#tw: child abuse mention

[schrijverr]

I Found Myself a Cheerleader 20

Chapter 20 out of 28

Bumped to the lowest step on the social ladder after his fight with Billy, Steve gets roped in with the cheer team. What starts as a favor to help them out when one member breaks her leg in turn for protection from the brunt of the bullying, sets the universe on a different path.

In this chapter, seeing Chrissy attacked has them all on edge, which isn’t helped when they return to the cabin and find it completely ransacked. Eddie missing from the scene. The search for him only sets them on the path to more danger.

On AO3.

Ships: steddie & buckingham

Warnings: general season 4 shenanigans, child abuse mention, hate-crime, homophobia, f-slur, bullying mention

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Chapter 20: The Escape

Steve screams Chrissy’s name loudly and shakes her, despite the fact he knows it won’t do anything to save her.

Behind him, the others get there and see what has happened. Max is rushing forward, already pulling off her own headphones to give to Chrissy, but she is stopped by Lucas, who yells: “Are you insane? Vecna is looking for a target right now.”

“Do you expect me to let her die for me?” Max screams back, an again going unspoken. “She needs music.”

A part of Steve wishes Lucas hadn’t stopped Max, but he knows that wouldn’t have solved anything. Right now Chrissy needs music and Steve knows how to get it. He quickly scoops Chrissy up, hating how light she feels as he yells: “Get out of the fucking way!”

The party scrambles to let him pass as he carries Chrissy down the stairs, relieved she isn’t floating yet. Robin is at his side, Nancy at his back. Nancy asks: “Where are you going?”

“She needs music, I’m bringing her to music,” Steve replies.

“You’ll never make it to the car,” Nancy argues. “It’s too far.”

“We don’t have to make it to the car,” Steve tells her.

“The piano,” Robin exclaims, picking up on what Steve is saying as they hustle down the stairs to the now abandoned piano where once a happy family sang.

Right as he crosses the threshold, Chrissy floats out of his arms, hanging there in that horrid, ominous way. She always loved flying, but not like this. Steve wants to pull her back to earth, but knows music is more important to get right now.

So he lets Robin tug helplessly on Chrissy’s shoe as he takes place at the piano. Steve is the only one who gets to make Chrissy fly, not this Venca creep, and he is the one that knows how to get her down safely. Always there to catch her.

It’s been almost half a year since Hopper’s funeral, when they broke into his house to steal a suit to wear. However, the song still comes to him, having been burned into his memory. He thanks god for the strict French nurse, who had taught him.

Everything around him disappears as he starts to play. Hands gliding over the keys as the notes of We’ll Meet Again float through the air. The piano is a little out of tune, but it adds to the charm, well, Steve hopes so at least.

He doesn’t know all the words, but he knows the chorus, so he sings: “We’ll meet again. Don’t know where. Don’t know when. But I know we’ll meet again some sunny day.”

After that Robin takes over. She’s a decent singer and Steve wonders when she learned this song or if she has always known it. However, as long as she keeps singing Steve doesn’t care. The two of them keep on creating the music, hoping that Chrissy will come back to them, instead of leaving them behind.

The room is filled with the haunting piano and Robin’s surprisingly nice voice.

It seems to take a life time.

It only takes a minute.

Steve thinks it will never end.

The moment never really begins.

Then Chrissy is collapsing down to the ground, limp for a second, but seemingly still breathing. Of course Steve gets up immediately to check on her, right behind Robin. However, he is pushed back to the piano by Max, who demands: “Keep playing! He’s still here.”

Naturally, Steve plops back down on the bench without question as he starts up the notes again. It is harder this time, because he keeps trying to look back to where Chrissy is gasping, trying to come down from her encounter with Vecna.

He hears Robin ramble in that concerned comforting way of her and when he glances back Max is next to Chrissy too. The only one, who can know what she might have gone through.

Dustin, however, has disappeared outside with Lucas, but soon returns with a recording device, so they can tape Steve’s playing. It has proven effective, so it’s their best shot for Chrissy. Especially since the other tape is broken. Robin singing again just in case that’s important.

Once they get the tape, they put it in the backup walkman Steve brought and by god is he relieved as they hand it to Chrissy, meaning Steve can leave his bench.

Steve doesn’t waste a second, sliding out of the piano bench and running to where Chrissy is clinging to Robin. Though she lets go in favor of falling into Steve’s arms when he drops to the floor next to her.

“Oh god, Stevie, she- she was there,” Chrissy sobs and Steve holds her closer, knowing she is talking about her mother.

“You’re okay, you’re okay,” he assures her, as he strokes her hair, not wanting to give too much of her private details away to the party around them. “She’s not there. You’re not with her. You here with me and Robs and the others. You’re safe. You’re alive. I got you. I always got you.” He kisses the top of her head.

Chrissy cries a little more, hiding into Steve’s chest as Robin rubs her back, obviously unsure about what else to do.

When they have all come down from the crazy experience, they go to the Wheeler house. All of them collapse on the couches, not having been spotted by Karen or Ted. The exhaustion after the adrenaline drops makes that all of them forget about anything but sleep.

The next morning, they go by the grocery store. They’re all stuffed into Nancy’s car, probably looking a little insane as they pick a six-pack and some snacks and stuff to make dinner. If they need to hide Eddie for a little longer, Steve can cook for him. A good home cooked meal can do wonders for the soul.

But as they get to the cabin, Nancy gasps and hits the break in a way that tosses them all around in the car.

Steve is about to make a comment to her about safe driving, when he notices what made her react like that. The door to the cabin is open, the glass broken and on the walls is smeared in red spray paint the word FAG next to it is MURDERER.

His blood runs cold as he stumbles out of the car, aware of the kids behind him, who now see what has been done to his cabin. There has always been the sense that the cabin still belongs to Hopper in a way, his presence felt in location, security measures and room. However, looking at it now, Steve has never felt more like he owns it.

His cabin is his home. His safe space. He loves living there, finally having a place of his own that he can exist in without judgment or prying eyes, only letting in those that he wants there. And now that has been violated.

In his horror, he hasn’t even realized what that could mean for Eddie, who had been hidden there, until Dustin is running past him, calling out: “Eddie? Eddie!”

Without thinking, he snaps his arm up and grabs the back of Dustin’s sweater. Dustin looks back, frowning and looking offended as he exclaims: “What the hell, dude! Eddie might be in there. We need to find him.”

“I know,” Steve replies. “But maybe there is someone else in there too.”

That gets everyone’s attention as they look from Steve to the cabin, its open door now looking like a gaping maw instead of a welcoming entrance beckoning.

So far no one has commented on what is painted on the cabin, but Steve feels the words’ judgment as he takes the lead. When there is danger, Steve knows what to do. When they might get hurt, Steve is in the front.

Inside, the whole cabin is overturned. His couches are shoved to the side and blankets are strewn around. In the kitchen all the cabinets are open. Looking into the bathroom, he sees the shower curtains have been pulled down.

The doors to his own room and Hopper’s room are cracked open. His own room is better for hiding, so he pushes the one open first. His heart beats in his chest and he hates that he does not have a weapon as he waits for someone to jump him. The door creaking slightly.

Empty.

His closet is open, clothes tossed around. His bed is a mess and the window is open. But the room is abandoned, no one is there.

Hopper’s room has met the same fate and Steve curses whoever has done this. How dare they invade Hopper’s place. El’s last memory of her dad. Her one wish for this cabin in which she found kindness and love. He vows to clean up everything to how it had been when all this is behind them, so El can still come home properly.

“It’s abandoned,” he calls out. The words a relief as well as a mystery, a terrible mystery. The cabin might not have a threat, but Eddie has disappeared to and none of them know where he might be and what might have happened to him.

“Where is Eddie?” Dustin asks, sounding scared. Steve immediately hates how he sounds. Hates how he doesn’t have an answer. Hates how he is focusing on keeping himself from panicking so he can’t focus on finding an answer.

“I can’t see his clothes anywhere,” Nancy says. “Maybe he took them and ran.”

“Why would they even come here?” Robin asks.

“Who came here?”

“The basketball team,” Lucas speak up and they all look at him. He explains: “It must have been them. They’re on a war path. They think Eddie killed one of their own. They want his blood.”

“But Eddie didn’t do it,” Dustin points out.

“Well they don’t know that, do they?” Lucas snaps. “All they know Patrick died in his trailer with only him there. They hate his guts, Dustin. Just like they hate yours and now mine and Steve’s and everyone who has ever dared to not be cool and popular.”

It’s quiet, Dustin looks as if he’s been slapped in the face, staring at Lucas as they both breathe heavily.

Lucas then looks away and says: “And I wanted to be part of them, just so I wouldn’t be hated by them. They’re hunting us right now. I’m- I’m sorry, I should have listen to you and Mike. I was just so tired of the bullying.”

Steve readies himself to step in if Dustin makes a wrong move. He knows how Lucas has been struggling and he doesn’t want Dustin to ruin this. But he is pleasantly surprised when Dustin replies: “Hey, I get it. If I had more hand eye coordination I might try your method too.”

That gets a huffed laugh out of Lucas and he holds out his hand that Dustin shakes, before pulling Lucas into a hug.

Right when they let go, the radio that has been left by the party so Eddie could contact them, which has now been abandoned on the table, crackles to life. Eddie’s voice says: “Dustin, can you hear me? Stevie? Wheeler?”

Dustin fumbles for the radio, clicking it on with a breathless: “Eddie! Holy shit. Are you okay? Over.”

“Nah, man. Pretty- Pretty goddamn far from okay,” Eddie replies. He sounds rough, shaken up, but not hurt. Steve hates that he is relieved by the emotional devoid tone, because it at least means that Eddie is safe.

“Where is he?” Nancy asks.

“Where are you? Over,” Dustin repeats.

“Skull Rock,” Eddie answers. “Do you know it?”

They do know where that is, so they tell Eddie they’re coming. Steve slips on a comforting sweater, needing something soothing right now. He also grabs his nail bat from under his bed. Something made Eddie flee, it cannot be good and he wants his bat with him.

The walk is silent at the start. Steve keeps thinking back of his cabin, on how they knew to look there, knew to target him. That the kids saw what had been spray painted on the front.

Robin must feel his gloomy mood, because she slides up next to him and takes his hand. She squeezes it and he squeezes back. A gesture of silent support. She knows what is going through his head, she gets his fear and she is here for him every step of the way.

Chrissy also catches up with them, bumping her shoulder against his as she takes off one of the headphones. She quietly asks: “Are you okay?”

He looks at her, concerned eyes looking back. Chrissy has always been too kind for her own good honestly. So caring. He smiles at her and says: “I will be. This isn’t the worst that happened this week.”

“I know, but you can still be upset,” Chrissy tells him.

Steve hadn’t fully considered that. Sure, he is upset, but they have to move on. The town is getting worse and Vecna is still on the loose. They have to stop him and clear Eddie’s name without anyone getting hurt, so they don’t have time for Steve to mope. Chrissy makes it sound easy though, like of course he is allowed to be upset.

“Thanks,” he nods. Then is quiet for a beat, before he says: “I just don’t get why they always have to come back when I think I’ve gotten rid of them. I haven’t even done anything.”

“Well, you did house Eddie, you know. I think they don’t care about anything else you might have done,” Robin pipes up, then winces. “Bad comment.”

“It’s okay, Robs,” Steve laughs. He doesn’t mind her off the cuff comments. They can be quite funny and are a quirk of her. He doesn’t get annoyed, he only snaps if he feels under stress or hurt and she often knows when not to push.

“I also don’t think it would have mattered,” Chrissy adds. “I know those guys, if they’re convinced of something, they won’t stop chasing it. You’re just collateral.”

And Steve has been part of that crowd for years, witnessed them from Chrissy’s perspective for half a year and has been their target for a while now. He knows how they can be. How they don’t need evidence that it’s true, just the knowledge that it hurts. He sighs: “I know.”

“It’s gonna be okay, dingus,” Robin assures him with a soft grin.

“Yeah, I’m sure they won’t do anything with that weapon on you,” Chrissy says, nodding the nail bat he has been swinging absentmindedly.

He looks down at it and laughs, a bit surprised, he had forgotten he is carrying it and that is registers as scary. The nail bat for him is protection, not something to be afraid of. He smiles: “Yeah, I can take them.”

“Like that Russian guard,” Robin pipes up and Chrissy raises her brow at them when Steve nods in agreement.

“But I don’t want to kill anyone,” Steve amends. The bat is for non-human monsters, the kind that don’t stay down after a hit. Steve doesn’t think if he can stomach it if he’s responsible for someone seriously getting hurt, or worse.

“Yeah, yeah,” Robin waves him away. “At some point you gotta stop pulling punches, dingus. I am not capable of saving you if you throw yourself in danger like a dumbass. Look at these arms,” she shakes her arm in his face, “noodles! Incapable of fighting a grown man.”

Steve starts to laugh at Robin. Then Chrissy comments: “I think you could fight someone. You’re pretty strong, Robs.”

The look on Robin’s face is incredible. She turns entirely red and splutters a bit. Steve is now fully laughing at her and she shoves him away with a loud: “Shut up, dingus.”

“Okay, okay,” Steve laughs, putting his hands up as backs away. He wants to laugh a little bit at Robin’s expense, not out her.

He realizes that with them there, he has forgotten a little about why he was in a mood and now he can pay more attention to where they are. He calls out to Dustin: “Hey, we’re going in the wrong way.”

“No we’re not,” Dustin stubbornly replied.

“Dude, I’m telling you, you’re taking us the wrong way,” Steve says, walking a bit faster to catch up with Dustin.

“It’s North. I’m positive. I checked the map,” Dustin tells him in that way that tells Steve Dustin thinks he knows best.

A little annoyed, Steve points out: “You do realize Skull Rock is a super popular make out spot?”

“Yeah, so?”

“Yeah, well, it wasn’t popular, until I made it popular, alright? I practically invented it,” Steve informs him. “We’re heading in the wrong direction.”

He starts walking in the right direction, Dustin might be smart, but Steve knows he’s right here, so he doesn’t listen as Dustin complains: “Steve. Where are you going? Steve!”

“Stop whining,” he just tells Dustin as he waves everyone to come with him. “Let’s go. Trust me.”

Reluctantly Dustin follows as do the others as Steve leads them through a familiar forest. He turned Skull Rock into a make out spot when he was still King Steve, before Nancy he kissed many girls there, wondering why it never really felt like the movies.

Dustin is now walking next to him, looking a little sulkily down at his compass. Steve knows he’ll get over it if he gives him a moment, so he lets him stew as they walk side by side.

Sporadically he turns back to check on everyone. Lucas and Max are seemingly having a good conversation, Chrissy and Robin are joking around as well and Nancy is diligently watching the rear. He makes eye contact with her and she sends him a smile, he smiles back before looking ahead again, wondering why that made him uneasy.

Before he can think too much about it, Dustin suddenly says: “Was Lucas right? You know, when he said the basketball team hates you for not being cool and popular? That doesn’t make sense. You are cool.”

Steve’s heart constricts at that. He knows that Dustin has always looked up to him and he loves the blind faith the boy puts in him. It’s one of the few things he has never wanted to take from any of the kids; their trust in him.

“I’m glad you think so, dude,” Steve says as he scrambles for what else to say.

Dustin shoots him an annoyed look and complains: “Steveee,” obviously realizing how Steve is deflecting.

“Henderson,” Steve counters snappily, before taking a breath. He doesn’t want to fight with Dustin right now, he is too worried about Eddie and being a target himself, so he amends: “It wasn’t the worst, I just lost a fight against Billy and the results were very publicly visible. There isn’t really a social recovery from that.”

“But you’re Steve,” Dustin says, like that means anything. And to Dustin, it probably does.

“I am,” Steve smiles, unable to help the sadness that clings to his voice.

“You are like the coolest guy, I remember Mike yammering on about it when you and Nancy got together,” Dustin replies. “And Billy should have left you alone after Max’s threat.”

“He did, he did,” Steve lies. “Rumors just fly and I was loosing popularity long before that. It just happens sometimes, no big deal. Didn’t you say yourself that popularity is just a construct for high schoolers.”

“I mean, yeah,” Dustin agrees and Steve is glad he is seemingly letting it go, though never entirely of course. “But the basketball team are high schoolers. We need to get into their heads.”

“Dustin, you’re also a high schooler,” Steve points out, faintly amused by the turn this conversation has taken, but feeling the fear creep into his chest as well. He doesn’t want Dustin to press about the basketball team, doesn’t want to lie to him, doesn’t want to think about telling him the truth either.

“It’s different,” Dustin protests.

“Sure it is, buddy,” Steve tells him, going for condescending in the hope Dustin will get offended and defend himself instead of asking further.

“It is,” Dustin insists, taking the bait. “Because I am a mature person, who is above popularity contests, while basketball players by the virtue of being a basketball player, obviously do care, therefore are susceptible to those sort of things. In order to get into their minds, we have to understand that.”

“Lucas plays basketball,” Steve points out the flaws in Dustin’s logic. It’s hilarious that the kid is calling himself mature when he is so clearly kid-like on some fronts.

“He doesn’t count.”

“How so?”

“Well, he came to his senses and saw he was wrong.”

“And what about me?”

“You are on thin ice, but you also distanced yourself – I’m proud of you for that by the way.”

“Oi, don’t get cocky with me now, you little shit!”

“I’m not!” Dustin squawks, then immediately amends: “Well, maybe a little bit. But I’m almost always right.”

“Really?” Steve raises a brow.

“Yeah, like right now,” Dustin replies. “I checked the map and compass a thousand times, Steve. We need to head North and right now we’re not going North. We’re never going to find Eddie like this, I mean it.”

In a twist of beautiful irony, they come up on Skull Rock. Steve doesn’t answer Dustin directly, just exclaims: “Oh boom. Bada bing, bada boom. There she is, Henderson. Skull Rock. In your face, man, in your stupid, cocky little face.”

“It doesn’t make sense,” Dustin frowns, because he is a know it all, who can never be wrong.

“Yeah, yeah,” Steve waves him away as he scans the place for Eddie. “Even with it staring you right in the face, you can’t admit it. Can’t admit you’re wrong, you butthead.”

“I concur,” a voice says behind them and they whip around, only to be filled with relief when it is Eddie, unharmed and well. He grins: “You, Dustin Henderson, are a total butthead.”

Steve shouldn’t find his little breath and the way he hoist up his jeans hot, but he does, so he just stares dumbly at Eddie for a second, as Dustin says: “Jesus, we thought you were a goner.” He pulls Eddie into a hug while Steve pulls himself together.

He watches as Eddie hugs back and hears the exhausted tone in Eddie’s voice as he replies: “Yeah, me too, man. Me too.”

His heart aches for Eddie, who is obviously going through hell. He just had to flee from Steve’s cabin, a place they thought he would be safe. A place Steve thought, he would be safe. And now that is gone.

It is gone and all the emotions that he had managed to forget while bickering with Dustin come bubbling right back up. He doesn’t know what has happened, but he will never forget arriving at the cabin and seeing it like that, just like his car at graduation. The image is something that will stick with him forever and he can’t imagine what it was like for Eddie to be present as they did it.

Needing to remind himself that Eddie made it out okay, that Steve isn’t alone in what happened and that they’re both shaken up, but have each other, he lets his bat fall and reaches out and pulls Eddie into a hug.

The action is a little clumsy with Eddie stumbling as Steve pulls him in, needing to steady himself before he is able to hug back. But when he does, it’s soothing. Steve can feel parts of his shoulders unclench as he feels Eddie’s warmth under his hands, his breaths against his skin, the way Eddie holds on to his sweater.

“I am so glad you’re okay,” he whispers fiercely. “I- I got so scared when I saw the cabin. They- they graffiti-ed it, broke my front door. Fuck- Eds, they got in.”

Eddie rubs a soothing hand down Steve’s spine. Steve feels kind of guilty, because he should be comforting Eddie right now and instead Eddie is comforting him, but it’s too nice to step away from. Especially when Eddie whispers back: “I’m okay now, sweetheart. We’re okay. I’m sorry about your cabin.”

Steve lets out a laugh, it’s a little hysteric and a little too close to a sob, but it’s a laugh. He steps back before he can get emotional in front of everyone and tries to play it off. “I do not care about my cabin right now, dude.”

He catches Eddie’s eye, heart fluttering when Eddie grins at him the moment their eyes meet. Eddie pats his pockets with a twinkle in his eyes as he says: “I’m glad about that, don’t think I can pay you back right now.”

“You’re a fucking idiot,” Steve informs him.

Before Eddie can reply to that or defend himself, they are interrupted by an indignant Dustin, who demands to know: “How long has this been going on?”

“What?” Eddie asks, like he honestly has no fucking clue what Dustin is talking about, something Steve knows is a lie, because the edge of a dimple is showing.

“This- this canoodling!” Dustin exclaims and Steve has to bite the inside in his cheek to not laugh at the kid.

“Don’t be dramatic, Henderson,” he tells him, aloofness always coming easy to him. “My house has just been broken into, I’m allowed to be worried about the fugitive I was housing there. Maybe instead of being weird catch Eddie up on that Vector creep.”

“You-” Dustin starts, pointing at Steve in an accusing manner, before dropping it in favor of recounting all their discoveries and the absolute mess that has been the last 24 hours.

As Dustin talks the others chime in with additions to what they experienced to create a full picture for Eddie, who isn’t looking like he has much faith in the operation. Steve can understand that, especially when they move onto how to kill Vecna, for which they would have to go into the Upside Down. Something that isn’t really possible right now.

Their options look pretty bleak.

However, something in the conversation must have triggered Dustin, because he starts to pace up and down as he mutters to himself. Both Steve and Eddie track his movement with curiosity until Eddie leans in and asks: “Hey, uh, Henderson’s not, uh, cursed, is he?”

“Cursed?” Steve repeats. “No, no, he’s fine. Mental? Absolutely.”

That gets a smile out of Eddie again, though Steve can’t feel satisfaction at that, because they both startle when Dustin suddenly yells: “Boom! Bada. Bada. Boom. I was right! Skull Rock was North.”

“Seriously? You’re serious?” Steve asks. He knows Dustin is a cocky little bastard, but this is a little extreme. But Dustin hums as he nods. Steve gestures around them: “This is Skull Rock, okay?” Again that stupid little hum and nod. “You’re totally, absolutely, 100% wrong! Right now.”

“Yes,” Dustin agrees. “And no.”

“Oh my god,” Steve mutters to the sky. He can’t with this kid sometimes. Next to him Eddie snorts at his misery, the traitor.

“This worked correctly when we left the Wheeler’s house. Correct when we got in the car on Curly, but it started to slip the further East we went. Now it’s way off,” Dustin explains. “When I was leading us here, I wasn’t wrong. The compass was.”

“So you’re using faulty equipment. You’re still wrong,” Steve argues, feeling a little silly, but also annoyed. He is right, goddammit. He found Skull Rock. He won’t let Dustin take that from him. He needs the win.

But then the conversation quickly devolves into something Steve can’t follow and he is reminded of just how smart Lucas is as well when the kid easily catches Dustin’s drift. Steve can barely follow the first part, but he does get that there might be another gate.

“Snack sized gate,” Robin nods, also understanding and Steve loves her and her wonderful, dorky mind. Chrissy obviously does too with the way she snorts at that.

“How? Why?” he asks instead, because those are valid questions. Portals are never good news. The only times Steve has seen portals is when monsters crawl out them.

“No idea,” Dustin answers honestly. “All I know is that something is causing this disturbance and the last time we’ve seen anything like it, it was a gate. And I hope it is, because then we’d have a way to Vecna. And a shot at freeing Chrissy and Max from this curse.”

With those words, he starts to walk away and fear grips Steve immediately. He calls out: Where are you going? Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.” Dustin stops and looks back at him. “Eddie’s still a wanted man, who got attacked, I might add. We can’t just go hike in the woods.”

“This little steel capsule,” Dustin holds up the compass like the dramatic nerd that he is, “might be the key to saving Chrissy, Max and Eddie.” He focuses his attention to Eddie, who has been disappearing a little into the background, which is unlike him. “What say you, Eddie the Banished?” Dustin asks him.

“I say, you’re asking me to follow you into Mordor, which – if I’m totally straight with you – I think is a really bad idea,” Eddie tells Dustin and Steve nods, glad the other isn’t letting the kid run towards danger. “But, uh, the Shire- the Shire is burning.”

Steve feels his insides plummet at that, he vaguely recalls this from one of Eddie’s rambles and it sounds like he is going to agree with Dustin. Something that is confirmed to Steve when Dustin starts to jump excitedly like an idiot. Eddie gets up and it feels like the beginning of the end as he says: “So Mordor it is.”

Everyone takes that as a sign to start moving and Steve picks up his bat as he mutters: “What’s Mordor?” to himself, watching Eddie forget his stuff and run back. A little bitchily he says: “Get your stuff, dude. Let’s go.”

He feels like he’s allowed to be annoyed with Eddie for agreeing to Dustin’s bullshit.

During their walk through the forest, Dustin drags Eddie along with him, excited about the prospect of adventure. Eddie doesn’t look wholly convinced, but Steve isn’t saving him either. Eddie dug his own grave, let him lie in it.

Steve, meanwhile, is watching the rear of the group. The bat swings casually, the weight comforting in his hand. If anyone tries anything, he at least won’t be unarmed.

Eddie never really said what happened at the cabin, but that only makes Steve worry more. Eddie is never quiet. Whatever happened, Steve won’t mind making Jason loose a few teeth.

It’s dark by the time Dustin has lead them to the edge of the lake, right to where Fred must have died. Nancy looks a little green and clings to Steve’s arm, who supports her. After Barb this can’t be easy on her.

“There’s a gate in Lover’s Lake?” Max asks, voicing their confusion out loud.

“Whenever the demogorgon attacked, it always left an opening,” Nancy says, having pulled herself together into her mask of professionalism. “Maybe Vecna’s the same way.”

“Yeah, only one way to find out,” Steve says, not liking where his night is going, because if there is a gate on the bottom of that Lake, Steve knows who is going to check it out. And that is him. He’s not letting anyone else do it, even if he hates the idea of doing it himself.

They go look for a boat unearthing one near the docks. Eddie and Steve carry it to the water, it’s not a big boat, can fit maybe five people, max. Not all of them can go.

It’s clear the others have noticed too, but no one comments on it as Robin steps in, before helping Chrissy aboard as well, then Nancy. Steve wants to protest that, but is distracted by Eddie climbing past him, who is followed by Dustin.

Well, Dustin attempts to follow him. Eddie, however, stops him in his tracks with: “Hey, hey, hey, are you trying to sink us? This thing holds four people, tops. Okay?”

“It’s better this way. You guys stay here with Max. Keep an eye out for trouble,” Nancy explains and Steve realizes they mean to leave him behind there. Just the babysitter again.

“You keep an eye out,” Dustin snarks back, not wanting to be left behind. “It’s my theory.”

“They’re right, Dustin. Leave it,” he speaks up, already thinking about he is going to get aboard as he stealthily puts his nail bat in the boat.

“Since when are you on their side,” Dustin exclaims.

“Since they’re talking sense,” Steve rolls his eyes at Dustin.

“Yeah, listen to Nance,” Robin tells Dustin from where she is making Chrissy more comfortable on the boat.

“Who put her in charge?” Dustin asks, indignantly.

“I did,” Robin replies cheerily and Steve has to work not to laugh at that bitchy comment.

With that Dustin gives in and hands over the compass to Nancy, though he obviously does not want to and will make that clear to everyone. Steve doesn’t care if he complains about it for the rest of his life, as long as he stays away from the danger.

Steve pushes off the boat and quick steps aboard. Eddie has left a space open for him, obviously anticipating this while Nancy frowns, which Steve ignores in favor of apologizing to Dustin, whom he is leaving behind, much to Dustin’s dismay.

Nancy is less annoyed with his presence on the boat when he and Eddie start paddling so the three girls can investigate the waters to look if they see anything.

After a little bit, the compass starts going wild. They have found the gate. Well, probably. They still don’t know for sure. Robin is checking in with Dustin in the most Robin-like manner, informing Dustin that: “Your compass has gone from wonky to wonky with a capital ‘ahh!’”

She hasn’t realized what that means yet, but Steve has, so he is already taking off his shoes and socks, wanting to get ahead of protests before anyone can notice. Nancy, of course, notices: “Steve, what are you doing?”

“Somebody’s gotta go down there and check this out,” he informs them, hoping he sounds authoritative enough for them to let him go. “Unless one of you four can top being a Hawkins High swim co-captain and certified lifeguard for three years, then it’s gotta be me. No complaints, alright?”

“Hey, I’m not complaining,” Eddie backs him up, though Steve thinks that is more out of fear, which he can’t blame the guy for, especially as he watches him fumble with his pocket, probably looking for a smoke.

“I do not want to go down there,” Chrissy agrees, looking anxiously at the blackness pooling all around them.

Steve takes of his sweater, hearing crinkles behind him. When he turns around, Eddie is the source of the noise. He is holding some cigarettes like Steve suspected, but he has also tied a plastic bag around a flashlight so Steve will be able to see down there. Eddie offers it to him with a soft: “Hey. Good luck.”

And it hits Steve that what he is about to do is dangerous. He might not come back, he might not see any of them again.

With lead in his heart, he takes the flashlight from Eddie, letting their fingers touch. Then he looks at Robin, imprinting what she looks like in his mind, before doing the same to Chrissy. He turns back to Eddie then, decides to be a little bold, since it might be the last time.

So, he gives Eddie a one over, getting stuck on his lips between which now is a cigarette, before looking in those deep, dark, beautiful eyes. He winks and says: “Thanks,” before diving into the cold water.

Steve swims down, muscle memory taking over as he searches for the gate. He finds it looking gross and glowing. Sickly in the lake bed. He reaches out to touch it, feeling oddly compelled to do so, startling back when it seems something is trying to reach back.

He needs to get away from it, he thinks wildly, as he kicks off from the bottom and breaks back out on top. He holds on to the side of the boat and reports: “I found it.”

The four, who he must have startled by his sudden appearance, lean back towards him and ask: “You found it?”

“I found it. Yeah, I found it,” Steve confirms, still panting slightly from his time without air, his heart beating fast after the scare. He wants to get out of this water. And soon.

He is about to ask for a hand back onto the boat, needing to tell them to get out of there, because the gate looks out of place. Dangerous. When he feels something wrap around his leg. His eyes grow wide and he catches Robin looking back.

Her excited exclamation to Dustin dies on her lips and she reaches back out to him, the question about whether he is okay never reaching his ears as the something yanks him down.

Steve struggles and fights, but it’s no use. The water around him turns into a slimy feeling as Steve is dragged through the gate. Into the Upside Down.

~~

A/N:

I love conversations between people too much, which gets in the way of plot, but we are getting there, no matter how slow!!!

#rr writing #stranger things #steve harrington #steddie #eddie munson #robin buckley #platonic stobin #stobin #buckingham #chrissy cunningham #cheerleader steve harrington au #the party stranger things #dustin henderson #lucas sinclair #max mayfield #nancy wheeler #st season 4 #chrissy lives au #tw: child abuse mention #tw: hate crime #tw: homophobia #tw: f slur #tw: bullying mention

[agena87]

And here is Dennis, Maxwell's little brother; he's 8 and must be protected at all costs, OK? Yes, he does eat humans occasionally, but that's not his fault, he was - just like Max and all the other kids - literally taught to do so since birth (they don't only give milk to babies on the Farm - but bottles of blood too... - as I said, they are nutters).

After Maxwell, he's the second favourite victim of Jasper (who's convinced that both of them are the sons of a demon); which is one of the many reasons why Jasper must die.

#ts4 #the sims 4 #ts4 cas #oc: dennis hammer #story: sacrélège #tw: child abuse mention

[seeingteacupsindragons]

There's a discussion to be had about separating the art from the artist, but I also think in cases like Rurouni Kenshin and the TERF Wizard books, it actually doesn't matter. The fact of the matter is, continuing to consume those series directly contributes to real-world harm by giving those creators air space, attention, and money.

Given the fact of Watsuki's case, is there any reasonable doubt he's still purchasing CSEM? With the royalties he's receiving for the latest publication of Ruro Ken? That people are offering him by buying his things and watching the anime that's about to come out?

And I'd like to be clear: the latest Ruro Ken chapters are offered in the same magazine as Yuukoku no Moriarty. This means, by buying the Jump Square chapters as they release each month, I am not only providing Miyoshi-sensei with money, Watsuki is getting a cut of the profit, too. And I cannot do anything about that. I don't even know how his earning's compare to Miyoshi's in what I'm offering.

Obviously, buying the tankoban's only offer royalties to the creators of that series. But the profits from the magazine are split up.

So I don't think this is something I, or the YuuMori fandom, can really morally not engage with on some level. Obviously there's complicated nuance here.

But, perhaps, if I can, by reminding people of what Watsuki has done and is almost certainly continuing to do, offset my small contribution to his success, it's worth it to me to do that.

#Yuukoku no Moriarty #Moriarty the Patriot #tw: CSEM mention #tw: child abuse mention #Rurouni Kenshin

[lokiinmediasideblog]

Book Review: "Black Wolf: The Binding of Loki" by Una Verdandi

I liked a lot of things about this book (4/5). I think it's a worthwhile read despite me disliking some decisions and aspects. I would only avoid if some of the topics are triggering or if some of the things I mention in the "Cons" list are deal-breakers for you. My main complaint is how LONG this book is. 900+ pages! I would not recommend to people who prefer softer depictions of Loki. He spirals into something akin to the Joker in this one, still a very compelling depiction regardless and I enjoyed it (I do like the Joker as a character).

Loki is not soft or silly in this book. He terrifies pretty much everyone (to the point where they don't taunt him much despite them disapproving of his lifestyle and choices, and I'd argue Thor gets taunted more over being unmanly over his beard being burnt off by Loki). What softness he had gets lost in the end. And he is impossible to humiliate because he just doesn't give a fuck about anything or how he's perceived. With the exception of Sleipnir ( it wasn't rape in this book, he spends a lot of time as an animal and wanted a child), the myths that made Loki seem like a silly fuck-up (such as the goat CBT) were omitted. He's an unnerving and unpredictable force in this re-telling.

Warnings: There's physical abuse, period-typical queerphobia, referenced miscarriages, child abuse, rape, domestic violence, lots of murder, referenced genocide, and questionable use of binding oaths. There's referenced/implied underage sexual activity, implied CSA. The morality is rather "period-typical."

Pros:

It has probably the best Sigyn characterization I've ever encountered in a book. She feels realistic and complicated. She's pragmatic and very strong and independent, and also has a history of being an abuse victim, and she takes no shit. This is coming from the blog that constantly trashes a lot of her characterizations.

I also liked Sif's characterization, and the way her relationship with Loki is interpreted here is very interesting and ends up driving a lot of the plot. Frigg's characterization is also compelling. She did everything to prevent the death of her son. This book wrote women rather well and that's very unusual.

I liked how Loki's shapeshifter powers work here. He basically has to make himself again back from scratch (he can heal himself in that way), and this book also plays with body horror (looking at his transformations is very disturbing and it's painful for him). Loki is shown to have a very high pain tolerance for this reason.

I think this book's messy dynamics and portrayals are compelling and interesting. Odin manipulates his sons and destroys their relationships in doing so while trying to avoid the Prophecy of Ragnarok.

Loki was not boring. He's compelling despite being VERY awful. The Aesir killed off his people ( a clan of Jotnar that are referred to as "Nomads") and "adopted" him, thinking they would avoid the Prophecy of Ragnarok in doing so. He's very much aware of his history and rightfully resents the Aesir for it. He spends a lot of time in animal form, and this is something Jotnar are known to do and how most of his children came to be. Loki reads like a domesticated force of nature more than anything.

I liked the Cain and Abel dynamic established between Balder and Loki. And Balder being a dumb-ass indestructible child taunting Thor into hitting him by telling him that Loki was right about Thor "having fat tits" was hilarious and got me to read the damn long-ass book.

I liked the idea of the Gods navigating modern day post-apocalyptic Midgard trying to catch Loki, and criticizing the lack of housing casually (because Rules of Hospitality).

The Jotnar are portrayed in a sympathetic light rather than evil monsters that must be vanquished.

Cons:

I liked the Logyn in this book a lot and was disappointed to see Loki evolve into a VERY abusive asshole to his wife and children. The one time I thought it plausible and found Logyn compelling this happened! Basically, Loki's marriage to Sigyn was arranged by Odin to avoid intrafamilial conflict. Sigyn gained Loki's respect with her wit and pragmatism. Loki gained Sigyn's with his parental love towards Sleipnir. They bonded over Sleipnir, and I thought that was beautiful. But in the end, it went to shit...

I know this will turn a lot of people away from this book, which is why I mention it here. I admit I would not mind as much it if I wasn't annoyed by the overall Jokerification of Loki commonly seen in media depictions. I was expecting Loki to be a very shitty husband like Thor was depicted here, but not to the extent of marital rape and physically abusive to Sigyn, Vali, and Narfi. After his downfall being caused by the loss of some of his children and establishing Loki as very parental and protective of his children earlier in the narrative, the way he treated his less unusual children due to a "spiral into madness" makes for a loss of payoff. And the one thing that really annoyed me is that they implied he raped underage Roskva because "he went mad". This is not in the myths. And IDK, the Jokerification thing bugs me. The Roskva thing felt like it was just for shock value rather than to establish more plot points (which is why I am a bit more forgiving of the "Loki is an abusive husband/father" thing in here since it has relevance to Vali's characterization).

Keep in mind the book is mostly from the POV of characters on the Aesir's side. They do reference Odin's myth-accurate rape of Rindr, but it's focused less than with Loki's retelling-only ones. There's not as much focus on the Aesir's actions of similar weight to Loki's cruel misdeeds. It's just mentioned Thor kills Jotnar women very casually, and a Jotnar in cahoots with Loki refers to putting an end to the constant "raping of Jotnar women" by the Aesir.

#LokiBookClub #Black Wolf: The Binding of Loki #Una Verdandi #tw: rape mention #tw: domestic violence mention #tw: abuse mention #tw: child abuse mention #tw: micarriage mention #tw: csa mention #book review #norse mythology #myth!loki #myth!sigyn #logyn #myth!odin #myth!thor #myth!sif #myth!frigg #myth!balder #myth!vali #myth!narvi #i can't believe i actually finished reading this! #proud of myself lol #LokiInMedia

[ravensroleplays]

“Y’know, I kind of get where my dad’s coming from. Maybe I should forgive him for all the years of abuse.”

#my fnaf au #mike musings #*points to the calendar again. HARD.* #tw: child abuse mention

[hannah-the-small]

"Gritt! You're normal again!"

"Again? What do you mean? My horns ache...."

"Well... its sorta weird."

"You were fourteen again."

"... Oh."

"... Gritt, we need to talk."

"About?"

"You never told me it was-"

"Okay, we don't need to talk about that."

"Gritt, don't close up. Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because it was none of your business."

"None of my business?! Gritt you were black and blue, your horns were pratically infected, you were half starved- It was WORSE than what you told me!"

"They left you in that state, and you only told me about your horns because I know you're not stupid enough to let a drug dealer bust them, so you had to come clean about that. Do you think it was your fault or something?"

"It doesn't matter!"

"It does matter Gritt! Because you matter! To me, to our friends-"

"JUST SHUT UP!! I only started to MATTER to them when I made the deal with VOX!! Then suddenly they want to be buddy fucking buddy and give a shit about 'poor little Gritt, boo hoo so sad he's such a great guy' when then couldn't of cared less if I had of overdosed in the fucking gutter like I fucking WANTED TO IF VOX HADN'T OF SPONSORED ME! And I deserved them hating me then!! I don't need people's pity- So just- SHUT IT!!"

"Gritt-"

#tw: suicide mention #GritttheImp #hazbin!verse #PatchtheImp #tw: child abuse mention

[weirdgirl92]

Hey, WG!

Was just wondering what Luci did exactly to make his dad angry in chapter 4 of the Littlest Devil?

For being weak, I suppose. To be honest, I wasn’t planning on going that deep during that little flashback, because writing “child abuse” scenes like that isn’t very easy for me.

#tw: child abuse mention #the tale of the littlest devil #ask

[starborn-souls]

😬 A headcanon about the worst thing they’ve done for Draven

It's.... Pretty bad truthfully.

Hard dates are TBD due to the reworking of Narovas history and by extension the 'main characters' here.

But for a time, off and on he served as Narovas 'royal scientist'. The focus of his studies was dependent on the ruling monarch, but he always had his own projects going on in the background as well, and the biggest one had to have been his studies centered immortality. Why it occurred, how it came to be, if it was possible to artificially replicate it; that sort of thing.

And well. When he had lost himself with these projects, oftentimes the ends justified the means in his point of view. Which resulted in quite frankly a disturbing amount of unethical experiments; medical malpractice and just downright terrible things done to test subjects; many of which were flat out children. And not many of the test subjects survived when things were said and done.

It's the sort of thing that still keeps him up nowadays, when it's all behind him now. He doubts he'll ever get rid of the guilt.

#Draven Svoboda // the royal scientist #Draven Svoboda // southern scholar #truths brought to light // headcanons and lore #answered asks #tw: medical malpractice mention #tw: child abuse mention

[in-love-with-writing-whump]

TW: GORE, TRAUMA, DEATH, EMETOPHOBIA MAJOR THE OWL HOUSE SPOILERS

I recently found out about the *alternate scene* for The Owl House episode King's Tide, and all I could think of was: Damn, that's amazing whump. Like: your abuser dies suddenly and horribly in front of you, drenching you in gore as if in a final way of messing with you? That's messed up. I don't write fanfiction (I prefer working with OCs), but here's a drabble based off possible aftermath of *that* scene.

Whumpee could barely see through the pine-colored muck. They lay there, breathing shallow, as they stared at the splatter of what was once Whumper.

They tasted bits of bone in their teeth from when they watched, gaping in horror. A, B, Caretaker, and D, they had all darted away, but Whumpee had been able to move, frozen in fear of both their tormentor and the only family they ever had.

Whumpee sat upright, the sludge of skin and scattered flesh rolling off of them, its monstrous color staining their clothes and skin in that evergreen shade. Blood soaked into their hair as their gloved hands covered their mouth. They screamed into their hands, eyes bulging out of their sockets.

A and B held hands, their expressions a mixture of relief, fear, and sympathy. D looked on with anxious terror, grimacing in disgust at the gore. Caretaker stepped forward, their expression a hundred different things at once.

"...Whumpee?"

Whumpee's stomach lodged itself in their throat. Tears streamed down their face, paving rivers through the fleshy mess. They moved their hands just to puke all over the ground.

Whumper couldn't be dead. No one with that much power over them could die, it wasn't possible-

Caretaker took a step closer. "Whumpee?"

"I-" Whumpee choked out a sob, their head in their hands as the gore set into every pore of their skin, every fiber of their clothes, each strand of hair.

Caretaker crouched down next to Whumpee, rubbing small circles on their back. "It's okay. Let it all out."

Whumpee let out another shaky sob, the weight of it all setting in.

#parental whump #parent whumper #tw: child abuse mention #tw: gore #tw: shock #tw: blood #whumpee #whump prompt #caretaker #tw: team whump #tw: death mention #tw: death #tw: bone #tw: trauma #monster whumper #inhuman whumper #tw: emetophobia #tw: vomit #caretaker x whumpee

[thiscrimsonsoul]

{i am the caretaker of souls} Bit of a random rant below the read more about the headcanon question... what if Wanda developed psychosomatic colorblindness following DSMoM and could no longer see red?

So the 1994 movie Color of Night was on the other night and I hadn’t seen it in a very long time. I’ve always liked that movie, even though I know a lot of people have little good to say about it because of its sexual explicitness, uncomfortable discussions about childhood abuse, assault, and trauma, and its questionable portrayal of DID, but if you can look past the triggering content and exploitative feel at times, the plot was always one that interested me. I genuinely enjoyed it, although the ending is... emotionally rough. Jane March is an actress I feel has been so drastically underrated over the years too, because she’s great at expressing an array of harrowing emotions as well as vulnerability that somehow doesn’t come across as damsel-in-distress-ish. The combination of vulnerability and agency in her character in this movie is refreshing. If you like murder mysteries with a sexually-charged noir type feel in its unfolding, then check it out. But be warned of the potentially-triggering material I mentioned above.

The plot. Basically, a psychiatrist takes over running group therapy sessions from a colleague who was murdered, and in addition to trying to continue the patients’ therapy, he also tries to figure out who killed his friend. Around the same time he starts getting threatened himself by an unknown stalker, he meets and falls in love with an enigmatic woman who seems to not want him to know too much about herself. Plots and people and pasts become intertwined after that, and I don’t want to say any more because there’s a pretty significant twist at the end.

My point in mentioning it here is something that the psychiatrist experienced during the movie... psychosomatic colorblindness. He had suffered a previous trauma that had caused him to no longer be able to see the color red. Instead, everything that was supposed to be red was now a muted gray. Blood, for example, looked like gray paint to him. I haven’t seen the movie since I started watching MCU movies in 2018, so this time when watching it I thought to myself... what if Wanda suffered something similar post-DSMoM?

Imagine if the trauma of everything after the temple on Wundagore collapsed, everything she’d done, everyone she’d lost, and just the horrid truth of knowing she’d failed her boys and everyone else who believed in her... had caused Wanda to stop seeing the color red? As part of her brain’s response to all that trauma building up and then exploding, she wakes up after Wundagore (because we all know she’s not dead, come on, haha) and her outfit looks gray. She uses her powers... and her magic looks gray. It looks like smoke to her. Imagine how disconcerting and alarming that would be for her, because it’s been a part of her for so many years, and to see its color change to a dull gray, along with everything else that’s supposed to be red, would be alarming but also I’m guessing kindof depressing. 

I know this is such a random thing to latch onto, but because the color that was muted in the movie was red, it just automatically made me think of Wanda, because so much about her and that she does is associated with red. And just imagine... the Scarlet Witch... being unable to see the color red... *shrugs* I don’t know, it was just an idea that hit me and I kindof want to add it in, only because I think it would help punctuate this new stage of trauma she’s going through now, like... it would be an indicator of just how much the events of DSMoM affected her, that she would develop this psychosomatic ailment. It would also be poetically poignant and fitting, if Wanda wakes up disgusted with herself and her powers, depressed by the monster her boys in 838 looked at her as, if she then couldn’t see red. It’d almost be as if she is mentally, in a subconscious manner, rejecting her own magic and title by wiping the color red from her vision.

And the solution to it would be so nebulous because psychosomatic ailments can clear up in a few days, months, years... or never. And what “heals” them is different for everyone, because the damage is in the brain, in the mind, not in the body. There would be nothing wrong with Wanda’s eyes or vision, but rather it would be how her brain is interpreting signals from her eyes that would be affected. It’s a psychological ailment, not a physical one, and those can be very difficult to alleviate. So there would be no telling when, or if, Wanda would regain her ability to see red.

*shrugs again* No point to this rant other than that it’s something I found interesting that made me think of Wanda and what the implications of it would be for her. If anybody wants to do a thread on this or wants me to add this condition to an existing thread for Wanda, let me know. It would be something interesting to explore as far as how she reacts to it and how it affect her and her magic going forward.

#{ out of paprikash } ᵒᵒᶜ #inspirational material #headcanons #tw: child abuse mention

[schrijverr]

I Found Myself a Cheerleader 17

Chapter 17 out of 28

Bumped to the lowest step on the social ladder after his fight with Billy, Steve gets roped in with the cheer team. What starts as a favor to help them out when one member breaks her leg in turn for protection from the brunt of the bullying, sets the universe on a different path.

In this chapter, a second body is found and Nancy also joins their little crew as they try to prove Eddie’s innocence. Later, they also run into Lucas. More and more of what is going on unraveling in front of them as Max is also marked as a target.

On AO3.

Ships: steddie & buckingham

Warnings: general season 4 shenanigans, child abuse mention, homophobia mention, period typical homophobia

~~~~~~~

Chapter 17: The Second Death

Chrissy is naturally terrified. None of them understand what is happening yet, but Chrissy is definitely a target and she is also new to all of this. She has taken to sticking to Robin’s side and once this is over Steve will mercilessly tease Robin about her continuous redness, though he has to admit, she hasn’t been rambling too much.

Max has also taken a shine to Chrissy, sticking close to her side in that quiet way that has snuck up on her while she was pulling away. Steve is glad to see Max again, he has been worried for her. She is probably still dealing with Billy and now with the Upside Down being back, which isn’t good, but she is at least in his line of sight. Safe.

It’s getting too late to still drive up to Weathertop especially with a teen just dead that has all parents on edge.

So, Steve drops off Dustin and Max at the Henderson house, telling them he’s going to come pick them up tomorrow. The trailer park is still a crime scene and Steve will be more at ease, knowing Max isn’t alone.

When it’s just the older teens in the car, he says: “Robs, do you think your parents will let you stay at Chrissy’s house tonight?”

“What?” Robin asks, looking back at Steve from where she’d been watching Chrissy in the backseat through the rear view mirror.

“I mean, Chrissy’s mom probably won’t let her stay at someone else’s house, but she shouldn’t be alone tonight and I am definitely not getting in,” Steve explains, knowing that Robin just wasn’t paying attention, but not calling her out on it.

Chrissy pipes up: “I’d love for you to stay over, tonight.”

Robin catches up and flushes slightly, before thinking: “Well, I can always ask if we swing by. I can be very convincing.”

“Sure,” Steve grins with a tone that earns him a pout from Robin that he ignored. “And otherwise I’ll just kidnap you, Chris. I’m sure you’ll look lovely on a milk carton.”

“Shut up, Stevie,” Chrissy giggles.

“Yeah, not funny, dingus,” Robin laughs.

Robin manages to convince her parents that she should stay at Chrissy’s house, before the two call Mrs. Cunningham and lie that otherwise Robin – sorry, Stevie – would be home alone tonight with a killer on the loose. When Mrs. Cunningham says okay, they drive to Family Video where the two get picked up, pretending Chrissy has been at work with Robin all day.

With the two safely on their way to the Cunningham house, Steve drives alone to the cabin. He feels both like he is going to burst out of his skin and collapse onto his bed and sleep for years.

When he gets home, his hand hovers over the phone and he considers calling the Sinclairs to ask about Lucas, but he doesn’t. It’s late and he doesn’t want to worry his parents and if Lucas manages to stay safe and away from all this, Steve doesn’t want to drag him back. There are already enough people in danger right now.

So, he doesn’t pick up the phone and instead paces around the house. He is exhausted, but his bed seems unappealing.

At multiple points he considers getting into his car and driving to Lover’s Lake to see if Eddie is alright. One time he is already opening the door when he stops himself. Eddie has only just offered a tentative peace, no need to force more. He’s going through a horrible thing right now, the last thing he wants is for Steve to force his company on him.

He should sleep instead. It’s the best move to rest up now that he can. None of them know what the coming days will bring. This might be the last time, he gets a good night’s rest. Not that it is likely with how he tosses and turns all throughout the night.

On the morning of the 23rd he is at the Henderson house at the crack of dawn to drive the two to Weathertop. At the Cerebro, Dustin immediately disappears into setting it all up properly so that he can listen in on the police. Max looks a little less excited to be up.

“You doing okay, Mayfield?” Steve asks, worried.

“Yeah. Fine,” Max answers curtly. “Just early.”

“Well, try to get some rest while you keep an eye on that guy, okay?” Steve smiles at her, nodding to Dustin, who is ignoring both of them.

Max smiles back and nods. “Sure, I’ll keep him safe.”

“I resent that,” Dustin finally speaks up, before turning a dial with an aha-exclamation, which makes both of them laugh.

After that, Steve drives to the grocery store that has only just opened its door, getting all Eddie’s favorites so he’ll have at least something. Then he goes to get Chrissy and Robin, who are waiting at the end of the road.

Robin scrambles into the passenger seat as she loudly says: “Thank god, I was going to smash something, I swear to god. I don’t know how you do it, Chris.”

“You get used to it,” Chrissy replies with a smile and a sad undertone.

“Oh, sorry,” Robin says, feeling awkward.

“It’s okay,” Chrissy tells her with a kind smile.

“Lets go pick up the kids and see Eddie,” Steve says to get the attention away from the fumble for which both are grateful.

However, that gratitude doesn’t last for long. With just them in the car, Robin asks: “Are you okay, you know, seeing Eddie again?”

“I’m fine,” Steve grits.

“Dingus,” Robin frowns. He hates it when she frowns.

“We’re just worried,” Chrissy backs Robin up, leaning between them from the back.

“No need,” Steve says. “I’m fine. Eddie seems to not hate me, so that’s good. He’s shaken right now. It’s not the time to talk about it.”

“Are you sure?” Robin questions, looking unsure. “I know it was like a whole thing and you feel guilty about it, but if he is only a little bit of a dick, I’m punching him. He can be an asshole too, you know.”

“Will you ever let the not saying thing go?” Steve groans.

“No, it was fucked up and you know it,” Robin pouts.

“It was my idea, Robs,” Steve says, glad he can throw the car in park to yell at Dustin and Max to come down, which they do, bearing the bad news that Eddie is indeed a wanted man.

Steve can already imagine how Eddie’s eyes will look when he hears the news and he is not looking forward to that, even if he is anxious to see Eddie alive and well. After the whole night of horror visions, he just needs to see Eddie breathe.

Eddie indeed doesn’t look so hot when they come in and takes the food gratefully, quickly stuffing his mouth so he’ll have something to do. Steve knows it is a little gross, but he can’t help but think it’s cute how Eddie munches on the cereal.

“So,” Dustin decides to break it to him, Steve is glad it’s not his task. “We got, uhm, some good news and some bad news. How do you prefer it?”

“Bad news first, always,” Eddie says, radiating nervous energy.

“All right. Bad news, we tapped into the Hawkins PD dispatch with our Cerebro and they’re definitely looking for you,” Dustin tells him. “Also, they’re- they’re pretty convinced you killed Patrick. Like a 100% kind of convinced.”

“And the good news?” Eddie asks with a desperate voice that has Steve’s heart breaking as he looks away, unable to meet those wide brown eyes.

Robin has the answer to that: “Your name hasn’t gone public yet.” Then she immediately ruins that with her motormouth. “But if we found out about you, it's a matter of time before others do and once that gets out, everyone and their shallow-minded mother is gonna be gunning for you.”

Eddie is quiet for a second as he thinks over her words. A thousand emotions flash over across his eyes, before he looks at Robin, then Steve and bitterly says: “Hunt the freak, right?”

And Steve knows exactly what Eddie means when he says that. The meaning behind the words that only he and Robin will pick up.

The Freak.

It’s a conversation they’ve had in the quiet nights, a conversation they’ve had without words, but with actions. The big difference between them. How Steve could hide his queerness, how he could go back and play King Steve and hold up the smoke and mirrors, while Eddie has always been too outspoken, too expressive, too queer. Too much of a target.

All of those emotions swirl inside Steve. The anger at everyone that judged, the hurt that he has also felt when being targeted, the indigence for this boy who was never given leeway, the guilt for turning away from Eddie, for succumbing and hiding when Eddie could not.

“Exactly,” he says, knowing all those emotions can’t be put into words. Not by Steve. Not right now.

“Shit,” Eddie replies and it sounds like he understands.

“So, before that happens, we find Vecna, kill him and prove your innocence,” Dustin jumps in to cheer up Eddie, missing the extra layers that are added for him. For them.

“That’s all, Dustin? That’s all?” Eddie snaps with the voice of someone who hasn’t been dragged into this insanity by Dustin and his never ending optimism before.

“Yeah, no that is pretty much it,” Dustin tells him, oblivious to that.

“Listen, Eddie,” Robin starts what is clearly another disastrous attempt at cheering Eddie up that Steve knows he should stop, but he doesn’t know what to say to make it better either. “I know everything Dustin is saying sounds totally delusional, but we’ve actually been through this before. I mean, they have a- a few times and- and I have once.”

Chrissy next to her nods vigorously: “She told me about it. They fought other stuff before.”

“Yeah, I mean, mine was more human-flesh based and theirs was more smoke-related,” Robin says, only knowing the bit Steve told her, while Eddie is slowly loosing more and more faith. “But bottom line is, collectively, I really feel like we got this.”

While, Robin’s speech is not inspiring, Steve thinks that she is on the right track, so he adds: “We usually rely on this girl who has superpowers,” before realizing that he might have made a mistake as he trails off. “But, uh, those went bye-bye, so…”

“So, we’re technically in more of the-” Robin jumps in to help, however, one drawback to sharing a brain is that both draw a blank.

“Kinda…” Steve tries.

“Brainstorming phase,” Max saves them.

“Brainstorming,” Steve repeats, sounding unsure, but trying to come across like he knows what he’s talking about.

“There- There’s nothing to worry about,” Dustin adds, but the slight hesitation after all his naive optimism, only makes it worse. Eddie’s scoff speaks to that.

However, before the hopelessness of their situation can be revealed further, they’re snapped to attention by police sirens. Eddie curses and all of them panic, but Chrissy jumps into action and yells: “Tarp, the tarp,” as she ushers Eddie under it.

As Eddie hides, Dustin and Max fly to the window, followed by Steve, who is already thinking of excuses for the police if they do come knocking, though he comes up blank. Luckily, the police flies by the little house, urgently on their way to elsewhere.

They all let out a sigh of relief, before Chrissy wonders out loud: “Where do you think they’re going?”

“Maybe there’s another body,” Dustin proposes, his analytical mind working quicker than his social people mind, not realizing what he’s just said.

But the others do and all look at each other with wide eyes of horror. Max says: “We have to go check it out.”

“Yeah, here, Eddie,” Dustin hands Eddie a radio, so he can contact them, before marching out to the car. There is a sudden urgency about them and Steve only waves at Eddie, who is still sitting in the boat, before he’s rushing after them.

The police aren’t difficult to find, since the road is blocked where it curves closely to a beach. There are all sorts of people there, firefighters, an ambulance and Nancy- wait Nancy?

They all get out of the car and look at the scene in front of them, trying to comprehend what has just happened here. Steve catches Nancy’s eyes from where she is talking to Chief Powell and she seemingly almost bursts into tears when she sees them.

Steve watches her for a few moments, as she says something in the way he knows she is repeating something she said before. Then she gestures at Steve and the others, before pleading to Powell and only then is she let go, making her way to them.

When she gets there, she says relieved: “Thank god, you never guess what happened. Fred just got killed. It’s horrible, I think something is going on again.”

Then her eye falls on Chrissy and she frowns, obviously confused why they would take her along in their ragtag group. Luckily, Dustin, oblivious as he may be from time to time, says: “Good, we’ve been following it already. Lets talk about this somewhere else for a bit.”

With Nancy in the car too, it is more of a tight fit, but Steve makes Chrissy sit on Robin’s lap, which causes her to flush and glare at him, but Chrissy seems perfectly happy to be there, albeit a little embarrassed.

Nancy directs them to the trailer park where she left her car. At one of the picnic tables they compare notes, Nancy horrified by their discoveries and the return of the Upside Down and the others saddened by Fred’s death. Another victim, even if they didn’t know him well. Or Patrick for that matter.

However, despite her grief, Nancy realizes that the victims don’t make sense and Max and Chrissy have both seen the others at Ms. Kelley’s office – both also look equally uncomfortable to mention that they have been seeing Ms. Kelley, however Dustin immediate distracts by saying that’s where they have to investigate.

As they get up, Nancy doesn’t follow. Immediately Steve’s eyes are filled with hearing about her death, having to tell Mike when he returns from his trip to California. Before he knows it, he is exclaiming: “Whoa, whoa, Nance. Nance! Where are you going?”

“Oh,” Nancy says, playing innocent with her big eyes. “There is just something I wanna check on first.”

“Something you wanna share with us?” Steve immediately questions.

“I don’t want to waste your time. It’s a real shot in the dark,” Nancy tells him apologetically if Nancy’s ‘checking on something’ isn’t always incredibly dangerous and a little illegal.

“Yeah, okay,” Steve scoffs. “Are you out of your mind, flying solo wit Vecna on the loose? No, it’s too dangerous. You need- You need someone to-”

Steve doesn’t know what he’s offering exactly, he wants to make sure Nancy is safe, but he also wants to keep the other safe. He guesses Nancy’s excursion will be more dangerous, so he turns to the others and throws the car keys to Robin – the person he trusts most with his kids and Chrissy’s safety – and says: “Here, I’ll stick with Nancy. Take the car, check out the shrink.”

“I don’t think you want me driving your car,” Robin says and Steve can’t imagine why he wouldn’t want Robin in charge of these kind, loving, reckless, genius dumbasses.

“Why?”

“I don’t have a license,” Robin answers with an awkward look.

For a second, Steve is absolutely gobsmacked. They’ve been friends forever already and he never knew that. He thought she was just lazy and stubborn in making him drive, since it is his car they always take and he is a little protective about it. However, he would have taught her if she had told him, so he asks: “Why?”

“I’m poor,” Robin shoots back.

Next to her, Max lights up, jumping on it: “I can drive.”

“No, never again, please,” Steve shrieks, having flashbacks to her driving while he was heavily concussed. “Anybody but you. No.”

Dustin points to himself as he pulls a face and an even more horrible movie plays across Steve’s eyes as he imagines Dustin driving. He shudders and says: “No chance.”

“Oh come on.” Dustin pleads.

“No,” Steve says, instead looking to Chrissy, who might be the only one there that can actually drive safely and normally.

She grimaces apologetically and says: “My mom thinks driving isn’t lady like.”

Steve feels himself deflate at that, unsure of what to do now. Robin, fortunately steps in. “Alright, okay, this is stupid. Us ladies will stick together. Me and Chris will go, safety in numbers,” she says, taking a radio so she can contact Steve. Then she pulls a shit eating grin at him and says: “Unless you think we need you to protect us.”

He glares at her, knowing that they both know he doesn’t think that. Chrissy and her friends protected him for half his senior year and Robin was just as badass as him in that Russian bunker, so he just says: “Be careful,” and hopes they will. He can’t loose Robin or Chrissy. He can't.It’ll break him.

Robin looks back and gives him a small nod, to show she knows. Chrissy looks between them, perhaps for the first time fully grasping their closeness, before promising: “We will,” then they both disappear with Nancy.

Steve watches them go and feels a heaviness in his chest that always comes when they’re sucked back into this nonsense again. A dark part of him, can’t help but wonder if he’ll ever see the girls again, if Eddie will make it out of this, if any of them will.

He is snapped out of it by Dustin who smirks: “Just going to stand there and gawk?”

“Shut up,” Steve tells him, knowing what Dustin is going to imply and he is not here for it. He knows he has spend moths building up his straightness in front of Dustin, but he is so not in the mood to defend himself right now, so he won’t be shoved with any of the girls. It can get exhaustive.

The three of them drive to Ms. Kelley’s house and Steve can feel Dustin brimming with something that he ignores in favor of watching Max, saying: “She’s in.”

“I’m missing collarbones not eyes,” Dustin says and Steve suppresses an eye roll as he keeps an eye on where Max disappeared instead.

It’s quiet for a second, before Dustin breaks it. “So, we going to talk about it?”

“Huh, sorry, talk about what?” Steve plays dumb, something he’s good at.

“Your temporary insanity earlier today when you basically threw yourself at Nance?” Dustin points out, showing how he can be so smart and so dense too.

“That’s no what happened,” Steve tells him, hoping the squirt will drop it.

“Pretty sure that’s what happened,” Dustin counters, in that annoying condescending tone. “It was public. There were a lot of witnesses.”

“You implying I still have a thing for Nance?” Steve asks with pure disbelief, not sure how this is where his day is going.

“No,” Dustin says and Steve has a moment of relief, before he continues his sentence, “I’m not implying. I’m stating. And, as it relates to your steadfast refusal to date Robin or Chrissy, it is pretty much the only logical explanation.”

“That’s not the only one,” Steve mutters darkly, not wanting to out himself, but wanting Dustin to not jump to conclusions either. “And as for Nance,” he adds, because it is important. “I was just trying to protect a friend. A friend, Henderson.”

“Okay,” Dustin smirks, like he thinks Steve’s lying, which is flustering him and making him frustrated. It’s like he’s being interrogated by his peers again. Holy shit.

“I don want to find her with her eyes sucked out of her skull by this Vecna creep,” he exclaims, not understanding why Dustin doesn’t get it. Is this another straight boy thing?

“You’re bright red in the face right now,” Dustin points out with a chuckle.

It’s that fucking chuckle that makes Steve’s heckles raise. It reminds him of all the chuckles of less friendly people that followed him for months, how hard it was to shake their whispers, how they are still going on according to Lucas. It’s not meant like that, but it feels like scrutiny and Steve feels cornered.

And because Steve is still learning, he goes back to what he knows, he relapses and snaps: “I’m not and I don’t wanna talk about it. I’ll punch you so hard, you teeth will fall back out.”

One look at Dustin is enough to tell him how wrong that is and guilt floods through him as he immediately backtracks: “Whoa, too far. Not cool. Sorry.”

Luckily, Dustin is as kind as he is probing, so he just nods: “Not cool. It’s okay.”

After which the two sit in the silence of the car as they wait for Max to come back out and relieve them of their awkward silence.

They are saved when Max comes out of the house, seemingly rushing. Steve spots her first and starts the car as he says: “Here she comes. Here she comes.”

“What’d she say?” Dustin asks immediately.

“Nothing, just drive,” Max says and her tone makes Steve stop, but she’s not having it, forcefully repeating: “Steve, drive.”

“Okay, okay,” Steve says as he drives off.

As they drive, Max only tells them to go to the school. That they have to look at more files and with the state she’s in, Steve doesn’t ask too many questions and does as he’s told.

The tense silence that hangs in the car is broken by the radio going off. Steve’s first instinct is fear that something has happened to the girls, but then Lucas’s voice says: “Dustin. It’s Lucas. Do you copy? Dustin?”

However, it doesn’t take long for the fear to set in again. Steve thought he could keep Lucas out of it this time, to keep him safe, but apparently not. Apparently whatever is haunting Hawkins always manages to drag all of them back in.

Dustin pick up the radio and replies: “Lucas? Where the hell have you been?”

“Just listen,” Lucas says. “Are you looking for Eddie?” and Steve’s heart sinks more. Lucas is already in too deep again to turn him away.

“We found him, no thanks to you,” Dustin frowns, in that undeserved indignant way only he can pull of.

“You found him?” Lucas asks and Steve can’t tell if he’s glad or horrified.

“He’s at a boathouse on Coal Mill Road,” Dustin says. “Don’t worry. He’s safe.”

“You guys know he killed Patrick, right?” Lucas asks in a hurt voice.

Steve remembers how Lucas found a friend in Patrick, how scared he must be right now. Fuck, he should have called to check in on him the moment he heard the news. Feeling a little guilty that he’s glad that he isn’t the one that has to face Lucas as Dustin replies: “That’s bullshit, Eddie tried to save Patrick.”

“Then why do all the cops say he did it?” Lucas says.

Max leans over the back of the seat and takes the radio. In her usually blunt manner, she rolls her eyes and says: “Lucas, you are so behind, it’s ridiculous, okay? Just meet us at school. We’ll explain later.”

“I- I can’t,” Lucas says and Steve feels his heart sink, something that is not helped with Lucas goes on. “I think some real bad shit’s about to go down.”

“What are you talking about? What bad shit?” Max asks the question that Steve has been wanting to ask too, worry tinting her voice. This worry does not fade when they get static over the radio instead of an answer. Max pushes the button again and asks: “Lucas? Lucas?”

All three of them exchange glances and Steve speaks up first: “We should go look for Lucas. He could be in trouble.”

Max nods, but Dustin shakes his head: “We’ll never find him. He knows where we’re headed, if he doesn’t meet up with us there, we can go look for him and one of us can stay behind in case he shows up. It’s no use if we’re looking for him in one place, while he’s coming to meet us.”

Steve hates that Dustin is right, so he just drives to the school. The closed school. That they are breaking into, because Max said it was important. Since this is Steve’s life again. God, does he not miss the Upside Down when it is gone.

It’s already getting dark and Steve doesn’t know how he’ll explain this to their parents when they finally come home. However, the darkness does cloak their actions from prying eyes as they make it into the school and to Ms. Kelley’s office, where Max starts rustling through the files.

While they’re searching through the office, the girls contact them and Steve has never been more happy to hear Robin’s rambling, even if her voice is tinny through the radio. And he’s so glad, they’re coming too. All of them together is much safer, and he thinks of Eddie, all alone in that boathouse. His heart aches.

However, before he can be glad the three are okay – that’s at least three out of four okay, Lucas is still out there, his brain reminds him – he is distracted by Dustin, who has an anxious voice as he shakes Max and pleads: “Max, come on.”

She doesn’t respond, eyes far away and Eddie’s words flash through his mind as Steve joins Dustin and asks: “Max?”

Max just stands there.

Unresponsive.

Steve feels ice flood his veins. Not Max. Not like this. Not after all she survived. He can’t loose one of his kids. He can’t watch that.

Then Max takes a deep breath of air, coming back to them, relief evident in the room. But Max isn’t saying anything, just walking out of the room as Steve and Dustin follow her immediately as she makes her way through the hallways.

She comes to a stop in front of a normal wall, frowning. Right at that moment Chrissy, Nancy and Robin come in. The three of them looking curiously at the group in front of the wall, trying to see if there is anything about it.

Nancy looks a little bit on edge, side-eying Robin. Steve is just glad to see the three of them alive and well, especially Chrissy, looking completely unharmed.

He’s been worrying about her in the back of her head. Though all other worries have been playing in front of it, it was there the whole time and with what just happened to Max, his worry has been tenfold. But she looks okay, smiling at Robin and him.

“What’s going on?” Nancy asks, always the reporter.

Max tells them a story that has all their blood running cold. Tells them about a vision, a clock in the hallway that wasn’t there, but felt so real.

“That’s not even the bad part,” she says, turning back to them, looking like the small, scared child she is. And Steve can’t fix it. “Patrick and Fred, they both came to Ms. Kelley for help. Uh, they both were having headaches. Bad headaches. That wouldn’t go away. And then- then the nightmares. Trouble sleeping. They’d wake up in a cold sweat. Then they started seeing things. From their past. Bad things.”

Steve knows exactly what Max must have been seeing and his heart breaks for this young girl, who has already seen too much. He can’t help but notice, however, that Chrissy has been slowly becoming paler as Max talks.

“These visions, they just- they kept on getting worse and worse, until eventually,” she trails of for a second, then finishes, “everything ended.”

“Patrick’s headache started a week ago, Fred’s six days ago,” Max tells them. “I’ve been having them for five days. I don’t know how long I have. All I know is that for Fred and Patrick, they both died less than 24 hours after their first vision and I just saw that goddamn clock, so…” she lets out an uneven breath, looking terrified. She gives them a wobbly smile that will likely haunt Steve’s dreams for years to come as she says: “Looks like I’m gonna die tomorrow.”

“No, we can-” Steve starts, but he actually doesn’t know what to do. Max has been branded by death. She is going to die. And they have no clue how to stop it. Nothing. A weight crushes his chest, helplessness at this new enemy, who he can’t stand in front of, whose attacks he can’t take instead of these kids. These fucking kids that means so much to him.

“Chrissy,” Robin’s uncharacteristically sharp voice cuts through his panic as they all look at Robin, then at Chrissy, who has been trying to fade to the background. “How long have you been getting headaches?”

“Uhm, four days,” Chrissy says softly. And Steve’s panic only increases. It’s not just Max, his baby sister Max, who is in danger, but also Chrissy. Chrissy his best friend next to Robin. Chrissy with whom he does cheer, who gets that exercise helps him get out of his head.

The other person he cares about that he can’t protect from Vecna.

Before they can process it all, they are interrupted by a clang somewhere in the building. They are not alone anymore. This Steve can do something about, so he grabs the lamp, missing his nail bat, as he tells the others: “Stay here.”

None of them listen of course, but they at least stay behind him. All of them creeping through the hallway, until someone enters their line of visions. Everyone is yelling and Steve is about to swing when he recognizes the voice saying: “It’s me!”

“Lucas?” Nancy exclaims behind him.

“It’s me,” Lucas confirms.

“Jesus, what’s wrong with you, Sinclair?” Steve yells, trying to slow his rabbiting heartbeat.

“I’m sorry.”

“I could have taken you out with this lamp!” He shakes the lamp for emphasis, so Lucas realizes how stupid that was.

Lucas waves him away, still panting as he says: “Sorry, guys, sorry. I was- I was biking for eight miles. Gimme a second. Shit. We’ve got a code red.”

Steve can appreciate the dedication to that, eight miles is nothing to sniff at, but he doesn’t get why Lucas can have a code red, while they’re already in the middle of a pretty big code red. He is obviously fine, so nothing happened to him since their last talk on the radio. Confused he asks: “What?

“Dustin,” Lucas says, walking up to the boy in question. “I’ve been with Jason, Andy and Chance, and they’ve gone totally off the rails. They’re trying to capture Eddie. And they think you know where he is. You’re in terrible danger.”

Holy fuck. No. Just no. Steve can’t deal with someone else being in danger right now. It’s too much for one day.

Chrissy and Max are cursed and on the cusp of death. And not only is someone hunting Eddie, who is already wanted by the police, but those people are also targeting Dustin to do it. Just no, Steve, will die at 19 of a stress induced heart attack.

“Alright,” Dustin nods, sounding a little underwhelmed about the implications. “Yeah, that definitely sucks, but we’ve got bigger problems than Jason right now.”

Lucas looks confused at those words, eyes flitting between the others, before landing on Max, who doesn’t look him in the eyes. And Steve will never forget how Lucas’ face falls as he gets filled on what has been happening with them.

“What are we going to do now?” he asks, voice scared and terribly small.

And Steve isn’t trying to answer that again, even though Chrissy is looking at him with those scared eyes. She hasn’t been with them for long enough to know that Steve isn’t the plan guy, that Steve is only there to hit what needs to be hit.

When he doesn’t meet her eyes, she looks at Robin, who gives her a smile that says she doesn’t feel like smiling, but has no clue what else to do with her face.

Nancy, fortunately, takes the lead. She says: “We can’t do anything right now, but we three found a lead in Victor Creel. If we can talk to him, we can figure out why he was targeted by Vecna with his family and how he survived.”

“Vecna has killed before?” Dustin asks.

“Yes, in the fifties,” Nancy answers.

“We made copies of the information that you guys can read,” Robin tells them. “The library lady thought we were insane, but that is kind of usual for me. I mean, my library history is wild, so this won’t be too out of place and- and I’ll shut up now.”

“Thanks,” says Nancy in that tight lipped way that Steve doesn’t like. “I suggest we all go home, sleep and reconvene at my house in the mornings. It’ll be best for us to stay together, no one goes alone, okay.”

“You can stay at my place,” Robin offers to Chrissy, who looks relieved at takes it with a grateful smile, before the duo turns to Steve, obviously expecting him to join them as well.

Normally, Steve would take it immediately. However, his mind jumps to Eddie, who is being hunted by jocks as well as the police. Fred died of the same causes as Patrick, but at the lake, they’ll most certainly be looking for Eddie there. And Eddie is actually there.

He shakes his head and says: “I’m going to get Eddie and shelter him at the cabin. It’s the last place people will expect and with everyone after him, it’s the safest place for him to be. What about the rest of you guys?”

“If I go home, my mom won’t let me leave,” Dustin says.

“Same,” Lucas adds, displeased.

“I- I’d rather not go home right now,” Max says.

“You three can come with me,” Nancy tells them. “My parents won’t notice at this hour.”

“Then that’s settled,” Steve claps his hands to signal this conversation is over. “Robs, Chris, I’ll drive you two. As for you three, behave and be safe,” he looks all the kids in their eyes. “I’ll see you tomorrow at the Wheeler’s, okay.”

The three all say something along the lines of ‘Yes, Steve’ and ‘Goodbye, Steve’ which is good enough for him. He is anxious to check in with Eddie, but also nervous. If he doesn’t do it right now, he’s sure he’ll back out.

In the car, he asks Chrissy if she’s okay and she gives a crooked smile that breaks his heart as she says: “At least I have two days, am I right?”

“God, I hate this, I hate how it always comes back,” Steve groans.

“Hey, it’ll be okay, dingus,” Robin says, but she doesn’t look like she believes it, but Chrissy besides her nods, still hopeful, so Steve doesn’t counter it.

Instead he tells them both to be safe and Chrissy says: “You too, Stevie. Don’t do anything stupid tonight.”

“I won’t,” he promises.

“You sure, you’re going to be okay with Eddie?” Robin asks. “I still haven’t forgotten some of his dick moves and I’ll come with you, if you want.”

Steve is touched by her concern, but he doesn’t want to put her or Chrissy in danger and he actually wants to talk to Eddie. Alone. Make sure they’re cool if they’re going to be stuck in a life or death situation. So he just nods: “I’ll be fine. It’s the best way to keep everyone safe.”

“Alright, but radio if it goes bad,” Robin says, before the two get out of the car.

He waits until they’re both safely inside, greeted with relief by Daisy and Thomas, before he speeds off to Lover’s Lake to get Eddie.

~~

A/N:

Figuring out the timeline and how to fit all the new shit into this is going to be the thing that breaks me, I swear to god (especially what happens on the 22nd and what on the 23rd). If you notice a mistake, no you don’t <3

Also, yeah, I think what Steve said to Dustin was too harsh, but holy shit does Dustin get on my nerves with his pushing, like I would be so uncomfortable, even if I could be attracted to the person, you know. My mans needs to learn boundaries istg

#rr writing #stranger things #steve harrington #steddie #eddie munson #robin buckley #platonic stobin #stobin #buckingham #chrissy cunningham #nancy wheeler #dustin henderson #max mayfield #lucas sinclair #the party #the party stranger things #cheerleader steve harrington au #st season 4 #tw: child abuse mention #tw: homophobia mention #tw: period typical homophobia

[shesholy]

𝖑𝖆𝖞𝖊𝖗 𝖔𝖓𝖊     .     initial     .

full     name:    jolene     eve     bowie     . nicknames,     aliases:  

jo     .

jojo     .

jb     .    

age:     thirty     . date     of     birth:     september     second     . place     of     birth:     tulsa     ,     oklahoma     . nationality:    american     . ethnicity:    white     (          scottish     ,     english          )     . languages     spoken:     english     ,     italian     (          not     fluent     though          )     .

zodiac     sign:    virgo     . hogwarts     house:    ravenclaw     . myers     -    briggs:    istj     -     t     .

occupation:   actress     (          formerly          )     ,     singer     ,     publicist     (          formerly          )     ,     businesswoman     ,     social     media     influencer     . education:     homeschooled     (         g.     2010        )     ,     univeristy     of     california     ,     los     angeles     (          g.     2014          )      career     claims:     ashley     tisdale     (          acting     &     singing          )     ,     avril     lavinge     (          singing          )     .

(          you     can     find     her     discography     here     .          )

height:    five     foot     eight     . weight:    128     lbs     . tattoos,     piercings:    same     as     faceclaim     .

father:     fulton     bowie     (          fifty     -     eight          )     ,     an     american     pastor     .     relationship     :     nonexistent     now     ,     the     biggest     antagonist     in     her     life      .     to     say     she     hates     him     would     be     an     understand     of     grand     proportions    .   mother:     lydia     bowie     nee     taylor     (          fifty     -     six          )     ,     an     american     stay     at     home     wife     and     event     planner     .    relationship     :    a     toxic     dynamic     ,     most     of     her     life     was     spent     trying     to     make     her     mother     proud     ,     now     she     just     harbors     resentment     toward     her     . sibling:     samuel     bowie     ,     (          thirty     -     two          )     ,     an     american     professor     at     the     university     of     oklahoma       .     relationship     :     once     her     best     friend     now     he’s     the     biggest     let     down     of     her     entire     life     ;     she     still     misses     him     every     damn      day     .      pets:     motley     (          white     siberian     husky     ,     five     years     old         )

gender:    cis     female     . pronouns:     she     /     her     . orientation:    bisexual     . status:   single     . past     relationships:

maverick     ledger     .     (          d.     2012     -     2016          )

𝖑𝖆𝖞𝖊𝖗 𝖙𝖜𝖔     .     background     .

chara     inspo   :     red     reznikov     (     orange     is     the     new     black     )     ,     betty��    cooper     (     riverdale    )     ,     varys   (     game     of     thrones     )     .

jolene  was  born  in  september  of  1992  ,  the  only  daughter  of  fulton  and  lydia  bowie  .  from  the  outside  looking  in  the  bowie  household  was  perfect  ,  the  perfect  picture  of  an  american  family  :  spiritual  couple  who  did  everything  the  right  way  and  there  two  well  behaved  and  happy  children  .  that  wasn’t  the  case  though  .  behind  the  walls  of  the  victorian  home  ,  when  the  masks  fell  off  ,  was  a  family  falling  apart  at  the  hands  of  a  father  boiling  with  a  brutal  anger  and  a  mother  with  harbored  animosity  at  the  world  .  a  dynamic  duo  of  physical  and  emotional  abuse  .  a  young  jolene  was  doomed  from  the  start  ,  in  her  younger  years  ,  a  meek  little  girl  crippled  by  her  home  life  .  her  only  escape  being  her  brother  who  tried  his  best  to  protect  her  but  at  just  two  years  older  his  attempts  could  only  do  so  much  .  

in  an  attempt  to  bring  her  out  of  her  shell  ,  her  mother  signed  her  up  for  a  talent  search  .  jolene  cried  the  entire  drive  to  auditions  :  petrified  of  being  turned  down  ,  not  being  liked  and  worse  of  all  proving  all  the  harsh  words  her  mother  had  always  thrown  her  way  right  .  when  the  talent  managers  loved  her  though  ,  the  look  of  pride  on  her  mother’s  face  was  something  she’d  cling  onto  for  dear  life  in  the  years  to  come  .  adolescence  spent  between  oklahoma  and  los  angles  once  realization  hit  that  she  was  now  apart  of  the  disney  machine  .  los  angeles  became  a  safe  haven  for  her  (  for  some  time  atleast  )  ,  something  she  was  sure  most  people  would  never  quite  understand  .  finding  herself  and  her  voice  ,  things  were  seemingly  on  the  up  and  up  for  her  .  

everything  came  crashing  down  when  she  was  photographed  kissing  a  co  -  star  --  another  girl  .  her  parents  not  the  most  accepting  pair  in  the  world  didn’t  take  well  to  this  and  the  abuse  that  had  seemingly  started  to  lessen  over  the  years  worsened  to  a  point  she  landed  in  the  hospital  .  blessing  and  a  curse  ,  now  that  she  looks  back  at  the  time  .  she’d  finally  told  someone  about  her  home  life  ,  a  nurse  at  the  hospital  ,  and  soon  enough  the  process  to  become  emancipated  started  for  her  .  once  the  news  was  broken  to  her  parents  ,  they  seemingly  let  her  go  with  ease  ,  claiming  she  was  already  dead  to  them  .  entirely  disowned  by  her  parents  ,  her  brother  was  her  only  family  left  but  after  a  few  months  even  he  sided  with  their  parents  and  cut  all  ties  jolene  .  

entirely  alone  and  on  her  own  in  hollywood  was  a  recipe  for  disaster  and  like  many  disney  kids  fate  she  spiraled  .  perfect  reputation  slipping  out  her  grasp  with  every  day  that  passed  .  drugs  ,  sex  ,  and  alcohol  ruled  her  life  and  soon  enough  disney  was  sick  of  trying  to  cover  it  all  up  .  giving  her  an  ultimatum  :  go  into  rehab  and  clean  up  her  act  or  cut  ties  with  disney  .  naturally  she  opted  for  rehab  and  after  six  months  she  was  seemingly  back  and  better  than  ever  ,  truth  was  ,  she  was  still  struggling  and  the  lime  light  only  worsened  things  for  her  .  

at  eighteen  she  packed  up  her  career  and  without  a  single  trace  fell  off  the  face  off  the  earth  .  no  longer  wanting  to  be  famous  ,  realization  that  acting  was  simply  just  a  means  for  her  to  try  and  make  her  mom  proud  --  something  she  no  longer  cared  to  do  .  she  enrolled  in  university  ,  majoring  in  business  with  a  minor  in  communications  ,  no  idea  what  she  was  going  to  do  with  her  degree  but  excited  to  start  down  a  new  path  all  of  her  own  .  college  was  fun  for  her  another  chance  to  find  herself  (  she  has  an  obsession  with  recreating  herself  )  .  she  was  feisty  and  strong  willed  ,  traces  of  that  meek  little  girl  she  once  was  scrubbed  clean  .  

when  the  time  came  to  graduate  she  realized  a  purpose  behind  everything  she’d  gone  through  with  fame  :  she  knew  the  ins  and  outs  of  it  all  and  could  easily  help  other’s  navigate  their  own  trials  and  tribulations  when  it  came  to  their  fame  .  becoming  a  publicists  was  fulfilling  for  her  ,  her  clients  becoming  a  form  of  her  very  own  found  family  (  she’d  do  anything  for  them  to  this  day  ,  even  ruin  her  own  reputation  if  she  had  to  )  .  she  was  one  of  the  good  ones  ,  despite  her  lack  of  a  filter  ,  and  she  cared  for  each  and  every  one  her  clients  and  their  careers  .  over  time  a  new  opportunity  arose  and  had  it  been  anyone  else  asking  for  her  help  she  would  have  likely  turned  them  down  but  when  carter  called  for  her  to  take  care  of  the  business  side  of  les  deux  she  simply  couldn’t  say  no  .  taking  off  her  publicist  cap  and  putting  on  one  more  suited  for  a  businesswoman  .  she  misses  the  pr  world  at  times  but  still  very  much  so  has  an  open  door  policy  with  anyone  looking  for  a  bit  of  advice  .  

when  she  not  busy  with  the  business  she  making  youtube  videos  and  makes  regular  podcast  runs  ,  something  she  fell  in  love  with  doing  back  in  college  and  hasn’t  let  go  of  since  .  she’s  finally  found  under  all  the  trash  that  was  piled  up  on  her  as  child  and  is  unwilling  to  ever  lose  herself  again  .  recently  becoming  more  vocal  about  her  childhood  ,  netflix  has  contacted  her  to  do  a  docuseries  on  her  life  .  although  filming  is  still  going  on  the  title  was  leaked  “  jolene  bowie  :  a  dance  with  the  devil  “  .  since  the  announcement  of  the  documentary  her  family  has  already  made  public  statements  trying  to  discredit  her  but  the  new  version  of  jolene  won’t  allow  them  to  silence  her  ever  again  .                                                                                                                                              

𝖑𝖆𝖞𝖊𝖗 𝖙𝖍𝖗𝖊𝖊     .     facts     .

has  an  affinity  for  anything  vintage  .  lives  by  vinyls  ,  polaroids  ,  old  magazines  ,  and  cars  older  than  her  father  .  she’s  a  big  collector  and  has  a  vast  collection  of  all  the  above  .  yes  ,  she  the  type  to  peruse  through  a  music  store  for  hours  and  drive  by  the  ocean  in  her  1962  oldsmobile  starfire  convertible  (  her  favorite  out  her  her  entire  car  collection  )  .  

still  does  music  here  and  there  but  it’s  more  for  herself  not  for  anyone  else  and  if  people  like  it  she  takes  that  as  a  plus  . 

very adventurous  ,  she’s  the  type  to  just  up  and  leave  for  a  week  without  a  word  .  you’ll  only  know  she’s  gone  when  she  posts  in  some  beautiful  country  on  instagram  . 

has  a  tough  relationship  with  love  ,  she  doesn’t  say  the  word  willy  nilly  and  is  incredibly  guarded  with  who  she  lets  in  .  if  she  loves  someone  ,  she’ll  always  love  them  . 

vulger  mouth  ,  with  no  filter  .  she  doesn’t  beat  around  the  bush  ,  ever  ,  and  can  be  a  bit  insensitive  at  times  with  how  she  says  things  .  she  never  says  anything  out  of  malice  but  her  tone  can  and  has  rubbed  many  the  wrong  way  over  the  years  . 

a  mother  bear  to  her  core  (  even  though  she  doesn’t  actually  have  children  )  .  she  doesn’t  care  if  you’re  ten  years  younger  ,  the  same  age  ,  or  ten  years  older  ,  she  is  a  protector  and  will  die  on  that  hill  .                                          

𝖑𝖆𝖞𝖊𝖗 𝖋𝖔𝖚𝖗     .     wanted     connections     .

hehe  .

#hillzhqsintro #ㅤ۪ㅤ۫ㅤ੭ ʲᵒˡᵉⁿᵉ 𝐛𝐨𝐰𝐢𝐞 : ❪ ⠀ ⠀ muse: ⠀ ⠀ ❫ #ㅤ۪ㅤ۫ㅤ੭ ʲᵒˡᵉⁿᵉ 𝐛𝐨𝐰𝐢𝐞 : ❪ ⠀ ⠀ about: ⠀ ⠀ ❫ #tw: rehab mention #tw: child abuse mention #tw: homophobia mention #tw: her life

[paldeacadell]

April@Cadell - I apologize if this question is a bit too personal right off the bite, but I have heard that you left your original region because of something about redemption? I can't say I understand your pain, but I definitely know where you're coming from. Everyone makes mistakes. But might I ask what it was you did? Perhaps admitting what you did beforehand will be a good start.

#Cadell Saguaro #art response #Astrix Pawmi #Pawmi #Padmini Saguaro #Typhlosion #tw: child abuse mention #tw: death mention #houseofhemingway

[gldnlitskies]

ZIAN LAPOINTE ( HE/HIM ) is a CIS MALE, TWENTY-SIX year old BARTENDER AT BRINIE’S BAR/BOXER IN TRAINING who has been living in Moorbrooke for TWENTY-FOUR YEARS. They were born on OCTOBER 31ST and right now, they are currently residing in OAKLEY COURT. It has been said that they look suspiciously like ARCHIE RENAUX and if they had to choose a song to describe themselves, they would choose PIECES by SUM 41.

name: zian lapointe age:26 occupation: bartender @ brinie’s bar & boxer in training resides: oakley court sexuality: closeted homosexual

tw: mentions of homophobia, child abuse, bad parenting

since the age of two, zian has lived in the small town of moorbrooke, maine. he was the youngest of the two lapointe children and he was also the more rambunctious one. despite being incredibly intelligent zian has always found ways to get into trouble in school, but his ability both dumbfounded and frustrated his professors. his implusive nature and quick witted tongue always got him sent to detention, suspended for a couple of days, or home with a letter that his parents had to sign.

things in his household were always a bit rocky. whether it were his parents fighting with one another, his father drinking too much, him getting in trouble, or his father taking out his anger on him, something always seemed to be going down. at first he cried at the pain beat whipping he got felt like, but eventually he learned  that life was going to end up kicking your ass one way or another so he might as well get used to it. and he did, he eventually did not cry when his father lost his temper.

tw: homophobia mention he was ten years old when he saw the movie the outsiders and had his first gay awakening. the moment his eyes landed on sodapop curtis, zian was a goner. he didn’t understand what he was feeling, especially after the shower scene, but he knew that he wanted to keep exploring these new feelings. somehow his father caught wind of what he was feeling and put a stop to it in the only way he knew how, also trying to drill into zian that  he ‘had to carry the family name one day’ with a kid of his own. eventually he learned to suppress these feelings as much as possible, but the thoughts still lingered in the back of his mind.

even though he doesn’t live with his father anymore these days, the guy is still very close to him, he still has a big influence in zian’s life. he’s not a quitter, something that he has proven again and again, especially when it comes to a fight. there’s times were even when he’s getting his ass handed to him he goes down swinging until he gets knocked out. he’s okay with losing just as long as he knows he gave it his all until the very end. he has a roommate that he gets along pretty well with which is still something that surprises him because he never thought anyone would be able to handle living with him for longer than an hour.

he had been working at brinie’s bar since he was twenty two. three years ago the bar came under owner ship of nadine dupont and zian couldn’t be happier with how things are. he’s loyal to her because he finds a sense of home with her that he’s never felt before, and he loves how she always seems to know how to knock sense into him. plus, fighting in her secret fight club also adds to the seemingly endless list as to why zian thinks he has the coolest boss around.

one day he wants to be a professional boxer and until that day comes he’s happy to be under the wing of demir kava-fortier. he knows he probably makes the guy want to scream sometimes because he can be very hard headed and not exactly the easiest person to work with, especially train, but there’s no one else that zian could imagine would be able to take on the challenge. 

more connections:

future mother of his child: we can plot things out! 

roommate: open to anyone who lives in oakley court!

favorite customer(s): open to all!

so much more!

#mbintro #tw: homophobia mention #tw: child abuse mention #tw: bad parenting mention

[sxbrinalogan]

The Glenda Section:

Requiem - Dear Evan Hansen “you were the flood that swallowed us whole, refusing a love we endlessly gave you. you were a fire out of control, the blaze that couldn’t be tamed... don’t tell me that i didn’t have it right, don’t tell me that it wasn’t black and white. after all you put me through, don’t say it wasn’t true, that you were not the monster that i knew.” 

Okay so I’ve officially exposed myself as a theater kid, ANYWAY. When it comes down to it, Glenda is at the center of the Logan family’s issues. Not that I think they didn’t already know that, but I think now that the three of them are out of it they’ll be able to identify just how fucked up of a situation they were in. I’m SURE they’ve heard someone say shit like “she’s the only mother you’ll have!!” etc. etc., but they’re not wrong to think Glenda was a total monster to all of them because she WAS. None of them are going to sing a requiem for the relationship they’ve lost, because there’s nothing to grieve. 

Because of You - Kelly Clarkson “i lose my way and its not too long before you point it out. i cannot cry because i know that’s weakness in your eyes. i’m forced to fake a smile, a laugh every day of my life. my heart can’t possibly break when it wasn’t even whole to start with... you never thought of anyone else, you just saw your pain. and now i cry in the middle of the night for the same damn thing.” 

A continuation of the GLENDA SUCKS conversation. 

*End Glenda Section*

Slipping Through My Fingers - ABBA “slipping through my fingers all the time, i try to capture every minute the feeling in it. slipping through my fingers all the time, do i really see what’s in her mind? each time i think i’m close to knowing she keeps on growing... what happened to the wonderful adventures? the places i had planned for us to go?” 

Okay, onto Sabrina’s relationship with the twins. She’s always taken a more motherly role with them and she feels like she blinked and they’ve both slipped right through her fingers. Not only does she not feel needed anymore, but she sort of feels like she has no place in their lives because they don’t need her. And while the two of them standing on their own feet is what she’s always wanted for them, she doesn’t really know who she is without taking care of them. 

Nothing New - Taylor Swift (feat. Phoebe Bridgers) “i know someday i’m gonna meet her, it’s a fever dream. the kind of radiance you only have at 17 20. she’ll know the way and then she’ll say she got the map from me. i’ll say i’m happy for her, then i’ll cry myself to sleep...i wonder if they’ll miss me once they drive me out.” 

Sabrina has sort of always felt like an outsider when it came to the twins, like they had a secret club she wasn’t allowed into. Part of it had to do with Glenda favoring her and the other part was the whole twin thing. She’s always had this fear that once she gave them everything they needed, they’d leave her behind and now she feels like it’s coming true. 

House in the Trees - Andrew McMahon in the Wilderness “when i dream it seems i’m chasing a bittersweet, bittersweet, bittersweet memory. when the last of your friends are gone, you learn a lot about hanging on and on. but if you crash and nobody sees just remember there will always be a room for you in my house in the trees. 

No matter what happens between them, Sabrina will always make room for Libby and Savannah in her life. She loves them like they’re her own, and there’s nothing they could do that could make her love them any less. Hell, she thought Libby was maybe a murderer and she was willing to help her cover it up! 

In conclusion, I love the Logan sisters with all my heart.

@runvway @libbylogan

#tw: child abuse mention #cusatask #not me giving up on linking the songs after 2

[rhys-ravenfeather]

Okay, you know what?

Maybe I’ll never get a genuine apology from my mother for the years of mental and emotional abuse she put me through, or be able to repair our relationship (because I already tried once and frankly? At this point I just don’t want anything to do with her anymore) like Mirabel and Mei were with Alma and Ming, respectively.

But I can use those films, and my own, real-life experiences as a reminder to do better and, if and when I have kids of my own, to be a much better mother to them than mine was to me.

#rhys-ravenfeather signing in #okay to reblog #disney's encanto #turning red #tw: child abuse mention #might add more to this later but basically i've been thinking about those movies and how they talk about intergenerational trauma #for specifically non-white families #and my mom (but really a lot of belizean adults in general)? #yeah--even after i've told her how she hurt me she was just like 'i guess yelling is just a thing parents do--granny yelled at me too' #like... #like i said i don't even really want a relationship with my mom anymore...we burned that bridge long ago #but i owe it to my possible future kids...AND myself to do better than her