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#twilight saga

Funny how on TikTok I keep seeing twilight posts and a lot of comments are like, “The Twilight Renaissance is now”

Like as if its just started, baby we’ve been here keep up!

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ok but like HER NAME ASIDE the idea of her existence is super interesting and I beg everyone to put aside the name and the circumstances of how she came into being and just consider what the early life of Ness Cullen-Swan is like if we keep her canon growth rate.

because the more I think about it the more I think that she’d be such a fascinating person. like genuinely no jokes aside a half-vampire kid who grows at twice the rate of a normal person but developmentally is still basically a kid for how mature she appears that was raised by a coven of vampires and a pack of werewolves, who try their damndest to stay in human society, and who’s continued is not guaranteed bc of the vampire police? one wrong move and Ness is toast. she’s seven-years-old but looks fucking 17 and her body is too big for her brain.

imagine the way this kid must view the world as simultaneously too big and too small; too fast and too slow; as dangerous to the world but also the world is dangerous.

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First things first, my Ness is always this one.

Second, I tried to keep it Edward-centric but uh, I have too many thots.


  • The year is 2021. Ness is 15, and she is officially matriulating with the rest of the Cullens. (They would have started bringing her with them to school last year, but, uh, corona.)
  • She and Edward look so similar that they’re going with twins as their cover story.
  • While she and Bella have a very fun, friendly, choatic relationship, and she considers her mom her best friend, it left Edward to be the disciplinarian.
  • Very loosely, however. Because “it takes a village” was practically written about Ness’s childhood. Everyone in the entire clan parented her, and Bella and Edward didn’t mind one bit. Discipline was never really that much of a problem. Ness does whatever she wants.
  • So while they’re at school, she and her mom are basically chaos personified, and Edward tries to reign them in.
  • He’s always bringing her snacks. Always. Their friends are so confused.
  • “Isn’t your brother hungry? Why is he always piling food onto you?”
  • “He’s just overprotective. Isn’t that right, Dad?”
  • He’s always just glaring at dudes who have the AUDACITY to think about his precious baby girl at all. Half of them think he’s going to murder them.
  • He doesn’t bother with the girls, unless they think something especially crude.
  • Ness is so tired by May. Can you imagine your dad in high school with you and he can read your thoughts? She can’t even smile at a cute girl without Edward swooping in to tell her she’s too young to date.
  • Jacob thinks it’s fucking hilarious. “This is karma, leech,” he tells Edward. “You had impure thoughts about your wife before the wedding, and now your kid is the most eligible bachelorette in the joint.”
  • “Shut up, or I’ll start telling you about what Jason Reeves thinks about you while he’s in the bathroom during his free sixth.”
  • “I’m actually extremely interested in that information.”
  • Edward sits with her to do homework. This is technically her first year of high school. It will be the first of many, and he takes the opportunity to see her learning while the information is new.
  • She fucking hates Biology.
  • “DAD. I literally know that their information is wrong. I AM AN EXAMPLE. No one can explain THIS,” she says, gesturing vaguely to herself.
  • “It’s not humanity’s fault that you’re an inexplicable miracle.”
  • “Oh my God, you corny bitch.”
  • “Don’t call your father a bitch, hun!”
  • “Thank you, my love.”
  • “He’s much more of a corny douche.”
  • “… wow.”
  • Edward learned to cook because he was tired of Bella being the only one making food for Ness. Esme had gotten pretty good, too, but she always preferred Bella’s.
  • He finally expanded beyond eggs.
  • He’s actually a pretty good baker. Ness’s favorites of his are apple turnovers.
  • Emmett, Jake, and Ness are constantly pranking Edward. She forces Bella to use her shield to their advantage, so he never sees it coming.
  • When they filled the piano with shaving cream, he cried for two weeks. Ness got Carlisle to buy him a new one and then told him to shut up and get over it.
  • They bicker and he’s too protective, but they have their own fun.
  • Ness plays cello to accompany him. She also plays bass and Emmett plays drums. They do jam sessions.
  • When she’s sulking, Edward is the only one who can pull her out of it.
  • He likes to sneak up on her and scare her.
  • She likes being his twin.
  • “Ness, my guy, your brother is so fucking gorgeous.”
  • “JESUS H ROOSEVELT MACY CHRIST GROSS. Thanks tho. That means I am too.”
  • “I heard that!”
  • “You better run, Bella doesn’t play.”
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