i had about myself so thank you. you helped me with unus annus (btw my hoodie came in lol) you helped me with this account i really enjoy writing and i hope good things will come. im currently working on a series right now that i hope i can put out soon. you actually helped me a lot. you took a lot too.

me and my family experienced great loss this year and we struggled mentally and emotionally a lot too. i even question life at some point but i couldn’t  be more than happy right now and im so grateful for that.

i’m an aquarius in many placements and going into the age of aquarius this year i already feel much more motivated to pursue a real career in something i really love (im not saying lol it’s kinda secret) so heres to trying not to crtl+alt+del this year and i hope things will get better for everyone. 

fuck u 2020 hope u stay in the past bitch 

#luv u 2020 #happy new year #2021 #tw sucidal thoughts #its brief though

[unchosens]

I don't know if you're doing the questions BUT if you are 2, 14, 30. -discountweasley (it's a sideblog)

2. What do you think it would take for your muse to reach their absolute breaking point?

Harry can’t take the loss of another loved one. Point blank. James, Albus, Lily - he needs them to stay alive. He died for it, that’s how much he needs that. If anything happened to them, he’d be destroyed. 

14. What does your muse think of resurrection? Have they ever been tempted by it? Would they be willing to do it now, knowing the consequences?

He has of course been tempted many times, from his first year at Hogwarts when he started going to the Mirror of Erised every night, enchanted by the sight of his parents. He always wanted them back. Then there was other people too - such as Sirius, who he hoped beyond anything might become a ghost, just so Harry could be with him again. The stone tempted him before, but he learnt a lesson from it. It gave him comfort in one of the hardest experiences in his life and he was grateful for that, but knew he had to move on, even though it was painful. Accept that the dead were dead, or he would spend his whole life longing for them - just as he might have spent his whole life in front of that mirror if Dumbledore hadn’t woken him up. He had wanted that so much he even started thinking of it the other way around - wishing to be dead with them. But at the actual moment of death, he’d thought of Ginny, and wanted to live. And afterwards, he’d returned to Ron and Hermione. There were other things to live for, that’s what he learnt. His friends, and his family. And even himself - he deserved to have a life. 

Now, I think part of Harry wonders if the resurrection could be done in reverse. He feels guilty about Neville’s death and useless for the purpose he’s been brought back for - they’d be better off with Neville. And, more selfishly, he might be tempted towards that because part of him thinks he’d be better off dead too. But the risk of that seems too great. Who’s to say Death would deal fairly this time and take him, rather than someone else? 

30. What would your muse do in the event of a zombie apocalypse? What would be their chances of survival?

Right now, pretty low, he’d be relying on others mostly, but I think the old Harry would stand a good chance. He’s taken on Inferi before and was completely hopeless because he doesn’t pay enough attention in class smh (it was also a stressful situation! he forgot, it happens!) but he learnt from that experience so he’d know to use fire against zombies now. I think he’s got good instincts, quick reaction time and is a skilled fighter, even more so after years of working as an Auror, so I think he could take a few zombies. Obviously, his priority would be making sure his children were safe. 

#leavestarswithin #rev talk #wow so i guess this got a bit sad in parts! #tw death #tw sucidal thoughts (brief mention) #( i'll never be your chosen one | muse )