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steeklover · 2 years

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WHY I THINK CARTEEK IS THE MOST REASNOABLE, HEALTHY CARTMAN SHIP-An Essay

**DISCLAMIER**: I've never done anything like this before and like I state throughout this essay, a lot of the evidence presented is a stretch, but I still really like Carteek and wanted to talk about them!! If anyone has any opinions on this whether they agree or disagree, I would love to hear it! I'm respectful of people's opinions on here and respect if people don't like this ship but I think it's dismissed to freely without being thought about.

When you think about it Carteek makes way more sense than popular Cartman ships like Kyman or Cutters because out of all the kids in South Park, it can most likely be said that Cartman is the nicest to Tweek.

Tweek is probably the kid in South Park that Cartman treats the best when it comes to the main 5 and then Craig's gang plus the girls.

We already know how he treats Kyle.

It can be said that he's pretty nice to Stan and Kenny but even then, he's done shit to them.

He's stated that he hates Craig before and then took his birthday money from him. (there's probably better evidence than that but I can't think of it)

He's pretty racist towards Token but I can't really tell if he's being mean or if he's just dumb.

He's pretty nice to Clyde to but then there was that pirate episode where he made him cry.

He stole Jimmy's fish sticks joke and manipulated him into thinking that he came up with the joke. He also beat Jimmy up when he was trying to be nicer to Kyle in Casa Bonita.

He was manipulative towards Heidi and we all know how he feels about the rest girls...

But the worst thing he's ever done to Tweek is probably when he got Craig to wear a Buddha Box and even then, it wasn't necessarily towards Tweek. He talked to Craig about getting away from his parents and relationships (I mean it could be said that this is directed at Tweek but then again, Craig has other friends, so it doesn't necessarily have to be his romantic relationship) but then when Craig started complaining about Tweek, Cartman went back to ignoring him.

(Like literally Craig, I love you and I get it but...shut up!)

But anyway, Cartman was not going to listen to Craig talk about his crush like that but that's literally the worst thing I can think of. And there's plenty of evidence that supports Cartman having a crush on Tweek.

GNOMES:

When Tweek is first introduced we see both Kyle and Stan complain about Tweek but Cartman doesn't say anything mean about him which is odd because... come on, it's CARTMAN.

Specfically:

Stan: Oh no, not Tweek.

Kyle: We don't want to be in a group with Tweek.

Mr. Garrison: There's nothing wrong with Tweek, I'm sure he'll do a great job in your group. (period Mr. Garrison)

Stan also says: Dude, we can't work with this kid.

Yet Cartman stays slight for once.

Then when they're working in their groups Cartman's the only one who believes Tweek about the underpants gnomes by saying:

He's so cute about it too. And the whole time during this scene he was just sitting there with a cute smile on his face.

Then when they're all at Tweek's house when Tweek's worried about his parents going out of business, Cartman out of all people is the one who attempts to comfort him when Kyle quote on quote, tells him not to worry about it.

Tweek shaking to death in the corner of his room: What if my parents go out of business? What'll I do?

Kyle's dumbass (affectionate): Don't worry about it.

Tweek: But we'll die and starve like dogs.

Kenny: Fuck you.

Cartman laughing: You suck Kenny.

See, Cartman made an attempt, as lazy and rude as it was, to make Tweek feel better and I actual feel like it was a genuine attempt, and that Cartman was just being stupid so it didn't really seem helpful. Plus, the attempt was made while ripping on Kenny, someone who it can be is one of Cartman's closer friends. So, it could be said that Cartman was showing off in front of Tweek.

My last piece of evidence from this scene is when they finally see the underpants gnomes and Cartman hits the one who's been stealing Tweek's underpants on the head with a stick.

I may be stretching this a little too far, but I like to view it as Cartman protecting his boyfriend from those thieves. And then when Kyle asks him why he had to hit the gnome on a head with a stick, Cartman stutters over his words, like he's trying to find an explanation that won't get him outed.

And that was just in Gnomes which was Tweek's first interaction with the main 4 plus his first actual episode. There's plenty of more examples of Cartman having an obvious crush on Tweek.

The next episode I can think of is Professor Chaos where they ultimately end of picking Tweek to be there new friend. Even more specifically near the end where they're down to the last five contestants. This may also be a stretch but...

Cartman thinks Towelie is awesome, but Kyle eliminates him since he's always high

Cartman calls Timmy self-absorbed

Cartman calls Token a smart ass

I think it was pretty safe to say that Pip wasn't going to be their new friend since they got mad at him at whatever game they were at and plus, the hate that child.

So, it may have just been foreshadowing since Tweek was the only one who no one said anything about, but I would just like to point out that once again, Cartman said nothing about Tweek.

I just find this very interesting because Cartman's very opinionated and doesn't spare people his opinions. I love Tweek but it's obvious that he has obvious flaws, and I wouldn't be surprised if something was said about Tweek. Stan and Kyle have said some pretty rude things about Tweek before (which hurts my Steek heart) but Cartman hasn't which I just can't get over.

So, in the end, they pick Tweek as their new friend.

The next piece of evidence is once again, a bit of a stretch but sometimes you just gotta pull that evidence in your favor. In the next episode, The Simpsons Already Did It, Cartman gets upset when his fish people things don't work.

You may see this as plain rude, but I see it as Cartman of all people being the only fucking person in that entire town that cares about the fact that Tweek walks around with his shirt buttons mismatched so his bare stomach is exposed when it's fucking snowing outside. He's only angry because he cares about Tweek and doesn't want him to freeze to death.

The next example I can think of is in Bebe's Boobs Destroy Society which is a pretty obvious example. When the boys meet at the restaurant, Cartman decides to kick Kyle out of the group first, over Tweek who's been there the least amount of time. You could say this is due to the fact that Cartman does not like Kyle but when I first watched this episode, I was pretty sure Cartman was going to kick Tweek out. But he didn't. Because he loves him.

This example is yet again, another stretch but also in Bebe's Bobbs Destroy Society, after Cartman gets kicked out of the group, he goes to the bus stop where the boys are with Bebe and gets upset again, stating:

Cartman: That's fine, that's fine! Fuck you Kyle and fuck you Stan!

Cartman walks away before walking back up to the group

Cartman: Fuck you, Tweek!

You have to look deeper here. Cartman is obviously hurt that Tweek didn't fight for him to stay in the group and was debating on whether he should call Tweek out on it or not. That's why he didn't flip Tweek off at first but then he changed his mind because Tweek upset him.

The next example is also pretty obvious and comes from the episode Child Abduction Is Not Funny where the boys go to the movies and Tweek freaks out over a new ticket booth man. Cartman expresses his concern for Tweek with the following comment:

Cartman: God, what the hell did his parents do to him?

Whether this was meant as a joke or was sincere, it's unclear but I like to think of it as the latter.

After that it is assumed that Tweek was kicked out of the group or just stopped hanging out with Stan, Kyle and Cartman since Kenny was reintroduced and he wasn't seen with them anymore.

Another example I can think of is another stretch and supports the fact that Cartman and Tweek are friends more than it supports Cartman's crush but it's from Tweek x Craig when Cartman is questioning Tweek and Craig's relationship. Afterall, it can be said that Cartman is the reason that Tweek and Craig ended up together since he had Cupid-Me shoot them with his arrows. Like I said, it doesn't really support Carteek romantically as much as it does support Carteek as friends but it's still nice since Cartman wasn't just thinking of himself in this episode. He even stated that he cared about the town when he went to Cupid-Me at the bar and told him that the whole town was depressed that Tweek, and Craig broke up.

The last example I can think of is, you guessed it, a stretch but comes from Put It Down, where Cartman expresses concern for Tweek (I don't know if this is what he was actually doing or if he was just annoyed with Tweek but let's go with the first one) and tells Craig that he needs to get Tweek to get a hold of himself.

So in conclusion:

Carteek needs more love.

I've literally seen people who ship Kyman out of all the Cartman ships they could ship, say that Carteek sucks. You guys can't be talking, and this is coming from someone who's favorite ship for both Cartman and Kyle is Kyman.

I also don't want to see anymore fanfics where Cartman and Tweek hate each other and where Cartman bullies the hell out of Tweek because it's very overused with very little canon back up besides the fact that Cartman's a bully. Sure, he is a bully but it doesn't seem to be that way when it comes to Tweek.

Although there's not really any canon facts that support Tweek liking Cartman (especially that one scene), I still think it's very cute when you think about one-sided Carteek on Cartman's side.

(Which I really don't understand Tweek because he's never really done anything to you... well maybe except for when he forced you to spend your night making paper hats, but you never sleep anyway so...)

I think when it comes to a lot of Cartman ships, people automatically dismiss them because of Cartman himself and yes, when there's ships like Kyman and Cutters (once again, not hating because Kyman is my OTP and I ship Cutters too) which are obviously not that great when it comes to how Cartman treats Kyle and Butters, but Carteek seems to be different.

And yes, it's fun to ship Kyman, it really is since they have such a weird dynamic with each other so maybe a ship like Carteek may not be as interesting to some people seeing that Cartman is actually pretty nice to Tweek, but I think that's what actually makes it interesting. Cartman isn't nice to anyone, not really even his mom and even though Tweek and Cartman have minimal interaction with each other, there's plenty of evidence that shows Cartman's attraction to Tweek whether it's just as friends or romantically. I mean, come one Cartman wasn't even as nice to his own girlfriend as he was to Tweek.

But it's very hard to tell when Cartman is generally concerned and when he actually cares about someone, so you really have to put some pieces together when it comes to this evidence. Sure, Cartman might come off as rude when he says stuff like "God, what the hell did his parents do to him?" but I like to see it as him being genuine.

Obviously Tweek is my favorite character and Cartman is in the top ten and I have a habit of shipping my favorite characters together because... well that's kind of how it is the most time but unlike my OTP, Steek (even though I could probably find some evidence if I put my mind to it) and Twenny, Tweek ships that don't really interact with each other, I find Carteek to make a lot of sense.

#south park #tweek tweak #eric cartman #cartweek #carteek #tweekman #i said what i said #and i stand by my statement #feel free to add your opinions #lis’ south park thoughts™#i'm just going to sit here and wait to see what people think #you guys probably hate me now

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valdarian · 7 years

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Dear Cartman, Forever yours

Oneshot. Onesided/hints of Keneric(Kenman), Cartters(Buttman), Carteek/tweekman

Kenny’s Pov

He felt like he'd been hit by a freight train...quite literally might he add.

'I don't think i'll ever get used to this.' He thought, digging his palm into sleep swollen eyes.

Sighing, his hand dropped to his lap as he gazed lazily around his unkempt room.

'Still the same as always...'

Nothing ever seemed to change from his childhood. Even now at seventeen he still lived in the same shitty house, went to the same shitty school, in the same shitty town.

Oh and he still died like five times a week.

It seemed like he was on a nonstop roller coaster that kept going around the same bend over and over and over and ov...

Well almost. He smirked, swinging his legs onto the floor. Feeling strangely energized.

An hour later...bus stop

There was just something about him. Either love him or hate him, the latter more often than not; But Eric Cartman was definitely something else.

Annoying, arrogant, narcissistic, and an all around psychopathic social-path were words to describe him.

...and one Kenny McCormick was hopelessly and endlessly in love with him.

Here he was actually enjoying a nice conversation with Cartman.

'His Eric.'

He adored these moments, when he got to see this side of the teen. A side few other have had the privilege to witness. When no one else existed but them.

The brunette was far more open and rarely felt the need to tease without an audience. Eric could be just Eric and Kenny could be Kenny. After all wasn't that how best friends forever were supposed to be.

All in all it had started off as a perfect day. Stan and Kyle hadn't arrived at the bus stop yet. The sun was actually out for once and he wasn't freezing his butt off.

However, like many things in his life. Things just didn't seem to go his way.

Within minutes one Leopold "Butters" Stotch decided to show his face.

Once again their private moment together was ruined, interrupted for who ever knows how many times.

He just couldn't get a break could he.

He could see those walls going up again. He knows, years of being so close to the brunette has allowed him to read the teen. See the signs, learn what makes him tick, and avoid the worst of his blowouts. He probably knows Eric better than he knows himself.

That doesn't help him this time however.

He grunts as the blond bimbo squeezes between them and he swears he sees a small smirk of triumph shot his way from the other blond.

'How dare he.' He thinks, feeling his eye twitch.

Butters is rambling a mile a minute and he's not listening to a word of it. His gaze meets Eric and he can tell the brunette looks as annoyed as he feels. It brings him some small amount of solace.

It doesn't stop his jealousy as he witness's Butters wrap his arms around a red sleeve. It takes all of his self control not to rip the lighter haired blond off.

He curses not for the first time Eric's new patience level. If there was one thing that grew bigger over the years it was that. As the brunette's weight shrunk, his tolerance for things and people grew larger.

He still had anger issues and a sadistic streak a mile wide. It was just harder to set him off...well...somethings at least...and a whole lot less than his childhood self...for the most part anyway.

Eric was by no means thin but more of a pleasantly plump type now. Personally the dirty blond liked him either way. Made for the best hugs, rare that they may be.

And boy did the brunette have an attractive face to boot. Apparently he took after his mother in more ways than one.

Too bad others had noticed. Although he's pretty sure Butters has liked Eric even before that.

And he knows that the fairer haired blond has wormed his way into brunette's heart, nearly where Eric keeps him. It hurts. Even if he knows Eric won't return it. Even if he feels confident about his BFF status with the bigger teen.

It still shakes him. Both chasing after something just out of reach. They are far too much alike. Their similar features don't escape him either.

It only adds fuel to the fire. He catches himself wondering if Eric has a thing for blonds. The brunette definitely seems to surround himself with the fairer haired. Or at least has some uncanny ability to draw them to him.

Of course they were still friends with Stan and Kyle but more often than not the brunette is hanging out with him or butters. He's pretty sure that that's why Eric has Tweek spend time with them sometimes too.

The brunette will always make some kinda show, get all huffy and puffy. Explain why he can't stand the twitchy blond's messy appearance. Tweek will usually respond with something like its the coffee's fault again.

Bullshit. He knows the messy haired teen hasn't had coffee in weeks or at least not anything his parents have made. He's seen Tweek look completely presentable one minute, only for Eric to turn the corner and him to look a mess. Running up to the brunette to have him fuss over him. Button up button, smooth wild hair, ask him why he's drinking his parent's coffee again.

In Eric's own dramatic angry way with lots of swearing and yelling of course. But fussing none the less.

Its brought the McCormick an endless amount of anger on more than one occasion.

Sometimes he thinks about doing things like that. Drawing the brunette's attention to him by acting helpless like Tweek or clingy like Butters. But no, he can't. His pride won't allow it. He's pretty sure Eric wouldn't either. The brunette knows him too well.

He sighs in relief as Stan and Kyle walk up. For once happy to have them interrupt. Eric throws his arms up in exasperation, effectively releasing Butter's hold.

The platinum blond pouts and he can't stop himself from grinning behind his jacket. Victory.

"What took you so long Jew?"

"Hey shut up fat-ass, I was helping my dad find his keys." Kyle fires back.

"I'm not fat, i'm big boned!" The brunette fumes as their bus arrives. The doors opens and as Eric walks on the McCormick wastes no time cutting off the smaller blond to stea- er claim his rightful place next to the bigger teen.

He bites back a laugh at the dark glint in otherwise sky blue eyes as the platinum blond is forced to sit a few seats away.

Perhaps somethings really can go his way.

#south park #sp #kenny mccormick #tweek tweak #eric cartman #butters #leopold stotch #kenny #cartman #tweek #kenman #keneric #buttman #cartters #carteek #tweekman #onesided #hint #fanfic

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