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the--helen · 9 months

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Every heartache eats you, bite by bite.

Status: Closed

Where: around the streets

When: ~4am

With: @matthewbaudelaire

He had come home angry very quickly after leaving, she wasn’t sure what exactly had caused the state and did not dare ask while she sat on the couch, drapes pulled over the windows, no lights shining aside from a scented candle that filled the room with the smell of sandalwood. He explained to her his latest research on the topic of their future, but no success, and more refusals to even have it considered. He needed to leave the city tonight, still having around 5 hours of darkness before the sun came up. He had explained it all then pressed fingers to the back of her neck, peppering kisses along her face and lips before dragging his teeth down her neck and embracing her small frame with his other hand to her side. Helen could feel his fingers moving along her skin, but not register it as her mind was going blank. When she came to a short while after he had left her with new small bruises where he had held her, the room’s air left cold caressing her naked skin. She bent down and took his boxers, her own in tatters. Another pair to throw away. At least he always bought her new things to substitute the old ones and she was showered with all kinds of beautiful clothes and jewelry.

An old phone was sitting on the dining table and she looked at it with confusion, knowing she should remember something important about it. But the fog was too deep and she felt an urgency to breathe fresh air. Her heart began to beat fast, knowing that the windows would be bolted shut and the door locked as it always was when he left her alone in his apartment. Sitting on the floor her breath started to get stuck in her throat and sweat started forming on her skin, the feel of it icy and painful, almost as if burning her skin. She pulled a T-shirt over her head and hoped this would help, hugging herself a bit, but the feeling of something crushing her wasn’t going away.

Helen sat as a statue for what could have been days or weeks, or years…or perhaps it had been not even an hour, mere minutes or seconds. She was not sure and could not be sure. As if a millennia later, she stood on her feet and went to get the phone, wishing to call him and ask him to come back home and hold her and kiss her and stay with her until she fell asleep. Holding the brick device in one hand she could rationalize just a tiny bit more than a moment ago and knew that she shouldn’t have it there… along with the keys. Keys to their apartment, they weren’t in Nashville anymore. With a start, trembling fingers pushed the key in the lock, almost breaking it in half but it was unlocked and she knew Alexander wouldn’t mind her leaving as long as she let him know where she was at all times, with whom she was. He had told her that before leaving, she remembered that.

Her feet were in flip-flops she didn’t remember putting on, but they sounded quite cheerful as she walked in otherwise mostly silent streets. The fresh air was like a lifeline and she took deep gulps of it as she walked aimlessly down mostly unfamiliar streets. Her eyes were wandering over everything around and concentrated on absolutely nothing as she subconsciously pulled the neck of the top to clean the residue of a red liquid. She wasn’t cold and she wasn’t hot. She was nothing, but also continued to feel like everything inside her was on fire.

Another corner to turn and she was utterly lost but instead of panicking she stopped and sat at the curb, elbows on her knees, eyes on the road in front of her. There were voices somewhere in the distant and some light inside the buildings around, but no real proof of life at this hour. At least not to her, not now. It was peaceful and she felt as if she could be the last one left in the world. It was a nice feeling for her, imagining that. Despite its sad undertones it was a nice thing.

Her pale eyes followed the silhouette moving on the other side of the street, unfocused. Her mind was still not fully cleared and she did not remember yet that she shouldn’t be out alone after… an hour. What was the hour? And perhaps she should have stayed put in front of her building as it was very possible whoever walked past could take her away and she would be sad, right? A sound between a chuckle and a sigh filled with disappointment escaped her, air through her nose. Her irises returned to the silhouette. She thought she said hello but she wasn’t sure. Maybe she asked where she was or not.

#eheybbb #p:Matthew #tw: mental breakdown #tw: implied noncon #matty01

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unhappytimeleaper · 1 year

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I see the request is still open and I apologize for sending this early but I can't help, ur writing is rlly nice. Can I request yan adonis alphabet with K, H, A and S? if you r not busy and take care.

requested by 🍖

Word Count: 3,050+

I assume the meat emote is like,, what anon wanted to be noted as?

so, I tried. Honestly, Adonis is a character I don’t know quite as much about. Undead aren’t really my style and I find myself generally interested in characters outside of this group more, and it got to a point that I ended up having to rewrite this a few times to get it to make sense with what I wanted to convey.

This note isn’t like,, super important but my asks are still open. I am doing my best to try to get things out faster and when I start my new job I do want to find a schedule that works so I can still post when I begin working full time. Please be proud I wrote this in like 2 days once I really focused on it even though the sad hours were really bad at times.

Otogari Adonis; Unedited. Gender Neutral Reader.

Warnings; yandere content, mental breakdown, gaslighting [mostly to yourself/Adonis to himself], clingy Adonis is clingy.

This blog is 17+ please have your age in your bio or tagged; any ageless blog and below the age asked for will be blocked at the end of the week.

Affection: How do they show their love and affection? How intense would it get?

One of the problems is that Adonis isn't too far off from a regular relationship; however, everything is amplified so much that it becomes a problem to handle. Or at least far beyond anything that is healthy, push a level of co-dependency even most clingy couples would be worried about. He's not restrictive like some others; he's not one to try to ban you from most things [unless he becomes highly over-worried for your safety] or to remove people from your personal life. Generally, that comes to friends outside of the industry and family; Adonis doesn't necessarily go out of his way to keep you from other idols, but you can tell there is a shift to his emotions when around others on par with him in the field. Perhaps it's a fear that he isn't as remarkable when around them or thinks they have some sort of skill he lacks. It is one that he knows is irrational; you're dating him, not them, but he can't help but have some adverse reaction to watching you talk to them.

Instead, Adonis comes off as extremely lovesick and overbearing in his affection. Much like the honeymoon stage of a relationship, but instead, this is one-sided and far more clingy. And to a level, he can recognize that it is unhealthy, that it's only him giving the level of love. It doesn't matter in the end. Part of him is able to dilute himself so much into thinking that you love him enough to justify his actions; it's just not your style to project in the same way— and how he shows his love is just as normal, just not common for people around here. It takes him a while to entirely lose himself in these delusions, but in the meantime, it stays just as intense. He just often would be more willing to apologize when you get upset since he likely doesn't want you to find a reason to leave him; however, he never seems to change his actions.

PDA is an everyday occurrence. It feels as if you can't go out at all without him touching you somewhere, holding hands, arms interlocked, wrapped around your waist. If you can't be physically touching, Adonis is like a large blanket, hovering so close behind you it feels like he's about to drape himself over your frame. You can ask him to take a step back, and he will go with a brief "sorry" before inching back closer. More explicit things like kisses might be more chaste against your forehead or hands than lips, while he is much more PDA friendly than some of the others he's been in Japan long enough to adopt some standards to the culture like keeping those forms of intimacy to just you two. Plus, Adonis sees something like a kiss to the forehead as more intimate as a public display with how soft how close it really shows you off to teach others without needing some overt dominance. Gifts are another big thing, either handed to you or left somewhere you easily can access, like a work desk. Of course, some are bought gifts, but this can include letters he's written for the day, snacks, flowers, pre-released undead merch [specifically his], etc. Anything he can get his hands on seems to find its way to you with some sort of sappy attachment. Realistically he knows you can't hold onto everything he gives [and knows food/flowers can't last], but it seems if he doesn't see enough of his gifts, there will be a sudden influx of what you begin to receive to fill the perceived void.

The last sort of big way Adonis would show this is by protecting you. For him, it doesn't matter how strong you actually are, physically or mentally. Things like size and capabilities aren't factors he tends to pick up on; he just believes that no matter what it is, it is his job to protect you. Whether or not it's because he subconsciously thinks of you as 'weaker' and it's his duty to protect others, he views it as that way, or that he sees it as his job in the relationship to do it is ambiguous. Still, regardless there seems to be a disconnect. If something at work is stressing you out, he'll do everything to remove it or lessen it, some paranoid fear about a person hurting you, he has the ability to keep you away from them. There often isn't an 'I just need to vent about this' type mindset for him because he thinks it's his job to just solve it; make your life easier. Protect you from anything negative even though it gets to a point it's him making the most negative impact. It is if anything deeply frustrating but hard to communicate and get him to see the faults in his actions, causing a cycle of just bickering into the void, having whatever is bothering you with his actions stop for a few days, only to have it return back to normal.

Kisses: How do they act around or with their darling?

This one I don't have much to say because I covered it above with how intense it gets and how it shows itself. The answer is pretty simple, but the main word to describe Adonis is clingy. Not in a literal sense necessarily, but one where even if he isn't around, it's like he's breathing down your neck. What is the media's depiction of a 'perfect boyfriend' and what many outsiders might deem the relationship as being really is just overbearingly clingy. Too many messages to count, and calls that were once sweet now feel more like an interruption. The snacks and meals are nice, you hate to complain about the food, but it can be sort of suffocating too. UNDEAD items you honestly can't escape from as there feels like a need to play the role of a supportive partner with as much merch he gives you… even worse if they aren't your favorite group, but it's not like you'd ever tell him that. You know that he wouldn't get angry, but he might sulk a little more and work double to make it, so they are, which really just sounds more draining for both of you. Easier to keep quiet and be happy over the new additions to your… UNDEAD shrine.

In the end, even when he's present, it's again nothing that far off from a normal relationship. You can freely go outside with or without him [although he does like to know where you are at all times just in case], but this never hinders dates. I mean, he still has to wear some form of disguise if it's too public more so that you don't get mobbed, but he is also a brick wall— hard to not notice him resulting in you often opting to stay in. You'll watch shows, cook, etc. As long as you're close enough and he knows what you're doing [mainly out of pure curiosity rather than monitoring], time together is all he asks for, so you can do whatever hobby you wish so long as he can hover around you. Cuddling is key, and much like if you are in public, there is likely some way he's touching you, even if it's just legs spread across his lap as you fiddle around with something online while making idle conversation with him.

As mentioned, none of these things are bad; so much of it just feels like a regular relationship. It's hard to put into words to explain to others why things might feel off. Not bad, you're not scared by him doing something, but there is just something an inch below the surface that feels misplaced. Being with Adonis is just that everything is fractured slightly. You care for him. Being with Adonis is one of the few yandere who starts off as a genuine relationship between both parties being involved, but his love and suffocating presence are always lurking in the back of your mind.

Hell: What would be their darling’s worst experience with them?

The first fight and not for the reasons you might think. Being with Adonis, while he has his own issues of overbearing clinginess and unbreakable ideals, is not a bad partner to have. It's hard to see anything as 'bad,' and eventually, it gets to the point that you likely see yourself as the wrong one in the equation regardless of healthy boundaries. Essentially self, gaslighting yourself into thinking, 'why am I not like how he is?' or 'what is wrong with me for not being as happy as he is?' type of deal. It can get to a point where you force yourself to try to like him and dilute yourself into thinking this is how it's supposed to be or become essentially miserable that you can't have this same sense of adoration for him. Regardless, this type of feeling can't last and would likely lead to some form of burnout in the relationship.

What makes it hell is the emotional toll all of this will take. The feelings of what's wrong with me, why am I not happy when others say I should be. Why is all of this so easy for Adonis when it is so hard for you? At some point, you forget this is an unhealthy relationship— it's not like he ever harms you. It's not like he doesn't try to invalidate your emotions or even try to give you space. He doesn't isolate you from friends or family, and even with other idols; sure, he's more grumpy than normal, but it's not like he does anything wrong to them. All of these feelings bubble and bubble and bubble, and more and more, the sadness and pain of just not getting it digs deeper into your heart.

The first fight isn't even a fight. Honestly, you can't seem to remember it, but Adonis does seem to wince every time it's brought up. For you, it's almost a haze of crying and screaming and eventual numbness. You don't remember what you said or what he said. You can remember laying on the floor, curled up as best as you could, sobbing with Adonis hovering over you like a second shadow trying to calm you down. Part of you believes at that moment, he must have been a guardian angel, comforting you in one of your darkest hours. However, part of you believes he is a devil in disguise. One who wants to be an angel but cannot fulfill the role due to the nature of his circumstance truly matching within his idol persona.

Things after this likely can never return to how it was. Adonis is still the same as he was before, and you… well, things seem duller no matter how much you try to let them go back to normal. You wonder if you will ever be able to return to how you once felt. To others, Adonis can only ever explain it as stress from everything seeming to have finally gotten to you; it's hard for him to accept the main factor was himself. But it's okay. Or it will be okay. He just has to work harder, and he'll always be there to make it that way. He promises-- it is his duty to protect those weaker after all.

Stigma: What brought about this side of them (childhood, curiosity, etc)?

While most yanderes have one central point or influence that left them with these tendencies, Adonis has multiple that caused him to develop like this over an extended period of time. The thing is, most of these things by themselves aren't harmful, but it's the people and amalgamations of it all around him that eventually push him further and further into the extreme, eventually causing him to fall fully into his own delusions of what is 'normal.'

The main one is likely the influence of media. Music, tv shows, plays— all of these are, let's say… not always the best way to gain an understanding of what romance is supposed to be like. The intensely devoted, no problems ever are sadly fiction. Or that things can just be magically lost forever when it takes both a lot of effort to make it do so, and most will not have their first love be their only love. It will always be a fantasy to have a love like this, but most people often struggle to learn this throughout the course of relationships. Much like how you might feel, 'why isn't my love the same as Adonis' mentioned in the last section, he felt the same way. Why isn't my love as strong as theirs in the show. Why isn't it as easy as the way this play Souma and him go to express it as. Their latest song was all about full devotion to someone. Is that how it's meant to be? In the end, all of this forces its way into shaping how he views love. Honestly, there rarely are depictions of what is a good progression of relationships and what is closer to the reality around love both in traditional stories and modern. It's easy to get lost in it all.

Even if it didn't feel right at first, there eventually comes a time he is able to quickly break down those feelings of it being wrong into being right. Self-brainwashing to conform to the media standards of love. And really, even if it is public that it's you who he's referring to, the industry would eat that shit up. It fits so well into the group's branding, and Adonis's call pulls off that strong, perfect love appeal so well. No one calls it out or tries to change it; half of them might think it's just some persona he's putting on for fans to swoon over. That validation just proves to Adonis though that he was right. Right? It's again just an unhealthy cycle of how media really doesn't promote what is realistic with love.

The second would be wishful thinking. Adonis comes off as the type who would idealize love even without the impact that media has. That love, true love, can overcome all, and the first love he has is the real deal. There is something so wonderful to imagine that he can say it worked out. That his first was his only, and his passionate feelings from the start are burning just as strongly as they did then. Likely growing up, this was precisely that. A wish or fantasy, but when experiencing the progression of a relationship, it becomes less and less of just a wish and more of a goal. He wouldn't fail at this, and he could make it work and change this thinking into action. The fault of this is much like with media; a lot of this is all it can be. A wish or fantasy. The majority of people don't or can't make the wish of finding true love to have it last, and that's okay even more with something so complex as dating a celebrity/idol where there are so many external impacts that could cause distress. But all of the logic that he might have about it not working out because of so many factors is tossed aside for a hopeless romantic fantasy. Although, this is something that Adonis might struggle to admit to wanting even to you.

The last leading factor is probably the fear of loneliness and not wanting to be alone. It's not really a secret that Adonis has difficulty connecting with others due to a language barrier and his personality. Even more than that, Japan can be a reasonably lonely country; it's hard to put making friends into action and create deep bonds that are often made worse when you are a foreigner. And while he has his fans, that opens up a whole other barrier and sense of loneliness because it is hard to connect on a deeper level with them. None of this is to say he doesn't have friends, especially within ES, Adonis is one to know he does have others to support and connect with, but there is a key difference between when that kind of bonds reach limitations with friendships versus a romantic one. It's easy to attach to someone and perceive the levels of bonding differently when dating, and that's why Adonis knows he cares deeply for his friends; it's not the same level of love he has for you. And it's scary to think about losing that, to be alone and not know where to direct those feelings anymore. Or that the comfort you can provide in a romantic aspect would be lost, and that sense of isolation from others will manifest. This is one where it's perhaps not a sentiment he publicly shares much, but in vague conversations with others at ES, they might express similar feelings, which in turn convinces Adonis to do everything he can to ensure a fallout doesn't happen. It results in pushing him more into a delusional mindset that rather than risking a fight or a 'rough patch,' he can keep a honeymoon period going, and in turn, there would never be a reason to leave.

These types of issues are, I think, ones that would only really be onset by a committed relationship. While most yanderes might have sentiments that track to their childhood to explain their actions or some form of a traumatic event that resulted in a change to their perception of love, there wasn't really a way to predict that Adonis would fall into something like this. All of the factors might have been present from a young age, media influence didn't just magically appear, or this sort of wishful fantasy didn't randomly spark interest after a first date by any means, but for the longest time, Adonis probably would assume he could handle romance in a mature, healthy way. Most people around him think he is put together, too, so there wouldn't be a reason to inherently worry about him pursuing love, unlike others at ES. It's why this near-dramatic shift to being this way isn't something you or any other could put a stop to early on.

#enstars.leaps #yandere #yandere writing #yandere x reader #yandere ensemble stars #yandere enstars #yandere headcanons #yandere scenarios #Yandere Adonis #Yandere UNDEAD #enstars x reader #ensemble stars Adonis #adonis otogari #Yandere Adonis otogari #tw: yandere #tw: mental breakdown #tw: gaslighting

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friendball-irl · 8 months

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OOC Warning: Please mind the tags. This one's a bit heavy. Take care of yourselves, please.

The Lovers: Love, Relationships, Values

The Tower: Disaster, Chaos, Revalation

[CONNECTION FOUND

Text document opened.

...

Everything hurts

I can't think I don't want to think I only think of them

I hurt when they hurt I want it to stop

I can't stop caring why can't I stop

I can't help them why can't I make it better for them I'm useless all I want is for them to be happy but they aren't happy and that means I'm not happy it's not fair it's not fair it's not fair why isn't it fair

Please make it stop make it stop PLEASE

Andi please can't you help me aren't you powerful aren't you almost a god why can't you help me

Can't you take me somewhere where everything's fine

Please

Anyone

Please

I can't live like this

I don't want to live like this

...I want to live

How can I live without this

Wait

I could

Yes

Yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YEYESYESYESYEYESYESYESYEYESYESYESYEYESYESYESYEYESYESYESYEYESYESYES

I could be like her

Careless

Fearless

Strong

I can't ask for her help

She hates me I know it

But

Her home

That region

That's where it happens

I can go there

CONNECTION LOST]

...

{I... Oh, arc... what... Gray, what are you doing...?}

#ooc: tell me if any of the tags need changed or if any need added. this bit's a tad heavy I'll admit #in character #pokemon irl #graystuff #tarot arc #tw: repeating text #tw: suicidal thoughts #(but not really)#tw: psychosis #tw: panic attack #tw: mental breakdown #ducky the porygon 2 #duckystuff

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van-yangyin · 10 months

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TW tw: mental breakdown, tw: illness, it's abour our dog (Lea and me), just in case

A month and a few days ago I guess you have seen how I've done practically nothing on this blog, just writing challenges and little else. That's because some time ago Yuka, the puppy of our family (me and @lea-heartscxiv among them) didn't eat any fodder, and started scratching the wall with her mouth. At first we didn't take it as something so serious, in fact we thought it was the fodder, because she did eat the homemade food. But the night of the 6th to the 7th July, during the night she became very immobile and only breathed (although the first thing shouted was that she was dead, which was something quite shocking, before seeing her breathing) so we decided to take her to the vet, first we went to one and she told us that Yuka was anemic, that she ate very little and that lacked red blood cells, she needed a blood transfusion and they referred us to another vet. We went to the other vet and they did the same tests as at the other vet because the information they sent to them was insufficient and poorly done. They did an analysis and an ultrasound, in the analysis they found insufficient red blood cells as in the other vet and in the ultrasound they found that she has a fairly large tumor in the stomach which is what causes anemia, as the tumor causes the vitamins in the food to reject the vitamins provided.

The first operation is very expensive, of the three options we were given from $1600 to $2600 the most expensive (more or less) and it is also the first of many, not counting chemotherapies. It's a hereditary disease, she's 10 years old and her father died when he was 13 years old because of the same thing, so surely it was something that had to happen to her. In the end, much to our regret, we have decided not to operate her, because of the financial issue and because we don't want her to spend the last years of her life with operations and all that entails both physically and psychologically. This week until next week we're administering pills and liquids that protect her stomach so that she can eat again, the problem is that it's decisive that she eats, otherwise we will have to go back to the vet and see what we can do. And just today she doesn't want to eat anything and has vomited the pill along with the food we have given her. We have already had another dog with tumor in the past, in fact she had threetumors and died at the age of 15 without any operation, in fact she died because got lost and her condition when she was found was very weak (I was still a toddler). Although we know that every dog is different, when it has to happen it will happen and in the meantime she will be surrounded by lots of love and lots of cuddles, be it one, two, three, four, five years or whatever.

Lately that's why I haven't had the energy to sit down and start organizing posts of Custom Content to share. I've only been able to draw, write and create half-made custom content that isn't even well done, because of this lack of emotional energy.

I hope you can understand my situation. It's not that I'm leaving everything half done, it's just that my mental energy is only focused on Yuka, just like it's with Lea. We're starting again to publishing but for Costum Content part I don't want to share anything at the moment, because I can't do things in mood I'm in and then later regret what I've shared because I hated the final result.

I'm already starting to process everything that is going on and waiting for this week to see how everything progresses and if Yuka will finally eat or not, and get the energy she's missing. It's so heartbreaking to see how she wouldn't stand still before and now she's not even able to walk down a step from the door to go into the house. All she can do is just lie in the yard. But unlike the other day, now every time we go to her, she gets up and wags her tail, which was very difficult for her the pasts days.

#tw: mental breakdown #tw: illness #it's abour our dog (Lea and me)#non sims #although it's about it at the end #lea-heartscxiv #van-yangyin

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hoperoiselover · 8 months

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WOOOO NEW KIDDELA CATALOGUE CHAPTER FINALLY!! READ CHAPTER TEN ON AO3 HERE! TW: implied death, religious themes, implied child abuse, mental breakdown(s), Mervin :middle_finger: CHAPTER TEN, FOREVER MEANS NOTHING

The bike sped past the cookie-cutter houses and slowed to make a turn towards a shopping center. The center was small and run down, but in the middle of all the gloomy, closed businesses was a colorful flower shop.

“Oh! Look! It’s still open!” Cesar said, pointing to the shop.

Mark nodded and stopped pedaling. He used his foot to stop the bike from tipping over. Cesar hated this part, sometimes he’d fall off or lose balance, but luckily he was able to hop off the bike without hurting himself.

The two smiled at each other, and Mark got off the bike, now walking with it. He then left his bike outside of the store. He motioned to Cesar that they could go inside the flower shop now. Cesar nodded and followed Mark as he entered the little store.

The ring of a bell filled the store, overlapping the soft music being played through speakers around the business. There were shelves filled with gardening equipment, fertilizer, pots, seeds, and bouquets. Cesar inhaled the smell of the flowers and smiled.

“Just a second!” A short lady with brown blondish hair and light brown eyes made her way over to the two, she smiled softly at the two boys.

“Hi Mrs. Martinez!” Mark smiled up at the woman, her fingers covered with wet dirt.

“Hi there boys! How can I help you today?” Mrs. Martinez smiled. She wiped the dirt off with some paper towels that were on the cluttered counter.

“Queríamos comprar algunas flores para mi papá y la familia de Mark, Por favor, Señora Martinez,” Cesar smiled at the middle aged woman.

Mark looked at Cesar with confusion. He never understood the Spanish language, but he had tried before.

“Ah, you’re going to see your families today?” She smiled softly, yet sadly at the boys.

“Mhm, we brought money this time, so we can pay for it,” Mark nodded and pulled out the dollars and coins from his pocket.

“Aye chico, don’t bother! You can have them for free,” Martinez grinned at the two and grabbed two flower bouquets. One had orange, white, and yellow flowers while the other had pink, purple, and white flowers.

“Really?!” Both boys said, smiling at the woman.

“Of course! You two come here every few weeks and are just so polite, along with how much you still care for your loved ones. I wish you two many blessings,” Mrs. Martinez handed the flowers to both boys and smiled.

“Thank you so much Ma’am!” Mark smelled the flower’s sweet aroma.

“Of course! You two are always welcome here!”

“Gracias!” Cesar smiled and held his bouquets close to his chest.

She nodded at the two boys and watched them leave the store, the little store bell ringing again.

“Betty, were Mark and Cesar the ones who just left? I recognized their voices,” A taller, strawberry blond woman walked in the room. Her cane hit the side of the front desk and she smiled.

“Yes it was my love,” Betty Martinez looked at her wife and smiled softly as she placed her hand on Gigi’s green gardening gloves.

“Oh, those two are the sweetest boys I've ever did met! Did they stop to get flowers for their parents?” Gigi smiled and moved her hand up Betty’s arm, looking in the direction she believed Betty was in.

“Yes dear, they did,” Betty smiled softly at her wife and placed her free hand on Gigi’s.

“Awh, I wish I could’ve talked to ‘em! Cesar loves our flowers, and Mark is just the kindest soul!” Gigi flicked her hand and giggled, her southern accent was very prominent when she spoke.

“I know Gigi, I know…”

The sound of the store’s front door bell ringing could be heard.

“Oh, just on second love,” Betty smiled and got out from behind the counter, and made her way to the new customer, “Hello sir how can I… sir?”

“I forgot how many graves there were….” Mark mumbled clutching the bundle of orange, yellow, and white flowers.

“Y-yeah…. This place still scares me,” Cesar looked around. The gravesite was packed with headstones, some older than his mother. The cemetery was always a dark and gloomy place, even with how many times the two had come here they couldn’t help but feel unsafe.

Cesar shivered, the dead trees made a shrill noise as they rubbed their branches together and the sound of dirt and dead grass crunching under their shoes made him hold his breath. Mark held Cesar’s hand as they walked.

“Can we hurry before it gets dark?” Mark looked at Cesar. His green eyes full of anxiety. Cesar nodded and started to walk faster. The two jumped at every sudden noise, they didn’t want to be here anymore, but they had to give their parents the flowers, the only colors that seem to make their experience less terrifying.

“Oh! Look! I see Mom and Dad over there!” Mark smiled and pointed at a cross headstone, there was a rosary with red beads and a yellow cross hanging from it.

Cesar nodded and started to run for the grave. Mark followed in pursuit.

OPHELIA AND JASON HEATHCLIFF, EVEN THROUGH THE WORSE, THEY MADE THE BEST. 19XX-1998 19XX-1998

Mark suddenly felt his stomach drop as they approached the tomb of his parents. It still hurts to know they haven’t come back, yet Uncle Dave said they will some day, just maybe not for a long time. Mark stared at the engraved words, dirt and grime making it hard to read. Hopefully someday Uncle Dave, Sarah, and himself could clean it up really nice, maybe they’d come back then.

Mark placed the flowers in front of the cross and got on his knees. He clasped his hands together and closed his eyes, his head looking down. Cesar patiently watched behind Mark. He would always say a little prayer for his parents, the three used to do that together before they ate their food and before bedtime. Mark mumbled under his breath and finished his prayer. He looked up at the cross.

“Please listen to me my lord, please. I still look up to you to answer my prayers and wishes. Please protect the ones I love and care about, thank you, amen,” Mark didn’t notice the tears streaming down his face. He prayed one day that they will return, that Sarah can get to know her Mom and Dad, that someday the alternates who have hurt his family will go away, and that his best friend could live freely without fear. Mark wanted everyone to be happy. Was that too much to ask for? Just for some happiness?

“Mar mar?... You okay?” Cesar sat down next to Mark and placed a hand on his shoulder. He rested the purple, pink, and white flowers on his lap as he tried to comfort Mark.

“M-mhm… I just…I-i miss ‘em Ces…” Mark whimpered, "I miss ‘em s-so much!” Mark sobbed, he rubbed his eyes with his hands and hiccupped through his sobs.

Cesar looked at Mark with worry and hugged him, rubbing his back, “H-hey… it’s okay…. I know… I know you miss them… I miss them too… they were very nice people…”

“I w-wan’ Mommy and D-daddy to c-come back! W-why are they t-taking so long!” Mark whined, and hit the ground with his fist. Was he being selfish?

Cesar frowned and hugged Mark slightly tighter, “I know…I’m so sorry Mar mar…”

“S-stop s-saying sorry! You w-weren't involved with their deaths! T-those s-stupid alternates killed them! I-I saw it h-happen!” Mark yelled as he took a sharp inhale of air.

Cesar winced, “I-i…. I know…b-but I still feel bad…”

Mark sniffed and rested his head on Cesar’s shoulder. The two didn’t say anything to each other for a while. Cesar continued to hug and comfort Mark to the best of his ability. He hated seeing his best friend in so much agony.

Mark’s chest slowly began to rise and fall in an even, calm matter and he wipes his tears away.

“I’m sorry Ces… we’ve been here for so long the sun is setting… you haven’t given your dad his flowers yet,” Mark frowned. He felt guilty for wasting Cesar’s time.

“I-it’s okay! We can do it another day!-” Cesar smiled and was cut off by the brunette.

“No! We’re going to see your dad today, right now!” Mark yelled with determination. He stood up and adjusted his backpack on his back, “His grave is over by the gazebo right?”

“M-mark we can do it later I don’t want you getting in trouble-”

“Shush shush! We’re going! Now it's over there right?” Mark picked up the flowers and gave them to Cesar.

“I-...Yeah… Papa is over there…” Cesar held the flowers close and stood up.

“Perfect! Come on!” Mark grabbed Cesar’s hand and started to run for the grave. Cesar yelped as Mark dragged him by the hand.

Mark ran as quickly as his legs could take him. He dogged the decaying trees and smaller headstones. He could hear Cesar’s startled yelps every time he almost hit himself against a tombstone or tree. Cesar’s footwork was as graceful as a newborn deer.

After a bit of running and Cesar almost tripping a few times, Mark saw it. The grave had some wilting flowers on it and it was quite small, not as grand as Mark’s parent’s cross was.

ROMAN TORRES, 19XX-1998

“Ces! Were..here!” Mark smiled as he panted.

Mark looked at Cesar and frowned. Cesar was holding the now bent and smashed flowers. When Mark had been dragging him along Cesar had accidentally squished the flowers trying to protect them.

“Cesar….the flowers…” Mark pointed to them as he regained his breath.

Cesar looked down, petals were missing, the stems bent, the flower bulbs mushed together, “Oh…i’m sorry…” Cesar frowned, he ruined the flowers… Suddenly, he didn’t want to be here anymore.

“Hey,... it’s okay! Look! They are still pretty,” Mark smiled as he patted Cesar’s shoulder.

Cesar sighed and went over to the simplistic grave. He picked up the wilted flowers and placed the new ones. Cesar used his hand to wipe the dirt off the tombstone. He frowned. Papa deserved a better burial, funeral, and grave… How dare his mother show disrespect to his papa even after death… Cesar couldn’t help but feel angry. His chest welled up with bottled up frustration. Cesar took a deep breath; he shouldn't be angry at his Mama, nor at his Papa. He loved them too much.

“Hola Papa….um… I… I really miss you… um… I still have your jacket!...Mark kept it safe for me… I wish you could meet him… I think you two would like each other… I-i’m sure Mama misses you too!... …Te amo Papa…i’m sorry I don’t know what else to say…” Cesar sighed, his chest ached and he felt tired. Every word that came from his mouth made his body feel heavy. He wanted to say more, but what was the point when the person he was trying to talk to could not listen.

Cesar looked down at his father’s grave, tears silently poured down the sides of his face. How he longed for those arms again. To hold him and to comfort him. Cesar grabbed his father’s jacket’s sleeve, and he winced.

“...Ces…,” Mark frowned sadly. He went over to Cesar and hugged him close.

“Will you stay?” Cesar asked Mark, continuing to look at the dirty headstone. His voice quiet and monotone.

“What?”

“Could you stay…with me… forever?....Please?”

“Ces,... I’m not going anywhere…I promise you,...I’ll stay, forever, right here, next to you…”

Cesar softly squeezed the younger, yet taller boy. He let out a shaky breath and sniffed. Cesar’s tears were making Mark’s light gray hoodie darken. Mark returned the squeeze. No matter what happens, Mark promises to never leave Cesar’s side… “I’ll never leave…you’re my best friend..” Mark smiled at the smaller boy.

“Mm..Thank you…t-thank you so much, Mark,” Cesar smiled softly and took a deep breath.

“You’re welcome…”

“Thank you Eliana for the food,” Adam held a small bowl in his hands, its rough, plastic texture made him cringe when he rubbed his fingers against it.

“What do I keep on telling you, Adds! Momma makes the best food ever!” Jonah smiled and giggled, he was bouncing up and down as he ran across the kitchen and dining room. He was helping his mother clean the kitchen.

Eliana smiled softly and chuckled, “It’s no problem chico, and thank you Jo. I appreciate it.

Jonah smiled at Eliana and smiled as she took the bowl from Adam and washed it.

“I need you two in Jonah’s room before eight o’ clock alright? I don’t want Pops to see Adam okay?” Eliana said as she finished washing the dishes, draining the water from the sink. She looked at the clock on the wall, seven forty two P.M.

“Okay, Momma!” Jonah smiled, “Oh! Adam! Do you want to continue to play what we were before?”

“Oh,...Okay!” Adam grinned, as he fixed his hair. The lamb hoodie was flattening his curls.

“Aye! Make sure to brush your teeth! I don’t need you to have a trip to the dentist this summer!” Eliana scowled playfully.

“Ughhhhh fine!” Jonah groaned and walked to the bathroom, Adam followed Jonah.

Eliana sighed to herself as she dried her hands with a kitchen towel. She had been dreading night time to arrive. Mervin should be on his way home now, unless he was out doing god knows what. Eliana growled under her breath. Fucking Mervin, ditching his job as a father and going out a getting drunk or whatever and leaving all the work to her, what an asshole.

Eliana could hear the sounds of giggling and the pitter patter of little feet running against the wood floors, followed by a door being shut closed. She smiled softly to herself before frowning. God, what was Mervin going to say when he got home. What was he going to do when he realized the money from their account had gone down. She knew she couldn’t hide it from him. Eliana knew that Mervin was a dick, but he wasn’t a dumbass, sometimes.

She took a deep breath and began to sweep the floors. Even though the floors were perfectly fine, there was something about always having something to do that Eliana found comfort with. She couldn’t sit down and just relax, there were too many things to get done, along with Mervin’s stupidly high expectations, nothing was good enough for the greedy bastard. Just thinking about Mervin made Eliana’s blood boil. Her movements when sweeping got more aggressive. She wanted to scream, tear out her hair as if that would get rid of all the problems in her life. Eliana huffed and looked at the clock again, seven forty nine P.M. To Eliana time wasn’t moving fast enough. It was like the sound of the clock ticking down to certain doom was taunting her, tick…..tock……tick ... .tock…. Eliana took another deep breath, sweat dripping down her forehead. She tapped the broom’s handle with her nail. Her heart beating rapidly and the clock’s ticking filling her brain. Tick, tock, tick, tock.

Eliana shut her eyes and snapped her neck in the direction of the clock. Her eyes full of rage and annoyance.

“Stupid fucking clock…” Eliana spat and rolled her eyes as she continued to sweep. When she finally left her guard down and calmed down a tad, the front door opened and was slammed closed.

Eliana jumped and looked at the man now standing in the kitchen.

“Eliana. You got some fucking explaining to do.” END OF CHAPTER TEN, FOREVER MEANS NOTHING.

#tmc #the mandela catalogue #the mandela catalogue au #the kiddela catalogue #adam murray #jonah marshall #cesar torres #mark heathcliff #mervin marshall #GRHHH GRHHH I HATE MERVIN MARSHALL #tw implied death #tw: religious themes #tw: implied child abuse #tw: mental breakdown

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mimi-noelle · 8 months

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I’m so confused. I’ve seen multiple people talk about how they want Ahsoka to break. To be bitter and angry and to lash out at others. And I don’t understand why.

(tw: discussion of trauma and mental breakdowns)

Like, she clearly has her trauma. She’s been through some incredibly horrible situations. But like, that doesn’t mean she has to be an asshole. Like some people might deal with trauma by lashing out at others and becoming bitter and angry. But that’s not the only way to deal.

Ahsoka appears to have settled into bottling things up. It lets her stay calmer. It feels safer. If she doesn’t give into her feelings then she can’t be controlled by them. That’s how she copes.

As someone who copes similarly, I feel like it is highly unlikely that she is going to give in to bitterness and anger, that she would lash out, that she would act in a way that has her losing control of her emotions. That’s what she is actively trying to avoid.

Also, everyone has a different breaking point. What it takes for someone to break varies wildly from person to person. It also depends on what “breaking” means in the context of the situation. And how a person responds to the break is different for everyone.

Considering what Ahsoka has already been through, how much she has dealt with, how much trauma she has had to learn to cope with, I feel like it would take something of incredible magnitude to break her. And if that were to happen, I suspect she would shut down and shut everyone out.

It is in her nature and it is her goal to do what is right, to be helpful to others or to a cause, to fight for the things that are worth fighting for. That will not change if she breaks. That will still be a part of her. Even in a deep moment of darkness, who she is would not change. She would still have those values. She would want to minimize the hurt of those around her and I bet that she would shut everyone out to accomplish that.

Maybe I’m rambling. But I don’t like the idea that because you have been through trauma and you have not dealt with the full extent of that trauma, that you will act like an asshole to everyone around you because of it. It doesn’t work like that. You can be traumatized and still be kind and compassionate and caring towards others.

Ahsoka will always try her best, even in her darkest moments.

#I don’t like the assumptions being made about trauma survivors #and I felt inclined to talk about it #because it really bothers me #ahsoka tano #ahsoka series #ahsoka show #ahsoka #star wars #sw meta #ahsoka meta #character analysis #tw: trauma #cw: trauma #tw: mental breakdown #cw: mental breakdown #mimi talks #what a risk to talk about feelings in star wars

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rippinsinners · 1 year

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Location: Reed's Childhood Trailer Home

Closed: @buryeden

The door to his mother's bedroom had remained shut since the moment he had arrived back in his hometown. Reed had avoided the trailer all together in an attempt to circumvent any of the terrible feelings that would inevitably arise. He dealt with her funeral which was nothing more than him and a few friends sharing a drink, her end of life will and everything else. Yet, Reed couldn't get the nerve to go into her room and clean it out of her things. A lonely night drove him to stare down the bottle of whiskey and pop a few benzos he found lying around the trailer to calm his nerves.

Even after all of this, he still couldn't will himself to open that shut door that he avoided so much. The pills made him feel heavy, unable to lift himself off the dingy carpet he had known so well. Even if everything was still the same in his home since he left, it all felt foreign. Reed felt like a trespasser in his own life and he didn't belong here.

Fingers pulled at the fabric below him, trying to find something to hold onto to desperately, but he seemed to fail, just like he failed to save his mother. Rhodes told him this would happen, but selfishly he left without a single care and now had to deal with the fall out. Grasping the bottle of the amber liquid, he damned the cup all together, sipping straight from the source.

In an attempt to do what he felt he couldn't do sober, he crawled towards her bedroom, but before he could open the door his body became heavy, pinned to the floor while his vision blurred and Reed felt like the air out of his lungs were disappearing. He tried to tell himself it was nothing, but his mind already worked itself up. A cry ripped through his chest as he finally allowed himself to feel what he had avoided for the few months he had been back.

#c: rhodes 004 #reed: conversation [on the street when i forgot the city breathes when i do not]#tw: drug use #tw: sadness #tw: mental breakdown

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giggly-squiggily · 10 months

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Okay, but what even IS an emergency request? Like, for money?

CW: Suicide mentioned, abuse

Heyo! From my understanding, emergency requests are fics or headcanons in which someone’s going through a tough time and is in need of comfort.

Like- an example of it would be: “Could I ask for an emergency request with Tanjiro comforting a reader who’s having an anxiety attack” Or “Could I please have some Dazai headcanons comforting his S/O having suicidal thoughts” things like that.

They can range anywhere from little things like going through a break up or having an argument to much heavier subject matter like dealing with an abusive situation or mental breakdowns. Depending on the author and their rules is how many topics they’d cover. I haven’t seen anyone charge for them, so I can’t say if that’s a thing.

Now- just to be clear; I could be absolutely wrong about this completely. I don’t write emergency requests and don’t plan to so I’m by no means an expert on the topic. This is more or less what I’ve gathered from blogs I follow that do emergency requests. Those who are more knowledgeable- please feel free to pop in/reblog this with more info or corrections to anything I may have gotten wrong.

I hope that clears it up! Like I said- I’m by no means super knowledgeable on the subject so I could be dead wrong- but that’s what my understanding of it is.

#squiggily speaks #ask #anon #tw: suicide mention #tw: suicide #tw: suicide thoughts #tw: abuse #tw: mental breakdown #tw: anxiety #tw: anxiety attacks #I could be wrong but I think that’s what they are?

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ninjastormhawkkat · 10 months

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The Fall of Fair City - Chapter 16

"You waist time hiding and planning for when its best to still some cheese. In reality you should take this time to plan revenge against those who slander your name. Let the people of this city no why you are a true threat to their daily lives." Steven's harsh words echoed within Two Brains tormented mind. 'This is doesn't make any sense.' Two Brains thought with confusion. Arguments between his good and evil side were never this violent. Even then, it was always his evil side pushing down his good one in the end. Now this time the tables were turned. Two Brains could feel his good self oppressing him. He wish he could mentally fight back without this stupid headache in the way!. Out of the corner of his eyes, Two Brains could see the mouse brain glowing out of control, but he still couldn't feel the mouse's presence. How was Steven keeping his and Squeaky's minds separate? "Why do you even care about my status and choices I should make as a villain? I thought you hated when I did bad stuff and ruined our old good name?" Steven's glare caused Two Brains to feel a shiver throughout his body. "What I hate is how your making yourself weak and vulnerable to your enemies. It's pathetic!" Steven spat. "Would you just shut up now and crawl back to whatever part of our mind you were cowering in before." Two Brains growled. He had enough of Steven's words. "Hmph. You just want me to go away and stop having to face the reality of what a pathetic person you have become." Steven scoffed, but then, a dark and very familiar malicious grin formed on his face. "If I were in charge, then this inconvenience with the broadcast would go away just like that." Steven stated in a sly tone, snapping his fingers for emphasis. That did it for Two Brains. Ignoring the emotional and physical pain he was feeling, the mad scientist straightened himself up and glares in outrage at his counterpart. "Okay first, you have no right to question what I choose to do or not do as a villain. Second, YOU ARE NEVER GOING TO HAVE CONTROL OF THIS BODY EVER AGAIN! I'M IN CHARGE NOW BUB!" Two Brains yelled out. Although taken a bit back from the volume of that yell, Steven seemed to be unfazed by Two Brains' outbursts. "We'll see about that Two Brains." Steven said with a smirk. Two Brains snorted in pure rage. "OKAY WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU ALL OF A SUDDEN. JUST WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE TALKING TO ME LIKE..." "Dad, is everything okay?" Dr. Two Brains enraged expression morphed into a one of shock as he quickly spun around to the source of the voice that startled him. "Hey kiddo. How's your day been?" Two Brains asked, trying to calm down and recover from his emotional torment from earlier. His daughter Becky had returned along with Bob and apparently in the middle of his heated battle with his other half. Becky looked at her dad with intense worry and concern. "You sounded like you were yelling at someone just now." Becky strongly implied, showing she didn't by her dad's attempt at acting like nothing traumatic just happened. "Oh that well" Two Brains hesitated, trying to come up with a passable lie for his emotional outburst towards his "good" side who he just noticed out of the corner of his eye, vanished from the mirror. 'At least he remembered to not let Becky get involved in are arguments.' Two Brains thought with sarcasm. An idea soon popped into his head. "Oh yeah. A rat snuck into the lair trying to steal some of my cheese. I was trying to chase it off and the rat gave me some attitude. That's what the yelling was about. Everything's fine now sweetheart." Two Brains lied, placing his hands on his hips with fake enthusiasm and pride at his "explanation". Both Becky and Bob looked dubiously concerned at Two Brains for a bit, but they seemed to buy the excuse for now as Becky began to switch topics. "Well Bob and I looked into you being framed for the destruction of the storage unit and we discovered some things." Becky stated concisely, though there was a slight hint of apprehension in her voice. @melodythebunny @dualnaturedscientist

#wordgirl #wordgirl au #dr two brains #steven boxleitner #becky boxleitner au #bob/captain huggy face #the fall of fair city #angst #tw: mental abuse #tw: mental breakdown #tw: mental torment #Steven not letting up in his verbal abuse towards two brains #dark battle for control of mind and body #temporarily #😈

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weird-unlimited-ramblings · 11 months

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I’m gonna make a theory or headcanon about every Oak-Garcia . (Not counting Hilda, Barry, Birdy, or Autumn) this is the first post that I have made something darker, I added warning tags ,but this is also my first time using them. If I did something wrong feel free to correct me so I can edit the post.

Due to Henry and Mercedes living in Ecuador (with Birdie), neither of them know a lot about what happened to Hero. However, both of them know about how strained Normal and Hero’s relationship is and call frequently to give advice. They also talk with Hero a lot, who only really talks about her jobs. Both probably know it’s related to the doodler and something they are unaware of happening, but they tried pushing before and it didn’t work out well. They both just remind Hero and Normal that if they ever run into some trouble to call them.

Lark had always gotten obsessive about killing the doodler, but prior to “killing” Nick he was a lot better. After that night park finally crossed a line. Every negative trait in him got worse, and the good things began to fall away. Lark removed the safety from guns, he and sparrow harshened Hero’s training, his patience kept getting thinner.

Sparrow has always struggled with an alcohol addiction. The time normal remembers (mentioned in dance dance revelations (part 2 I think) is probably related to Hero’s mental breakdown at seeing the doodler. Or the thing I will be referencing in my section about Rebecca

Rebecca had known about the doodler, and didn’t know how hard Hero was being pushed (I need my kids to have one slightly redeemable parent). She was mostly at work or at home with Normal. When Hero came home after one of the trips and started crying for every night. Sparrow refused to talk about it. After things escalate Rebecca has a mental breakdown. Lark and Sparrow choose to stop Hero’ training and to also remove the memories of the doodler from Rebecca.

Hero has more jobs than just the internship and pizza delivery. She tries to keep herself busy so she never has to think about her own childhood, or her parents. She also likes that she’s making so much money. One she makes enough money to survive without her parents assistance she’s cutting contact fully with her family (including normal cause he’s a momma’s boy). She plans to get back in contact with him when he turns eighteen

Normal has connected sparrows’s pride and love together. He knows that even if his mom isn’t proud of him (she is) that she loves him whole heartedly. But he remembers being little and his dad looking at him weird, and always hanging out with Hero taking her out for ice cream (he wasn’t allowed to go.) When he finally got a properly relationship with Sparrow he connected it with something that had happened. He assumed that his dad was now proud of him.

The doodler definitely is gonna be defeated by Hero, if Normal goes full doodler. Cause the doodler above all wants to be loved, and it knows how much Hero feared it, knows how long she cried. Normal is her brother though, and in many ways her only family. The doodler is scary, but normal is a funny little freak. She’s gonna be terrified, but it’s her brother. The doodler wants to be loved, and Hero wants her brother back… any ways normal is gonna be the big sister of the doodler and they are gonna kick the oak twins in the crotch and then be siblings together. Happy happy happy

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supakixbabe · 6 months

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A little personal:

Tonight my 23 year old nephew got drunk and he broke down, and the most heartbreaking thing he said was:

“I can’t talk to a therapist. I can’t talk to a guy because he’ll think I’m less than a man. And I can’t talk to a girl because she’ll think I ain’t shit.”

Is this really the society we want? Where men have to HIDE their actual feelings because it’s apparently “not” manly to show them? or talk about them? We never would’ve known he needed ACTUAL help because he had to bottle it up.

#tw: mental health #tw: mental breakdown #men cry too #real men cry too #therapy #suicide awareness #awareness #break the stigma #break the silence #men #mens mental health #im sick of the bs #let men share their feelings #im so brokenhearted #i wish we knew #personal blog #personal

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miasparadigm · 2 years

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An Attempt

Tw: blood, tw: knives, tw: chasing, tw: mental breakdown, tw: non human creatures

I used first person here so it can be left upto interpretation on whether the main character here is an OC, or the reader themselves.

My breath hitched in my throat as I looked into the barely lit corridor; my figure blocked the light coming from the small window far behind me, only leaving a few streaks to illuminate the place that will soon be the abode of my demise.

Thud.

THUD.

The deafening sound of footsteps was akin to a hammer pounding against my head. The resounding sound burdening my headache and disorientating me. I darted through the corridor once again. Something I realized humored my chaser as high-pitched laughs rang all around me, getting louder with each passing second, as if they had heard a never-ending joke. My eyes burnt with unshed tears as I realized that they were right. This is exactly what it was.

A saddening, humorous joke of an attempt to survive.

The corridors were lined with old mahogany doors, their barely illuminated color haunting me, reminding me of my fate. My heart clenched in anguish as I remembered the times I had pathetically banged on these doors until my hands bled but to no avail. The doors were just a way to mock us. Give us all a fleeting sense of forlorn hope, only to snatch it away from us in order to achieve some sort of twisted form of glee.

All of this, just to get a little taste of their sick fun. A high they can't seem to get enough of but one that ends as quickly as it starts. It was far too addictive for these creatures to just stop. Far too addictive that they can't even think of anything else anymore.

My legs were numb from running for the past few hours. The blisters on my feet, a reminder, that far worse things would happen to me if I were to get caught before the time ends. So I persevered, carrying myself through the pain. Running away from the only source of light. Away from anything or anyone that could have saved me. Away from that monster. But most of all...

Away from my one escape from this hell hole.

I choked on a sob as I realized the sound of his footsteps had come to a stop and what the action meant.

He was scheming something.

A few moments passed in silence, save for the sound of my footsteps against the tiled floor.

A low whistling sound penetrated the air, followed by a few words that caused enough trepidation for me to almost trip.

"Oh, where could you be?"

His voice caused dread to weigh down my limbs, making it feel like I was moving through quicksand.

I ignored him and kept running, but I waited.

Waited for a sign from him. Some sign of what he was doing. Of what he was planning.

Alas, he made no sound. No word of his that was always shrill yet deep, like he had almost gotten how to speak right. Almost Human, but not quite there.

The creatures always had something a bit off. Their voice was always a bit too high. Their smiles always a bit too wide. Their movements always a bit too forced. Their eyes were the worst. They bore into you too intensely for something that looked so lifeless.

I had thought that he was different but these grim reminders should have made me stay away.

Silence continued.

I stopped in my tracks and turned around, peering into the dark, unwelcoming corridor. Waiting. Searching desperately for any signs of movement or any indication of his next move.

I cursed myself mentally for being this weak. I should think of a way to outsmart him as I had done before, but the morbid anticipation and exhaustion caused my mind to run all of its gears at once. My headache had turned into a full-blown migraine now.

I strained my ears for any sound, ignoring the ringing that had become a permanent part of my hearing. An outcome of the continued relentless screaming and crying that had happened almost every day. Caused by the creatures as they took our lives, one by one. The lives of innocent students who bore through this hell with me. Today it seemed, however, that I would be the one wailed upon.

After a few minutes of waiting, I started inching backward, keeping my eyes glued to the darkness, scrutinizing it; preventing myself from being caught off guard. I dug my nails into my palms to keep myself from crying from the heavy despair caused by this torture and giving him the show he wanted. I could already hear him cackling at me, maybe it was me finally going mad.

It would be a pleasant surprise if I hadn't already.

Something glistened in the darkness and my eyes widened in horror when I realized what was happening. But it was too late.

"AHH"

I let out a scream as searing pain spread through my leg. I looked down to see a knife embedded into it, blood gushing out and pooling all around my foot. My sense of fight and flight overwhelmed the pain and I tried to move but it caused the knife to further dig into my leg. Before I could even bend down to pull it out, I heard fast footsteps approaching.

He was running towards me.

I didn't even have a chance to register what was happening and take off before the outline of his figure, shrouded in darkness, came into view. The only thing visible were his glowing green eyes, filled with blood lust. Within a flash his hands were at my throat, choking me. I clawed at the while I struggled to breathe. He leered at me, amused by my struggle. His eyes flitted all over my face, savoring my reaction.

He suddenly grinned maniacally at me, leaning in closer. His hot breath fanned my ear and I cried out as he spoke.

"You've lost."

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