Tumgik
#tw; dissociation
terrence-silver · 2 years
Note
Completely mindbreak her so she’s nothing but a doll who idly sits and blankly stares at nothing, or drive her so insane she no longer sees him. He finally has his precious control, but he lost his companion and the only person he truly cared about in the process. So what if her body is there? Her mind, heart and soul aren’t. They’ve escaped his grasp, his control.
.
10 notes · View notes
yesfxckyxu · 2 years
Note
“ you’ve been so quiet. what’s on your mind? ”  
promps.
Jack’s mind had wandered far into the crevices of many thoughts. Things that may or may not happen, having caused the young man to become quiet despite being in company with Francis. 
A sound of a deep bass inside his ears, or maybe that is just tinnitus. He doesn’t know. Jack kept on his feet, staring at his drink in hand, staring at how the liquid shimmers in the light - how the wrinkles of the surface move. The ice clicking together, almost rhythmic. If not... entrancing. 
The sound of Francis’ words causing Jack to blink slowly, eyes moving upward in a slow but fluid movement. Catching interest, but Jack doesn’t see Francis. He just sees the image. An image that could be false, right? Or is it really Francis? Jack adjusts his tongue in his mouth, wondering now if his mouth has run dry. 
He can’t tell. 
Tumblr media
“Sorry... got lost in thought.” Words said slowly, thoughtfully... 
“... Do you ever wonder about what is and isn’t real, some days? Or that we’re all just toys to an unseen force?” 
After all, he’s not the main character. But he knows he’s being watched. Watched but not seen, heard but not. 
When will Jack become real to those that play with him? 
1 note · View note
thecorvidforest · 7 months
Text
boy it would be nice to be able to google something related to personality disorders, psychosis, intellectual disabilities, autism, DID/OSDD, etcetera without finding majority articles that are like “how to deal with a person with X” “how to cope with your child with X” “how to spot someone faking X” “can people with X be cured?”
13K notes · View notes
iwillnotseeheaven · 3 months
Text
Tumblr media
3K notes · View notes
thenightsystem · 1 month
Text
Most people only get 4 stress responses: Fight, Flight, Fawn, and Freeze.
people with DID unlock the secret fifth one: Forget
-host
2K notes · View notes
Audio
人生の減少 [diminishing life] by ᵈᵉᵃᵗʰᵖᵒᵉᵐ
TW; depression, mention of death, suicidal thoughts but not actively suicidal, dissociation
I’ve been so horribly depressed that I’ve been thinking about death a lot. Wondering what’s after all this, what it feels like to die. In the deathdream songs I’ve listened to, there’s a sense that it feels like you’re falling. I wonder if it feels like falling in a dream, but you don’t jerk awake, or maybe you do jerk awake only to be somewhere else.
I’m not actively suicidal really, I don’t have a plan and I don’t really have a desire to act on it, but it’s there in the back of my head as it has been throughout my life since I was 10. I’ve been irritated a lot and my brain goes blank when trying to be social. I can’t think of anything, and trying to be lighthearted or comedic just pisses me off and I withdraw further.
I feel so uncomfortable in my body. For so many reasons. I’m not sleeping well and I’m waking up with tension pain everywhere. I’m staying up later at night, later than I was. My medication that's supposed to help me sleep is suddenly not making me as tired anymore, not until around 3AM when I force myself to go to sleep because my eyes feel heavy even though I can’t get comfortable and I’m not tired really.
I’m slipping back into that feeling of everything not feeling real again. It is what it is, I guess.
0 notes
ghosts-and-glory · 22 days
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
This page fought me every step of the way.
I’m trying to get the pacing back under control cause starting on page 6 instead of 1 messed up the way pages lead into eachother. I spent like an hour shuffling the panels around trying to get a nice layout going and had other people helping me. Don’t even talk to me about colouring. And I had to redraw like 50% of the panels cause I’d initially drawn this out like two months ago.
Narinder is built like a bag of bones, does not take much to send him across a room.
First // Previous // Next
2K notes · View notes
psychocitysblog · 9 months
Text
I wake up everyday just waiting to go back to bed.
4K notes · View notes
cupcakeslushie · 1 month
Note
have the boys ever had to restrain Donnie to keep him from hurting himself?
Tumblr media Tumblr media
There’s a lot of days where Donnie is just, half present and he gives in very easily to all those harmful, intrusive thoughts. On those days, the brothers try not to leave Donnie alone, so they can watch him. Most of the time it’s just small scale things—like Donnie picking and scratching too hard. Other days it’s bad. To keep Donnie from hurting himself, the brothers have to use some controlled restraint. They let go the second that he comes back to himself, but most times, Donnie doesn’t mind remaining in the tight holds. They feel secure.
But there are some episodes that come on too quickly and quietly, and they can’t stop Donnie from hurting himself. The family just have to patch him up, and try to once again explain why it’s harmful. Sometimes the talks go well, and sometimes they don’t make any headway. They know Donnie can’t help it, but it hurts them when Donnie just can’t grasp the concept that they don’t want him to be in pain….
Tumblr media
Most damage done would be days when he’s in his lab and has ample sharp tools around to really injure himself with. Days when the family thinks he’s fine, and want to give him his space, but Donnie hides how bad off he is. These days don’t happen often, because Donnie is more honest with updating his family than not, but there are times he lets those thoughts cloud his better judgment.
Draxum never cared, and the level of self-harm was much worse when he had less people watching out for him. The goyles tried to keep an eye out, but couldn’t be there all the time—same with Venus. Still, Draxum would at least notice the worst ones, and demand Three properly dress them, so the danger of infection didn’t set in. Three’s immune system is pretty strong though—Draxum designed him that way himself, so sadly he wasn’t ever truly that insistent.
844 notes · View notes
lifexxxdeath · 11 months
Text
oh no! my symptoms aren't fitting your romanticized narrative again!
3K notes · View notes
shiroi---kumo · 6 months
Text
Tumblr media
Faces of the King || The Alters
Tumblr media
⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆ I finally got it done. A full art of all of the Alters together in one picture. So now let me explain - because I will post them all as their own individual picture so you can see them better further in the post.
As I previously explained in this post Kumo has Dissociative Identity Disorder.
So his alters are as follows:
Valkoinen Pilvi; The True King
Snow Cloud; The Gentle Son
Holdfény; The Lost Moon
Makenshi; The Demon Swordsman
Little Cloud; The Captive Cloud
The Lamb; The Sacrificial Savior 
White Cloud; The Holy Avenger
Kumo; The Free Spirit
What you're seeing in this picture is how the alters view each other within the space of Kumo's mind. This is not a reflection of reality but rather within his own mind space.
They are all opinionated about each other and think of each other as completely separate entities from themselves.
The best example I can give you of this is White Cloud's extreme hatred of Makenshi. White Cloud is very opinionated - probably the most so out of all of them and has titles for every single one of them.
So this is what I meant by "accepts ALL of him" because all of his alters are him but they are not each other. They all have shared habits and quirks but they all also have habits and quirks and ticks that are all their own and not one of the others does.
So in summary:
Tumblr media
The Lamb is blank eyes and kinda eerie to look at for a long time. Broken doll. The lights are on but is anyone home? The Lamb hardly speaks and believes himself dead so he is beyond the ability to be killed. He sees himself as merely a ghost of Wonderland. White Cloud calls him "The Child of Misguided Sight"
Tumblr media
Makenshi is inverted and bares black hair and red eyes. His horns are a golden inversion of the usual amethyst and even his mist has turned black. Makenshi sees himself as a corrupted demon and is hesitant to let anyone close. White Cloud often calls him "The Child of Blight"
Little Cloud is much smaller in appearance and clings to Makenshi at near constant as both alters were born within Gaudium's torturous space. Little Cloud bears a collar and chain over his Sielun Värit to show his once servitude to Chaos. He is without a belt of mist bottles. White Cloud calls him "The Child of Fright."
Tumblr media
Snow Cloud / Maamuna never appears older than 15 years old at any given time. He is soft in his demeanor and doesn't carry a belt of mist bottles on his person. White Cloud calls him "The Child of Winter's Night."
Tumblr media
White Cloud is a strong presence that can be both aggressive and gentle depending on what is called of him. His eyes are always glowing bright white at all times and he holds no quarter for anyone he considers a fool. His obsession with his place as the Unlimited of Salvation drives most of his actions. He refers to himself as "The Child of Light."
Tumblr media
Kumo has the no visual differences from his outward appearance excluding his lack of the Maken in his possession. He is nearly always in air and loves to float and laze around. He's curious at constant and loves to explore. He loves to help everyone his hands can reach and to fix whatever troubles he can. White Cloud refers to him as "The Child of Plight."
Tumblr media
Holdfény is extremely cautious and hardly interacts with anyone including the other alters. He keeps to himself and there are only certain scents and sensations that can really bring him forward. The others view him constantly wearing the cloak he wore while living on Windaria with Kaze. The hood goes up or down sometimes but it is mostly up, as he was told not to put it down when he lived on Windaria. White Cloud calls him "The Child of Moonlight." as his name is Windarian for "Moonlight"
Tumblr media
Valkoinen Pilvi is the True King and the core of them all. While confident and extremely intelligent all of the other alters have made it their job to protect Pilvi at all costs. They however will not stand in his way as Pilvi is a dangerous force to cross should he feel the need to express his authority. He is always wearing his crown and in possession of the Maken as he is the true owner of the Celestial Mother's Holy Blade. His second title by way of Misterican Society is The Child of White.
Tumblr media
6 notes · View notes
terrence-silver · 2 years
Note
Can you write something in 1st person from Terry’s point of view as he becomes unhinged?
Terry doesn't even hear the full joke but he already knows it isn't funny.
Even if caught in fragments, he, in advance, gets the sourness of such humor.
He cannot muster to laugh. Not even in a rehearsed, artificial sort of way, indulging in a game of pretense --- not even a half-smile, Terry can't do it --- something deep inside tenses shut and he feels his own mouth press into a hard, impassive line. His chest is like a stone wall, unmoving, rigid when he hears those words a few hours post John departing the garden party after their impromptu chat on the balcony, away from prying ears. Emile's been having quite the mouth of him the entire time, the moment Terry came back downstairs. Terry tried to ignore it to maintain good decorum and in order to show off his hosting prowess, but he couldn’t deafen his own ears. -"Which war did he say he served in? World War II? He looks like a grizzled parchment."- He cackles and it is a statement that earns a couple of giggles, but Terry's mind is cold, listening from not so far off, eyeing the entree canape table, lost in thought, back turned. It wasn't a tremendously offensive statement. In fact, it was fairly tame, for all intents and purposes. Terry had a thick skin and he's heard and said far, far worse, but something about it rubbed him the wrong way. He could criticize John Kreese. John Kreese’s absences. John Kreese’s character. John Kreese’s motives, no matter how questionable. Why would anyone else be allowed to? Especially someone lacking context? Perhaps it was the blatant disrespect. First the Hapsburg jaw comment? Now this? Was this the type of company you keep, a voice in his mind whispers. Is this the type of company you keep? Is this the type of company you keep? The company you keep? The company you keep? Keep. Keep. Keep. Blackness fills his eyesight like the pricking of countless needles. He steadies himself through sheer discipline.
Carla's there helping to fill his Cognac glass for him.
She probably caught he's somewhere far off.
Terry knows a certain facade is slipping, but he cannot help it.
He shoots down the burning substance faster than he can blink.
Being both inside and outside of himself, he merely stands there, mutely, crystal liquor cup overflowing with ice in his hand once he gives himself a quick re-fill, the glass squeezed tight in his fingers, Terry imagines he could break it in half if he applied enough pressure. They're making fun of your oldest friend under your own roof and you're letting them. Why are you letting them? What the fuck is the matter with you? -"War criminal."- One of them adds with a self-apprasing, haughty snort and Terry turns from the filled Smorgasbord table suddenly but he never catches who it was from the peanut gallery gathered on the garden seat, wondering if his own brain conjured up the remark or if it was really uttered, his head hit with a sudden ache, something deep inside of his belly boiling, invisible needles pricking his skin. The world is spinning. If they're talking that way about your Captain, how do you figure they're talking about you when they think you aren't listening? The colorful canapes start resembling maggots --- overstuffed, grossly stomach-lurching.The same type he dreamed crawling out of Ponytail's open, fractured skull. They resemble jungle snakes impaled on chewing toothpicks. Collected trophy fingers. Carnage and spleens. Terry feels his knees shake ever so slightly as his appetite disperses, but he places his hand in his pocket to maintain the air of nonchalance as he nods towards a pair of guests heading out the beach front gate with their champagne glasses in tow. They never notice. They never notice. His therapist told him about this. Encounters from the past can trigger flashbacks. John Kreese was that past. Terry was aware John was partially to blame. But, there they were, the people of his supposed future, tongues alive with all their remarks, digging up half a century worth of bullshit.
The crowd mercifully clears.
Days pass.
The minute Terry is left all alone.
He breaks half of the glasses in his cellar’s mini-bar.
Almost like his anger waited for the appropriate moment to shoot out.
He bloodies his own fists and bare knuckles --- the irony doesn’t escape him.
That is, he promises himself, the last such event with those same people he hosts.
11 notes · View notes
traumaxprincess · 4 months
Text
Tumblr media
1K notes · View notes
thecorvidforest · 4 months
Text
Plurality Wrapped
This year you:
Fakeclaimed yourself 5,729 times
Accidentally discovered 92 trauma memories
Immediately forgot 92 trauma memories
Contradicted something a different headmate said 288 times
Almost outed yourself 45 times
Had littles spend all your money 67 times
Forgot what you were doing 2,890 times
Failed to mask as the host 176 times
Split who knows how many new headmates
Repeated the same story 39 times
Got jumpscared by your reflection 103 times
Your top moods this year:
Who the fuck am I
What if I’m secretly faking it
How long have I been standing here dissociating
I suddenly hate (current activity)
When did we split (headmate)???
2K notes · View notes
sad-leon · 1 month
Text
Tumblr media
3 AM
547 notes · View notes
iamstargirlposts · 1 month
Text
im a terrible person.
574 notes · View notes