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#twc poetry
creatingnikki · 4 months
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another year is ending and I want you to know that it is okay if you:
have not healed from the things that happened/did not happen from six months ago. just because the year is ending it does not mean your grief is too.
don't have any "fun" NYE plans to ring in the new year. this life is yours to live across days and months and years, and you can celebrate days other than the ones heavily marketed and shoved down your throat to shroud you in severe FOMO.
have no resolutions or goals for 2024 laid out in elaborate lists or shared on social media or with your friends. you are braving through this life trying to do your best every day and hold the fort and so of course you know, deep down you know what is needed from you for you going forward and of course you are going to work in that direction. good luck love.
have not become a "better" version of yourself by any of the tangible or conventional measures. that kind of bettering is mostly to serve others, not yourself.
are not happy with yourself/your life as it is now. you're a work-in-progress, remember? and if you're progressing in a direction you do not like, then it's time to change the blueprints and the strategy.
take time off social media around this time to protect your mental health and whatever little joy you have managed to keep.
don't want to spend too much time reflecting on how this past year went and doing various forms of 2023-wrapped. again, it's your life. you can also revisit this year in memories and pictures and feelings whenever you'd like. it's not like you don't still visit 2012, 2017, and 2022, right?
feel disconnected from your friends, family, lover. I know this is "ideally" a time to be celebrated with your loved ones. but life is not ideal, is it? it's just life. and if right now you are not feeling the love, the joy, or just don't have the headspace or social energy to engage , that's alright.
are finding comfort in simpler things like a TV show from the 90s or that book you first read at sixteen or that slice of strawberry cake or a random post like this you come across.
don't feel hopeful, encouraged, or excited for 2024. given everything that's happened in the last couple of years, on the macro and micro level, it's only natural for you to feel weary as well as wary. when the good things happen, when the healing happens, when things begin working in your favour over time, you will automatically feel all those things. it's okay if until then you choose to be neutral.
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illbeyouranchor · 8 months
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There’s a gentleness to you
One so easily missed
Subtle gifts
In disguise
From those cherry tinted lips
There’s a riddle around you
A false shuffle
Of your cards
And though you might have fooled the audience
I can still see who you are
And the view is lovely
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heartofmuse · 10 months
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The sound of your voice is the undoing of my soul, the surrendering of my all. The crystalline clarity that is your voice is the sun as it moves over a flower-filled field in spring. I hear the chime of bells in your laughter, and it calls me from afar to pray. I recognize the sound that calls me home, I turn, I search, and I find the one my heart belongs to. 
e.v.e.
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she-wears-glasses · 9 months
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I’ve always been afraid, because
the moment someone gets
close, and
looks deeply in my eyes they’ll see all of my
demons
swirling around in my eyes.
I don’t want to dim the light in
someone else’s eyes.
They don’t know
what they’re getting involved in.
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grocerystoretrip · 1 year
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pluto probably has a hole in his heart and we will never know
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astriloquus1 · 21 days
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What goes around comes around Like I drowned. So do I let you in? Do I fall back to your pinky and spin?
Oh she’s gone again Darling I’ve fallen all over again I tell you it won't happen again. Been there, done that. Yet again, You quietly call the bluff in my voice. Again and again and again And again.
A million times, I’d choose you if I could. But I never did decide. Cause falling isn't a choice, I understood You walk in and I realize There you stand, And here I am, damned.
What goes around comes around. Pretty much how you downed. So do you get another chance? Was any of this ever a romance?
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goneahead · 1 year
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I know now how the pines felt, in those heady first few days, when flowers bloomed for the first time. I understand how their resin dark hearts cracked and they spread their arms willingly to the cold forgetfulness of snow. You are four states and nine hundred miles away, and oh, how I know what the pines felt, when the fickle butterflies abandoned them, forever… ~~~~~ weird fact: butterflies are much older than flowering plants
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forestgirlpoems · 1 year
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you have all this sadness inside of you and you don't know where to put it
you try to bottle it in your tears then run away from them in dreams
but sleep evades you until the small hours of the night
you're afraid of tomorrow afraid of carrying the pain for yet another day
so you try to talk to your friends eat dinner and laugh and forget about the demons in the shadows
you try to spend time alone and listen to your heart be kind and not pick yourself apart
but no matter how hard you try
it's a never drying well and even though you attempt to brush it off and scatter it in the corners around you
in the end
you still have all this sadness inside of you and nowhere to put it
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alcoholandpenpals · 1 year
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Don’t go down on her if you don’t want to. But why wouldn’t you? Do you know how it feels to cause a goddess to submit, as you devour the nectar between her legs? Start slow. Kiss, lick, breathe. Don’t go near the places she wants you to. Not yet. Tease. Make her wait. Make her earn it. Wait until her nails run through your hair trying to direct you, closer, closer to what she needs. Be patient. Kiss, lick, suck. Make her writhe. Feel the soles of her feet press against your back.  Make her moan. Listen to her breathing. Control her. Command your idol with your tongue. Hold back. Make her beg. When you’re ready, give in to her. Let her have what she wants. Taste every inch of her. Make sure her love runs down your chin. Give her ecstasy. When she is done, stop. Briefly. Start again. Slowly, Never, ever, be satisfied with one.
Don’t - AandP
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wordsandmorewords · 6 months
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Waltz
The waltz of a leaf As it falls from the tree Light breeze its partner in dance
Twirls and lifts Pirouettes and pauses Until exhausted, until it rests
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creatingnikki · 1 year
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things to remember in 2023
goodbye emo era, goodbye empath era, goodbye all you eras that have been putting others + emotions at the center of everything. hello self-serving era. self-serving, not selfish. see, more accurate vocabulary can make all the difference. 
choose people who choose you. bare minimum is not impressive. it’s only an indicator that hmmm maybe I can explore what something with this person could lead to. it’s the basic eligibility criteria for opening up your time/schedule to someone, not heart. only time. 
new people don’t need to know life stories and trauma from before 2018. if you want to talk about it just write about it, write it into your book. 
do not listen to your parents. I mean this in the most respectful possible way. you are an adult now, you make your own decisions. because 20 years from now if you are sad and miserable and hating your life and you tell them hey it’s because you made me la la la chances are they are going to turn around and be like nobody forced you, you were an adult, you made your own decisions. so just make your own decisions. and they would be right. like just dodge the emotional manipulation and the drama and the guilt and lack of validation from them for a bit and go ahead and do things you want to in your life. and you already have daddy issues, right? pacify them in bed or something idk. just make your own bloody decisions independent of what your family/others expect of you.
explore more Hindi music. 
channelize certain things you’ve seen in most men around you. channelize compartmentalization. channelize binary problem solving. channelize cutting your losses and exiting at the right time from romantic situations that do not have any future no matter how much you feel for them in the present. 
do not force yourself to write fiction. maybe you don’t want to create stories. maybe you just want to write down what you already know. maybe you just want to write creative non-fiction. why is that a bad thing? don’t you think it’s time to let go of the ideas you have hyper-romanticized and see things for what they really are and then work with them? 
dating apps are not where you will find love. hook-ups, maybe. but drama-free hook-ups? yeah, not quite sure about that either. let’s just go back to how we were before? let’s just focus on our life and believe that love will happen if and when it’s supposed to? 
self-dates must make a return. you found that amazing second-hand bookseller next to your home and your favourite cafe from Bangalore is now in Mumbai and so many new art galleries are opening up around and when was the last time you went to Marine Drive and maybe it’s time to sneak into your college to go have your favourite food again from the canteen and maybe after work you can stay around and explore the popular bars and maybe you can find a post office next to your new apartment so you can start sending letters and packages to your best friend again. I know, I know 2022 was a year of such dramatic highs that gave you such adrenaline rush that coming back to things that were more grounded and brought you joy seems difficult but baby please. you cannot run towards psychosis so soon, okay? come back. 
on that note, let’s find a yoga class around your apartment and also a gurudwara. 
sign up for experiences and invest for the long term but do not invest in material things like furniture. at this point you are the typical mid-20s person who is free to up and leave whenever and wherever and you haven’t found a place you want to call home yet anyway. so keep your money liquid, don’t lock it up in stupid things, but invest for the long-term in equity assets to create wealth. also, go meet your accountant please. and get life insurance. 
do not let family stuff get to you emotionally. deal with it in a logistic, functional, and objective way. as much as possible. 
you really don’t have to respond to people within 24 hours, 48 hours, or even a week. I mean other than very few selected people (family, best friend, and your partner), nobody is owed your immediate attention. and even these inner circle people are owed your immediate attention only in a way where you keep them in the loop to let them know you are alive and doing okay. 
you are a warm person and it’s easy for people to like you wherever you go. but you have such limited time, energy, and brain cells. you cannot scale yourself like a company. which means if you more people want to get to know you, talk to you, etc., you can’t supply them with that because you are not a scalable product. okay? okay. 
earning more money will help only in a limited manner if you do not budget and control your spending. it’s not the person who earns more that is rich but the person who saves and invests and doesn’t take debt for consumption purposes. you can no longer be the ironic financial writer like in the confessions of a shopaholic. you are no longer a kid, you are an adult who has to take care of yourself and soon your dependents and so you cannot keep ranting on about capitalism while falling constant prey to it. instead you have to benefit from it.
figure out what is your choice of poison. for when you wanna just vibe, for when you want to get drunk drunk, for when you wanna be bhand. figure it out. 
think of studying Korean as doing an undergrad degree. so you know you have to stick with this for the next three years. this way you don’t see it as a short-term fancy but as a longer term commitment and reach level 6 of fluency in the language. this way, by the time you are in your late 20s, you will actually be able to read Korean books in Hangul and not the English translation. that’s your goal, isn’t it? and writing poetry in Korean too. 
your high school friend answered the question no doctor was. when you drink alcohol, make sure there is a 3-hour gap between that and your medication. but also keep the drinking in check. I mean honestly, iced coffee and fresh fruit juices for the win. 
you go through people like you go through books. but people are not books. time to pick up actual books again and press pause on people. 
do not commit anything to anybody because you have no sense of stability or certainty in your life right now. that doesn’t make you flighty. that doesn’t make you irresponsible. in fact, it makes you responsible because you aren’t making promises you aren’t sure you are capable of keeping even if you want to keep them. actions > intentions. 
time to have a skincare routine. your sister has written you a whole blog on it - just follow that. 
also oh my god. being twenty five/twenty six does not make you old. you don’t have to look at the younger people you interact with and feel uncool or outdated because then that’s how you’ll always feel. like when you were younger, you would look at the older people and think they are so cool, graceful, smart, and badass. divine, even. then that’s what you are becoming now. not knowing what certain emojis and slang means really has no bearing on how relevant you are. 
this isn’t an exhaustive list, so come back. don’t just write this and forget all about it. come back, review, revise, add. but most importantly, remember. remember this is for you. so that you minimise pain and failure and shitty feelings and maximise peace and success and joy. and you do like optimum utilisation of resources, don’t you? so do that. apply yourself for yourself. that’s where the returns are the highest. 
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illbeyouranchor · 7 months
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Fingers running gently
Along my jaw
Lips pressing tightly
Against my neck
I catch my breath
At the sight of you
And it almost feels real
Almost
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heartofmuse · 9 months
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Your words enchant the soul like an endless song, a promise of paradise, madness and fire, a whirlwind of emotion in the soul that opens up the sky.
e.v.e.
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aides-memoire · 6 months
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Falling in love feels like finding lighthouse; it both can be a guide or a warn.
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grocerystoretrip · 1 year
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my own private nonexistence
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astriloquus1 · 6 months
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Can I fall into you now? I'm nothing if not yours.
Can you hear me at all? Standing behind these doors.
Can you feel the tug? Every time it's your name I curse.
Can I drown in you finally? The void just keeps getting worse.
Can you hold me when I break? Not strong enough to stay away.
Can you stop hurting me now? Promise to let you have your way.
None of me rhymes without you, Nothing makes sense.
Can we be us forever? I can't do it anyway else.
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