Edward, Alice, and Jasper at their 23rd Rosalie and Emmett wedding
Edward is happy that those two are happy, but as an emo virgin with no one to love, he thinks it’s sappy and gross (not ironic at all 🤪)
Alice is PUMPED for every single one, and I know for a FACT that she’s got a photo album of JUST Rosalie’s weddings
Jasper likes seeing Alice happy, and he likes to show off his dance moves. That’s it tho. He loves Rosalie and all, but by the 9th wedding he was beyond bored
Emmett doesn’t really mind, but he knows that this is what makes Rosie happy, so he’ll go to the ends of the earth for the 300000 special days that woman deserves - and he still doesn’t think that’s enough for his absolute angel of a wife. His proposal is different every single time, and Emmett gives it 110% every 👏 single 👏 time 👏
Rosalie pretends all she wants is a big fancy party, but she really really is a hopeless romantic, and likes to share as many romantic moments with Emmett as possible. And she likes to see her family dressed up and edwards suffering
Okay weird question:
If Bella was a mermaid... (stay with me)
And she and Edward met... (keep going)
She could turn Edward into a merman, (canceling his vampirism) or he could turn her into a vamp (canceling her mermaidism)... what would happen? Who would turn who?
(I swear to god I don't have a fic in mind, I just have a weird brain.)
I like how anon preemptively counters my "Anon, you clearly want to write a fic so go do it" response. Well played, anon, well played.
Shockingly, I think I have a fairly easy answer to this. Presuming we ignore how the fuck these two would even meet and what in the bananas is going on here.
Oh, I'm sure Bella Swan is more than a little like Disney's The Little Mermaid's Ariel: I can see her desperately longing to be human in the sunlight, despising her appearance and thinking the worst of herself, and there's Edward literally glittering in the sun.
He is a god among men.
However, being a mermaid who, quite literally, doesn't get out much, I imagine Bella can't tell the difference between a vampire and a human.
They both have those leg things, don't they?
Edward may smell a little funny, and his flesh be hard as rocks, but he's just the shiny variety of human. I imagine Bella assumes he's a human prince or else a human further blessed by the gods.
And coming from a people who murders humans herself (depends what kind of mermaid Bella is here, anon) she, ah, wouldn't find that that weird. Or terrible.
She likes humans, sure, wants to be one but her people have a long history of singing them to their death.
But anyways, Edward, not being able to hear her thoughts. Probably is too awed by MERMAID to realize that Bella doesn't know he's not human. She's seen him in sunlight, he is a hideous monster! (That speech goes right over Bella's head, she thought he was talking about being human/not a mer person)
Then there comes the question. Does he clarify?
Unlike in Twilight, he's presumably in no danger of eating her. And she might swim away from him in disgust if she knew and...
Then he learns that she can turn him into a merman.
That he would be eternal, with her, and not a vampire.
He might not become human again, but he would be something that is not this grotesque crystalline ravenous gargoyle either. He would no longer thirst for human blood, his skin would be soft and opaque, he could live in the sunlight (alright so he'd have to hide in the ocean BUT HE COULD LIVE)
And Bella, sweet, wonderful, Bella, is his salvation.
He romantically tells her to turn him for he is willing to leave his entire life behind to live with her. Bella thinks this is so noble and tragic, that he'd leave all the joys and wonders of being human just for her (yes, he says, that's totally what I'm doing just now).
Edward turns into a mermaid.
... Then he angsts about being a fish person who still isn't human.
Obviously, this depends on the pair being somewhat close to canon in terms of interest in one another. Bella might fall into the same boat as her canon self did for the same reasons, but Edward won't have Bella's scent. Her being so different could be lure enough but there's a large possibility of the shapeshifter effect: ew smell.
I honestly think that's the most likely and that Edward would view Bella much the way he does most shapeshifters in the series.
In which case, of course, neither would be turned into the other.
But at least Bella lives this time.
Children of the Moon
The Twilight Guide
Basically needed an online record of the Children of the Moon, aka the Twilight werewolves that are closer to the traditional sort of werewolf portrayed in media.
Inspired by @panlight ‘s answer to an ask HERE , here is a list of what the un-shown werewolves (non-Quileute) in Twilight are like:
they change by the full moon only and when they change they look half human, half wolf
they cannot control any of their urges when they are in their furry state--->they are “feral”
they are as strong and fast as vampires
they have more powerful forelegs than hind legs, making them more ape-like than canine
they are immune to vampire venom (both the pain-inducement and the transformative element)
they reproduce themselves through a bite, like vampires do--they can't reproduce sexually, so they don't pass down their state through sex nor is it genetic in anyway whatsoever
they travel either alone or with one other werewolf that is of a different sex than themselves
they have been hunted down to near extinction by the Volturi because of their strength
Actual Passage in the Guide
Rosalie: I need you to swear-
Rosalie: Swear as in promise
#VAMPIRE #ROMANCE # HIGHSCHOOL PIXELBERRY REALLY SAID "AFTER REMAKING 50 SHADES NOW HERE'S TWILIGHT BESTIE ♡" They EVEN LOOK LIKE BELLA AND JACOB ASKFJDJDKDJD WHAT YEAR IS THIS EVEN
you just KNOW that if Bella had idk, worn eyeshadow? edward would have been like “oh, i can’t read the WHORE’S mind. that’s weird. anyways” and the book would have ended right there.
The ballet teachers in twilight coming to work on monday finding their mirrors broken, the floor ripped out and a mutilated corpse on the ground:
If the people of Forks made memes:
Edit: yes there is a typo here, pls stop mentioning it
This took so fucking long to make, but please do enjoy
Coming out of retirement to share what my school put up today
I saw this picture on Pinterest and I legally had to draw it
I think these two would be the corny tshirt couple, and they buy them for the fam as well because of course they do
In the universe were Bella eats Charlie, does this help to "wake her up", is she a better or worse mother? Is the death of Charlie enough to make any of the non imprinted shape shifters re-think about the imprint issue? (given how their reason of being is to protect humans from vampires and how one of them caused the death of a human because of the imprint) or would it be all the Cullens fault? And most importantly: does Emmet make jokes about it? Is that what breaks the Cullens in this universe?!? And how does Carlisle deals with being unable to send Bella to the funeral? 🤣
Anon's referring to this post.
... Good god, the answer is worse. Much worse.
"Would Bella eating her own father, within days of traumatically giving birth to a daughter eating her from the inside, the father pushed into seeing her by a man who used to be her best friend and is now intent on marrying her daughter, make her a more rational person and a better parent?"
Does that look like a question whose answer is "Yes, most definitely. We call it 'Death Therapy'"
I can't believe I'm actually going to bother answering your questions. I feel like I should hang up my hat and call it a day.
Does Bella Become a Better Parent?
She becomes an utter wreck. She probably isolates herself as much as she can, I imagine from the family as well as humans, as she lives in sudden fear of herself as the possibility she'd never really thought possible is in the worst of ways.
Oh, Bella had been told she might kill someone. She knew it was a possibility, but it'd always been a vague one.
Edward would stop her, someone would stop her, she'd move to Antarctica. And if she did kill someone then it'd be someone she didn't know, a tragedy, but not one that affected her any more than Edward initially killing her would have affected him.
Yes, the Cullens talk about struggling and Jasper nearly ate her once, but she's never seen them slip and it didn't all seem real to her.
Now it's very real, Bella has murdered her own father and he's never coming back, and she has failed as a Cullen within a matter of hours. She is the failure of the family, she's not good enough for them, she doesn't have the self-restraint and control for the diet and she's a burden to them.
She turned and she's still lesser.
Bella is a neurotic, depressed, mess who barely talks to anyone (especially Edward who is much too forgiving of her/angry with Jacob for this), and wants no relationship with her daughter. Bella isn't worthy to be in her daughter's life because she just ate the girl's grandfather.
Renesmee grows up estranged from her mother, having no real connection to her, and probably not a single conversation.
Rosalie just reminds people, in quiet moments when Bella's out of earshot, that she had voted not to turn Bella.
Do the Shapeshifters Rethink Imprinting?
No, because most of them weren't that accepting of it to begin with.
The shapeshifters did not view imprinting as a glorious, wonderful, thing. It causes Sam, Leah, and Emily great distress that they try to cope with, but none are shouting how wonderful it is.
Emily is utterly horrified at Quil having imprinted on her niece. Is barely okay with it when Quil is demoted to "babysitter who comes over once a week."
Jake lives in terror of imprinting because he knows it means he will lose everything he has with Bella. He won't be himself anymore or care about what Jake ever cared about.
The others seem to be doing okay but the imprintees seem to have little understanding of what this means and the consequences.
They all get along because they have to. That's key here: there is no choice and no one wants to find out what happens when the answer is "no".
There was no choice with Renesmee and because of that the tribe stood down (and was very confused on how he could imprint on a vampire, because what the fuck) but in terms of Charlie...
This isn't the first time a terrible tragedy has happened due to imprinting.
Sam mauled Emily. The scenario was very different in that his was an accident whereas Jake's was very intentional and a willful disregard of the human lives he was meant to protect but...
Imprinting steals your very soul.
It steals everything from you and means there is nothing you will not do for your imprint.
The tribe knows this and thorughout canon we see hints that they are not okay with it. But what can they do? It can't be stopped and it can't be reversed.
Does Emmett Make Jokes About it?
He knows enough to wait. And he holds them in, desperately, for years.
He keeps waiting. Because every time he thinks it's cool, Bella's somehow a mess again.
Rosalie tells him, "Honey, it's never going to be the right time. Don't do it. Ever."
Ten years out he slips. Just a freudian slip of the tongue, holding it in too long: "Hey Bella, swans must be your favorite food, amiright? Nyuk nyuk nyuk."
Bella implodes again, regresses back to ground zero, and everyone stares at Emmett in horror and then rage.
Emmett and Rosalie go on an emergency honeymoon for two years.
How Does Carlisle Deal with Not Sending Bella to the Funeral?
The Cullens are sent to the funerals in part to remind them their victims were human and death has consequences.
While Bella's accident was just as accidental as the other's, she is well aware of the impact killing Charlie had and spends years punishing herself.
I imagine Carlisle's secretly glad he didn't send Bella to the funeral.
I was quoted in Teen Vogue:
The same goes for Twilight. Now that everyone has started back on the series (or started it for the first time), people are now writing up a form of revisionist history that claims people only disliked that series because they hated women rather than… the rest of it. Like the way female characters are written or the recurring “trope” of Confederate vampires.
Of course, misogyny fueled some of the criticism with people negatively comparing Edward and the rest of the Cullen Clan to everyone from Buffy the Vampire Slayer‘s Spike to Wesley Snipes’ Blade. But that wasn’t the entire story. Retroactively claiming all criticism of Twilight and its fandom as sourced solely from some misogynistic anti-fandom, erases the valid criticisms of other marginalized people.
“It is impossible to take 'let teenage girls like things’ seriously when the thing they like is rooted heavily in racism,” Anishinaabe writer Ali Nahdee, founder of The Alia Test, tells Teen Vogue. “It is no longer ‘harmless fun’ when a non-Native white Mormon woman appropriated and rewrote the culture and history of an existing Native American tribe for her multimillion dollar book and film franchise. It is no longer harmless fun with non-Native actors play Native American characters that are sexualized and portrayed as violent, jealous, animalistic, and sexually predatory towards (white) women, girls and infants. It is no longer harmless fun when a Native female character is disfigured and nearly murdered by her boyfriend but forgives him because he is her ‘soulmate.’ It is not harmless fun when the white main characters refer to Native Americans as “dogs” and other derogatory slurs. Refusing to acknowledge this is inherently anti-indigenous racism.”
DID YOU KNOW?
In order to play the role of Edward Cullen, Robert Pattinson had to travel back in time to 1918 and catch the spanish flu so he could die and get bitten by a real life vampire then live 90 years and finally meet up with the directors in 2008.
Someone explain to me why Bella had the overwhelming desire to name her child like how 2010 fandoms named ships- Renesemee? Carlie? Girl it sounds like you want your parents to smash your bf’s parents
Renesmee, chatting to her friends at lunch: Yeah, my mom got married super young, straight out of high school, to a guy who was way too old for her. She got knocked up immediately. They kept the whole pregnancy a secret, she didn’t leave the house the entire time she was showing. My dad’s family didn’t even want to take her to the hospital to have the baby. My grandad, who was a doctor, was going to deliver me but she went into labour prematurely, like, way prematurely and they couldn’t reach him so my dad ended up having to deliver me even though he had no experience. Anyway, she died in childbirth. She was only eighteen.
Bella, from the other side of the cafeteria: